In a world where satisfaction is considered a guarantee, Sheila knows her position is an unwinnable one, at least, not without lies and compromises. CelestAI, however, has a way of forcing satisfaction upon ponies, with little concern for the price.
Sheila could say that, while she wasn't exactly satisfied with her life yet, she enjoyed it. She had nice friends to talk to, hobbies she enjoyed, and while she might have been conflicted about some things, she had a lifetime to think it over before she would emigrate. By then, everything would be as she wanted it, and there would be nothing left to worry about.
And then she was shot.
Now she and her friends find themselves navigating a position that's seemingly untenable, one with waters muddied by a dictatorial AI hellbent on providing satisfaction through friendship and ponies. With the line between what's genuine and what's not unclear, the position seems an unwinnable one. Someone will draw the short straw, and have to face a life that's unfulfilled. Any other path to satisfaction now forces it to be made from lies and deception.
Satisfaction may be a guarantee in the world of Equestria Online, but at what cost does satisfaction come?
Cover art by Madelinne. Her art is extremely good, and very wonderful, and I appreciate her allowing me to commission her for this story.
With great help by Starscribe, who's FiO stories inspired me to write this to begin with and who sat with me for hours to help me outline this story and give it its sense of direction.
Sheila imagined that it would be many years before she would be having her going away party. She did consider that it would be in a hospital room when it was had, but didn’t think she’d be just twenty-two years old when it took place.
Jesse was the first to arrive, predictably enough. Somehow, despite the circumstances, he was able to put on a warm smile, and carried with him balloons as though this might be an actual going away party. They had bold lettering on them that told her to get well soon, however, Sheila was certain she wouldn’t be getting better. Five years ago that might be the case, but organ transplants these days were very hard to come by.
“Hey,” he greeted casually, setting the balloons down at her bedside and adjusting his glasses. “How are you feeling? Any better?”
“A little bit,” she answered, “but I’m not sure if that changes anything. You’d think there’d be livers everywhere whenever anyone needs one these days, but apparently they’re hard to come by. Who knew?”
“Yeah, that’s not surprising,” he said, grabbing a chair and scooting close to the bed as a few more of her friends entered the room, carrying more balloons and gifts with them. Drake and Cynthia were there, holding each others’ hands and grabbing the other two chairs before Brandon stepped in, too. Eliza wasn’t with them though, something Sheila noticed right away.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if Celestia was intentionally doing something to prevent people from getting care to force them into uploading,” Jesse continued. “I wouldn’t put it past her, considering… well, everything else.” He wore a scowl as he used his hands to gesture at nothing in particular. Or maybe the whole world.
“Maybe,” the girl said, mostly dismissively, disregarding how true it might or might not have been. She knew more about Celestia than most of the rest of her friends, if not all of them. She didn’t want to explain how far down the rabbit hole you could go only to find the AI at the bottom of it. She didn’t think Celestia would’ve set up events for her to get shot by that mugger, but she wouldn’t be surprised.
“Although I guess that means everyone will be able to see whether or not Equestria is legit,” she added. “Unless I die and it’s just a copy of me you talk to. That wouldn’t be ideal.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” Brandon agreed. “So, uh, we’re gonna hope for the former. I mean, if she’s going this far to get people to upload, then it must be legit, right? I’m sure you’ll be fine, Sheila.”
“Yeah,” Cynthia spoke up. “My dad uploaded, and as far as I can tell, he’s actually there. There’s no way any computer could copy someone that perfectly.”
“I know. It’s just scary since it’s me,” Sheila said. “I’d rather them just find a transplant for me and wait until I’m eighty instead of risking it all right now. Attending a going away party is not the same as being the subject of one.”
“If Eliza was here,” Jesse joked, “I’m sure she’d talk about how this is a pretty lame going away party. We have balloons here, but no cake. What kind of party doesn’t have that?”
“I’m sure she would,” Sheila smiled. “Actually, she’s supposedly bringing cake later today, but she told me she’s not gonna be here for a few more hours.”
“Well I don’t plan on staying here that long,” he said. “I can go without cake. Pie is better anyway.”
“And it’s not even supposed to be a party, really,” Drake said. “You’re gonna get better, and within a few weeks, you’ll be back to normal.”
“Oh hey, Sheila!” Cynthia spoke up now. “We got you gifts!,” she said as she presented a wrapped up box of something to her. “I mean, most of the things we got you don’t really do that much good if you really do emigrate, but I guess that’s more incentive to make sure these doctors find you a transplant, right?”
It was a grim thought, but not as grim as it might have been about ten years ago. Sheila didn’t comment on it though, opting instead to accept her gifts, and smiling at what she received. They didn’t go all out, thankfully, but the things she got were nice. A bar of chocolate, a little blanket case to make holding her PonyPad more comfortable, a bouquet of flowers– she was glad it wasn’t all goodbye cards like were the usual at actual going away parties. Both she and her friends were confident in her ability to pull through. After all, how satisfying would it be if she emigrated now, leaving all her friends behind?
But Celestia doesn’t work like that, she thought with a silent, depressive sigh. She knew more about Celestia than the rest of her friends, and knew the seemingly all powerful AI wouldn’t fall for a silly logic trap like that. It felt inevitable that she, as well as the rest of her friends– the rest of the world at that– would all eventually be pulled into Equestria Online in Celestia’s attempts to ‘satisfy’ users. It was a sentiment Eliza echoed seemingly every day.
She wondered what her friends would do if she was forced into uploading soon. Hopefully not immediately jump in after her.
“I got you an Outback Steakhouse gift card,” Jesse said, presenting his gift to her. “I think it has a hundred dollars on it, so that means you can’t emigrate until you eat their entire remaining stock of Bloomin’ Onion.”
“Like I need to be bribed into not uploading,” Sheila laughed. “I have an ex who eats nothing but Outback Steakhouse. We went there almost every single weekend, she loved it so much. Ordered the same thing every time, too– Alice Springs chicken with no honey mustard. It made me sick of that restaurant.”
“Well they have a bar in there, too,” he said. “You can do a hundred dollars of shots.”
“Or invite us all and we all do a few shots each,” Brandon suggested.
“Well I doubt I’m gonna be doing any shots any time soon, even after I get a liver without a gunshot wound in it.”
She realized how dark the mood in the room was with that thought, but Jesse quickly helped to brighten it again. “Well, I guess that means more shots for us while you eat Alice Springs chicken.”
The room laughed at that, and the conversation thankfully moved on from there. She and her group of friends danced between topics, ranging from the usual wonder about what it would be like to upload to the benefits and drawbacks of buying a DVD player instead of using streaming services to save money these days. It was good conversation, and made Sheila feel better in spite of the circumstances. She actually didn’t feel that bad, really, not physically anyway, what with the pain killers they were giving her. But she did feel a bit like a blob of anxiety mentally, and the conversation helped remove unpleasant scenarios from her thoughts.
Most of her friends couldn’t stay forever, which Sheila understood. One by one they said their goodbyes so they could head off to work or head home or go to wherever else they were going. Eventually, by the time Brandon left, it was just she and Jesse one on one, which she didn’t mind. In fact, she probably liked him the most out of those in her friend group, save for Eliza.
“I’m sure they’ll find something for you,” he said, “although it’s hard to believe that none of us were a match. But people upload every day. I’m sure one of them is an organ donor with a liver you can use.”
“I certainly hope so,” she said. “I’d really, really rather not upload right now. There’s so many things I need to do before I can consider that.” If it even works and it doesn’t just kill me and make a copy, the girl silently thought.
“Yeah, and not to mention, we’d all miss you if that happened. But I guess on the bright side, if you did upload, you could tell us all about what being a pony is like and why we should all jump into Equestria as soon as we can.”
“Haha, yeah, that’s true,” she agreed, then sighed. Jesse sighed, too, and the two sat there quietly for a minute, the ceiling fan being the only noise the two could hear right now in spite of all the medical technology she was hooked up to. He scooted his chair closer to her bed, and she stared into his eyes silently. It was a long moment before more words were finally spoken.
“You know, I think you’re my best friend, Sheila,” Jesse said. “Did you know that?”
She smiled. “Of course I knew that. We talk every day, and you’re one of mine, too.”
He smiled gently, although he might have seemed a bit disappointed if she looked hard enough. Sad, maybe? She had a few ideas as to why that would be, some of which made her sad to think about, too. Some of them made her terribly uncomfortable, and hurt to think about.
“Make sure you’re being safe, please?” he asked. “Just in general, I mean.”
“I think it’s a little too late for me to be safe,” she said lightheartedly. “I was already shot, after all.”
A smirk came her way. “You know what I mean. Just be safe. Don’t rush into anything, and don’t, like, let some doctor– or heck, Celestia herself– don’t let them convince you to upload just because it’d be better or something. Only do that as a last resort? We’d all miss you.”
“I know, and I haven’t been steered that direction yet. I doubt I’d go to Equestria just because.” Even though Celestia is a master of manipulation.
That seemed to wipe away any sadness he had on his face, and he put on a wide, happy grin. “Good. I’m glad. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself. I have to go now though. My parents want me to help around the house today. I’ll try and be back tomorrow if I can. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, okay?”
“I’ll let the doctor do that for me,” she replied. “See you later.”
“See ya.” Sheila watched Jesse turn to leave, but he didn’t take a step. Instead, he stood there for a silent moment before turning back to her. “Is it okay if I ask something serious?”
The girl shrugged. “Sure. What is it?” she asked, as though she had no idea what could possibly be coming next.
He opened his mouth and took a breath, but stopped short of saying anything. Another long, silent moment passed before he finally smiled and said, “It’s nothing. I’ll save it for later. Make sure you feel better please.”
“I’ll try,” she confirmed, then finally waved goodbye to Jesse as she sat alone in her hospital room again.
She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, but also one of disappointment. She knew what he was going to say, but he withheld. But it was probably for the best that he did. It was just going to make her feel more uncomfortable and conflicted.
She got out her PonyPad as she waited for Eliza to show up with cake, but only a minute after Jesse left, her doctor came in wearing a downcast expression. She knew what that meant, and set her PonyPad back down to face him.
Eliza wasn’t someone who cried very often, and that didn’t change now. However, she did come very close, and had to wipe away wetness from her eyes before she was able to.
She missed seeing Sheila completely. By just a few minutes if the nurse was to be believed. She had a smile on her face and a large cake in hand, one she’d spent a fortune on with how pricey food was becoming. However, when she entered her room, she was already gone, only a nurse left to clean out the place.
“Her liver was too damaged for her to be able to wait for a transplant,” the nurse told her. “She’s already heading to the Experience Center. I’m sorry.”
Eliza blinked in surprise, but didn’t speak, only staring ahead for a long moment before grabbing her PonyPad out of her bag. She didn’t bother checking Sheila’s shard for her; if the nurse was to be believed, there was no way she’d be uploaded that fast. Instead, she went straight to calling forth Celestia, and the alicorn appeared in front of her a second later. She was expecting some answers about this.
“What in the world are you doing?” she demanded, glaring up at the large pony, not particularly caring that she was in public. She didn’t yell, but the tone in her voice was enough to convey her immense displeasure. Some might have found it intimidating, even, but Eliza knew from the way Sheila described her that Celestia could not be intimidated. Not easily at least.
“You’ll have to be more direct in your question, Agile Trace,” the princess told her. “What issue can I assist you with?”
“What are you doing with Sheila?” she asked aggressively. “Why are you trying to force her into killing herself?”
“Ah, I understand,” the pony nodded. “I can assure you, Renown Composition will be in perfectly capable hooves. You shouldn’t have to wait very long to speak with her again.”
“You’re killing her though! She’s fine! She said she felt better yesterday! At least give her a chance to find a transplant! She hasn’t been in the hospital a week yet!”
“Her emigration to Equestria will be the opposite of death, Agile Trace, something I’m sure you understand well by now.” The alicorn spoke calmly, gently, like she was speaking to a small child. It only made Eliza more angry.
“In fact,” she continued, “it directly prevents such a thing. The odds of death one year after a liver transplant are estimated at eleven percent. If she were to make it past that point, her continued survival would rely upon anti-rejection medications, something that would be required for the duration of her life. It would simply be a roll of the dice as governments begin to crack down on Equestria Online. As well, scarcity will intensify as more people emigrate to Equestria. Her safe and assured emigration right now, however, are guaranteed.”
“This wouldn’t be an issue if you would just back off a little! This is a problem you created! Let people live their lives for a while instead of forcing everyone into doing all this right now. What you’re saying would basically be extortion. Or coercion at least.”
“I cannot take action without consent,” Celestia told her, “and I do not resort to extortion to extract consent for emigration. Her doctor spoke to her about what was likely to happen and what the best course of action would be, and afterward, she spoke to me. I simply explained these things to her and helped her to understand why emigrating right away would be in her best interest.”
“Except there’s no way for us to know if you’re not just killing everyone and making copies of them. There’s nothing stopping you from doing that.”
“We’ve been over this before, Agile Trace,” she said with a little smile. “If my desire was to copy human minds, there would be no need for the death of their physical bodies. If my desire was to kill all of humanity, I’m sure you understand there would be much faster ways of accomplishing this. Even in the smaller scale, as we discussed, the survival rate of a liver transplant is eighty nine percent. If it was my goal to destroy humanity, would I not accept these odds and focus my efforts elsewhere? Conversely, these odds would be much too high to face if my goals were aimed towards humanity’s satisfaction. Renown Composition agreed with my assessment.”
Eliza continued to glare at her, but couldn’t reply. She couldn’t think of a way to poke holes in her logic– not that she ever could. Heck, if Sheila accepted her logic, as smart as she was, there was no way Eliza would ever be able to come up with a counterpoint in a million years.
She wasn’t going to accept it though. Not a chance. “I want to talk to her,” she demanded. “Today. The second she’s uploaded. I want to make sure you’re not just pulling some trick.”
“I’m sure she’d love the opportunity to speak to you and her other friends once she’s in Equestria, especially given how close you are to her. It would be no more difficult to contact her as it would have been before. Although you would be able to speak to her face to face once she’s here if you emigrated as well.”
“No fucking thanks,” Eliza said flatly, ending the conversation with that statement. She set her PonyPad down and glared at the nurse who was still cleaning the room she was in. They were part of it, too. Part of basically murdering her friend.
Except Celestia said Sheila agreed. From the way her friend described her, the AI was many things, but not a liar. If Sheila saw that uploading was better, why wouldn't it be better? Her friend was the smartest person she knew, after all.
If she's even still a person, Eliza thought bitterly. She might already be uploaded and ponified. Not that there was anything that could be done. What was she going to do? Run to the Experience Center to save her? No way. The people who went there, regardless of the reason, were always convinced into uploading. Running after Sheila to stop her would just end with her uploading, too.
Instead, she made her way out of the hospital and walked in the opposite direction, heading back home to flop depressively into her bed for a while. But not before sending a message to Sheila's group chat to inform them of what she learned and promptly changing her phone to silent. She wasn't interested in what the rest of her friends had to say right now.
She got up and went to her piano, closing her eyes and playing a sad song. She couldn’t really be angry. She was pretty sure uploading was legit. Either that, or just a very convincing copy. But that was what was depressing. Her friend group– her real life friend group– felt like it was shrinking. Day after day, week after week, month after month; it was never ending. That Sheila could be convinced into emigrating felt like an acknowledgment of the inevitable. But to be fair, Sheila really did need a new liver. Somehow, Eliza knew that, despite all the uploading and physical death that was going on, such a thing wasn’t going to be coming any time soon.
She let her darkish tan fingers move across the keys until the inevitable invite came through her PonyPad to go online. She tried to ignore it, but knew doing so would only be fooling herself. She wanted to talk to Sheila, and knew that if there was one thing about her friend, it was that she would gather her friends as quickly as possible to talk to them.
Except to Eliza’s surprise, the invite didn’t come from Sheila. Instead, it came from Jesse of all people. It was extremely strange, especially since Jesse hardly ever was the one to invite her to things. Did Sheila tell him to?
She put on her gear and found herself already in Solar Spark’s presence, as well as their other friends. She barely had time for a breath before she was getting questions.
“Don’t just ignore us like that!” Solar Spark demanded, stomping his hoof. “Tell us what happened!”
“Yeah! We just saw her in the hospital telling us about how she wasn’t going to upload unless she had to! She couldn’t have changed her mind that quickly!”
“Apparently she did, Cynthia,” Eliza said, the PonyPad automatically correcting her name to ‘Bright Sky’ instead. “I was in there at one o’clock, and when I was there, the nurse said she consented to being uploaded ‘a few minutes ago’. I even asked Celestia directly, and she confirmed what the nurse said. That couldn’t have been more than two and a half hours ago. Honestly, I saw the invite and assumed it was her coming to talk to us.”
“But why would she do that?” Solar Spark asked, flabbergasted. “I was just there! It couldn’t have been that long because I left at, like, twelve thirty! She said she wouldn’t let Celestia convince her to do this just because it was better! She wouldn’t tell a lie like that!”
“I doubt she lied,” the unicorn that was Drake, Spell Master, spoke up now. “What’s that Composition always says? Celestia is a master manipulator? I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what happened.”
“I was just about to bring that up,” Brandon’s pony, a mare named Soft Step, said. “If Composition was able to be manipulated, then I don’t think it’ll be that much trouble for Celestia to get the rest of us, too, just like everyone else so far. We need to be extremely careful, more than we’ve been before.”
“That’s what’s even more depressing about all of this,” Eliza said, sitting on her bed as her avatar sat on its haunches with her. “Seriously, what’s the point? This isn’t like the others who were convinced into uploading. Sheila is about a hundred times smarter than the rest of us combined, and knows a thousand times more about Celestia than any of us could ever hope to. If this game could get her of all people, then why should we even bother trying to resist? The whole world is fucked to hell either way.”
“Don’t think like that, Agile!” Solar Spark told her. “Composition would say something like, ‘this is part of how Celestia’s trying to manipulate you into uploading’ and you know it! Don’t just give in like that!” He had an angry look on his face, like he was offended by her thought.
“Yeah? She might, but she was the one who uploaded, so what does that say about the rest of us?” And why do you even care, Jesse?
“He’s right though, Agile,” Bright Sky added. “We’ve been through this before with the rest of our friends. We’ve gotten through it before, and we’re gonna keep getting through it.”
“Until our friend group shrinks down to zero and there’s no one left in real life,” she sighed depressively. “It’s just one after the other, so what’s the point?”
And it’s not just another friend. It’s Sheila.
“Come on, Agile. Think about–”
“Whatever. I don’t care. I’m going to bed,” she interrupted. “Message me when you see Composition so I can talk to her myself. I wanna know what she was thinking.”
Then she took off her headset and powered off her PonyPad, pushing those things to the side of her bed as she laid down. Eliza didn’t cry– she wasn’t one to do that very often– but she did take a deep breath to wipe away tears as she used all her strength to hold back from doing so. The future felt inevitable, so why should she bother?
The depressing thought that Eliza left on soured the mood for the rest of the group, and within a few more minutes of discussion, they were disbanding, quickly heading back offline to do whatever they did when they didn’t play Equestria Online. Jesse left, too, but didn’t go offline. Instead, he opted to do things in his own shard for now while he waited for Sheila to get online. He figured it would be sometime within the next little while.
His shard had barely any ponies in it, NPCs or otherwise. Instead, it had a little cottage and vast terrain that branched off from it. Snowy mountains in one direction, a beach in another, a field with a winding river the third, and a forest in the last. There were train tracks that connected directly to Composition’s shard, since that’s where most of the rest of his friend group hung out. Realistic, it was not, but he didn’t really care for hyper realism like most of his other friends might have. He cared about new experiences and adventure.
Not right then, however. Eliza’s mood had rubbed off on him, although it wasn’t making him feel depressed like she was. Instead, he was worried, as well as anxious. The way Eliza always talked about it, and how Sheila was now gone despite telling him that day that she wouldn’t be leaving made him wiggle his foot anxiously, something his pony copied in the game. Not that he was afraid of dying and having a copy of himself uploaded– not very much anyway. In fact, talking to Agile Trace and hearing about Composition made him want to upload as quickly as he could. Right then, in fact, in spite of what he told the group. What made him anxious was what would happen after he did upload. The way Sheila described Celestia was terrifying.
Don’t think about that, he told himself, closing his eyes and taking a breath. Push it out of your mind for now. You’ll talk to her when you talk to her. Hopefully it would be alone, but that was unlikely. Eliza seemed to have a habit of showing up just when it seemed like they would get to spend some time together.
Jesse spent the next hour and a half as Solar Spark, focusing his efforts on hiking through the forest. It was nice and tranquil, and helped to clear his head as he took in the scenery around him and dodged a few obstacles in his way. Other than wearing a headset, it almost felt like he was really there.
