The (humanized) mane six must embark on a quest to stop the infamous crime lord, 'King Sombra'. All for their own purposes. And they'll stop at nothing to kill him.
You're definitely improving. There were a couple of grammar issues this chapter, specifically where sometimes you forget to add a new line to each speaker, or forget that an action in response to dialogue is just as much in need of a new line.
Also, some of your character interaction feels a bit wooden. Most of it's fine, but there are times when I scratched my head and shrugged at some of the odd actions and reactions.
Also, I thought you were putting this in hiatus or something.
You're definitely improving. There were a couple of grammar issues this chapter, specifically where sometimes you forget to add a new line to each speaker, or forget that an action in response to dialogue is just as much in need of a new line.
Also, some of your character interaction feels a bit wooden. Most of it's fine, but there are times when I scratched my head and shrugged at some of the odd actions and reactions.
Also, I thought you were putting this in hiatus or something.
2127313 I appreciate the feed back. I'm actually working on the other story now. I really just got a bit bored of that story and continued this one.