Kin With The Scales

by PaprikaBluesAndCo

3: I Bringeth Forth the Drama, Unabridged, and Unignored

The quarry wasn't exactly hard to find. The town of Ponyville had distinct districts, and plenty of sign postage. From there it was just a matter of following the unique set of dragon tracks in the dirt path to get to my destination.
I came upon a steep hill, and instead of going to long way around, I opted to slide down the side with my dragon claws, a soft crumbling playing along to my descent.
I landed on an overhang above the quarry proper.

"Oh, hey," Spike said, his legs kicking off the side, "I didn't think you'd actually show up." He had a bag with him, which I guess was logical. He had to carry his shit somehow.
"And disrespect my big bro?" I scoffed. "Fuck that."

I noticed his silence. He seemed almost embarrassed.
"Aheh, yeah," Spike nervously said, "about that. I don't really know where that came from.."

I screwed up my mouth. This was the same dragon that just teased my DRT (dragon replacement therapy) until I begged for it, right?
He shrugged before I said anything. "It's just not every day that I have clear power over someone.. so.. I wanna apologize-"
"Dude, no, that was hot as fuck."
"What??" His eyes snapped up to me, he was definitely blushing. I was too. "We barely know each other though!"

I snorted. Exactly what Jer and Matt thought. Maybe this wouldn't end up horribly. I decided to push it.
"Okay. Then we just get to know each other. Let's shoot the breeze a bit."
I sat down next to him on the ledge, trying to come up with an idea. I recalled the comic he was reading..
"What were you reading, earlier, before, y'know.."
His eyes lit up. "Oh! The Power Ponies!"
Bingo. Jackpot. Uno. Yahtzee. Dead on, Jack. He reached into his messenger bag and pulled out an issue of the comic and handed it over. He went on a ramble about each of the ponies and their special powers.

Some of them were equivable to human superheroes like Hulk or the Flash, others were a bit more tough to pin down their analogues. It seemed that the narratives of the comic were more in the clear-cut-good-vs-evil style before everything got super dark and gritty, and way before they managed to find the right balance between grit and stupid fun.

Which honestly was a breath of fresh air for me. I always enjoyed the shenanigans that came from Adam West's style of Batman.
I finished reading the comic with him; the dastardly Hardware Horse and his plans to build the biggest grilling deck-patio by using all the forest's trees were thwarted for now. His army of toolbox dads would have to grill the HayDay Burger another day.
He then asked me about my own world's superheroes, and I found myself at a loss.

"We have like.. WAY too many.."

---

"...So then the roaches that Angelino fed start tracking him down, and the luchadors realize that the roach-shaped stain turned out to be a real prophecy." I rambled on about my favorite superhero movie, MFKZ. "So the luchadors start following the roaches, and they end up breaking into the Macho's facility and rescuing a scientist as well as Angelino and Vinz."

Growlllll.
My train of thought derailed and crashed into a ditch as I started to look around. "Fuck was that?"
"My stomach." Spike answered. "We've been here for a while."
"Ah, shit, that'll do it.." I looked around the quarry. "So.. how do we get us some gems?"
"Well, I usually get em myself, or Twilight gets them from the jeweler's if the quarry runs low."
"Wanna try our luck, then?"
"Sure!"

---

Dig, dig, dig, dig.
Crumbling earth and rubble.
It turns out that hunting for gems is very hard when you don't have any way of detecting them. Apparently that Rarity lady had a knack for it and incorporated such things into her fashion lineups, which sounded a bit tacky to me.

"So.. what do you do for a living exactly? I know you live with Princess Twilight.."
"Oh she's.. Kind of my big sister. Or Mom, depending on how you look at it. She hatched my egg, and raised me alongside her mentor, Princess Celestia. I'm her Number One Assistant."
"What, like, a secretary? Or a butler?"
"Eh. Little bit of both."

I stopped digging and eyed him up. "You're not being overworked, right...?"
"Pfft. No. If anyone gets overworked, it's Twilight. She's always up late studying or running herself ragged trying to figure out the latest friendship problem, or beating up the monster of the week with the others. Though as long as I make sure she gets food and some sleep, she functions just fine. Unless there's like a big problem she can't figure out."