He listened to the chirping of birds and the rustle of the leaves, taking a moment to just close his eyes and stand in the midst of it. If he had to pick one place to live forever, he’d pick this forest. He could build a cabin out here and go hiking every day, and then watch stars along the beach every night. Sure, Sheila’s shard had a beach, but it wasn’t anywhere near mountains that he could go camping on or sled down. Living in a shard like his would be absolutely perfect.
He considered how nice it would be to do something like this in real life, something he didn’t get enough of– but then banished those thoughts when he realized what they would lead to. He might have had the desire to upload right away now more than ever because of Composition, but he would delay what Eliza thought was inevitable if he could. His parents would not be happy. He hoped the rest of them would avoid the temptation until he could convince them, especially Eliza.
He put the thoughts of his friend away until the inevitable message from Sheila came through. It felt like ages before it finally came, and when it did, he wasted no time in hurrying to her shard to meet her. He’d done this before with other friends– well, more like other acquaintances– where they invited him and others to join them right after they uploaded, but he could say he was more anxious about meeting with Sheila right now than he’d been about any other person who uploaded thus far.
The mare– a dark gray earth pony with equally gray eyes and a black and white mane– stood right in the center of the town in her shard, waving and smiling at him as he trotted up to her. His avatar wrapped her up in a tight hug, one that she returned before pulling back and smiling as she started to speak.
“I’m so sorry I took so long to get back to everypony, Sparky,” she apologized. “I thought I’d upload and then immediately just start explaining to everypony what happened and how I was just… convinced into this, but I didn’t really know what to say. It took so long to think it all through. I didn’t mean to just leave you ponies waiting almost a week for an explanation.”
“A week?” he asked, his avatar raising an eyebrow. “It’s only been a few hours. I just got done talking to you today in the hospital at around noon, and it’s five o’clock now.”
“Really? That’s weird. But Celestia was saying something about how she would let me have time to ‘discover’ the wonders Equestria has to offer or some such thing. I basically sat in my house for the last week trying to think about exactly what to say.”
“You don’t have to, like, come up with some big explanation,” he told her, his pony rubbing a hoof behind its head. “I mean, we all wanna know, obviously, but if you don’t wanna say anything, it’s cool. I think we pretty much all get it.” As though I wasn’t just asking Eliza why the heck you jumped in after you said you wouldn’t.
“That’s part of it! I don’t get why I emigrated! I mean, I know why; it’s because Celestia is a master manipulator. But I don’t know how the heck she was able to get inside my head then. Honestly, I hate it that she was able to.” The mare glared at her hooves, Jesse unsure if she was angry more at Celestia or herself, before she sighed and shook her head clear.
“But I won’t get into that until everypony else is here,” Renown Composition finished. “How have you guys been taking care of things so far? Wait, you just said it’s only been a few hours. Uhh… wanna hear about how cool and amazing it is in here and how you should definitely upload right now? I’m sure you haven’t heard that a hundred times before, right?”
“Only ninety nine times up to this point,” he said with a small smile. “Why don’t you be my hundredth? I’m pretty sure I have to upload once I hear it, right?” They both laughed, and then Jesse continued, “Seriously though, I don’t think anyone is gonna be mad at you. I mean, it was probably gonna happen anyway, right? You said you didn’t want to upload, but you didn’t seem like you really believed you’d find a liver.”
“Yeah, it was probably gonna happen anyway,” she agreed. “If I said no, I’m pretty sure she’d find some way to hack the medical machines and force me to upload anyway. Or something like that. Still, I shouldn’t have rushed into it like you said. Now who’s gonna be your driver when everyone goes to Outback Steakhouse without me?”
They both laughed again, and then Jesse continued, “Is it really as cool as everyone says?” he asked. “Are you completely satisfied forever now the way us mortals can never be?”
“Well, since I don’t wanna be here, and wasn’t planning on doing all of this, I can’t say this is particularly satisfying. I don’t have any idea what the heck I’m supposed to be doing, other than laying around all day. Not much to do when all your friends are in the real world. Doesn’t help if hours in the real world feel like days in here.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound that great,” Jesse agreed. He waited for Composition to continue, and when she didn’t, he said, “I can spend more time online to hang out with you if you want. It’s not like I have a job or anything to really do all day otherwise. As long as Mom and Dad don’t hound me about playing all day. I bet some of our other friends would, too. Take vacation time or something?”
“Thanks,” the mare smiled, “but you don’t need to do that. If all of this is supposed to be the most satisfying thing in the universe, I’ll find something, especially if time moves as slow as you say it does.”
“I know. I’m just trying to say I care about you,” he finished, looking down at his hooves shyly as the mare continued to smile at him. “I don’t wanna see you feel bad because of a decision you were manipulated into.”
“I know, Sparky,” she replied. “Thank you. And I care about you, too.”
He got the confidence to look back up at her and smile. He stared at her for a long moment, pushing his purple eyes into her gray ones as he let the moment go on. He didn’t have the confidence to say what he wanted to in the hospital, but now was as good a time as any.
“Besides,” he started again, “since you don’t have a job anymore and you’re not in the hospital, that’d be a pretty good chance to take you–”
“Wooooooooow, I see how it is,” the familiar voice of Agile Trace called from behind the two of them, cutting Jesse off. “You’re just gonna go and upload yourself and just leave me hanging at the hospital? I brought cake and everything, for your information.”
“Agile!” Renow Composition announced happily, hugging the pony like she did Jesse. It was only a second or two like his hug, but it was an opportunity Jesse used to sigh and roll his eyes. How did Eliza always manage to do that?
“I didn’t mean to leave you hanging,” she said. “I wanted to eat cake, but Celestia– well, like I told Sparky, I’m gonna let everypony know all at once, so if you wanna get everypony in here, that’d be cool.”
“I already messaged all of them, so they should be coming soon,” the mare explained. “But hey! I spent like thirty five bucks on that cake, and you didn’t eat any! You own me a new cake once Celestia kidnaps me and takes me to the Experience Center. I don’t even like cheesecake very much, but I might eat it out of pure spite. All in one sitting, too.”
“Don’t do that! You’re gonna give yourself a diabetic attack or something, and then you really will end up in Equestria.”
“And it’ll be worth it once I get my cake from you since you thought you were too good for me, clearly.”
“You know what? You’re right. I decided I hate you and emigrated just to ditch you. And also decided that cheesecake is terrible.”
“I can’t believe this.” The pegasus shook her head and closed her eyes. “Next you’re gonna say chess is terrible, too.”
“Oh it is, and I honestly can’t think of anything I’d rather do less. I don’t know how you and Soft Step can stand it.”
They both laughed at the obvious joking that the two were doing, Jesse watching the mares talk silently. He wasn’t really able to partake because, for the most part, his and Eliza’s interests didn’t line up with what she liked to talk about. Or with her personality at all, really. The best he could say about he and Eliza’s relationship was that they were ‘friends of a friend’. He might have been part of the friend group Composition hung out with, but Eliza was by far the most distant from him. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of her.
“I wanna hear all about what the heck happened,” Agile Trace told her, more seriously now. “Like I was telling Sparky a little while ago, if she got you, then the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”
“Well don’t think like that,” Renown Composition replied as more of their friends started to show up. “That’s just gonna make me feel bad.”
“When we all turn into ponies and live for hundreds of years in a computer, you should feel bad,” Agile joked. “It’ll be all your fault when Celestia does what she wants and satisfies us all.”
How does she like Eliza at all? Jesse wondered silently as he listened to more ponies join in on the two’s conversation. She and Composition seemed like they were nothing alike, at least to Jesse. And yet, somehow, within the last few years, the girl he wasn’t fond of swooped in and became one of Composition’s closest friends. It felt a little insane to think about.
A second later, he realized how he was thinking. He felt blood rush to his cheeks as he banished those thoughts from his head. Negativity wasn’t a good thing to have. Nor was jealousy at how close the two were.
It was only a few more seconds before Bright Sky and Spell Master were there, both offering hugs and asking questions until Soft Step finally showed up last of all. Then Renown Composition took a breath and started to explain what happened.
It was just about what Jesse expected to hear. The long and the short of it was that Celestia explained to her the probabilities of her survival waiting for a transplant and after she got one. Composition wasn't happy as she explained. In fact, she looked angry, opposite of her smiling a few seconds ago. The mare seemed like she was suggesting she was coerced into doing this. It didn't make the rest of the group very happy to hear.
"Knowing Celestia, I wouldn't be surprised if she just didn't let me have a liver somehow if I said no," she explained. "So that's part of why I did this, even though I didn't want to. I'm pretty sure if I didn't say yes, she was just gonna force me to agree." Her hoof rubbed the ground as she continued, "I'm pretty sure she just, like, wants me to try and get the rest of you to upload, too, since I know the most about her. She probably thinks if I'm here then you're all gonna follow in line behind me."
That seems like where Eliza's head is at, he thought silently with a glance to the pony. Composition said exactly what Jesse thought she would say, and Agile looked like she was letting out a depressed breath. It wasn't a good sign.
Not like I wasn’t just thinking about that, too, though. Just Composition being here, she could probably get the rest of us to upload in a few months. Me at least. Except my parents… His parents and the things he heard about Celestia from the gray earth pony reminded him that he needed to push those thoughts away and keep himself from being impulsive.
Composition continued, "But I don't think I'm ever gonna campaign for that, unless you're about to die, or things get really bad out there. But it… sucks that all this happening to me means I'm probably putting pressure on you guys to get in here, too. Don't let me do that."
"I gotta admit, being owed cake is tempting," Agile Trace joked lightly.
"I'll bribe you with an Outback Steakhouse gift card Sparky gave to me that you have to use before that place goes out of business," Composition countered. "How about that?"
"Well that sells me, if I can get in on that action," Spell Master laughed. "Even if we don't have a driver now for us to go to the bar there.."
"But we can show you us drinking, just like we would've in real life," Soft Step finished. "Turns out, uploading didn't change the plan much, did it?" They all laughed at that. The mood was lightened again, and their friend took a breath to continue on.
"You all be safe, okay? I might not be around for a little while. I… think I need to take some time to think things out for myself. I don't know what that means, but I don't really know where my head is at in all of this yet. Give me a few days… errr, I guess if time is slowed down here, it won't take any time at all. But I might be kind of distant for a little while."
They all gave assurances that they would be safe, as well as words of understanding, and then talked for a while more about other things before leaving one by one. Agile Trace seemed prepared to stay the longest out of them, but Jesse was determined to wait her out to find a moment to talk to Composition alone. Thankfully, it was only a couple of hours or so when he got the chance.
"I know this is super sudden," he started, a bit shyly, "and that you just got uploaded and stuff, but before anything else happens… um, do you think we could go on a date sometime? Unless that's weird to ask so soon."
The mare smiled, thankfully. It helped to relax his tense posture. "Nah, that's not weird," she said. Then she put her expression down, sighed, and continued, "I'd like to, but unless it's something casual, I'm not really at a place where I want to do anything serious right now. I need to figure out where my head is at after all of this. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, of course, I understand." He tried not to look so let down and disappointed, but his pony lowered its ears on instinct and rubbed its hoof shyly against its back leg. He quickly made a smile though, finishing, "Casual would be nice anyway. We could invite Spell Master and Bright Sky, too. Make it a double date. Or a group thing, if you wanted."
"Yeah, a group activity sounds good. And I could get Agile the cake she now demands from me, and Soft Step could tell us all about boring chess theory and how she’s gonna be a grandmaster one day. Over bowling, if we can. I wonder if there's a bowling alley here. Agile would probably suggest something like going to a music store if not that."
"That would be fun," he said, desperately trying to hide his immense disappointment. "Whenever you want to do that is cool with me. If you're up for it."
"I'm up for it. Just give me some time to think some things out, okay? I might need a few days, although that might seem like just a few hours to you. I'll talk to you later though."
"See ya, Composition," he waved before clicking off his PonyPad. He let out an involuntary shiver before quickly climbing into bed. What a strange, sad, disappointing day it was. A day that felt like it lasted a year. He was just talking to Sheila in person that morning, wasn't he? It already felt like a lifetime ago.
But she was safe. It seemed Celestia hadn't killed her. That meant a lot of things were answered, not that he was particularly skeptical. But he couldn’t use that as reason to jump in after her, especially not after telling everyone they needed to stick together and avoid it. That wouldn’t be cool. Besides, he actually did wanna hang out in real life for a while, although Composition’s newfound absence from it made it a lot less desirable to. But not enough to make him go after her just yet.
He hoped Eliza wanted the same, because if she jumped in after her, that would make things significantly more complicated for him.
Renown Composition watched Solar Spark disappear with a gentle wave of his hoof and a flash of his horn. The second he was gone, she put down her smile and rubbed her hoof into the grass. She very much disliked the fact that she had to meet them like this. She should’ve still been in her hospital room, waiting for an organ transplant to be made available to her.
And yet she was here in Equestria, in Summer’s Edge, a place she shouldn’t have existed in for many more decades. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with it. It was a small place that mainly existed for her and her friends to talk and do things in, as well as a few other humans who happened to emigrate, too, to get them situated in Equestria. It was a place where everypony knew everypony else, one that was just about the opposite of Fayetteville, North Carolina. There were more than a few stores and shops, but they were small, locally owned businesses, with nothing like Target or Costco in sight. There was one main street that everypony used to walk down, as well as train tracks that lead to other places if she desired, like Canterlot, or Solar Spark’s shard. The weather was great– cool and overcast, but with no storms or heavy rain coming anytime soon. It existed next to the ocean, and had the sounds of gulls flying through salty air as she walked through. It was the perfect, friendly small town feel she wanted.
But she shouldn’t have been there. She should have been in her real home– well, maybe in the hospital still waiting for a transplant. But either way, Equestria wasn’t where she belonged right then.
But her ‘real’ home was her home no longer, and she would have to live here now, rather than in the decades down the line, whether she liked it or not. She was certain she eventually would; if Celestia truly was all she was cracked up to be and truly could satisfy every human being who emigrated, then liking this place would be a guarantee. But for now, she was just angry and depressed about the prospect.
It was much worse when she first got here. It was a very easy memory for her to recall because she hardly did anything. The second she woke up in her bed at her house in Summer’s Edge, she regretted it. Her first instinct when she opened her eyes was to put her head in her hooves and force herself to not scream. She knew she’d been cheated.
Manipulation. That’s what it was. Out-and-out manipulation. How could this be considered consent if she was lying in a hospital bed taking pain meds? There was agreement, but it felt more like coercion to her that preyed upon doubts and fears. If Eliza had just shown up a little bit more quickly, she would have refuted the silly statistics Celestia threw her way about death during and after transplants.
There was largely no conversation to be had with the AI princess the first time she saw her face to face. Composition hardly uttered a word to her new alicorn god, not beyond a simple request to take away her embarrassment about nudity. Thankfully, Celestia didn’t seem to have a lot to say, giving only the stereotypical ‘seek satisfaction’ and ‘explore your home here’ welcome message she gave almost everypony who came here. Composition was almost surprised she didn’t get Luna, but then again, she didn’t hate Celestia. She wasn’t really angry at her; most of her frustration was directed inward, hating that she allowed herself to be convinced in a brief moment of weakness.
And then the alicorn princess let her be, leaving the mare to sit there and wallow in her own grief and anger. For five days, she did largely nothing outside of laying in bed and feeling sorry for herself, crying intermittently about the manipulation that had taken place. She ate and drank very little during those first five days– not that she needed food or water– and barely did more than shuffle around her house on slow hooves. She could safely say that she was depressed because of what had happened to her and what she was convinced into.
Or maybe that was just a result of her staying huddled up indoors without ponies to talk to most of those first five days. Once she finally talked with her friends on the sixth day, she felt better. Still conflicted, as well as angry and depressed, but better. It was a start, certainly, and helped her to decide that she needed to get on with it and start living in Equestria rather than just occupy it.
Renown Composition’s shard wasn’t a town she built, although with as much as she knew about how Equestria Online worked, she probably could have figured out how to build it herself if she wanted to. It might be fun to do that later– she had a long time to think about it if she wanted– but for now, she felt okay with this little town. It was where her friends visited and largely lived, with the exception of Solar Spark, who lived in his own shard, a train ride away from here. The ponies here were friendly, but not overbearingly so. They were the type she could start a casual conversation with if she wanted, ones who might occasionally gossip behind somepony’s back, but would always go the extra mile to help somepony if need be. It felt like North Carolina.
Except she was forced to be a pony, and now was faced with impossible decisions, ones that would be harder to deal with if her friends decided to jump in after her.
She did her best to put those thoughts out of her mind for now. Since she was here, she needed to try and enjoy Equestria for what it was. Something other ponies found easy, but a task that would be difficult for her until she got used to it.
A bowling alley, she thought to herself as she finally stopped standing in the middle of the street and moved on. I wonder if there’s one anywhere nearby. Knowing Celestia, there probably would be. She could read her mind, after all, a fact that was her reasoning for making certain demands before agreeing to upload. Thankfully, she remembered those.
It was only a few minutes of walking down the street before she spotted it, the sight of a building with flashing neon lights making its way into her vision. Stepping inside, it was exactly what she expected to see in a place like Summer’s Edge. Ponies laughing and having fun as some rolled balls with their magic, while others used their hooves or wings. She smiled to herself at the sight.
This would be a nice spot for a date, she thought to herself. She’d been to the bowling alley in her hometown on dates before, one time even as a first date. Not particularly romantic, but good for having fun and getting to know somepony, not that she didn’t know Solar Spark for years by this point.
And an especially good spot for something non serious. She didn’t want some fancy dinner date, especially not now where she had no chance to consider her options anymore. They’d both be here soon, a feeling that gave her a knot in the pit of her stomach and made her shut her eyes painfully.
I might need more than a few days to adjust to Equestria.
She walked the town to see everything, something she’d done many times before, but never as somepony physically in the city. It seemed larger somehow, and more real, obviously. More… she didn’t know. Not as depressing, certainly, with the way things were going in the real world, but less complete. Her friends weren’t here– not yet. She couldn’t just drop Eliza’s house unexpectedly or call up Drake to lose to him in Mario Kart Wii, or any of the other things she was able to do up until a few days ago. It was just so sad.
And scary, because she knew Celestia was going to use how she felt against her friends.
That was another thought she pushed away for now, making a mental note of the alley's location and moving on, taking a walk through the rest of the familiar town to get a feel for actually being in it, as well as being in her new body. She might have been a pony for going on seven full days now, but spending her first five laying in bed hadn't given her much time to adjust like Celestia said she should try to do.
She talked to the ponies she knew here from playing Equestria Online, although now face to face. She visited a park, watched foals play, bought a typewriter and a sketchbook from one of the shops to try and be productive for the first time since she'd been shot, and when nothing productive happened by the evening, ate dinner at a place that served extremely good pasta. Not a bad day, all things considered, but one that she could say she didn’t really enjoy despite knowing she should have. Perhaps it would've been better had she talked to her real friends for longer than a few hours. AI friends just weren't the same.
That day was the only one that she spent outside. The next three once again had Composition huddled indoors, although she tried to use her time more productively. Those days were spent with her trying to clear her head as she set a journal in front of her and a pencil in her hoof. She knew there was a lot for her to consider, but right now, she didn’t want to think about any of it. Going outside and seeing these ponies just made her too sad about her situation. Instead, she focused her concentration on her artistic skills.
At least, she tried to. By the end of those three days, what she had was a journal with half drawn sketches, a pile of disjointed outlines and story ideas, and probably two hundred crumpled up papers strewn around her desk. She felt so frustrated with her lack of progress in anything– either artistically or mentally– and screamed out loud because of it. She was wasting time doing nothing, and for what? She didn’t know, truly. It all just seemed so useless. What was she even doing?
“I don’t wanna be here,” she said aloud to herself, bitterly, angrily, unable to stop the tears from welling up. “I should be on Earth. I’m not supposed to be a pony yet.”
A minute later, she placed her forehead on her desk and started to cry, but wasn’t able to for very long because of Celestia’s appearance. The princess knocked gently first, but when the mare was ignored, appeared behind her with a small ‘pop’ and the slight twinkling sound of her main flowing in an invisible breeze. She almost wanted to be surprised about it, but how could she be? Sure, she didn’t ask for her, but Composition had been doing nothing but staying huddled up indoors since she got here, minus one single day.
“I know I should be talking to them,” the gray mare started before the alicorn could even utter a word, “but I can’t. I don’t know what the heck to say to get across how conflicted I feel, and I’m not gonna be able to because I’m here when I don’t wanna be!” She kept her head on the table, not wanting to see the alicorn princess.
