Not bad but could use some work with the grammar and the punctuation. My story isn't a master piece either but there is always room for improvement. Keep it up!
2047996 TY TY so mech i needed hlep with my spelling so mech. and yes i would love if you can hlep eaithing. and i'll add you name to the story as for hleping more.
I'll fave the story so I can advertise it on my page so you can possibly get more views
Edit: I unFavorited for now until the next update (I'll still keep it bookmarked for future chapter updates but I don't want to really keep it favorited until then)
Day 5 12:16PM Ever since 3 days ago that last news report was now not doing not any good for the ponies in the apple farms morale, seeing theretheir police officers, and the Luna and Celestia army wasbeing killed at the wall of cars and they were armed to the bones, only to see them getting eaten alive by the zomponies. As of right now the main 6 waswere in the apple family house. Twilight was keeping inventory of their supplies. Rarity was in the basement making armor for them and the ponies inside the fort. AJ was trying her best to keep Fluttershy in an ok mood she was rocking back and forth and keep and saying over and over” their they're going to get us all. “ Pinkie pie was not doing as well her mane was flat and she was having a hangover after drinking nine-teen beers the cans were littered on the floor. 6:16PM It was time to eat dinner as the main 6 did Twilight decided to speak up. “ Hey girls I’ve got something to say about rescuing the kids. “ All of them turn their heads to look at her. “ We can start traveling to Manehattan tomorrow and it canwill take a 3 weeks to get there. If however we don’t stop for food or water so it meanstit will takeing us 5 weeks to get there, But order to do so we need to find more power crystal, we only findfound enough for 5 days. Rainbow just now remembered something on how to fix all of this and yelled “ Wait what about the Elements Of Harmony?! “ “ Ya, Can’t we just use them to fix this Twi? “ Twilight head looked their way and a tear comecame out of her eye. “ Twi is there something wrong? “ “ If only that was true... “ All 5 of them look at her with wide eyes “ Spike show them the email I got 2 days ago. “ Spike walks to the table and pulls out an old laptop that havehas ponydows xp on it and placed it in front of them all. He opens up a file showing the Element Of Harmony in broken pieces “ What in tarnation?! What happened to it! “ AJ yell out. “ I don’t know girls, But she says that it just broke when she picked it up. She also shesaid this may not be magic at all. I'mam sorry girls. “
there I'm done. if you want you could pm me future chapters and I can fix them before you post them, or I can keep doing it like this
1685147 i update it
Not bad but could use some work with the grammar and the punctuation. My story isn't a master piece either but there is always room for improvement. Keep it up!
1978758 thx for the comment
(emptied this comment because at it's time it took up half the page)
2047996 TY TY so mech i needed hlep with my spelling so mech. and yes i would love if you can hlep eaithing. and i'll add you name to the story as for hleping more.
2048023
it wasn't much trouble I proof read that chapter in five minutes and besides I have to much free time
Edit: I'm guessing you found a new proofreader, I don't care if you did or not I was a terrible one anyway.
I'll fave the story so I can advertise it on my page so you can possibly get more views
Edit: I unFavorited for now until the next update
(I'll still keep it bookmarked for future chapter updates but I don't want to really keep it favorited until then)
2048216 thx a whoe alot, i been meaning to update but been too busy.
2048242 it's all right and besides most authors like you always have long delays just to make sure every chapter is good
have a couple mustaches
2048254 ty.
2048262 media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkzjfn6Hep1qbsn7d.jpg
there I'm done. if you want you could pm me future chapters and I can fix them before you post them, or I can keep doing it like this
2881552 Hey this was my 1st fic ok