"Where I assume she gets help from her friends..?"
"Yeah, preferably before she goes crazy."
"Well, I guess there's worse people to make into a god." I resumed my digging.
"What?"

He looked at me weird.
"Is she not a god??" I asked.
"What's a god?"

Man, I wish that were me, I thought.
"Nevermind. Human culture thing, I guess. Uh.. but yeah, Twilight's good to you?"
"I sure hope she is. It'd be weird if I still lived with somepony who was mean to me all the time."
MAN, I WISH THAT WERE ME.

"You sure? Sometimes it's hard to recognize when you're being used." I said, with genuine concern. He shook his head.
"Nah. If anypony did, it'd be.. Rarity. I.. I've had a crush on her for the longest time, and was pretty much a willing peon for a bit. Pincushion, errand boy, gem hunting tool. The works."
"Damn. That sucks ass, bro."
"Yeah, but.." He looked off into the distance. "We're fine now. Not GOOD. But fine. We're friends."
He crushed a whole ass rock in his claws when he said that. I decided not to push it.

---

"I think I found one?" I pulled up what was absolutely a gem, but it seemed dull, colorless, almost depressed? Spike plucked it out of my claw, and huffed a sigh upon seeing it.
"Yeah, this one's not ripe. See the lack of color or luster? Means it's not ready." He took the gem and stuffed it back into the dirt. "The mining ponies must've been through this area and got the gems already."
"How long will it take?"
"For them to be ready? Probably a few months."
I frowned.

"Hey, don't look at me! Typically it takes longer, but because of the Everfree forest, things die more frequently."
"Damn. I guess it's for the best that I talk to Twilight about it then."
"Yeah. Definitely." Spike nodded. He climbed out of the ditch we made, and offered a claw down to help me climb out. I reached out, and found his grip insanely strong. He lifted me out with less effort than I was expecting, and I promptly lost balance and fell atop him.

We stayed like that for a good few seconds, before I rolled off to the side, definitely flustered, and he giggled.
"You make the funniest faces when you're all worked up like that."

---

I ended up regrouping with Jer and Matt on the way back to the castle. The second they spotted me with Spike, though..
"HA! You owe me five bucks." Matt grinned.
Jer shook his head, slapped a five in Matt's hand, and folded his arms. "You are hopeless, Sal. He knew you were gonna go hang with Spike."

Spike shrugged, "Not my fault I'm so cool and interesting." He joked.
Matt had that dramatic swoon about him. "Alas," he falsely grieved, placing the back of his hand to his temple, "Our dear friend has been led astray by the wiles of this beaste! Oh, woe to us, for De Boys stand at the end of their friendship..! Aboo! Aboo-hoo-hoooo!"

"Shut uuuup.." I tried to playfully jab him in the gut, but he dodged.
"So.. why are you two covered in dirt.?" Jer asked.
"We went to look for gems."
"Ah.." Jer nodded. "I think it can digging in the ground for tubers."
"Uh, what?" Spike asked.
"Don't worry about it, it's a meme. Human running joke on the Internet." Jer answered, then defined his answer.

"One of these days I'm gonna borrow Twilight's computer to see what this meme stuff is all about." Spike shook his head.
"Oh, speaking of tubers, we got you some food." Matt handed me a to-go box. "Gnocchi and lasagna. No meat, obviously, but they did have like.. a soy crumble alternative."
"Oh hell yeah. Let's head on back though, yeah?"
Everyone nodded.

---

The castle was dark inside for some reason. Spike fumbled for the light switch, flicked it on and,

"SURPRIIIIIIISE!!"

I'm frozen. A sea of eyes and noise. Chattering, cheering, maybe. So many goddamn people in the room. Some kinda pink superball asking me a load of questions, I can't hear them over my pounding heart. No, no, no, no, no.
They're gonna drown me again. I could hear that fucking song. "Our God is an awesome God, he reigns.."

No, no, no, no!! Stop! Stop!!
STOP!!
Run, run right now, right FUCKING now! Not again, not fucking again. Don't even know where I'm going. Bare feet on a concrete floor. Then grass. The noise stops.
My heart doesn't.

-----------------

"Sal! Saaaaaaal! Sal!"
Jerome, I think. I don't know.
A concerned face crests over the hill. Definitely Jerome. He spots me, I growl. He puts his hands up in a placating gesture.