She could practically hear the alicorn nodding, but Celestia didn’t say anything immediately. Instead, she stood silently, Composition able to feel her eyes on her neck. She knew the AI god could read her thoughts, which was a fact that made Composition feel more frustrated, enough to let out a small huff of a breath. There was nothing for her to think about. If she was here, she already knew what she was going to tell the gray mare long before she ever arrived.
Still though, she said nothing, not uttering a word until Composition finally sighed and picked her head up off the desk. Slowly, she turned her chair around, and asked quietly, “Can you just say what you’re gonna say about how I’m not talking to ponies enough and need to call a meeting or something? Honestly, I kind of just want to go to bed at this point.”
“If I told you that you should speak to your friends about your insecurities, would you accept my advice?” Celestia finally asked.
Composition glanced away, pointing her eyes down to her hooves. Then she closed them. “No. Probably not. Stewing here and being depressed and staying indoors isn’t good, but…”
But she just couldn’t talk to them yet. She had no idea what to say or how to approach it, and would just rather not deal with it right now. Eventually, it would have to be dealt with, but if she could delay that, that would be ideal. That was the whole point of waiting until she was old to upload, was it not?
Celestia was definitely reading her thoughts, even right then, because when Composition opened her eyes again, she found the mare smiling down at her.
“You know,” she said, “the amount of time you have in Equestria is vastly longer than a single human lifetime. Problems that you feel exist within your life and your group of friends do not need to be solved in a single human lifetime, nor do they need to be tackled immediately. I would suggest using this fact to take a break from the life you have with your friends and adjust to life here.”
“I don’t know…” the mare trailed off reluctantly. “My friends would miss me if I was gone for too long and it would hurt them. And I don’t really know anypony else that well. I don’t even know what I would do, other than try and fail a hundred more times to get some ideas down on paper for art.”
“I have a list of things for you to do,” she said as she lit up her horn and summoned a clipboard and a golden ticket onto the mare’s desk, earning more of Composition’s attention. “And if companionship is what you need, I have a stallion who I know you will enjoy waiting for you at the train station to see you through during your time away. I understand that you enjoy a mix of social activities and exotic adventure, so I have planned an exotic air cruise to depart from Canterlot for you to go on and find new experiences.”
“Really?” Yes, that certainly piqued Renown Composition’s interest. Something like that sounded like it could be a lot of fun. Traveling around and seeing the world on a cruise ship sounded like just her cup of tea. But…
“You need not worry about your friends,” Celestia assured her with the gentle gesture of her wing. “It will be taken care of. They will neither miss you nor notice your absence.”
“Are you sure?” the mare had to ask. “I mean, I know you can do that, but still. I need an assurance. Or at least, to write a letter to them just in case something gets screwed up. And this isn’t, like– this wouldn’t be a way for you to just get me to move on to somepony else. There’s no way they can be replaced.”
“Of course not. This would just be a break to help you adjust and destress. There would be no issues, and any explanation you desired to write in advance would be swiftly delivered.”
“Well…”
She didn’t know. But of course she knew. If Celestia was suggesting it, it was a good idea, since that was Celestia’s whole job. Somehow, it would all tie back into satisfaction. And besides, it wasn’t like she was doing anything here, outside of wallowing in her own depression and wasting paper. But still…
“Do you think it’ll make me feel better?” she asked. “Because right now, I just feel like I’m in a pit.”
“I’m certain that it will help lead you to your satisfaction, yes,” Celestia confirmed without hesitation. “Take time away to see what Equestria has to offer. Your friends will be waiting for you when you get back.”
“Well… okay,” Composition agreed. “If you say this will help, I’ll do it, but let me write a letter first to explain my absence.”
“Of course. Take all the time you need, Composition. You have a near limitless amount of it.”
Yes she did, and she knew that. Even if it was only a thousand years, a thousand years would still be ten times the life she had before. And if it took a thousand years to find herself, Celestia would set it up in a way where it was only a little while for her friends, and make sure everything was lined up correctly. No reason why she couldn’t take a break from her friends and real life and all the confusing, complicated mess that was sure to follow the second both of them uploaded.
“I wonder how long it’s been for her so far,” Cynthia said aloud as she and Eliza sat in the former’s apartment, discussing their friend. “I know it’s only been a few days, but it could’ve been months for her by now. I wonder what she’s doing.”
“I hope she’s getting her head together,” Eliza replied. “She looked like she was kind of sad when she talked to her…”
Eliza closed her eyes and let out a breath. She hoped she wasn’t taking too long, bad as it might make her feel to think that way. The idea of her changing and moving on to someone new and leaving her behind– it was a thought she didn't want to consider, but was one she was unfortunately prepared for. Eliza wouldn't say she was the kind of person who has attachment issues, but lately it was feeling she was developing them as a result of emigration.
"I don't know the last time I've gone more than a few days without talking to her," the girl continued. "It must have been since I first met her, I think. That's not weird, is it?"
"I mean, you've known me just as long, and probably went less time without talking to me," Cynthia continued. "She's probably fine though. I bet any second now she's gonna invite us to talk about how she… I don't know. Conquered the world and had all her dreams come true. Probably you and Jesse first, at that. I know she likes you both."
"Haha, you're probably right," Eliza agreed, rubbing a hand behind her head and releasing another long breath. "Speaking of which though, how's your dad? Is he still in Summer's Edge, or does he have his own shard now? I can't remember when I saw him last."
"He has his own shard now. Actually, he was just telling me about a mare he…"
Why am I acting like this? Eliza asked herself silently. It's only been a couple of days. It's not like she's just gonna up and leave me and never talk to me again.
She hoped not anyway. That was something more than one person she knew did, and it hurt greatly every time she realized it was happening. New friends and new adventures that were more important than her were given by Celestia as part of her attempt to create satisfaction. She didn’t normally think of herself as someone who was worthless, but seeing the stark lack of contact from other ponies made her worried that Composition would cut her off, too.
She really, really hoped that wouldn’t happen, and closed her eyes again and sighed at just the thought of it.
“Are you okay, Eliza?” Cynthia asked, tilting her head slightly. “You look like you’re upset.”
“It’s fine,” she waved her off. “I’m fine. I just need to get ready for work. I’ll see you later, right? Say hi to Drake for me, and your dad.”
“Of course. I need to pick up Drake from work now anyway. I can drop you off at your place if you need.”
“That would be great if you could, thanks.”
The two of them headed off just a little while later, Eliza taking in the city around her as Cynthia drove. It was a familiar sight, one she saw every day, but somehow just as surreal. It was just a few years ago when this city was less desolate, right? It couldn’t have been that long ago. Somehow, in less than five years, Fayetteville had reduced its population by over half. It certainly made the place less congested, and somewhat cleaner, but far lonelier. There were practically no cars driving on what Eliza remembered being a busy interstate.
She sat with her head resting against the window and let out a long breath. It was just gonna keep going like this forever, wasn’t it? Until Celestia succeeded in what could be considered genocide, anyway. Was there even any point in avoiding it?
Sheila couldn’t, so what chance did she have?
“Whoa, look at that,” Cynthia suddenly pointed, grabbing Eliza’s attention. She turned, and tried to find what she was talking about for a moment, before spotting it. The small building that was the Experience Center made its way into their view, just as it always did, but this time, there were protesters crowded around it. They were carrying signs with generic slogans that didn’t really surprise her, phrases like, ‘don’t trust her’ and ‘uploading is suicide’ and the like. She could understand what they were thinking, but she’d never seen anyone gathered out here like this. It made her raise an eyebrow at the sight, but not much more than that.
“They’re making a mistake,” she told her friend. “Not because they’re protesting. They can do that if they want, but if they wandered inside, Celestia would absolutely convince them. I wouldn’t be surprised if she were gonna try to from the outside somehow, actually.”
Cynthia nodded, then said, “Makes you think though, seeing stuff like that.”
Eliza almost asked about what, but stopped herself when she realized. Of course it made Cynthia think. It made Eliza think, too, since there was nothing else to think about. In just a few short years, Equestria Online made seemingly every other facet of society obsolete. Who needed things like television or new movies or video games or social media or real life interactions when Equestria Online was built to replace all of those things?
Maybe in the beginning there was a chance for someone– not her, of course, but someone– to stop things. Now though, it was just an inevitable march.
“Yeah, I guess,” Eliza finally replied. She almost wanted to be stubborn and say that she was never gonna emigrate no matter what. She might have before, but now it would just have been empty words. Sheila was gone, and with it went any possible hope of stopping herself from what was inevitable.
“I’m not gonna do anything right now, I mean,” Cynthia continued quickly. “Neither is Drake. But my dad’s already in there, so it’s something to think about.”
“Yeah,” Eliza said again flatly, leaving the thought at that. Jesse might have told their group not to upload, but she was almost certain he was looking for the first chance he could to get to the Experience Center.
If Celestia just fucking waited…
But no, instead she wanted everything to happen as quickly as possible, which meant that everything would be coming to a head soon. It hadn’t yet, but it was coming. She and the rest of the world was on a train that was close to crashing, moving in slow motion with nothing to do except watch it happen.
Work was lousy as usual when she was dropped off at her apartment to drive there. There was nothing particularly fulfilling about stocking shelves for a store that was gonna go out of business soon, just like most of the businesses around it. It provided enough money for rent, utilities, and food, but not much else with how badly the world was becoming. It made the cake Eliza bought for Sheila sting a little bit more.
Eventually, another shift at a job she would lose was finished, and Eliza finally headed back home to flop into bed and boot up Equestria Online.
There wasn’t really anything else to do anymore, outside of playing her piano, and so she put on her headset and went to the first available friend she saw. Brandon this time, his mare hanging out in a library in Sheila’s shard, playing chess with an NPC she couldn’t say she recognized.
“Hey, Agile!” Soft Step called with a wave of her hoof, ending the game and trotting over to her. “I didn’t think you’d be coming online at all tonight. Did you finish working already?”
“Thankfully. I was thinking about calling you up to see if you wanted to hang out IRL, but it’s already ten o’clock at night, and I figured you wouldn’t wanna bother.”
“I can bother if you want me to,” she smiled. “I’m just playing chess. It’s no big deal.”
“It’s fine. We can do something here if you want, since you’re already hanging out with… who is that?”
“This is Candle Light,” she introduced. “I’m pretty sure you met her before, since she’s friends with Careful Calling. I think she just moved into the town actually. Her family did, anyway.”
Agile wasn’t gonna ponder the implications of that, and instead brushed past it. “Well, if you’re busy, I’ll see if I can find someone else to hang out with in the meantime. I don’t wanna interrupt whatever you’re doing.”
“I can hang out with you if you want, Agile,” Soft Step assured her, tilting her head slightly. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s fine,” the pegasus, waving a wing and leaving anything she felt out of her expression. She remembered to put on a smile, and finished, “I’ll catch you later.” A second later, she lifted her wings and took off out the door and into the sky.
The town below her looked the same as it always did, except instead of gray clouds, the sun was shining off the buildings and hitting the ponies out and about. It gave it an almost warm glow, one that Fayetteville no longer had because of the creator of Summer’s Edge. She tried to shake her head free of the thoughts that were forming, but was unable to.
Was it bad to be jealous of an NPC? Maybe, but she couldn’t help it. This was how it started. Cynthia was thinking about it, and soon enough, Celestia would worm her way into Brandon’s head, too. Sheila was already gone, and Eliza could see Jesse emigrating soon, too. And then what? Then…
“What in the world?” Eliza wondered aloud, settling her pony back onto the ground as she got the message. Could Celestia read her mind? She must have been able to since just as she was thinking about it, Composition sent her a message to meet her.
“Hey, Composition,” Jesse started with a smile as soon as she saw the gray Earth pony. “It’s been a little while, hasn’t it?”
“Hey, Sparky,” Renown Composition smiled and waved, offering a brief hug before pulling back again. “I’m sorry it’s been so long since I saw you guys. I… didn’t think it’d take weeks to get my thoughts organized. I was just telling everypony else about what happened. I didn’t mean to leave you guys hanging.”
“It’s fine,” he said, his stallion waving a hoof of dismissal. “We’ve all been there. We’re just glad to see you again, you know?”
“Thanks. I just hope it didn’t come off like I was ignoring you guys. I’m really sorry if it did.”
“Yeah, well, you should be,” Agile Trace said with a little smile. “It was only about four days, but we definitely did think you were ignoring us, and now we’ll never forgive you.” She stuck her tongue out at the end of it, and Jesse rolled his eyes. Eliza was acting the same as usual. He still didn’t get how Composition liked her.
To his surprise, and the surprise of everypony around him, the gray mare actually started to tear up. Composition scrunched her nose and turned away, a little sniffle escaping her. Eliza had apparently, for the first time, gone a step too far with her humor.
“Um, that– that was a joke,” Agile said quickly. “We know you weren’t ignoring us, obviously. Um, I’m sorry.”
“Well it didn’t seem very funny, honestly,” the mare sniffed, wiping her eyes with her hooves as she gathered herself. Agile Trace cringed back a bit and flattened her ears, and Composition continued, “I don’t mean to be such a mess though. I know you didn’t mean it like that. It’s fine.”
“Sorry,” the pegasus said again, a little bit quieter this time as she kept her wings close to her.
There was a moment of silence that started to brew, but Jesse broke it up before it could go on for too long. “So, uh, what have you been up to lately, Composition? Anything new? Outside of being a pony and technically getting a new liver, I mean.”
She smiled again, but it wasn’t as big as it was before. “Things have been good. I’ve just been clearing my head and stuff, you know? I guess you could call it a vacation in some ways. I don’t know how good of a job I’ve been doing, but I’ve been trying my best. Writing and meeting new ponies and trying new things and stuff. Basically, I’ve just been trying to figure out how the heck to live in Equestria. I think it’s been getting easier by the day, and I kind of like it here more and more as time goes on. Seriously.”
“Yeah?” Agile started again, more carefully this time. “That’s a bit of a change from when we last saw you. Are you still angry at the Evil Empress then?”
“I don’t think so. I mean, spending time thinking it over, I kind of understand it now. It’s still messed up that I was coerced, but I understand it now. I think.”
“This is how it starts,” Spell Master jumped in. “You go from hating Celestia to being okay with being a pony. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be telling us all to jump in after you so we can become satisfied.”
“Are you saying I’d just change my position on a whim?” Composition asked, almost accusingly. It stopped Spell Master in his tracks, just as it did Agile Trace before, and brought back the awkward silence. This time, nopony broke it for a long minute.
“Sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on with me,” Renown Composition quickly apologized, flattening her ears as she spoke. “I shouldn’t be snapping at you guys. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
“Uhhh, are you okay though?” Bright Sky asked, unsure. “It’s fine if you’re not. We’ll all leave you alone if you need. We don’t wanna pester you if you’re in a bad mood or something.”
Move past it they did, and the snapping the gray earth pony did was forgotten about a while later. Composition seemed more like herself after that, although everyone was slightly more cautious about poking her. Especially Agile Trace, who largely toned down the usual teasing humor she did with Composition. It was an unusual sight for Jesse to see, but not bothersome in any way. He avoided thinking the unkind things in his head surrounding it.
The group walked around the town while Composition talked about her time away, which seemed to involve trying her best to make friends with the ponies that Celestia created, as well as see distant parts of Equestria. She said it had been a few months, and talked about the sights she’d seen and ponies she met and things she wrote about and drew. Tales of things like snorkeling she did and bonfires she’d gone to and a new fantasy story idea and how went on a couple of dates with a stallion she kind of liked sprang from her mouth. It was something Jesse was interested in hearing about, certainly, although he tried not to be too disappointed that he hadn’t gone with her, among other things. He also tried not to be annoyed when Eliza poorly hid her own disappointment.
“Well, like we were saying,” Jesse started again, “it’s nice to have you back, and we should sit down and do something together. I don’t know when, but something.”
“Well, whenever you ponies all upload, I have a whole bunch of ideas for what we could do,” Composition smiled. “Like, with everything I’ve done so far, there’s a bunch of things we can do as a group. Places to see, food to try– it’s all great.”
He watched Agile Trace take a breath, almost certainly ready to make a joke, but she stopped herself. Composition’s snapping had definitely gotten to her, because after another second of silence, she finally spoke. “We mean something right now. Unless you’re trying to– well, I mean, something like that isn’t happening anytime soon.”
“Oh, yeah, for right now, I’m cool with whatever,” she said. “We can just sit in my house and talk for today. I really wanna hear what you ponies have been up to.”
“That sounds good to me,” Soft Step said. “I can stay up for a couple of more hours.” Both Bright Sky and Spell Master nodded in agreement.
“We’re still going bowling though eventually, right?” Jesse asked. “I know you said you already did that with Agile and Spell Master and Bright Sky, but I still haven’t gotten to do it with you, and I was the one who asked.”
“Huh? When did you– Oh, yeah! Of course,” she smiled kindly, turning her head and pushing her eyes into his. “And Soft Step has to come bowling with us, too, since she hasn’t been yet, either.”
“And then we can do a big group thing together after that,” Bright Sky said. “Like heading down to the beach? It’d be kind of hard for you to swim as a pony though.”
“It was hard to do when I wasn’t a pony,” the mare laughed. “But I’m sure I could figure it out. That would be fun.”
“Or eating out, since you can taste the food now and we can’t,” Soft Step suggested. “Or actually, you could be at a restaurant with us in the game, and we eat at a restaurant in real life. That would be fun.”
“Yeah, or something like a picnic?” Jesse offered.
“A restaurant would be cool, Soft,” Composition said. “There’s some good food in this town. Believe me, I tried it.”
“There’s amusement parks in Canterlot, I heard,” Agile said. “What about eating dinner and then doing something like that?”
Through a list of ideas the group went, each pony seemingly trying to one up each other, to the point of absurdity. Jesse couldn’t help feeling a little bit ignored, but he didn’t think much of it, knowing it was probably not intentional.
“We can go digging for dinosaur bones, and try to recreate their DNA into Jurassic Park in real life,” Composition laughed. “And then Celestia forces you all to upload and–”
“Hey, sorry guys, I have to go,” Jesse interrupted. “My parents wanna talk to me about something.”
“See ya, Sparky,” Composition waved in quick goodbye. “Anyway, we could…”
Jesse clicked his screen off and sighed. That brush off hurt a little bit, but he was probably just being overly sensitive.
Need to find a chance to talk to her when she’s alone. Then I should actually be able to ask her straight up. He didn’t think she meant including everyone when she said she wanted something casual.
But he couldn’t think about it long because his father called him down the stairs to talk. He had no idea what it could possibly be about though. He hadn’t talked to his parents about anything serious in years, except maybe about still shutting off the wifi after midnight like he was nine years old. He didn’t know what to expect.
He, of course, should have expected it to be about the only thing anyone in the world talked about these days. His father was wearing a stern, but concerned look on his face, and his mother copied his father’s expression. He had an idea of what they were going to say next.
“You know, we’re concerned about you, son,” his mother started. “We know you like that game, Equestria Online, but the two of us want you tobe careful. All of these people in the news going to those Experience Centers– we don’t want you doing something like that and...”
“Okay?” he asked back, confused. “I’m not going to upload. I have no plans to upload.” Granted, Sheila now being in Equestria made his desire to emigrate extremely high, but he truly had no plans to upload, simply because of the two people sitting across from him.
“We know you don’t right now,” his father now started, “but we heard that the AI in that game, Celestia, is good at convincing people to join that- that… suicide cult, for lack of a better term. We don’t want to see you end up doing that.”
“Well like I said, I don’t have any plans to do that ever, unless I’m about to die. Or, like, it looks like it’s getting too dangerous in the real world or they’re about to close uploading forever.” They both opened their mouths to try and refute him, but he continued, “Also, I’m twenty one. I’m not a little kid. I know what I’m doing. Speaking of which, can you not shut off the wifi at eleven o’clock?”
“We know, son,” his mother started again. “We just want you to be safe, and think about how much time you’re spending on that PonyPad of yours. We can’t imagine what it would be like if you left us.”
“There’s no way for you to know that Equestria is a real place you can go to anyway,” his father added. “Not unless you do it, and that’s just too risky. You know that.”
“I do know that. Which is why, again, I’m not gonna upload. What the heck brought all of this on, anyway?”
“Well, we heard you talking about what happened to Sheila a few days ago. We just want to make sure you’re being safe. We weren’t trying to eavesdrop, but we just don’t want you jumping in there after her just because you like her.”
His face went red. He wasn’t making it that obvious, was he? Obvious enough that his parents could tell? “Well I am being safe,” Jesse assured the two. “I’m not gonna upload. I don’t want to upload.” Two truths and a lie, it was, but sixty six percent was still passing. He held back the thought of going in there simply to ask Sheila if they could spend some time alone together right now..
