BEDLAM

by Gormless Wheaton

Chapter 5

---

After a brief moment, the wall to the Ponyville jail had a neat little hole cut into it. The circular chunk I'd sliced fell inwards with a heavy thud, allowing me to step inside. I smiled at the lonely little inmate who looked up at me in wonder.

"Hey, 'lil lady! You come here often?"

"Bedlam!" Jury squealed as she galloped up and hugged my leg. "I knew you'd be back!"

"'Course you did. I promised, didn't I?"

The door to the cells creaked open. "What was that?!" A guard came galloping in, sliding to a stop when he saw me. "Y-! you."

I drew one of the last remaining stun spell talismans. "Me." With a click, the guard was blasted and knocked out cold. Jury and I stepped back out into the moonlit yard around the jail before slinking away. After just a few minutes we made it to the school and slipped inside the toolshed I knew wasn't locked. It had been broken for months, but Cheerilee never had a chance to fix it. I was going to handle it for her the day she dismissed me.

Woopsie-daisy.

I pulled the light string and lit the shed up so we could talk. "So, did they say anything about the lair?"

Jury nodded. "They came back like you said they would. I told them you probably realized I was betraying you so you were clearing out, like you said I should."

I patted her head. "Good girl. What then?"

She hummed and leaned into my hand before responding. "The guard told them you were attacking Canterlot, so they rushed up there. Like you said they would."

I inhaled through my teeth and pumped my fists. "EASY!" I let my breath out in a cackle. Jury smiled and giggled but then blinked and looked off to the side.

"So.. Did you do it?"

I chortled and sighed. "Do what?"

"Uhm.. Neighsay.. Did you.." She shuffled her hooves and her ears shot back. "Ki.. Get him?"

I choked. "I wasn't going to kill him!"

"You weren't?"

"No! I was going to burn all the E.E.A.'s records and books!" I shook my fist northward. "Let's see how they like having to start from scratch!"

She raised a hoof and blinked. "O-oh!" I scowled down at her.

"Listen, the guy has more in common with a rat than any pony I've ever seen, in looks and personality, but that doesn't mean I'm down to kill him," I smirked and scratched her ears. "I've still got a soft spot for all you adorable little idiots." Again, she leaned into my hand and giggled.

"So, you burned their archives?"

I scowled and folded my arms, drawing a curious squeak from Jury. "Unfortunately, no. Starlight intervened and I had to detonate some of my tools just to get away. So much for my grand temporary farewell to Equestria!"

"Darn!" Jury grumbled before giving me a sympathetic smile. "Well, at least we got the important stuff out!"

I waved my hand. "Pfft, please. The real silver lining is they left you so poorly guarded," I smirked and scooped her up. "You and I can just rebuild, but I think I'd go crazy without you." She blushed and smiled.

I rolled her and held her under my arm before pushing to door open. I thrust my pointing arm south. "Let's get a move on. We got a long trip ahead of us!" I carried her out into the yard and made my way to the road.

She looked up at me. "After we collect the animunculi and our tools, we're going south, right?"

"Correct. Why? Did you learn something about the southern lands?"

She frowned and nodded. "Mhm. Some of those mob ponies we've been selling explosive potions to said there's a warlord taking everything over."

"Shouldn't be a problem. We can talk to that Verko twerp and-"

"With a fleet of airships. He also recently took over Klugetown."

I sucked air through my teeth. "Oh."

---

I tucked the blank papers as well as those I'd used to draw my weapon plans into my coat before following the guards to the dining room. Technically, I was called for breakfast twenty minutes ago, but I realized I'd fallen into my habit of making things for me and so needed a few minutes to make an altered version of my weapon for ponies to us.

This was, of course, only partially a lie. It was entirely intentional for me to make it for myself. All goes well, I'd be using it to engage my hostile take-over once the B-listers were in the ground.

My plan was simple. It was plainly obvious that power was already being handed to Twilight, so taking her hostage was an easy checkmate as far as the politicians went. Add in the presence of the Bell, and I had an easy means of neutralizing Celestia and Luna. Discord was already a non-issue, and there was little to fear from the girls if I managed to capture Twilight.

It was just a matter of timing.

"You're late," Twilight groused as the guards held the doors open for me.

"Have a good reason for it this time, though!" I declared as I strode to the table.

She frowned. "This time?" I stopped and blinked.

