Griffon The Brush Off

by TheKing2001

She Sucks

Pinkie tied her apron as she sat behind the register at Sugarcube Corner, idly pony watching. Most ponies didn’t know Pinkie liked to watch ponies, it’s how she learned about how what most of the town folk liked. Hobbies, crushes, dislikes and favorite ice cream flavors.

“The usual?” Pinkie asked as Sunset and Silverspeed trotted in. “One chocolate chip muffin and a cream filled donut? One coffee with hazelnut creamer and a chocolate milk?”

“Yes ma’am,” Silverspeed nodded with a smirk. “How exactly do you always know what we all want all the time?”

“It’s my job. Plus it’s a secret,” Pinkie giggled as she started getting the requested breakfast items ready.

“You go sit down. I’ll get it ready for you,” Sunset said as Silverspeed nodded with a shrug.

“Here on a date or friends?” Pinkie asked as she slid the two cups across the counter.

“Friends as usual. I don’t really see her that way,” Sunset answered as she counted out some bits. “Why does everypony think we’re dating?”

“You two get along pretty well,” Pinkie answered as she pushed the bits into the register. “I ship it personally but it’s cool if you don’t date her. Silverspeed has never really dated seriously, off and on here from what I remember. Oh, she dated what’s his name? Uhh, Cherry Fizzy! Cherry Berry’s ex. Nice stallion. Anyway, I don’t really have a ship name for you two.”

“Thanks?” Sunset said as she glanced back quickly at Silverspeed.

“If you think something is there, I’d say go for it. I can give you all the details on Silverspeed and her past love life. Last time I heard, her most recent relationship was some mare at West Hoof.”

“Wait, she took officer training?” Sunset asked as Silverspeed flicked piece of plastic into a garbage can. “She never mentioned that to anyone. Then why isn’t she an officer in the guard and a cadet in Ponyville?”

“Don’t know,” Pinkie shrugged. “But I think she wants to work her way up the chain, not have it all hoofed to her like she used to as a filly. Silverspeed was always a bit more shy about her wealth unlike her sister Silver Spoon.”

Sunset levitated the cups with the two pastries, trotting off with a wave as she sat down across from Silverspeed.

“So what were you two talking about?” Silverspeed asked curiously as Sunset sipped her coffee with a content sigh.

“Oh, nothing.”

---

“What do think Pinkie is doing?” Carrot Top asked as she and Raindrops leaned against a fence, the latter chewing on a Carrot.

“Who knows with that mare. She’s nice but crazy as heck. Though not too different from the crazy I’m used to with Trixie,” Raindrops said as she continued eating her carrot.

“Bet you got some stories about that mare, eh?” Carrot Top asked with a smirk and nudged Raindrops.

“Oh, you have no idea.”

The two watched Pinkie drag a trampoline out of a barn along with some weird contraption with pedals and blades on the top.

“What in Equestria is that?” Carrot Top asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s one of those flying things that Cherry Berry talks about often. Yo, Pinkie! What’s up?” Raindrops called out as Pinkie trotted over.

“Hey girls. What’s up?”

“What are you doing with the trampoline and the helicopter?” Raindrops asked as Carrot Top dug out a carrot of the bag, offering it to Pinkie who took it with a grateful smile.

“Pinkie sense tells me I’ll be needing it today. Don’t know why but I know to trust my Pinkie sense. Bye girls, thanks for the carrot!” Pinkie galloped back to her helicopter and flicked one of the blades.

“I will never understand that mare,” Raindrops muttered as she shook her mane.

“Me neither.”

“It’s nice to hang out with you on my breaks,” Raindrops said and nudged Carrot with a wing. “We background characters gotta stick together after all.”

“Damn straight.”

---

“Rise and shine Rainbow Dash! It’s a brand new day and we got a lot of pranking to...oh hi!” Pinkie waved as a bird like creature peaked over the edge of Rainbow’s cloud house. “Well, not exactly morning but it’s eleven fifty nine so still morning technically!”

“Mornin’, Pinks. Gilda, this is my gal pal, Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow said as she joined Gilda.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Pinkie, this is my griffon friend, Gilda.”

Pinkie tilted her head in confusion as she stared at the two. She admittedly didn’t know exactly what a griffon was, but Pinkie knew she did love meeting new ponies. Or well, griffons in this case.

“What’s a griffon?” Pinkie asked finally as Rainbow chuckled.

“She’s half-eagle, half-lion,” Rainbow explained as Pinkie nodded rapidly.

“Ooooooh coolio! Can you roar like a lion or make eagle sounds?”

“Uh yeah?”

“Gilda’s my best friend from my days at Junior Speedster flight camp. Hey, remember the chant?” Rainbow asked with a grin as Gilda rolled her eyes.

“Shit, they made us recite it every damn morning. I’ll never get that lame thing out of my head,” Gilda scoffed as Pinkie cracked her neck.

“Sooo you’ll sing it for me? Right?” Rainbow asked as Gilda groaned.