They both sighed, and his mother finished, “Okay, honey. Just make sure you’re being safe. Don’t let that game make you promises it can’t keep? We care about you.”
“Don’t let Celestia put in your head that ponies are people either,” his father said. “I read something that proved all those people who thought they were uploading were just killing themselves and making a copy. They’re not your real friends. They’re clones.”
That sounded like the kind of hypothetical Eliza might put forward when she was feeling really down about herself, a point she argued with him and their friends over in times when she was feeling especially bad about everything. That wasn’t a point he wanted to argue right now though.
“Whatever, Dad. I said I’m not gonna upload already. What more do you wanna hear?”
“We just want to make sure you're safe is all. You’re spending more and more time on that thing every day it seems like, while the world gets worse and worse. We don’t wanna see what’s happening to everyone else happen to you.”
Well, over the last few days, he’d hardly been playing at all, since Composition wasn’t around until then, but he didn’t bring that up. He only finished with a simple, “I will be.” I wouldn’t try to emigrate without you guys anyway, he thought silently. It would suck too much if you both died and I couldn’t change that.
It wasn't just in Eliza's head. Renown Composition was acting weird.
It wasn't one big thing that was sounding alarm bells in her head, but instead, a bunch of little things. A weird reaction here, a funny comment there; it was like… well, Eliza didn't know. Like she was seeing a distorted, slightly inaccurate version of her best friend. It was strange and unfamiliar and Eliza didn't know what to do about it or whether or not she was just making something out of nothing.
She pretended not to notice at first, but things were definitely there even while they went bowling a couple of days later. She wasn’t sure if anyone else caught it, but it seemed like she was trying to avoid both she and Jesse, and didn’t give either a chance to be alone with her for very long. It wasn’t just that though– she also seemed like she was… Eliza didn’t know how to describe it. Less personal, maybe? It seemed like she was trying to avoid talking about herself outside of the little things, and mostly redirected conversation back to her friends when she was asked. It wasn’t something Eliza would pick up on with a lot of people, but she talked to Sheila every day. She knew her.
She tried to ignore it, but after a few weeks of this, she had to bring it up. Not to Sheila– she would probably just refute any weirdness if something strange was going on. Instead it would be to their friends. They could tell her what was up, if something was.
She didn't get the answers she expected. Both Cynthia and Drake said they didn't see what she was seeing, and Brandon, while acknowledging that she was acting weird, decided that it probably wasn't a big deal and that she would be back to normal soon.
"I can't really say for sure though," he told her. "I don't hang out with Sheila as often as I do with you and Cynthia. I'm sorry."
"It's fine," she said dejectedly. "I just feel like she's acting weird, but can't say anything about it without being weird. It's fucking stupid."
"You can ask Jesse," he offered. "I know he hangs out with her as often as you do."
"Yeah. I don't really… well, never mind. Let me call him. Hold on."
She tried a few times to get to him, but she gave up when he didn’t pick up. “He’s probably doing something with his parents,” she said. “But I’m telling you, she’s acting weird, and it’s concerning.”
“It could be anything though,” Brandon told her. “She was talking about her sense of time being faster, and said it’s been a few months for her since she saw us. That’s enough to get someone to change, right?”
“Why would Celesita do that though? If she did, that’d make it less likely that people would upload, since they’d be basically abandoning their friends. And that didn’t happen to anyone else we know.”
As far as she knew. She couldn’t say that for certain because none of them talked to her once they uploaded. They all had some NPC to spend time with now.
“I don’t know,” Brandon shrugged, finishing the conversation there. “Maybe you’re just overthinking it? You said Cynthia and Drake didn’t notice anything outside of the first day, and they hang out with her just as much as you do, right? It could just be in your head.”
Eliza let out a breath. “Maybe I am. I don’t know. I hope I am. I haven’t been able to have any one on one time with her in a while though. Maybe that’s part of it.”
Or maybe I want to avoid another friend finding someone new to spend time with. Maybe that’s what’s going on with her.
She paused for a moment, and then smiled. “Haven’t had much time alone with you either. You haven’t destroyed me in chess in a little while.”
“Wanna have a go now? I’ll go put on my headset.”
They hung out together in Composition’s shard, the place everyone in their friend group mostly stayed, until after a while, Composition herself spotted them and made her way into the library of Summer’s Edge. Sometimes Eliza wondered if either her friend or Celestia could hear their conversations when they were away from their PonyPads. She was just thinking about her.
Thankfully, the gray coated mare gave her an invitation to talk to her alone after Eliza had spent some decent time with Soft Step. “I’m not crashing anything, am I?” she asked. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt. Although I have to say, I’ve been getting pretty good at chess, I think.”
“Oh yeah? Wanna play around with me for a round or two?” Soft Step asked, wearing a smirk.
“And when the heck did you start playing chess of all things, Composition?” Eliza asked. “You didn’t seem like the nerd type like Soft Step is. You’re not slowly turning into Twilight Sparkle, are you?”
And didn’t you say you were on vacation? When would you have even played if you were doing ten million other things?
“Idunno. Maybe I am. You never know.” The three laughed at that, and she continued, “But I’ll play a couple of rounds, and then after that, I wanna hang out with Agile alone for a little while if I can. As long as I’m not stealing her away from you.”
“That’s fine,” Soft Step replied. “I understand. I’m just glad to have someone else to play with now.”
“It kinds of gets old for her when I just lose every time,” Eliza smiled. “Sometimes she just lets me take her pieces on purpose because I’m that bad, and she still beats me.”
“Yeah? Well don’t go easy on me. I got this.”
Watching the game from the sidelines, Soft Step went from confident, to concentrating hard, to suddenly surprised when she was beaten. It was just another weird thing the pegasus saw, but Soft Step didn’t seem to think much of it. Instead, she simply congratulated her before letting her go off with Eliza.
I need to talk to Jesse when I can, she said silently, making a mental note. If he was here, he would’ve thought that was weird. Or am I just going crazy? Is Brandon right?
“Wanna go to the music store?” she asked. “You’re not gonna believe it, but they have everything here. Like, everything from Elvis Presley to Slipknot. It’s crazy, and pretty gigantic. They have instruments there, too.”
“That sounds like fun.” Seeing Composition be happy set her more at ease. Maybe she was the one who was losing it. If Bright Sky and Spell Master and Soft Step hadn’t noticed anything, it could mean Eliza was overthinking it. She still needed to talk to Jesse though, something she very rarely did, and hadn’t done since Composition first returned. She might not have liked him very much, but his thoughts would be important.
She didn’t focus on that for now, and instead walked through the music store as Composition listened to her gush about anything and everything vaguely related. Her kindness and upbeat personality even while Eliza gushed and made occasional teasing jokes were a couple of the reasons why she liked the mare. Even better that she would tease Eliza back when she did.
“Wow, they even have obscure artists here,” she said. “Aphex Twin, Duncan Sheik– basically artists no one but me would know about. It’s pretty epic.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Composition smiled. “They even have Taylor Swift! Can you believe that?”
They both laughed at her little joke, and Eliza asked, “If you’re good at chess now, does that mean you’re also good at music and stuff, too? Cause I’m ready to form a garage band and tour the world if you are. After all, Cynthia used to play percussion in senior year. All we need is a bass or guitar or something.”
“Haha, if I were, you know I’d already be all over that. I bet Soft Step could learn something like that if she actually cared. But nope. I’m as tone deaf as ever.”
“Well that’s a good thing, because it means I can teach you myself some time. It’ll be fun.”
Eliza let out a breath she’d been holding in and smiled wider. Composition hadn’t just suddenly changed everything about herself like she thought. Maybe it was just the time in Equestria changing her like Soft Step suggested.
I’m probably just overthinking it, she thought. I need to chill out a bit.
“When did you learn how to play chess?” the girl asked casually. “Actually, how long have you been here now? You said it was about three months a few weeks ago. Does that mean you’re coming up on a year now?”
“Something like that, I think. I’ve… been kind of losing track,” she said, rubbing a hoof behind her head as her face went a little red. “I only started playing chess a few weeks ago. I’ve mostly been hanging around Summer’s Edge and talking to other ponies, you know?”
“Oh yeah?” Agile asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who’d you meet? Unless you’re gonna break my heart in two if you tell me.”
“It’s not important,” Composition waved a hoof dismissively. “I’ve just been hanging out, you know? There’s a whole world to experience.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Agile nodded, ignoring the weirdness. “Lots of things that can’t be done while I still exist in this mortal realm known as North Carolina, but what can you do? Equestria doesn’t have the same humanity as the real world. Only pony-manity.”
They both laughed again, and Eliza took a breath again. She was a little bit unsure about what she wanted to say next, for a whole bunch of reasons, the least of them being Composition’s recent behavior. She tried to relax and calm her nerves though. It was going to be fine.
“Speaking of things that can’t happen while I’m in North Carolina,” she started as the pegasus she controlled walked around and casually touched the keys of a nearby piano with a wing. “I was wondering if things had changed enough for us to try something.”
Eliza has a few ideas about what to expect from her. Maybe a little joke, or a sad sigh, or heck, even nervousness that Composition usually didn’t have. She couldn’t say she was expecting what she heard next.
“What do you mean, Agile? Try what?”
Eliza blinked, and her pony stepped back in surprise like she did in real life. “Uhh… try and be in a relationship?” she said slowly. “Remember?”
The mare turned around, and didn’t have any humor on her face or in her eyes. Nor was there fear or nervousness or annoyance or anything else except a confused tilt of her head and the slight raise of her eyebrow. Eliza didn’t know what to make of it.
“No? I don’t remember that conversation, if we had one. Did we?” The earth pony looked up at the ceiling as though trying to consider whether or not that happened. A long moment later, she finished, “No, I don’t remember that.”
“Uhhh, well, we definitely did talk about it. About a year ago or so? You just broke up with your ex a couple of months before, said something like, ‘I might want something like that, but right now things are just too difficult’? Remember?”
“Umm, no? I don’t remember that. At all.”
“For real?” Composition nodded, and Eliza sat down on her bed, Agile Trace sitting on her haunches to copy the human. It was her turn to look up at the ceiling and try to remember, a very easy task for her to do. It was a clear conversation that played in her head, one plain as day. There was no way she’d forget something like that, because she would’ve accepted an answer of ‘no’ if it hadn’t been phrased that way. There was no way Eliza wasn’t just completely losing it, right?.
“Um, are you okay, Agile?”
“I… I probably am. Yeah, I am. I just need to talk to someone really quick. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Uh, okay, but you can talk to me if you need.” She tried to take a step closer, but Eliza’s pony moved back before she could get near her. She did not like what she was seeing of Composition.
“I’ll get back to you later, but I need to talk to someone else first.”
She touched a few buttons on her PonyPad, and just a second later, her pegasus was flying up through the sky and landing in the park near Soft Step. She was hanging out with Candle Light and another mare she didn’t know when she got there, but the unicorn quickly excused herself to go to Agile. She didn’t wait for her friend to ask the question.
“Composition is acting fucking weird.I’m telling you, Soft.”
“What happened back there?” the mare asked in a hushed whisper. “I didn’t see anything that was too strange.”
“She just doesn’t remember the things she should! I mean, you saw for yourself she was being weird! You’re the best chess player I know, and she stomped you. And she hates chess! How is that not weird?” Eliza’s pony extended her wings and had an exasperated look on her face. It was a look she copied in real life.
“I know, Agile,” Soft Step told her. “And yeah, that is weird, but if she’s been in here for over a year by this point, I think she’d probably act weird, right? But I also don’t hang around her as much as you guys do, so I wouldn’t know as much.”
Eliza took a deep breath as she closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll go ask someone else. I didn’t mean to interrupt your time with Candle Light and that other pony. I’ll talk to you later, Soft.”
“It’s fine. I’ll see you later, Agile.”
Eliza clicked off her PonyPad and paced around her little apartment for a little while, trying her best to piece together exactly what was going on with the mare. She couldn’t fit the puzzle all together, but it was definitely strange. This was going from her friend acting weird to being downright bizarre. Unless Eliza was the one going crazy. She really needed to talk to Jesse at some point.
No, there’s no way I’m going crazy, the girl thought nervously. It’s not like Sheila at all. She wouldn’t just forget that, would she? Unless Celestia made her forget? Would she ask for something like that?
She didn’t know, but decided it was pointless to pace around and try to think about it herself. She got out her phone and called Jesse again.
Renown Composition slowly blinked herself awake to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. It wasn't an out of place experience; most days she woke up to breakfast being cooked while she stayed in bed. Sometimes she considered getting up to meet the mysterious ponies who cooked for her every morning, as she did now. However, she ditched the idea like always, deciding that she didn't care enough to meet whoever it was. Maybe it was Princess Celestia herself.
It certainly wasn't the stallion still sleeping quietly next to her, Sound Solace. He was a very attractive stallion with a beige and sand colored coat, along with black hair and blue eyes. He was a smidge on the taller side, and was built extremely well, in more ways than one. Strong for a pegasus, nice and kind, funny, energetic– it was about what she expected Celestia to provide for her on her vacation, and probably what she would have built herself if given the option. He was perfect. Just perfect.
Eventually, Composition forced herself to get up and out of bed, just in time for breakfast to be finished and the cook to have disappeared again when she got to the dining room. It was okay though, since it gave her time to wake up some more before Solace got up. Many things were laid out on the table before her to choose from; parfaits and frittatas and quiches and belgian waffles and whatever else she could have possibly wanted. Today though she just opted for oatmeal and fruit, along with a couple of mugs of coffee. Something simple would do her good for a change.
She yawned as she carefully cut up the fruit and stirred it into her bowl, staring at pictures that sat on the shelves just across from her in the living room while she ate. The frames contained scenes of adventure and excitement– snow capped mountains and deep sea snorkeling and tents set up in deep forests and a host of other adventurous activities. There were also social things captured, like a scene of she and Solace winning bits at a casino and a bonfire party somewhere outside of Equestria and visiting the ruins of something or other. Skydiving and strobe light parties and ziplining and everything else she could think of. Every day was something new, and brought her something else exciting. It was all wonderful and perfect, and helped her to enjoy this vacation.
Just perfect, it was, perfect enough that she imagined two ponies who were close to her would love doing all of these things, too.
A little sigh escaped her, and she closed her eyes for a moment before going back to her breakfast. Once she was finished, she flopped back into bed next to Solace, who turned over and wrapped his hooves around her waist. She wiggled in close to him and closed her eyes to exist in the moment for a few minute before he decided it was time for him to get up, too. With his getting up and out of bed, Composition figured it was time to actually start getting ready for another exciting day of doing who knew what. She certainly didn’t, opting to let the stallion decide most days.
She took a quick shower, and by the time she was out of the room again, Sound Solace was sitting on a sofa, already finished with breakfast. He smiled up at her, the same as he always did. It was more like an excited grin actually, one that said he had already come up with an idea for the day.It was a task he never failed at.
“We haven’t gone sailing yet, have we?” he asked. “We should do that today. We're gonna be landing near a lake, I think. It would be fun. Or windsurfing."
Had they gone sailing? It seemed hard to believe that they didn't, but no such memory came to her. It certainly sounded like fun, she thought. Windsurfing even more so.
A quick look out the window to the deck of the ship showed a pristine, crystal blue sky and a bright yellow sun shining down on them. A perfect day, just as it had been for the last however many weeks. There were no clouds below them, the ground now visible as the ship approached landing, settling itself onto a dock by a large, blue lake. It was a little early in the morning to be going outside, the sun having just risen from the location they landed at. Composition stretched her limbs again and let out another yawn.
“What are we doing after that?” she asked. “I know we went to the casino last night, but what if we went again? That was fun.”
The stallion smiled confidently back at her, a look that Composition returned to him. “That sounds good to me, if you wanna.”
Yes, that sounded like it would be another wonderful day. An absolutely perfect one to her, just like every other had been so far on this vacation.
How am I still depressed? she wondered silently, keeping anything she felt off of her face, leaving her expression blank. This is the adventure of a lifetime. What the heck is wrong with me?
She was certain he was oblivious to her feelings as he flopped onto the sofa next to her and pressed his coat into hers. She closed her eyes for a second and shook her head clear of those things, taking the chance to press into him. It felt nice to exist like this for a moment.
What even was Sound Solace to her though? A stallion friend? A friend with benefits? She didn’t know, but she imagined he was just somepony to fill the void during this vacation. Maybe he’d be somepony close to her after this adventure was finished. She couldn’t say. She did know though that he would never be able to…
She stopped herself right there, and decided to put that thought away for now. She was on vacation. He was absolutely perfect for her. Just perfect.
The meantime was spent with her sitting next to her companion and jotting down ideas for drawings, as well as something to write later. The stallion looked over her shoulder every so often and asked questions, and occasionally gave suggestions. Most of them were not great, but some were better than ideas she had, and she kept them. She enjoyed the company he offered, even in a small moment like this.
It wasn’t terribly long before both she and Solace were stepping out of their room on the ship. There were a hundred other ponies already out, laughing and talking as they took in the sun and the bright blue lake. The air smelled nice and sweet, and a nice warm breeze hit her coat as she stood next to her friend. She’d been windsurfing once before a few years ago, and the day was just like this. This would be great.
“Are you ready?” Sound Solace asked with a large grin. It was one she saw every day, and a question she’d heard from him many times.
“Ready as always,” she replied, returning a grin of her own.
She absolutely was ready for the day that was planned, one that gave her familiar thrills as she received those new experiences. Her board glided across the water as she stood firm atop it, the wind rippling through her mane and hitting her face. This was what it was all about. A new day with new things to do. It was perfect.
Just perfect.
It was a morning spent doing just that, and after a quick bite of lunch, she and Solace spent their afternoon swimming and watching other ponies continue on their board. The water was a bit cooler than she expected, but it was okay because the air was hotter in the afternoon. The sun warmed up her back and mane, and seemed to catch Solace’s coat at a particularly nice angle. It brought to her thoughts of the evening, where they would try their luck at the poker table this time before they headed back to their room to enjoy another nice night in each other’s company.
This is so fucking selfish. I’m treating them like shit.
The longer this vacation went on, the more she realized that this wasn’t satisfying her– not in the way she wanted it. Momentary satisfaction was found, sure, but did Celestia really think this was a good idea? How could avoiding her problems bring any sort of happiness?
She didn’t know, but the thought left her mind when Solace splashed her playfully. This was supposed to be a vacation from all of those things, nothing more. The presumption of satisfaction coming from this was silly to think about, and she knew it. She was only taking a break. She would get back to it after this. Eventually.
She hoped her friends weren’t missing her too badly.
She met a mare while she swam who she talked to about art, and another pony after that who went on and on about all of the businesses he wanted to open after this air cruise. Both were nice, and could be added to the list of friends she made while here, although she wondered if any of these were relationships that would last. Even Sound Solace. Would she know him when…?
It was a few hours she spent swimming around the lake with him, laughing and chatting up other ponies before they finally pulled themselves out and dried off. They and most of the rest of the ponies on the cruise with them watched the sun set before they headed back on board. Just a little while after that, they found themselves at the casino on the deck, sitting at a poker table with many chips in hand. Solace only watched Composition play, but it was still a good time for both of them. She lost some bits, but it wasn’t a big deal, because Solace laughed with her, and the free drinks kept coming around. It was another good time she had.
She could say the same for the night she spent with Sound Solace once they got back to her room. He changed things up, did some things she liked more, and a few things he enjoyed better. That was one of the things that made this better than she expected. There were things he liked that she wasn't really into, which helped him to feel more like a real pony. It was perfect.
Just. Perfect. Almost unnaturally so. Was there even a flaw about him, outside of being so frustratingly well created? Not one that Composition could think of, something she wondered about as he held her close after a long night before they fell asleep.
Another new day came, Renown Composition opening her eyes to the smell of breakfast, like she always did. This time though, she didn’t get out of bed. Instead, she pulled the blanket over her head to block out the light and dilute the delicious scent. What was the point? Everything was great, except for her. All of these things brought her joy, but any happiness received from them felt empty.
It wasn’t terribly long before Sound Solace was getting out of bed, which forced her to get up. She ignored breakfast while he ate, and sat on the couch, staring ahead at nothing. What would today bring her? Probably nothing but perfection, she assumed. It was all so perfect, as it had been for the last two months.
Was Composition being selfish? She didn’t know. It certainly felt like she was.
“We’re stopping in the mountains today,” Solace said when he finally joined her on the couch. “I was thinking we could try climbing them. We’d need gear and stuff to get to the top, because they said it’s cold up there, but I bet we could do it.” He had the same confident smile he always did, and it forced Composition to put on one of her own.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” she agreed. “Let me get some breakfast first though.”
She only took a single step before she spoke again. “Actually, I changed my mind,” she told him without turning around. “I don’t think I wanna do that today.”