"Never mind," I looked around the room and saw it was just her at one end of a long table which was set with only one plate of pancakes. She had a mug of coffee she was occasionally sipping from. "Just us?"

She hummed. "Like I said, you're late and nopony wanted to wait on you. Plus, Celestia and Luna said something came up before they teleported out." She sipped her coffee and sighed. I raised an eyebrow, as this was the first time I'd really gotten a look at her.

Her coat was frayed in places, and her mane wasn't much better. She also had heavy bags under her eyes.

"Rough night?" She nodded as I took my seat. I hummed and reached into my coat, hesitating as the guards who stood on either side of my chair pointed their spears at me. Twilight rolled her eyes and waved them down with a wing, allowing me to draw my plans and hand them to her. "Here is what kept me so long."

"Later, Eddy. I'm still waking up." I flinched and stared at her. That was a tone I wasn't used to hearing from her.

"Fair enough," I dropped the papers and dug into my plate. Twilight took a breath and then threw back her whole mug. She shuddered as she swallowed and then exhaled.

All at once, her demeanor shifted. "So! How're you doing?" She said, beaming.

"Fine."

Her eye twitched and her expression fell. "You always say that," she frowned at me and sighed. "Eddy, how are you really?"

I rolled my eyes. "Eager for this to be over so I can get back to what matters."

She hummed and tilted her head. "And what's that?"

"My machines. My work. My art," I raised an eyebrow at her and tapped my fork on my plate. "Hopefully with you there to see them and not smash them."

She blinked and looked off to the side. "Oh. Well," she shrugged and smiled at me. "Yeah, I kind of want that too."

She scowled. "In a legal and nondestructive environment, of course." I gave her a narrow-eyed smile.

"Of course," I leaned back and hummed. "Speaking of, what happened to all my animunculi? Surely they didn't all explode?"

"Most of them did, since we blasted that," she scrunched her muzzle. "What was it again?"

"The Crystal Mind."

She smiled and nodded. "Right! Since we blasted that with the Elements, any of your things receiving signals from it got fried too," she sighed and giggled at which I grumbled. Her laughter turned to a yawn. And there was my door. "But you had plenty of golems in storage that weren't active, so those ones didn't get blown up."

"And what happened to them?"

She yawned again and hummed. "Oh, we brought them back to Can-" She squawked and her wings snapped out. "CAAAAAN them! Seal them in CANS! Which we then dumped in a big pit and set on fire!" She gave me a wide, toothy smile.

I snarled and pounded my hand on the table. "WHY?! They were still perfectly functional!"

"Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. Buy-"

"Eddy, please don't."

"Damn it."

I grumbled a sigh and folded my arms. "What exactly is it you don't want me to do?" I held my hand out and frowned. "Suggest that they'd be very useful for defending the city."

She groaned and threw her head back for a moment. "You-"

A guard burst into the room and came galloping up to Twilight's side. "Princess Twilight! Celestia and Luna have returned and are in the throne room. Come quick!"

Twilight stammered. "Wh- Okay! Come on, Eddy!"

I shook my head in bewilderment. "He asked for you." I waved her off and leaned back in my seat. "I'm not getting out of this chair!" I squawked as she hefted me and the chair up in her magic and dragged me out of the room.

We sped along down the corridors until finally we arrived at the throne room where-

"BEDLAM!" A pair of unicorns, one light blue and the other dark purple and missing her horn were waiting.

Twilight came to a screeching halt, launching me out of my seat. I landed on my chest, but rapidly scrambled to my feet and raced forward. "Jury! Tempest!"

"Stop." I was immediately snared in Celestia's magic and held stock still. I grimaced as best I could and glared at her as she stepped between me and my closest allies. Said allies were currently in shackles and magic restraints. Well, Jury was anyway.

They'd simply removed the prosthetic horn I built for Tempest.

The sight was enough to redouble my hissing, snarling efforts to break free of Celestia's grip. To no effect, purely due to the fact I hadn't had a full meal yet.

"Let him go!" Jury squealed. "You've had him locked up long enough!" Tempest meanwhile just scowled at Celestia and Luna.

Rainbow huffed and looked between me and the girls. "Where the heck'd you find these two anyway?"

Celestia looked over her shoulder at Rainbow. "They set off one of the wards inside the door to Tartarus," she turned back to me and raised an eyebrow. "Seems they developed a device capable of breaching the gates."

"We were working on the drill for months," Tempest spat, drawing everyone's attention to her. "But Jury-rig was making plans for it within a week of Lord Bedlam's capture."

