School of Hard Knocks

by flutterdashforever

Interlude

Hey there, just me, you know, the person who writes these. Anyway, I know you were probably expecting me at the end of this chapter but don't fret; I will be cropping up again later. The point of this forward is the tag I wish had been invented to stick on chapter that just don't make sense. I've used something like this before on the second chapter of A Strange Conundrum. The point I'm failing to say very succinctly is that this chapter is from Pinkie's perspective and, well, just be prepared for fourth wall shattering and general strangeness. If it will bother you too much then you can actually skip this chapter provided you read maybe just the last paragraph. I promise to start writing normally again on chapter seven. Hope you enjoy.

All was quiet in the small dark room. Pinkie Pie was asleep and dreaming of things that would make a physicist’s head spin right around. All that could be heard was her gentle breathing and the ‘tick, tock’ of a clock on the nightstand. Silence prevailed for a blessed while as, slowly, more seconds wound on to the spool of infinity.

All at once, the sleeping figure on the bed sat bolt upright. Pinkie Pie sniffed the air a few times. Something had changed, something big. After a few seconds of deep thought, she grinned. “Fuck yea!” Pinkie said, enthusiastically fist pumping. “POV shift, baby!” and with that despicable shattering of the fourth wall, Pinkie flopped back down on her bed, still grinning. Tomorrow was going to be fun.

---

A skip and a slide the passages wide as through the gates she hops,
A girl of pink hair and physique quite fair, keeps moving and nary stops
For Pinkie Pie, with glint in her eye, had got what she had craved,
A point of view shift, a promising lift, a chance to be badly behaved.

Pinkie Pie grinned as she skipped through the hallways of Omnas Mannis. She worked her way through the corridors, creating other various little ditties. They seemed to come naturally when she was in a good mood.

As she worked her way through the hallway, she noticed Derpy and Twilight, walking side by side, heading towards her. She smiled, there it was again, that strange feeling like butterflies in her stomach. It tended to happen whenever… she was around. Pinkie had been truly delighted to find that she actually had a crush on a girl.

“So then you add the oil to the water and stir until combined…” Derpy was saying, while thinking kissmekissmekissmekissmekissmekissmekissme

Whilst Twilight nodded and said, “I see, but what about…” while thinking, this is fascinating, she just doesn’t realise how many ground-breaking discoveries she’s made purely for the sake of making nice cupcakes, what an amazing girl, I wish she’d kiss me.

Pinkie had to grin at the different levels of sophistication in how these two were totally crushing on each other, but then she frowned. Of course she knew that there was a chance that they’d get together. She had helped in a not insignificant way, but she had to confess to jealousy. True, she hadn’t known the girl for long but she’d never felt this way before. Any boy or girl she had admired for their physical beauty before seemed on a completely different scale. Whenever she was around her, her heart rate would flutter and her breathing would feel a little constricted.

“Oh, hey there Pinkie, I was just telling Twilight here about a new recipe I wanted to try.”

“I still think you’re going to have trouble, I’m not entirely sure you’ve done the math right.”

Pinkie was getting used to the heart flutters by now. She turned to Twilight, “I wouldn’t question her if I were you, this girl can do things with muffins that you wouldn’t think possible.” She added to herself, seriously, you should see some of the fanart, that stuff is disturbed.

Derpy blushed a little. “I just like muffins…. Hey, Pinkie, have you seen Fluttershy?”

Pinkie snapped herself out of her momentary stupor. “Hm? Oh, no. Don’t worry, she’s probably off pashing Rainbow.”

Twilight tilted her head on one side. “Pashing?”

Pinkie giggled. “kissing, making out, sucking face, snogging, playing tonsil tennis, tongue tango, soul meets soul on lovers lips—”

“I think I get it,” Twilight cut in, blushing furiously.

Pinkie grinned wickedly. “I could do this all day.”

Derpy was biting in to the palm of her hand, shoulders shaking with supressed laughter.

Twilight smiled sheepishly. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Well, as lovely as it was enlightening you about the suave and swell joys of saliva sippy straw sucking and the salvation of salivation during a successful sensation of lips on lips causing celebration, although slightly more sedate when sober, and how it can be simple and sweet when sincere, I must depart, I have a lot of sense not to make.”

Although she knew it was a little crass, Twilight had to hand it to Pinkie for that sentence. Alliteration level; Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie smiled and skipped away again, humming a little tune and smiling to herself, probably at a hilarious joke that no one would ever understand.

---

The day passed slowly and without much ado,
Rainbow showed up for class but didn’t give a screw,
For her eyes were for one girl, and one girl alone,
Without fail, she gazed at Fluttershy, the seed had been sewn,
There was a spark between the girls, that most anyone could see,
And while she wasn’t staring, Dash was scribbling on her knee,
It was probably initials, or a heart and little arrow,
But she kept to her word not letting Fluttershy ever know,
Pinkie sighed a pain-filled sigh, in sympathy for her friend,
She knew what it was like to have a crush that had to end.

The bell rang, signifying the end of class for the day. Tomorrow would be another day and another opportunity but Pinkie knew that it wouldn’t be the same. She knew that tomorrow, the POV would shift back and she wouldn’t have another chance like this. She took a deep breath, it was now. She refused to think ‘now or never’ as, in her mind, she needed to believe that there was no ‘or’ about it; she was going to tell Derpy.

Pinkie straightened her back. Tummy in, tits out as my dear old mum would say. When Pinkie saw her intended, she walked up to her boldly. “Hey Derpy, can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure Pinkie, what’s up?”

Pinkie took another deep breath, it was time, she had admitted it to herself and now she had to admit it to Derpy. “Derpy… I… kind of… maybe… have a crush… on… Twilight.”

Ok, so I should probably explain this chapter: I haven't been feeling much up to writing lately so I figured this brief little interlude would just help me get in to the swing of it, also I thought this story could do with a lighter chapter before I continue. I hope you don't decide to walk away in disgust at how blatantly I broke the fourth wall here. Hope you enjoyed this chapter (or, alternately if you skipped it, that you don't feel too cheated)

Comments

[flutterdashforever]

1902984 I'mma take that as a complement seeing as that's kinda what I was going for. Which particular aspect of not-making-sense-ness are you doh-ing at?

[PrinceOfNigeria]

Great chapter, looking forward to the next one!

[flutterdashforever]

1904461 Why thank you.

[DianaWinters]

What you did was unforgivable.
I do not expect for it to happen again, kapish?

[flutterdashforever]

1904880 Which part of it was unforgivable? I don't know... if you mean the fourth wall breaches and rhyming verses then it probably won't...

[DianaWinters]

1904940 breaking the 4th wall

[flutterdashforever]

1904944 But I liiiiikkkeee breaking the fourth wall, it's fuuuuuuunnn.

[Rocfang50]

I liked the chapter and the breaking of the 4th wall. But now things are going to be complicated with the love triangle thing (but hopefully one with double ended arrows connecting all the edges instead of a single double arrow connecting Twilight and Derpy and a single arrow going form Pinkie to Twilight. Also meaning all three of them love each other instead of it ending in a single couple, because that will make my heart break if Pinkie or Derpy don't have Twilight). Hopefully that made sense.

[animeyasha66]

and the shipping war has began

[I AM CINNIMEN BUN]

Shit just hit the fan right there

[venomenlord]

....... I think my brain just exploded.

[AngieMarie985]

You didn't just break the fourth wall... You went through it like a wrecking ball. Amazing chapter, written in TRUE Pinkie Pie style. You even managed to capture her thought processes quite well, if I may say so.