A defeated villain from another world is granted a chance at redemption. Certainly he won't take advantage of this.
Sometime after a failed attempt at conquest, Ed Bedlam, a villain from another world, is granted a chance at redemption by the soon-to-be sole ruler of Equestria.
And we can be certain his time in Tartarus has cooled his ambitions.
The doors were pulled open, allowing me ingress and I stepped out of my chambers with a sweep of my flowing red cape. God, it was good to be King.
I strode down the halls of Canterlot Castle basking in the tinted sunlight that streamed through the stained glass and in the gratifying sight of pony, diamond dog, and minotaur guards and maids saluting or bowing as I passed. Even the rhythmic clank of Tempest's shoes against the marble floor as she marched beside me was a thrill to hear.
Because, just like everything else in this kingdom, she was at my command. Though, that did remind me.
"Once I wrap up, we need to see how effective and comfortable adamantine is for your horn," I looked down at her and she met my eyes, the metal and gemstone prosthetic horn I'd built for her reflecting the sunlight brilliantly. I smirked. "The unicorns say the stuff conducts magic great, so since the minotaurs sent a few tons as tribute, I figure it couldn't hurt to see how it does for you." She smiled and nodded.
"Yes sir, as you wish." We continued on until arriving at our destination: a large set of double doors with a pair of minotaur guards on either side. They saluted and then pulled the doors open for me, revealing a study with walls and carpet colored a dark blue and bookshelves reaching from the floor to the ceiling. At the center of it all was a fluffy chaise lounge sofa next to a long desk on which sat several stacks of papers and folders. And on the sofa itself sat the alicorn national treasure herself.
"You're late," Twilight groused, holding up a folder with her hooves and scowling at me. "And your new Everfree policy has already fallen through." I beamed and turned to Tempest.
"See you in the workshop?" I offered. She nodded, bowed, and left the room. The doors were shut behind her, leaving Twilight and I alone. I hummed happily and made my way to Twilight. Even scowling, she looked adorable. The magic inhibiter we put on her horn meant she couldn't magically correct her vision, forcing her to wear glasses, something she told me she hadn't done since she was a teenager. On top of that, the collar and nametag just tied it all together. I giggled and slid onto the sofa next to her, folding my legs and pulling her close. "So how exactly did my Everfree policy fall through? It seemed pretty solid to me." She grunted and pulled her forelegs free of my arm.
"Because controlled anything and the Everfree don't mix," she grumbled, slapping me in the face with the paper. "Let alone a controlled burn." I hummed and read the report, grimacing at the details.
"Fucking Ents?" I murmured. "Those're a thing?"
"Didn't use to be. Used to just be an Ogres and Oubliettes monster, which I think is where the guards got the name from," she jeered, slapping me with a wing. "Nice going, Your Majesty." I raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.
"Why thank you. Not everyone can so casually create a new form of life," I sighed and reclined, hugging her tight and drawing an annoyed groan from her. "And I'm so glad I have you to appreciate my accomplishments."
"Repugnant."
I shivered and looked up to see against my hopes, prayers, and to my eternal horror, Princess Luna glaring at me with icy disdain. My jaw dropped, and I groaned, leaning back in my seat and drawing a hand over my eyes.
"God damn it, I'm dreaming. Again."
"Some would call this a nightmare," she retorted.
"Those of us with no taste or ambition, maybe," I quipped. With a deep sigh, I hugged the fake Twilight one final time and stood up. The room blurred leaving Luna and I floating in a hazy void. I studied her for a moment. "What?" She studied me back, looking up at me with maintained annoyance.
"Awaken." I rolled my eyes and then closed them as everything melted away. Suddenly, I was on my back against a cold metal floor. With a mournful hum, I opened my eyes to see the same dark chamber my cage sat in, only now I had a few visitors. I raised an eyebrow at the trio glaring down at me from the other side of my cage bars.
"Hello, Mr. Bedford," Celestia greeted.
"Bedlam," I corrected, sitting up and looking at myself with a sigh. As opposed to my dreamed-up regal dress, I was still in the patchy, torn, and frayed black clothes I was wearing when they first locked me down here. Minus all my fun tools and gadgets, of course. Specifically, the ones that survived the fight.
"Eddy, please," Twilight groused, shaking her head and stepping closer to the bars. "This is serious." I hummed and considered her for a moment before laying on my side, and propping my head up on my hand.
"Must be," I rubbed my finger across the cage floor. "And I'm guessing this isn't just a lecture, either."
"Equestria is in danger," she declared. I gasped and brought my hand to my mouth.
"No."
"Upstart ape," Luna snorted and glared daggers my way.
"Let her talk to him," Celestia quietly urged.
"Discord messed up. Bad," Twilight continued. I blinked and sat up with my legs crossed.
"Okay," I replied, leaning on my knees.
"He gathered Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow together as part of some convoluted scheme to help us," she explained.
"Cozy who?" I muttered before scowling. "Hold up! Tirek was down here with me!" I shot to my feet and leaned my head through the bars of my cage, peering between Celestia and Luna in the direction I thought Tirek was locked up.
"Yes. Discord released him," Luna said dryly.
"What about me?!" I was pulled down to my knees by magic.
"Eddy! Focus!" Twilight demanded, looking me in the eyes. "They got ahold of Grogar's Bell and used it to steal Discord's magic." I blanched and gasped. I'd read about that little trinket a few times, so I was only slightly salty that those B listers managed to find it before me. Twilight nodded at my reaction.
"Now they're on the warpath and coming to conquer all of Equestria," she continued, fixing me with a sincere and serious look. I met her eyes and composed myself.
"So?" I urged.
"So, you nearly pulled off something similar on your own, with what amounts to a box of gems and a gutful of hate," she replied with a sigh. "You even managed to scare off Discord." Ah, I see. Fat chance, sweety. I smirked and leaned back with a hand on my chest.
"All very true and underselling my genius, however-"
"And you used to be my friend." God. I winced hard and groaned before slowly opening an eye to look at her. Her expression had shifted to that sad frown she must've known ate at me.
"Things don't have to stay like this Eddy," she tapped the bars of my cage with a hoof. "You were dealt a bad hoof by life and you made some serious mistakes, but I need to believe you can move past it all." I frowned and she stepped back from the bars before teleporting right up to me. She stepped up on my knees to meet my eyes.
"If you help us and we make it through this, I'll pardon you of your crimes against Equestria," she said, still wearing that frown. "It's not just that we need the help, and we do." She leaned closer.
"I want to give you the chance to be better." An all too familiar silence held the chamber. Despite having so much time to get used to it, her presence alone made it uncomfortable. I frowned.
"Since when do you have the authority to pardon someone like me?" I huffed. She blinked and hopped back.
"Right! You don't get much news down here," she smiled. "Celestia and Luna are retiring and have named me as their successor." I jolted and looked between the three of them.
"Really?" I quietly asked. The sisters nodded.
"Mhm!" Twilight confirmed. I rubbed my chin and furrowed my brow.
So, Grogar's Bell has been found and is in the hands of three B-list villains. Celestia and Luna are stepping down. Discord is powerless. And Twilight Sparkle is offering me parole?
"Eddy?"
"Easy," I thought. I leaned back and stretched my arms out, cracking my joints as I did so and making sure to refrain from letting the maniacal glee welling up inside show itself on my face. I sighed and nodded at Twilight.
"Are you feeling better, Mr. Bedford?" The princess asked. I looked up from my tea at her and the other concerned little ponies. I grimaced and shrugged.
"I mean," I huffed and looked at my hand. It was still shaking. "Better, yeah. Still not great, y'know?"
"Yeah, actually I do," said the purple one, Twi.. Twilight! Twilight said that as she came up and sat next to me on the sofa. "I've had my fair share of panic attacks before, so I know how scary that had to be." She frowned and hugged my arm with a wing.
"Probably just compounded everything, huh?" I stared into my tea and took a breath.
"Yeah," I whispered before looking up at the princess again. "So, sorry, but uh, what was it again? I think I kind of spaced most of what you were saying." The princess smiled and shook her head.
"No trouble at all. I should have been held firm and given you more time before explaining the situation," she replied. Yeah, and I shouldn't have pressed so hard, I guess. She cleared her throat and adopted a more serious look. "One of the younger students at our school for magic had a mishap while performing a teleportation spell. Such mishaps aren't unheard of, and we have safety procedures in place to mitigate the worst effects."
Her expression turned sad and she hummed. "However, this is the first case since this city's founding that a living, thinking being has been caught up in such an accident, and certainly the first in a thousand years that a creature from an entire other world is the victim." I grimaced at her word choice.
"I mean, I wouldn't call myself a 'victim.' Just," I rolled my hand searching for the word. Nothing came up. She hummed again and nodded.
"Well, however you wish to label it, it is unusual and deeply unfortunate, and we shall endeavor to find a means to correct it or at the very least lessen its consequences."
I looked at her with a furrowed brow. "What do you mean by that?" Twilight answered for her.
"Well, for starters, if Canterlot is too overwhelming for you, you're welcome to come stay with me in Ponyville!" She chirped. "It's a quieter town, and the ponies there are all really friendly. But either way, you don't need to worry about living arrangements." She gave me a bright smile, which the princess and the other little ponies mirrored.
"Exactly that, Mr. Bedford."
"Yeah! It'll be great!" The pink one squealed as she leaped right up to me, causing me to recoil. " You can stay in Twilight's castle, and come eat at Sugarcube Corner, and meet all our friends like Starlight and Trixie and Spike and Maple and Jury-rig and-" As she spoke she crept closer and closer, until the orange one, Applejack I think slipped next to her and pulled her back.
"Hold up there, sister," she chuckled. "Let's just focus on gettin' the fella settled first." She looked up at me with a smile. I scanned the group and looked at Twilight before nodding.
"Alrighty. I'll uh, follow your lead on this," I said. She beamed and hopped down from the couch.
"We will be in touch as we work to find a solution to your situation, Mr. Bedford," the princess said. I hummed and stood up.
"Understood, thank you," I saw a glimmer of light in my peripheral. Turning, I spied a mirror on a vanity and got a proper look at myself for the first time since waking up. I grimaced at what I saw. I vaguely recalled it being mentioned that the mishap had been slightly explosive, so I guess still being in one piece was a miracle all its own, but my hair was all frayed out, and my beard was partially singed off. To say nothing of my t-shirt and jeans, which were torn and blackened in places.
I rubbed my chin and ran a hand through my hair. "Guess I should probably shave."
I jumped and cried out as an orange hoof punched through the changing screen with a violent crack. "Hurry up back there, only warnin'." I scowled and gripped the edge of the screen and swept my head around it to glare at Applejack.
"Some of us have standards," I hissed as she removed her hoof and walked back to her spot in the room.
"Some of us are on a time limit," she shot back, turning her head to fix me with an annoyed leer. "Others on limited patience, fella." Rainbow snickered as we locked eyes for a few moments. I threw the screen open and stepped out, adjusting my bolo tie as I did.
"Luckily for you, I was just about finished," I declared as I approached the vanity next to the changing screen. Applejack rolled her eyes as I did and sat down next to Rainbow at the door, leaning back against the wall with her hat pulled over her eyes. I leered at the pair through the mirror before focusing on myself. I turned left and right, examining the suit Rarity had begrudgingly prepared for my arrival. Even though it was hastily made and done with hate, I had to admit she did a solid reproduction of my design.
White dress shirt under a black long coat with grey fringes, calf-high red boots with black dress pants tucked in them, and red gemstone cufflinks and tie-clip which-
Wait.
"These are fake," I said aloud as I examined my cufflinks. I glanced up at Rainbow and Applejack's reflections, the former of whom was scowling back at me.
"Pfft, yeah? You think we'd trust you with the real thing?" She smirked. I grumbled and looked at the blue-tinted glasses on the vanity. The lenses were glass and the frames had no stones on them. I sighed and looked back at the mirror. I rubbed my chin and head, running my fingers through my shaggy hair and beard, before scanning the vanity again. There were two basins, one empty and the other with water, a towel, and an assortment of colored bottles.
"Where's the razor?" I called. Rainbow groaned aloud.
"Twi said you'd ask, an' she said to tell ya 'No.'" Applejack said, waving a hoof at me. "Said to just use that blue bottle there." I raised an eyebrow and picked up the bottle in question. Popping the cork, I poured some into the empty basin on the vanity and hummed in approval.
"Ah-hah, one of mine?"
"Yeah, that mane-removing junk you came up with," Rainbow spat. I smiled at the venom in her voice.
"You ghastly creature!" Rarity shrieked as she battered my magical bubble with her hooves. I smirked and glanced down at my companion who was still struggling against her full-body metal harness. Rainbow scowled up at me, before blowing the last strands of her mane out of her face. The rest of her scalp was completely bare thanks to the potion I'd demonstrated on her.
I cackled and pointed at Twilight and the rest, all of whom were glaring at me with grim determination. The crowd of Manehattan ponies around us, however, looked at me with terror in their eyes. Except for the bank manager, who was gnawing his hoof and looking at the bags of money I had loaded on my hovercraft just behind me.
"Now, it's very simple!" I swept my hand toward the buzzing, hovering, magically powered drones above us, each of which had a bottle of my potion affixed to them. "You can stay here and harass me." I brought my free hand to my chest and leaned forward with a smirk.
"Or," I snapped my fingers and the drones whirred off towards the busy event center just up the road. "You can keep that lovely fashion show from making the headlines for all the wrong reasons." The five mares gasped.
"Monster!" Rarity wailed. I shot up straight and held up my free hand.
"But wait! There's more!" My fingers went to work, clicking the gemstones on my glove in a sequence. A magical signal sparked to life, and the harness around Rainbow shuddered before the stones all over it crackled and she was levitated off the ground.
"Hey! Wh- WHOA!" All at once she was shot off towards the event center by a preset telekinesis spell, drawing cries of shock from the ground as a few ponies had to dive out of the way.
"And there you have it!" I cackled and swept my arms towards her with a bow.
"Meanie!" Pinkie screamed.
"This isn't over, Bedlam!" Twilight yelled. "Come on, girls!"
Ah, good times.
"Yeah, this stuff works great!" I chirped, glancing over my shoulder at her. "Shame it isn't permanent, though." She snorted at me as I splashed the potion in my hands and wiped away the hair on my head and most of my beard, leaving the mustache. I flung the clumps of hair into the empty basin and appraised myself in the mirror.
Satisfied, I washed my hands off and sighed before turning to the pair.
"Alrighty! Let's not deprive them of my glorious visage any longer," I said, wiping my head and face with the towel. As I dragged it over my face, I met Rainbow's eyes as she was hovering right in front of me.
"You'd think all those years in Tartarus woulda got the point across that you ain't all that," she spat. I smiled and glanced passed her for just a moment. Applejack was reaching for the door with her back to us. I flung the towel in Rainbow's face. "Hey!" As she recoiled and moved to pull the towel off, I quickly swiped the hair remover and hid it in my coat pocket.
"Maybe you'd think so," I said as she tossed the towel aside and glared at me. I donned and adjusted my glasses with a smirk. "But I'm a little more aware."
I watched the scene in front of Twilight's castle with bewilderment. She and the girls were prancing to and fro in front of a crowd of Ponyville folk to the tune of a literal song on the wind. I blinked and looked down at Spike.
"What?"
He shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, it happens sometimes," he scratched his chin and looked up in thought. "I think Twilight calls it the 'Magic of Music'?"
"Oh yeah! I was reading about that in one of her books," I pulled my little notebook from my pocket and flipped to the relevant page. "'Powerful magic that wells up from a collection of synchronized emotional energy. See also the Magic of Harmony.'"
"You've been reading a lot about magic, huh?" Spike said. I shrugged and thumbed through my notes.
"We don't have anything like it back home, and," I hesitated and looked off to the side. Spike tilted his head at me, and I grimaced. "It keeps my mind off things."
"Oh," he looked down and rubbed his neck. I clamped my book shut and traced the cover with my thumb. I looked up at the crowd as the girls continued their number. I spied Snips among the crowd and smiled.
"Good news is I got something else to keep me preoccupied," I looked down at Spike. "Y'know, the handyman thing at the school?"
"Oh yeah!" He replied as we continued down the road. "How you liking it, by the way?"
"Plenty to do, I tell you that. Lots of places ponies can't reach without magic, so lots of places for dust to settle or stuff to come loose," I chuckled. "That's part of why I'm heading to the hardware store. Gonna buy some stuff to fix the fence on the north side of the schoolyard."
Spike stopped and shot me a concerned glance. "We're still getting snacks, right?" I laughed.
"Yes, we're still getting snacks."
"No!" Applejack cried as I stepped forward and planted my boot against the throne room door. A yelp of surprise greeted me as I literally burst into the room, followed by gasps of horror from the guards and maids gathered here.
I snapped the fingers on both hands and swept my arms out. "Guess who's back? Bedlam's back." One of the maids fainted, at which I chortled.
"Princess!" A guard shrieked up at Twilight, who was scowling at me from the throne. A look Celestia and Luna, who were at her sides, shared. "I thought you were joking!"
"How can you let him back in the castle?!" A maid wailed, wilting away from me as I strode towards the center of the room where the rest of the Elements, Discord, and Spike were gathered. The Elements and dragon met my smirk with matching glowers while Discord grimaced and took a step away from me.
I grinned and leaned at the hips over the ponies. "She's got a point. Really makes ya think, huh?" I flinched as a flash of light went off in my face, and as it faded, I was met with Twilight's angry frown.
"Behave." I humphed and stepped back, but she held her scowl for a moment longer before turning to the rest of the room. "Edward Bedford-"
"Bedlam," a guard corrected.
"Bedlam," Rarity continued.
"Bedlam," Rainbow chipped in.
"Bedlam," I chirped, meeting her annoyed leer with a smirk.
"HE has agreed to assist us with the impending threat of Cozy Glow, Tirek, and Chrysalis, and considering the magic at their disposal we need all the help we can get," she explained with a severe look. "We're going to keep him under careful supervision, so please remain calm and carry on with the defense plans we've already discussed." The castle staff looked at her with concern before turning their attention to me. I gave them a bright, reassuring smile.
"Scout's honor! I'll be on my best behavior." Some of them shuddered before the entire pack shuffled out, leaving the important people, as well as Discord, Spike, and all the ponies, alone together.
Twilight sighed hard and glared up at me. "You'd better be on your best behavior," she ordered, jabbing a hoof at me. I brought a hand to my chest with a gasp.
"Why Twilight, I'm hurt! When I already promised I'd-"
"Shove it. Words are words and ninety-nine out of a hundred times, you're lying," she hissed, causing me to flinch. "We need action, Eddy. Proof that you're willing to change." I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"Ain't that the truth!" Applejack cried, firmly bumping my leg and pointing at me. "After all the nonsense you done pulled over the years, this ain't no forgive and forget shindig, fella." I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Especially given they welcomed you into their homes and hearts and you still turned around and behaved like a common thug!" Discord of all creatures added. If there was any comfort to this situation, it was the entire group and I shared a glare leveled his way. He blinked and returned a nervous grin.
"Rest assured," I began, drawing everyone's attention back to me and bowing towards Twilight. "I am aware of the situation, and what is expected of me."
I met her eyes with a serious look. "My jeers aside, you don't need to reiterate it."
"Take the bait and let's move on," I thought as she studied me severely. After a moment, she nodded.
"Good," I smiled and stood up straight as she trotted back towards the throne. I glanced at her friends who each spared me a momentary glare before focusing on Twilight, save Fluttershy, who fixed me with a sad stare. When she realized I was staring, she quietly hummed and turned to Twilight.
"So, what exactly is your plan?" I asked. "Because I'm assuming part of 'keeping me under careful supervision' is keeping me from being able to build what I'd like."
"Darn straight," Applejack muttered.
"We don't know exactly how long before the Legion of Doom, as I believe they're calling themselves, arrives," Twilight replied once she reached the throne. "So for now, we're focusing on evacuating high-risk areas while we look at how to proceed."
"In addition, Starswirl the Bearded and the other Pillars will be arriving soon to assist us," Celestia added. I grimaced and growled.
"Of course," my eye twitched and I shot her a grim smile. "Will he be around as well?"
"It matters not," Luna spat, glaring daggers at me. "You will put aside your petty grievances for the time being." I met her glare and hummed.
"Fine, but how about this?" I looked up at Twilight. "Where are Tempest and Jury-rig?"
"We haven't seen either of them since we trashed your dopey citadel," Rainbow replied. I hissed and bit my thumb.
"Of course," I grumbled and paced a small circle. "Really not sure what you expect me to pull off, princess. Most of my best work was thanks to Jury's help, and Tempest is an invaluable asset."
"I expect you to work with us, Eddy," Twilight sighed. "We're all in this together, like it or not. It's not just about you, this is a team effort."
"Shows what you know," I thought. I looked up at her and grimaced at her frown.
"So, since we're all here now to discuss the Legion's attack, why don't you share one of your brilliant battle plans with the rest of us?"
I hummed and pursed my lips in thought before an idea sprang forth. I tinted my fingers and leaned towards them. "We could rebuild the Killer Six," I offered with a knowing grin.
"NO!" Came the booming reply from everyone in the room, save Discord, who shuddered and gave me a sideways glare. Even Celestia looked ready to pummel me for the suggestion. I chortled and hummed.
"Fine, fine," I stretched my arms and cracked my knuckles. "How about, I dunno.. I throw together some shield stones for your guards?" I raised an eyebrow at her as she and her friends shared a look.
"Well, that's.. A good start," Rarity replied, looking me up and down.
"I agree," Twilight said with a genuine smile that quickly turned sour. "But since you'd be working with gems to make those, somepony needs to supervise." I threw my head back with a groan.
The dozens of guards scrambled to keep me surrounded while also staying a safe distance from me as I marched down the main road of Canterlot. Just beyond my ring of silly armored ponies, the upper class ran screaming for cover behind market stalls and in alleyways. We came to a crossroads, and I hummed as I scanned the available paths.