"Easy bud. No baptism today. We're not in a Christian country."
That didn't help. I growl again.
"Can you talk?"
I shake my head. If I talk, they'll hear me.
"I'm gonna sit right next to you. That ok?"

I'm silent for a bit. I nod.
He sits down next to me.
"I'm gonna help you ground yourself, okay?"
He places my water bottle down in front of me, opens it up, and gently pours it near me.
"Not holy water."
He holds it up to me.
"Can you take one sip for me, please?"

A few drops make it in. Crisp. Clear. Forces me to breathe differently, but not steady.

"Sal?"
Jer looks up. It's Spike.
"Hey, Spike, keep your voice down." Jer. "They're having a PTSD attack."
"Sounds serious. Can I help? I've helped Twilight with this sorta thing.."

His eyes. His eyes looked like the demons that my parents warned me about. He wasn't a demon right? I'm not a demon right? My claws. Fuck. They were right. I'm a monster.
Jer says something. I can't hear. I don't want to be saved anymore. I'm , I'm, I'm,--

"Hey, hey, I see you spiraling in there!" His eyes glared into mine. "Look at me, Sal."
I didn't wanna anger him. I did as he said.

"Take a deep breath."
Inhale.
"Hold for four seconds."
One.
Two.

Three.

"Now breathe out."
Exhale.
"Okay, again."
Inhale; one, two, three, four; exhale.
"Again."
Repeat.
"You're doing great, Sal. Again."
Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat.

"Good, now, what did Angelino do to fend off the police?"
Huh?
I blinked.

"In the police raid. What did he do." He repeated.
The movie? Why was he asking about that? He.. well, I.. I knew the answer to that.
"H-he. He threw a pizza. To attract the roaches. And used Vinz' flame to set the other cop on fire. And he got a gun to shoot the third guy."
Jer looked intrigued at this method. It was working, too. I was coming down from it, and I felt my muscles relax a little.

Jer leaned in a bit. "You wanna talk about what happened?"
"N-no. Not yet."
Spike held up the to-go box. "You dropped this."
Oh, thank the gods, food.
It was a little smashed, but I didn't care. I grabbed the food with my claws and shoveled it all to my mouth.
"That help?" Spike asked. I nodded.

After a few minutes, I was steady.
"So.. what happened?" I asked.
"Turns out Pinkie Pie stayed in town so she could throw you three a surprise party." Spike answered. "You freaked out and ran."
I swallowed another glob of pasta and potato. "I ... I don't do crowds well."
He studied me up, then nodded, getting up. "I'll go talk to Pinkie. She must be devastated right now."

I felt a pang of guilt. Jer placed a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, it's alright. She didn't know, none of us even met her up until then."
I swallowed more food.
"I just.. I got reminded of the baptism."
"Ooh. Yeah." Jer nodded. "Well, look at the bright side! Definitely no Christians in Ponyville!"
"Really?"
"Yeah. I haven't seen a single church. And also.. you're turning into a dragon, dude. I really doubt any missionaries would try to push their dogma on the guy who's turning into a dragon."
"Haha.. yeah. I'm not a, demon, am I?"
"No, dude, you're a dragon. Your parents are still wrong."
"Mm.."
"Maybe they mistook all your dragon traits for demon traits. Not like they'd know the difference. They see you growing horns and claws, and they'd assume it's 'the Enemy'. OoOoOooo." He punctuated his argument with a silly ghost noise.
I paused. "Horns? What horns?"
".. Oh, shit, did you not know?"
"Know what?"

He gingerly placed a hand on one of the nubs on my forehead. My eyes widened, and I broke out into manic laughter.
Jer grinned.

---

"CANNONS TO THE LEFT OF THEM, CANNONS TO THE RIGHT OF THEM, CANNONS IN THE FRONT OF THEM, VOLLEY AND THUNDER!"
Matt had apparently become the life of the party by channeling his power in theater and performing monologues to the ponies. He always knew how to work a crowd.
He somehow got a hold of a really big stick, a hefty branch that wouldn't go amiss in a wizard's arsenal.
I knew what he was reciting, too. He was performing a poem from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

I'm pretty sure that's where it was from, anyways.

