Disguises
Laughter: that is when you truly see someone. You can be good friends with a person for years and never see them really laugh. There is something about the simple act of laughing that removes all trace of disguise.
It was once said that life is a stage and we all actors, but what of these actors? For an actor implies a character; a falsehood or pretence. What about when that mask slips? It’s only when you have seen that mask slip, and seen, not the character laugh, but the actor, that all pretence is gone, only then can you truly see the person standing there and not be caught up by this character they chose to play, no matter how much that character is influenced by them. No matter how much that actor may seem like their character, you will never know who they really are until you see them truly laugh. A laugh on stage occurs when an actor has a moment of realising the absurdity of what they’re doing. When a person sees the absurdity of life, all that person can do is laugh and hope that there will be a person present who sees, who understands and who will laugh right along with them.
This night was another bad one, Rainbow Dash lay on her bed, tossing back and forth, trying to find a position in which she could rest peacefully. This happened to her a lot, although it was happening more and more, lately. She would lie awake all night for no good reason. Her thoughts seemed to turn on her, attacking her consciousness. It was nights like these that she would squeeze the pillow around her head and whimper in to the softness like an infant. Rainbow hated being reduced to this and would never tell anyone of how she crumpled under the weight of her own mind, of memory and thought. She had told her mother she was having trouble sleeping but all her mother had to offer was that it was common among teenagers to go through bouts of extreme insomnia.
Rainbow flipped over and sat up. This was ridiculous, she reached over and picked up her phone. She opened the chat room she and Pinkie sometimes used and saw that Pinkie was online as well. This wasn’t uncommon but Pinkie never seemed to suffer from the lack of sleep, perhaps it was all the sugar that gave her the energy to bounce through her days without sleep.
“Hey Pinks, what are you doing still awake?” Rainbow had gotten very fast at typing on the small touch screen and, in fact, held the record for most words typed in a minute on touch phone, this achievement probably would have felt more impressive if it weren’t for the fact that Pinkie was the only other contestant.
“Uh, morning Dashie, I could ask you the same question.”
Rainbow smiled. “Ah, I’ll take it that means you are up early not late?”
“*Shrugs* what can I say? I like to get up early. Am I to take it that means you’ve pulled an all-nighter again?”
Rainbow’s smile was somewhat sheepish this time, although she was well aware that her friend couldn’t see her face. “Uh… kinda?”
“Tut, tut, you really need to stop doing this Dashie, it’s bad for your health.”
“Yea, yea, could you pontificate later? I need to ask you a favour.”
“My, my, Dashie, a ‘favour,’ at three o-clock in the morning? I could be there in about twenty minutes.”
Rainbow sighed but supposed that she had left herself open for that one. “Stop that. No, I mean something else; look I need some advice on Fluttershy, do you think you can help?”
“Uh, Dashie, last time I checked I was single, why on earth would you be asking me? I don’t know how to woo girls, that’s supposed to be your aria of expertise.”
“Oh, come on, you must have something.”
“Well, what do you want from her?”
“I don’t know, a kiss?”
“Careful, you’re beginning to sound like me. If you really want my advice then I’ll give it to you straight (no pun intended): work out what you want from her first, best case scenario; you ask her to be your girlfriend, what do you want from her? Do you want to strut around school holding hands? Do you want to be that cute couple always making out in the background? Do you want a completely secret relationship that no one will ever know about? Do you get what I’m saying here?”
“I think so, so what do I do when I work it out?”
“Talk to me again, but in the meantime; get some sleep, your typing is slow and you probably look like a wreck.”
“Yes boss.”
“Good, I’ve gotta run, there’s something muffin related that Derpy asked me to test out.”
“Why would she need you to test it? Can’t she test it herself?”
“For some reason she thought it was too dangerous for her kitchen, I’ll keep you posted, ciao.”
Rainbow tossed her phone on to her bedside table. …muffins… Was all she thought before, at last, sleep engulfed her.
Rainbow walked through the doors of Omnas Mannis, wondering for the thousandth time what the name of her school actually meant. It was probably something really boring but still, it would be kind of cool to know.
Rainbow wandered through the corridors, not really noticing the other students, she was on a mission, objective: find Fluttershy. This objective turned out to be a little harder than she had thought. Fluttershy was a small girl and seemed to try extra hard to be inconspicuous. At last, Rainbow found her intended who was currently engaged in the process of rummaging in her locker.