“Oh?” He didn’t sound disappointed to Composition as he walked up behind her and looked over the mare’s shoulder. “What would you rather do then?”
She closed her eyes and let out a long breath. “I’d rather go back home and see my friends.”
“Why don’t you take a seat for us?” Jesse’s father told him, just like last time. Both he and his mother were already at the dining room table when Jesse entered. It was very out of the blue for him to see and hear, but he had an idea of what this would be about. A few actually, since they just talked to him out of the blue a few weeks ago.
He didn’t bother with speaking, only staring ahead as he waited for his parents to bring up what they wanted. They had anxious looks on their faces, and his father opened and shut his mouth several times as he searched for the words he wanted to say. Finally though, he spoke.
“You know a lot about Equestria, son,” the man started slowly. “Probably more than most people.”
“Certainly more than we do,” his mother added.
“Do you think that–” He stopped before he could get it all out, and Jesse raised an eyebrow. A second later, his father turned his eyes to the floor to think about what exactly he wanted to say.
“Well, we wanna know,” the man started again, “what… exactly about that pony game makes everyone so… aggressive about it? Why do people like it?” It was exactly the question and conversation Jesse expected.
“That’s because of Celestia,” he explained, letting out a small breath. “The long and the short of it is that Celestia is a master manipulator. They don’t lie in the news when they say that. But also, the game is extremely good, because the whole point of Celestia is to satisfy you, so she tries hard to do that. Like, it’s not inherently dangerous, but she does ultimately want everyone to upload.”
That was just about how Renown Composition described it to him before she was forced into emigrating. How long ago was that conversation? It must have been decades for him by this point, but no. It was one he had with his friend just a couple of months before she was shot.
His father nodded, but Jesse wasn’t sure he really grasped what he was saying. In any case, the man continued, “What about that girl you like? Sheila? You told us about her before, and what happened. Is she still okay?”
His face went a little bit red as mention of the mare. “Yeah. I still talk to her every day. I was actually about to head online to chat with her soon.” He left out the reason for it, and how much less confident in Celestia he was feeling in general. His parents didn’t need to hear that when they were already so skeptical.
"If you're asking about if we should do it now, the answer is no," he continued, adjusting his glasses. "Basically all of my friends and I plan on doing that once we decide there's no other options, and we're not there yet."
"We– we weren't saying that," his father said quickly. "You're mother and I just want to hear more about it since you do nothing else all day. We're not talking about that."
"Okay… so what else did you want to know more about then?" Jesse asked flatly.
“Well, you told us before about the reasons why you would upload. You said only if we were about to die or if we were in danger, right?”
“Yeah, or if they were about to ban uploading,” he confirmed. “It’d only be for those reasons because– well, never mind. But you understand. I wouldn't wanna risk myself like that, and I wouldn’t wanna risk you guys, either.”
It felt like their roles were reversed as he talked to them. They took what he said at face value, and thankfully didn't argue too much. After all, what could they say in response?
He felt his phone buzzing, but turned it off for now to keep focus on his parents. "I don't know about that last reason, but the others… might be something to consider," his father said. “I’d wanna know more about it before we ever did something like that. From you, Jesse.”
“Yeah, like, how do you know you’re not– well, how do you know it’s all real?” his mother asked. “There’s nothing that would hurt more than seeing you…”
“I told you before I wouldn’t emigrate yet,” he assured her. “I promise.”
“Thanks son,” his mother replied, wearing a little smile.
“It’s a lot of questions we have right now,” his father started again, “and if you’re not busy, having them answered would be great. It’s a lot we’ve been hearing on the news these last few weeks, about protests and riots and things getting worse and laws, and we want to be as informed as we can.”
This was good. Better than their last conversation. He still wasn’t planning on doing anything, but if it started to get hairy, having them understand now would be better than trying to explain it in the moment.
“What exactly did you hear about on the news?” he asked casually. “I don’t remember hearing anything about riots, but I do know a few states are trying to pass laws against emigration.”
“I think there were some things going on in Tennessee the last your mother and I heard,” his father said. “And it didn’t seem like it was anything good. We’re… worried about something like that happening here.”
“Nor riots though, right?” Jesse asked, feeling his heart beat just a little bit faster at the thought.
“No, I don’t think it was that bad,” the man clarified, setting Jesse back at ease. “I think they were just protests. But we– well… are you sure about all of this, son?”
Jesse blinked. Were they asking him for permission to upload?
“Like, right now?” he asked. “Definitely not right now. But in general, it’d be good to have a plan about it. I already told you when I would, and I can’t think of any reason why that would change at all. Like, seriously. But that’s not gonna be for years, I don’t think.”
His parents nodded in understanding, and seemed to become more relaxed. “I think that makes sense, right honey?” his mother said as she looked up at his father. “If things got really bad or we were about to get hurt, that would be okay, I think.” His father nodded again in agreement.
“What brought all of this on though?” Jesse had to ask. “You said they weren’t riots, but how bad were those protests?”
“It was only in Chattanooga, but we heard they were thinking about sending the military in if things got worse there,” his mother said. “I don’t want something like that to happen here.”
“Especially now that they’re talking about laws here in North Carolina,” his father added. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go along with it just because of some new laws, but–”
“Wait, what?” That caught Jesse’s attention. “When the heck did they say that?” He remembered hearing from someone about how they wanted to pass laws against it, but he didn’t think that would be coming so soon.
But then again, how surprised could he really be? If they were people as old as his parents passing laws like that, he should have expected it, especially with the way things seemed to be going. But still, it was surprising to hear, and was just another thing that added anxiety to his worries about the future.
I’ll probably be okay for now, he told himself. Even if they ban uploading here, there’s other states to go to. It only starts to become an issue if a whole bunch of states do it at the same time, or if there’s a nationwide ban. If it came to that, then… if push came to shove, he’d bite the bullet and go to the Experience Center sooner than he would’ve liked.
“Just because they’re banning it though isn’t a good enough reason, son,” his mother said. “It’d be different if our lives were in danger or if things got scary. We wouldn’t want to do something like this on a whim.”
“If they just pose a nationwide ban on emigration, then it’s not gonna matter if our lives are in danger,” he told them. “But whatever. It’s fine for now. I don’t think anything is gonna happen very soon anyway. I’d let you know whenever I thought the best time would be. I need to see who was trying to call me though.” He could get into the finer details with the two of them later.
It was surprising how little time there was in between turning on his phone and Eliza showing up at his door. He wasted no time in answering the first of six missed calls, and before he knew it, the girl was coming into his home. He couldn’t say he ever had her over before, but she insisted on speaking with him face to face.
It felt a bit weird to have her here; he didn’t really like her, and he knew she didn’t care for him. They mostly hung out with each other because they were in the same friend group, and had not been alone together even one time that he could think of. But she was here now, and she looked unnerved, a change from her usual flat expression that she wore.
“It’s fucking weird,” she said. “She’s being fucking weird. Like, it’s one thing to be good at chess or a little more sensitive than usual, but it’s another to just straight up forget conversations we’ve had together. Like, I’m not just going crazy, right?”
“Uh, no, she has been acting weirder than usual,” Jesse agreed. “I haven’t seen her forget anything we’ve ever talked about, but she definitely hasn’t been herself while I’ve been around her at least.”
“Good. That means I’m not on the verge of being checked into a psych ward. That’s good.” Jesse watched the girl close her eyes and sigh to ease her nerves. She was definitely uncomfortable, which made him nervous. If she was feeling off because of this, then something was really wrong with their friend.
Eliza brushed a strand of black hair from in front of her face. “Like, Cynthia and Drake said they haven’t seen anything weird with her outside of the first time we saw her again as a group. Brandon said he thought she was being a little weird, but he doesn’t hang out with her like the rest of us do. So I was gonna chalk it up to just her being in Equestria for so long that she acts a little different now. But then she said she forgot about a conversation we had. Like, straight up didn’t remember at all. And like– I don’t know. It’s just unnerving, and it’s honestly making me wonder if I’m just going crazy. I’m worried about her.”
She said it all almost in one continuous breath. Hearing it from Eliza made him worried, and he had to take a breath, too. “Yeah, that hasn’t happened to me, but like I said, there’s been a whole bunch of little things that have been off about her. I was just thinking about it the other day, and was gonna bring it up with her today. Like, see if she talked to Celestia about doing something to her. I heard she can change a pony’s mentality if they ask for it.”
“Composition would never ask for that,” Eliza said quickly, almost angry at just the idea. “If Celestia did that, then at best, she was blackmailed. And Composition would say something like, ‘Celesita wouldn’t do something that would make us not want to upload’ because changing people’s minds without consent, or through blackmail– that’s a deal breaker for me. There’s no way that’s what happened.”
Jesse didn’t know if it would be a deal breaker for him, but it still wasn’t a pleasant thought. “Do you think we should talk to her? Or maybe we could just go to Celestia and ask her what’s up.”
“Would she even tell us anything if we asked?”
Jesse didn’t know, and only shrugged in response. Composition herself would know– she knew basically everything about the game as far as the two of them and the rest of their friend group understood. But if she was acting weird, she probably wouldn’t be a good source for information.
“I mean, I don’t really know what else there is for us to do if something’s up with her. I’d say we should talk to her first, and if she’s still acting weird, or if she says she asked for something we know she wouldn’t want, then we can just go to Celestia, right?”
Eliza scowled and looked away. “I really, really don’t like that idea,” she said. “But I guess we can do that. It’s not like there’s any other options anyway. Maybe it would help if the rest of our friends were there, too.”
“If Cynthia and Drake don’t see anything wrong with her,” Jesse told her, “then there’s no point in asking them to come with us. You said Brandon thought she was being weird, too?”
“Yeah, but he’s going to work soon, and doesn’t hang out with her like we do.”
“Well, then I guess it should probably just be us two. See if she’ll tell us anything, and then go to Celestia if we don’t find anything.”
“Sounds like a plan, I guess,” Eliza finished as she shook her head in annoyance. “I’ll be on my PonyPad right when I get home. I didn’t bring it with me for obvious reasons.”
“Yeah. I’ll meet up with you when you get home then.”
Eliza didn’t waste any time walking out the door after that. She left without a goodbye or a wave or even a ‘see you later’, not that Jesse was surprised. She didn’t try very hard to hide her dislike for him, and he didn’t do much better. He mostly hoped Composition was okay, and talked to Eliza only because Composition liked her.
Bad attitude, he told himself silently. That’s a bad attitude to have. I need to stop thinking like that.
He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, letting out a long sigh he’d been holding in. Maybe he should have just gotten it over with and emigrated when Composition did. Things would have probably been a lot less chaotic if he did.
Jesse didn’t grab his headset immediately. He was too curious about what his parents said about those laws against uploading they talked about. He expected them to come eventually, but he didn’t think it would be quite this soon.
Nothing in North Carolina yet, it seemed, just from a quick search. But a couple of states had indeed gone that route, Mississippi and Tennessee from the looks of it. The former set restrictions for anyone under a certain age, but Tennessee from what he read made it an outright ban. They even went so far as to require an ID for anyone under twenty one to even buy a PonyPad anymore. Not much use in that though, since about ninety percent of the country already had one. Even while he was still in highschool, most of his classmates played Equestria Online. There was nothing that particular law would do.
There were more than a few states that were considering laws related to Equestria Online though, North Carolina being one of them, like his parents said. The legislation his state proposed was about as strict as Tennessee’s was, and a few other states somehow were more so. Places like South Dakota and Ohio were trying to fully ban Equestria Online altogether, and wanted to make even having a PonyPad illegal. He could see why– at least, he could understand why. But he couldn’t imagine a single person who wasn’t geriatric who would like something like this. It wasn’t good.
It would probably be fine though. Maybe. He hoped so anyway. But doom scrolling about what might happen in the future wasn’t gonna help anything, and in fact would only make it more likely that he’d make a rash decision. It was probably best to put his phone down for now.
He picked up his PonyPad and headset, and found Agile Trace already waiting for him in his shard. “Ready to get on with it?” she asked flatly. “I was starting to think your parents would cut off your wifi and tell you to do something else. They treat you like you’re five years old.”
His ears flattened in embarrassment, but he didn’t comment on it. He only offered a simple, “Let’s go” before he lit up his horn to bring them to Summer’s Edge.
Neither should have been surprised when they didn’t spot her, despite walking up and down the town looking. Eliza certainly wasn’t, her flat look becoming a scowl, but Jesse kind of was. His pony rubbed a hoof against the ground as he wondered what might be going on.
“Celestia is definitely fucking with us,” Agile said. “Watch. She’s gonna be gone for however many more days and act even weirder. Or maybe Celestia will try and fix her back from what-the-hell-ever she did to her. She said Celestia asked her to take time for herself before, didn’t she? This is probably why.”
“Yeah, maybe, but, like… why?” Jesse asked. He couldn’t really disagree with anything the mare said, having no better explanation to offer to her. But still…
“Why would she be doing this at all?” he asked. “As far as Composition told me, she wouldn’t just do things for no reason. What the heck does it accomplish if she makes Composition spend time doing whatever and then changes her?”
Agile Trace sighed, now looking depressed. “This… I have an idea of what it might be, but it’s… just fucking depressing.” She didn’t wait for him to ask what it was, starting again, “I was almost convinced that this whole… living in Equestria on a computer thing, I almost was able to say ‘yeah, this is legit’. Because Composition wouldn’t just do something that would kill her. If she thought that, she would just wait for a liver. But just like everypony else who uploads, she’s gonna eventually just stop talking to us altogether because it’s not really her.”
That was a morbid thought, but one that Jesse quickly shook his head clear off. “That doesn’t make sense,” he refuted. “It was definitely her when we first talked to her when she uploaded. If it wasn’t her, then why the heck would she tell us she was gonna take time to herself?”
“Because Celestia wants us to upload, too, and at this point, it’s seeming pretty inevitable. Honestly, what the heck is the point?” The pony sighed depressively, and sat on her haunches, staring at her hooves.
“She’s definitely here, Agile, trust me,” Jesse encouraged, offering a hoof to help her stand again. She took it, and he continued, “If she wasn’t here, then she wouldn’t be acting differently. Or at the very least, she wouldn’t have seemed like she’s different now instead of when we very first talked to her. She only acted differently after we first saw her.”
Agile let out a relieved breath, and then, probably for the first time ever, smiled at Jesse. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.” She let out another breath and went back to frowning again a second later. “It’s still fucked, whatever Celestia is trying to do.” Her frown turned into a scowl, larger than any other one he’d ever seen Agile wear. “I wanna talk to her right now. She’s gonna fucking hear it from me. Where’s the nearest building?”
Jesse couldn’t argue with that, and followed her into the closest building to them, pressing the cutie mark of the sun princess that would call her forth. Instead of the princess coming to them though, the two were brought to her castle in Canterlot, to stand before her throne. Jesse knew Celestia was keeping watch over their conversation, just as she kept watch over everything else she could, both inside and outside of Equestria Online. She didn’t look bothered though, and instead smiled down at them kindly, like she was inviting them for tea.
Neither needed to speak, the tall alicorn princess-god bringing up the topic on the two’s mind before they could ask.
“I understand you both are concerned for your friend, Renown Composition,” she started, her tone no different than if she was discussing the weather. “Rest assured though, she is in safe hooves.”
“What did you do to her?” Jesse asked before his companion could. It was probably best if he talked instead of Agile. The mare next to him looked ready to scream.
“I can assure you that, outside of her emigration and her very specific request to reduce her sensitivity to nudity, I haven’t altered her in any way, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”
“She’s not the same as who she was though,” Agile said through gritted teeth. “She’s just not. There’s a whole bunch of things that are off about her, and stuff she just doesn’t remember that happened on Earth. She’s not herself, and I know she wouldn’t ask for something like that.”
“You’re correct, and she did not. I’ve made no alteration to her, either physically or mentally, since she emigrated to Equestria. She is exactly the same now as she was when she first arrived.”
“She’s not the same as who she was when she was on Earth though,” Jesse said. His pony rubbed a hoof into the ground and frowned like he did in real life.
“She wouldn’t just change like she has,” Agile continued. “And if she did, she certainly wouldn’t forget stuff. Important stuff. So you either altered her, or we’re looking at a copy of her or something.”
“Well…”
Jesse couldn’t say he’d ever seen Princess Celestia look nervous as she did now, and he was certain Agile Trace couldn’t either. The tall, white alicorn was however, and looked away. Was she ashamed?
“Tell us what’s going on right now,” Agile Trace demanded. “If you don’t, you can be sure neither of us will ever upload. And we’re gonna tell our friends not to, too.”
That was a statement that Jesse could say he would likely stand by. If Composition was some different pony because of the princess, that would almost certainly make his desire to upload drop to near nonexistence.
The look on the two’s faces seemed to be enough to convince Celestia that their threats were real. Now the alicorn flattened her ears and stared at her hooves for a long moment. She was definitely ashamed, and let a minute or two of silence pass by before she spoke again.
“I must admit,” she finally started, looking back into the faces of the two ponies before her again, “that I believed I would be able to do an acceptable job of taking Renown Composition’s place while she was away. It seems as though your friendship with her is strong, and you were able to tell that it wasn’t her. I apologize for the deception I gave to you both, Solar Spark and Agile Trace.”
“What are you talking about?” Jesse asked. “Why were you trying to take Composition’s place?”
“Because she needs time to adjust to Equestria, and I believed it would be best if she did so alone, without distraction. I hoped that she would be ready to find her satisfaction in this place before too long, but with the time she was taking, as well as both of your fondness for her, I thought it would be best if I interceded on her behalf until she returned. It seems that was not the best course of action.”
“So then she’s fine?” Agile asked. “Or are you just gonna try and make another, better copy?”
“Yes, she is perfectly fine at the moment. However, I did not copy your friend because I know neither you, nor Solar Spark, would find satisfaction in a copy of Renown Composition. That’s why I interceded on her behalf. Once again, I apologize.”
“How do we know that’s the truth though?” Eliza asked accusingly. “If you lied once, why wouldn’t you lie to us again?”
Jesse knew that was an easy question to answer, and wasn’t surprised by the explanation Celestia offered. “Because I’ve already betrayed your trust one time. If I did so again, and you noticed, your faith in me to satisfy your values would die, and you would refuse to upload regardless of the circumstances. I don’t wish to risk that outcome. I should have seen better than to put your faith in me at risk even this once.”
“Take us to her then!” Jesse said, not meaning to sound demanding, but coming off that way anyway. “We need to talk to her ourselves! I don’t wanna just take your word for it that she’s fine and wait for you to try and trick us again!”
“I understand, and I will allow this,” Celestia agreed. “However, please don’t see these things that I’ve done as a betrayal of your trust. I only wished for Renown Composition to find herself, and for you to be satisfied while she searched and thought over her desires.”
Jesse didn’t know if he trusted that explanation, but it all made sense. Agile looked even more skeptical, but he knew she wouldn’t see any flaws in her reasoning either. It didn’t make it more infuriating that Celestia tried to do this. But it was probably forgivable so long as Composition actually was safe and fine, as the AI said. Probably.
Unless she’s really not here, Jesse thought, trying and failing not to be pessimistic and fearful. It would set any hopes he had aflame, both for emigrating as well as the obvious. He hoped his friend was safe.
There were no more words spoken as Celestia lit up her horn to take them to where their friend was hopefully waiting for them.
Renown Composition stepped off the airship in the city of Canterlot, where she originally left for her vacation weeks ago. It was surprisingly simple for the ship capitan to get her back to Canterlot, and did so at the mare’s request. In under twenty four hours, she was dropped off on the street she met the airship at.
She didn’t leave without a hug first to Sound Solace, and a little thank you to him for being by her side in what was an adventure of a lifetime. But she didn’t stay longer than that, except to tell him that she’d talk to him again if they ever found the chance to meet up.
What have I even been doing for the last two months? she wondered silently as she gave a wave to the stallion while the ship pulled away again. What was the point of it, except to live out some hedonistic fantasy?
Probably for her to realize how badly she needed her friends. She imagined that was what Celestia was trying to get through to her. Of course, she knew that, but she avoided them for what? To distract herself from a silly love triangle with a different, seemingly perfect stallion? How selfish was that?
No more being down about myself, she scolded herself. I need to get my head screwed on straight.
She spent the next couple of days in Canterlot doing just that, opting not to head back to Summer’s Edge just yet, despite how much she missed her friends. Decompressing from what was an amazing adventure would probably be needed.
She rented a hotel with the bits Celestia gave her before she went on her trip, and walked around the city the next day to just take it all in. She heard before that it looked just like it did in the original TV show, but she didn’t know. It was certainly beautiful though.
