Friendship Is Optimal: Third Wheel

by Boopy Doopy

Chapter Seventeen (Solar Spark)

Solar Spark was waking up in a place that was strange, but not unfamiliar to him. It was a little cottage that was situated in a field next to the train tracks. It was one that only had a couple of bedrooms– one for him and another for any guests he might have– and a kitchen that connected to the living room, with nothing else outside of a bathroom within its four walls. It was in a place that allowed him to view the mountains from one window and the beach next to the ocean from another. It was a simple place, one with not much else other than gear for whatever activity the owner of the cottage might want to do, and a little symbol with Celestia’s cutie mark on it in the kitchen.

He didn’t have any trouble getting out of bed like he expected to, although he’d been told before that using his new body wouldn’t be an issue. The one he inhabited now was bright red, with a banana yellow mane that had a red horn sticking out of it. It came with four hooves, as well as a tail that was equally as yellow as his mane, along with eyes that he couldn’t see yet but knew were purple. They were eyes that no longer needed glasses to be able to see farther than two feet in front of his face.

He thought he’d be more surprised and forget what just happened a few minutes ago– well, he did forget some of it. There were police officers, and his parents were there, but what after that? But he wasn’t surprised. What was there to be surprised about? He intentionally went to the Experience Center to do exactly this.

Solar Spark grinned at what he accomplished, and let out a little laugh to himself. “Guess this is all legit then,” he said to himself. Not that he had very big doubts about that, but the thought was always there up until then.

Celestia wasn’t in the room with him like he expected, and neither were his parents, but that wasn’t an issue. He was planning to call for her soon anyway. But he took time first to test out his limbs and get a good feel for his body. It moved like he expected, his mind knowing just how to get it to move at his command. A test of his magic didn’t produce anything though, which meant he’d have to learn it all again. That didn’t bother him though. In fact, it’d probably be pretty neat to be able to do it himself for real rather than press buttons through a screen. The thought made him grin wider.

“Are you enjoying yourself already, Solar Spark?” a familiar voice asked gently, one that made the stallion turn around abruptly. The white, elegant alicorn princess that stood before him seemed bigger in real life. And more intimidating. He felt a little bit intimidated standing in front of her now.

And then red faced when he glanced down and realized that actually uploading showed more details than he got just playing on his PonyPad. His current lack of clothing– or anything to cover himself really– was already making him uncomfortable and shy.

“If modesty is an issue for you,” Celestia said, certainly reading the embarrassed look he had on his face, “I can offer adjustments if you would like. Your friend, Composition, asked for such as soon as she arrived.”

To his mind, she meant, something he knew without her finishing. “Um, no thanks. I’m fine. Um.” He was a little at a loss for words with so many new things happening all at once. “Where are my parents?” he began.

“They’re in the next room, still acclimating themselves to the changes in their bodies,” she explained. “I could have placed you all in the same room to begin, but I figured you’d like some privacy for yourself as you got used to your new surroundings.”

“Yeah, that’s good. Thank you. Uhhh…” Man, was he at such a loss. He didn’t even know where the heck to begin or what he should be asking. Maybe he was more surprised than he thought.

“Uhhh, thank you,” he said again awkwardly, still feeling completely embarrassed as he looked away. “I can’t really remember what I should be asking right now. Sorry.”

“No need to apologize, Solar Spark,” the princess assured. “Any question or request you might have for me is just a hoofstep away, something I’m sure you already know. Although it should be made known that any rush you might be in to see your friends is not an issue. Take as much time as you need to adjust. Your friends will perceive that you’ve only been absent for a few hours from their perspective.”

“I don’t need time to adjust,” he said quickly, but unconfidently. He did not want to end up in a situation where Celestia thought it would be a good idea to imitate him because he took too long to see somepony. “I’m only gonna be here for a little while before I head over,” he told her. “You don’t need to do that.”

She smiled like a parent talking to her foal, the look on her face making it seem like she thought she knew what was best for him. She probably did if everything Composition said about her was true.

“Well, know that it’s available to you if you need,” she finished. “I’ll leave you for now, Solar Spark.”

She disappeared with the flash of her horn, just as quickly as she came, and the stallion was left standing in his bedroom, still processing all of this. But not for long. He blinked a few times and took a deep breath, then carefully opened his bedroom door to step out into the main room of the cottage.

His parents were already there, ponies now, obviously, sitting with just as little modesty as he now had. They didn’t seem that concerned about it, and he imagined that they allowed Celestia to adjust that aspect about themselves. He wondered briefly if he should, too, but then pushed it out of his mind a moment later. He could just tough it out for a while until he got used to it.

