Princess Luna in the Crystal Empire

by arglefumph

Chapter 1

Author's Note: I just saw the two-part opener for season three. I happen to like it, even though a lot of people are complaining about how the villain was not particularly villainous. I had no problem with King Sombra, to be honest.

No, the thing which threw me off the most was actually Princess Luna. I'm not talking about her Mysterious Book of Foreshadowing that appears during The Success Song. I'm talking about the way she acts at the start of the first episode.

Princess Luna is a grump for the entire scene.

Girl, you get one or two scenes per season. You're really going to waste yours by being a grumpypants who just glares at Twilight Sparkle during the exposition scene? Come on, Luna, you're better than that.

So I decided to write a version of the episode, where Luna also goes to the Crystal Empire and contributes a bit. I have not read the plethora of Luna fics in existence, so you'll have to forgive me if I make a rookie mistake like calling her two servants Bob and Clyde instead of using their real names, Dark Shadow and Shiny Sprinkles.

---

In the Hall of Stained Glass Windows, the two pony princesses were starting at the newest creation: a window depicting the wedding of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. Their thoughts were far from that happy day, as they discussed their course of action in the face of King Sombra's return.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go, as well?" Luna asked.

"Yes. Princess Cadance and Shining Armor are already there," Princess Celestia said.

"The empire's magic is powerful. It cannot fall again, my sister," Luna said. "I should go to help them, just in case."

"Do not worry," Celestia said. "I am already sending someone to ensure that King Sombra is defeated and the crystal ponies are saved."

"You are?" Luna asked, slightly surprised. "Does this mean you are going yourself, or—?"

The large doors at the end of the hallway opened up, and a nervous-looking purple unicorn came inside. "Hello? I'm ready for my test now!" she said uneasily, trying to sound like she was confident in her abilities.

Luna's jaw dropped. Surely, this couldn't be Celestia's plan...

"I brought my quills and plenty of paper to show my work," Twilight said, putting down her heavy saddlebags. A scroll of paper went all the way down the hall.

"This is a different kind of test, Twilight," Princess Celestia said. She used her magic to rescroll Twilight's paper. "The Crystal Empire has returned!"

"No!" Luna said, shocked. "This is your plan? You're using Twilight Sparkle?"

"Is...is something wrong?" Twilight asked.

"Yes!" Princess Luna said. "I offered to help save the Crystal Ponies! You're sending Twilight Sparkle in my stead?!"

Princess Celestia closed her eyes and sighed impatiently at Twilight Sparkle's horrible sense of timing. "Calm yourself, sister," she said. "I can explain."

"Am I to understand that I have been replaced?" Luna asked. "I, your greatest supporter? I, who helped you defeat King Sombra a thousand years ago?"

"Need I remind you what else happened 1,000 years ago?" Celestia asked. "Sombra's shadows and fear have a way of twisting the minds of even the most powerful ponies. If you fell to his—"

"That is never going to happen again," Luna said. "Never." She slammed her hoof on the ground angrily. "I thought you trusted me more than this."

Twilight Sparkle bit her lip, looking back and forth between the two princesses. She felt wrong for being there, as if she were an outsider peering in on the secret lives on others.

"Luna, you know I trust you," Celestia said softly. "I just don't want you to get hurt. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you again."

Luna took in a deep breath. "I—I see," she said. She turned her gaze from her older sister, and took a moment to glower at Twilight Sparkle. "In that case, I shall leave you and your student alone."

Luna walked out of the room, her head high in the air. She used her magic to slam the doors extra-hard behind her.

Twilight did not know what to say. She tentatively squeaked out, "Um...Princess?"

"My sister has been under a lot of stress lately," Celestia said. "The situation with King Sombra is...delicate."

"King Sombra?" Twilight asked. She pulled a few books out of her saddlebags and ferociously flipped through them. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I know who that is. It's not listed in any of my books."

"It wouldn't be," Celestia said, stepping towards a glass container holding a piece of crystal. "Tell me, have you heard of the Crystal Empire?"

---

Still slightly furious, Princess Luna threw open the front doors to the palace. Celestia's overprotective big sister routine had gotten old after the first millennium or two. Why couldn't Luna help the Crystal Empire? Why did they have to depend on lesser ponies to solve their problems?

Spike had been waiting for Twilight, outside the doors. He stood up when Luna appeared. "Oh, Princess Luna!" Spike said.

The Princess of the Night cast a glance at Spike. She instantly recognized him as Twilight Sparkle's dragon assistant. After all, how many dragons does a pony see on a daily basis?

"Good day," Luna said politely.

"Did Twilight pass her test?" Spike asked, anxiously.

"She has not yet been given her test," Luna said. Now that she was outside, she spread out her wings to their full width. "I apologize, young dragon, but I must go. I have a long journey ahead of me."

