Chapter Two: Eavesdropping.
“I am not going to that stupid boarding school in the middle of nowhere, and you can’t make me! There’s nothing wrong with Romford Comprehensive, all my friends are here and you’re just being totally unfair!”
“Kevin, your mother and I have discussed this at great length, and we decided together that it’s in your best interests…”
“Oh, I see, Dad. So now all of a sudden you're making big decisions about my future behind my back, and I’m supposed to just accept this? Maybe you shouldn’t have had a son at all; perhaps a robot would’ve been a better choice! You should’ve ordered one from Japan, I hear they’re all the rage there!”
“I told you he wouldn’t understand, dear. He never appreciates anything we ever do for him. He’d rather hang out with his delinquent ‘friends’ down Oxford Circus who drink underage, shoplift regularly and stay out all night. If only you’d disciplined him properly when he was a child, we wouldn’t be having any of this petulant backtalk…”
“You think threatening me with a spanking, forcing me to stand in the corner all day or confiscating my Nintendo DS as a little kid would’ve changed who I am today, Mum? Yeah, right! And you leave my friends out of this! You don’t care about me, you’re only worried about how any ‘bad publicity’ might impact your big government job! I think the major issue here is how I hardly ever saw either of you growing up, you were too busy at your jobs to see if I was okay or not. Newsflash: I wasn’t, but you never took the time to listen. So if I have ‘fallen in with the wrong crowd’ and you want someone to blame, try looking in the mirror!”
“Okay, Harold… if you won’t be a man and punish your son, I suppose it’s up to me! Go to your room this minute, Kevin! You can come back down when you’re ready to apologise to both of us, then you can have your dinner…”
“Well, looks like I’ll be up there forever then because I ain’t saying sorry when I ain’t done anything wrong. Besides, your home-cooking is no incentive for me to apologise… in fact, quite the reverse. You do realise the reason we never have rats anymore is because they scavenged our larder once for leftovers, and it practically wiped out the entire colony overnight?”
“Right that’s it, young man!! How dare you insult Maureen… Mum’s food she prepares especially for us! You can just stay up there all night now without supper, in fact you might as well start packing your things. You leave in a week, no questions asked, full stop!”
“Fine, fine… I’m going! Just bear this in mind though, when you both retire and are unable to look after yourselves, guess who gets to decide whether you go in a home or not? Here’s a sneak preview: I ain’t wiping anyone’s…”
“OUT!!”
As both my irate parents shouted at me in unison, I wisely wasted no more time in their miserable company. I stomped up the stairs as loud as I could, making sure I slammed my bedroom door twice for good measure to indicate just how strongly I felt about being relocated so far away without even being consulted on the matter. Everything I knew growing up in London and was familiar with... gone, just like that.
Little did I know, as I intentionally cranked up my rock music to the max and practised my air guitar whilst bouncing off the walls, the mere few hundred miles between home and St Crispin’s would be a drop in the ocean compared to the distance in light years and dimensional travel where I was soon to find myself.
And the fuss they make about putting a man (or woman, let’s be fair) on Mars. Pffff!
“... He’s so cute! And tiny! I wanna pinch his little cheeks until they turn red, and fluff up his hair 'til it looks like mine! Can I please pet him, please Twilight? I promise to be gentle!”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea, Pinkie Pie. I know how rough you can be with your ‘pets’. He’s been through a very hard ordeal, and he needs a nice long rest. That means… no surprise ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ parties until he feels all better, is that clear?”
“I’m still a bit confused though, Sugarcube. You say he was being held with you on this ‘Urth’ planet and you escaped together, but you don’t know his name yet? How is that even…”
“O-Of course I know his name, Applejack… it’s ‘Summer Delight’. I was just all so happy to see all you girls again, that it completely slipped my mind to properly introduce him. So now you know.”
‘Tiny’? I’m 5’7, which is generally considered big for my age. And ‘Summer Delight’? That’s not who I am! I’m Kevin! Also, who the heck are Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Sugarcube? ‘Twilight’ though… that definitely rings a bell…
“I think it’s a perfectly lovely name, Twilight! Plus, I adore his coat. It’s light yellow, just like mine! It really goes with his orange mane, don’t you think?”
“I suppose so Fluttershy, but my main concern was getting him out of there in one piece. A colt so young can’t fend for himself in such a hostile world, and I’m not sure how powerful his magic is yet. I mean, it took Sweetie Belle years to learn how to levitate a broom properly, and Summer is at least a couple of years younger than her…”
What are those mad ladies prattling on about now? I have brown hair everywhere, even in areas I don’t care to disclose; not a trace of yellow or orange anywhere! I can’t do any magic tricks either, not even if you gave me a magician’s hat onstage preloaded with all manner of rabbits, handkerchiefs and another person’s watch. I’d accidentally kill the bunnies, lose the hankies and smash the poor bloke’s Rolex! And what’s this I hear about a ‘young colt’...!
“Well Twilight, I think it’s simply smashing that Sweetie will have another little unicorn to play with around Ponyville, she can be like a big sister to him! The only other young unicorns she tends to associate with are that ‘lovable’ duo Snips and Snails, and I’m afraid the best thing you can say about them is that they mean well…”
“ I’m sure Summer and Sweetie will be the best of friends, Rarity, along with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and the rest of Miss Cheerilee's class. But you’ll have to be patient with him: he doesn’t remember what Equestrian life is like at all having spent so much time away, so for the moment just to be on the safe side I’ll be teaching him at the Castle Of Friendship. He’ll be staying here too, until he gets settled down. It’s only right, considering I flew him here in the first place.”