She gave me a sad look and bowed her head. "Forgive me, sir. I should have been more careful." I grumbled a response as best I could, as I was still frozen in Celestia's grasp.

Jury sniffled and lay on the floor. "Mean old nags." Luna shuddered and let out a low moan as she slowly turned to glare at her.

"To Tartarus, sister?" She darkly murmured. "They were so eager for entry after all." I gurgled and screamed as best I could, which had the desired effect of getting Celestia to release me after rolling her eyes. The eye roll was planned as well.

I fell to my knees and then scrambled up, throwing my pointing arm at them and resting my other hand on my hip. "Jury! Tempest!" They snapped to attention. "A trio of B-listers are currently en route to destroy Equestria! We are aiding the new monarch in defense of her realm!"

"Okay!" Jury chirped.

Tempest tilted her head. "As you wish?"

I spun and bowed at Twilight. "They're in."

She scowled. "No." My jaw and arms dropped.

"Bu-" She held up a wing.

"We are going to discuss letting them help," she gestured to the rest. "Personally I think they could be a big help, but I know you." She jabbed a damning hoof at me.

"So, for now, they're going to the dungeon," she frowned. "A different wing of the dungeon." I grit my teeth and glared at her. She met my eyes with a glare of her own. After a moment I exhaled hard.

"Fine," I stood off to the side as the guards came and led Tempest and Jury away, the latter of whom whined and looked back at me as they left. As Twilight stepped passed me to begin talking with her friends, I hummed and held my stomach. "Don't think those pancakes are sitting right."

They looked back at me. Pinkie humphed. "Wouldn't surprise me! I made sure they were plain, but they still had sugar in 'em!" She scowled. "And you probably get food poisoning from sweet things." I slowly blinked at her before looking at Twilight.

I gestured to the door. "May I?" She looked me up and down for a moment before nodding at one of the guards. Once again I was led through the castle until we came to the bathroom. The guard moved to follow me in until I began to undo my belt at which point he grimaced and scrambled back outside.

Once I was alone, I retrieved the hair-removing potion from my coat and emptied it in the toilet. Setting the empty bottle aside quietly, I drew a blank sheet of paper and pen and quickly scribed down my plan as well as the presence of the inactive animunculi somewhere in the city. Once my note was complete, I rolled it up and stuffed it in the bottle which I corked and hid in my coat once more.

Taking a breath and leering at myself in the mirror, I strode out the door.

---

It took a month and a half of communication through proxies and letters, but we were finally having our peace talk after almost a year of petty skirmishes. He'd done the hard part of clearing this little valley of any potential nuisances, leaving me to bring the table and chairs. He'd done a predictably shoddy job, as there were plenty of buzzing insects creeping through the tall grass around us.

"Hello, Ignatius!" I called and waved. The grey-skinned satyr leaped up from his seat and pounded his fists on the table.

"THE STORM KING! JUST. THE STORM KING," Iggy roared. He thrust three fingers at me. "THREE WORDS! EASY! Rolls off the tongue! For crying out loud!" He threw his white furred head back into his hands, clenched his teeth, and screeched.

Then, he sat down, neatly folded his hands on the table, and smiled. "So! How's every little thing?" I smiled back and scanned the line of yeti-like Storm Beast officers just behind him who were scowling and beating their weapons into their hands. Tempest, just to his left, snorted at me when she met my eyes. I looked over my shoulder at Jury-rig who gulped at the sight of the large creatures.

"Hey," I looked up at Iggy, who now wore an annoyed glower. "You wanted to talk, so talk."

He knit his fingers together and rested his chin on them. "You finally ready to become my commander and lend me those super keen robots?"

I smiled and folded my hands on the table. "No."

He scowled and leaned back in his seat. "So what then?"

"You're canceling the invasion of Equestria I heard you've been planning." He flinched held a hand over his mouth and then turned to his commanders who met his look with fearful ones of their own.

Then they started cackling. As they did, some of the grass shuddered and the insects went silent or flew away. I smiled as Iggy wiped a tear and shook his head.

He pointed a finger at Tempest. "Last time I listen to you," he sighed and kicked his feet up onto the table. "Canceling huh? Why's that?"

"It's mine. Rest of the planet is too, but that's a later thing. So, I'm fine with you bumming around the rest of the world for a little longer."

"Pfft! OH-kay!" He chortled and jabbed his thumb at me while looking at a commander. "You believe this guy?" The grass shuddered again.