“Hey Fluttershy.”
“Eep.” Fluttershy flinched back and looked as though she had briefly considered trying to hide in to her locker.
Rainbow smiled, that had to be one of the cutest things she had seen in a long time. “Don’t freak out, I’m not going to eat you.” Rainbow Dash tried very hard, in that moment, to dispel a mental image of roast Fluttershy and was only partially successful.
“Rainbow Dash, you look awful, I mean, um, no offence, are-are you alright?”
Rainbow waved a hand in dismissal of Fluttershy’s concern. “I’m fine, trust me; I look better after I sleep.”
“You had trouble getting to sleep last night?”
Rainbow flashed a mischievous grin. “Trouble implies that I succeeded in the end. No, I couldn’t get to sleep last night, I ended up catching one hour at about five when I actually passed out from exhaustion.”
Fluttershy’s face clouded with concern. “Are you alright? Is something wrong?”
“Oh, I’m fine. How are you this morning?”
“O-oh, I’m fine, it took me a while to finish that homework.”
“Oh damn, I forgot we had homework. Yet another marvellous grade for my parents to be proud of.”
“Will you get in a lot of trouble?”
“Nah, my parents don’t really care how well I do.” She paused and when she next spoke her words contained a trace of bitterness. “Too busy fighting…”
Fluttershy didn’t know what to say to that so she said, as tactfully as she could, “Well that’s good at least, if I came home with anything less than Bs my parents would probably explode.”
Rainbow grinned. “You ought to try it sometime, only, if there’s going to be exploding parents, I’d like to be there to see it.”
Fluttershy gave a small smile. “We should probably head to class, you’re a bit late, class should be starting soon.”
Fluttershy headed off towards the classroom, a slight bounce to her step. She seemed happier. Rainbow smiled, it was nice to see her happy.
Class passed uneventfully, unlike Rainbow Dash, who failed miserably and got given detention.
When class ended and all the students were filing out, Rainbow chased after Fluttershy.
“Hey, you want to go for a walk?”
“Ok.”
The two set off for the oval. Most of the students liked to have lunch out in the fresh air. After finishing their meals, some would even go to work training in the flight aria or the magic corner. Rainbow was vaguely aware that there was even a gym, somewhere, with weights and exercise machines. She supposed these were for the students without wings or horns although, presumably, she was free to use them as well.
As they walked, Rainbow became aware of a different texture to the silence. She looked across at Fluttershy, who seemed to be deep in troubling thoughts.
“What’cha thinking about?” Rainbow asked, cheerfully.
“Hm?” Fluttershy looked up, as though awakened from a deep sleep.
“I asked what you were thinking about, you looked like you were a million miles away.”
“Oh…” A look crossed the girl’s face, as though she was carefully weighing up whether or not to say something. “It’s nothing.”
“Ok," said Rainbow. She didn't know how she knew but she just knew that if she waited, Fluttershy would elaborate.
More time passed in silence. At last, Fluttershy spoke. Her tone was measured and careful, as though she had carefully chosen each word. “When… when did you know?”
Rainbow shrugged. “You’ll have to be more specific.” She feigned ignorance although she suspected she knew what this was about.
“You know, that you’re… gay…” Fluttershy flushed and looked away.
Rainbow thought for a while. “I’ve always known.” This was her blanket response and one she had perfected long ago. It wasn’t true but it saved trouble.
“Really? You just always knew?” Fluttershy sounded so dejected.
Rainbow sighed. “No, not really, I just don’t like to go in to details.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t think… I just thought… since… you know… your outburst… I didn’t think you were sensitive… I’m really sorry.”
Rainbow couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t be, I’m not sensitive I just don’t particularly like talking about it.”
“Oh, ok.” Fluttershy looked away again, she looked like a puppy that had been given a harsh telling off. She just looked so sad and put out.
Rainbow sighed again; this girl could drag secrets out of her that she had sworn to take to the grave. “It started at a friend’s place, this being back in the good old days when I had more friends than you could poke a stick at. Anyway, I was at a sleep over, we had played all the fun games; pillow fights, spooky stories, truth or dare that kind of stuff. This was at the house of a girl called Daisy, she was my best friend before I met Pinkie. We went everywhere together. I had never been much in to guys but Daisy was always beside me.
