(Looking for artists! (temporary image is temporary!))
(Oh hey, fourth chapter.)
Three months after the Canterlot wedding, Spike hits a growth spurt in the middle of the night. This growth spurt gives him access to more Draconic powers, heightening his senses and giving him more energy and strength.
Afraid that he will lose control like he did at his birthday party, Twilight creates
a fighting program for him. Creating this new technology, Twilight goes crazy with power.
Will Spike be able to save Ponyville before its too late? Will he be able to use his newfound powers to save his friends, or will he fall victim to Twilight's mind control?
(NOTE: This story was originally written by Firethrower 1256, but he passed the story to me as it was to go on permanent hiatus otherwise. I am now in charge of the story on his behalf. I hope you all enjoy my version!)
(Character tags will update as the story progresses.)
(Image creds to whoever made the image!)
Holy crap, you even made each sentence that was spoken a different color. 5/5 stars, would read again
1429714
Why, thank you!
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1429726
I am pretty awesome
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Like it, but to be honest, its kinda hard to read the yellow, but hey, I can live
I sure wish that the person who disliked my story would tell me why.
It'd be nice to know what I could improve upon.
Can you stop with changing the colors when they think or talk it's really hard to read but hey it still a good story
1430241
Sorry, but I do that to differentiate between speakers easier.
That's not gonna change.
Hey, good job on this one. Seems like a crack concept, but pretty awesome all the same. Seconding on the yellow text, but so long as Fluttershy doesn't make any speeches, it's a minor complaint. I do love the different colours for different speakers though, it helps me tell at a glance who it is speaking, even if the line isn't attributed to anyone, a major complaint of mine (when you can't tell who just said that line, because it could have come from anyone in the conversation). Keep up the good work, don't let it go to shit and all that... Loving the facial beams though, brings back memories of a certain boring stoner Stu... Yangus? A Choice of Love or some crap like that? Meh, anyway, good job.
1430596
Thanks! I love all the positive feedback I'm getting!
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Also, I think I could probably do something about that yellow. Maybe I'll make it orange for convenience?
But... what would I do if I had to introduce another orange pony?
1430612
.
I could probably nitpick, but it's not the kind of fic that makes me angry enough to go full potato and write an enormous wall of ranting. Formatted well, grammar is good, characters seem IC. Interesting concept. Some of the sentences seem a bit awkward, and don't flow amazingly well, but I only notice that because I'm an obsessive reader... I can't spot stuff like that in my own stories worth crap, trust me. It's probably something you'll get a knack for the more you write, but I'm too lazy to find out, so far. I wish you luck on that front nonetheless
1430649
Again, thanks for the positive feedback and critiquing!
I'll try to work on sentence flow in the future, and it'll probably get easier from here. That was the only chapter I really needed to rewrite/convert from the original story, so it ought to be significantly smoother from here on out!
Definitely watching this. Good luck.
1430733
^ Original story writer, everypony, just in case you didn't read the description.
Also, thanks.
Wait...
1430596
Something in my story reminds you of this?
I sincerely hope you're either joking or remembering something good, because I don't want my story to remind others of something horrible!
Just read first chapter, way better than original. I might stop writing stories and just give out ideas for good ones. But first, I must finish 'Fallen Stars'
Geez, man. You've got me scared for Spike's life here! But I know he can't die, he has to experience the hypnotic face lasers.
1430796
Sure he does... FOR ALL YOU KNOW!!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b6/Dramatic_Chipmunk.png/220px-Dramatic_Chipmunk.png
I might just change the story specifically for the purpose of trolling you.
Just for that reason.
Of course I wouldn't do that. I'm not that much of a parasprite.
1430774
Naw, I made a comment on it about hypnotic face lasers, those exact words I believe... it made me nostalgic, that's all. Nothing about the fic itself, but its comments page on the other hand...
1430839
Phew!
For a second there, I thought you were going to mistake me for a raving madman!
...
wait...
That'd be correct.
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What's that?
Out of control comments? There is no such thing.
1430488 The try to keep them the same size easier to read that way
1430915
Eeh, nope.
That's also something that's gonna be staying. It's just in my style.
1430839
You posted about 'hypnotic face lasers' on this story. I think that's where I picked up the phrase.
Dang funny, that is.