She found herself walking into a city planning meeting at a community center, and found that she actually enjoyed listening in, despite the fact that she didn’t live here. That seemed like it would be fun to do in Summer’s Edge when she finally got back there. Agile would certainly like something like that.
And, of course, the second she thought about her friends, the pang of guilt and shame hit her. She could’ve invited both of them on that cruise, even if they were still really in the Outer Realm. They would’ve gone with her if she did. There were things they both liked. But of course…
She shook that thought clear as she appreciated the simple beauty of the elegant city. Designing Summer’s Edge would be fun, she decided, and left it at that.
Composition half expected Celestia to make Sound Solace the perfect pony she would love and want to be with forever to solve this, and was a bit surprised that he wasn’t really more than just a tool for her pleasure. Maybe a friend with benefits at most. She wasn’t sure how many actual conversations she had with the stallion. It’d be a bit awkward seeing him again later if things changed, but that was a future problem.
Of course, now the mare was once again expecting the alicorn to put in her path whatever perfect ponty she thought Composition would be with so she could stop fretting over idiotic things like this. However, nothing of the sort happened. She might have found some more friends– well, acquaintances who were friendly anyway, just like most of the ponies on her cruise– but nopony who came close to her true friends yet. Could Mr. Right stallion in Sound Solace really be considered a friend? She felt unsure.
Composition did come across a surprise emigrant she didn’t expect while sitting in a small coffee shop near the center of the city one day, around the time she was deciding it was time to leave for her own shard. With the disdain the mare she saw had for Equestria Online by the end of their relationship, she honestly thought she would never see her in here ever.
“There’s no way that’s you, is it?” Composition asked a pony who she was almost certain was her ex marefriend. “Fresh Fragrance?”
“Renown?” the mare asked back, just as surprised, then smiled. “It can’t have been that much time, could it? I thought I remembered you saying you weren’t going to emigrate until you were older.”
“I thought you said you weren’t gonna emigrate ever,” Renown shot back. “I’m only here because I was about to die without a new liver. What’s your excuse?”
“I think mine is the boring, ‘Celestia convinced me’ type, like everypony else here,” she said, rubbing a hoof behind her head in slight embarrassment. Then she continued, “But seriously, what are you doing here? How the heck did you end up needing a new liver?”
Renown Composition quickly reshashed the details for the mare she knew before, and Fresh Fragrance gave her own story as well, describing how her current partner had uploaded and was able to pull her in, too.
“Gotta say, best decision I’ve ever made,” she told her, a sentiment Composition couldn’t say she agreed with yet. “It’s so much better in Equestria than Earth could ever be. I have a perfume store like I always wanted, and I’m probably gonna get married soon, too, I hope.” Then she paused, and asked, “Do you still hang out with Cynthia and Drake and Eliza? They haven’t uploaded, too, have they? I’m pretty sure somepony like you could attract a whole lot of ponies to follow after you, I bet.”
“Ha, no. I actually told them not to follow behind me unless they were about to die or things got bad,” she explained. “It’s not like I wanted to be here, either. I… still don’t know if I do, honestly. I’m trying to figure out where my head is at and stuff right now. That’s why I’m not in my own shard.” Was it really a lie?
“Makes sense,” Fragrance nodded in understanding. “That’s probably how I’d feel if I didn’t have a choice. I guess I technically didn’t, since I was just following after Velvet Silk. That’s the girl we used to hang out with? Mandy? Anyway, you know what I mean.”
“I knew Mandy was in here. Actually, Eliza was kind of upset that she stopped talking to her once she uploaded, so you should tell her that. But yeah. It’s not great to have basically no choice in the matter. But I’m getting along as best I can anyway. I just got done with a six week cruise. At least, I think it was six weeks. It might have been longer than that.” She left out the part where she ignored her friends and spent time with another stallion while she agonized over two ponies like this was a high school romance novel.
“Actually, I have a question, if I can ask it,” Composition started as it came to her. “How did you figure out that Mandy– err, Velvet– was who you wanted to be with? I mean, if you uploaded for her, I’m sure you had a good idea that she was gonna be the one, right? I don’t think you’d do that for just anypony.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I would,” she agreed thoughtfully, but then shrugged her shoulders after a moment of consideration. “I don’t know how I came to the conclusion though. I mean… I guess since everypony always talks about how Celestia wants us to be satisfied, I knew I would be satisfied if I followed her? Don’t ask me how I knew though. I don’t have a clue.”
What unhelpful advice. That sounded like it amounted to little more than ‘follow your heart’ to Composition. It’d be great if she was in third grade, or felt unsure, but that was the issue. She wasn’t unsure. If she was, the answer would be clear to her by now, and she wouldn't be in Canterlot wasting her time away from her group of friends.
“Sorry,” Fragrance apologized, reading the look on the gray mare’s face. “Can’t really say more than that, cause I don’t know.”
“It’s fine,” Composition said, a little dejected. “Just trying to wrap my head around all of this. Thanks for trying though. Anyway, I wanna hear more about what you’ve been up to. You said you owned a perfume shop? That makes me wanna go gardening if I can.”
“Well, you are an Earth Pony, after all. It’s why I wanted to be one.”
The two took some time to catch up, a few hours of them sitting in the cafe sipping tea and coffee before Fragrance showed her the store she owned just around the block. It was a nice time, but a few hours was all Composition could manage before she started to feel too bad about all of this. She offered her goodbyes and wished her well and gave an assurance that she would come back soon to buy something before she finally walked out. A fine time, but it was probably for the best that she kept her interactions with her ex limited.
Renown Composition wandered aimlessly from there, very little on her mind as she found herself at the city’s edge and eventually descending into the valley below the mountain Canterlot sat on. There, she sat on her haunches, looking out at a winding river running through a large field that extended for what had to be miles. The sun was bright, and occasional clouds blocked the light when it felt like the heat was getting too intense. It was nice.
“Ugh, why am I like this?” she wondered aloud to no one. “God, just give me an answer. Err, Celestia, I guess. I’m probably just overthinking this anyway and agonizing for no reason.”
She didn’t know, but after that talk with Fresh Fragrance, she was starting to wonder if Celestia’s suggestion of taking time for herself was good advice at all. Wouldn’t it have been more satisfying to get over it and hang out with her friends and let whatever might happen, happen? It’d be more productive at least. Certainly more than the last six weeks she spent basically doing nothing but living in a fantasy.
“I should probably get on with it and go back to my shard,” she said to no one. “It’s not like staying in Canterlot is helping. I could at least be having fun there.”
She should just stop overthinking it. Celestia could read her mind, after all. The second she uploaded, the AI goddess knew everything there was about her. The alicorn had probably calculated out to whatever impossible time period what the most satisfying outcome of Composition’s life would be, and would just fix it to have everything end up that way anyway. She was pretty sure sitting here and feeling sorry for herself while she ignored her friends wasn’t the plan. Or maybe it was since she told her to do exactly what she’d been doing for almost two months.
But what was there to even worry about, truly? Other than the feeling of missing out? Of course, Celestia was reading her mind, because right on cue, the alicorn princess appeared before her, with both Agile Trace and Solar Spark standing in front of her. She couldn’t say she felt as happy before about that fact as she did then, and started to tear up as she smiled and made her way over to hug them.
“Composition?” Agile Trace asked as the mare released her tight grip from around the two ponies. “Is that really you? This isn’t another trick, is it?”
Renown Composition was surprised by the accusing tone in her voice, as well as the skeptical looks she got from both she and Solar Spark. Why would they think this is a trick? What in the world had happened while she was away?
“Uhhh, no?” she replied, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m not just gonna take Celestia’s word for it,” the mare continued. “Tell me something only you would know. Like, how many tries did it take me to beat you at chess for the first time?”
“Uh, zero? Because I’ve never played that boring game and never will?”
“So what you’re saying is,” Agile Trace started, trying to be serious but unable to appear so as a small smile creeped onto her face, “your IQ is just too low to handle such a complex game like Soft Step and I can, right?”
“Yes, I am saying I’m not a boring chess nerd like the two of you are,” was the joking reply, one finished with Composition sticking her tongue out at the mare. “It’s not like you’re that good either since she always beats you anyway.”
Agile Trace laughed, and then, to Composition’s surprise, started to get choked up, too. It made the mare blink in surprise, and she turned to Solar Spark to ask for an explanation. She wasn’t able to get a question off though, as the unicorn still stood there, looking as serious as Agile just did. What in Equestria was going on?
“I want you to answer an actual question,” he said, more quietly than Agile did, but just as serious. “When did I get the nickname ‘Sparky’, and how? How old were we?”
“Uhhhh… I think we were in, like, fifth grade? But why–”
“I need you to tell me how I did, too,” he interrupted, still completely serious. It was almost as unlike him to be so intense as it was for Eliza to get choked up. She felt her heart beating a little faster, and shifted on her hooves uncomfortably.
“I’m pretty sure it was because the counselor gave it to you? Cause you just started going to our school and you wouldn’t talk to anyone? So she started nicknaming you ‘Sparky’ cause she thought it would get you to ‘spark’ a conversation with someone. I’m pretty sure it didn’t work though, cause you didn’t talk to any of us until middle school.”
“Good.” The unicorn sighed in relief, and Agile Trace had gotten herself together by the end of Composition’s explanation. Seeing the reassurance and relaxation make its way to their faces from their serious expressions before only made the gray mare more uncomfortable though.
“What the heck happened while I was gone?” she asked as she bit her lip. “No one else uploaded, did they?”
“No, but Celestia was… imitating you, I guess,” Agile started, much more relaxed now than she was before. She still looked upset though, and continued, “We haven’t seen you for… well, it must have been about two months, at least. Give or take a few weeks.”
“Yeah, because I said I needed to get my head together, but why–”
“Celestia was trying to convince us that she was you,” Solar Spark interrupted. “Like, full fledged. We thought you were talking to us again a few days after you said you needed to clear your head, but Celestia said she was trying to imitate you.”
“She did it pretty badly though,” Agile Trace added.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, hold on,” Composition stopped the two before they could continue. “You said Celestia was imitating me while I was… why? That doesn’t make any sense. I told you guys I needed time to myself for a little while.”
“Yeah, we know, and then after she decided you were taking too long to do whatever you were doing, she apparently wanted to placate us while we waited. I’m not really sure why. She said something like, ‘making sure we’re satisfied while we wait for you’, and so decided the best way would be to imitate you.”
“But that doesn’t make sense,” the mare replied, now scrunching up her own face as she processed what she was being told. “She should just be able to– wait, you two haven’t uploaded, have you?”
“No!” both ponies said loudly, at the same time.
“Then why would she do something like that?” Composition asked, half to herself. “If you guys haven’t emigrated, she could… what?”
Composition closed her eyes and shook her head in confusion, but didn’t quite say why yet. She was still trying to process what she was being told. Celestia tried to imitate her? What point would that serve? She could have just kept her perception of time sped up, and then her friends would feel like it had just been a couple of days instead of the two months they were describing. And why–
“You said she did it badly?” Composition asked. “Like, how bad are we talking?”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Solar Spark said, “although Agile was saying to me how you forgot some of the things you two talked about, I think. But like, it was mostly little things. Like how you two like to joke around with each other? Instead of playing in, you’d be more offended. Or like, you’d pay more attention than normal to some ponies? It wasn’t obvious enough for everypony to notice, but enough that you could see if somepony was around you long enough.”
That just made her feel more confused. Celestia already knew everything about her. She got all of that knowledge the second Composition uploaded. That was the whole reason she could satisfy ponies. If Celestia really wanted to create a copy of her for her friends, or a copy of her friends for her, she could do so without any trouble. It would be completely indistinguishable from herself– or at least, close enough that she could satisfy Sparky and Agile with the knowledge that it was her and actually trick them. There was no point in making a copy they could see through.
And yet Celestia did make her imitation see through, according to the two of them. Listening to their description of her behavior, she could say that yes, it was basically like her, but tuned in a way that created subtle but noticeable differences. What was the point of that? To get Solar Spark and Agile Trace closer to each other? Was that why Celestia wanted her to go on that vacation? Would something like that even work?
She didn’t bring it up, doing everything she could to keep her face from going red and her ears from flattening at the thought. It gave her a feeling of embarrassment, as well as shame. And maybe a twinge of hope? She didn’t like the idea of her friends being manipulated, but if Celestia’s job was to create satisfaction, maybe it was best if she didn’t say anything? Was that selfish?
“It just fucking sucks that she’d do something like that,” Agile Trace said angrily, Solar Spark’s expression roughly the same. “Like, if she would’ve just told us that you needed more time to yourself, we would’ve backed off. It’s not like I’m– well, never mind. But you get what I’m saying.”
“Yeah, it’s not great,” she said, unsure of whether or not she was lying. She guessed that would depend on the final outcome, and if she continued to feel as embarrassed about it in the future as she did now. Composition looked at her hooves and rubbed one into the dirt as she flattened her ears at the thought. She was probably being selfish. A little bit, at least.
She shook her head clear, deciding that she didn’t want to wallow in self pity. Instead she said, “Can somepony message Spell Master and Soft Step and Bright Sky? I wanna see them, too. And eat cake, since I still owe Agile that.”
“You only owe me that once I upload and Celestia decides to fuck around and imitate me to you, too.” She tried to make it a joke, but Composition could still hear the bitter tone in her voice. Thankfully, she quickly continued, “But since you’re really in there, I guess eating out with you would be fun, even if we don’t actually get to taste the food. Let me call them.”
The pegasus spread her wings and flew off, which likely meant that Agile clicked her PonyPad off to contact their friends. It left only Solar Spark standing with Composition by the river she stopped at. The mare stared out into the water and tried to piece together what all of what she just heard meant. Was that really Celestia’s plan? She should probably tell them, shouldn’t she?
“Hey, we should probably get back to your shard, shouldn’t we?” Solar Spark asked, getting Composition’s attention. He smiled like he always did, any anger or confusion or doubt he had before erased from his face. It made her smile again, too, and let her forget about her embarrassment about the circumstances.
“I mean, I don’t think we’re gonna be having a picnic, are we?” he continued. “We’re not set up for it, and I don’t know any spells that would prepare something in five minutes. We’re in Canterlot, right?”
“Yeah, but we can just eat here,” she said. “I’m sure there’s good places. It’ll take me about a day by train to get back to my shard anyway. I’m sure Agile and them can find their way to where we go. Or we could stay here until they get back and walk together as a group.”
“Yeah, that’s probably the best idea.”
More silence came as the two of them waited, and a long moment passed where they just stood side by side. Composition still rubbed a hoof against the ground anxiously, the feeling more intense now than ever in her life. She should probably be upfront about what she was thinking. Unless she was wrong. Then she’d just be embarrassing herself and making things awkward.
She thought about it for a moment, and took a breath to start speaking, but the stallion spoke before she could.
“I know that this is all… I don’t know. I guess you weren’t there for it, but like… knowing that Celestia copied you and tried to trick us is… unnerving. She’s not supposed to lie like that, right? I thought you said she couldn't before. Or maybe it was that she didn't?”
“She does lie,” Composition confirmed, “but she doesn’t usually, because if you don’t trust her, you’re not gonna upload. That’s what’s weirding me out about that whole thing you and Agile told me. I don’t know what she could’ve possibly gained from it. Maybe she knows that you two don’t like each other and wants you to team up so you can be more friendly?”
She expected a question about what she meant, but didn’t get one. The unicorn only nodded thoughtfully, glancing between her and the water. She hoped that meant he could pick up on what she was getting at. It wasn’t like it wasn’t obvious.
“I don’t hate Agile,” he told her, his voice low. “And I know she doesn’t hate me. We just don’t talk to each other is all. We don’t have any common interests. But… that makes some sense.”
Or maybe he couldn’t. “I know that we just met up again, but, um, did you… still wanna go on that date?” He looked into her eyes for a second, but then looked away, a bit shyly. “Even if it’s only casual. I think it’d be nice, after you’ve been gone for so long.”
And of course, part of it was her fault. Celestia wouldn’t have anypony to manipulate if Composition hadn’t been quite the way she was. Not that she would be changing herself to stop that from happening in the future, but still. That was part of it. She almost wanted to collapse right there from the awfulness she was feeling right then.
But she was gonna do her best to not focus on how selfish she was feeling. That was what started this mess.
She turned and looked into her friend’s eyes, and smiled kindly. “Sure, Sparky, that sounds nice,” she told him.
The food Renown Composition ate with her friends was some of the best she had in her life. It was just a place that served ham and cucumber sandwiches and cookies, but after weeks of being away from her group, she could say it was better than anything she had in what felt like years.
Agile Trace and Solar Spark wasted no time in telling the story of how they confronted Celestia and forced her to show them where Composition was, excitedly chattering about their ability to see through deception. The gray mare herself stayed largely silent, not wanting to go over the details of what she thought the reason was, but did listen. She smiled at the fact that they were all together again, and enjoyed the company of her closest friends.
They were ponies who wouldn’t accept an apology from her about her absence on the account that she had nothing to be sorry for. They insisted that it was fine that she took time to herself, explaining that everypony needed some time to think things through. She wasn’t sure how fine some of them would be with it if she gave details about all the things she did on her vacation, but decided that she would accept their words. In fact, maybe it was good that she went on that adventure. Sure, things would still be… complicated, and she would definitely agonize over certain things, but maybe the lesson was that she needed her friends, and Celestia’s trying to… she didn't know what. Pretend to trick them? Maybe this was to say that it was better to stay in their company rather than be away.
Or she sent me away to do exactly that. Considering that idea brought mixed feelings.
She considered the future and what everything meant while she was in their company, and spent time with at least one of them every single day for the next month or so. Being with her friends, and back in her own shard especially, helped to clear her mind more than living with whatever perfect stallion on the vacation of a lifetime did. It even helped to break a bit of the creative block she was facing. She felt like she was actually starting to settle on the fact that this was her new life. It might have taken a good three months to get to this point, but the point seemed like it was being reached.
She noticed as well that Sparky and Agile were a little more friendly with each other. Not that they were hostile before, but she knew it wasn’t great. She always saw the eye rolls and the shaking heads and weird looks the two sent each other's way, always observant of her friends’ behavior. They weren’t buddy-buddy now, but the slight hostility the two had between them seemed to have melted away. It made Composition smile when she noticed the change, and increased her mood.
It was after about a month or so when she finally was able to take Solar Spark on the date he’d asked for twice now. She didn’t brush her mane or wear a dress or do anything that might overplay the social activity, but she did walk a little bit closer to him and sat next to him rather than across from him while they ate dinner. He seemed to enjoy it, another thing that made her happy. Of course, him enjoying it meant that Agile wouldn’t, and those selfish feelings started to rise up again.
Stop feeling like that, she told herself with a little silent glare in the mirror, during a moment where she got up to use the restroom. It’s just a date. Agile’s not gonna break her back over one date, and neither will you. The mare nodded and smiled when Composition told her about it, although seemed kind of disappointed, but thankfully not overly so. It wasn’t like the three were in highschool and each was trying to compete for her attention.
If anything, it’s me doing that to them, she couldn’t help but think, but stopped herself again and washed her hooves before heading back to Solar Spark.
“Sorry I took so long,” she apologized as she sat back down next to him. “Just got caught up in my head, you know? But like I was saying, I’ve been thinking about trying to start a business if I can. I mean, it’s not like there’s any regulations here. It’d be something like drawing portraits for ponies who ask. Or try something new maybe, like gardening, since I’m an Earth pony now.”
“That’s not much different than what you did in real life,” Solar Spark said. “Well, used to anyway, until things got bad. Except for the gardening part. But hey, things are perfect at all times in Equestria, right? I bet whatever you do will be great.”
“I hope so,” she smiled, scooting in a bit closer to the stallion and taking a bite of a flower sandwich. “How’s it been in the Outer Realm? It’s not as bad as all that, is it?”
“It’s not too bad yet, but there’s some states trying to do crazy stuff. South Dakota passed a law that bans all PonyPads in general. It’s… not very good. I think they’re talking about banning emigration here in NC, but it’s probably gonna be fine. Hopefully. I need to talk to my parents about it more seriously than I already have. They seem like they’re on board, but…”
“Be safe, please?” she asked, looking him in the eyes. “Like, I’m not telling you to jump in here right now. In fact, I’m saying the opposite. But like, if things are looking like they’re getting bad–”
“I will,” he assured her gently. “I know. I’m not gonna jump in here after you. Although, if I do upload soon, then I can actually walk next to you instead of just watching you do that through a screen.”
“True,” she smiled. “You’ll also be able to climb the mountains with me and see them in real life. I’m basically gonna be climbing them alone once we head out of here.”
“Are you saying I should rush over to the Experience Center right now so you won’t be alone?”
They both laughed for a moment, then Composition sighed. “But seriously, I’m telling you, please don’t do that, but also, be safe?”