“Anyway, so we’d run out of games and none of us were tired, so Daisy suggested we play spin the bottle. A few rounds passed and a few awkward kisses, I was kind of relieved, at the time, that it kept not landing on me. We had all kissed before, including me, but this was fairly strange as we were all girls.
“At last it was Daisy’s turn to spin the bottle again and it landed on me. I’ll never be able to fully explain how I felt in that moment but it seemed like time sped up and slowed down all at once. I can’t really remember either one of us moving but I do remember, to this day, what her lips felt like, how long it lasted, how warm…” Rainbow trailed off, staring back at the past with glazed eyes. “Like I said, I’d kissed guys before but it never felt like that.”
Fluttershy gave a half smile. “Then what happened?”
Rainbow shrugged “Not a lot; she pulled away and giggled, I nearly passed out and if it wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done to keep my head together in that moment then I don’t know what was. It felt like every nerve in my body was tingling with electricity.” Rainbow flashed her usual devilish grin. “It felt so wrong it felt so right, don’t mean I’m in love tonight, I kissed a girl and I liked it.”
Fluttershy gave a quiet laugh. “Did you have a crush on her? I mean… if you don’t mind telling me.”
“You know; I don’t think so, I don’t really know. We drifted apart anyways. I considered asking her out but it was still pretty strange and I didn’t really know what to think. In a way it seemed so right that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t worked it out before but on another level it was also really scary.”
“Did you tell your parents?”
“Yea, they were really cool about it, turns out mum’s bi anyway so she was really supportive.”
“Really?”
“Yea, I don’t know why anyone who was impartial would choose men but I guess that’s just a perspective thing really. I suppose I should be happy she chose to be with dad; otherwise I wouldn’t exist…” Rainbow grimaced. “Mind you…” She left the sentence hanging and Fluttershy didn’t press her. “Anyway, why do you ask?”
Fluttershy was silent for a while. When she spoke, it was only a mark of how hard Rainbow was listening that she even heard Fluttershy’s next words. “I tried to come out to my parents once…”
Rainbow tilted her head to one side. “When you say ‘tried’…”
Fluttershy just looked at the ground, scuffing the grass with a shoo.
“What happened? Were they mad?”
Fluttershy still didn’t make eye contact but she continued quietly. “They didn’t exactly get mad, well, they did, kind of. My dad told me that I shouldn’t say that kind of rubbish, that I was normal and I had just picked up this crazy idea from bad influence friends. They wouldn’t hear a word of it, they grounded me and told me that I wasn’t allowed out until I saw how stupid this all was. They don’t think that being gay is even possible; they think it’s just some sort of stupid new trend.”
Rainbow lowered her voice. “How long did it take for them to let you out?”
“Until I did what they told me to do; five days.”
Rainbow was silent for a moment. She was aware that this was a pretty big thing and wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed. “That… that really sucks.”
Fluttershy stopped and turned to face her. “You’re… you’re the only person I’ve ever told.”
Again, Rainbow felt as though she was losing control of the situation. She opened her mouth to say something but then Fluttershy was hugging her and sobbing in to her shoulder. All Rainbow could do was wrap an arm around the sobbing girl and hold her until the sobbing slowed.
“Are you ok?” In retrospect, Rainbow realised that this was a really stupid thing so say, of course she wasn’t ok.
“I, um, oh g-goodness… I’m-I’m sorry I just, um, I th-thought I had this under control, I’m so sorry , I didn’t mean, uh, I didn’t mean to break down like that I- oh goodness.”
Rainbow lay a finger across Fluttershy's lips, silencing her. “Relax, it’s alright. I probably wouldn’t be looking so good if my parents did something like that.”
Fluttershy only looked at the ground and scuffed her shoo against the grass some more.
“Why haven’t you told Derpy, though, I thought you guys were really close.”
“Oh, we are I just… I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t really want to talk about it, we don’t usually talk about this kind of thing. I guess I just wanted to tell you because I thought it was pretty cool when you came out in front of the entire class.” Fluttershy managed a watery smile.
Rainbow laughed lightly. “The class was nothing, my favourite part was Mister Johnson’s reaction.”
Fluttershy giggled, and then she was laughing and Rainbow was laughing as well. It was unclear who moved first but the two were suddenly hugging each other tight, laughing and heaving for breath. Sometimes it doesn’t take much for the mask to slip, but it always does.
