Records of a Young Woman's Love Life

by Optimal Robotics

Chapter 3: Massive Timeskip

Working on a farm was good for me. Quite a sight better than wading through the mud and blood of war at least. I did fall behind on work at times, but the frequent food I eat helps with that. Both physical and metaphysical. Physical food doesn't give me any problems. I was afraid it would with my apparent ability to subsist solely on emotion, but all I had to deal with were the usual biological processes.

On the subject of feeding, apparently I got a reputation of being very affectionate with all my nuzzling. Something I can live with if it allows me to live with it. It also took me far too long to figure out it was love I was eating. Multiple years. Just put it down as two so I don't get laughed at too hard. Following that I had the bright idea to make my 'cutie mark' a heart. This was when I found out that I couldn't get any cutie marks in a heart shape to come out as anything but broken! What is this!? And then my guardian came in when I was finding this out, so then I was stuck with it for however long I kept using this identity! Nuts.

On the subject of cutie marks, it's believed that Harmony itself bestows them to you upon reaching adulthood. They are your special talent, what you are best at, and what you will be best at for the rest of your life. Usually forms around the start of puberty, when you start maturing as a person. Naturally I thought this was all a bit heavy handed until I observed the phenomenon a bit more. About half the time you can predict what the cutie mark is going to be about if you know the person beforehand. And even when you're wrong it's never a surprise. This leads me to believe it is merely a magical biological process. Somehow.

The culture here is theocratic with a mostly meritocratic governance. Initially I assumed the worst when I heard about our immortal Alicorn ruler that has complete dominion of the sun and moon. Except there is none of the graft, corruption, or authoritarianism I would expect from a theocratic regime. No fear about her anywhere I look either. I suppose if she was actually immortal she would have a vested interest in long term stability. The only negative I can think about her is she has throttled the industrial revolution very sharply. The official rationales I could find for this were environmentalist concerns. Eh, a wash I suppose. I've lived without computers since my second life onward, it won't kill me if I never have them again.

My first husband was agreeable enough. I explained that I didn't think it was physically possible for me to have kids, though for totally fake reasons. He was supportive of me regardless. Being a baker's wife was less strenuous than a farmer's kid. I was able to start stockpiling love in my metaphysical well for a rainy day, with a near constant source of affection from my husband and his family. All of his little nieces and nephews thoroughly adored me. All the extended family too, once they started having foals of their own.

This was the perfect retirement for me. Safe, fulfilling, filling... I was perfectly ready to shuffle off this mortal coil and go on to the next great adventure. Only... I, uh, I didn't? I didn't grow old at all when my husband did. I was able to fake it well enough, but people still noticed I was spry for my apparent age. Then he died and I decided to call it in for this identity. The fillies were all heartbroken of course, but the adults understood all too well.

I told them I wanted to spend my last years touring the world, seeing all the wonderful sights it no doubt has to offer. And I did! I toured all across the continents! The Untamed West was kinda boring, Griffonia was much more like a human culture with a bit of a brighter outlook on life, and Zeberica was wild and untamed. I even visited the Dragon lands. One of them caught me transforming and declared his intent to marry me then and there. Very old male. Seemed to recognize what I was, but still wanted me. Very baffling. I gave him the slip. I didn't want to promise him anything I was unwilling or unable to give.

When I returned to Equestria I realized something. I realized that the ponies here enjoy the greatest concentration of love per capita in the world! Or at least the parts of it I was able to visit. Every single household has at least one actively loving member at a time. (Households being quite big here.) Permeated the air even, as thin as it was. It was the perfect place to stay for a good long while. Or at least until I figure out what my life span is. This revelation was followed shortly by another. Celestia is another member of whatever the heck species I am! It all lines up! The longevity, the anatomy, the internal policy, the propaganda! It's all to shape the minds of three entire species in the world's largest contiguous empire into loving her. Genius!

Well let it not be said that I like rocking the boat. I'll coast under her notice for my entire time living here. Worked pretty well too. I spent most of my time married after crafting identities that nobody even thinks to check. An upside of no computers. Went through the royal college a few times. Never made it to the top though. Grumble grumble grumble. In total I have lived 327 years in Equestria since that eel thing dropped me here. Haven't seen him since. Another point in his favor.

My most recent paramour is a roguish lass by the name of J. K. Yearling. Female only relationships are nothing abnormal in this world, thank Harmony. Gender ratios are a bit skewed towards female here. I met her when I was trying to tame some tree wolves in the Everfree. Timberwolves they're called. My thinking was that they could be harvested for love while I live here for about a decade. Really get in touch with my wild side. I've also never had the occasion to own a dog before. I would've really liked to try it, even if it's not quite the same here.

My plan was completely and utterly derailed by her and some sort of ancient guardian creature rampaging through the forest in an effort to find a long lost magical artifact. What the actual heck. But I am nothing if not adaptable. I took her side and helped her thrash the moron. Not all that overtly mind you. I just helped her navigate the local forest and kept a couple goons busy while keeping myself on hoof if things went south.

After all that kerfuffle was done with she said she was probably going to sell all this as a story to fund her next expedition. I decided to go along with her after that. A financial and martial challenge. Good living, that. Yearling doesn't look half bad either.

Author's Note:

I decided to go with such a large leap in time because it mostly doesn't matter. The only interesting things that happen, happen all at once during canon. Or so I'm led to believe. Plus it leaves room for Tanya Style Shenanigans TM in the meantime.

Comments

[Davenfjeld]

My most recent paramour is a roguish lass by the name of J. K. Yearling.

A. K. Yearling.

(I am really enjoying this story about our friend the Ardent, but I am also a pedant <3).

[xbox432]

Well, what do ya know? She was actually able to keep herself out of trouble for THAT long? Also, heh, that's gonna be a hilarious conversation when she alludes to Celestia ALSO being a Changeling.

[FTR2017]

Well. she did live and learn and succeeded while at it.

[nighters]

not gonna be surprised if the bakery she ran with her first hubby is still open serves the best choco and coffee and a few traditional family recipes with a hint of love and ritual she and her husband labor maybe she sends cute family secrets of recipes from her time around the world or pretends their old notes to add a bit of mystery to that bakery~

also, the dragon knows her quality he has to earn Tanya as the lovely gem she is when or if they meet again he seems to like her type to keep at it!