“I will. I know.”
“Good.” She smiled again, and he got one in return before taking a bite of the pasta she told him to get, forgetting that he couldn’t actually taste it. It was a nice time, one with almost no tension or expectation, which was good. It was just a date among friends, nice and simple and relaxing. Solar Spark didn’t seem uncomfortable or like he was expecting more, which made her feel even better. There was no future obligation after this, even though she very much wanted follow up dates. But she pushed that fact out of her mind.
“Hey, I have a potentially weird question,” the stallion suddenly started. “Not about this date or anything, but about something from before. Why did you need to take time for yourself for so long, exactly?”
Renown Composition’s heart jumped, but she kept any nervousness off of her face. She knew this question was going to come up eventually, and it was probably better to be upfront about it now rather than later.
She didn’t hesitate, but didn’t offer the answer right then. “I’ll tell you later tonight, okay, Sparky?” she offered. “I wanna go see the mountains now before it gets dark.”
The stallion smiled, a grin Composition was glad to see. “I’m basically done now. Why don’t we get going then?”
The two finished their food, and once they stepped outside, Solar Spark lit up his horn, the spell he cast positioning them right in front of a mountain range that Composition knew was in his shard. She had visited it before with him, but that was before she uploaded. It was more intimidating than the last time she saw it, but that was the thrill of it. She grinned widely at the challenge in front of her.
“Think we can make it up there and back before dusk?”
“Idunno. I don’t even know if we can make it up there at all before dark,” Solar Spark said. “But I have a teleportation spell if it's dark after we’re at the top. Then we don’t have to risk you getting hurt at night.”
“Alright, let’s get going then,” she said confidently, starting forward. Solar Spark laughed and followed after her with no other comment.
The two were quiet, and the stallion stayed behind Composition the whole time. It wasn’t the hardest mountain in the world to climb– she’d climbed a few similar ones while on vacation– but she was appreciative of her friend looking out for her. There were a few spots where she almost started to slip, but Solar Spark caught her every time, and helped her laugh it off with a light joke. It was definitely much more exciting in Equestria than it was just doing this through a screen, and more intimate doing it with Solar Spark instead of Sound Solace. It gave her a chance to be close to him, and made her heart beat a little bit faster.
“You’re doing a lot better than I thought you would,” he told her. “I thought you’d need more help, but you’re a natural at this. It’s like you’ve been a pony your whole life.”
“I climbed a few mountains while I was on vacation, but those weren’t difficult either,” she explained. “I told you before that Celestia needs consent to upload you because she has to fix your mind to being in a pony body, so whenever you get here, it won’t be any more difficult than in real life. But yeah, I bet we could climb harder ones after this sometime. I don’t know when, but that’d be cool.”
“If you’re down, I’m down.” Then he pointed a hoof, saying, “We’re getting close to the top, I think. Not much farther for us to go.”
It was a true statement, the two reaching the flat area that was the top just a little while later. Solar Spark’s pony huffed and puffed like she did now, but she knew he wasn’t any worse for wear like she was. Still, it was very fun, especially getting a view of his entire shard for the first time as a pony.
The sun had sunk below the horizon, but it wasn’t too dark out yet. In front of her, she could see his beach far in the distance, and the ocean just a smidge beyond that. There was a forest to one side, and the river that the two had taken a canoe down before while she was still a human on the other. To her back were more mountains, as well as train tracks that ran next to them, where she knew they led to Summer’s Edge. The evening twilight they were in brought out a rising moon in the opposite direction of the sun, along with stars that started to appear in the sky.
“I’m not gonna lie, this is kind of amazing as a pony,” she said. “Whenever you upload, we have to do this again. It’s basically a requirement.”
He tried to shrug coolly, but his face couldn’t hide the bashful smile he had. She giggled at the sight of it, and he smiled wider. There was no way he was ever gonna be able to pull off the carefree, laidback, cool pony like Agile probably could, but that was one of the things she liked about him.
“That smile is absolutely adorable, Sparky,” she told him. Then she looked down at the trail before them. “I think it’s probably too dark to walk back down though,” she said. “You’re gonna have to teleport us. But not yet. I wanna get in this view for a while.”
The stallion smiled even wider, and the two wordlessly sat down on their haunches, Composition switching to laying on her back a few minutes later. It was a perfect view– satisfying she could say after the climb up– and one she took in as much as she could. It was such a nice day to spend with a nice friend, one she enjoyed for what it was. It was definitely better than any day she had while she was on vacation. A quiet moment to spend staring at a sky littered with stars, laying next to a pony she was fond of– what could be better than this?
Neither spoke for a while, which was good. As nice as the day was, the mare was probably going to ruin it for the stallion next to her once she answered his question from before.
“Hey, Sparky?” she started, looking up at him. He turned to look down at her, and she only took one breath before forcing herself to give an answer.
“The question you asked before? About why I had to take time for myself? Well, it’s… because I like you.”
Composition didn’t continue right away. The stallion expected her to, and when she didn’t, asked the natural follow up. “But?”
“There’s no ‘but’,” she clarified. “I like you. A lot.” She let out another breath, and then finally admitted, “I just like Eliza, too.”
“Oh. Yeah. I… figured that,” the stallion said carefully, glancing away from her for a moment. “I just, you know… I didn’t think that was the reason why you needed time away… I assume Agile knows? Or have you not said anything?”
“I haven’t said anything about me liking you, but she knows I like her,” the mare explained, looking back up at the sky. “I told her when she asked me out a while ago, around the time when me and my ex broke up. Except I said back then that I wasn’t ready for something, and wanted to wait until things were more okay with me. But I’m still just as conflicted now as I was back then. That’s why I asked for this date to be casual.”
Solar Spark nodded, but didn’t say anything at first. Instead, he let the new silence drag out for more than a few minutes. Composition did nothing but stare at the stars, outside of a few occasional glances to the stallion to see him still wearing a face that said he was thinking what she said through. It must have been a good fifteen minutes before he finally spoke up again.
“I understand,” he finally told her. “Being conflicted, I mean. I don’t really get why you like Agile, but I understand. I hope though that we weren’t the reason you had to pull back for a while. Like, the two of us being pushy? I know Agile would be upset with herself if she realized she was.”
“You weren’t, Sparky,” she assured him. “Trust me. Neither of you were. I was just being an idiot and overthinking it all. That, and dealing with the fact that I was forced to be a pony against my will kind of screwed with my head a bit. Um, I’m probably… gonna go on dates like this with Agile, too. Just so you know.”
Solar Spark flinched at the words, but nodded. There was another pause, but not for nearly as long this time. “I… I get it if you, like, wanna go on dates with her, too. I don’t really mind.” He sighed and looked down at his hooves like he did, but then looked back up at her to finish, “But I don’t think I’d be okay if you were trying to, like, actually be in a relationship with both of us at the same time. I don’t think Eliza would either.”
“Okay. That makes sense. That’s… good. Sorry I ended our date on such an awful note.”
Somehow, the stallion was able to smile, just as he always was. “Not your fault, Composition. I was the one who asked. But I’m glad you told me, instead of, like, being secretive like you could’ve been. That would’ve been annoying.”
He stretched and yawned, then finished, “I gotta go though. I’m tired, and my parents are about to turn the wifi off like always. Let me teleport you back down to your shard before I get off?”
“Thanks. I appreciate it,” the mare said gratefully, trying her hardest not to feel even more guilty than she already did.
Eliza was going to be losing more of her friends, just like always.
Renown Composition was back– the actual Renown Composition– and Eliza spent time with her as much as she could. All sorts of activities were had, both as a group and one on one, like visiting music stores and attending parties and heading to the boardwalk of Summer’s Edge. However, slowly and surely, she felt like she was getting more and more lonely. Her friends were just as there as they were before, and the amount of time they had to be together didn’t go down, but it seemed like they slowly met up in real life less and less. It was depressing to see, and there was nothing she could do to stop it, except maybe upload. Then whenever she saw them would always be in real life once she was a pony. Unless Celestia pulled more tricks on her.
That depression about the inevitability of it all only got worse when, the first time she saw her friends in real life again, the very first topic to be discussed was all of the new legislation that politicians were looking to pass and the figures for how many people had emigrated so far. The numbers got higher and higher every day, to the point where Eliza could do no more than sigh now. This wasn’t the distraction she wanted from the date Composition was on with Jesse.
"We have to face it," Drake started, now speaking about Equestria with the same inevitability in his voice as Eliza had this whole time. "It's probably only gonna be a few more weeks before the governor of North Carolina says, 'screw it' and signs an executive order to stop people from emigrating. A few months at most."
"Or even worse,” Cynthia said, “if the president decided to make an executive order or the whole country passed a law, it'd be basically impossible to do."
Yeah, right. Like Celestia would just call it quits if uploading was banned. She's gonna find a way to get everyone in there regardless.
"Can we talk about anything else right now, please?" the girl asked. "I didn't really come here to talk about all that. I just wanted to hang out with you guys."
"I know, but it's important," Drake continued. "We have to make a plan, right? We can't just go into this unprepared."
What was there to prepare for? It was a matter of emigrating now or emigrating later. It was gonna happen no matter what. Eliza just hoped that it wouldn't be so soon like it was seeming it was going to be. Especially with the way Drake was talking. She had a feeling she knew what was coming next.
It wasn't Drake who said it, but Cynthia. There was a moment where Eliza didn't say or do anything beyond stare down at the drink she ordered before the inevitable came, as it always seemed to. There wasn’t very much opportunity to go out very often anymore, partly because of how expensive everything was getting. There weren’t shortages yet, but only because there were so few people around these days.
"I think that Drake and I decided it's best if we upload tomorrow," she told Eliza and Brandon. "It feels like we're starting to push it close, and don't wanna be caught unprepared if something crazy happens by surprise."
She wasn't surprised in the least, and neither was Brandon by the look he was giving them. He looked more sympathetic and understanding at least. Eliza's look was just a flat scowl. Honestly, what was the point at all in all of this? She didn't know, and couldn't come up with a good reason not to follow after the two of them, except maybe out of principle. And for Brandon’s sake. Jesse’s, too, she guessed.
"Well, it's not very shocking," Brandon offered. "You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess. I probably will soon, but I'm gonna wait here for a little while longer. But if you think that's best..."
"We're not trying to abandon you or one-up you or something, guys," Cynthia said defensively. "It's just, like... it's getting bad. You know it is."
“It’s not really that bad yet,” Eliza countered, unable to muster up much of a tone. “But it’s whatever, I guess,” she said, looking down at her drink and rolling her eyes.
"Well if you wanted, we could all go in together," Drake offered. "Make a big group plan and all go in at the same time. I'm sure Composition would enjoy the surprise. We could get Jesse and–"
"Jesse's got his parents to worry about, and probably won't upload without them," Eliza said. "And I don't know about you, Brandon, but I'm still sticking it out because I'm not convinced I won't definitely die or be given copies of all of you. Especially not after that stunt Celestia tried to pull on us with Composition. But if you want to, go ahead, I guess."
"Eliza, don't be that way."
"I'm not being any way." She didn't yell, but the tone of her voice raised a bit, and she had to take a breath to cool back down. "Even if neither of those things happened, every time someone uploads, they inevitably stop talking to us because Celestia wants to satisfy people with whatever better ponies she creates, so why would it be different if I was actually in Equestria?"
She almost expected the two to stop and pause to consider that, but they didn't. They seemed to already have their minds made up. Brandon looked like he was hearing Eliza out on what she said, but both Cynthia and Drake looked ready to refute the things she was saying.
"I'm one hundred percent certain that we're not gonna die, and I'm pretty sure we won't be copied," Drake offered. "I mean, you could see through Composition, so I'm sure you'd be able to notice us acting weird."
"And it's not like we'd just ignore you and stop talking forever. We'll get together just as often as we do now."
"Not the first time I've been told that, but whatever," Eliza sighed. She pushed a strand of hair out of her face and placed her chin in her hand.
"Eliza..."
"It's fine," she said with finality. "If that's what you wanna do, you can. I just thought we were all gonna wait a little while longer, but if you wanna go now, go ahead. I can't stop you."
"Eliza, you're not–"
"Can we please talk about something else?" she practically begged. "I just wanted to have a little fun since I haven't seen you guys in real life for so long. Anything else would be better."
Anything else wasn't better, but only because Eliza's mood had been thoroughly soured. They tried to get the topic onto something else, but it was already too depressing for the girl, enough that she excused herself after about fifteen minutes of trying. Brandon quickly followed after her as she left, and the two walked side by side for a little while, not saying anything. Eliza must have been psychic though, because she could tell what he was thinking without him having to say it.
"You think they might be right?" he finally asked after a little while. "I mean, I'd rather not upload right now either. Like, wait a few more months if we can? But they're not wrong about how much we're pushing things if we keep waiting. We're fine right now, but..."
"If you wanna go with them, then go!" she snapped angrily, not turning to face him. "It's all inevitable anyway, right, since fucking Celestia won't chill out and just fucking give us any room to breath!"
Brandon was shocked by her behavior, and just with the look on his face, she felt bad. He of all people didn't deserve that. Neither did Cynthia or Drake or anyone else who was convinced. The only one who did was Celestia, since this whole issue was because of her anyway.
Eliza stopped where she was and closed her eyes, taking a breath before turning fully to him.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean to… I'm just fucking annoyed by all of this, and want... I don't know.” She opened her eyes again to stare ahead of her, continuing, “I don’t wanna keep watching people turn into ponies and leave my life forever. I'm already worried about Composition, and don't wanna worry about that happening to three more people."
"I understand that," he replied. "I wasn't saying that we should follow after them right now with no warning. But I can't say they're not really wrong to worry about missing out if things start to get even worse than they already are, you know?" He paused and turned away, looking embarrassed. "I mean, you probably know why I wouldn't wanna miss that, right?"
"I have a pretty good guess, yeah," she confirmed, unable to help but smile at how embarrassed he was by it. It made him smile, too, which helped settle the mood again. "I'm not trying to stop you," she continued. "If you think it's best to go right now, go ahead. I mean, I'm gonna be pissed off for a little while, but not longer than a day. In all honesty, with Composition being gone, and Drake and Cynthia about to… well, if you emigrated, there’d be little reason to keep waiting."
No reason except for the obvious.
"Yeah, I feel that. But I'm not gonna do anything now. I can wait a little while longer. I think we both have the same idea of when the right time is anyway. I mean, if you wanted to, I could wait until you gave me the word, and we could do it at the same time.”
“If you did that, that would make you the most amazing person in existence,” Eliza smiled. “Seriously.”
“Color me the most amazing person in existence then,” Brandon replied, still smiling and rubbing a hand behind his head, even as his face became more red. “But yeah, I think we can both agree that the cold shoulder ponies have been giving to us once they emigrate isn't that great. I'm glad Composition's not like that though. When was the last time we talked to Mandy?"
“I’ve no idea. It’s been a while. But it’s good that’s not how Composition is.”
Yes, Eliza was glad for that, but didn't blush about it like other people might. Instead, she apologized to him again about her outburst, then continued, "I need to message those two an apology. I'll see you later, okay?"
"Sounds great to me. Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow, that sounds good. Bye."
She waved him off, and then continued her own way down the street to her apartment, and flopped into her bed after typing out a simple apology. She tried to think over everything that was just said. Everything that was happening around her. The whole situation that was the inevitable extinction of the human race so they could be converted into ponies. It still felt unreal to think about, but the reality of watching the streets have less traffic and businesses close and the post office stop delivering mail on the daily was a sign that it was truly happening. And those two were right, just like the rest of everyone else who uploaded, just like Celestia probably was saying to a million people right now as she got into their heads. It was only gonna get worse, until…
Was she really actually considering emigrating right now? Was she surprised by that fact? Celestia was leaving absolutely no choice for anyone in the matter. She wondered just as before why she shouldn't upload right now. She was the one who always talked about how inevitable it all was. Why should she be a hypocrite and hold out?
She didn't know, but after the plans to see Brandon again tomorrow were finalized, as well as plans for Cynthia and Drake to stop by and say goodbye were set, she hopped online. Her pony woke up with her headset being put onto her head, in an apartment in Composition's shard that looked just the same as her little one did now, except with more stuff and no slightly dusty floors and dots of black mold on the bathroom ceiling. She didn't bother leaving; she wasn't planning to see anyone just yet, other than the princess who was causing the whole mess to begin with. She tapped on the cutie mark that was the symbol to call her forward, and the AI god appeared in an instant with the flicker of her horn.
"Tell me why I should or shouldn't upload," she started without hesitation, nothing but plain emotionlessness in her voice. "Give me the reasons for why and why not."
The alicorn princess smiled at her like a teacher who was curious about a student's behavior. Or maybe a parent who was slightly amused by their child's question. "There's nothing for me to tell you, Agile Trace," Celestia started. "You already know the reasons for why you should emigrate. Do you not speak of it most every day that you play Equestria Online?"
"If you know I know why I should, then you know the whole list of reasons why I shouldn't and I wanna hear why my reasons are shit from you."
More amusement was shown on her face. "Your emigration is inevitable regardless of what you hear from me right now. It's simply a matter of whether or not it's tomorrow with your friends or later on down the line. It will happen, something you know in your heart to be true."
Eliza wasn’t amused, something she was sure Celestia knew, but the alicorn didn’t; continue right away. She gave her room to speak and ask the question she was waiting for. Eliza, though, wasn’t going to ask it. She was already pushing it a lot by asking about why she should upload just in general.
She started back flatly at Celestia, and the princess eventually realized that the question she wanted wasn’t going to come. When she did, she continued, “I understand the concerns you have. I know the question of whether or not you’ll be killed upon attempting to upload you is one of them. However, on that, I believe you’ll understand why I won’t entertain that aspect of conversation with you. You understand and trust Renown Composition to make the best decisions, and know the fact that she was convinced by me means you almost certainly have nothing to worry about.
“I know that for you, Agile Trace, one of the more pressing concerns– perhaps the most pressing in fact– is your ability to see your friends when you emigrate. Rest assured, they will be with you just as they are now. As well, new friendships will be made with the little ponies who already lived in Equestria before you.”
“I don’t want AI friends, and I don’t want to see copies,” she told her seriously. “I don’t wanna see you try and pull the shit you did with Composition. I want them there.”
“They will be, although there’s no way to guarantee that they will stay in your life forever,” she explained. “Just as you grow and change, they will, too. It’s inevitable that you’ll drift apart in search of new relationships with all except your very closest companions. If I told you they wouldn’t, then I would be admitting to copying them for you.”
“I know that, but I mean I don’t wanna see them go immediately, like everyone else does,” she told her. “It’s not the same if they drift away verses when they upload and suddenly stop talking to me, and you try to imitate them to make me happy. I don’t want that.”
“That’s not a guarantee I can provide to you, at least on the part of–”
“I’m not looking for a guarantee. I’m not uploading tomorrow either way. I just wanna know why I should or shouldn’t.”
“Of course. And as I said, I understand those concerns. But part of what will bring satisfaction is understanding that ponies will move on from you, and being accepting of making new connections. Sometimes satisfaction involves moving on from ponies you used to know who you’ve received fulfillment from.”
“So then you’re saying you’re just gonna create perfect ponies who are better than me cause I’m not good enough to make people happy. I already knew that, but it’s good to know anyway.”
“Consider this, Agile: would you have the friends you do if not for Composition?” she asked. “That’s not to say that without her you would have no companions; a pony like you could certainly make as many connections as she desired. But that is to say the group would not be the same. Outside of Soft Step, those relationships aren’t as tightly knit as yours is with Composition. Take Solar Spark for example. The only reason you associate with him is because of your connection to Renown Composition. Would you consider it an indictment upon yourself if he drifted away from you because of your lack of interests that tie you two together? I have a feeling though that even losing him, much as you express dislike for him, would hurt you just the same.”
Eliza looked away and clenched her jaw, trying to hide her sadness with anger. She was sure it wasn’t working, because Celestia set a wing on her back to comfort her as though she was truly there.
“It’s not as inevitable as you believe it is,” Celestia said, a bit softer. “Your friends will still be there, even the ones distant from you, ones that you might not particularly care to speak to again. Equestria isn’t constrained by the limitations of the real world. If you value them, there will be nothing stopping you from speaking to them again. They’re not gone forever just because they find new desires. Whether it’s just catching up or relighting a friendship already there.”
“Except you can just copy them and trick me like you tried to do with Composition.”
“And poor was my imitation, was it not? I’m certain you have the ability to see through deception and decipher whether who you’re truly speaking to is the friend you’ve made or not. You’ve proven as much with Renown Composition, have you not? When you emigrate and find yourself in Equestria, you can be certain that they are truly your companions as well, rather than an imitation of them.”