Pinkie Pie - I assumed that's who that was, because she was pink and talking to Spike - nodded solemnly over and over as Spike explained what happened. She looked up, saw me, and her mane puffed up from straight to curly like dough in a timelapse. She almost jumped towards me, before she looked to Spike, and opted for an enthusiastic wave. I gave a tired wave back, and perused through the snacks. I served myself some punch and some cookies, then climbed the stairs to my room.

After snacking on the food, I put on a CD on my old Walkman, put on the headphones, and stretched out on the floor.

---

Day two of the project had begun. Burlane has thankfully been elsewhere when we started, allowing us to continue without interruption. By about 1:40, Twilight returned, and burst into the room. She seemed like she'd lost sleep over the idea that we'd fuck this up, and then she blinked.
"Oh! Oh, good, I was worried that something would happen." She giggled nervously.
"Ah toldja Twi, these fellas take their job mighty serious." Applejack followed her into the room.

"Welcome back, bossmare." Jer waved idly as he transcribed another passage from the book he was working on.
"The books we're done with are over there." Matt jabbed a finger to the Done Pile.
Twilight looked over and balked. "YOU DID ALL OF THOSE ALREADY?" Apparently we were ahead of schedule.

"Yeah. Trust but verify, you can check the files on your own computer, Twilight." I answered.
She did just that, logging into her PC and reviewing each document carefully. As she did, her smile grew wider and wider. "Absolutely no discrepancies or mistakes! You even replicated the diagrams..! How did you do that?"
"Oh, I'm a hobbyist artist. I brought a digital tablet with me." Jer smiled.
It's true. I paid him to draw some art of my fursona once.

Twilight squealed in delight and clapped her hooves. "You three are doing amazingly! If you keep this up, we might have this project done much faster than I had originally calculated!"
We looked at each other. A small glimmer of hope began to shine in our eyes.

I then remembered what I promised Spike yesterday.
"Hey, uhm, Twilight. Can I talk to you about something? It's a bit important."
"Hm? Oh, sure." She then furrowed a brow. "Applejack, I know you have to get back to your farm, but if you or the girls run into Burlane anywhere.. could you let me know?"
"Sure can, sugarcube." She trotted off. Twilight and I left the room. I had kept wearing my dysphoria hoodie and long skirt, so I figured she hadn't seen yet.

"So what's going on, Sal?"
I heaved a long, heavy sigh. "So, I'm in a weird situation. Uh.. Spike made me promise to tell you this yesterday, it's kinda important.. do you remember yesterday, at breakfast, when Matt was recovering from trying the gem dust?"
"Uh-huh?" Twilight looked concerned.
"I uh.. I tried some of it too, and, weeeeeeellllll.." As I drew out that last word, I slowly removed my claw from my dysphoria hoodie's pocket.

Her eyes grew to the size of novelty dinner plates.
I flashed my half-dragon teeth. "It was really, really tasty."

---

My ears were still ringing from the sheer magnitude of her shouting "WHAT?!"

She pulled me with her magic over to one of her library sections and proceeded to skim through every book in search of an answer.
I sat at across the table from her, perfectly still, afraid that I'd be hit by a stray tome.
"This doesn't make any sense! How is it that you're turning into a dragon?? There's nothing recorded about any other creatures turning into dragons before.."
"Well, earlier Spike said that I had dragon blood in me." I shrugged.
"But how?!" Twilight asked. "Terran creatures don't have naturally occuring magic! Earth barely even has a natural magic cycle!! Dragons would never be able to survive there, there's no way that you inherited dragon blood!"
I leaned back in my chair and thought about it.

"Well.. dragons exist in human culture, right?" I suggested. "So then.. what if this isn't the first encounter between these two worlds?"
Twilight stopped flying books around and looked at me.

"It's entirely possible this isn't the first worldgate that was established on a societal level. Especially because, well, there's a lot of human lore about dragons, even though scientists never confirmed their existence. The stories always involved either stealing from their hoards or outright killing them, so if dragons from a bygone age attempted contact with humanity before, it's entirely possible that the relationship ended on a really sour note. Especially if you consider the fact that the Library of Alexandria, which was an accumulation of human knowledge, burnt down and sent humanity into a dark age where magic and witchcraft was considered demonic and punishable by death, and, well.. the puzzle pieces kinda line up."

