"Twily!"
Shining was eagerly awaiting the return of his family, and as soon as he heard the door, he cantered to them.
"Twily, how'd it go?"
Twilight reared up on her back hooves to wave her front ones in the air. "I did it, I did it!"
Her brother repeated the gesture with as much enthusiasm as the purple filly, and as the two jumped around and made loud exclamations towards one another, Night Light and Velvet Twilight sidled out of the sibling celebration and into the kitchen.
Velvet headed straight for the half-bottle of wine they had chilling in the fridge. The couple weren't big drinkers, but this was, of course, a special occasion.
She poured a glass for herself and one for her husband before raising the drink to her lips with her magic and downing the whole glass in one gulp.
"Velvet, honeyhooves. I think we should discuss this."
"There's nothing to discuss, Nigh. Our youngest foal was accepted into a brilliant school. It's time to celebrate. She didn't use her hooves to fill her glass, using her magic to pour it while the glass was still in front of her face.
Night Light approached cautiously, pushing the alcohol gently away from his wife's mouth.
"It's okay. We're okay."
Velvet looked at her husband, horrified. "You think I'm so selfish as to only be worrying about myself?"
Night shook his head, wondering how he could ever have thought that of his wife.
"Twilight's all right." He opened up for a hug, which Velvet gratefully accepted. "Our princess, the powerful Celestia will teach our little filly everything she knows. Twilight will definitely be fine," he whispered into her mane.
Velvet Twilight finally let the tears slide from her eyes. "She was in so much pain. My little pony. My foal."
"Shh..." Night rubbed Velvet's back.
"Mother? Father?"
The two ponies leapt apart as Shining Armor walked into the room.
"What's wrong?" He approached his parents cautiously.
"N-nothing's wrong," Velvet sniffed.
Night Light approached his colt and ruffled his mane. "Your mother is just so overwhelmed with the day. We're so proud of Twilight."
Shining pushed his father's hoof away with a frustrated sigh, then glanced over at the kitchen counter and the two full glasses of wine. "Are you sure?"
Velvet nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. When she was gone, she rushed to her colt to give him a hug, the tears threatening once more. "We're so proud of you too, Shining Armor. My big, strong colt. You always protect your sister, okay?"
Confused, Shining tried to pull away from his emotional mother. When she showed no signs of letting him go, he surrendered himself to the hug.
"Always, mother."
He let go, but she didn't, and so Shining looked pleadingly to his father. "Can I ... go now?" he asked.
"Oh!" Velvet finally let go, looking less upset, too.
Shining backed away slowly. "I'll ... uh ... be sure to let Twily know how proud I am of her, too. She said there was something else to tell me, but she wanted to be theatrical." He stopped moving and shook his head. "Though I don't know what that filly can add to the list of getting into the School for Gifted Unicorns and getting her cutie mark in one day."
Night Light and Velvet Sparkle smiled at one another as their colt ran out the door.
---
"Shining? Shining Armor?"
Shining was lounging around, reading a book for his training course. He heard his mother's quiet voice calling out to him.
He made his way into the kitchen, slightly irritated at being interrupted.
"Yes, mother?"
"Can you go upstairs and get your father and sister? Dinner's ready."
Shining looked at his mother, confused.
"Don't we usually just yell to get them down? Do you have a sore throat, I can call–"
Shining turned to call up the stairs, but his mother's hoof over his mouth stopped him. Now he was really confused.
"No, no," she said, laughing nervously. "I can go if you don't want to."
"But ... it's what we always do."
"Never mind!" His mother's voice had a sing-song quality that he'd never heard before. She was hiding something.
Shining opened his mouth to say as much, but she interrupted him again.
"Twilight Sparkle has had a big day, Shining. And your father has, too. I don't want to startle her-them if they're resting."
Shining frowned. His mother's behaviour was strange for the second time that day.
"I'll just ... go get them." He backed out of the kitchen and made his way up the stairs quickly.
After going to his parents' room and calling softly to his father, Shining checked Twilight's room. Of course she wasn't there. The little foal had to be studying. After all, she had a big day tomorrow. Training with Princess Celestia herself!
The colt smiled to himself at the thought. Who knew his little sister was so amazing? He'd have to do something similarly awesome with his life and career to match up with her achievements, lest he be left behind.
At the study door he knocked quietly. "Twily?" he asked.
Twilight lifted her head from her book instantly, as she always did for her big brother.
"Hi," she said, grinning at him. He didn't think she'd ever lose the smile that she gained from her incredible day. She waggled her cutie mark in his direction and winked. "Come to see my cutie mark again?"
"No, Twily. It's dinner time."
Rather than moving back out the door, he stepped further into the room.
"Was there something else that happened today, Twily?"
His question was met with a frown. "Those three things weren't enough? What else could have happened."
"I don't know." Shining paused to lean on the desk beside his sister. "But Mother and Father are acting ... a bit strange. Have you noticed?"
Twilight waved a hoof in his direction. "They're just proud. It was a big day."
"Yeah ... for all of us." Shining couldn't shake the feeling that something more was going on, but he shook it off and smiled at his sister. "Come on, time for dinner. I'll race you down. See if you can add 'beating your brother in a race' to your achievements for today."
1479267
This shouldn't be the reaction I have to errors, but I laughed.
At least there weren't too many. Lol.
Thanks for the comment. It's nice to see words that say people are liking this, and corrections always show people are paying attention.
1479314 Heheh, "words that say people are liking this". I can read between the lines just fine. Sorry, but I have a well-defined threshold for thumb-ups, and your story isn't quite there... yet. Please don't take it personally.
More suggestions:
Ch5:
"She had been warned that this was the first morning her foalsitter would be around" -> The "she" here is ambiguous and I first parsed it as being Cadance. Just replace it with "Twilight"; don't worry, you're not repeating her name too often.
"Cadance sneak into the study and surprise Twilight" -> missing "would".
"Why was she sharing it with him." -> Question mark?
Also, I may just be thick, but I had to re-read the part with Cadance meeting Shining to realise they were outside. I recommend you just throw the word "outside" somewhere in there to make it clear.
Also, the last part could be helped by describing their expressions a bit more. I can't tell if Cadance is smiling or playing it cool or frowning in mock-anger.
Ch6:
"We want you to play with your friends, and you can't go to the school without having fillies to keep you here, too." -> I'm probably being thick again, but I can't figure out what this sentence means.
"They had stared in surprised for less than a minute" -> "surprise"
"from the princess who rose the sun and moon" -> "raised"
Ch7:
"in all it's purple-speckled ... egg-ness" -> "its"
"Lot's to do" -> "Lots"
Ch8:
""Twilight will definitely be fine," -> Stray opening quote.
"Shining turned to all up the stairs" -> "call"
"And your father has, too."" - Stray closing quote.
1479496
Heh. For the record, I was totally implying the opposite of what you thought I was
I like comments better than upvotes. Writing something is way more personal than clicking a button.
ooooooooooh, I think I know why she's strange. She's afraid that Twilight will get angry at some point, her magic will get out of control, and she'll destroy something or even hurt them.
Wow!
This chapter has some strong connection to a story of my own.
1479496
I feel I might've made the same type of mistakes if this was my story because I didn't even realize that there were any grammar errors XD also if you want can you send me story suggestions I'm running out of reading material (sorry if this was abrupt but you seem like you know some good stories)
8598262
Hello