Spike’s eyes fluttered open as he came into consciousness. Glancing around the library, he quickly noted something was... different. He wasn’t in his bed. Instead, he was splayed across the floor at the bottom of the stairs.
Flashbacks of a party that everypony threw together played through his head. He giggled to himself as he remembered a certain pink pony getting sick and needing to go to the hospital, where they diagnosed her with diabetes from constantly eating sugary treats. In a similar way that Spike ate gems for energy, she was using her sweets as a sort of life source.
Letting out a short chuckle, Spike stood and balanced himself, then staggered towards the bathroom. Before he passed through the door, he hit his head on the low-hanging part of the ceiling.
“Ow!” Spike exclaimed, reeling back and rubbing his head. “What in the...?” he started as he ducked through the door. He turned to look in the mirror, and froze in place. Staring back at him was a tall, lanky dragon of purple and green. Almost taking this as a new arrival, Spike nervously greeted the ‘other’ dragon with a quick, “Oh, hello.” He waved. The other dragon waved. Confused, Spike lowered his hand and took a step closer. The other dragon mimicked his move. It was about then that it struck him.
That’s not another dragon. That’s me! With a startled look, Spike looked over himself. He’d made quite a growth spurt, expecting that it had occurred overnight as that was the only way it could make sense. He thought briefly why he may have had this sudden growth spurt, but his mind could only fall to two conclusions. One, he had become a greedy monster overnight.. for the second time. Two, there was something wrong with him.
Figuring that, since he had no craving for material objects, there must have been something wrong with him, he began to panic. He called up the stairs, “Twilight! I need you to come down here! I think there’s something wrong with me!” Almost immediately there was a reaction. Shuffling could be heard coming from the second-story bedroom, with various objects bumping around and hoofsteps rushing towards the door.
“I’ll be right there!” Twilight shouted from behind the door, which became enveloped in a sparkling aura and flew open. Without really looking, Twilight charged down the stairs and surveyed the room, almost immediately laying her eyes on Spike. She looked him over, at first seeming confused, then frightened, but then intrigued.
“Uh, Twi? Are you alright? You’re sorta acting like you’re investigating the whole ‘Pinkie Sense’ ordeal again.” Spike said, a tone of concern in his voice.
Finally finding her own, Twilight responded, “Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m just... shocked. I didn’t think your growth spurt would happen this soon.. I thought we’d have at least a good year before you grew.” Twilight levitated a quill and parchment from a nearby table, and then began furiously scrawling notes onto it.
Twilight’s words caught Spike off-guard. He took an inquisitive look and asked, “Wait, you knew this was going to happen, and didn’t bother telling me? You know, you could have at least warned me that this was going to happen, and before it actually did!” He growled at Twilight. Upon seeing this hostile action, Twilight cowered in fear behind her notes as though she were Fluttershy.
Realizing his mistake, Spike relaxed himself and said, “Oh, uh, Sorry, Twi. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that...” He looked away and rubbed the back of his head as Twilight calmed down.
“That..That’s okay, Spike. I really should have told you before this happened.” She set her notes down, then walked up to Spike and placed a reassuring hoof on his shoulder, which caused him to turn back towards her. “I’m just a bit worried now, though. If you are becoming a monster again, then there won’t be any way we’ll be able to stop you. We got lucky enough the first time.” She took her hoof off his shoulder and went back to her notes.
“Well, how could I become a monster again, anyhow? It’s not like I’ve been receiving any gifts lately,” Spike defended his position, shrugging slightly.
“It doesn’t necessarily have to be getting gifts, Spike.” Twilight said with a short sigh, “It could just be giving and wanting something in return. Regardless of what you give, you’d probably want something more valuable than the thing you gave... I think. I’m going to write a letter to the Princess about this, Spike. Just make sure nopony else sees you, or you might have another mob of ponies to deal with.” She then proceeded to walk into another room, likely to write the letter.
“Well, okay, but-“ Spike was interrupted by the turning of a doorknob behind him. He froze in place from a shot of panic, as he knew nopony was scheduled to arrive at the library... all aside from their friends.