"Huh? Where are you going?" Spike asked.

"To the north," Luna said. "Far, far to the north." She flapped her wings and took off into the distance.

"Huh," Spike said, watching Luna go. "That was weird."

---

A few hours later, Princess Luna landed at the northernmost train station in all of Equestria. It was a rather bleak location, seemingly devoid of all life. Snow was packed on the ground as far as the eye could see, making one think that it went on forever. The air was completely still, and nopony was in sight, except for a white unicorn with dark gray gear.

"Princess Luna?" Shining Armor asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Hail, Nephew!" Princess Luna said, landing on the ground in front of Shining Armor. "We have come to assist thee!"

"A-assist me?" Shining Armor asked.

"Yea, lest the Empire of Crystal fall again into nothingness!" Luna said. "Thy princess shall aid in the noble quest!"

Shining Armor gulped. What are you supposed to say to your crazy in-law who insists on talking like someone out of a bad Flankspeare play?

"That's...good?" he ventured. "Uh...thanks a lot?"

Luna folded up her tired wings and shook her head slightly. "I take it that you never learned the Traditional Royal Greeting," she said, in a more normal voice.

"Uh, no," Shining Armor said. "Was I supposed to?"

Luna shrugged. "Now that you're a prince, it'd be good to know," she said. "I could also teach you the Royal Canterlot Voice, if you want. It's more useful than you'd imagine."

Shining Armor chuckled, remembering one time Luna had used the Royal Canterlot Voice on the cooking staff in the castle. "Maybe later," he said. "I'm actually here to pick up my sister and her friends."

"Ah, yes," Luna said. "I think they were delayed by a musical number, or something like that. I imagine they will arrive shortly. In the meantime, I'll go on ahead and see if I can help Cadance with anything."

"That would be perfect," Shining Armor said. "She's getting exhausted; I bet she'll be glad for your help."

Princess Luna took two steps away, then halted.

"Actually..." Luna said, turning back around to face Shining Armor. "This would be a good time for me to ask about Princess Cadance. I must admit, I do not know much about her."

"Huh?" Shining Armor asked.

"Celestia has not been forthcoming with details," Luna said. "I know Cadance is an honorary princess, but why? Where does she come from?"

"Oh," Shining Armor said. "I guess it makes sense you don't know that. I mean, you were gone for a long time, and Cadance doesn't like to talk about it..."

"Please tell me," Luna said.

"Cadance grew up in Canterlot," Shining Armor said. "She and I were in the same school together. She was actually one of the more popular mares in school, until she got her cutie mark."

"Her cutie mark is a heart, correct?" Luna asked. "Why would that alienate her from the other ponies?"

"Her wings appeared at the same time as her cutie mark," Shining Armor said. "It was a huge shock, having an alicorn appear out of nowhere like that. Some ponies thought it was all just a trick to get attention, so they started avoiding her."

Luna considered this new information and felt a pang of sorrow for Cadance. To get a cutie mark in love, only to have ponies hate you for it...what a cruel twist of fate.

"I tried to be nice to her when I could," Shining Armor said. "But we were in different classes, so I didn't see a lot of her. Then, she transferred to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and I never saw her again, until she started foal-sitting Twiley."

"I see," Luna said. Cadance switching schools seemed like more than just a coincidence to her. "And I suppose that is where she met Celestia?"

"Yes," Shining said. "From what I can tell, they became close friends. I mean, they must have been, if Celestia made her an honorary princess when she graduated."

Luna pondered this for a moment. "Thank you," she said at last. "I never would have guessed that is Cadance's story. I thought she was a result of one of Celestia's...indiscretions."

Shining Armor's eyes went wide. "Celestia doesn't—it's imposs—she can't—"

Luna laughed heartily, releasing the slight tension that had built up inside her after hearing that Cadance was a princess without a kingdom.

"It was a joke, Nephew!" Luna said. "Both Celestia and I are forbidden from taking spouses. One of the downsides to immortality, I'm afraid."

"Oh, thank Celestia," Shining Armor said. "Don't make jokes like that!"

Luna smiled. "I'm told that I'm the only pony in the kingdom who makes jokes about my sister," she said. "You're family now, so you'd better get used to it! In any case, fare thee well, Shining Armor. I fly."

With that, Princess Luna spread out her wings again and flew off to the northeast, rising on the soft winds which had begun to blow.

Comments

[52Hertz]

Love it. I usually prefer a dark and twisted Luna on the brink of complete self destruction, but a wry, humorous Luna without being out of character is a refreshing change. Very well written, and the joking mention of Celestia's indiscretions made me laugh.

[the king of hats]

perrty cool

[son_of_heaven176]

More people need to read this!
And I was LOLing at the mention of a "musical number."

[KvAT]

5738168
The bane of all world-saving efforts, truly