Seriously everyone, enough with the unicorn talk. I’m not a pony, I’m a human being… wait a sec. Where are my hands… I can’t feel my hands!! My clothes are gone… why does my nose feel so… what’s this pointy nub sticking out the top of my… and since when was there fur all over my… wake up, Kevin, wake up! This is not a drill, you need to open your eyes. NOW!!
“But what about his pare…Um, Twi? You know you told me to keep an eye on Summer Delight over here?”
“Yes, Rainbow Dash… what about it?”
“I think he may be coming to. If the mumblings and grumblings in his sleep are anything to go by, that is.”
“I think a bigger clue is the fact his eyelids are beginning to flicker, but thank you for informing me, Rainbow. Hi there, Summer! How are you feeling… sorry about this, Kevin. I’ll explain everything in due course, I swear…”
The magical mare (whose voice I now recognised as Twilight Sparkle from the stables earlier) privately whispering that last part in my now floppy ear was enough to jolt me to attention… and reader, words cannot quite adequately describe my feelings at opening my peepers for the first time since my apparent death-defying journey through the very fabric of the space time continuum.
Eye-bleedingly pastel colours. Everywhere. Enough to make you want to put on a pair of sunglasses, and never take them off again.
As unbearably garish as my surroundings were now though, they were as nothing compared to the six cartoonish pony-like faces crammed around my line of vision, jostling about like I was some prize attraction at a freak show. Pink, white, blue, purple… there’s more of a selection here than a M&M’s multipack. And what’s with the reflective crystalline wall… oh dear.
Oh dear, indeed. Funnily enough, seeing my radically changed appearance for the first time came as a bit of a shock. Let’s say, about a thousand volts worth. Please tell me that this is all just some awful nightmare… I don’t actually have four hooves, a multicoloured orange mane and yellow coat, a tiny horn and an overwhelming desire to eat grass for the rest of my equine life…
Sadly, as you’ve no doubt figured out by now, no manner of prodding, pinching or bashing my head against the post of the huge bed where I now lay (ow) could persuade me that this hallucinogenic experience was anything less than cold, hard reality.
I was no longer Kevin. I was no longer human. I was no longer a resident of the Earth, The Milky Way, or the entire Solar System come to think of it.
Instead, I was a young and allegedly cute unicorn colt in a newly-discovered land called Equestria. A very small colt, at that. First name Summer, second name Delight. Marvellous. Just brilliant. Why does my new title sound like a sugary soft drink full of E numbers? Why am I even asking this question? That’s the least of my worries, right now.
I’m not even getting into the imposing castle I now apparently reside in, or the dragon-like creature curiously poking its head around the doorway to look in, just behind its pony brethren. It was all too much to take in at once, so I did the only rational thing I could at this most tense of moments.
I fainted dead away once more.
Hopefully, when I roused myself again, all evidence of abusive boarding schools, pushy, neglectful parents and magical talking ponies will be eliminated from the history books once and for all.
Well, you know what they say… two out of three ain’t bad.
Well, let's keep the ball rolling with the second chapter. I hope you're enjoying the story so far... it appears you are by the reception its been getting! 
Thanks for following and favouriting it... and I'll see you all again real soon. 
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Still promising, still will keep an eye on it. Good job!
11861745
Good to know. And thanks for just adding it to your 'Favourites' list.
Another great chapter. You always write such engaging stories I am so looking forward to seeing more.
If I were in Kevin's position, I would be more than a little miffed. I'd be blowing steam out my ears as I demanded for Twilight to send me back.
I can't wait to see Kevin's first reactions to all this. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
11862175
No offense, but I think if you were actually in his position, you wouldn't be so quick to demand your old life back. What exactly does Kevin have to look forward to if he goes back home?
11862213
I wasn't talking about myself as Kevin, I was talking about myself as me. If a talking pony kidnapped me and transformed me against my will, I wouldn't be very happy about it.
11862175
I think his initial reaction to being 'kidnapped' is indicated in the story title alone. As for what follows... well, the common phrase is true: wait and see.
thanks for updating
All that transformation thing took a Big turn
also idk why But i'm Appreciating humanity quite a bit lately
so You better have a good excuse twilight
11862223
I never said you were talking about yourself as Kevin. You're the one who said 'if I were in his position'. I just thought you meant the whole part and parcel, because otherwise it doesn't seem to be something worth saying, or even make sense given the context of what happened in the story. If you would have a different life you were snatched from, namely one you were happy with, then a) of course you would want to go back, but also b) you probably wouldn't have been taken from it in the first place.
11862371
Okay, I think I see your point.
The One thing that bothers me about this chapter is this section.
To me, that doesn't sound anything like Fluttershy. Sounds more like Rarity.
11869069
She is commenting on the fact that the coloring of their fur is very similar, not from a fashionista’s perspective. She’s talking more cutesy than usual because she’s in the presence of a very young colt. The same way people can start being all ‘aww’ when they see a baby. That’s what I thought when I wrote it, anyway.
Regardless, you may have a point… so now I’ve edited it to be more ‘Fluttershy’ whilst relaying more-or-less the same info. Hope this improves things for you!
11869089
Looks good!