Authors notes: First up; yes I know there is an actually authors notes section but I don't really like the way it looks so I'm going to keep just putting the authors notes like this. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, sorry it took so long but I've had a nasty case of writers block for ages. I hope you think it was worth the wait. Oh, also; the song Rainbow Dash quoted was "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry.
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keep it up
1860714 Will do.
It's "area" not "aria"
:p
Good chapter.
1861548 Thanks for pointing that out, where have I made that mistake?
1862867 every time you tried to sell "area"
You're forgiven for the little PinkieDash moment.
At the same time, I kind of feel bad for the PinkieDash shippers reading this, because that was a bit of a moment of "Oh, you like this pairing? Here's a little-HA! You don't get any! It's THIS pairing instead!" more than anything. But I see what were you trying to do. 
1864052 Wow, maybe I should add that to the list of things auto correct fixes.
1864287 I'm glad you liked it, I really enjoy writing Dash's confusion in all things relationship. I must admit I was kind of worried that I would get told off for having Rainbow's "This is how I found out that I'm gay" story be too much like her "This is how I know Cherry" story from IMBTFOLPO.
I'm glad you have seen fit to forgive me for the Pinkiedash start.
Hmmm, I hadn't looked at it that way... I know: ATTENTION ALL PINKIEDASH SHIPPERS, I would like to apologize officially for getting your hopes up and smashing them like a light-bulb hitting concrete at the speed of sound.
1864775 XD I don't know what you mean...but I see what you're trying to say.
XD It's all good!
It was nice of you to apologize. 8D And even so, on another hand, the cover kind of gives away what's going to happen, so I assume that PinkieDash shippers won't get their hopes up, especially since you do reveal in the description about the pairs. But regardless, good for you! It's just something I myself try to avoid, even when I mention what pairs will be present. 
It's pretty much why I used an OC for a relationship for Rainbow to have in "Perfect On Paper" since I would not be hurting any shippers. 
1864871 Yay, another chance to thank my wonderful cover artist.
Seriously, awsomest. Brony. EVER.
Hmmm, I can't really see Perfect On Paper working with any of the mane six. It might have worked with Spitfire if you kinda pushed the seriously-projecting-a-convenient-personality-on-an-existing-character thing, but on the whole I think it worked better with an OC anyway.
1864902 You're right about that! The kind of character I needed for Rainbow to play off of was somepony just like her. But also with that "new" smell to her, you know? You're right, none of the Main Six would have worked for that. Spitfire, yeah, maybe, but I also know that DashFire is pretty popular, so I didn't dare hurt the shippers of that. Either way, if I used a canon character, even a background character, I would be hurting SOME shippers. And I honestly didn't want to do that. Especially since it's a prevalent pairing, and then they break up for the pairing I want.
That seems assholish, doesn't it? I know a lot of writers do that and I can understand why! It works for their stories and they can do it well. But yeah, it has that stinging. Because what I do is that I think of it this way, by making it that I'M being teased with FlutterDash (or any other pair I like), and then it ends with another pairing and my favourite pairing breaking up? Exactly.
So, I knew it was a far better idea to create an OC. Someone who, yes, the audience will hopefully like, but also won't see as a huge loss when Rainbow breaks up with her.
Okay its a good story so far. Good writing, decent pacing and somewhat good characterization. I can imagine that these girls would be closer to this story should they really exist. But i do have a few gripes. Like pinkie dash kiss at the beginning. That was incredibly and definitely a pointless moment. And the reasoning for her intimate flirting seems weak. Like me and my good bud coop will do that too. That would be understandable. But why is pinkie kissing rainbow if shes straight? Because she wants to be gay? Who does that? Theres experimenting, i would've bought that, but seriously i doubt even pinkie would be sure shes gay straightest girl dash knows and then kisses other girls? I mean if she was curious i'd buy that but, shes straight as superflat world in minecraft, so her reasoning for kissing a girl when she knows shes straight is not only confusing, but serves zero development and purpose. The entire next chapter i found myself saying "If pinkie is straight why does she kiss dash like its a casual norm? Nofriends do that. Even if i wished i was gay even though i am straight i would not kiss my best friend coop because i want to be gay. Sexuality doesn't work like that. Other than that i like the story.
“It felt so wrong it felt so right, don’t mean I’m in love tonight, I kissed a girl and I liked it.”
you had to do it.
I'm glad I took Latin and I know what it means Omnes Mannis means all manner.
4186865
Yes it had to be done