He bolted up the stairs so fast that, had a certain Technicolor Pegasus mare been there, he probably would have gotten a compliment. He raced into the upstairs bedroom and closed the door most of the way, but kept it cracked open so he could observe the situation.
Familiar voices rang in his ears as Pinkie Pie entered the library, accompanied by other hoofsteps. From his perspective, however, Spike couldn’t tell who else was there. “Twilight? Twilie? Twi?” Pinkie called out, then proceeding to call Twilight in different languages.
“Pinkie, would you stop that? We’re here for Twilight, not some ‘say your friend’s name in a thousand languages’ contest. Besides, I’ll bet Spike knows where she i-“ Rainbow Dash stopped mid-sentence. She was pointing a hoof to where Spike would ordinarily be at this time of the day, but only saw an empty piece of floor. “Huh. Anypony seen Spike?” She asked, looking about the room, “He’s not where he’s usually working around now.”
Glancing around, Fluttershy noticed that Spike wasn’t on the ground floor at all. A look of concern washed over her as she said, “Oh my, I hope poor little Spikey isn’t sick.” She took to her wings and flew to the second floor.
Thankfully, Spike was prepared for this. He darted out the window and hid beneath the flowers like he had seen in so many action films. As the girls entered the room, they all looked around, but found no evidence of either Twilight or Spike.
“Well, I guess they aren’t here,” Rainbow Dash said, “Must be royal business or something. I’m sure that only ‘eggheads’ like Twilight and Spike would get it.” On this note, they all turned to leave.
A wicked grin spread across Spike’s face as he realized this would be the perfect opportunity to pull a prank on Rainbow. He quickly climbed down the building and stood just above the doorframe that lead outside, then waited. He tensed his wings as the doorknob tur- Wait, I have wings? Spike thought curiously to himself as he looked to his back, where he spotted a pair of finely-sized purple wings. Cool! he thought in silence as the door opened, then averting his attention to the mares exiting the building. As Rainbow Dash exited, he opened his wings wide and cast a shadow over her.
He expected her to turn around with a look of terror over her face, but her reaction was quite different. The first thing he registered after her wheeling about was a hoof connecting with his face. The next thing he felt was him getting yanked by the tail and slammed into the ground, then thrown into the air where he casually landed on a cloud. A chromatic Pegasus flew to him and stood over where he lay, accusingly asking, “Who are you?! Why were you trying to hurt me?!”
Before he could answer, two more hooves connected with his face and stomach. “Ugh...” was all he muttered out as he attempted to regain his wits.
“There’ll be more where that came from if I don’t get an answer right now!” Rainbow Dash roared at him, winding up for another kick.
Spike was completely sure he had some broken ribs by now. His left eye was partially swollen and both his nostrils were bleeding. Through blurred vision, he saw Rainbow rearing up for another kick, so he put out a claw defensively in front of him. “Rainbow, wait! It *cough*.. It’s me..!” He started, but Rainbow Dash interjected.
“I don’t know who you are, since I’m pretty sure the only Dragon I know is Spike, and he’s Twilight’s assistant.” She faltered for a moment, saying, “Y’know, I kinda think he’s cute. If he was a bit taller and older, maybe about your size, then I’d hit it.” She took on another aggressive look and shouted, “But don’t tell Spike that. Or Twilight!”
“Heh...” Spike said, coughing up a little blood. “I’m sure there’s no reason to worry. I think he already knows.”
Rainbow Dash looked confused for a moment, before she looked over the Dragon before her, saying, “Well, what makes you say tha-“ It struck her like a Frisbee. This Dragon WAS Spike! She put a hoof over her mouth in realization before letting them back down. “Spike?”
“The one and only.”
“Oh. My. Gosh! How did I not realize it was you? Sheesh, what spell did Twilight put on you this time?” She asked, blushing from realizing she said she’s probably date Spike had he been older and taller. Well, now he was older and taller, and she was finding him mildly attractive.