You mentioned 'mind control lasers attached to (his) face' in this
I am so going to steal that image at some point.
Huh. I have a pair of goggles that looks similar to those in the image, by the way.
I need to stop replying to every comment on my story.
1430932
... Thunder Wing, ye gods, I honestly wasn't kidding about the borderline narcolepsy. It's like reading Twilight, as in my eyes would glaze over and I'd find myself intently watching the wallpaper above my monitor. Shit, my wallpaper might be trying to mind control me... brb, need to get the flamethrower out of the attic 
Oh, right, my bad. And yeah, I had a blast writing that, and your review on it made me snort my tea, seriously
1431005
No damage done. except maybe to your computer monitor.
and anyhow, your review was wonderfully funny! I almost had a heart attack with how much I was laughing by the end of it. Had I been sixty years of age, I might have!
Regarding your views on the Twilight Saga...
images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/12/12/88eab1db-b9e7-4c96-97d4-91a549044bc8.jpg
You're entirely right. Reading that is like dipping your face in butter then standing in the nearest pile of rabid weasels. Which are coated in an acid that only burns your skin in particular. Then jumping into a pit full of salt. Which is also on fire. On a blue hypergiant star. When you are unable to die.
...While Justin Bieber says 'swag' in the background.
[/infinitetorture]
My review was the result of 3 near-sleepless nights, excessive anger and a bag of sour skittles.
Mmm... sour skittles...
Plus a little bit of this:
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This.
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This story will win.
Win what, you may possibly ask for any reason?
The answer:
EVERYTHING.
1431176
I think you meant
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Gifs are always funny.
ALWAYS.
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Yes they are.
1430811 Well, I'm glad to hear that. Because if you changed the storyline so that Spike did die, there wouldn't even be a story at all.
That would be a dumb-flank move. So don't do it.
1431176
That image. I like it.
Until I can get an artist to draw me a cover-art, it will serve as the temporary art.
HOLY CRAP, RAINBOW DASH YOU "almost" KILLED SPIKE
i.imgur.com/MKtF2.gif
1434826
Them fightin' moves, yo!
That's more epic than 'xiaolin dodgeball!'
and it's nice to see you like my story, too!
and also it's nice to see concern for spike.
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TRACKED!!
1437953
Rarity approves of Spike getting the living tar beat out of him?
Who knew?
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But, seriously, I meant that as the concept of the fic in general.
Just a little info. I had originally planned for the others who were with RD at the time she attacked Spike, to not notice that she was gone. Only to turn back and find her on he cloud crying over Spike's battered body. But, this is yo' story. I can't make ou change it if you don' wanna.
1438735
Noted.
Everypony is going to hate me for the beginning of chapter 2. I can feel it.
I don't hate you!
You got me with the funeral, though.
I had a feeling that that wasn't Spike, I have read way too many stories for something like that to fool me,..,
Good story so far, I want to see what direction this is going to go in.
-Ambassador of the Changelings,
Dopple Ganger
1440159
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...
wait...
1440164
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Well, half ain't bad.
1440192
Well not to be mean or anything,..,but 50% is still a failing grade, no need to fret though, the polls aren't closed just yet.
-Ambassador of the Changelings,
Dopple Ganger
1440208
Oh well.
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May as well wait 'n see what anypony else has to say thus far.
I like your style, kid. I can practically see the glint in your eye when you write this stuff. Or maybe it's just me being crazy
Nice reading so far, keep it up denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw197_small.jpg
1440474
Aw yes. More positive comments.
This may be my most popular story yet!
Nice chapter, although I can't tell what Spike's reaction to RD having a crush on him is. And how much time has passed since the incident?
1440559
All with due time, my friend.
Just wait.
Besides, it's a FUNERAL for cryin' out loud! I can't have Spike thinking of such things during a funeral!
Let me guess: The cloud's funeral.
Edit: Damn. weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/freddie-mercury-so-close-pose1.jpg
Honestly, I think that it SHOULD be the cloud's funeral. Good job though.
Intersante. I will track this story.
1440868
I could totally make a side-chapter for that!
In fact...
I think I might have to include that at some point now.
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Except, now that it's been mentioned, it won't be as funny.
Maybe I'll just have it be an ongoing joke instead.
Also, 300 views.
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