BEDLAM

by Gormless Wheaton

Prologue

---

The doors were pulled open, allowing me ingress and I stepped out of my chambers with a sweep of my flowing red cape. God, it was good to be King.

I strode down the halls of Canterlot Castle basking in the tinted sunlight that streamed through the stained glass and in the gratifying sight of pony, diamond dog, and minotaur guards and maids saluting or bowing as I passed. Even the rhythmic clank of Tempest's shoes against the marble floor as she marched beside me was a thrill to hear.

Because, just like everything else in this kingdom, she was at my command. Though, that did remind me.

"Once I wrap up, we need to see how effective and comfortable adamantine is for your horn," I looked down at her and she met my eyes, the metal and gemstone prosthetic horn I'd built for her reflecting the sunlight brilliantly. I smirked. "The unicorns say the stuff conducts magic great, so since the minotaurs sent a few tons as tribute, I figure it couldn't hurt to see how it does for you." She smiled and nodded.

"Yes sir, as you wish." We continued on until arriving at our destination: a large set of double doors with a pair of minotaur guards on either side. They saluted and then pulled the doors open for me, revealing a study with walls and carpet colored a dark blue and bookshelves reaching from the floor to the ceiling. At the center of it all was a fluffy chaise lounge sofa next to a long desk on which sat several stacks of papers and folders. And on the sofa itself sat the alicorn national treasure herself.

"You're late," Twilight groused, holding up a folder with her hooves and scowling at me. "And your new Everfree policy has already fallen through." I beamed and turned to Tempest.

"See you in the workshop?" I offered. She nodded, bowed, and left the room. The doors were shut behind her, leaving Twilight and I alone. I hummed happily and made my way to Twilight. Even scowling, she looked adorable. The magic inhibiter we put on her horn meant she couldn't magically correct her vision, forcing her to wear glasses, something she told me she hadn't done since she was a teenager. On top of that, the collar and nametag just tied it all together. I giggled and slid onto the sofa next to her, folding my legs and pulling her close. "So how exactly did my Everfree policy fall through? It seemed pretty solid to me." She grunted and pulled her forelegs free of my arm.

"Because controlled anything and the Everfree don't mix," she grumbled, slapping me in the face with the paper. "Let alone a controlled burn." I hummed and read the report, grimacing at the details.

"Fucking Ents?" I murmured. "Those're a thing?"

"Didn't use to be. Used to just be an Ogres and Oubliettes monster, which I think is where the guards got the name from," she jeered, slapping me with a wing. "Nice going, Your Majesty." I raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.

"Why thank you. Not everyone can so casually create a new form of life," I sighed and reclined, hugging her tight and drawing an annoyed groan from her. "And I'm so glad I have you to appreciate my accomplishments."

"Repugnant."

I shivered and looked up to see against my hopes, prayers, and to my eternal horror, Princess Luna glaring at me with icy disdain. My jaw dropped, and I groaned, leaning back in my seat and drawing a hand over my eyes.

"God damn it, I'm dreaming. Again."

"Some would call this a nightmare," she retorted.

"Those of us with no taste or ambition, maybe," I quipped. With a deep sigh, I hugged the fake Twilight one final time and stood up. The room blurred leaving Luna and I floating in a hazy void. I studied her for a moment. "What?" She studied me back, looking up at me with maintained annoyance.

"Awaken." I rolled my eyes and then closed them as everything melted away. Suddenly, I was on my back against a cold metal floor. With a mournful hum, I opened my eyes to see the same dark chamber my cage sat in, only now I had a few visitors. I raised an eyebrow at the trio glaring down at me from the other side of my cage bars.

"Hello, Mr. Bedford," Celestia greeted.

"Bedlam," I corrected, sitting up and looking at myself with a sigh. As opposed to my dreamed-up regal dress, I was still in the patchy, torn, and frayed black clothes I was wearing when they first locked me down here. Minus all my fun tools and gadgets, of course. Specifically, the ones that survived the fight.

"Eddy, please," Twilight groused, shaking her head and stepping closer to the bars. "This is serious." I hummed and considered her for a moment before laying on my side, and propping my head up on my hand.

"Must be," I rubbed my finger across the cage floor. "And I'm guessing this isn't just a lecture, either."

"Equestria is in danger," she declared. I gasped and brought my hand to my mouth.

"No."

"Upstart ape," Luna snorted and glared daggers my way.

"Let her talk to him," Celestia quietly urged.

"Discord messed up. Bad," Twilight continued. I blinked and sat up with my legs crossed.

"Okay," I replied, leaning on my knees.

"He gathered Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow together as part of some convoluted scheme to help us," she explained.

"Cozy who?" I muttered before scowling. "Hold up! Tirek was down here with me!" I shot to my feet and leaned my head through the bars of my cage, peering between Celestia and Luna in the direction I thought Tirek was locked up.

"Yes. Discord released him," Luna said dryly.

"What about me?!" I was pulled down to my knees by magic.

"Eddy! Focus!" Twilight demanded, looking me in the eyes. "They got ahold of Grogar's Bell and used it to steal Discord's magic." I blanched and gasped. I'd read about that little trinket a few times, so I was only slightly salty that those B listers managed to find it before me. Twilight nodded at my reaction.

"Now they're on the warpath and coming to conquer all of Equestria," she continued, fixing me with a sincere and serious look. I met her eyes and composed myself.

"So?" I urged.

"So, you nearly pulled off something similar on your own, with what amounts to a box of gems and a gutful of hate," she replied with a sigh. "You even managed to scare off Discord." Ah, I see. Fat chance, sweety. I smirked and leaned back with a hand on my chest.

"All very true and underselling my genius, however-"

"And you used to be my friend." God. I winced hard and groaned before slowly opening an eye to look at her. Her expression had shifted to that sad frown she must've known ate at me.

"Things don't have to stay like this Eddy," she tapped the bars of my cage with a hoof. "You were dealt a bad hoof by life and you made some serious mistakes, but I need to believe you can move past it all." I frowned and she stepped back from the bars before teleporting right up to me. She stepped up on my knees to meet my eyes.

"If you help us and we make it through this, I'll pardon you of your crimes against Equestria," she said, still wearing that frown. "It's not just that we need the help, and we do." She leaned closer.

"I want to give you the chance to be better." An all too familiar silence held the chamber. Despite having so much time to get used to it, her presence alone made it uncomfortable. I frowned.

"Since when do you have the authority to pardon someone like me?" I huffed. She blinked and hopped back.

"Right! You don't get much news down here," she smiled. "Celestia and Luna are retiring and have named me as their successor." I jolted and looked between the three of them.

"Really?" I quietly asked. The sisters nodded.

"Mhm!" Twilight confirmed. I rubbed my chin and furrowed my brow.

So, Grogar's Bell has been found and is in the hands of three B-list villains. Celestia and Luna are stepping down. Discord is powerless. And Twilight Sparkle is offering me parole?

"Eddy?"

"Easy," I thought. I leaned back and stretched my arms out, cracking my joints as I did so and making sure to refrain from letting the maniacal glee welling up inside show itself on my face. I sighed and nodded at Twilight.

"Fine. Let's give it a shot."

---

Author's Note:

Comments

[SleeplessChatter]

Interesting start. Lots of unexplained history I'm interested in learning about.