“It wasn’t a spell,” Spike started, coughing a couple more times and holding a clawed hand over his side. “I hit a growth spurt a little early. Heh... did you really mean what you said earlier?”
Rainbow Dash blushed hard, but that quickly faded when she noticed how bruised and beaten he was. “Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry, Spike! I didn’t hurt you that badly, did I?” Genuine concern flooded into her voice as she took a step towards him, but stopped herself. She wasn’t sure what she should do, or even could do.
“No, it’s..” Spike’s breathing began to slow. “It’s okay. I’ll be.. ngh.. fine. I’m just a little... tired, is all...” Spike yawned, suddenly finding it difficult to hold his eyes open. His breathing slowed further as he muttered, “I just gotta.. take a nap, is all...”
His breathing slowed down almost to the point of stopping.
Realizing she had injured Spike greatly, Rainbow knelt at his side and shook his shoulders, shouting, “No! Spike! Stay with me, buddy! Stay awake! I, uh.. I meant it! All of what I said before! I meant every word!”
Spike’s eyes slowly flickered shut as he faded from consciousness. “No! Stay awake!” she shouted, tears streaming down her face as she watched the life drain away from Spike. She held him halfway up with her hooves, shouting at him to stay awake and that everything would be fine as dripping tears rolled off his scales. His eyes closed, possibly for the last time.
---------------------------------------------
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you enjoyed this rewritten chapter! More to come soon!
A/N 2: Fluttershy's color is temporarily orange, or permanently orange if no orange-colored ponies invade the story.
Holy crap, you even made each sentence that was spoken a different color. 5/5 stars, would read again
1429714
Why, thank you!
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-aww-thanks-fluttershy.jpg
1429726
I am pretty awesome
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Like it, but to be honest, its kinda hard to read the yellow, but hey, I can live
I sure wish that the person who disliked my story would tell me why.
It'd be nice to know what I could improve upon.
Can you stop with changing the colors when they think or talk it's really hard to read but hey it still a good story
1430241
Sorry, but I do that to differentiate between speakers easier.
That's not gonna change.
Hey, good job on this one. Seems like a crack concept, but pretty awesome all the same. Seconding on the yellow text, but so long as Fluttershy doesn't make any speeches, it's a minor complaint. I do love the different colours for different speakers though, it helps me tell at a glance who it is speaking, even if the line isn't attributed to anyone, a major complaint of mine (when you can't tell who just said that line, because it could have come from anyone in the conversation). Keep up the good work, don't let it go to shit and all that... Loving the facial beams though, brings back memories of a certain boring stoner Stu... Yangus? A Choice of Love or some crap like that? Meh, anyway, good job.
1430596
Thanks! I love all the positive feedback I'm getting!
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Also, I think I could probably do something about that yellow. Maybe I'll make it orange for convenience?
But... what would I do if I had to introduce another orange pony?
1430612
I could probably nitpick, but it's not the kind of fic that makes me angry enough to go full potato and write an enormous wall of ranting. Formatted well, grammar is good, characters seem IC. Interesting concept. Some of the sentences seem a bit awkward, and don't flow amazingly well, but I only notice that because I'm an obsessive reader... I can't spot stuff like that in my own stories worth crap, trust me. It's probably something you'll get a knack for the more you write, but I'm too lazy to find out, so far. I wish you luck on that front nonetheless .
1430649
Again, thanks for the positive feedback and critiquing!
I'll try to work on sentence flow in the future, and it'll probably get easier from here. That was the only chapter I really needed to rewrite/convert from the original story, so it ought to be significantly smoother from here on out!
Definitely watching this. Good luck.
1430733
^ Original story writer, everypony, just in case you didn't read the description.
Also, thanks.
Wait...
1430596
Something in my story reminds you of this?
I sincerely hope you're either joking or remembering something good, because I don't want my story to remind others of something horrible!
Just read first chapter, way better than original. I might stop writing stories and just give out ideas for good ones. But first, I must finish 'Fallen Stars'
Geez, man. You've got me scared for Spike's life here! But I know he can't die, he has to experience the hypnotic face lasers.