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"Okay!" He slammed his hands on the table and stood. "Here's what's really going down." His commanders began to file out and encircle the table, making their way to me. Jury whimpered and grabbed my arm.

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Some of his commanders stopped and looked around the field. Tempest stared straight ahead at me while Iggy paced his end of the table. "You're coming with me back to the Storm Isles where you're going to whip up some of those fancy drones of yours! Or just about anything else I need," he whirled around and jabbed a finger at Jury. "And she's going to the mines." Jury cried out as he raised his finger before scowling and looking around.

wiiiiiiiiii

"The heck is that sound?"

I smiled. "Incentive." What followed stuck with me for months.

POP POP POP POP POP POP

"HEEEAYGH" Iggy squealed and threw himself over. Jury also cried out and buried her face in my sleeve while Tempest shuddered at the sight of the commanders suddenly collapsing with smoking bloody holes in their skulls. A few of them continued to writhe, including Iggy who was screaming and clutching his face.

"No time for regrets," I thought. With a shuddering breath, I shook off the sight of my work as well as Jury and rushed around the table.

"That's amazing!" I chirped as I loomed over his moaning form. "There's enough explosive glue in these to pop a hole in a steel helmet! And yet all your heads are still on. I knew Storm Beasts were tough, but woo lad!"

He rolled over and looked up at me with his one remaining eye, his hand clutching his blasted face. "Temp- AH- Tempest!" He shook his hand at me. "K-kill- Kill him!" I smiled and leered back at Tempest, who scanned the injured and dying commanders before humming.

"I don't know, Your Excellency," she said as she slowly moved to my side. "I think we might be outgunned on this one. My mistake."

Iggy winced and moaned. "You- houuu.. What?" He looked between us as Tempest smiled down at him and then pointed a finger at her. "You.. You set this meeting up.. Con- urr... Convinced me to.. When did he?"

"Cornered her in Klugetown while she was on patrol," I explained with my hands folded behind my back. "But Jury was keeping an eye on her for way before that. Part of how I figured out why she was working for you."

"What can I say? He made a compelling argument about switching sides," she leaned in. "And he actually had something tangible to back up his promise." I chortled as Iggy gurgled and rested his head on the ground.

Wiiiiiii

He clenched his remaining teeth and looked at me. "What.. What is that?" I smiled and held up my hand before inputting a sequence on my gem-covered glove. As I unfolded my hand, a very tiny circular disk came hovering in and rested in my palm. All around me, a dozen or so rose from the grass and flew in a circle around us. Jury came up and sat down on the table just next to me, and looked up with pride at our work.

"You've seen my drones. You know roughly how they work. Big ol' propellors spinning to keep them afloat," I bent at the knees and held the drone in my palm to him. "These on the other hand use magic to fly. And since magic has no size relative to its power, we can make 'em tiny and hard to see. Like a swarm of wasps! Then we can fill them with something nasty, like poison or alchemically produced explosives! Just gotta set 'em up with a deployment method then."

I turned the drone over to display the top of it. "In this case, they just ram you topside first, where this firing pin is," I grinned. "POP." His snarled lip quivered and he groaned.

I stood up and looked at the drone in my hand. "'Course, they still got that little range problem all my animunculi suffer from. Have to be close to give them new orders or change old ones, but that flaw won't be an issue soon. Especially now with your resources at my disposal."

I looked him in the eye and smiled. "We're going to ride out and let your boys know how things are now. They work for me," I closed my hand before flinging the drone into the air. It bobbed for a minute before correcting itself and hovering in a circle around me. "Shouldn't be too hard, but on the off chance there's anyone out there who actually cared about you, we got these little beauties to HAH help 'em clear their heads."

"W-" Four more drones circled me and then went still, lining up with his face. He whimpered and held up his hand. "Wait!"

"I'm not stupid, Iggy," I bent over him and the drones followed. "I never liked you, but I just never had a chance to really put a pin in you. That's done and over, and y'know what's so poetic and rich about that?" I held up my hand, my thumb pressed against my index and middle fingers.

"So are you."

snap.

WiiiiiiPOP POP POP POP

---

Comments

[SleeplessChatter]

Interesting shift in the timeline thre at the end. I now have my suspicions as to what the major event before the prologue was.

Interactions with ponies he cares about give me hope but still suspicious about his full nature. Doesn't help that the exact reason why he went villainous is just out of sight.