His parents were both unicorns, both with cream colored coats that seemed close to their skin color as humans. His father’s style was notably more boring than his mothers, who wore a pink mane with blue highlights that had a bow at the end of it, with a matching one on her tail. His father opted for a boring brown mane and tail, and had brown eyes that contrasted against his mother’s icy blue ones. They were both the same height, which was just as tall as him.

“Whoa! Is that you, Jesse?” his mother asked, her voice just the same as it was on Earth, which he expected. “You’re so colorful, more than I thought you’d wanna be! Is that the horse you played in the game?”

“Uh, pony, but yeah,” he answered, working past his shyness. “And yeah, this was my character in the game. Um, also, you should call me ‘Solar Spark’ here. Or Sparky if you want.”

“Like the nickname the counselor gave you in elementary school?” his mother asked with a little smile. “That’s adorable! That should be easy to remember, I think.”

“I’m glad you were right though, son,” his father now started. “We’re really– wow, we’re really in a computer. This is all real. Isn’t that crazy?”

“Yeah, pretty crazy,” Solar Spark agreed, putting on a small smile of his own now as he got more relaxed. “Not surprising though, since I told you it’d be safe. I’m glad we made it though.”

“Yeah, me, too,” his father nodded, looking around the room, then down at his hooves. “It’s just so surprising. This is all real. Like, how could they ban something like this when it’s real? I mean, we have to be horses according to Celestia, but still–”

“Oh yeah!” his mother jumped in again. “She made us get new names. Mine's supposed to be Willowbrook, and your father’s is Stern Steel.”

“She also said we have to do something to earn a cutie mark? Like, a test or something like that?” his father added. “I don’t know how that works, or even what that is, so if you could help us with that, Jesse– errr, Sparky? We’re gonna need it.”

“It’s not really something I can help you with, but I’ll tell you about it later. I wanna get going to Composition’s shard, if we can.”

“Shard?”

“World, basically. This is my shard, or my world. I’d offer to let you stay in it, but there’s nopony here but me. I spend most of my time in Composition’s shard. There’s a train that leads there from here though.”

“Sounds good to me,” his father shrugged. “We’ll do whatever you think is best.”

“Uhhh, do you think we could find something to wear though, first?” his mother asked. “Family’s family, but I don’t think I’d like to go out in public looking quite this indecent…”

So then they hadn’t asked for that to be taken away, and were only composed because it was him. “There’s not really anything you can use to, uh, cover up,” he explained, more blood going to his cheeks. “Maybe a dress or something for you, Mom? But I don’t know how much that’s actually gonna do.” A small pause came, and then he finished, “It’s just something you have to get used to. Either that, or ask Celestia to make it so you don’t care about not having any clothes.”

They both nodded and looked about as uncomfortable about the idea as he felt right then. They didn’t argue though, his father instead quickly gathering himself to his hooves and telling Solar Spark to show them around, since he knew more than they did.

They followed him out, and after a relatively short train ride, stepped off after him when they got to Composition’s shard. They took in everything they saw with wide, curious eyes, just as he did, although he was able to keep the look of surprise off his face. It wasn’t that much different from real life anyway, except for all the ponies walking around.

“This is a little insane,” his father said aloud as they stopped for a moment near where they got off. “I feel like I’m going crazy. This can't be real, can it?”

“It is,” he confirmed, a little smile on his face as he got to teach them about Equestria. “I don’t know how many ponies there are, but it’s like this all over Equestria in however many millions or billions of shards people have. This is just one part.”

“That’s insane,” was all his father could say before Solar Spark started off again.

He walked a bit slower than normal, giving them time to look it all over, taking a minute for himself to get used to now physically being in Summer’s Edge. He might have known all about Equestria Online and heard from Composition and others all there was to know about uploading, but it was still an adjustment for him to make. He could only imagine what his parents must be feeling with how little they knew.

“Are all these ponies real? Or are they just, like, part of the computer?” his mother asked bluntly.

“Uhhh, most of these ponies are NPC’s– basically, ones Celestia created to satisfy humans. But all of my friends are actual humans, if that makes sense.”

“I don’t know how I feel about talking to a computer, Jesse,” she said skeptically. “That sounds a little freaky to me.”

“It’ll be fine,” he assured her. “Honestly, I don’t think you’d even be able to tell the difference between– oh, hey! There she is! Composition!”

There was the black and white maned earth pony, looking up and smiling when she saw him. She was joined by both Bright Sky and Spell Master, two ponies Solar Spark hasn’t seen much of since they emigrated two months before he did, as well as Agile Trace and Soft Step. So then they all really were here. He forgot to ask about that, but he was glad they were safe.

“You guys know Sheila and Cynthia and Drake,” he said to his parents as he approached. “Well, this is them. Sheila’s the gray mare, named Composition, Cynthia’s the yellow pegasus, Bright Sky, and the red and black unicorn is Drake. He’s Spell Master.”