Twilight silently pondered the idea. She reshelved the hovering books, and hummed in thought.
"It's possible, but to confirm that we'd have to get in contact with historians from the dragon lands. And we haven't exactly.. opened up relations with that chunk of our world."

I raised my eyebrows. "Hasn't this country existed for a thousand years? How come you guys haven't?"
"More than that, actually, and we used to. But after Discord's first reign of chaos and the banishing of Nightmare Moon, the neighbors more or less closed off the borders. They heard about how those two were defeated, and thought that we'd do the same to them."

"A valid fear to have, t-b-q-h."
"What's that mean?"
"To be quite honest." I shrugged. "But that's neither here nor there. What are we gonna do about the whole 'ask the dragons for their diaries' thing? Send me and Spike in?"
"What?! No, not at all. First off, Spike is barely a young adult, more of a late teen, in a dragon's eyes. Secondly, you're not even a dr-"

I was looming over Twilight and partially on top of the table before I'd even registered what she said. She was holding up a magical shield, studying me with suddenly academic eyes.

Maintaining eye contact, she pulled a pen and a pad towards her and wrote aloud,
"Notes. Sal Carmine Manchester, born human, sex disambiguation declined, early 20s. After consuming an Equestrian gem, patches of scales and other draconic attributes began to develop. Noted to exhibit draconic behaviors prior to arrival to Equestria and subsequent exposure to magic, primarily hoarding and preference of stone flooring for bedding. Proceeding arrival, subject developed kinship with Number One Assistant at 21:45 hours. Subject also reacts aggressively towards verbal denial of alleged heritage."

"Was that really necessary??" I grit my teeth, sitting back down as she lowered the shield.
"Yes, I wanted to see if you would react to being called human."
Flinch, ow, my heart. That dysphoria pang again. She gave a sheepish grin. "Sorry."
Then she stood up, levitating the pen and pad, and circled me.
"Have the scales developed anywhere else?" She asked. I hiked up my skirt and stuck my leggy out real far.

"Fascinating!" she chirped, and wrote down, "Subject's orthopedic structure displays signs of being magically altered as time proceeds. Heel and Achilles tendon now stand higher than previously observed; subject's legs may transition from plantigrade to digitigrade, as is standard for adult dragons."

Oh fuck yes! Very gender. I put my leg down; She looked up from her notes to me. "Does it hurt?"
"Kinda, but in the way that growing pains tend to."
She nodded and wrote down, "Subject expresses minute pain, comparing it to pains typically experienced during pubescence. Anything else?"
"Eating more gems makes it jump forward for a bit."
"Subject observed that consumption of Equestrian gems accelerates development for a brief amount of time. Care to demonstrate?"
".. Aren't I supposed to be working on the archival project right now?"
She shook her head. "You three are already well ahead of schedule. We can spare a bit of time."

I shrugged. "Aight."
She squeed, and magically retrieved a gem from what I assumed was Spike's stash. This one was green. A brilliant emerald that seemed to hold a secret of nature the more I stared at it.

"Is that one of Spike's?"
"It is, but I was going out to replenish his gem supply today anyways."
"If you say so.."
She placed the gem in my claw, and I popped it into my mouth.

Barley, lemon-lime soda, rich green vegetables - peas, spinach, lettuce, celery, and other things I don't know the name of. A mash of sour candy mixed in, and green tea, and I felt like I had just eaten digested sun, aged in a cask of old plants that had decomposed long ago, leaving naught but the chlorophyll behind.

"Observation of gem consumption matches with previously stated. Scales now reach past subject's elbows and knees, respectively. Small bumps atop head indicate horns in progress. One bump at end of spine indicates initiation of tail development, possible additions to spinal bones, x-ray suggested. And lastly, subject has not developed wings despite their relative age. Possible side effect of not having a substantial magic pool until recently."

My torso was prone on the table. I slowly pushed myself back up into sitting upright, and worked my jaw. Then Twilight jumped on the table and opened my jaw with her magic and shone a light inside. "Oral interior is identical to that of a young adult dragon. Teeth are healthy and well aligned, no record of dental health prior to transformation."

Woah. My eyebrows shot up.
"My teeth were fucked. My parents never took me to the dentist." I groaned as she let me go, moving back to her seat.
"Correction. Subject reports significant improvement in dental health, citing neglect of dental visits during human youth."