"Which way was the E.E.A. office?"
"Like we'd tell you!" A white guardsmare screamed as she dove at me from behind. There was a crackle at my belt as the barrier spell stone I'd built snapped to life. The poor, ignorant little pony was zapped and sent flying over the ring of her comrades, who cried out in terror.
"Ah-hah! It was this way," I looked at the most important-looking member of my unwelcome entourage. "Don't you have a fire to handle?" He blinked.
"Fire?" I smirked and slipped a control rod from my coat and pressed the stone on it. Nothing happened. I pressed it again, to a similar effect. The guards shared a look as I groaned and took a few steps back the way we came. Holding my arm out, I firmly hit the stone again and this time there was a distant boom. The guards looked dumbfoundedly in its direction then back at me.
I rolled my hand that way. "The fire which you have a better chance of handling than you do of handling me." They blinked and looked back then wilted in horror at the billowing tower of smoke rising over the city skyline.
"When the princess hears about this-!" The important guard choked as he and his fellows scrambled toward the smoke.
"You bet!" I cheered, waving at him as we parted ways. Walking alone towards the office, I looked it over through my glasses. The magic-sensitive gemstones and lenses immediately revealed a potent magical aura on the second floor. And it sure as hell wasn't Neighsay. I frowned and drew my magic saber before igniting it. As I approached the front door, I dragged the tip of the magical blade along the road. There was a hiss as it burned a thin, shallow cut in the stone.
Then, the aura imploded, which was followed immediately by the sound of teleportation just behind me.
"Hey, Eddy."
"Hey, Starlight!" I whirled around and smiled. "How'd you know I was coming?" She looked me up and down with a frown.
"Didn't really know, but I had a gut feeling you still had a bone to pick with Neighsay, and it looks like I was right."
"Still doesn't explain why you aren't trawling the Everfree with the rest."
"Right. I figured if you were really holed up out there, Twilight and the rest could handle you, especially with Celestia helping out," she smirked. "But I also had a sneaking suspicion that Jury-rig wouldn't roll on you that easy. She just turns herself in after three months of practically worshiping you? Yeah, no." I hummed in approval.
"Bless your incredulity, Starlight. Won't help you here, but it's a delight to see," I waved my saber back and forth.
"Oh, I don't need the help," she replied, her horn lighting up as she condensed her aura. I smirked as she blasted me with all her might. My shield crackled to life and caused her beam to split and flow around me harmlessly. I snorted and chortled, but then my shield wavered as the beam doubled back and danced all over its surface. Starlight took a breath and smirked. "Cause I think you forgot who you used to share your discoveries with." I blanched as the stone on my belt whined and then popped, causing my shield to literally melt away.
"Ah," I said.
"Ah," she replied.
"That's incredible," I declared while manually driving the fencepost into the ground. I wiped my forehead with my wrist. "Your dad really owns that much land, huh?"
"Yup! Daddy's just about the richest pony ever," the little pink filly with the tiara chirped. Cheerilee had asked if I could keep an eye on her now that school had let out, which I agreed to. Luckily, all of Cheerilee's students seemed thrilled by the prospect of having a janitor from another planet, so it was easy to sell her on the idea of sticking with me, her 'alien bodyguard' for a little bit. I looked down at her as she stuck her head through the fence post to look up at me. "Y'know, if bodyguarding's something you're really interested in, I'm sure he's got an opening or two."
She cast a look of disdain back at the schoolhouse. "Definitely pays better than this place." I hummed and nodded as I picked up my hammer.
"I'll keep that in mind," I glanced back at the schoolhouse as well, and seeing how empty the yard was, I frowned. "But hey, where is your dad? School let out a while ago." When I didn't receive an answer after a minute, I looked down at her. I flinched to see her staring sadly off to the side.
"You okay?"
She hummed and shuffled her hooves before sitting on the grass. "Daddy and Mommy are real busy usually, so they usually can't walk me home," she humphed and scowled. "Silver Spoon and I usually walk home together, but she had to go and get sick, and it's against the rules to walk home alone."
"Ah," I sighed. "Well, I could-"
"Diamond Tiara," an older female voice called. We both turned and-
Jesus Christ.
An older mare of a different shade of pink with a purple mane and covered in expensive-looking jewelry was on the other side of the fence. Now, since arriving here a few weeks ago, I'd gotten my fair share of odd looks, but this was a new one.
She studied me with the same revulsion you'd give a diseased rat that crawled out from under a log. I shuddered as she continued to stare me down.
"Hi, Mom!" The filly called and slipped through the fence next to the older mare. Yikes.
"What is this?" The mare demanded, looking down at her daughter.
"This is Mr. Bedlam, the new school janitor and fixer."
"Ah, it's Bedford," I corrected.
"Right! Bedford," the filly declared. Her mother raised an eyebrow and looked back at me.
"I see. We are leaving," she turned and began trotting away.
"Okay! Bye, Mr. Bedford!" The filly waved at me and I returned the gesture.
"Have a good night! See you tomorrow!" For a brief moment, I could have sworn the mare hesitated, but either way, she kept walking. As the pair marched towards the horizon, I returned my attention to the fence and began hammering a few nails into place.
"Gemstones are solid magic, huh," I muttered while reading.
"Yes, that's why they're so numerous and why flawed or cracked gems can explode, as well as why dragons and diamond dogs can eat them," Twilight confirmed before grumbling. "Now, please stay on topic!"
I sighed. "What topic is that?"
"You haven't left your room for three days, Eddy. Except to swap out books on magic," she replied and cast a frown my way which I did my best to ignore. "Just cause you lost that job at the school-"
"For reasons I still don't get, by the by. Ms. Cheerilee just asked me not to come back."
"Right, but that's no reason to just sit in here and sulk."
"I'm going to be free-loading off you anyhow, might as well keep out of the way."
Twilight grumbled and shook her head. "You're not free-loading, Eddy," she moved beside me and placed a hoof on my leg. "And if you're so worried about that, why not just find a new job?"
"Nobody's hiring, even if the signs in their windows say otherwise, so clearly it's a me thing," I said plainly.
"Now that is an interesting little tidbit," I thought as I read on.
"Why would they-"
"Don't know why, don't care why."
Twilight groaned, leaned up on my leg, and nuzzled my arm. "C'mon, Eddy, don't be like that."
"What do you know about runes?" I asked. She sighed hard and nodded.
"Runes are symbols relating to individual specific magical effects that react in magical ways when magic flows along their grooves. Unicorns use them to work higher-tiered spells than they could normally cast," she gave me a grumpy frown. "You can use a 'move' rune to get some extra push out of a levitation spell for a little extra magic than you were already using, for instance."
"Right, so, what if you carved runes in a gemstone to let its magic bleed out? Wouldn't you be able to let the gem's magic do some of the work?" No answer came for a moment and I turned to look at her. I blinked upon seeing she was looking at me in wonder. She furrowed her brow and pulled the book from my table. "Hey-"
"This doesn't even cover that," she said after looking at the title. She fixed me with a serious glare. "Where'd you read that?"
I frowned and took the book back. "Nowhere, it just kind of makes sense. Why? Am I way off the mark?" She blanched and then shook her head vehemently.
"No no no! Not at all, you're actually right on the money!" She tilted her head and looked me up and down. "Gem runes were discovered by Ditch Digger and Brass Shoes a few hundred years ago by accident. And they work exactly the way you're thinking; by letting the magic in a gem flow out along rune grooves carved into the gem itself."
She frowned and hummed. "It's just.. Did you really figure that out on your own? Cause that's usually something we don't learn about until our second year of advanced magic study."
I blinked and looked down at the book. "I guess so?"
"Stop." I let out a full exhale as a groan and slid the gem I was etching across the table. Celestia carefully picked it up with jewelry pliers and closely inspected my runecraft. I put my elbows on the table edge and rested my chin on my hand while glaring at her. Once she was satisfied I wasn't making any unnecessary etchings beyond what the shield spell needed, she nodded and returned the gem to me. "Proceed." I gave her a narrow-eyed smile and snatched the gem out of the pliers before taking my etching tool to it again. Picking up where I left off, I chipped three new grooves in and-
"Stop." I gave her an exasperated leer and looked at the bucket full of gems on my left, then the comparatively tiny piles of finished ones, neatly organized according to their function in the spell.
"The Legion will have ransacked the whole city by the time I'm done if you keep this up," I groused and handed her the gem. I reached over and scratched the side of my leg.
"Perhaps," she retorted with a subdued smile as she inspected my work again. "But at least I'll die knowing you weren't trying anything underhoofed and were making a genuine effort to help."
She nodded and returned the gem to me. "And look at that! Despite your grumbling, we made it through enough for fifteen talismans," she gave me a bright smile. "Excellent work, Mr. Bed-" I raised an eyebrow and she cleared her throat.
"Excellent work, Bedlam." I smiled and then looked at the stack of little stone tablets I'd now have to affix the gems into. I picked one up and carefully inspected the slots each gem had to fit in.
"They were a rush job, but I trust they match your-"
I tossed the stone to her side of the table. "Too small." I grabbed another and tossed it as well. "Wrong shape."
"I-" Another was tossed.
"Too shallow."
"Edward." I looked up at her. "Rather than complain, hadn't you best just correct the flaws?" I laughed hard.
"With this?" I held up my flimsy etching knife and wheezed a laugh. "No. Just use your magic."
Her jaw dropped and she furrowed her brow. "I thought they had to be magically sterile so as not to pollute the flow from one gem to another?"
I snorted and rubbed my eyes with my palm. "That's my old theory. The new one says magic responds to intent and emotion," I knit my fingers together and rested my chin on them. "That's how my animunculi were able to self-replicate. No emotion, and no intent beyond shaping the material."
She blinked and I rolled my hand at her. "Just carefully transfigure the slots to match the gems I've prepped. They need to sit two centimeters in and fit snuggly." She narrowed her eyes but then looked at the stone in front of her. I flicked one gem her way for her to use as an example, and after a moment her horn lit up and the talisman glowed in response. There was a hissing and a crackle as she molded the slots.
She held up the talisman with a severe look. "How's this?" I pursed my lips and leaned close.
"Perfect," I nodded and waved a hand at the other stones, then slid the whole pile her way. "A factory full of golems would be better, but since I'm not getting one of those, why don't you prep all of those and I'll prep some more gems, hm?" She furrowed her brow and frowned, so I leaned forward with a smile.
"Team effort and all." She glowered, but did as I requested, picking up another stone to magically correct. As she did I chuckled and grabbed a handful of gems, making certain to drop them too close to the edge of the table. The noise of the handful clattering masked the noise of two gems falling off the table, which I moved the tip of my boot over.
We worked in silence for a few minutes before I reached down to scratch my leg again. As I did, I carefully picked up the pair of gems and-
"Thank you for picking that up," Celestia said while still molding a talisman. I blinked. "As hectic as things are right now, even leaving a single stray gem for the staff to sweep up could cause undue stress." I met her smile with a raised eyebrow. Slowly, I sat up straight. As I did, I opened my bootcuff with my thumb and dropped one of the gems in.
I smiled and held up the other for her to see. "You know me! Always thinking of the little guy." I studied her reaction closely. She just smiled and returned to her work.
I grinned and returned the gem to the pile. "Easy," I thought.
I traced my finger along the diagram I'd prepared. It was very rough, but showed my idea of setting gems in a wooden tablet. "So we start with a single effect like any given normal rune, but then we add a 'move' rune like this-"
Twilight nodded slowly while looking over what I'd drawn up. "And that sends the magic along the sequence."
"Right. Well, I mean, I hope so. Does this even make sense?"
"Make sense?" She muttered severely, causing me to grimace.
"Well, if it works and I'm right, you could use this method to cast full spells with just gems and-"
I squawked as she threw herself at me, pressing her hooves into my shoulders and nearly knocking me off the couch. "IT'S BRILLIANT!"
"Wh-"
"Eddy, this is completely revolutionary! How did- When did-" She gasped and sat back. "We have to write Celestia."
"I-"
"Come on!" I was yanked off my seat by her magic as she dragged me from the library.
"Hoh! How about that? Wait 'till Jury gets a load of this," I giggled as I looked over the hovercraft blueprints Flim and Flam had given me. They were steamed when I stole the working model they built for me, but now that I'd dumped all that money I stole from Manehattan in their laps, we were gravy again. Not that I'd need much more from those two, but this innovation in magical flight with no other means of propulsion was too rich to pass up!
Hell, the thing hadn't even received a charge in days and it was still able to just hover this high up with no issues while I read the brother's plans. And once Jury gets her hooves on this? Hoh hoh.
"You're first on my list Iggy," I chortled through my teeth. "We'll see how grand that glorified pirate fleet of yours is when my machines-" The hovercraft rocked as something dropped in behind me.
"For a glorified petty thief, you're hardly one to be deriding anyone for thinking too much of themselves." I laughed aloud and looked over my shoulder at my unwelcome passenger.
"Hello, Discord," I purred. The draconequus was lounging in the wide rear seat with his claws behind his head. He either wasn't in range or didn't notice the spectacular danger he was in. If the latter was true, it confirmed my theory that what I'd made was practically undetectable. "How'd they convince you to come after me?"
"Fluttershy begged me to finally put an end to your little tantrum," he yawned. "And when they told me you've stooped to bank robbery, well!"
He draped his arm over his forehead. "As a former A-list villain, I couldn't bear the idea of allowing you to go on ruining the craft," he gave me an unimpressed leer. "Honestly, villains used to have standards."
I snorted. "Who asked?" I stood up and stretched. "But! I know when I'm licked."
"Not even going to try one of your silly toys?" Discord groaned and slithered to his hooves. "Fine! I guess I'll just-"
I whirled around. "Apprehend me! Yes," he flinched and raised an eyebrow at me. I held my wrists out and grinned wide. "Go ahead. Take me in." For a delicious few moments, the quiet hum of the hovercraft and the gentle breeze were the only sounds.
Discord looked me up and down. "What?" I thrust my wrists at him, causing him to recoil and hold up a claw.
"Go on! Apprehend me!" My grin widened and my breathing intensified. He took a step back onto the edge of the craft.
"Wh-" He scowled and narrowed his eyes. "What have you done?"
I gasped and brought a hand to my chest. "Why! Surely nothing that could perturb the Great Discord," I bowed to him with my other hand outstretched. He snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Whatever," he snapped his claw. Or at least tried to. Instead, as his talons snapped, he hissed and then threw his head back. "YEEEEOW!" He tumbled back and nearly fell, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back in.
"Careful!" I leaned in close. "It's an awful long way down." He hissed and clutched the arm I had.
"What- AH- What IS this?!"
I chortled hard and opened my coat, revealing a gemless talisman hanging off my belt that was currently glowing bright. "I heard about your little escapade in the Changeling Hive from Starlight," I hummed, basking in the terror the almighty spirit wore. "Some ancient rock was able to neutralize even your magic." My smile widened and I laughed.
"So! I figured since I can already use alchemy for all kinds of fun stuff, and I can already duplicate spells with gems, why not see if I could alchemize something similar to the changeling throne?" His eyes went wide. "Now, making something that neutralizes all magic we found wasn't feasible. That throne must have been naturally occurring since all our attempts ruined our magically powered equipment. But against one specific type of magic? A type that already has proved to have very specific counters?"
I huffed and pulled him into a one-armed hug. "A magic you're always showing off and giving everyone plenty of chances to collect data on? Hoh hoh!" I pressed my forehead to his. "That might just work."
"How's this thing work?" The silver guardmare captain groused as she shook the leg my shield talisman was affixed to. I rolled my eyes, brought my leg up, and kicked at her. She squealed and cowered, before blinking and looking at the defensive bubble around her.
"It works in response to velocity," I explained, tapping the bubble. "Fast thing comes your way, rock senses it and puts this up."
She blinked. "Ooooh." The other guards watching inspected their talismans and gave similar sounds of realization.
I smiled and held up a hand. "Now, bear in mind the phrasing! Fast thing comes your way, barrier pops up," I bent down and slowly grabbed the guardmare by the scruff of her neck. She squeaked as I hefted her up. "Slow thing comes your way, it slides right through."
The guards nodded in sync, still studying their new tools, but a certain blue pegasus snapped her wings out. "What?! Bogus!" She beat her wings and zipped up to me. "You had all kinds of shields and bubbles at your dopey citadel! All those dumb robots had 'em too!"
She narrowed her eyes. "Why're you only giving them these lame super specific ones?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Because to make my more advanced tools, I need more materials than Twilight is willing to give me, proper support from a trained professional, and ideally a moderate amount of my animunculi, not dumb robots, to handle the delicate assembly," I dropped the guardsmare and flicked Rainbow on the nose. "That's why." Rainbow rubbed her nose and growled, but before she could try anything she was pulled by by her tail.
"Alright! Alright!" Applejack said with her teeth clamped. Once she pulled Rainbow back, she released her and stepped between us. "Fella's rotten, sure, but he's gotta point and did what we asked. Let's not spoil a nice thing, now." She smiled at Rainbow, who huffed, then turned to leer at me.
"Reckon we oughta let Twi know."
I hummed and leaned over her with a smile. "Reckon we should."
"God, this was a bad idea," I murmured, wringing my hands. I got a glimpse of my reflection in the office door's window, so I took the opportunity to adjust my tie and hair. Then, a white wing smacked my back.
"Oh, stop fussing!" Celestia laughed. "You look fine, and you'll do fine." I turned to give her a nervous look, then noticed my case on the headmaster's desk. I slipped past her to make sure all the samples Twilight, Starlight, and I prepped were still fine. The three mares rolled their eyes and giggled, but I didn't want to mess this up.
"How many ponies did you say there'd be?" I asked while making sure the gems hadn't fallen out of any talismans.
Celestia hummed and tilted her head. "Most of the teachers from my school for unicorns and their classes, as well as scholars from afar." I shuddered.
"Yeah! You'll finally get to meet Sunburst, Eddy!" Starlight asked. "News about your new model and this presentation even reached the Crystal Empire." I gently spread my hands on the desk and took a breath.
"See, I'm not even a professional wizard, so shouldn't you be the one to do this?" I turned to Twilight with a hopeful smile. "Without me?"
She rolled her eyes and reared up on the desk next to me. "No chance, buddy. This is your work. I'll help you demonstrate, but I want you to be center stage." I grimaced, but she placed a hoof on my hand and gave me a reassuring smile. I took another breath and nodded before closing the case.
A knock came at the door just before it was pushed open. An older bearded stallion with slicked-back hair and a cloak stepped in. "Pardon the interruption, but I was hoping-" He looked me up and down then scanned the room. "Where is Mr. Bedlam? I was hoping to speak with him about his model."
"Good evening, Chancellor Neighsay," Celestia greeted as she stepped next to me and held her wing open. "He's right here. Ah, and it's Bedford." The stallion blinked and furrowed his brow at me.
Celestia turned to me. "Edward, this is Chancellor Neighsay, the head of the Equestria Education Association, the ponies who handled putting this all together." I hummed and smiled at him.
"Gotcha. Nice to meet you."
"This is is Mr. Bedlam?"
I frowned. "Bedford." He raised an eyebrow.
"I see. I was under the impression it was a pony who made this discovery," he looked me up and down again. "You wouldn't happen to be the same Bedford that Ms. Cheerilee in Ponyville allowed within her classroom, would you?" I winced at his enunciation but nodded.
"Up until recently, yes."
"Is there a problem, Chancellor?" Twilight asked. He kept his eyes locked on me.
"We received a notice of his presence from a concerned parent in Ponyville and elected to investigate," he shot Twilight a critical leer. "She should have consulted us before allowing such a strange creature anywhere near her wards, but that's since been handled." My jaw dropped and my breathing slowed.
"You-"
"You got him fired?!" Starlight snapped, pushing past me. "What gives?!" I grabbed the desk and stared at the guy.
"Why would you do such a thing?" Twilight demanded.
"Yes, Chancellor, if you could enlighten us as to what your thought process was?" Celestia added with a severe look. Neighsay nodded at her.
"My thought process was that we were operating within our authority when it comes to addressing the fears of a parent and the security of their foal," he raised an eyebrow at her. "If we overstepped our bounds, you may feel free to bring it before the board. But it is hardly illegal for a parent to raise concerns about who or what is allowed near their foals."
I clenched my teeth. "You-"
"But again, that must be brought before the board, Your Majesty," he bowed and turned for the door. "You must excuse me, however."
"Hold on!" Twilight cried, but the chancellor was already out the door. She whirled around to look at Celestia. "What is his problem?!"
Celestia sighed and shook her head. "He's.. a bit old-fashioned, but the rest of the board favors him," she brushed my back with her wing and smiled. "Don't let him get to you."
I drummed my fingers on the table with one hand and opened the talisman cast with the other. Looking over what we'd made, I shrugged. "It's fine."
"Good to hear! Thank you, Eddy," Twilight chirped, nodding her head at me. "So all the guards in the castle have one now, right?"
"Correct," I plainly replied, looking at the Elements gathered around me in the throne room. I brought my hand up and inspected my nails. "Now that defense is squared away, maybe we could talk offense?"
"Why? So you can create and sneak some dastardly implement away to backstab us with?" Rarity accused, jabbing me with a hoof. "HM?"
I smiled at her and ruffled her mane. "No, ah, so we can ideally blow one of Tirek's arms off when he arrives." She pulled herself away with a soulful shriek and collapsed, writhing on the floor. I wheezed a laugh at the sight before a wing smacked me in the head.
"Be nice," Twilight chided, hovering next to me.
"FFffffiEEEnd," Rarity moaned, desperately dragging a brush through her hair. "TWIlight, deSTROY hi-hi-him!" Fluttershy gently moved to her side and petted her back while frowning at me. Despite her, I could hear Rainbow snorting and holding back laughter behind me.
