Oh boy, it will be so ironic if now, due to another side effect, his sperm inside of Dash disappear before they reach the ovule, and Flutteshy is the one who got pregnant, due to her put the condom wrong, and accidentally break it. (Not to mention the whole, a condom is 97% safe and that was one of the unfortunately 3% error).
The member is duplicate, but we don't now witch one release the real sperm. Or if both have sperm, that both mares got pregnant, that can be become a interesting twist. That and that Shy is not completely over Feathers and actually this experience has make her want him even more when she try to play the moves to Big Mac.
1842764 You make some interesting suggestions I haven't thought of, but I already have an idea for what I will do. Originally I thought of Dashie being sterile, but I figured it was too so I scrapped it.
I know other writers gets over two hundred, but since this is my first clop it's a huge milestone for me and a awesome Christmas gift thanks to all my amazing readers and followers and thanks to Flutter derp for proofreading. Merry Christmas
Attention everyone, I am sad tosay this story is nearing its end and I'm working on the finishing chapter. I have gotten a lot of followers and faves and shown me an awesome amount of supportso I have decided to let you chose what I will do next. I have layed out a blog on my profile explaing it so head over there and place your suggestion there.
Ugh... I'm sorry, but the Fluttershy chapter... was not very good... I mean, it's just your timing was SO DAMN OFF!!! Seriously, everything just blended together, and it was hard to see which girl was sucking which dick! I realize that Rainbow Dash is a very brash, impulsive, and fast-paced character, but the fact that FLUTTERSHY acts this way is what ticks me off so much!!! I mean, I can see that you're trying to put as much of that shyness and insecurity in there as possible, but its pretty much destroyed when she TRIES TO SEDUCE HER BEST FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND!! That's no to say that this scenario couldn't have happened! I mean, you could have pulled it off much more smoothly if it had been that Rainbow Dash had sipped something into her drink and that this was just some drunken escapade, but no! Also, the fact that it degenerates to a threesome so quickly is definitely not a good move. I mean, you could have said that it took Rainbow Dash a few weeks to get over this (she IS the element of Loyalty, so this must be a low blow) and THEN have the threesome, that might have worked out better. Also, the double penis kind of threw me off, but I guess it was only a minor offense. That being said, I like the fact that the double-headed penis WASN'T the center of attention the whole time. I'm sorry, I hate gimmicks, particularly that one, so it was good that you didn't place too much emphasis on this one... I guess I also like how professionally Twilight handled the whole incident instead of jumping on for the ride (which BELIEVE me, has happened way too much with this kind of story). Another nice thing to see was the relationship between Rainbow Dash and Feather being one that's very sexually casual, but at the same time emotionally close! Not a lot of writers can make this dynamic work, and you managed to make it shine. Other than that, though, I have to rate the chapter REALLY low. I didn't read over the rest of the story too well, so that's my own fault, but I guess that's what I get for reading ahead in the story line. I guess I'd rate this chapter a 2.5 out of 10, at the highest... Again, this isn't my rating for the whole story, and the only reason I focused on this chapter is because I wanted to get the whole picture on the Fluttershy chapter of the trilogy... I really think you could do better, especially in the department of story telling! This is because you can make things subtle that really aren't normally all that subtle (again, the double-headed penis), which is important for writing! Also, I'm a die hard FlutterMac fan, so seeing Fluttershy in another thing was kind of like catching my younger sister cheat on her boyfriend, you know? I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't take me very seriously, but at least consider what I have to say. I'm not saying that you wouldn't but you know how other fanfic writers can get...
A last Christmas gift from me: the fourth chapter a week earlier enjoy
Why thank you, good Sir! It's been a pleasure reading this wonderful chapter!
Happy Holidays to you!
i demand sequel if this is end of story.
Huh so that's why I needed two this time... Thanks Twilight( you sick cam whore)
Oh boy, it will be so ironic if now, due to another side effect, his sperm inside of Dash disappear before they reach the ovule, and Flutteshy is the one who got pregnant, due to her put the condom wrong, and accidentally break it. (Not to mention the whole, a condom is 97% safe and that was one of the unfortunately 3% error).
The member is duplicate, but we don't now witch one release the real sperm. Or if both have sperm, that both mares got pregnant, that can be become a interesting twist. That and that Shy is not completely over Feathers and actually this experience has make her want him even more when she try to play the moves to Big Mac.
1842058 Trust me, a proper end will be made an I will reveal the relationship to all the mane six
1842764 You make some interesting suggestions I haven't thought of, but I already have an idea for what I will do. Originally I thought of Dashie being sterile, but I figured it was too so I scrapped it.
We reached a 100 likes!!
I know other writers gets over two hundred, but since this is my first clop it's a huge milestone for me and a awesome Christmas gift
thanks to all my amazing readers and followers and thanks to Flutter derp for proofreading. Merry Christmas
Attention everyone, I am sad tosay this story is nearing its end and I'm working on the finishing chapter. I have gotten a lot of followers and faves and shown me an awesome amount of supportso I have decided to let you chose what I will do next. I have layed out a blog on my profile explaing it so head over there and place your suggestion there.
Ugh... I'm sorry, but the Fluttershy chapter... was not very good... I mean, it's just your timing was SO DAMN OFF!!! Seriously, everything just blended together, and it was hard to see which girl was sucking which dick! I realize that Rainbow Dash is a very brash, impulsive, and fast-paced character, but the fact that FLUTTERSHY acts this way is what ticks me off so much!!! I mean, I can see that you're trying to put as much of that shyness and insecurity in there as possible, but its pretty much destroyed when she TRIES TO SEDUCE HER BEST FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND!! That's no to say that this scenario couldn't have happened! I mean, you could have pulled it off much more smoothly if it had been that Rainbow Dash had sipped something into her drink and that this was just some drunken escapade, but no! Also, the fact that it degenerates to a threesome so quickly is definitely not a good move. I mean, you could have said that it took Rainbow Dash a few weeks to get over this (she IS the element of Loyalty, so this must be a low blow) and THEN have the threesome, that might have worked out better. Also, the double penis kind of threw me off, but I guess it was only a minor offense.
That being said, I like the fact that the double-headed penis WASN'T the center of attention the whole time. I'm sorry, I hate gimmicks, particularly that one, so it was good that you didn't place too much emphasis on this one... I guess I also like how professionally Twilight handled the whole incident instead of jumping on for the ride (which BELIEVE me, has happened way too much with this kind of story). Another nice thing to see was the relationship between Rainbow Dash and Feather being one that's very sexually casual, but at the same time emotionally close! Not a lot of writers can make this dynamic work, and you managed to make it shine. Other than that, though, I have to rate the chapter REALLY low. I didn't read over the rest of the story too well, so that's my own fault, but I guess that's what I get for reading ahead in the story line. I guess I'd rate this chapter a 2.5 out of 10, at the highest... Again, this isn't my rating for the whole story, and the only reason I focused on this chapter is because I wanted to get the whole picture on the Fluttershy chapter of the trilogy... I really think you could do better, especially in the department of story telling! This is because you can make things subtle that really aren't normally all that subtle (again, the double-headed penis), which is important for writing! Also, I'm a die hard FlutterMac fan, so seeing Fluttershy in another thing was kind of like catching my younger sister cheat on her boyfriend, you know? I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't take me very seriously, but at least consider what I have to say. I'm not saying that you wouldn't but you know how other fanfic writers can get...
Double Dicks. XD