"Y'know, when Spike told me I should talk to you about it, I didn't expect to be suddenly analyzed."
"Why not?!" She threw her hooves up in the air. This is a landmark moment for ponies and humans! A scientific marvel! A potential chance for humanity to smoothly integrate into our societies when they see that with the power of magic and friendship, we have so much in common! A-"
"A problem."

Twilight stopped and looked at me. "A problem?"
"Yeah. If my boss hears about this he'll fire me for conflict of interests or something."
"Hear about what??" Burlane asked from behind, entering the room. I smelled grease and bread. Fast food, most likely.

I didn't jump, but Twilight did. That bastard had a tendency to do that. I shoved my claws back in my hoodie pockets and kept my hindclaws above the skirt's length. I struggled to maintain composure as I came up with an adequate lie. Twilight looked up at Burlane in a mixture of annoyance and slight fear.

"I've developed a magic pool, sir."
He sneered weirdly. "So, what, you're gonna become a wizard?"
"Studying under Twilight in my free time, yes."
"Well you don't have free time right now, do you? Get back up to the office and back to work. Once you're done with the project, I couldn't give a rats ass about what you do. So move!"
"I'm on lunch."
"Lunch? Sally, you and I both know we're not in America, there's no such thing as a lunch here."
"Actually, Mister Burlane," Twilight, my savior, spoke, "all creatures in Equestria are entitled to two thirty minute breaks, and one lunch break with a minimum of forty-five minutes, up to an hour and a half. Deliberately withholding breaks from a creature can be a detriment to mental, physical, and magical health, and therefore is considered a misdemeanor in most cities. Punishable by up to fifty thousand bits based on severity of the infraction."

Burlane sputtered. "Two thirty minute breaks? Nothing will ever get done!!"
"On the contrary, Burlane, your team is performing admirably. Should they have all needs properly met, it's entirely possible that they can finish the project much faster than I initially projected."

Burlane slowly raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
"I am willing to negotiate performance bonuses if this all goes swimmingly." She smirked, countering with her own eyebrow.
I practically saw dollar signs flash in my boss' eyes, before he reeled back, and folded his arms. "I sense a 'but' coming on."
"Indeed. But, and I cannot stress this enough, your employees are to be given every respect and accomodation they ask for, and that is legally required by Equestrian law. We ponies take labor very seriously. A happy and healthy worker gets more done." She smiled, satisfied.

..

"Sure, whatever." Burlane snorted. He set his square jaw, and clenched it, so I could tell he was pissed with this development.
And when he got pissed, he started to plan.

---

Once upon a time, the department I worked at was actually more than three people and the worst boss ever. It was a robust team of employees that actually gave a shit, until the CEO brought his nephew, Burlane onto the team. He didn't initially start out his career at this particular department, but after a particularly nasty strings of resignations citing a "hostile work environment" in the higher echelons of management, the CEO shoved Burlane into middle management and proceeded with the damage control as opposed to any actual restitution. The rest of our team eventually started to be quietly worn down, as Burlane's horrible attitude grated our ears.

And then he started to sabotage us.
It was never proven true, but the team started seeing negative marks our performance reviews for things we may or may not have done. Whenever someone pissed Burlane off, he got quiet and started to plan a way to sabotage that person's work, and then that person was either fired for some reason, or jumped ship before it got worse.

And then it was just us three, me and my boys, sticking together and lifting each other up. The only reason we had survived under Burlane for this long was because we all started to develop paper trails of each other to prove we were all up to par. Ever since then, we've been at a tense stalemate, and with the job economy being as fucked as it is, we would be just as fucked as he would be if we all lost our jobs.

So there we all were, stuck at a stalemate until a weak chain link could be broken in the de-fence. All Burlane had to do was wait until he had something he could spin into a valid reason to fire just one of us, and the other two would follow suit eventually. But at long as he left us alone, we did too, and didn't complain about his tendencies to anyone higher up. It had worked, up until now.

Which is why I was absolutely terrified to become a full-fledged dragon. He could absolutely spin my transformation into "use of illicit drugs" or something.
I was raised human, built my ideals on human thoughts, and unemployment was a fate worse than death in the American economy.

At least your loved ones could collect life insurance if you played the cards right.

Though, it'd probably all be used to pay for the funeral costs.
Some days I wish I had Jer's optimism.