"So!" I tinted my fingers and grinned at Twilight. "About our options for offense?"
She hummed and looked at one of the windows. "If you want, you can draw something up and present it in the morning." I raised an eyebrow and looked out the window to see the sun was rapidly setting. "There's been no sign of the Legion yet, so we should all try to get some sleep while we still can." I groaned and threw my hands up.
"Fine! I'll have something for you tomorrow."
Twilight beamed. "Great! Applejack, bring some stuff to write and draw with to Eddy's cell."
I choked. "Cell?!"
"Yeah, in the dungeon," Rainbow jeered.
"Where it's easier for the guards to keep an eye on you," Twilight chirped.
"WHERE YOU BELONG!" Rarity roared. I stammered and grumbled as Twilight pushed me toward the doors with her magic. The doors flew open and a pair of pony guards, including the silver mare from earlier, appeared and began ushering me out.
As the guardsmare pressed her head to the back of my leg, I swept my arm out to try and bat her away, only for her barrier to pop up and zap my hand. "AHAGH!" I recoiled and tumbled over.
"Hey! It really works!" The guardsmare cheered as she and her companion grabbed my arms and dragged me out.
"Good night, Eddy!" Twilight called. I snarled, roared, hissed, and kicked in response.
I leaned back on the park bench with my legs stuck out. Starlight and Twilight sat on either side of me in angry silence. Twilight reached over and held my hand with her hoof.
"One hour away from starting and they just cancel the whole thing?!" Starlight groused. "I oughta.. OOH." She shook her head with a snort.
"They were paying for it and all, so that's their right, I guess," I replied, tilting my head back. Starlight's ears shot back and Twilight whined.
"Eddy.."
"Oh yeah, I completely spaced it," I looked over at Twilight. "After we left, did Celestia mention to you how research into reversing what happened is going?"
She blinked and then frowned. "No, just that she was going to talk with the E.E.A." Her ears folded back. "I.. could go ask her if you want."
I smiled and rubbed her hoof with my thumb. "I'd appreciate it. Some news other than bad'd be nice." She gave me a sad frown before nodding and flying towards the castle. I took a breath and stared at the cloudy sky again. The clopping of hooves on the road brought my attention back down.
"Let's just go ahead and get our tickets home," Starlight grumbled.
I waved my hand and shook my head. "You go ahead. I need some time to think." She frowned but nodded and trotted off towards the train station. I took a deep breath and let it out in a shudder before draping my arm over my eyes. The wind and the occasional sunlight warming my skin were my only companions for a few minutes.
"Uhm, excuse me," I looked down to see a pale-blue unicorn mare with an orange mane nervously smiling at me. She waved her hoof. "Hi!"
"Hello."
"Uhm," her ears snapped back and she scrunched up her muzzle before looking around. I managed to catch a glimpse of her cutie mark, which was a wrench over a pale green star. "I uh."
"Yeah?"
She cleared her throat and sat on the ground. "I was just wondering if uhm, you were Mr. Bedlam?" She nervously tapped her forehooves together.
I scowled. "Bedford, God damn it." She wilted.
"Bedford! Right! Sorry," she swallowed and looked around again. "So, you were the one giving the presentation today, right?"
I groaned and draped my arm over my face again. "Yeah."
"Awesome! I mean! Not that it got canceled! That sucks, just.." she whined and murmured. "I heard about it from Pinkie and was hoping to hear what you came up with."
I looked at her with a furrowed brow. She was tapping her hooves again. "It sounded really neat!"
"You know Pinkie?"
She nodded with a bright smile. "Mhm! Though, I think everypony in Ponyville knows Pinkie," she giggled then extended her hoof. "I'm Jury-rig, by the way."
I shook her hoof. "Edward Bedford," she smiled, and after a moment I returned the gesture. "Y'know, if you want I could just talk with you about what I made."
She beamed and clapped her hooves. "Really?!" I nodded.
"Sure thing."
As the moonlight streamed through my cell window, I looked over my designs. In form, it was similar to a handgun from home. In function, it applied nothing but pure forward momentum to the air at the end of its 'barrel.'
In theory, the blast it created would punch through most physical defenses. But with one little addition that wasn't noted in my design, it would go even further than that. If my secret alteration worked, I was confident the blast could stop a raging alicorn dead in her tracks.
To use a purely poetic phrase, I hoped. Dead.. wasn't exactly my intention, after all.
Using my canines, I continued to etch the rune I needed for the alteration into the gem I'd pilfered, inspecting it occasionally to make sure I was still on track. It was slow going, as I kept peeking up at the window to see if a certain nocturnal alicorn was spying on me. I assumed if she had caught me I'd already be fried, but as I continued my work and the lure of sleep set in, I wondered if she hadn't decided to deal with my treachery in her realm.
Satisfied with my work for the evening, I hid my secret weapon in my boot, climbed into my cot, and decided to test that theory.
After a brief moment, the wall to the Ponyville jail had a neat little hole cut into it. The circular chunk I'd sliced fell inwards with a heavy thud, allowing me to step inside. I smiled at the lonely little inmate who looked up at me in wonder.
"Hey, 'lil lady! You come here often?"
"Bedlam!" Jury squealed as she galloped up and hugged my leg. "I knew you'd be back!"
"'Course you did. I promised, didn't I?"
The door to the cells creaked open. "What was that?!" A guard came galloping in, sliding to a stop when he saw me. "Y-! you."
I drew one of the last remaining stun spell talismans. "Me." With a click, the guard was blasted and knocked out cold. Jury and I stepped back out into the moonlit yard around the jail before slinking away. After just a few minutes we made it to the school and slipped inside the toolshed I knew wasn't locked. It had been broken for months, but Cheerilee never had a chance to fix it. I was going to handle it for her the day she dismissed me.
Woopsie-daisy.
I pulled the light string and lit the shed up so we could talk. "So, did they say anything about the lair?"
Jury nodded. "They came back like you said they would. I told them you probably realized I was betraying you so you were clearing out, like you said I should."
I patted her head. "Good girl. What then?"
She hummed and leaned into my hand before responding. "The guard told them you were attacking Canterlot, so they rushed up there. Like you said they would."
I inhaled through my teeth and pumped my fists. "EASY!" I let my breath out in a cackle. Jury smiled and giggled but then blinked and looked off to the side.
"So.. Did you do it?"
I chortled and sighed. "Do what?"
"Uhm.. Neighsay.. Did you.." She shuffled her hooves and her ears shot back. "Ki.. Get him?"
I choked. "I wasn't going to kill him!"
"You weren't?"
"No! I was going to burn all the E.E.A.'s records and books!" I shook my fist northward. "Let's see how they like having to start from scratch!"
She raised a hoof and blinked. "O-oh!" I scowled down at her.
"Listen, the guy has more in common with a rat than any pony I've ever seen, in looks and personality, but that doesn't mean I'm down to kill him," I smirked and scratched her ears. "I've still got a soft spot for all you adorable little idiots." Again, she leaned into my hand and giggled.
"So, you burned their archives?"
I scowled and folded my arms, drawing a curious squeak from Jury. "Unfortunately, no. Starlight intervened and I had to detonate some of my tools just to get away. So much for my grand temporary farewell to Equestria!"
"Darn!" Jury grumbled before giving me a sympathetic smile. "Well, at least we got the important stuff out!"
I waved my hand. "Pfft, please. The real silver lining is they left you so poorly guarded," I smirked and scooped her up. "You and I can just rebuild, but I think I'd go crazy without you." She blushed and smiled.
I rolled her and held her under my arm before pushing to door open. I thrust my pointing arm south. "Let's get a move on. We got a long trip ahead of us!" I carried her out into the yard and made my way to the road.
She looked up at me. "After we collect the animunculi and our tools, we're going south, right?"
"Correct. Why? Did you learn something about the southern lands?"
She frowned and nodded. "Mhm. Some of those mob ponies we've been selling explosive potions to said there's a warlord taking everything over."
"Shouldn't be a problem. We can talk to that Verko twerp and-"
"With a fleet of airships. He also recently took over Klugetown."
I sucked air through my teeth. "Oh."
I tucked the blank papers as well as those I'd used to draw my weapon plans into my coat before following the guards to the dining room. Technically, I was called for breakfast twenty minutes ago, but I realized I'd fallen into my habit of making things for me and so needed a few minutes to make an altered version of my weapon for ponies to us.
This was, of course, only partially a lie. It was entirely intentional for me to make it for myself. All goes well, I'd be using it to engage my hostile take-over once the B-listers were in the ground.
My plan was simple. It was plainly obvious that power was already being handed to Twilight, so taking her hostage was an easy checkmate as far as the politicians went. Add in the presence of the Bell, and I had an easy means of neutralizing Celestia and Luna. Discord was already a non-issue, and there was little to fear from the girls if I managed to capture Twilight.
It was just a matter of timing.
"You're late," Twilight groused as the guards held the doors open for me.
"Have a good reason for it this time, though!" I declared as I strode to the table.
She frowned. "This time?" I stopped and blinked.
"Never mind," I looked around the room and saw it was just her at one end of a long table which was set with only one plate of pancakes. She had a mug of coffee she was occasionally sipping from. "Just us?"
She hummed. "Like I said, you're late and nopony wanted to wait on you. Plus, Celestia and Luna said something came up before they teleported out." She sipped her coffee and sighed. I raised an eyebrow, as this was the first time I'd really gotten a look at her.
Her coat was frayed in places, and her mane wasn't much better. She also had heavy bags under her eyes.
"Rough night?" She nodded as I took my seat. I hummed and reached into my coat, hesitating as the guards who stood on either side of my chair pointed their spears at me. Twilight rolled her eyes and waved them down with a wing, allowing me to draw my plans and hand them to her. "Here is what kept me so long."
"Later, Eddy. I'm still waking up." I flinched and stared at her. That was a tone I wasn't used to hearing from her.
"Fair enough," I dropped the papers and dug into my plate. Twilight took a breath and then threw back her whole mug. She shuddered as she swallowed and then exhaled.
All at once, her demeanor shifted. "So! How're you doing?" She said, beaming.
"Fine."
Her eye twitched and her expression fell. "You always say that," she frowned at me and sighed. "Eddy, how are you really?"
I rolled my eyes. "Eager for this to be over so I can get back to what matters."
She hummed and tilted her head. "And what's that?"
"My machines. My work. My art," I raised an eyebrow at her and tapped my fork on my plate. "Hopefully with you there to see them and not smash them."
She blinked and looked off to the side. "Oh. Well," she shrugged and smiled at me. "Yeah, I kind of want that too."
She scowled. "In a legal and nondestructive environment, of course." I gave her a narrow-eyed smile.
"Of course," I leaned back and hummed. "Speaking of, what happened to all my animunculi? Surely they didn't all explode?"
"Most of them did, since we blasted that," she scrunched her muzzle. "What was it again?"
"The Crystal Mind."
She smiled and nodded. "Right! Since we blasted that with the Elements, any of your things receiving signals from it got fried too," she sighed and giggled at which I grumbled. Her laughter turned to a yawn. And there was my door. "But you had plenty of golems in storage that weren't active, so those ones didn't get blown up."
"And what happened to them?"
She yawned again and hummed. "Oh, we brought them back to Can-" She squawked and her wings snapped out. "CAAAAAN them! Seal them in CANS! Which we then dumped in a big pit and set on fire!" She gave me a wide, toothy smile.
I snarled and pounded my hand on the table. "WHY?! They were still perfectly functional!"
"Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. Buy-"
"Eddy, please don't."
"Damn it."
I grumbled a sigh and folded my arms. "What exactly is it you don't want me to do?" I held my hand out and frowned. "Suggest that they'd be very useful for defending the city."
She groaned and threw her head back for a moment. "You-"
A guard burst into the room and came galloping up to Twilight's side. "Princess Twilight! Celestia and Luna have returned and are in the throne room. Come quick!"
Twilight stammered. "Wh- Okay! Come on, Eddy!"
I shook my head in bewilderment. "He asked for you." I waved her off and leaned back in my seat. "I'm not getting out of this chair!" I squawked as she hefted me and the chair up in her magic and dragged me out of the room.
We sped along down the corridors until finally we arrived at the throne room where-
"BEDLAM!" A pair of unicorns, one light blue and the other dark purple and missing her horn were waiting.
Twilight came to a screeching halt, launching me out of my seat. I landed on my chest, but rapidly scrambled to my feet and raced forward. "Jury! Tempest!"
"Stop." I was immediately snared in Celestia's magic and held stock still. I grimaced as best I could and glared at her as she stepped between me and my closest allies. Said allies were currently in shackles and magic restraints. Well, Jury was anyway.
They'd simply removed the prosthetic horn I built for Tempest.
The sight was enough to redouble my hissing, snarling efforts to break free of Celestia's grip. To no effect, purely due to the fact I hadn't had a full meal yet.
"Let him go!" Jury squealed. "You've had him locked up long enough!" Tempest meanwhile just scowled at Celestia and Luna.
Rainbow huffed and looked between me and the girls. "Where the heck'd you find these two anyway?"
Celestia looked over her shoulder at Rainbow. "They set off one of the wards inside the door to Tartarus," she turned back to me and raised an eyebrow. "Seems they developed a device capable of breaching the gates."
"We were working on the drill for months," Tempest spat, drawing everyone's attention to her. "But Jury-rig was making plans for it within a week of Lord Bedlam's capture."
She gave me a sad look and bowed her head. "Forgive me, sir. I should have been more careful." I grumbled a response as best I could, as I was still frozen in Celestia's grasp.
Jury sniffled and lay on the floor. "Mean old nags." Luna shuddered and let out a low moan as she slowly turned to glare at her.
"To Tartarus, sister?" She darkly murmured. "They were so eager for entry after all." I gurgled and screamed as best I could, which had the desired effect of getting Celestia to release me after rolling her eyes. The eye roll was planned as well.
I fell to my knees and then scrambled up, throwing my pointing arm at them and resting my other hand on my hip. "Jury! Tempest!" They snapped to attention. "A trio of B-listers are currently en route to destroy Equestria! We are aiding the new monarch in defense of her realm!"
"Okay!" Jury chirped.
Tempest tilted her head. "As you wish?"
I spun and bowed at Twilight. "They're in."
She scowled. "No." My jaw and arms dropped.
"Bu-" She held up a wing.
"We are going to discuss letting them help," she gestured to the rest. "Personally I think they could be a big help, but I know you." She jabbed a damning hoof at me.
"So, for now, they're going to the dungeon," she frowned. "A different wing of the dungeon." I grit my teeth and glared at her. She met my eyes with a glare of her own. After a moment I exhaled hard.
"Fine," I stood off to the side as the guards came and led Tempest and Jury away, the latter of whom whined and looked back at me as they left. As Twilight stepped passed me to begin talking with her friends, I hummed and held my stomach. "Don't think those pancakes are sitting right."
They looked back at me. Pinkie humphed. "Wouldn't surprise me! I made sure they were plain, but they still had sugar in 'em!" She scowled. "And you probably get food poisoning from sweet things." I slowly blinked at her before looking at Twilight.
I gestured to the door. "May I?" She looked me up and down for a moment before nodding at one of the guards. Once again I was led through the castle until we came to the bathroom. The guard moved to follow me in until I began to undo my belt at which point he grimaced and scrambled back outside.
Once I was alone, I retrieved the hair-removing potion from my coat and emptied it in the toilet. Setting the empty bottle aside quietly, I drew a blank sheet of paper and pen and quickly scribed down my plan as well as the presence of the inactive animunculi somewhere in the city. Once my note was complete, I rolled it up and stuffed it in the bottle which I corked and hid in my coat once more.
Taking a breath and leering at myself in the mirror, I strode out the door.
It took a month and a half of communication through proxies and letters, but we were finally having our peace talk after almost a year of petty skirmishes. He'd done the hard part of clearing this little valley of any potential nuisances, leaving me to bring the table and chairs. He'd done a predictably shoddy job, as there were plenty of buzzing insects creeping through the tall grass around us.
"Hello, Ignatius!" I called and waved. The grey-skinned satyr leaped up from his seat and pounded his fists on the table.
"THE STORM KING! JUST. THE STORM KING," Iggy roared. He thrust three fingers at me. "THREE WORDS! EASY! Rolls off the tongue! For crying out loud!" He threw his white furred head back into his hands, clenched his teeth, and screeched.
Then, he sat down, neatly folded his hands on the table, and smiled. "So! How's every little thing?" I smiled back and scanned the line of yeti-like Storm Beast officers just behind him who were scowling and beating their weapons into their hands. Tempest, just to his left, snorted at me when she met my eyes. I looked over my shoulder at Jury-rig who gulped at the sight of the large creatures.
"Hey," I looked up at Iggy, who now wore an annoyed glower. "You wanted to talk, so talk."
He knit his fingers together and rested his chin on them. "You finally ready to become my commander and lend me those super keen robots?"
I smiled and folded my hands on the table. "No."
He scowled and leaned back in his seat. "So what then?"
"You're canceling the invasion of Equestria I heard you've been planning." He flinched held a hand over his mouth and then turned to his commanders who met his look with fearful ones of their own.
Then they started cackling. As they did, some of the grass shuddered and the insects went silent or flew away. I smiled as Iggy wiped a tear and shook his head.
He pointed a finger at Tempest. "Last time I listen to you," he sighed and kicked his feet up onto the table. "Canceling huh? Why's that?"
"It's mine. Rest of the planet is too, but that's a later thing. So, I'm fine with you bumming around the rest of the world for a little longer."
"Pfft! OH-kay!" He chortled and jabbed his thumb at me while looking at a commander. "You believe this guy?" The grass shuddered again.
wiiiiii
"Okay!" He slammed his hands on the table and stood. "Here's what's really going down." His commanders began to file out and encircle the table, making their way to me. Jury whimpered and grabbed my arm.
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Some of his commanders stopped and looked around the field. Tempest stared straight ahead at me while Iggy paced his end of the table. "You're coming with me back to the Storm Isles where you're going to whip up some of those fancy drones of yours! Or just about anything else I need," he whirled around and jabbed a finger at Jury. "And she's going to the mines." Jury cried out as he raised his finger before scowling and looking around.
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"The heck is that sound?"
I smiled. "Incentive." What followed stuck with me for months.
POP POP POP POP POP POP
"HEEEAYGH" Iggy squealed and threw himself over. Jury also cried out and buried her face in my sleeve while Tempest shuddered at the sight of the commanders suddenly collapsing with smoking bloody holes in their skulls. A few of them continued to writhe, including Iggy who was screaming and clutching his face.
"No time for regrets," I thought. With a shuddering breath, I shook off the sight of my work as well as Jury and rushed around the table.
"That's amazing!" I chirped as I loomed over his moaning form. "There's enough explosive glue in these to pop a hole in a steel helmet! And yet all your heads are still on. I knew Storm Beasts were tough, but woo lad!"
He rolled over and looked up at me with his one remaining eye, his hand clutching his blasted face. "Temp- AH- Tempest!" He shook his hand at me. "K-kill- Kill him!" I smiled and leered back at Tempest, who scanned the injured and dying commanders before humming.
"I don't know, Your Excellency," she said as she slowly moved to my side. "I think we might be outgunned on this one. My mistake."
Iggy winced and moaned. "You- houuu.. What?" He looked between us as Tempest smiled down at him and then pointed a finger at her. "You.. You set this meeting up.. Con- urr... Convinced me to.. When did he?"
"Cornered her in Klugetown while she was on patrol," I explained with my hands folded behind my back. "But Jury was keeping an eye on her for way before that. Part of how I figured out why she was working for you."
"What can I say? He made a compelling argument about switching sides," she leaned in. "And he actually had something tangible to back up his promise." I chortled as Iggy gurgled and rested his head on the ground.
Wiiiiiii
He clenched his remaining teeth and looked at me. "What.. What is that?" I smiled and held up my hand before inputting a sequence on my gem-covered glove. As I unfolded my hand, a very tiny circular disk came hovering in and rested in my palm. All around me, a dozen or so rose from the grass and flew in a circle around us. Jury came up and sat down on the table just next to me, and looked up with pride at our work.
"You've seen my drones. You know roughly how they work. Big ol' propellors spinning to keep them afloat," I bent at the knees and held the drone in my palm to him. "These on the other hand use magic to fly. And since magic has no size relative to its power, we can make 'em tiny and hard to see. Like a swarm of wasps! Then we can fill them with something nasty, like poison or alchemically produced explosives! Just gotta set 'em up with a deployment method then."
I turned the drone over to display the top of it. "In this case, they just ram you topside first, where this firing pin is," I grinned. "POP." His snarled lip quivered and he groaned.
I stood up and looked at the drone in my hand. "'Course, they still got that little range problem all my animunculi suffer from. Have to be close to give them new orders or change old ones, but that flaw won't be an issue soon. Especially now with your resources at my disposal."
I looked him in the eye and smiled. "We're going to ride out and let your boys know how things are now. They work for me," I closed my hand before flinging the drone into the air. It bobbed for a minute before correcting itself and hovering in a circle around me. "Shouldn't be too hard, but on the off chance there's anyone out there who actually cared about you, we got these little beauties to HAH help 'em clear their heads."
"W-" Four more drones circled me and then went still, lining up with his face. He whimpered and held up his hand. "Wait!"
"I'm not stupid, Iggy," I bent over him and the drones followed. "I never liked you, but I just never had a chance to really put a pin in you. That's done and over, and y'know what's so poetic and rich about that?" I held up my hand, my thumb pressed against my index and middle fingers.
"Oh ho ho! Did you hear what Maple said?" I blinked and looked up from my desk. Despite the fact it was against the wall of my room, it was now in the middle of an extended nail salon. On the other side sat Discord in a pink poofy wig and extended eyelashes, painting the talons on his claws.
Wait. No.
My hands were moving on their own and painting them for him.