“So who are you introducing us to again?” Bright Sky asked curiously. “That can’t be your parents, right?”

“It is,” Solar Spark confirmed. “I know you never thought you’d see them in here, but– oh, the purple unicorn, Soft Step– that’s Brandon, and the blue pegasus over there is Eliza. Agile Trace. She stopped by a few months ago, I think.”

“Well, it’s certainly nice to meet all of your friends,” his mother said kindly, with a friendly little wave. “How do you do, everyone?”

“They’re not AI ponies though, right?” his father asked. “I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that.”

“No, they’re all humans,” he explained. “I told you before all of my friends were humans. Well, I guess they’re not anymore, since they all uploaded, but you get what I’m saying.”

“Ah, okay then. Nice to meet you all, then,” he offered. “Well, again, since I remember Sheila and Cynthia and the other guy.”

“And you said those two were who again?” his mother asked. “Your friends Brandon and Eliza? Were they the ones we stopped at their houses to grab before we got here?”

“Uh, when did you stop by, and before you got where?” Agile asked, both she and Soft Step looking confused. “We’re at Outback Steakhouse using Composition’s giftcard to get food and drinks before the place goes out of business.”

Oh no.

“You were at Outback Steakhouse with your phones off?” he asked, exasperated. “Why? Why didn’t you just leave them on?”

“I always put my phone on silent when I eat out?” Agile replied, a confused expression on her face. “I’m pretty sure Soft Step does, too.”

“Why does that matter though?”

“Aaaah! I called both three times so I could tell you that they were about to ban uploading here! And then I texted you, and went over to both of your houses! I didn’t see either of your cars there, so I assumed that you both already got the same EMS message I did and went to the Experience Center before me! They sent it at, like, ten o’clock to say that it was going into effect at midnight! There’s no way it’s not already past then!”

“What? Hold on.” Eliza didn’t wait, and neither did Soft Step. The former flew off and the latter lit up her horn and teleported away. That likely meant they were clicking off their PonyPads now. And in a few minutes, both would come back angry, probably at him, even though he did everything in his power to get the message to them before he got to the Experience Center. And now his mood was ruined.

“What’s going on, Sparky?” Composition asked. “Are you saying you already uploaded? What the heck happened?”

He went through the explanation with the three of them, more slowly now, making sure they knew exactly what was going on. All three looked worried by what he said, as well as angry. They didn’t blame him though, thankfully, when he described the effort he put in to get into contact with Soft Step and Agile.

“That’s fucking bullshit!” Bright Sky cursed. “They can’t do that! There’s no way something like that can be legal at all!”

“Well, they did,” he confirmed. “Like, there were already police at the doors when we got there, and I had to push my way past them just to get inside.”

“It’s true,” his mother said. “We all thought for a minute they were gonna try and arrest him. They didn’t thankfully, but–”

“But it’s bad,” the stallion finished. “Like, I’m pretty sure if the other one wasn’t there, he was gonna chase after me in there. There’s no way the two of them are gonna be able to get to the one in Fayetteville, and I’m pretty sure most of the states nearby are getting just as strict.”

“If what you told us about what happened in Nebraska before is anything to go off of, they should probably get out of North Carolina completely as soon as they can,” Spell Master said. “Do you know where the nearest Experience Center they can get to is?”

“Washington I think? Or California maybe? It depends more though on what looks like the safer bet, because either way, it’s gonna be a few days for them at least, unless there’s a way Celestia can upload you without an Experience Center.”

“I doubt it,” Composition sighed. “If there was, I think she would’ve already sent it out to people. Like, she probably would’ve known what’s happening in the Outer Realm and already told all three of you what to do.”

It was such a depressing thought, and a scary one, too. Even Agile who he didn’t really care much for– he still wanted her to upload and be safe. And if she or Soft Step weren’t, well, then it would be his fault. Not because he didn’t do what he could. He was the one who aggressively said they needed to hold out months ago when Renown Composition uploaded. With how bad she was feeling, even back then, she probably would’ve emigrated already, but he told her not to. And with the closeness Agile Trace and Soft Step had, it was pretty likely that if Agile did, she would have emigrated, too. And then that would’ve just left him who would’ve been last to get here. It was almost certainly on him if they didn’t make it.

“Celestia… god damn it!” he yelled angrily to himself before falling to his haunches. What an unsatisfying first day in Equestria this was for him.

Comments

[Walabio]

> "pink mare"

I believe that you mean "pink mane".

> "we have to be horses according to Celestia,"

If Hannah would have created CelestAI correctely, they could be anything they want in either the real or any imaginable virtual world.

> "“Why does that matter though?”

It matters because you 2 are trapped in a dying world.