1430796
Sure he does... FOR ALL YOU KNOW!!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b6/Dramatic_Chipmunk.png/220px-Dramatic_Chipmunk.png
I might just change the story specifically for the purpose of trolling you.
Just for that reason.
Of course I wouldn't do that. I'm not that much of a parasprite.
1430774
Naw, I made a comment on it about hypnotic face lasers, those exact words I believe... it made me nostalgic, that's all. Nothing about the fic itself, but its comments page on the other hand...
1430839
Phew!
For a second there, I thought you were going to mistake me for a raving madman!
...
wait...
That'd be correct.
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What's that?
Out of control comments? There is no such thing.
1430488 The try to keep them the same size easier to read that way
1430915
Eeh, nope.
That's also something that's gonna be staying. It's just in my style.
1430839
You posted about 'hypnotic face lasers' on this story. I think that's where I picked up the phrase.
Dang funny, that is.
You mentioned 'mind control lasers attached to (his) face' in this
I am so going to steal that image at some point.
Huh. I have a pair of goggles that looks similar to those in the image, by the way.
I need to stop replying to every comment on my story.
1430932
Oh, right, my bad. And yeah, I had a blast writing that, and your review on it made me snort my tea, seriously ... Thunder Wing, ye gods, I honestly wasn't kidding about the borderline narcolepsy. It's like reading Twilight, as in my eyes would glaze over and I'd find myself intently watching the wallpaper above my monitor. Shit, my wallpaper might be trying to mind control me... brb, need to get the flamethrower out of the attic
1431005
No damage done. except maybe to your computer monitor.
and anyhow, your review was wonderfully funny! I almost had a heart attack with how much I was laughing by the end of it. Had I been sixty years of age, I might have!
Regarding your views on the Twilight Saga...
images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/12/12/88eab1db-b9e7-4c96-97d4-91a549044bc8.jpg
You're entirely right. Reading that is like dipping your face in butter then standing in the nearest pile of rabid weasels. Which are coated in an acid that only burns your skin in particular. Then jumping into a pit full of salt. Which is also on fire. On a blue hypergiant star. When you are unable to die.
...While Justin Bieber says 'swag' in the background.
[/infinitetorture]
My review was the result of 3 near-sleepless nights, excessive anger and a bag of sour skittles.
Mmm... sour skittles...
Plus a little bit of this:
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This.
twentypercentcooler.net/data/64/b8/64b849c446636e5f4ede2a980e56d434.jpg?1337893957
This story will win.
Win what, you may possibly ask for any reason?
The answer:
EVERYTHING.
1431176
I think you meant
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Gifs are always funny.
ALWAYS.
chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-gifs-celebrating-your-goal.gif
Yes they are.
1430811 Well, I'm glad to hear that. Because if you changed the storyline so that Spike did die, there wouldn't even be a story at all.
That would be a dumb-flank move. So don't do it.
1431176
That image. I like it.
Until I can get an artist to draw me a cover-art, it will serve as the temporary art.
HOLY CRAP, RAINBOW DASH YOU "almost" KILLED SPIKE i.imgur.com/MKtF2.gif
1434826
Them fightin' moves, yo!
That's more epic than 'xiaolin dodgeball!'
and it's nice to see you like my story, too!
and also it's nice to see concern for spike.
img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com/7ec02ac498236054bc0a4980265119c2/http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/papertablet/rarity_approved_by_ambris-d4cdq6y.png
TRACKED!!
1437953
Rarity approves of Spike getting the living tar beat out of him?
Who knew?
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But, seriously, I meant that as the concept of the fic in general.
Just a little info. I had originally planned for the others who were with RD at the time she attacked Spike, to not notice that she was gone. Only to turn back and find her on he cloud crying over Spike's battered body. But, this is yo' story. I can't make ou change it if you don' wanna.
1438735
Noted.
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How come i'm the first to wright a comment on a story in 80 weeks?
no offense,but it is a strain on the eyes to see the different colors when there is dialogue, (just a heads up)