I blinked slowly and sighed. "No, what did Maple say?"
He pulled one of his claws free and waved it at me. "Well~! She said that Davenport said that Davenport's sister said-"
"Discord, I was in the middle of something."
"That Filthy Rich has been telling ponies not to hire you," my jaw dropped. He clapped the tips of his claws. "I know~! Isn't that just awful~? OH, can you imAGine?"
I scowled and shook my head. "Yeah, whatever. Can I get back to work now?" I looked down at my notes only to sigh as my papers were now a tiny, origami Discord.
"Don't you believe me?" The tiny Discord asked.
With a groan, I rest my head on my hand. "No?" I flicked him and sent him flying off my desk with a yelp. Then, I was nearly thrown off my chair as he pressed his forehead to the side of my head from the opposite direction I'd sent him flying.
"A very fair stance, but I can prove it."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "And if I let you, will you leave me alone?"
He cackled. "With your thoughts? Certainly." He slithered away from me and grabbed my wall that had been replaced before pulling it back like a curtain. On the other side was now a balcony with brass statues of a nude me on either side, as well as a telescope pointed toward Ponyville. With a sigh, I stepped up to the telescope and looked through it. "You'll need this as well." He shoved the narrow end of a long brass funnel into my ear and pointed the broad end in the same direction the telescope was set.
The telescope focused for a minute before revealing Filthy Rich and a pair of other stallions with whom I was vaguely acquainted. They were at one of the fancy restaurants in town, having a meal outside. Then, the funnel began to pick up sound.
"So'd you hear what happened with Bedlam?" Rich said. "The E.E.A. canceled his presentation."
"No kidding? Any idea why?" One of the other ponies asked.
"Spoiled heard it was cause the Chancellor determined he was dangerous," Rich replied.
"He thinks that about every creature," the third pony retorted before humming. "Then again, he might be right on this case. I did some digging with my distributor up in Canterlot, and it turns out he's the result of some kind of magical mishap!"
Rich slammed his hoof with a smirk. "Hah! See? And you said my wife was just being paranoid!"
"That's crazy!" The second gasped. "And the princess is just letting him roam free?"
"Not free!" The third retorted. "Princess Twilight's got him in her castle."
"But they're still letting him roam unattended and petition our businesses!" The second nodded at Rich. "Good call on everypony stonewalling him!" Rich smirked in response. The telescope was suddenly sent spinning and smacked me in the chin. As I recoiled and looked up, I saw Discord lounging atop it.
"Well?" He purred.
I shrugged. "Yeah, ponies don't like me. Big shock."
He shook his head in surprise. "You.. What?"
I returned to my desk and scowled at him. "I'm not stupid, Discord. I pay attention, and unlike you? I can take a hint." I collected my notes off the ground and returned my focus to them, paying no mind as the entire balcony vanished without a trace.
After a few minutes, and once I was certain he was gone, I exhaled hard and held my head in my hands.
"Hey, Starlight, Twilight!" I yelled through the library door into the hall. "C'mere a sec! Bring Spike too, he'll like this!" I rubbed my hands and returned to the table where my creation sat. I began checking all the joints and gems while glancing over my shoulder at the door periodically. After a few minutes, Starlight came in.
"Hey, Spike's helping Rarity and Twi- Whoa," she recoiled at the sight of what I'd made. "What, uh, what's that?"
I slid to the side and swept my arms at it. "A humanoid golem!"
She tilted her head and frowned. "Huma-what?"
"Humanoid. Two arms, two legs, shaped like a human, you know?"
She blinked and looked at it again. Sure enough, it was a three-foot-tall wooden dummy in the shape of a man with rune-covered gems all through its chest, head, and limbs. "Oh! Gotcha," she stepped closer and examined it carefully. "Where'd it come from?"
"Jury and I designed it!" I looked at the door, still rubbing my hands together with giddiness. "Where's Twilight?"
"Why's this have so many gems in it? Golems only need one. And where'd you get all the magic to fuel it?"
I clapped and chortled. "Easy! Jury and I realized that if we use my model for spell flow through multiple gems, we can use less magic to fuel it!" I traced my finger through the air over each gem. "It gets better though! A normal golem only has one gem handling all its actions, keeping it from adapting or doing anything too complex unless you pump more magic into it."
She nodded. "Right?"
"If you notice, all these gems have runes which lets them each handle specific functions like mobility, grabbing stuff, and so on," I tapped one of the gems in its claw. "Which means what?" I looked at her expectantly. She tapped her chin as she considered it.
Then she gasped. "It can handle complicated commands for less magic, too!"
I beamed. "Bingo."
She looked at the golem with wonder and a big smile. "This is so cool! It's.. It's barely even a golem! It's way more advanced!"
"Right you are! Which is why Jury and I workshopped a new term for it!" I theatrically waved my hands apart. "'The Animunculus.' Sort of an amalgamation of a word we had back home."
"Animunculus.. hm," she tapped her chin and smirked at me. "Better be careful, Eddy. Tampering with such high magic could get you in trouble."
I blanched and gazed wide-eyed at her. "What?"
She peeped and waved her hoof. "No no no! I was joking." She gave me a reassuring smile. I frowned and huffed.
"What did that even mean?"
She whimpered and sighed. "Look, it's technically true, but Jury's licensed for advanced magic like golems and stuff. And since she's helping with it, it'll be fine!"
"Licensed?"
She shrugged. "Well, yeah. Golems, animation spells, and anything that creates some semblance of life have to be regulated. Otherwise-"
"Hi, Mr. Bedlam!" Came a chorus of little voices. I nearly jumped out of my skin and whirled around to see Twilight, Cheerilee, and her class at the door to the library. I sighed hard as the kids giggled at me.
"Hey, kids! What-"
Twilight fluttered up next to me. "Ms. Cheerilee and I planned a field trip for her class to my castle to learn about its connections to the Tree of Harmony and all," she nudged me and whispered. "Plus, the class really wanted to see you again." She winked, then glanced at my animunculus.
"Whaaaat's that?" She asked with stars in her eyes.
"That looks cool!" Twist cried.
"It's a robot!" Snips added.
"Whoa!" Another student squealed. The class all came galloping up and formed a semi-circle around me, Starlight, and my golem. I held up my hands and looked at Cheerilee.
She smiled and nodded. "Well, it looks like you've whipped up something pretty interesting! Why don't you tell us about it?"
"Yeah!" The class cried.
"Please," Twilight desperately murmured, hovering around it as she did.
"Wait till Daddy hears about this!" I flinched and slowly looked over to see Tiara and Silver Spoon giggling before giving me their full attention. My breath hitched and I swallowed.
"Eddy?" I blinked and turned to see Starlight looking up at me. She nudged her head at the expectant class. I exhaled and nodded.
"Alright! So.."
The next steps would require a delicate touch, but this was already a fantastic development.
The guard led me back to the throne room in silence and once we were in I-
Flinched, scowled and thrust a pointing finger forward. "You." The Pillars of Equestria, the Elements, and two of the three alicorns turned to glare at me.
"Eddy," Twilight said with a warning tone.
"Ah, the petty warlock," Starswirl groused. "I heard you'd involved him." He looked me up and down, but my attention was firmly on the scrawnier unicorn just beside him who was avoiding my gaze. I tried to step forward but the guard at my side moved in front of me, looking back at Twilight for guidance.
Didn't matter. The runt could hear me. "Hello, Stygian."
He grunted and winced. "Hello, Edward."
"Bedlam."
"If you say so."
"I do."
Rockhoof stomped at me. "You gonna be a problem, lad?" I gave him a narrow-eyed smile which he snorted at.
"No! He is not!" Twilight spat stepping into the center of the room and giving a severe look to the Pillars. "He has agreed to help us deal with the impending crisis, and he's already been a big help!"
The group shared a look and then considered me for a moment before Twilight whipped around and glared at me. "And I think you need a reminder as well! We're all on the same side on this one, right?"
I snorted and grinned. "Of course!" I leaned forward at the hips and glared with a wide smile at Stygian. "I haven't forgotten my loyalties."
Stygian groaned and winced, which caused Rockhoof to bare his teeth at me. Twilight growled. "Eddy.."
"Listen! I genuinely didn't come to pick fights!" I waved my hand. "But I haven't seen my girls in five years."
I rubbed my temple and gave her a sideways leer. "May I please at least have a chance to talk to them? See how they've been?" I shook my head and waved my hand again. "Supervised if you want, just.. please."
She recoiled and looked back at her friends who seemed equally surprised, before scowling at me and huddling up with them. Celestia and Luna leaned in and the group whispered together. Then Twilight nodded.
"Alright! Applejack and Rainbow Dash will escort you to the dungeon," she fluttered up to me and jabbed me in the chest. "No funny business." I rolled my eyes, but inside I was jubilant.
"Yet another door, wide open," I thought.
"Why is this wing so much warmer than mine?" I groused as we entered the dungeon.
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Uh, cause these cells don't have windows? Duh?"
"YES," I bared my teeth at her. "WHY does MINE?"
"Bedlam?"
"Sir?"
I frowned and jabbed a finger at her. "Hold that thought," I turned and smiled brightly at Tempest and Jury who were in cells right next to each other. I spread my arms out wide. "Girls!"
While Tempest smiled and bowed her head at me, Jury leaped to the bars of her cell and reached out for me. "BEDLAM!"
"Jury!" I replied with a huff before flinging myself at her bars and grabbing her hooves. She recoiled slightly and blinked.
"Hey!" Rainbow snapped. Applejack adjusted her hat and watched me carefully.
I thrust an open hand at Rainbow. "You be quiet!" I turned back to Jury with a mournful stare. "Oh Jury! How I've missed you!" She looked at me with wide eyes as I massaged her hooves.
"Sheesh," Applejack huffed.
"This is all my fault! I should've been more careful!" Jury shook her head in surprise and recoiled with a furrowed brow. I held her hooves tight and leaned forward. As I did, I reached back and adjusted my belt, pulling back my coat just long enough for her to see the bottle. She glanced at it and then met my eyes.
"Don't say that!" She wailed, pressing against the bars even harder. "It's nopony's fault! It was just bad luck, that's all!"
Tempest blinked and looked between us. "Wh-what is.."
"Well regardless, don't worry," I reached through the bars as best I could and hugged her. Rainbow gagged and Applejack huffed. I pulled back and nodded. "I'll find a way to make this right." She gave me a sad smile before withdrawing. I was suddenly yanked back and fell over.
"Alright, that's enough. Let's go," Applejack ordered. I rose to my feet and tugged my coat back in place with a scowl.
"Fine," I turned and gave a sad wave to Jury and Tempest as Rainbow and Applejack led me out. I glanced back and saw Jury untangle the patch of her mane the bottle was wrapped in.
I grinned as the door closed behind us.
With a shuddering moan, I leaned back in my seat, threw my head back, and dragged my hands down my face.
"Please answer me, Edward," Celestia pressed. I looked at her between my fingers. The full platoon of guards she brought glared right back at me. "Did Jury-rig assemble this golem?" I sighed and looked to the side, where Twilight sat with an ashamed expression that turned to sympathy when she saw me staring.
I clenched my jaw. "No. It was me," I met Celestia's eyes as she sighed quietly. "I designed it, I made the runes, and I put it together. Jury just helped me-"
"Princess, shall we?" One of the guards asked, stepping forward with a set of manacles in his magical grip.
She shook her head. "No, that won't be necessary. It was a simple mistake, he didn't-"
"It wasn't a mistake. I made it. I knew what I was doing," I huffed and shook my head. "What I didn't know was you made such a stupid law."
"Watch your tongue, creature," the guard snapped. I growled, but Celestia extended her wing.
"Enough," she looked at me with her usual serene expression. "The Animation Regulation is important, Edward. It keeps novices from tampering with a very sensitive field of magic."
I laughed. "So, you were going to have a novice give a presentation on magic, huh?" She raised an eyebrow and I wilted. I waved a hand at my golem. "Just.. Take it."
"I'll also need you to promise not to make any more of these for the time being," she said. I sighed hard and nodded.
"Sure."
"Thank you, Edward," she bowed her head and turned to her platoon. "Please remove the golem."
Her lead guard looked up at her as his fellows did as ordered. "Princess, what about the Chancellor?" I jolted.
Celestia glanced at me through the corner of her eye. "I will-"
"Neighsay?" She winced and sighed before turning to look at me. "Did he.. How.."
She stared at me for a moment before responding. "I'm not sure how, but he received a tip that you were dabbling in advanced and restricted magics and reported it to us, demanding you be arrested." My breath became shallow and I felt a chill dance up my skin.
"That.. fucking.."
"Edward." I rose from my seat and clutched at the air.
"He fucking." I began to pace. "And you're just giving him what he wants?"
"I most certainly am not," she responded firmly. "I'm going to lengths to avoid that as a matter of fact."
"But you're taking my work."
"Because it is restricted, Edward. And I plan on finding a way for-"
I hissed through my teeth. "It's what's keeping me sane. And you're letting him take it from me."
"Edward Bedford, please! This isn't personal."
I whirled around, jabbed my finger at her, and shrieked a chestful of air at her. "IT IS! IT IS PERSONAL!" I stood huffing and puffing with my quivering hand still pointed in her face.
Shwing
I glanced down and saw a pair of spears aimed at my chest and a pair of guards glaring up at me. I looked back at Celestia. She wore a reserved but sad look. A pitying look. I slowly retracted my hand and glared into her eyes. Through my peripheral, I saw Twilight looking up at me in horror with her hooves over her mouth. After a moment, the spears retracted and I turned for the door, only for the spears to come back.
I inhaled through my teeth, but Celestia snapped a wing, and the guards withdrew, allowing me to leave the room.
"Damn it all!" I roared as we sped on foot and hoof along the valley. "I told him this place was too obvious!"
Jury galloped up next to me. "Maybe it was just a coincidence? " I scowled down at her and then back at the smoke rising from the horizon where our flying machine had crashed.
"Coincidence. Right," I growled. "Starlight Glimmer and the Pillars AND the Elements ALL just happened to be in Hollow Shades when we returned." I enunciated my words with a flourish.
I squawked and stumbled but caught myself. "And I'll bet Starlight was just taking potshots at pigeons and happened to hit the blades keeping our aircraft afloat, too!"
Jury humphed and stuck her nose in the air. "What I'm saying is maybe they were heading this way anyway and they're gonna pass right over-" Just then, a multicolored light exploded up out of the ground at the center of the ruined settlement. "Oh."
I clenched my teeth and hissed a breath. "Damn it, I put too much effort into you. I'm not giving up now!" I drew my blasting talisman and flipped on my shield talisman before speeding on.
We reached the edge of a deep pit out of which the light was beaming. And down in a chamber at the bottom, I could see the Elements and the Pillars combining their completely unfair high-powered magic tools to drive Stygian back into Limbo.
I took a breath and then leaped down. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" The group jolted and looked up at me, weakening their spell and allowing Stygian to push his way back out.
"It's him!" Mistmane cried. I aimed my charm down at them.
Starlight charged her horn. "I got him! Focus on the Shadow!" She fired a beam which smashed into my own, but then she teleported up and blasted me from near-point blank. My shield lit up and absorbed the blast, but the force still knocked me off course, and I was sent harmlessly bouncing away, cursing all the while.
Though initially surprised by the barrier, she recovered and warped after me just as I clamored to my feet and took another shot at her. She parried the blast out of the air and fired another at me, which again was absorbed by my shield. She furrowed her brow and studied the effect closely. Just beyond her, I could see the combined powers of harmony going to work again.
I growled and took aim at her. "I spent too much time and effort letting him out! You're not sending him back."
She grimaced and lit up her horn. "What the heck are you so buddy-buddy with the Pony of Shadows anyway? In case you haven't noticed, Eddy, it's a LITERAL monster!" She snorted. "I know you got that whole 'infinite power from darkness' idea, but do you really think it's going to cooperate?"
"He's not an 'it' and he's not a 'monster,'" I spat. "You'd know that if you actually read between the lines in all the legends about those old bastards."
"Edward! Stop!" I flinched and looked up at the scrawny unicorn currently galloping towards us.
"Stygian? Wha-" I looked past him to see the shadow creature currently getting blasted into Limbo and then back at him. "How.."
He panted and stepped between Starlight and me. "Edward, just stop! It's over." I scowled but before I could retort there was a boom and a squeal, heralding another rainbow blast that filled the whole chamber. When my sight returned, the portal to Limbo was gone, and so was the Pony of Shadows.
I looked between Stygian and the place where the shadow had been in bewilderment. "What.. the hell just.. How?"
"We freed him!" I frowned as Twilight and the Pillars came trotting up. "We pulled him out of the darkness he'd been living in for all this time. He's free."
I scoffed and aimed my talisman at her. "You mean you neutered him. Took away his power. Made him weak," I waved Stygian to my side. "Don't worry, I can fix this. We can still make this work."
He blinked and looked at me with a frown. "Make what work?" The entire line-up of Equestrian defenders was now present and glaring at me.
I groaned. "What we talked about after I freed you," I swept my arm out at him. "Remaking this world how we want it. And most importantly?"
I clenched my fist and bared my teeth. "Justice. Recognition for your works and mine," I looked him in the eyes. "What we both deserve." He furrowed his brow as we held each other's gaze.
"No."
I tilted my head slightly. "Excuse me?"
"Excuse me, too!" Jury chirped as she delicately slipped around the Elements and scurried to my side. My attention remained firmly on Stygian, though she looked up at me. "What'd I miss?"
Stygian took a breath and nodded. "It's over Edward. I.. I'm done."
My arm went slack and my jaw hung open. "What do you mean you're done?"
Starswirl took a step forward with a determined glare. "He means-" I blasted the ground right at his feet, causing him to yell and jump back.
"I mean I've chosen to let go of my resentment, Edward," he gave me a sad smile. "I'm choosing to forgive and move on." I glared hard at him as he turned and walked to Starswirl's side.
He sighed and nodded at me. "And I think you should, too." I think I felt one of my teeth crack from how hard I clenched them, and my fist was definitely quivering.
"He's right, Eddy," Twilight said, taking a step closer and fixing me with a serious look. "Nothing's happened that can't be fixed if you give us a chance to help." I clenched my talisman so hard, I felt the gem crack.
"Please. Just come home." She gave me that sad frown. The one she must've known ate at me.
In that moment, I thanked God for my glasses, which were too dark for her to see through.
I smiled and adjusted my glasses. "Sorry! Terribly preoccupied now that Starlight's wrecked my flying machine," I leaned in at the hips. "Have to look into getting a new one."
Her ears folded back. "Eddy, please.." Her friends shared a look and began to advance on us.
I leaned back and tossed my crackling talisman in the air a few times. "I think I'll call the new one 'Integrity!'" I snapped my fingers at her, causing her to flinch. "In honor of the fact that I can't be bought." Before anyone could make a move, I slammed my talisman gem-first on the ground. The explosion that followed provided perfect cover for Jury and me to escape.
I leered down at the guard to my left who was carrying the pony weapon I'd produced on his back. "How's it feel?"
He glanced up at me and hummed. "Kinda doesn't. It's pretty light."
"Excellent."
He scoffed. "What's excellent about it? It ain't gonna hit too hard if it ain't got no heft."
I rolled my eyes. "It fires magic, you idiot."
He blanched and considered the weapon. "Oh."
"OH," I mocked. "Honestly! I can't imagine how you'd all fare if Twilight hadn't involved me."
He scowled. "We woulda found a way."
"Does that way involve waiting for an alicorn or instant win magic to take care of the problem for you?"
He scrunched his muzzle and his eyes darted. "No! We probably would've-"
Just then, as we approached the door to the room Twilight asked us to bring the device, I heard something. "Hush."
"Don't tell me to-" I slapped my hand over his muzzle and listened.
It was Twilight. "- really trying - nopony else - just wish -" I scowled and crept up to the door and peeked in. She was talking to Starlight, which was a shock already, but she looked even worse than she did this morning. Positively miserable, in fact.
Even this close, their conversation was quiet. Starlight nodded at something Twilight said and then hugged her.
"I hope so, too," she said aloud.
"What's going on?" I flinched and looked down at the guard who was peeking in with me.
Rolling my eyes, I pushed the door open. "I brought the prototype." The instant she laid eyes on me, Twilight changed.
"Great!" She cheered with a bright smile. "Let's see it!" I raised an eyebrow and then leered at Starlight, who smirked back at me.
"Hey, Eddy."
"Bedlam."
"Nah. Let's see your new toy!" I grumbled but waved the guard forward.
"Keep in mind, per your instructions, it can't fire as there are no gems involved. Only fake ones matching the size and weight of the real thing."
The pair hummed and took the weapon from the guard, who bowed to Twilight, and then stepped away. Twilight turned it over in her magic. "So the real thing just charges air with a momentum spell?"
"Correct," I replied. Starlight nodded and peeked down the barrel.
"If I got this right, there'll be one, two.. ten momentum gems casting the spell, right?"
"Also, correct."
She whistled. "That'll hit pretty hard!" She pulled it and looked it up and down. "How're ponies supposed to use it?"
I stepped forward and pointed at the back end. "It sits on the shoulder like you saw the guard carrying it. That bit there flips out and can be pulled with a forehoof. That's the firing mechanism."
"Clever~" Starlight nodded with a smile. "So what're you gonna make when the Legion's beaten?"
I jolted. "What?"
She smiled at me. "Y'know! Once we've beaten Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy," she tilted her head. "What're you gonna make then?"
"Hey, that's a good question!" Twilight added. "You said you wanted to keep building things, but didn't say what those things were."
I dumbly rolled my hand in thought. "I- Well!" I clapped. "If it's permitted, I'd like to rebuild my animunculi."
Twilight hummed. "We might be able to make that work," she frowned at me. "But only a couple and without any weapons."
"Not even as guards?"