“Fine.”

“Junior Speedsters are our lives, sky-bound soars and daring dives. Junior Speedsters, it’s our quest, to someday be the very best!” The two sang as Pinkie giggled.

“That was ridiculous. I loved it. Oh that was awesome, and it gave me a great idea for a prank. Gilda, you game?” Pinkie asked hopefully as Gilda shrugged.

“Huh. Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next griffon. But Dash, you promised me we’d get a flying session in this morning.”

“Yeah, uh, well, Pinkie Pie, you don’t mind, do you? Gilda just got here. We’ll catch up with you later. I promise you, we can go prank someponies later.”

“Oh. Um, well sure, no problem. Have fun you guys, I’ll, uh, just catch up later,” Pinkie sighed sadly as the two flew off. “This blows.”

---

“What’s up with you?” Trixie asked as she and Roseluck trotted up to Pinkie slumped over on a table in Sugarcube Corner. “Got any peanut butter crackers?”

“Third cupboard on the left.”

“Thanks,” Trixie said as she wandered off and Roseluck sat next to Pinkie.

“You’re deflecting the question. What’s going on?” Roseluck asked as she wrapped her tail around herself. “You’re not your normal happy self.”

“So one of Rainbow Dash’s old friends from some flight camp is visiting,” Pinkie started a Roseluck nodded.

“Sounds normal so far. She always has friends visiting. What’s the catch?”

“Anyway, yeah. She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she pops my balloons, and she told me to buzz off. I’ve never met a griffon this mean. Well, actually, I’ve never met a griffon at all, but I bet if I had, she wouldn’t have been as mean and grumpy as Gilda. I’m about to say something I’ve never said but she is a meanie pants,” Pinkie said as she inhaled. “Wow, that was a lot to say.”

“That was a lot to take in,” Trixie chimed in as she slid next to Roseluck. “Trixie has met a griffon once. Not a nice creature. Bit of an asshole really.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Roseluck said as she sighed. “I haven’t met this Gilda yet but now I’m worried. Especially if she crosses Shoeshine or Sunset. Those two are serious and don’t play around if somepony disrespects em. I can’t imagine how Lily will react if she meets her. Lily is terrified of griffons.”

“Has she ever met one?” Pinkie asked and Roseluck froze.

“Well, uh not really but I’m sure she would be terrified if she met one,” Roseluck said finally. “Hell, I’m terrified too. So is Daisy.”

“Trixie is sure she would be,” Trixie commented dryly as she inhaled a peanut butter cracker. “Trixie is personally not happy about Gilda being here. Griffons in general are bad news. We should do something.”

“Trixie, we can’t just run out somepony because we don’t like them. You haven’t even met her yet-”

“Don’t plan on it either,” Trixie interjected as Roseluck slammed her head on the table.

“-As I was saying, if we could do that, Sunset would have ran Rainbow Dash out of town on Sunset’s first day in town. It’s not with Trixie and we all three know it.”

“Fine fine,” Trixie sighed as she ate another cracker. “Trixie will save her burning pitch forks for another time.”

“You have those?” Pinkie asked in a stunned tone. “I don’t any yet. My order hasn’t been delivered.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Roseluck said finally as she sighed. “Like honestly.”

“Nothing maybe,” Trixie suggested with a grin. “Pitch forks have lots of uses.”

“Name three.”

“Gathering hay,” Trixie started as Roseluck raised a hoof.

“Term is pitching hay but go on.”

“Runinng ponies out of town and drum roll please,” Trixie said as she pointed at Pinkie who started pounding her hooves against the table. “Pitching leaves.”

“Pitching hay and leaves are too close in similarity in my opinion,” Roseluck stated as Trixie flung her forelegs up in the air.

“Fine, killing somepony. There. Happy?”

Roseluck choked on air as Trixie and Pinkie high hoofed, laughing as Trixie patted Roseluck on the back.

“I can’t even believe you just said that,” Roseluck muttered as Trixie pushed a peanut butter cracker her way.

“Why do you think Trixie owns one?” Trixie asked with a smirk as Roseluck froze with the cracker halfway to her mouth.

“You’re joking, right?”

“That’s for you to decide,” Trixie commented with a shrug.

Roseluck shoved the thought to the back of her mind as she popped the cracker in her mouth.

“Huh, not bad.”

Comments

[Bronycommander]

nice take on the fourth wall

[Comickook]

Hey there. Thanks very much for getting this next chapter up and for going to the effort on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. I definitely liked the dialogue concerning Silverspeed preferring to EARN her rank on her own merits before Raindrops and Carrot see Pinkie on her pedal-powered helicopter (the little fourth wall break concerning background characters was a rather good bit) and the chat concerning griffons and pitchforks (of course, in the former case, Sunset would probably be on their case later about literally treating a zebra minding her own business like she's worse than Nightmare Moon despite doing nothing to deserve the treatment. But that's for later. At least three stories down the road, actually).

But, anyway, really looking forward to more of this.