Gods and Fishing Lines

by Dancing Question

Nobody expects a transdimensional fishing line!

I woke up in a circular room that was made of a mixture of wood and stone. The black electrical cord in my hand was now a silver cord that was coming out of a point in midair. There was plenty of slack, and I could move about normally, but the implications of this are a very legitimate question if this is anything like the astral plane. When I looked around, I saw large amounts of machinery covered in lights that wouldn't be out of place on Christmas trees. It looked suspiciously like SCIENCE equipment.

There are two kinds of science, science, and SCIENCE. When I say science, I mean the kind of science that has things like control groups, consideration for the lives of their test subjects, and equipment that makes sense. SCIENCE is about throwing science at the wall and seeing what sticks. SCIENCE is about replacing peoples blood with gasoline simply because you can. SCIENCE is locking someone in a room filled with deadly lasers and seeing how they react when locked in a room filled with deadly lasers. SCIENCE equipment does a lot of unnecessary beeping and tends to be covered in lights that are just as unnecessary. Either that or it looks like it was designed by Apple, but that's a whole other can of worms. Waking up in a science lab is bad, but I'd be surprised if anyone ever found themselves waking up in one after being taken against their will. Waking up in a SCIENCE lab after being taken against your will is a more likely scenario, and it should be treated as slightly less bad than waking up plastic wrapped to a table.

After I looked around me, I tried looking up. There was one exit on top of a stone overlook that really needed a railing. Naturally, I tried heading for the stairs. It was then that I found out I forgot to look down. I smacked into an invisible wall that drew my attention to the glowing purple double-layered circle filled with runes and the discrepancy between the floor inside and outside of the circle. For some reason, the floor inside the circle was part of the stone stairs from the university while the floor outside the circle is made of wood. Why would stone stairs get taken here with me?

Seriously, why would anyone abduct stairs?

There was no way of getting my hand outside the inner layer of the circle, and no way around the implications of this fact. This was the table, and a spellcaster summoned me here like a denizen of the lower planes. What kind of magic user summons humans as though they were demons? Odds are high whoever or whatever summoned me is looking to make a deal with whatever their analogue to the devil is if the circle is any indication. They're certainly in for a disappointment, and if that circle is capable of delivering electric shocks, I'm probably going to die.

I'm Garrett. I was a typical computer science student with a typical penchant for science fiction and fantasy literature until recently. My workload has grown beyond my ability to manage. My study patterns are losing their effectiveness, and I've been failing more things than I ever thought possible. I'm in a dangerous situation there, and if I can't find a way out of it, I can kiss continuing to be able to afford college goodbye. I had been a Karateka since high school, I enjoyed it tremendously, and I was hoping to ascend further through my dojo's ranks. I had to quit to make my workload manageable. I went dark on my lines of communication with almost everyone I knew, including my former sparring partners, one of whom I liked talking to. I'm horribly disgusted by the fact that I haven't practiced in weeks right now, but it was entirely necessary to manage my assignments. I barely talk to anyone at the university either, and because I've gone dark from social networking services, one could say I became a ghost to preserve my academic standing.

Despite cutting all the biggest time sinks I could think of from my life, I found new time sinks without even trying. There were massive amounts of fanfiction written for my books. There was an entire wiki of plot devices in fiction to explore. When I finally downloaded Skyrim, I realized I was amusing myself to death. I sacrificed virtually everything on the altar of academia, and it still didn't seem to be enough. I have no idea what I'm going to do if I can't bring my grades out of this hole, and get my wandering mind back under control.

I began hyperventilating before I started a breathing kata to get rid of those annoying emo thoughts. It wasn't much of an improvement, given I was experiencing the arcane equivalent of being on a serial killer's table, but the tingling sensation they leave in your nose is just awesome.

Now, 6 days before I got here, something weird started happening. A case of stupidity so monumental it began to pique my curiosity. Someone left their smartphone unattended and plugged into an outlet on the outside of a building I pass by when going to my first class. Compounding his stupidity, the moron left it on stairs made out of stone, making it extremely likely the smartphone would melt. The first time I saw it, I thought little of it, just walking by and assuming it would be picked up the next time I passed by. When I passed by again, it was still there. When I went home and came back the next day, the phone was still plugged into the building in the same place. What kind of moron would do something that stupid? Still though, I just walked by.

When I saw it was still plugged in after leaving on the second day and coming back on the third day, I got really curious, especially because the phone didn't melt yet. I don't have a smartphone, but I'm considering getting one, so these are extremely relevant questions. What kind of smartphone is terrible enough to leave unattended for two days straight? Also, what kind of phone can survive two days of being left on a stone staircase? I had to know what kind of phone it was, because a touchscreen and a button arrangement is not sufficient information for someone who doesn't know phones.

I needed to find a way to discreetly look at the other side of the phone in the event this was some kind of elaborate trap. For the next two days, I altered my travel patterns to pass by that building extremely often, paying attention to when there weren't a lot of people there. I finally worked out an opportunity to find out what kind of phone it was on the sixth day. I looked around most of the area near the building, checking every conceivable line of sight to the phone. Nobody seemed to be watching, so I crouched down on the stairs to look at the other side of the phone after setting my backpack down. When I picked up the wayward smartphone, it fused with my hand, making it look like a black electrical cord was coming out of it. I quickly looked around, and nobody saw as the cord shrank, pulling me through a solid wall like a fish on a hook. I guess it was an elaborate trap, but nobody expects the transdimensional fishing line.

So here I am, trapped in an unknown mage's summoning circle. Nobody would hear about what's happening to me and take it seriously. Anyone with an ounce of sense would never speak of something like this if they made their way home, and anyone without sense would be thought of as mad. I could never speak of this to anyone and be taken seriously.

The door just opened, what looked like an extremely dishevelled looking purple unicorn stepped onto the overlook. Given the way it opened the door and was heading down the stairs, it looks like I just got summoned by a purple unicorn. It would be foolish to ponder the point where I began what's likely a hallucination, but there may be an epiphany to be had here if whatever means of communication this unicorn uses doesn't induce insanity upon exposure. Oh well, time to find out what this summoner wants.

Comments

[Samusbot]

Nobody expects the Spanish (Transdimentional Fishing Line) Inquisition!

[ponyaddict]

An inventive insertion into Equestria, bravo good sir.

[fyre-byrd]

SCIENCE is about replacing peoples blood with gasoline simply because you can.

It's also about making life take the lemons back, no?