Starlight shook her head. "She already has guards. But you know what'd be great?" She pointed her hoof. "Something to help fix up any damage the Legion does! Like a construction golem or something!"
"That'd be great! And you've made plenty of those before!" Twilight added.
I forced a laugh. "Yeah! I sure did! So hey! Let's stay focused shall we?" I tapped on the pony-gun. "Now that the Pillars are out hunting, who knows how long until go time?" They flinched and shared a look before nodding.
Twilight glared at the weapon lying on the floor and wiped her eyes with a wing. "I don't think it worked, Starlight."
Starlight wrapped her in a hug. "Maybe not initially! But in time, giving him positive outlets to consider will make him think twice about the bad ones!" She turned Twilight's head to meet her eyes and smiled. "It's like the Tree of Harmony. Plant the seeds." She rolled her hoof at Twilight.
Twilight sniffled and took a breath. "Then watch them grow," she clenched her eyes and hummed for a moment before smiling at Starlight.
"And hey, let's think of it like this!" She nudged Twilight. "He hasn't tried to rebuild the Killer Six! I'd call that progress!" Twilight went wide-eyed and shuddered.
"Gilda was right. This is horrible," Twilight moaned as she looked over the valley.
Rainbow snarled and stamped the ground. "When I get my hooves on him."
Fluttershy whimpered and shielded her eyes. "Why would he do this?"
"Raw materials," Starlight groused.
"Horrid," Rarity spat.
"Those poor griffins!" Pinkie squealed. Applejack was the only one who remained silent, taking in the sight with barely contained indignation.
The entire land around Griffinstone was alive with the movement of the clanking and squealing animunculi Bedlam was so proud of, in all shapes and sizes. Some were humanoid, but there were also large drones and moving wagons hauling debris and gems out of the vast quarry that had been dug all around the griffin capital.
The city itself was untouched, and in a certain light, it looked better than it had in some years. Houses were repaired and reinforced, roads were spotless, and even though it was the middle of the night the whole place was illuminated thanks to a network of street lights. However, the patrols of machines and storm beasts, looming guard towers, and high wire fencing surrounding the whole place likely canceled any improvements Bedlam had made.
To say nothing of the large smoking factory towards the far end of the city and the tall, blinking, heavily guarded tower sticking up out of it. So heavily guarded by flying machines, in fact, it was obviously the brain of the operation.
Twilight pointed a hoof at the tower. "He must be controlling all these through that thing!"
"Right! All those other times he had to be pretty close to keep them this organized, but look at how spread out they are and how many there are!" Starlight added. As the girls considered all the machines, they were suddenly under a heavy spotlight. Looking up in shock, they saw a large flying griffin-shaped animunculus descending upon them with the spotlight beaming out of its eyes.
It clicked, whined, and then spoke. [You are in violation of curfew and have been reported to the Administrator. Return to your homes immediately.]
I hurled the stone into the lake with all my might. It sailed for a good bit before finally splashing.
"Nice one!" Jury chirped before picking one up in her magic and shooting it like a bullet. I whistled at the sight and nodded at her in approval, but she gave me a frown. "So, you're not even going to make talismans?"
"Nuh-uh, don't want to risk it," I sighed and sat down against the tree we were in the shade of. "She told Twilight she was going to try and find a way for me to get licensed or something, but until then I just.. Need to do nothing, I guess."
I tapped the back of my head against the tree. "So what else is new?"
Jury tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
I grimaced and rolled my hand out for a moment as I worked up the will to speak. "I.." I sighed hard. "I never really did anything, you know?" I fixed her with a weary look.
"Went to college, got my degree, and tried to.. Do something," I folded my arms and stared at the sky. "Wound up just stuck cleaning windows at a shitty middle school."
"You went to college?"
I nodded and sighed. "Yeah, computer science for all the good it did me," I grunted and grabbed another stone. "Dad said 'Pick sumfin ya like Ned! You'll never work a day in your life! He Hyuk!'" I flung the stone into the water.
"You got that fucking right. Acted like it was my fault nothing ever came of it," I grit my teeth and sighed. "'How's the job search, ya freeloader? Aw, I'm just joshin' Neddy!' Well, guess it ain't a joke no more, Dad."
A few minutes of silence passed between us before Jury said anything. "I don't think the princess thinks you're a freeloader."
I hummed and locked my hands behind my head. "Doesn't matter what she thinks. It's a fact. No job. No prospects. Nothing," I grimaced and sighed. "And I go and scream at her idol right in front of her."
"You were upset! I'm sure she gets that."
"Maybe, but if she doesn't then I don't want to be any more of a problem for her, which is why I'm sticking by Celestia's order," I met Jury's grumpy frown with a smile and scratched her ear. "You and she are just about the only good thing going for me. I'll miss you both when-"
"Eddy!" I looked up and saw Twilight flying towards us. As I stood up she came to a hover right in front of me. "Celestia's back! She says she needs to speak to you." I flinched.
"Is she-"
Twilight shook her head. "No, she's not upset! She just said to come get you. It's important, apparently."
Twilight was crying. Not outright sobbing, but she had a hoof over her mouth and tears were flowing freely. All while she kept her gaze locked on me.
"Edward?" I looked up at Celestia from my seat.
"Yeah?"
"Did you hear what I said?"
I looked at my hands and gestured. "Yeah, you can't teleport to a place with no magic, since you can't sense it. And even if you could, the spell would probably explode worse than the one that brought me here cause of magical atmospheric differences. So it'd kill me, and probably half of whatever city I landed in if I even made it to earth."
Twilight whimpered and clenched her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Eddy."
"It's fine. Can't be helped."
Celestia frowned. "Edward, I-" she sighed. "I need to know that you understand the situation."
I met her eyes and shrugged. "I can't go home. I get it. I'm here for the rest of my life," I shook my head and laughed. "Sorry Twilight. Look's like I gotta mooch off you for-"
"NO!" She screamed and tackled me in a hug. "Don't you dare! Don't you even... No."
I snorted and wrestled my arm free to hug her back. "Alright, alright." She squeezed me tight and I sighed before looking up at Celestia with a smile. "Thanks for trying. Genuinely."
It took a few knocks, but finally Jury opened her door. She blinked and looked up at me, bleary-eyed. "Eddy?" She yawned. "It's two in the morning, what's going on?"
I leaned against her door-frame and looked down the road, wide-eyed. I took a breath through my mouth and ran my hand down my face then looked at it. It was still quivering.
"Couldn't sleep. Thinking too much," I replied.
"About what?"
I clicked my teeth and hummed before looking down at her with a smile. "You wanna build something?"
The doors were pulled open, allowing me ingress and I stepped out of my chambers with a sweep of my flowing red cape. God, it was good to be King.
I strode down the halls of Canterlot Castle basking in the tinted sunlight that streamed through the stained glass and in the gratifying sight of pony, diamond dog, and minotaur guards and maids saluting or bowing as I passed. Even the rhythmic clank of Tempest's shoes against the marble floor as she marched beside me was a thrill to hear.
Because, just like everything else in this kingdom, she was at my command. Though, that did remind me.
"Once I wrap up, we need to see how effective and comfortable adamantine is for your horn," I looked down at her and she met my eyes, the metal and gemstone prosthetic horn I'd built for her reflecting the sunlight brilliantly. I smirked. "The unicorns say the stuff conducts magic great, so since the minotaurs sent a few tons as tribute, I figure it couldn't hurt to see how it does for you." She smiled and nodded.
"Yes sir, as you wish." We continued on until arriving at our destination: a large set of double doors with a pair of minotaur guards on either side. They saluted and then pulled the doors open for me, revealing a study with walls and carpet colored a dark blue and bookshelves reaching from the floor to the ceiling. At the center of it all was a fluffy chaise lounge sofa next to a long desk on which sat several stacks of papers and folders. And on the sofa itself sat the alicorn national treasure herself.
She was lying with her back turned to me. I beamed and turned to Tempest.
"See you in the workshop?" I offered. She nodded, bowed, and left the room. The doors were shut behind her, leaving Twilight and I alone. I hummed happily and made my way to Twilight. "So!"
She didn't respond, only shuffled and curled tight. I gave her a bemused look. "Hey."
"Why'd you do it, Eddy?"
"What?"
"Why'd you do it? I trusted you. I gave you a chance," she took a breath and let it out in a heavy sob. "Why?"
"I-" I shuddered as she began wailing. "Hey! I- You.." I clutched my head and stumbled back, tripping over my feet as I did. I was caught by magic.
"Luckily for you, I am sworn to defend all who dream." I whimpered and looked up to see Luna staring at me with an unamused look. She snapped her wings out and the room blurred before fading completely. The sounds of Twilight's cries faded last. I took a few breaths and then Luna let me hit the ground. "You're welcome." I stared ahead as she turned to leave, but then grit my teeth.
"Hey!" I rose to my feet and turned to scowl at her. She looked back at me with a raised eyebrow. "What's the big idea?"
"By dispelling your nightmare?"
"By giving me a nightmare." She narrowed her eyes and turned to face me.
"Careful what you accuse, Bedlam. Especially when you know so little about the dreamscape," she scoffed. "Though, you barely know your own psyche, so I suppose your ignorance could be excused."
"Excuse you?"
She rolled her eyes and spoke with a long-suffering sigh. "Like it or not, Bedlam, what you've just witnessed is what your subconscious has picked up on. Reality. Not the perverse little paradise you've envisioned since you went mad."
"W-"
She was suddenly in my face. "You really believe you could burn her kingdom down around her, spoil everything she's worked to defend, and all you'd get out of it is a gwumpy wittle pony who pouts at you?" She spat. "If you destroy her home, you destroy her. And some small part of your already small brain has finally begun to pick up on that."
She loosed a chilling cackle. "Maybe leaving villains to waste with their thoughts in Tartarus does have some effect?"
"What are-"
She snorted and shook her head. "Stars above! Come with me." Before I could retort, I was dragged forward by her magic. We raced along a black void, passing by numerous little white orbs. "It's been chronic since you arrived."
"What has?" We came to a stop next to an orb that was glowing red. Luna forcefully stood me up and thrust it at me. Looking closely, I saw an image of Twilight with chains around her pulling her back. She was reaching for-
"The same dream every night since you arrived, Bedlam."
Twilight was reaching for me as I casually strolled further and further into a raging inferno. Then, suddenly, the orb cracked and burst.
"Ah, she's jolted herself awake again." I clutched my hand over my mouth and shuddered. Luna hummed and slapped my back with her wing. "You see? This is what you do to her." I turned to glare at her, but she rolled her eyes.
"I don't know what you were like before you went mad, but I know you at least cared about her, and to some extent you still do. You dream about having her at your side enough to suggest such. So! Some advice," I was pulled close to her and she grabbed my temples with her wings and glared daggers into me. "Give it up. If you truly love her, you cannot continue as you have. Embrace the opportunity she's offered wholeheartedly. Or you will never have her." She pursed her lips and huffed.
"Or you could just make another mechanical copy of her to be," she grimaced. "Whatever it is you expect her to be." Her wings flexed and then snapped out. The instant they did, I shivered and blinked.
I was awake in my cot, back in my cell.
"HEYAHAGH!" Eustace cried as the boar-man was hurled across the room by the force Rainbow and Applejack had smashed into him with. I watched him crash into one of the power crystals, which shattered and lit him up like a Christmas tree. The lights above us flickered and for a brief moment the low drone of the factory went silent.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "Eustace, you told me you knew how to use that arm I built you," I directed the drone that was providing me a video feed of everything to hover over him. "Were you lying just to impress me?"
He lay smoking and twitching for a moment before looking up at me. "hOeuugh.." He declared, letting a mouthful of smoke escape before passing out.
I sighed and leaned back in my seat before turning the camera to face Twilight and the others. "You know when I started expansion, I was expecting resistance from local defenders to be what stifled me. Not the ineptitude of my own administrators."
"Give it up, Bedlam!" Twilight demanded as she and her friends lined up. "We're taking Griffinstone back!"
Rainbow stamped her hoof. "Yeah! Unless you wanna come out and fight us yourself!"
I laughed. "Not physically possible, I'm afraid! As much as I'd love to see you face to face after, what, two years? Three? At this moment, I'm over fifty miles away."
"Fifty miles?" Starlight huffed.
"That's right! Part of the purpose of this factory was not only to gather materials but also to test the range of my new tower design! I'm sure you noticed it. It and the one at the facility I'm currently speaking to you from allow me to broadcast my controlling signal to all my animunculi within their ranges, as well as communicate like I'm currently doing."
"You've sure been busy," Twilight groused.
"You don't know the half of it. Jury and I have been working on something truly amazing! Here," I flipped a switch and projected an image of my project: a large, crystalline, orb, pulsing with magic. "This alchemically and magically manufactured gemstone will soon be the controlling brain of my entire operation. Allowing me to efficiently organize all my facilities, machines, and soldiers as well as rapidly pinpoint and respond to any alerts, attacks, fires, anything that upsets our workflow."
"Creepy," Pinkie hummed. Twilight meanwhile was looking much closer at the projection.
"Why does this look familiar.."
"Probably because I based its design on the Crystal Heart, which is also where its name comes from: The Crystal Mind," I chortled. The girls gasped and Twilight recoiled.
"Based on.. You're kidding!" She laughed. "Bedlam, just cause it's a big magic stone, doesn't mean it has anything to do with-"
"Oh, it's so much more than that, Twilight. When I say I based it on the Crystal Heart, you should know how serious I am," the projection began to spin, displaying all the facets of the stone. "While the Crystal Heart takes in love and turns it into energy, the Crystal Mind takes in information and turns it into action. There won't be any delay between an alert and one of my machines responding. The instant one facility falls, every other facility will pick up the slack and any nearby soldiers or machines capable of responding will immediately zero in on the fallen factory."
She looked back at the projection and considered my words. "An entire army working as one cohesive unit like cells in the body," I hummed as her ear twitched. "And you? Just an infection to be surrounded and neutralized." I uttered a low laugh as her ears flopped back.
"Dear Celestia," she gasped. The rest seemed to get the picture as well if the nervous glances they shared were any indication.
"Doesn't have to be that way though," I added. They looked up at my drone. "There is, after all, still one key feature missing from my creation."
They steeled themselves and Twilight huffed. "And what's that?"
"You." She recoiled.
"What."
"You're gonna try to steal Twilight's BRAIN?!" Pinkie squealed. She stamped her hooves and bared her teeth. "Not on my watch Buster!"
Ignoring her, I continued. "Twilight, you and your friends have all worked so hard to keep Equestria safe and peaceful, but for all your efforts, have you really made any headway? Can you honestly say you've ensured anything close to a lasting peace?"
"Well-"
"I can. The Southlands were full of warlords, villains, and criminals all vying for control and drastically decreasing the quality of life for everyone. Then I came alone," my drone rotated to focus on my unconscious administrator. "Eustace over there, for instance, lost his arm fighting some petty war for some petty duke or other. His homeland hasn't known stability for three generations."
My drone spun back and hovered into Twilight's face. "But it knows stability now! Because I came in and put an end to their noble's squabbling!"
Rainbow zipped up and punched the drone away. "Hey! We might have the occasional villain or monster running around, but Equestria's plenty stable!" She scowled. "And it's guys like you that ruin that."
I laughed as my drone stabilized itself. "I've seen plenty of the 'stability' your country has! Sure, you might not have constant wars or anything like that, but you have a much more insidious nest of vipers lurking, don't you?" She tilted her head and I smiled. "Neighsay and his ilk. All of whom are a symptom of a much greater problem with pony-kind."
I leaned forward in my seat and leaned on my desk. "Twilight, you and your friends are certainly an exception. You actually stand up to your problems, and try to find solutions. If you can manage it, you even try to find the best solution for both sides.That's why the Elements chose you! That's why I need you! Because you're exceptional!"
She frowned. "Compared to?"
"The rest of Ponykind, of course. I realized it years ago just before I left. It's why Stygian was so quick to return to the herd. Even Celestia isn't exempt!"
She huffed and stamped her hoof. "From what Bedlam?"
"Ponies, all of them save you and your friends, are just frightened little herd animals, pretending to be something larger than what they really are," Twilight scowled while her friends recoiled and their jaws dropped. "Now, playing pretend is fine, except they've secured power for themselves. They can affect the world. And when you mix fear and power, people get hurt."
Twilight glared straight into my camera while her friends shared a look before doing the same. "People like you and me have a responsibility! We have to course-correct those around us to keep them from hurting each other because of their silly little fears," I stood from my seat and kicked my seat back. "So, I'll ask you plainly."
I hit a switch and swept my arms out as my form was projected right before them. "Girls! Won't you help me save the world?"
They glared at me in silence for a minute, and then Twilight closed her eyes and growled a sigh. "I'm so sorry, Eddy," she opened her eyes, revealing them to be full of a fiery determined light. "But the answer is no."
"Hey, Twilight! I'm back," I called as I entered the front door.
"Eddy, come to the library," Twilight yelled back. I hummed a tune as I made my way there, but cut myself off when I entered and saw Celestia and the rest of the girls waiting for me next to a table.
"Hey," I greeted. Twilight regarded me sadly, while her friends looked anxiously between me and Celestia, who fixed me with a severe look.
"Edward Bedford, we need to talk," she said firmly and pulled a seat out. I hesitated and looked around before nodding slowly.
"Alright?" I made my way to the chair and sat. Celestia looked off to the side for a moment before turning to me.
"Where have you been today, Edward?"
I shrugged. "Out with Jury at the lake."
She raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yeah. We've been going there a lot and-"
"Yes, I'm aware you've been spending time together," she narrowed her eyes. "But I think we both know it hasn't been at the lake." I flinched and looked at Twilight and the rest before back at Celestia.
"What?"
She sighed and frowned. "Don't play games, Edward, this is serious. Much more serious than you realize."
I frowned right back. "What is?"
"Edward Bedford, you promised me you wouldn't build any more golems," she scowled. "But you and I both know that's exactly what you and Jury-rig have been up to."
My jaw dropped. "Wha.."
"Do not," she firmly spat. I clamped my mouth shut.
My mind was racing. "How does she.."
"Oh, Eddy," Twilight sighed. I looked over at her and she fixed me with a sad frown. "Why didn't you just wait? Celestia said she was working on making it legal for you!"
"I-"
"Do you know what could have happened if I wasn't the one to discover this?" I shivered and met Celestia's eyes. "If one of Neighsay's cronies caught you? The political nightmare this would cause in Canterlot for me? To say nothing of the fact they'd easily be able to go around me to have you arrested!"
I narrowed my eyes. "How did you discover this?"
"That's not important Edward! You-"
I stood up and met her eyes. "Were you spying on me?" She recoiled and my jaw dropped. "You were spying on me!" I took a step back.
She studied me for a moment and hummed. "I have many undercover operatives throughout Equestria, Edward, including in Ponyville. Considering the recent news I had to deliver to you, I was concerned for your well-being."
"So you had them spy on me."
"Edward.."
I shook my hand. "No! It's fine! We both fucked up, it's whatever!" I smiled, pulled the seat to me, and sat down. She frowned at me and I folded my arms. "So, what now? You gonna arrest me?" I started tapping my foot.
She glared into my eyes for a minute. "Your notebook, Edward," I tilted my head to the side. "The one you keep all your research in. You will give it up to me as part of your promise to refrain from this practice."
Her frown turned sad. Pitying. "At least until I have done as I promised I would." My eye twitched.
I stared at her for a minute before sighing and hanging my head. "It's under my mattress," she furrowed her brow and I shrugged. "Look, I wasn't lying. We were just at the lake today, taking a break. We've made a lot of... Whatever, it's under my mattress."
She considered me for a moment before nodding and turning to the girls. "Applejack, could you please go fetch it?"
Applejack looked between us and nodded. "Sure thing. Back in a sec." She trotted out of the room, leaving us all in silence for a few minutes. I sighed hard.
"Please understand, Edward," I looked up at Celestia. She now wore a sad smile. "I'm only trying to help."
I smiled back. "Yeah, just like you helped me get home," I all but whispered.
She flinched. "Pardon?"
"Nothing. Hey," I stood up and sighed. "Jury and I had a bunch of lemonade at the lake, so, you mind if I?" I gestured to the door. Celestia studied me for a moment before humming and nodding. I smiled and bowed, before slipping out the door.
I leaned back on the dusty old throne, just staring at the ruins around me. The crude blasting talisman Jury and I'd whipped up had frightened off anything that tried to stop me, and I already knew no ponies came this far into the Everfree. So, for the time being, the Castle of Two Sisters, I think it was called, was my home.
I pulled my notebook from my pocket and leafed through its contents, specifically the very end and my most recent development with Jury. A flying animunculus, using propellors to keep itself afloat, just like those drones back home. Would've been great to actually build, but that probably wasn't going to happen now.
I moaned and leaned forward, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. "What the fuck did I do?" It was too late to go back. On the spur of the moment, I ruined everything. Forever.
I locked my fingers over my eyes to try and keep the tears in. It didn't work.
I don't know how long I was asleep, but it was pitch dark outside when I came to. I was still sitting on the throne and leaned forward with a groan to crack my back. As I did, I saw a glimmer in the ground outside through one of the smashed-in walls.
After pondering it for a moment, I finally got up and walked over to it. Bending down to get a better look, I saw it was a small cluster of gems that the moon had just barely managed to light up. Digging them up with my hands, I looked over the clearing all around the castle and hummed. There was plenty of wood just lying around. I pulled my notebook out and flipped through it.
My wooden animunculus shuddered and shook before standing up and looking at me. "Stomp your right foot if you can hear me," I ordered. It did as asked. "Good. Follow me."
I led it outside and pointed at all the loose wood still lying around. "Start picking all those sticks and things up and pile them inside. Understand?" It stomped its foot. I nodded and snapped my fingers. "Show me." I watched it do a few cycles of collecting wood and bringing it inside before I was satisfied and started digging up gems by hand.
"Understand?" It nodded. "Show me." It picked up a gem and considered it for a moment before taking the sharp stone I gave it and carefully etching in some runes just like I'd shown it. Once it was done, it set it down gently and began work on another one with different runes.
The sun was high above the castle now. If I clocked it right, eight hours had passed.
Eight hours and some change was all it took for my operation to become self-replicating and self-sufficient. I had golems hauling in food for me, golems digging up gems, golems prepping gems, golems pulling down branches, golems prepping other golems, and initially golems teaching other golems. We'd reached numbers I was happy with by hour six, so I'd taken the teachers aside and repurposed them to start exploring the castle for any books on magic. They adapted perfectly, though some got stuck in a few pits and traps and were completely confused about how to get out.
I could fix that later, for now, I was thrilled.
Wood wasn't the best, but this was just the start. Just the prototype. If I can scale up and work on digging up ore, I could look into smelting, maybe even with magic. Maybe start working with stone to have nonflammable forge-workers.
It's just a matter of planning. Hell, if I got ahold of Jury and brought her in, who knows what we could pull off?
This can work. I can make something wonderful. Something no one's ever seen before.
Maybe more than that. I could turn this little clearing into a proper village. Fuck that! I could make a whole city! A state. A COUNTRY. A WORLD. For me.
For me and only me. Me and everyone else has to make adjustments to accommodate ME. Then I'D decide who can and can't practice magic. Then I'D decide who works and who doesn't. THEN I'D decide who gets left alone with their thoughts. Then I
I
I can
Hm.
I leaned back on my throne with a smile. "Well, how about that?" I chuckled at the melody suddenly filling the room all around me. "I think I feel a song coming on."
"Bedlam!" Jury cheered and clapped her hooves as we entered the room.
"Hello, Jury!" I replied with a wave. She beamed and started drumming her hooves on the table we'd been given to work on. I leered down at Applejack and then up at Spike and Rainbow, who were already at the table. "Did they give you my design?"
"Yep, yep, yep!" She chirped. "Ooooh! It's been ages since we worked together!"
Applejack rolled her eyes and nudged me forward. "Alright, rein it in, fangirl. Ya'll best get to work right quick." I smirked and strode to my seat across from Jury. To either end of the table sat Rainbow and Spike, while Applejack sat on the floor and relaxed against the wall.
I rubbed my hands together and looked over our supplies. "So, no Celestia or Luna?" I gently grabbed a piece of metal and studied it.
Rainbow leaned in and watched my hands with narrowed eyes. "They're helping Twilight fix the spell she was using to talk to Starswirl and Starlight and all the patrolling guards," she scowled at me. "Guess she had some real bad dreams last night and she screwed up the cast." I paused and stared ahead. Jury looked between us and tilted her head at me.
Finally, I hummed and shrugged. "Fair enough. You sure you three are up to the task of," I chortled. "Keeping my runecraft in line?"
Spike scoffed and reclined in his seat. "Please! I've helped Twilight with magic stuff for years!"
Rainbow smirked and stamped her hoof on the table. "Yeah! And I'm plenty attentive!" I raised an eyebrow and glanced at Jury, who smiled while her eyes darted between the two. She finally looked at me and her smile widened. I smiled back before turning to Applejack.
"And what about you?" She tipped her hat up to leer at me.
"I'm just here to kick yer tail if'n you get ornery."
I rolled my eyes and leaned on the table while twirling the metal piece in my fingers. "Sure, but hey, maybe you can answer me something else?" She raised an eyebrow. "Am I going to have my own weapon, or am I forbidden from building one for myself?"
Jury raised her hoof. "Me too!"
Applejack scoffed. "Heck no!"
"Yeah! You think we're stupid or something?" Rainbow added.
I shrugged. "Was just a question. I mean, if the Legion pops up and I'm defenseless, well." The three of them frowned and shared a look before Applejack rolled to her hooves.
"That's a good point, but I'm gonna ask Twi first."
"Of course," I replied with a nod as she slipped from the room. Jury and I shared a brief look as we got to work. A few minutes passed in abject silence, as Jury and I were, by this point, very in sync with each other, even after so long apart. We were cycling through preparing the casings for all the pony-guns at a wonderful rate, and the time came to prep the gems.
A miserable sigh came from Rainbow as she rested her head on the table, clearly bored out of her mind. On the other side, Spike was able to remain focused. He sat with his arms folded, scanning both of us as we worked, humming and leaning back and forth to get a closer look. At least until we began handling the gems.
His eyes widened with an eager glint and he gripped the edge of the table. I smirked and glanced at Rainbow, who idly was blowing puffs of air at her mane, then quickly flicked a gem Spike's way. He recoiled for a moment, but after a reassuring nod from me, he happily snatched it up and bit into it.
In that same instant, as she was sliding a gem over to carve with the tool in her teeth, Jury slipped an extra gem over and hastily twisted it into a thick lock of her mane. We both glanced left and right to see that neither had noticed. Then she subtly nodded her head at me.
I hesitated, and she darted her eyes at the pile of gems in the middle of the table. Still, I hesitated. She gave me a confused leer and then Spike spoke up. "What's wrong?" We both looked at him as he wiped his mouth with his claw.
Jury furrowed her brow, set her knife down, and shook her head. "Just spaced on the rune design for a minute." Spike hummed and reclined again as she glared at me before returning to work. I took a breath and stared at the pile of gems and my reflection in them, fighting off memories of the orb Luna'd shown me last night.
"Princess Celestia!" Twilight cried as she and her friends burst through the throne room door. "We came as quickly as we-" She slid to a stop and gasped in unison with her friends.
"Hello, Twilight," Bedlam greeted, standing just before the stair to the throne with his hands folded behind his back and surrounded by guards.
"Woohoo! Go, princesses!" Pinkie squealed, leaping in the air and clapping her hooves.
"Actually, he just surrendered," Luna retorted, causing the girls to pause. They shared a look, then glanced at Bedlam, who shrugged.
"It's true. In fact I don't even have any machine with me besides the Integrity, and the guards have it locked away." Their jaws dropped and they scrambled to circle him and fix him with critical and confused stares.
"No way," Rainbow muttered.
"You're joking," Rarity huffed.
"What in tarnation?" Applejack groused.
Twilight took a much more direct response, fluttering up to his face, planting her hooves on his chest, and glaring into his eyes. "What's your angle?" He smiled and leaned away from her as she pressed in.
"Something's come up I can't handle, but which likely concerns all of you."
"All of us?" Fluttershy squeaked. "Oh my."
Twilight snorted. "What, did the Hippogriffs finally break your blockade?"
"No."
"The Minotaurs destroyed that awful factory you've been assaulting them with?" Rarity offered.
"No."
"Them Abyssinians's cut off yer supply lines to wherever the heck yer holed up at?" Applejack asked.
"They tried and failed! So no."
"Oh! Oh! The yaks sent out a secret team of specialists to covertly invade the Southlands and smash as many of your controller tower thingies as possible?" Pinkie squeaked.
Bedlam recoiled and glared at her. "How do you know about that? And no, we've got that under control," he frowned, looked off to the side, and folded his arms. "Or at least we did. Probably not now."
Twilight shook her head. "Okay, so what?"
He hummed and leered at her. "You're familiar with my research into how magic responds to intent, emotion, and will, correct?"
"Yeah?"
"As well as my attempts at replicating changeling magic?"
Twilight scowled. "Of course. We helped Thorax chase you off and rescue those changelings you abducted."
"Excellent!" Bedlam clapped. "Because the problem relates to all of those things."
He cleared his throat and folded his hands in front of him. The girls sighed and sat down, by now used to his lectures on whatever horrible invention he was unleashing. "You see, I've been looking into creating a whole new breed of animunculi more advanced than the ones you've seen that just mimic the shape of a given creature. Shape is fine, but many creatures have unique abilities and magic which are tricky to replicate."
Pinkie raised her hoof. "Oh! Like cutie marks?"
Bedlam laughed and clapped. "Exactly! Very good." Pinkie beamed but wilted when she saw her friends scowling. "Now, changeling magic is unique of course, but its primary purpose is mimicry. My running theory was if I could understand it, and replicate it, I could potentially use it to give my machines the ability to mimic those special talents and abilities."
He grinned wide and giggled. "Those possibilities if it worked are quite literally endless."
The girls winced and shared a look before Twilight frowned at him. "And I'm guessing something went wrong?"
He cleared his throat again. "Yes. Cataclysmically." The girls breathed a sigh of relief. "You see, part of the scheme is that we could use magic's natural sensitivity to emotion and intent to allow my replicated changeling magic to adapt on the fly. Due to a slight error, my own emotions and intent were what was sampled by the machine we were testing." He hummed and drummed his fingers, as all the ponies shared a look.
Luna was the first to speak up. "What does that mean, Bedlam?"
He frowned and winced. "It means that there's currently an animuculi at my citadel that believes it's me, has access to the Crystal Mind, and has used it to usurp me," he coughed into his fist. "And is pursuing my plan of world peace in a-"
He inhaled sharply and rolled his hands. "Very different way than I was," he chuckled and drummed his fingers. "It seems to be under the impression it can best attain peace by killing all organic life on the planet." Every jaw in the room dropped.
"Yeah, kind of a wild jump," he chuckled and raised a finger. "The good news is that that's not the worst news though!"
Everyone recoiled as he nodded. "The worst news is he's preparing several thousand tons of balefire to launch a firebombing campaign across the entire planet."
"Bale-" Celestia gasped. "Balefire?"
Bedlam nodded. "Yeah, y'know? That scary green stuff that ignites when it's exposed to magic?"
"Several thousand tons.. That," Twilight held a hoof to her mouth and whimpered. "That could wipe out every city in Equestria a dozen times over!"
"Why in the world were you producing so much balefire?!" Luna screamed.
"I wasn't!" Bedlam roared back. "I just had the recipe for research purposes!"
The blue alicorn moaned and hissed as her head thrashed to and fro. "You psychotic, soulless, LUNATIC!"
"I have good news though!" Bedlam screamed. Everyone glared death his way. "Since I wasn't producing balefire, it'll still take the fake me time to actually, y'know, get it all ready."
He whirled around and bowed at Twilight. "Plenty of time for you six to rush in, blast the Crystal Mind with those nifty elements of yours, and purge this rogue animunculus from the planet!" He blanched and stared ahead for a moment. "Along with.. everything else I've built that's connected to it currently. But that's probably preferable to being incinerated to death." He gave a wide smile.
The ponies all shared a look before Celestia stepped forward. "Take him away while we discuss how to proceed."
"HEY!" I leaned through the bars of my cell and glared down the hall. "Sun's up, you morons! Lemme out! I got work to do!" Still no response.
"Unbelievable! We make all those weapons, and you just cut me out of the rest of the planning?" I grumbled and returned to my cot. I lay glaring at the ceiling mulling everything over.
I grimaced with a sigh. Maybe Twilight finally had enough of the stress I was apparently causing her? Maybe she decided I wasn't worth a second chance? Maybe.. She was just using me and is sending me back to Tartarus.
I sat up and a chill crawled down my back. My eyes darted around the room as the thought echoed in my mind.
"No," I finally huffed, beating my fist into my forehead. "She's not like that. She's not like me. She's better than that." I sighed and nodded.
"And I'm planning on stabbing her in the back," I unwillingly thought, causing me to wince and groan. I removed my glasses and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "What the fuck am I doing?"
A squeal and a boom split the air and shook the whole cell, causing me to cry out and tumble off my cot. Scrambling to my feet I whirled around and looked out my window, where I saw a shocking sight.
The last vestiges of a massive beam of magic were fading, seemingly having blown the entire western chunk of the throne room along with several towers and rooftops to smithereens.
"Ah."
"Strange. If this is his headquarters, you'd expect it to be more developed," Twilight murmured as they scanned the fortress before them. All told, the fortress Bedlam had directed them to just south of the Macintosh Hills seemed to be just a larger factory like the ones they'd seen and destroyed in Griffinstone and near Appleloosa. It had a tall stone wall encircling it, which had a collapsed portion on its eastern face, and an absolutely massive tower with windows and exterior balconies at the very center.
The corners of the tower were lined with gigantic gems that rhythmically pulsed with light upwards to a single pointed crystal at the very top from which arcing magical lightning streamed out to smaller towers throughout the entire factory. And of course, as they'd come to expect, the entire complex was alive with the sight of animunculi moving around. No sign of any storm beasts or other living creatures, however.
"Look's pretty developed to me," Rainbow replied, scowling at the faint green smog in the air. "Sure has enough smoke messing up the clouds anyway."
"What I mean is, we know he has air defense capabilities, shields, and plenty of other stuff," Twilight rubbed her chin and adjusted her saddlebag. "So why's it look so.. Undefended?"
"He did mention there was something of a fight when he escaped," Rarity offered. "Maybe whatever awful machines he made for those things got destroyed?"
Twilight hummed. "Maybe."
"Least that means we got an easier time gettin' in," Applejack said. She humphed and spat. "Let's get a move on, ya'll."
Carefully, they descended from the cliff they'd been observing the fortress from and crept down into the valley around it. As was standard for anything Bedlam built, for a solid mile in every direction any grass, trees, or shrubs were burned away, depriving them of any cover. Fortunately, they were used to the uniform patrol patterns he set all his flying golems to.
As they carefully followed in the shadow of one such golem, Applejack quietly laughed. "You'd think the fella'd give 'em different instructions."
"As aggressively as he's been expanding his territory, it's not too surprising he'd cut corners like that," Twilight replied as the golem's path brought them right up to the collapsed wall. "He just doesn't have time to give each squadron the same care he did when he was just causing trouble in Equestria."
"What about that Crystal Mind thingie?" Pinkie asked as they scurried in. "I thought that was supposed to make all that way easier?"
They scanned the paved road that ran through the entire complex and the sky before galloping into a narrow alley between two assembly halls. "Well, that's the thing," Twilight whispered as they crept to the opposite end of the alley. "He needs those towers to spread his controlling signal, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have towers linking every factory or fortress he's got together."
She peeked her head out of the alley and looked around. "So-"
[Well, well, well!] Came a buzzing voice. [What do we have here? HA-HA-HA! I AM BEDLAM!] The girls froze as they were now face to face with not only a patrol of heavily armed combat minotaur-shaped golems but also a thin humanoid animunculus, dressed in Bedlam's clothes. The Bedlam golem leaned forward with a creak and sneered as its eyes lit up, spraying a cone of light over the six of them.
"Uh-oh," Pinkie squeaked.
"What are you trying to make?" Tempest asked as Jury yanked the last bit of smuggled metal out of her mane with a teary-eyed wince.
"Bedlam's message said they've got a whole bunch of our animunculi locked up somewhere in Canterlot," she quietly replied as she organized her materials. "Since they respond to controller signals, I'm gonna make something that just sends out a weak one and lights up this gem if it, well, hm... If it hits one of them, I guess is how I'd put it."
"And you'll use that to locate the machines?"
"Yep! But first," she carefully swept most of the materials and two of the three gems under her cot. "I'm gonna whip us up something to get outta these cells." She grabbed the thin-bladed knife she'd smuggled, lay with the third gem between her hooves, and started chipping a rune into it.
Then, a squeal and a boom rocked the whole dungeon. Jury squealed and punched her tool through the gem, causing it to split in two with a pop. She and Tempest looked at the ruined gem in shock before Jury turned to Tempest. "What would Bedlam say?"
Tempest hummed and tapped her chin. "Uh.. Fuck?"
Jury beamed. "Right! FUCK!" She stamped her hoof and sighed. "I hope I can make the detector work with just one gem." She screamed and dove for cover as the room shook again, and a part of the ceiling caved in under a massive falling chunk of stone, crushing the bars to her cell. The pair shared a look as the dust settled.
"That works, too."
A drone whizzed up and flashed the girls with a bright light. "NOT AGAIN! My eyes! AHHHH!" Pinkie screamed and flailed her hooves, narrowly missing the flying golem as it turned and zipped into the air. It didn't get far before being sniped by a beam of magic from Twilight.
"What is he playing at?" She huffed and looked up and down the artificially illuminated vaulted hall they'd broken into. "The animunculi just keep flashing lights at us or staring at us."
"Don't think none of the ones in here can fight," Applejack replied, scowling at the vents high above which drones occasionally slipped from before vanishing into racing off. "But they're probably tellin' him exactly where we are."
[You've got that right!] They jumped and looked back to see the Bedlam Golem flying after them. It was still missing the leg and arm that they'd broken off, and half its face was missing after Twilight blasted it. Its magically propelled flight was uneven, but it was almost right on them in an instant. [I AM BEDLAM!]
Rainbow spun in the air and bodyslammed it, sending it crashing into the ground, and Applejack ran up and bucked it with all her might. The machine tumbled back the way it came, where a blast of magic exploded. Twilight ran ahead. "Come on!"
At they bolted down the hall, they chose to ignore the flying golems which seemed interested only in watching them run by. However, as they came to an intersection, they were confronted by a gigantic minotaur-shaped golem with a hammer for an arm. The second they laid eyes on it, it raised its hammer and brought it down, only for Applejack to rear forward and slam her hooves into it.
With a squealing whine, the machine was sent sprawling backward, allowing Rainbow to dash between its legs and then slam into them from behind, completely toppling it over. As they rushed over the fallen machine, Rarity stopped and scraped her horn on its chest. Little pockets of light suddenly flashed inside it before all the gems in its torso burst out and followed after her.
She glanced behind once she caught up with the rest and saw the Bedlam Golem scuttling after them, so she flicked her horn and fired two of the gems back at it. With a clank and pop its other leg was blown off and it collapsed with a gem embedded in its chest.
The corridor they'd chosen stretched on towards the center of the main tower, and eventually, they saw a dim chamber with a brightly glowing giant gem in the middle. But just before they reached it, a heavy iron door slammed down.
[NO YOU DON'T! I AM-]
"WE GET IT!" They screamed back as they whirled around and dove at the attacking Bedlam Golem. The machine recoiled as they were suddenly upon it, giving Rainbow and Applejack time to drag it to the ground where Rarity pincushioned it with her gems and Pinkie galloped up and kicked its head off.
[I- I- I AM BEDLAM!] The head roared as it tumbled away.
"Hush," Fluttershy said as she grabbed it and looked into its remaining eye. "Now, will you please open the door?"
[NEVER! I AM BEDLAM!]
"Pretty please?"
[ABSOLUTELY NOT!]
"Will you at least stop trying to set the world on fire?"
[NO!]
"We got it, Shy!" Applejack called, drawing their attention to the door which was smashed in with a pair of hoof prints on its center and its hinges a molten red.
Fluttershy smiled and gently set the golem's head on its ruined torso before following her friends in. [CURSE YOU!]
The dome-shaped chamber around them was full of crystals and wires connecting said crystals to the giant spherical gem hovering in the very center of the room. The central gem pulsed with magic that arced along the wires and lit up the crystals in an even rhythm that filled the air with a constant wavering drone.
The hall let out onto an open-air walkway that led right up to the giant gem. A few dozen feet below, there was a series of six large metal boxes on a platform around the column the gem sat upon. As they approached, Twilight suddenly stopped and furrowed her brow.
"Is this.. The Crystal Mind?" She murmured.
"Look's like it," Applejack replied looking around the room in wonder. "Shucks!"
"It.. doesn't look right," Twilight declared, tilting her head and studying the gem carefully.
"What the heck do you mean?!" Rainbow cried thrusting a hoof at the gem. "Giant pulsing magic rock at the center of his whole place? Seems pretty right to me!"
"What's with the wires?" Twilight asked, more to herself than anyone. "I thought his controlling signal flowed like a spell, not like energy."
"Who knows what's going on at any point in that maniac's mind, Darling," Rarity replied, pulling Twilight's attention from the gem and its peculiarities. "Let's just put an end to it!"
Twilight frowned and looked at her friends before nodding. "Alright." She opened her saddlebag and drew the Elements.
Bedlam sat on his cot in the dungeon, silently staring at the untouched meal of potatoes and water he'd been given.
"I hope you're not waiting on something fancier," Celestia said. He glanced up at her, seemingly not having noticed she'd arrived.
He smiled and set the tray aside. "Oh, I'm waiting. But not on that, no."
Celestia scowled. "On what then?"
Bedlam took a breath and chortled. "The chance to see the look on your face."
Celestia tilted her head. "What?" Suddenly, green flames like that of changeling magic raced up Bedlam, leaving behind a thin humanoid golem wearing Bedlam's clothes. As Celestia recoiled with a gasp, the golem leaped to its feet and punched the air.
[EASY!] It then let out a series of cackles as it squealed and then blew apart.
The girls let out a sigh and then huddled close to Twilight and Rarity as they lit their horns up. The entire room and seemingly the entire tower had gone dark once they'd blasted the Crystal Mind, which now lay cracked and broken apart. Twilight squinted and stared into the darkness. "I think all those wires melted."
"Heck, that's probably a good sign," Applejack replied. Just then, the lights flickered and the room lit up again, causing them all to wince and squint at the room around them. "Or not?"
Then, a click and a whine echoed. "How's it look, Jury?" They blanched and looked around.
"Bedlam?" Twilight said.
Rainbow glared back at the broken golem outside the chamber. "That thing ain't moving! What's going on?"
"Uhm, just a sec. The wires melted from the transfer," Jury-rig's voice suddenly declared.
"Bedlam! Where are you? Explain yourself!" Twilight screamed as they continued to scan the room.
"You hold on!" He screamed right back. Suddenly the walkway fell out from under them and they dropped to the platform below. Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Twilight used their wings to catch their friends, ensuring a soft landing. Now level with the metal boxes, it was obvious that they also had crystals hooked onto them. Or at least they did. Now, they each had the remains of several shattered crystals on their corners as well as a trail of molten metal where wires must have been.
"What the heck are these?" Twilight groused.
A gasp peeped up. "Bedlam! It worked!"
"Are you kidding me?!"
"The signal's the same and it's stable! We did it!"
"YES!" Bedlam roared before he and Jury-rig howled with laughter.
Twilight grit her teeth and stamped her hoof. "Enough! Golem or not, Bedlam or not, get out here!" The laughter went silent.
"Sure~," Bedlam replied. The column the gem was sitting on squealed and a door opened up in its side, out of which Bedlam strode followed by a brightly smiling Jury-rig. The human smiled and folded his hands behind his back. "Here we are."
The girls shared a look before lining up and glaring at him. "What the heck's going on? We left you in Canterlot."
"Wrong," he chirped which caused Jury to giggle. "You left an animunculus disguised as me in Canterlot. Like I knew you would." The boxes shuddered and let out a final gout of steam.
Rainbow was the only one who remained focused on Bedlam. "So, were you just really hoping to get us out here to kick your butt, or what?" She took a daring step towards him.
"Oh, I was hoping to get you out here, yes! But only because I needed you here to finalize my research into mimicry and advanced changeling magic."
Twilight whirled around to glare at him. "Advanced changeling.. What have you done?" The boxes creaked and began to unfold.
Clank clank clank clank
"What have I done?" Bedlam repeated, bringing a hand to his chest with a smug leer. "Well, besides repurposing this facility into a convincing false headquarters, preparing a few animunculi to behave like me and convince you to come here, and successfully encouraging you to give us a direct sample of the Magic of Harmony to peek at," his smile widened, and he bowed low, spreading his arms out. The girls barely heard him, too shocked by the sight of what now lined up between them and Bedlam. "What I've done is create the solution to a problem we've had for some time now. Poetically, the problem is also the solution."
"Dear Celestia," Twilight gasped as she and her friends recoiled from the sight of a set of colored animunculi made in their exact images.
I beamed with pride, both at my now mobile creations and the looks of shock on the Elements' faces. Rarity was the first to recover. "What- What in Equestria are those horrible things?"
KS 3, the Rarity model, stamped her hoof. [Horrible things! You're one to talk!] I chortled as Rarity recoiled.
"These are the Killer Six, named after you ladies! The ultimate realization of my animunculi," I explained, sweeping my arms in presentation of them. "Thanks to all the scans we captured during your little adventure here as well as all the data I've collected on you ladies over the years, not only do they match your shape, but they think like you, act like you, have all your talents and abilities, and most importantly.."
I leaned forward at the hips and smiled wide. "They can now use the power of the Elements as well," they froze and stared at me in horror. I reached down and patted KS 6, the Twilight model, on the head. "To say nothing of the fact that they are completely tireless, like all my golems. And just my tireless workforce which was able to transform this facility into its current shape, they will be able to perform all the same feats as you, indefinitely, and always at one hundred percent." I laughed aloud.
KS 2, the Rainbow model, leaned forward with a sneer. [You jealous?] The real Rainbow snorted and matched her stance. Twilight meanwhile glanced between me and KS 6, who was glaring hard right back at her.
"I knew you fell off the deep end Eddy, but this is just twisted," she firmly fixed me with a scowl. "Especially if you really think these things can actually use the Magic of Friendship."
[And why couldn't we?] KS 6 retorted, tilting her head. [We might have only just been born, but Bedlam went to extra special lengths to make sure what we feel for each other is authentic.]
She leaned forward with a dangerous light in her eyes. I grinned in pride. [Our friendship is just as strong as yours.]
[You tell her Six!] KS 5, the Pinkie model, cheered.
[These varmints ain't seen what we got! Guess we best fix that,] KS 1, the Applejack, added with a scrape of her hoof. Applejack responded in kind. KS 4, the Fluttershy, just hummed and tilted her head at her mirror who was biting her hoof.
"Bedlam~!" I glanced back at Jury, who was prancing in place with giddiness. "I think it's working!"
"Sure seems that way! Only one way to be sure though," I chuckled and swept my arm at Twilight and her friends. "Alright, ladies! Time for a field test!"
The Killer Six stamped forward in unison. I inhaled through my teeth and roared. "KILLER SIX! ATTACK!"
"Holy smokes," Jury gasped as she leaned over the edge of our backup hovercraft. I was standing and leaning on one knee with that leg propped up on the edge of the vehicle. Down below, the facility was a mess. I'd called off all the combat animunculi to let my girls flex their muscles. And what a sight that had led to. The entire central tower and half the assembly halls and refineries were on fire. Beyond that, the top six floors of the central tower had just collapsed. Not to mention, we'd entered the fourth hour of this little confrontation.
Jury blinked and squealed. "Look out!" I sneered as Rainbow, with a feral roar came booming up towards us only to be slammed from the side by KS 2 and then driven back to the ground. I noted KS 2 was missing one of her rearlegs, and her barrel had a nasty crack through it which was crackling with magic, but despite all that she and the rest of the Killer Six were still operating perfectly. The same could not be said for their fleshy counterparts, upon whom exhaustion was rapidly taking hold. Even heroes and alicorns have their limits.
Just as predicted. I sat in my seat with a sigh and scooped up Jury, who squeaked in response before humming with contentment as I began scratching her ears. "Won't be long now."
She tensed up before pulling free and frowning at me. "What if it doesn't work?"
I laughed hard and nodded. "We run." There was a boom down below and we both shuddered before leering over the side. Twilight and her friends had finally had enough and were calling on their trump card, generating a giant rainbow of magic that shot into the air before twisting back towards the Killer Six. Jury pressed her hoof into my hand, and I squeezed. A tense few seconds passed, until suddenly..
Our creations responded with a blast of their own.
I leaned on the back of my chair which I was sitting on in reverse. Just in front of me was a magical barrier and beyond that was the cozy cell in which Twilight and her friends were slowly coming to. She opened her eyes with a groan and looked up at me. "Wakey, wakey! And welcome home." She gasped and rolled to her hooves before her ears snapped back as she realized the situation they were in.
All their wings were bound, their horns had magic inhibitors, and their Elements were nowhere to be found. I smiled and rested my chin on my arms which I folded on the back of my seat.
"What happened?" She desperately huffed as her friends sat up and looked around in horror.
"You lost. Kind of predictable really," I replied plainly. "Can't be helped. However much effort you can put out, it has its limits and my machines can match it perpetually."
I met her indignant scowl with a toothy grin. "And I can now confirm that includes any and all magic. Even friend-"
"Don't you dare."
I shrugged. "Fine. I'll spare you from having to actually hear the truth for your sake," I giggled. "Lucky for you, I still have a soft spot for you all."
Rainbow groaned and shook her head with a hearty sigh. "This is what you call soft?"
I scoffed and waved a hand at the amenities of their cell. Six comfy little beds, plenty of books, snacks, and a private bath. "Of course. Once things are settled and the next step of my plan is finished, you'll be receiving an upgrade, too. Heck!" I shrugged wide with a smile. "The fact I'm giving Celestia the option of surrendering and becoming my Equestrian Administrator I'd say shows how much I care."
Twilight's ears perked up. "Celestia.. What have you done?"
I laughed aloud. "You think I kept this a secret? The second I got you six back to the real Citadel, the first thing I did was contact Celestia! I'm hoping she wises up before the month is out," I hummed and shrugged. "Then again, she always did strike me as something of a tease."
"You aren't going to get away with this," she spat. I didn't respond immediately, instead standing up and leaning against the barrier between us and grinning down at them.
"You sure? We're racing towards my checkmate, Princess. The Crystal Mind will be piloted by KS 6 using your brilliant mind, meaning every mistake or problem will be handled with surgical precision. And once these are in place, you can consider that to be a global feature." I clicked a few sequences on my glove and projected the image of a floating tower onto the ground for her to see. "These are what we've been working towards. Why we've been testing the ranges of all those controller towers. These can reach the ground from lower orbit, which is exactly where they'll be going."
"Orbit," she muttered, furrowed her brow, and then recoiled with a gasp. "You made an artificial satellite?!"
"Technically, Jury did, but yes. Twenty-five of them," I replied, beaming with pride at the image I presented. "Together, they'll spread a sort of net across the whole world, by which the Crystal Mind will be able to communicate with any animunculi anywhere at any time. We won't even need to build a factory to spit them out at new locations! We'll be able to build them here or at our other compounds and then send them out without any direct supervision! And of course, once they secure a new territory, and we fortify it with a factory the same will be true there."
Even those of her friends less informed about magic or my machines seemed to understand what I was saying if their terrified faces were any indication. "We're about to expand at a rate you can only imagine. A rapidly spreading cluster of cells scabbing over an open wound, effectively! And all of it in perfect sync, like I explained to you once before."
I cut the projection and sneered at them. "You had a chance to be more involved. Now though? You get to sit and watch. So relax and enjoy the show. And don't worry," I leaned down at the hips with a smile. "The world is in the best and most capable of hands. Mine."
They stared at me in terrified silence which was cut when the door to the jail was opened. KS 6 came trotting in, holding something up in her magic. [Look what we caught.] The girls gasped as she set the statue down for them to see.
"Discord!" Fluttershy screamed before crying.
"What did you do to him?!" Twilight yelled, beating her hooves on the barrier while Pinkie consoled Fluttershy. KS 6 scowled at her for a moment before turning her attention to me.
[Why are they still alive?]
I flinched. "What?"
Her head twitched. [There is a problem. Jury-rig needs you in workshop 14.]
I stood up straight. "Problem?"
[Why are they still alive? We should just get rid of- She said it's urgent.] Her head twitched again, much harder this time. [Aren't we friends, Eddy?] I recoiled and my jaw dropped. Twilight and her friends glanced between us as 6 stared at me.
Then she stamped her hoof and stormed out. [Fine! Be that way.]
"I-"
[Aren't you coming?] She asked, looking back at me. [It's pretty serious. I think Discord might have- Just hang out with them then!] She sobbed, took off at a gallop, and vanished from the room.
I stared at the open door in bewilderment for a few moments. "So much for your ultimate dumb robot, huh?" I glared down at the smirking Rainbow Dash before tapping the statue of Discord and smirking back. Then I huffed and left the room.
"Well, that was freaky," Twilight groused before looking at the petrified Discord sadly.
"You're telling me," a familiar voice responded. The girls all flinched.
"Spike?!" Twilight squawked, looking around and seeing nothing.
"Yeah, Discord brought me with him," Spike responded, still nowhere to be seen. "He uh, made me invisible and told me to follow them if the whole, uh.."
Spike cleared his throat, before speaking in a perfect imitation of Bedlam. "'Grandest achievement you've ever seen! I've replicated the power of the Elements of Harmony! HA HA HA HA!' Thing turned out to be true."
[I need them!] KS 3 whined, pulling the wrench from my hand.
"Fine, but for what?" I asked.
She stopped, looked at the wrench, then at her pile of tools in the corner, and then back at me. [I need them!] I frowned as she scurried over and added the wrench to the pile. I sighed and turned to Jury-rig, who had KS 1 on a work table with her torso open and was examining her gems. Even though she was still active, KS 1 was notably motionless. The others weren't much better off, but KS 2 and 6 at least were watching Jury work. Though, 2 was visibly shaking and rattling in place.
"The gem we had the Elements blast broke down real fast, even though we got a good enough look at the magic to duplicate it," Jury offered, rubbing her chin as she leaned closer to KS 1. "Maybe since they're manifesting that magic themselves it's having a delayed effect?" She squeaked in surprise as she was suddenly yanked from her seat by magic. I turned to see KS 6 holding her up and glaring into her eyes.
[What are you trying to say? Our own friendship is killing us? Don't be ridiculous! Do you know who we are?]
KS 2 rattled again and shakily stomped her hoof. [We're- We're- We're the Elements of Harmony-ny-ny!] There was a squeal, and a crackle of blue lightning danced up her head. I held my hand to my chin and scanned the group.
KS 1 was still unresponsive, KS 3 was humming quietly and piling tools from around the workshop into her corner, KS 4 was at the far side of the room staring into a wall, and KS 5 was murmuring an increasingly toxic-sounding recipe for a cake.
I hummed and picked up Jury-rig, drawing a glare from KS 6. "I think what's really happening is we've still got some repairs from your big scuffle to tend to." I gave her a reassuring smile.
"Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. Buy it."
She nodded. [True. That makes sense.]
Phew.
KS 1 squealed and jumped to her hooves. [Apples.]
I blinked. "Urgent repairs."
The workshop door suddenly slid open and a storm beast came stomping in. "Boss! The Elements are gone!"
I choked and whirled around to him. "The jewelry or the ponies?"
"Both."
"DAMN IT!" I dropped Jury and held my head as I thrashed. "HOW?!"
I blinked and looked down at 6, who was now nuzzling my leg. [Don't worry, Eddlam. We'll- KILL- capture them.]
"What?"
[Come on, girls!] 6 called, causing them all to snap to attention. Before I could say anything they stampeded out, trampling the reporting beast as they left. His quiet groans of pain were the only sound in the workshop for a few moments.
"I think we've got some glitches to iron out," I huffed.
"Yep."
I scowled and pointed at Jury. "Mobilize all defenses, then meet me at the Crystal Mind. I'm going to try to rein in... whatever's happening inside the Killer Six. But we need to get the satellites in the sky, now."
The hunting golems went stomping down the corridor, completely overlooking the slightly ajar broom closet a set of cyan eyes were peeking out of.
"Coast is clear!" Pinkie whispered.
Twilight nodded and replaced the Elements into her saddlebag. "Great job, Spike!" She reached with her hoof to pat him on the back but hit air instead. She looked around. "Uh.."
"Right here," the invisible dragon declared to her left.
She turned. "Oh! Nice job." She patted him on what felt like his shoulder. Before turning to the rest of the group. "Alright! If I heard Bedlam right, he brought us right to his real headquarters, so we can probably find the real Crystal Mind here. If we blast it with the Elements once he's got those satellites in the sky, it should spread to every evil machine he's got out there!"
"Heck yeah!" Rainbow cheered, pounding her hooves together. "Use his own junk against him!"
"What about Discord?" Fluttershy murmured.
"And those awful copies he made of us?" Rarity added.
Twilight nodded and peeked through the door. "We should sneak back and set Discord free. He can probably-"
A glowing cerulean lense suddenly filled her gaze. She recoiled with a gasp as the Pinkie replica poked her head inside. [Hi!]
"KS 6, respond," I spat. The Crystal Mind pulsed, sending the signal out. As it did, I continued scanning the Citadel for any alerts or pings about the Elements' location. Concerningly, a large number of animunculi within the Citadel were suddenly being cut off, implying they'd been destroyed or otherwise deactivated. My foot tapped impatiently as no response came. "KS 6, respond."
[I'm busy, Eddlam. 5 just found them.]
"Good. Get them back to their-"
[I know, I know! Finish them off. Can you recall all these golems? They keep getting in the way.] Oh boy.
"Are you the one smashing all our animunculi?" I pulled up a projected map of the Citadel and added all the last known locations of all the golems we'd lost contact with.
[Of course! You don't need them anymore, silly.]
"Hm. Interesting assessment," there was now a fairly clear trail from the workshop.
[Thank you. I'm surprised it had to be said, to be honest.]
I flipped a switch. "Jury-rig, can you hear me?"
Her voice crackled in after a moment. "Yep! Tempest is stalking the halls, and I'm on my way to you."
I winced. A whole nother set of machines just went offline. "Good. KS 6 is rapidly deteriorating. She's destroying all our golems. We need to-"
[Stop ignoring me, Eddlam.] I paused. I flipped a few more switches. [That won't work, Eddlam.]
I grit my teeth and sighed. "KS 6, explain yourself."
[You're the one who wanted me to pilot the Crystal Mind. Don't be shocked that I'm doing exactly that.] I recoiled and looked at the gem in question. It was pulsing as normal though its hue had shifted from a lime green to a deep purple.
"Oh boy," I rubbed my forehead. "KS 6, please remove yourself from the Citadel's brain."
[No.]
I leaned on my console and hummed. "Don't make me ask again." The door to the chamber suddenly slammed shut, and I drummed my fingers on the console.
[Sit tight, Eddlam! After we've purged these sick replicas Celestia sent after you, I'll come let you out.] I growled and ducked under the console, where I pulled a sheet of metal out to try and manually force her out by tampering with the additional gemworks.
"Even as a machine, you just can't work with me, can you, Twilight?"
"Look out!" Twilight yelled as the blast she fired at the flying golem was absorbed by its shield and then launched back at her. She dove to the side and the beam peeled through the air narrowly missing the Pinkie golem which had stopped chasing them and was now murmuring to itself.
The flying golem buzzed toward them only to be smashed into the ceiling by Rainbow bodyslamming it. Its shield repelled her into the ground, but the impact still threw it off balance, allowing the girls to rush down the corridor.
The wall directly in front of them was suddenly smashed in as another replica tumbled in. [Apples.]
Applejack recoiled with a shake of her head. "Wha? Oh, very funny." She tackled the golem and tumbled to the floor in a slug match with it.
"Applejack!" Fluttershy cried but then shivered as she turned around to see her double staring blankly at her. "Hi?"
"Heads up!" Rainbow yelled, diving in the air to tackle her double, and then blinking in surprise when the golem jolted and crashed into a wall before tumbling to the ground. "What?"
The Twilight double appeared then, dragging the Rarity golem in her magic, who had a cluster of wrenches wrapped in her forelegs. [Got you now.]
Twilight frowned and scanned the six golems. "Something funny's going on here."
[The only thing funny is that you think you can hamper Eddlam's plans any longer,] the Twilight golem replied.
"Eddlam?" Twilight shared a confused look with her friends as all the golems were suddenly dragged together and stood up beside the Twilight golem.
[You're finished,] it hissed and crackled with magic.
"They're using the element magic again!" Rainbow cried.
The six golems began to shine with friendship magic just like at the fake citadel. Then, all but the Twilight golem collapsed, and that one made a horrible screeching noise as it rattled and twitched.
[What?] It cried. [Why? Girls? Eddlam? Hello? Friends? Friends? Hello?] Smoke began to billow from its joints and it fell on its side repeating itself over and over. The others remained motionless, but smoke erupted from them all the same.
Twilight and the rest recoiled and shared a look. Then, their expressions turned steely and they drew their elements from Twilight's bag.
Well, that wasn't a good sound.
I rolled out from under the console to look up at the Crystal Mind. It was pulsing more intensely than normal and the magic dancing around its surface was.. prismatic. And then the console began to flicker with a similar magic.
"Oh, shit." I jumped to my feet and ran for the door. I grabbed its base and pulled. "KS 6, open this door now!" A squealing whine began to emanate from the Crystal Mind. I glanced back and saw to my horror that it was rising up from its base and crackling. I reached into my belt and switched on my shield before drawing an advanced blasting talisman and punching my way out of the door.
As I emerged I was immediately aware of the chaos unfolding around me. Golems were shuddering in place and crackling and the lights were shimmering. I grit my teeth and took off to find Jury-rig.
As I ran, I turned a corner and immediately tripped over Twilight and the girls. I rolled over and met her furious eyes, as she was in my face with a hoof on my chest. "Ah-" And then the rest surrounded me, with equally outraged looks. I held up a hand. "Let's be reasonable."
"Reasonable?" She repeated, with a venomous inflection.
I swallowed and slowly lowered my hand to grab my blasting talisman. "What happened to the Killer Six?"
"Yer dollies done got blown up, fella. Hate to break it to ya," Applejack replied. I recoiled.
"How?!" I flinched as my glove crackled. Twilight and the rest recoiled and backed off as my entire suit and all my tools began to crackle as well. "Wha-" The lights began to flicker, and the ambient hum of the Citadel suddenly went quiet.
"We blasted them with the Elements, Eddy," Twilight declared, drawing my attention. "And it looks like the magic traveled to your Crystal Mind and is spreading through the whole place." I stammered and crawled back from her as my suit and gems began to arc with magic.
"That can't be!" I screamed. "The Killer Six can-"
"That's the thing about friendship, Eddy. It can be faked, but when push comes to shove, the real thing always wins in the end," she replied. She gave me a sad frown. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like our's wasn't real. Maybe if I tried a little harder, none of this would have happened."
I paused and my jaw dropped as she looked away. "I hope one day I can make it up to you." Then the first of my gems cracked, setting off a chain reaction of explosive magic.
I haven't a solid idea of what happened after that. I don't even know if the satellites spread the magic to my other factories.
I assume that since harmony magic is mainly used for good things that's the only reason my gems exploding with that magic didn't kill me. But whatever the case, when next I woke up I was alone, on my back on a cold metal floor inside a cold metal cage in a very dark chamber.
"So, yeah, that's why were were in here the other day."
I hummed and continued to stare at the roof of my cage. "Dozy Grow, right. Explains why you only visited Tirek over there." I glanced over at Twilight. "So, don't you have a school for basic decency and common sense to be teaching?"
She scowled. "Considering you tried to conquer the whole world and tried to abuse the power of friendship, you're really not one to talk."
I smiled and rolled onto my side to face her. " I tease, but you know this largely confirms what I said years ago, right? Ponies need someone to guide them."
She nodded. "Yeah, and I never denied that."
I frowned and reached over to tap my bars. "And yet when I try to-"
"What I refused was your method for guidance. If you just force everypony to behave and don't give them a chance to learn it'll never stick. Instead, you'll build resentment for what you're trying to teach them. That's why-" She winced and looked away.
I raised an eyebrow. "Why what?"
She didn't answer right away, but after a moment fixed me with that sad frown of hers. "Why I feel like I failed you so badly." I recoiled and she sighed. "I've thought about it a lot. Back when Celestia caught you making golems and all that, I should've stuck up for you more. Heck, I should've tried harder to be there for you after she found out we couldn't-"
"Don't," I snapped. Her ears flopped back, and she hung her head for a moment. Then she blinked and gave me a sad smile.
"Well, I might have some news about that you'll like."
I hummed and lay on my stomach. "And what's that?"
"After everything that's happened, Neighsay's had a real change of heart." I rolled my eyes and snorted. "In fact, completely unprompted, he asked me to offer his apologies for everything he did to you." I paused.
"He wanted to send you a care package, but Tartarus has pretty strict rules about-"
I rolled to a sitting position and glared. "Yeah right."
She winced. "He did!"
"Yeah, I'm sure. But I don't buy that he's sincere."
"Eddy-"
"He's not sorry for the hurt he caused. He's sorry for what I turned around and became as a result. Because of the threat I pose to his happy safe little world."
"You don't know-"
"I do."
"Eddy.."
"If I hadn't become a threat, you really think he'd ever think about me?" I scoffed. "Look at what it took for him to even consider rethinking everything!"
"But at least he is reconsidering!" She stuck her head into the bars. "I'm not asking you to forgive him, and I'm not asking you to be his friend."
I scoffed again and scooted against the far side of my cage. "So what are you asking?"
"I'm asking you to stop letting the past decide who you are. You've proved you can make wonderful things happen, but because you're so fixated on all the bad things that happened, you use those gifts and talents to hurt creatures," I folded my arms and glared at her. "I want to help you, really I do. But Eddy.."
"You have to realize and accept that you need help."
I smiled and leaned against the bars of my cell. "I'm fine, and how are you?"
"Golly! Coulda fooled me," the puny alicorn chirped, tapping the bars.
"Seems like the only time I see you is when you're in a cage," Tirek scoffed.
"Let's be fair. Your current size and liberated status is a recent development," I retorted, at which he snorted.
"Careful who you mock, Outworlder," Chrysalis hissed. "Especially when they control your fate."
I pursed my lips and hummed. "Oh, is that what's happening?"
The tiny alicorn fluttered to my eye level to fix me with a dopey smile. "Sure is! I heard all kinds of stuff about you and your inventions, so I said we should give you a chance to join up!"
"I was opposed to the idea," Tirek added.
"And I knew we could make use of your ingenuity if you submit," Chrysalis continued, before scowling at Tirek. "So, two to one! We win."
"Submit?" I chortled.
"Yep! You work for us and we let you outta this cell!" The alicorn chirped, sticking her head through the bars. "So? How 'bout it?"
I laughed. "Not a chance!" Tirek rolled his eyes, but the alicorn looked like she was about to retort. So I cut her off and continued. "Quick question for you! What happens next for you three?"
Chrysalis scoffed. "And I thought you were supposed to be clever. It should be obvious!" She stamped her hoof. "We dominate Equestria!"
"Evenly, between the three of you?"
"Yep!" The alicorn replied.
"Who gets Canterlot?" I frowned and glanced out my window at the ruined city skyline. "Or more likely, the region Canterlot used to stand upon." Tirek shook his head and sighed while Crysalis and the alicorn shared a look.
"Why's that matter?" The pipsqueak asked.
"I will, of course," Chrysalis declared at the exact same time with a hoof to her chest. Tirek groaned, while the pipsqueak.. OH! SHE must be Cozy! Anyhow, Cozy turned to Chrysalis with a scowl.
"Uh, since when?"
"Since always!" She recoiled as Cozy zipped up to her face with an angry glare.
"Nuh-uh! We-"
"Stop," Tirek stepped forward and waved her back. "He's trying to compel us to infighting over petty nothings. I warned you both he was crafty." The pair considered his words before turning to glare at me. I smiled in return.
"Very clever Outworlder," Chrysalis hissed before jabbing a hoof at me. "But not clever enough!"
"Thank you. Though, my intention wasn't to compel anything, merely to make a point."
"And what point is that?" Tirek asked with a sigh. I hummed a laugh and shrugged.
"That you three have the same problem I saw in Iggy the Storm King. You've got the power, sure! And you've clearly got some solid heads on your shoulders," I frowned. "And yet you're just gunning it straight for the finish line." Tirek blinked and furrowed his brow while the other two shared similar expressions of confusion.
"Why's that a problem?" Cozy pressed.
I leaned on the bars and looked at the ceiling. "You become so focused on winning you never stop to consider what it even looks like. How you'd feel afterward," I tilted my head back to them. "You just assume victory is enough in and of itself."
Chrysalis scoffed. "That's because it is, you low-born thing."
"Really? You sure? Cause you haven't even won yet, and you and the lil one are already arguing over who gets this dumpy plot of land." She scowled at Cozy and then back at me. "You see, I killed Iggy because when you mix power with fear, people get hurt. But when you mix power with short-sightedness you wind up with senseless destruction."
I smiled. "I've always looked ahead. Carefully envisioned what I wanted my victory to look like, and then took careful steps to get there. My methods might not be the fastest or most efficient, but I make sure I get exactly what I want in the end."
Tirek chuckled and leaned toward me. "And what you want is Twilight Sparkle, right?" Cozy snickered while Chrysalis adopted a malicious grin.
"Correct." His smirk vanished. "And I'm not ashamed to admit to someone who barely knows what he wants." His eyes lit up with fury. Might've pressed a bit too hard. Well, maybe I can.. I blinked as a faint but familiar noise reached my ears, which drew a smile that only seemed to anger the centaur further.
"I refuse to work with you three. But not out of some moral misalignment. But because I refuse to compromise on my vision for the entire world by even one half-acre," I sighed and smiled before resting my arms behind my head. "But hey! If you need some proper direction and guidance, I'm always hiring."
"Not anymore, you're not," Tirek responded cracking his neck and charging a ball of red magic.
"You really think you can lecture and insult us and get away with it?" Chrysalis added.
"So much for that big brain, huh?" Cozy continued with a smug leer. I met hers with one of my own.
"Like I said."
WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
"I always look ahead."
A small swarm of drone animunculi flew through my cell window and straight at the three of them.
POP POP POP POP POP
"MY EYES!" Tirek roared.
"MY FACE!" Chrysalis bellowed.
"MY EVERYTHING!" Cozy shrieked.
Amidst the tiny explosions, which seemingly did little more than daze and confuse the three, I heard the sound of stone being magically sliced. Jumping to my feet, I whirled around to see a circular chunk of the wall fall in. Tempest leaped with a spell saber held up in her magic.
"Heya, Handsome!" Jury called from just outside, in the driver's seat of the Integrity. "You come here often?"
The dungeon wing shook from an internal explosion as we flew away toward the center of the city. While my explosive drones were still swarming the air, the city streets were equally alive with movement. I peered over the edge of the Integrity with wonder at the sight of countless golems running around.
"I dreamed of this for so long," I whispered. "Canterlot, finally filled with my machines."
"Just a shame the context probably doesn't mesh right," Jury added as she brought the hovercraft down to the city square. "But hey! Now we have a chance to start all over and make that dream come true in earnest, right?" I frowned as we came to a stop and scanned the city.
"Start over?" I thought.
"Bedlam?" I turned to see Jury and Tempest look at me expectantly.
I hummed and nodded my head back at the golems. "What orders did you give them?"
Jury blinked and tilted her head. "Uh, mainly just mobilize and try to swarm the castle while we think of a plan to get the bell," she beamed and reached behind her seat. "And~ I whipped this up for you!" She pulled out and dropped a weapon based on my handgun design into my lap. I smirked and chuckled before popping it open and inserting my modified gem into place.
"Alright, and do we have any idea what happened to Twilight and the rest?" As the gem clicked into place, there was a low whine and a jolt of power that danced across my fingertips as I closed the casing.
Tempest nodded and saluted. "While Jury was gathering your animunculi, I did some reconnaissance and discovered that with the exception of Twilight Sparkle and her fellow Element Bearers, the Legion has imprisoned all of their enemies in the crystal caverns below the city."
"Below the city?" I looked up at the portion of the castle we'd left the B-listers in. I smirked. "Good work you two. Now, let's send a new order.."
I leaned back in my seat with a smirk at the sight before me. The Pillars of Equestria, the Alicorn Sisters, Starlight, Discord, the Officers of the Royal Guard, and even the Chancellor of the E.E.A. were gathered before me in Neighsay's office. Jury and Tempest stood on either side of where I sat, while Neighsay himself stood off to the side casting an occasional anxious glance my way. Discord just sulked in the corner with his head in his claws.
"Thanks again for letting us use your office," I chirped as I kicked my feet up on his desk.
He cleared his throat and hummed. "Y-yes, well, circumstances and all that.."
Celestia looked over at me with a severe expression. "You have my thanks for having your machines rescue us, Bedlam."
I smiled and hummed. "Well, we are still technically in this together. And besides, Tempest wasn't able to gather a full picture of what's happened," I nodded my head at Starswirl and then Starlight. "For instance, I thought you six were supposed to be out hunting, and you were supposed to be guarding that friendship academy, or whatever it is."
They shared a look before Starswirl sighed. "And so it was, but Tirek was far stronger than we anticipated. Despite our best efforts, he managed to drain all of our magic before dragging us here."
Starlight nodded. "Pretty much the same, except Chrysalis came for me. I still have my magic at least."
I shook my head and scowled. "You're saying they didn't use the bell on all of you?"
Luna shook her head. "They only used it on my sister and myself."
I recoiled in bewilderment. "Unbelievable," I sighed hard. "What happened to Twilight?"
"She and her friends managed to escape, intending to regroup at the Crystal Empire, I believe," Celestia replied.
I hummed and nodded. "That's an awful long way," I raised an eyebrow at the sisters. "You two can still fly. Do you think you could catch up to them?"
They shared a look before Celestia nodded. "Yes. Why?"
"Excellent. Have them come back so that we can stand united against these three," I rose from my seat with a smile. "My animunculi and I shall engage the Legion while you do so, and while everyone else evacuates. Then, we shall-"
Starlight stepped forward with a scowl. "How do we know you won't just swipe the bell and run?" I glared down at her.
"Because even if that was my plan, do you really think you'd be able to stop me on your own?" I chortled and smirked. "More to the point, do you think you could handle the Legion and me?"
She flinched and bit her lip. I adopted a more genuine smile and leaned towards her on the desk. "But please understand, there's nothing underhanded about my suggestion. It's simply the best option available to us unless you've got something better." I scanned the crowd. They all wore expressions of trepidation, but no one seemed eager to speak up. Besides Starlight that is.
"Eddy, you need to swear that if you get the bell, you'll give it to Twilight the very next time you see her without any funny business," she demanded with a severe look.
I shrugged. "Sure. I swear-"
"Swear it on your friendship with her." I grit my teeth and hissed. I met her eyes and frowned. Her expression was unwavering.
I growled and took a breath. "I swear on everything between me and Twilight that I hold dear, I'll give her the bell and all the magic inside it," I declared before shuddering, wincing, and looking away with a heavy exhale. After a moment, I looked back at her and met her critical gaze. "Is that good enough?"
"You tell me," she replied with a shrug. "You're the one who'll have to live with it if you break that promise." My eye twitched, and I scowled hard at her, but she remained unperturbed. With a quiet grunt, I strode around the desk and left the room.
Jury, Tempest, and I made our way out of the building in silence until we arrived at my hovercraft, which was now surrounded by a few dozen animunculi. I climbed into the driver's seat and drummed my fingers on the controls.
I flinched when Jury reached over and punched my shoulder. "Nice going! She totally bought it."
I met her chipper expression with a scowl. "Yeah," I spat before standing to order my machines.
Chrysalis glanced back at the crater my blaster punched through the side of the mountain. "I'm shocked! You were capable of such power and yet those miserable ponies managed to capture you?!"
I bellowed a laugh as I took aim again. "The difference is I like them! You receive no such handicap." She snarled and teleported just as my beam filled the space between us. Pure forward momentum is one thing, but the secret gem I'd inserted meant it was hurdling gravity instead of air. So, whatever this beam struck was getting pushed by countless g's of force concentrated to a single point. Almost like a black hole taking a swing at you.
Unfortunately, the kick-back was a bitch and a half. I was thrown back, forcing Tempest to pull me back onto the Integrity with all her might. As she dragged me forward, I grabbed my shoulder which was beginning to ache from all the shots I'd taken.
A feral roar came from above, and I looked up just in time to see Chrysalis bearing down on us. Jury jabbed her hoof up at her. "Go!" Six of our drones which were hovering just under the Integrity came whirling out and shot up into her face. As she was thrown off course, Jury hit the controls and we sped forward.
A beam of red magic peeled through the air we'd been sitting in just after we moved, indicating the Tirek had recovered from having the tower my blaster blew through topple onto him. Rubbing my shoulder, I leaned on the back of the hovercraft to aim at him, scanning the skies and ground as I did.
"Still no sign of the pipsqueak," I thought. As I prepared to take a shot at him, he was suddenly swarmed on all sides by golems which pinned his legs before crawling up to attack his face. Smirking, I looked back to see Chrysalis zipping through the air after us. Adjusting my aim, I took a shot at her. She conjured a shield just in time, but the raw force still sent her hurdling back.
As Tempest steadied me, I turned to Jury. "How many drones do we still have?"
She hummed and scanned the skies. "I think those were the last ones."
I choked. "Seriously?! How durable are these freaks?"
"Not just durable," we all turned to see the pipsqueak sitting on the back of the hovercraft, with a smirk and Grogar's Bell pressed against the vehicle itself. "Sneaky and crafty, too."
"Ah." Before we could respond, she activated the bell, and the magic keeping our machine afloat was siphoned right out. The only silver lining was I got a solid look at how the bell is activated. That lining was uniquely thin, however, as she hopped back with a giggle as we were thrown into a free fall.
Jury tumbled back into my lap and clung to my chest as the ship sped toward the edge of the city, or more specifically one of the still-standing towers. Tempest grit her teeth and thrust her prosthetic horn forward, blasting the tower with all her might. She managed to clear a hole for us to slide through, and we banged against the floor of the room we passed through.
We continued flying, screaming all the way until we narrowly cleared the outer wall of the city. I grabbed Tempest and pulled her close. "Hold on, damn it!"
The Integrity crashed into the ground and went skipping along before finally carving a shallow trench and launching us out. As we sailed, Tempest grunted and cast a hasty teleportation spell. We reappeared closer to the ground and were sent tumbling forward. I lost my grip on the pair and we rolled in separate directions.
Once I stopped rolling, I groaned and sucked in a chestful of air before letting it out in a howl of pain. I huffed and puffed before looking up and to the side where the girls had been flung. Jury was lying on her back with a grimace, while Tempest was struggling to her feet with bared teeth. Her prosthetic had been snapped off in the tumble. Then there was a warbling drone as a portal opened up behind me.
"Excellent landing!" I heard Tirek jeer.
I rolled onto my back to look up at the trio, who wore similar smug grins. Said grins melted instantly, as I leveled my blaster and took a shot.
"HAAAGH!" Tirek screamed, being the only one to fail to dodge completely. I chortled as the beam tore into his left arm and completely erased the limb. He fell to his right and clutched at the smoking black wound that used to be his shoulder.
His cohorts looked at him in shock before turning to me. Chrysalis charged magic in her horn and I winced. "Last mistake." I brought a hand up and closed my eyes as she fired her spell. Then I heard the sound of a shield popping up. Opening my eyes, I looked forward to see a magic bubble conjured around me.
"Hey, Eddy," Twilight greeted with a smile. I blinked and sat up with a wince to look around us. In the bubble with Twilight and me were Celestia and Luna, as well as Starlight and the rest of Twilight's friends.
"You scum!" Chrysalis roared.
"Stay back!" Tirek added with a pained inflection. Outside the bubble, a small army of changelings, yaks, griffons, and a mess of other creatures were charging the Legion.
"What.." I huffed.
"All of Equestria's friends and allies heard about the Legion and were rushing to our aid," Twilight replied, letting the bubble dissolve. "The girls and I found them while we were heading for the Crystal Empire."
"Shoot, they was nearly to Canterlot when them nasty customers kicked us out!" Applejack added.
"Yeah, so uh," Rainbow grimaced and rolled her eyes before nodding at me. "Good job.. holding down the fort till we all got back." I frowned and slowly rose to my feet with a groan. I scanned the army as they charged around us.
"I.. I've made enemies of most of these creatures," I murmured.
"You made enemies of us, too," I turned to meet Twilight's sincere smile. "And yet here we are."
I looked into her eyes for a moment before smiling back. "Here we are."
Tempest, Jury, and I stood side by side, staring our old enemies in the face with Twilight and her friends in between us. Save for Pinkie, but I hadn't a clue where she'd run off to. Thorax, Ember, and all the other leaders of the world who I'd declared war on. With Twilight's urging, they'd all united and beaten the Legion with their combined harmonic magic. And now they were questioning why they shouldn't do the same to me.
Thorax hummed and looked me up and down with a scowl. "Princess Twilight says you're willing to try and make amends for everything."
I looked down and then at Jury and Tempest. The latter was stoic as ever, but the former looked dejected as she had been since I conveyed we were done with conquest. I nodded and met his eyes. "Any way I can. I uh," I rolled my head and held a hand at the griffin elder. "Could, for instance, rebuild the valley around Griffinstone with my machines." He raised an eyebrow with a growl.
"But!" Twilight peeped up, hovering next to me with a smile. "We can discuss all that later and in more official terms! Setting up work orders and things like that!" The world leaders fixed her with a critical look before looking at each other.
"Don't get too comfortable, Princess!" We all jumped and turned to see Chrysalis and her cohorts a short distance away, drained of power but still full of fire. "We will always return! Nothing will ever-" I cried out as a house-sized cupcake fell from the sky onto the trio. Twilight and I shared a look before a crackling buzz filled the air.
"Pinkie?" Turning, I saw the rest of Twilight's friends recoiling from Pinkie who had Grogar's Bell in her hooves and was jittering with power. Rainbow looked her up and down. "Is that Discord's magic?"
Discord himself, along with the alicorn sisters and Starlight carefully approached. Twilight fluttered forward. "Are you okay?"
Pinkie hummed and rubbed her chin, dropping the bell as she did so. "Okay's pretty relative. I do on the other hoof feel," she crackled again and swelled to a colossal size. Candy-colored clouds gathered and began raining chocolate on the valley. "LIKE I COULD BEND THE VERY COSMOS SO THAT EVERYTHING IS MADE OF ICING!!"
"Ah." Twilight whimpered. With a hum, I carefully snuck forward and picked up the bell.
"One sec," turning it over in my hands a few times, I aimed it at her and successfully triggered its magic. With a warbling gong, the bell sucked the chaos magic right out of her, returning her to normal at which point she stumbled and fell over with a giggle. The sugary weather and the cupcake she'd crushed the Legion with had all vanished, leaving the three groaning and snarling.
Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief before Twilight smiled at me. "Thanks, Eddy."
"Mhm."
"Eddy?"
"Mhm."
It was only for a moment, but when the bell drained the magic from her, I felt it. All of it. It was like that night back in the Castle of Two Sisters, when I first set my animunculi to work. The raw potential it presented. My fingers drummed the bell as I stared at it and my mind went to work.
Chaos magic has no limits when used right. If you avoid its counters and just think things through, there is literally no limitation to what can be accomplished. I wouldn't even need to use it in combat. I could just use it to test my animunculi in ways only possible in my wildest imaginations. Because that's literally the framework I held in my hands: Imagination.
Raw creativity, unchecked by reality's constraints.
Within my hands, I held everything I ever wanted and more. The world. My world. Mine. The world I wanted to show Twilight.
I paused.
"Embrace the opportunity she's offered wholeheartedly. Or you will never have her."
My eyes darted back and forth. "I will not compromise on my vision for the world by even one half-acre."
I grit my teeth. "I get what I want in the end."
"Eddy?" I looked down and saw Twilight's concerned frown. I felt the weight of the stone bell now more than ever. I clenched my eyes shut as my breathing began to match that weight. Glasses or no, there was no way she couldn't see my tears. "Are you okay?"
I took a shuddering breath and nodded before smiling at her.
"Sorry." I flipped the bell around and conjured a portal with it before jumping through.
"Wha-" Was all Twilight could squeak out before the portal slammed shut behind him. She scanned the air where he had been and stumbled back. "You-" The noise of a few more portals popping up around drew her attention elsewhere, and she saw the Legion of Doom vanish into the ground.
"Whoa!"
"Eep!"
Followed by Jury-rig and Tempest.
"THAT CREEP!" Rainbow roared as she shot towards one of the portals but hit only open air. Twilight sat on the ground and looked around.
"He-" Her ears flopped back. "I-"
"Twilight!" She looked back and saw her friends, namely an equally horrified Starlight running up. Just beyond, she saw the shocked, sorrowful eyes of her teacher looking straight at her.
Twilight whimpered and gulped as her friends surrounded her and drew her into a hug. Starlight gasped and squeezed her. "Hey, it's not.. We can-"
"We'll find him and get him for this, I swear it," Rainbow spat.
"I trusted him," Twilight squeaked. "And he-" A heavy sob followed.
"Eddy.. Why?"
The last portal closed shut as Jury tumbled through. My hands were shaking. I looked over the gang I gathered, three of whom looked up at me in shock. I clenched my jaw and rattled out a snarl their way. Even Chrysalis was taken aback.
"Nice work, Bedlam!" I turned and glared down at Jury who took the bell from me and began examining it. "All of Discord's magic and the Royal Sisters?"
She beamed up at me. "Imagine what we can make!" Her expression fell when she got a proper look at me. After fixing her with a glare for a moment, I looked forward and at my hands.
I fell to my knees and drew in a chestful of air. I lurched forward onto my hands and then screamed until nothing came out. Once I was out of breath, I pressed my forehead to the ground and clenched my teeth until they hurt.
Silence filled the glade I'd pulled us all to until I took a shallow breath and stood up. Adjusting my glasses, I stalked toward the former Legion of Doom.
Looming over them I huffed before drawing my blaster and leveling it at them. All three wilted before me. "We have work to do. You're either in or in the way. Which is it?"