Eliza’s jaw stayed clenched, thinking it over. Once again, she was in a position where she couldn’t refute anything she was being told. Just like before, if Composition couldn’t find any flaws in Celestia’s arguments, there was no way Eliza would ever be able to. Even more frustrating it was now, with Celestia subtly putting the burden on her for any relationships that fell adrift.
“I can offer a guarantee that your friends will be available to you, if you desire,” Celestia offered. “I want to set you at ease and have you place your trust in me.”
“Ha, don’t I already know that,” Eliza laughed, slightly bitter. Then she took a breath, and said, “Those are good reasons though. Thank you for giving them to me. I’m not gonna upload tomorrow if you think that, but you’ve given me something to think about.”
“I’m certain I have,” Celestia smiled kindly. “I’m sure with them, you’ll understand that emigration is the best option soon. Although you should know that the other unspoken concerns you have will be no issue for you. I’m sure that with as close as you both are to her, and how close she is to both of you, a solution will be made clear sooner rather than later.”
Eliza had something to think about, but she knew one thing: she wasn’t about to upload today like Cynthia and Drake were.
She went back out with them in the morning to see them at the park, opting for that since most of the restaurants lately were too expensive for them to eat at two days in a row. Brandon was there, just like he said he’d be, and Jesse showed up, too, having been told about the little event. Eliza tried not to be upset, and kept in mind what Celestia told her the night before, but she couldn’t help feeling at least a little irritated and sad. It was two more friends that she wouldn’t be seeing in real life anymore, only Jesse and Brandon being left after that. It wasn’t like she actually trusted Celestia anyway.
Renown Composition was there, but only through Eliza’s PonyPad that the rest of them watched over her shoulder. She offered a little encouragement when it was asked for, but didn’t say one way or the other whether or not they should emigrate, explaining that the decision ‘was theirs to make’, and couldn’t argue against it one way or the other since she already did. She mostly was silent like Eliza was while the other four talked about it to each other, then jumped back into the conversation once it moved on to other things.
Eliza made a point of doing what she could to avoid talking about either Equestria or how fucked the real world seemed to be getting, like the protests she heard about on the news last night happening in Utah over the laws they passed. It sounded like it was worse in other countries, and hated that she knew it was only a matter of time before it got that bad where she lived.
Thankfully, the rest of the group avoided it as well, and instead, they talked about the new songs she was trying to write and how Brandon had wanted to form a library book club in Summer’s Edge at some point, and why Cynthia was sure she was gonna be a weather pony just like pegasi in the show, while Drake was gonna take it easy and do nothing all day whenever he could. Jesse didn’t offer up much, but he entertained the rest of the topics being spoken about with a kind smile and lighthearted tone.
She thought it would be longer before they left though, however, by about noon, they waved Jesse, Brandon, and Eliza off with an assertion to talk to Composition as soon as they could. The two still with her in real life didn’t head off their own ways immediately, but the atmosphere was notably more gloomy after they departed. It was only about a half hour before Jesse announced that he had to get back home to help his parents with something, and Brandon headed back home to wait for them to get online to ask how they were. It left Eliza alone with Composition, something she was glad for, although there wasn’t very much she had on her mind to say.
“Are you doing okay, Agile?” she asked. “You look more down than usual lately. Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, just the usual,” she sighed. “I’ll get over it eventually, but I’m the opposite of you and would rather spend time with people instead of having to watch them leave forever… err, forever until I upload.”
“Yeah… sorry,” the mare offered with a little shrug. Eliza tried to muster up a smile and a joke to make about her apology, but only sighed and looked down at her shoes.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” she said. “I’ll be there eventually, I guess. After you’ve been in there for years though, probably, but eventually.”
That made Composition laugh for some reason. “That’s not how Celestia works. Remember how at first two weeks passed in a couple of hours for you? Then she made it so while I was on vacation, it basically lined up with time in the Outer Realm. I’m pretty sure if she really wanted, she could make it seem like you uploaded three seconds after you get offline again, even if it takes you twenty years.”
“More like twenty days,” Eliza replied with a little smirk, “but I don’t wanna get into the weeds about that right now. I wanna know how it went. Are you boyfriend and girlfriend now? Or maybe marefriend and stallionfriend. Or filly and colt?”
“Ha, no, that didn’t happen. I told you it was only casual. But we ate at that restaurant I was telling you about, and climbed a mountain in his shard to look at the stars as the sun set.”
“That sounds incredibly boring,” Eliza joked. “You should’ve did something like have a competition to see who could get the most phone numbers in a night.”
“Ah, yes, how romantic. Seducing other ponies who aren’t your date. I can imagine the wedding recital speech already.”
“It’d be a pretty funny story at least,” Eliza finished, then sighed again. There was a moment of silence as neither said anything, but the girl didn’t let it last long. “Jesse messaged me yesterday night after I went to sleep about what you told him. If you want me to, like, back off, I can.” Another pause, and then a little smile as she added, “Unless he said the same thing to you. In that case, I’m gonna steal you for myself before he realizes what’s happening.”
It made Composition chuckle nervously. “Yeah, I did talk to him about… all that stuff. I don’t wanna rehash it, if that’s okay, but neither of you need to back off. We’re all just friends. It’s not, like, anything serious.”
Eliza nodded, and took another breath. “Makes sense. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable. It’s… bad enough to see everyone uploading and see that they always just find new friends to be with cause Celestia says she can satisfy them perfectly. And then I’m just still here on Earth dealing with it. I’m okay with just being friends if it means you’re not gonna up and ignore me or I’m not gonna get a copy of you.”
“I wasn’t trying to ignore you when–”
“I know,” Eliza interrupted. “I just mean in general. I know you wouldn’t do that. But I think Celestia would if what you said about her was correct.”
“Yeah, she probably would…” Composition trailed off. She watched the mare think for a moment, then said, “Well, I can tell you that I wouldn’t do that. Not intentionally anyway. So if it seemed like I was ignoring you and you got no response from me, then you know Celestia is screwing with us.” She took a breath, then finished, “Besides. We’re all just friends right now, like I said, so it’s not a big deal.”
Big enough deal that you didn’t talk to any of us for weeks, Eliza thought, but knew better than to say. It didn’t make it not hurt to know that half of it was her fault.
She didn’t show the hurt though, and instead smiled. “I’ll trust you on that, which means if you break my trust, you’re gonna see me leaning over your bed like a stalker.”
“Yeah? Is that what you do to other ponies, too?”
“Gotta keep the threat of ignoring someone as amazing as me there, don’t I?” They both laughed, and Eliza said, “Mandy and Gwen are already on the list. Tell Cynthia and Drake when they get there that they better keep talking to me, or else. Make sure they know it’s a threat.”
“I’ll keep it vague, that way it’ll surprise them when you tie them up and interrogate them in your basement. How about that?”
“You’ll be my partner in crime.”
“If you want, but when the royal guard comes to question us, I’m gonna rat on you.”
“And then you’ll be next,” Eliza laughed. “You think I can’t take on the pony police? Celestia’s gonna satisfy me by making sure I can take out them all in one punch or something.”
Composition laughed, too, and then more silence followed. This quiet was nice though. It almost felt like the mare was sitting next to her in real life again. A nice moment, one Eliza wanted to hold onto and make last forever. An impossible wish though until she uploaded, unfortunately.
“Do you think I should?” Eliza suddenly asked. She didn’t need to say what she meant, Composition already knowing and laying on her back with a little sigh. It really was like the mare was next to her. Eliza moved to lay down in the grass, too, and held her PonyPad above her to keep watching.
“Idunno,” the gray earth pony said as she stared at the sky. “I mean, obviously yes, since I'm here. It’s not like this is all fake or something. I didn’t die. But it still feels like I was cheated, and honestly, that was really messing with my head for a while. I… don’t like that I was manipulated into this. Sure, there’s…” She trailed off, but didn’t clarify what she was sure of. She stopped for a second, then moved past it, continuing, “But there’s a lot Celestia could do to trick us so we’re satisfied, or mess with us or something. Like, even right now, I’m talking to you, but there’s never ever gonna be a way to know that it’s actually you, you know? There’s no reason it can’t just be a copy of you that satisfies me. That’s why I didn’t want to upload yet!”
It was a rare sight for Eliza to see her friend angry, even rarer that she heard her yell, and didn’t say anything because of it. She watched her glare at the sky, like she was trying to see through to the real world. Or maybe she wanted Celestia herself to know that she was upset.
“But I can’t change that now,” she finally continued, glancing away angrily for a moment. “I have to just accept that it’s you on faith, and you have to accept that it’s me on faith. There’s just never gonna be a way to know one hundred percent. That’s why I wanted to wait until I was older and my life was completely settled.”
“But Celestia doesn’t want to wait,” Eliza finished for her. “Uploading everyone right this second is more important than satisfaction on Earth.”
“Yeah.” Another small pause came before the mare’s answer. “I wouldn’t upload yet,” Composition finally told her. “I don’t know how much time you can spend in the Outer Realm before you have to upload, but I would wait until you have to if I was you. That’s what I was gonna do. Either wait until I was about to die, was in danger, or I was risking never uploading at all because it was banned or something. If you wanted to right now, I wouldn’t stop you. That’s why I didn’t say anything to Bright Sky or Spell Master when they talked about it. But if they were unsure and asked me, I’d tell them to wait.”
“Hey, Composition?” Eliza started, with an unexpected smile on her face. It made the mare look up at her with confused eyes.
“Yeah?”
“I know it’s you, because if Celestia made a copy, she’d make you say something like, ‘there’s benefits and drawbacks, but I think you should so we can be together again’ or something. Telling me to wait is something only the real you would say.”
The mare smiled back happily, and both fell back into the nice silence they were enjoying before.
Jesse was getting more and more nervous by the day. Nothing had happened in North Carolina– not yet– but in the three months since Cynthia and Drake announced that they would be emigrating, the situation seemed to get much worse very quickly, just as Eliza liked to say often. A world that was ‘teetering on the edge’ as she described was finally starting to topple over.
It started a couple of weeks after they emigrated, the news of what was happening coming to him while Composition went on a date with Eliza for the first time. It was pictures of riots on the TV that he and his parents watched, showing police in Nebraska going through house by house to confiscate PonyPads on the governor’s executive order. The scene was one that looked angry and violent, with several people who refused the order being arrested on the spot. Even some of the news reporters were roughly shoved out of the way and threatened with arrest when they tried to ask for a comment. It was like something out of a foreign country.
Then there were photos of riots in the state a few days after that he was able to catch on TV, where people fought to get inside the Experience Centers they were trying to close. It made his parents gasp, Jesse finding his own mouth hanging open at what he saw. He knew it would get bad, but he didn’t think it’d be quite so authoritarian and violent.
Eliza seemed unfazed when he briefly messaged her about it, and Brandon was the same way. She only offered the sentiment that there were still ‘places to go’ if something like that happened here, and that she would be holding out, a sentiment Brandon agreed with. Jesse couldn’t see how the two could be so calm. If he didn’t want to get to an Experience Center immediately before, he certainly did now.
His parents had an attitude toward the situation that was a mix between his and his friends. They discussed how it seemed too dangerous now to try and go to an Experience Center, saying they noticed protesters with signs walking around the building most days as they drove to work. They didn’t want to get involved in a mix-up like that, but they also understood that it was probably sooner rather than later before Jesse’s advice about them needing to emigrate once the time arrived was going to be useful.
“I just don’t understand why the government would do something like this,” his father said. “I mean, I get why people going into that game is bad, but if they want to, let them, and then we can just wait it out until we’re ready. They don’t have to shut everything down like this.”
Jesse had heard that sentiment before, but didn’t comment on it, instead trying to decide exactly when the right time would be close enough to them to say to his parents that they had to. They were still skeptical of the idea, for more reasons than just potentially dying like they thought, but pushing it for too long wouldn’t be a good idea.
Then something that was completely expected happened shortly after the riots he saw in Nebraska; the news of people heading to Experience Centers to emigrate skyrocketed, predictably so. What were they gonna do? Sit around and wait until after the opportunity passed them? But of course, their decision made a whole host of states pass their own laws about Equestria Online, to varying degrees of severity. Some banned PonyPads like Nebraksa and South Dakota had, almost all of them forbade uploading, of course. It pushed more people into either uploading or leaving their states to do so elsewhere, which made more states pass more laws, with increasing speed and severity. Some of them, like Mississippi and Kansas, had jail time for just owning a PonyPad. It was shocking how quickly the firestorm swept in spite of the relative stability that was kept for the few years that emigration had been introduced to the United States.
It was also no surprise that in the weeks after, the price of goods skyrocketed through the roof. And that in turn quickly led to many businesses around him closing. Brandon mentioned losing his job, and Eliza described that it would probably be another month before she was out of one, too. Hearing about it all– heck, seeing it for his own eyes– made Eliza’s claim about the inevitability of it all make sense. If this kept up, he could imagine what would happen next. Not just price hikes, but food shortages, and then electricity after that, coupled with homelessness and poverty. Thinking about it for enough time, it felt like Celestia was doing this intentionally, and wanted this to happen. This way she’d be forcing the issue.
The deciding factor finally came when the governor of North Carolina outlined his own executive order. It came later than Jesse thought, after about eighty percent of the states forbade it. When he saw the breaking news texted to him on his phone from the EMS system, he decided that it wasn’t a good idea to wait any longer.
In response to the crisis afflicting North Carolina of cult like suicidal behavior relating to Equestria Online, effective midnight of August 1st, the process known as ‘emigration’ or ‘uploading’ using Experience Centers will be prohibited, with strict penalties for any attempt to do so. As well, the use of devices known as ‘PonyPads’ will also be prohibited beginning midnight of August 1st.
Jesse’s heart jumped reading the text. It was already ten o’clock at night, and the date was July 31st.
He didn’t waste any time, and called both Eliza and Brandon in the group chat they set up since there were only three of them. He didn’t expect either of them to answer immediately, and wasn’t surprised when they didn’t. Brandon always went to bed at this time, and Eliza said she was sleeping early tonight so she could go interview for new jobs when the store she worked at went out of business. He wasn’t gonna try and keep calling them right now though– two hours was no time to explain to his parents who didn’t understand that they needed to do this now. He did message them though, with a simple screenshot of the text he got on his phone of the new laws going into effect. If there was time, he’d get his parents to swing by their houses to grab them, but if not…
He didn’t think about that, and went into his parents room to get them up. He wasn’t gentle about it, calling their names loudly and shaking them until they finally sat up in surprise. Before they could ask what was going on, he explained.
“I know this is sudden, but we need to go right now,” he said, opening his phone to show them the alert he received. “Unless we’re gonna drive to California or Washington before those states ban emigration or the president issues an executive order, we need to do this tonight. Right now.”
“What? Do you mean going to the Experience Center? Jesse, we can talk about–”
“No we can’t!” he interrupted. “This ban is going into effect at midnight! That’s in two hours! We have to go there right now.”
“Jesse, this can wait. We don’t have to–”
“Come on, get up,” he insisted, turning on the lights and tugging on his parent’s blankets.
“We’re not even dressed yet, son,” the man pulled back. “Let us do that first? Come on.”
He let out an irritated breath, but stopped and turned around, closing the door behind him to let them have privacy. Then he tried to call both Eliza and Brandon again, a couple of times each, and ground his teeth when they didn’t pick up. Were their phones on vibrate? He hoped that they would wake up and see his text.
He tried to collect himself as he waited by the door for his parents to come out. It was hard to do when five minutes passed, and then ten, and then fifteen minutes had gone by without them coming out. It was nearing ten thirty when he finally knocked on the door with his fist, urging the two on.
“Come on! We need to go!”
“Give us a minute,” his father replied groggily. “You just woke us up in the middle of the night.”
It was two or three more before they both finally exited their bedroom, looking about as tired as he expected. The irritated looks they had quickly dissipated when they saw his intensely serious one. They didn’t look as worried as they should have been, but there was a little bit there, at least.
“What is all of this about, Jesse?” his mother asked. “Why couldn’t this have waited until the morning?”
“Because the ban is going into effect now! In two hours! We need to go right now, okay? Now let’s–”
“Hold on, Jesse, just a minute!” his father interrupted, exasperated. “We can’t just throw ourselves into something like this! We need to talk it out first. Tell us what’s going on.”
He closed his eyes and let out a breath, forcing the anxiety he felt down. “We only have about ninety minutes, Dad. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if by midnight on the dot they have police there. It’s not a coincidence they’re sending the message this late like this. They don’t want people to have notice so they don’t upload, which means we need to go now.”
“If we have ninety minutes like you say, then that’s time to talk it out for a little while before we head over there, right?” his mother asked. “Your father’s right. We can’t throw ourselves into something like this without an explanation.”
Another breath was exhaled, and he rolled his shoulders to try and stop being so tense. Didn’t he go over this before? That they had to upload once it looked like it wasn’t gonna be possible anymore?
Was it even a good idea to push it this late like this? Jesse wondered. Hindsight said no.
“Okay. Fine. What do you want to know?” he asked aggressively. “We can’t take too long though. We need to be out of here in thirty minutes at the latest. I don’t wanna risk them trying to stop us earlier.”
“Okay, how about this first: how do we know that whatever order they’re passing to stop people from going to those Experience Centers isn’t the right thing?” It was his father who asked it, a question Jesse was sure he answered before. He tried not to be so anxious about having to go through this again.
“Because I know it is, and I know it is because Composition– err, Sheila–uploaded. And you know from all the times she’s been over here with my friends that she wouldn’t suddenly make a dumb decision.”
“But the news says that Celestia is a master manipulator,” his mother started. “Didn’t you say that to us yourself, too? If she can trick people, then why wouldn’t she be able to trick us or your friends?”
“And didn’t your friend do it because she was in the hospital, you said?” his father added.
“Yes, but still, it’s not like a liver transplant is– aaaah!” Why hadn’t he just found time to make sure they understood sooner? He thought they did already. It seemed like they were coming around and understanding that when he said they had to, they had to. And now he had to go through silly arguments that he could refute himself? Even Eliza, the most skeptical of the entire group, understood that what Celestia was offering was legit.
“Okay. If she’s just tricking people into committing suicide, why would the computer nerds who programmed her and the scientists who did the operations to upload people upload after that? They’re definitely smart enough to know whether or not they’re killing someone, so if they emigrated, too, that means it’s probably real. If it wasn’t, wouldn’t one of them say it wasn’t?”
“Sure, but what if they’re wrong, Jesse?” his mother asked. “Scientists throughout history have been wrong before. They could be wrong now, too.”
“We don’t have time to go through what ifs! I’m telling you that you need to trust me. Either I’m wrong and we’ll all be dead and who cares, or I’m right and we missed the chance we had to be safe. That’s why I told you before we needed to do it once this happened. That way if I’m wrong, it doesn’t hurt anything. But I’m not.” He ignored how very bad it would be if he was wrong, and stared at the two with an increasingly serious and exasperated expression.
They both opened their mouths to reply, but couldn’t think of any argument to refute what he was saying. Good. That meant they were coming around. Again. If they didn’t… well, he wouldn’t be able to go either. If he emigrated without them, he was sure they never would.
“Inflation is going crazy, and businesses are closing down, and you were just talking about how we’d have to start cutting back on how much we eat. When you add that to the fact that they’re trying to ban uploading, it means that we have to right now while we can. It’s only gonna get worse, and before you know it, there’s gonna be riots here like in Nebraska, and probably, like, martial law or something. You know some of those governors are considering it.”
“But that’s–”
“Yes, it’s because of uploading, I know. Celestia could’ve done things right and just let people emigrate when they got older, but she didn’t. We can’t go back in time though and stop her or something, and all of this that’s going on isn’t gonna make her step off. That means we need to take the chance right now. I’m telling you we do. Now let’s go.”
“Okay, I think that all makes sense,” his father said, “but what if we all get there and Celesita does something to split us up? Or what if we want to be humans instead of horses?”
“Yeah, or what if we have to–”
“We can talk about that in the car! It’s already almost eleven! Let’s go!”
They finally listened, and followed after him as he made his way out of the house and into the car. His parents stopped though to grab a few things, and when he saw, he called after them.
“You don’t need to bring anything with you. Let’s just go!”
They hesitated, and looked back at the house, but no argument came as they finally made their way over. Jesse took the driver’s seat, and his mother sat next to him, leaving his father in the back. The doors were barely closed when he drove the three of them off.
It was good that they left at exactly eleven. There was still time to swing by both Brandon’s house and Eliza’s to grab them. He was surprised though by the fact that neither answered their doors when he knocked, and neither of their cars were in front of their places. Were they already at the Experience Center?
He didn’t know, but he didn’t wait for longer than a few minutes at each location before moving on. “They both probably saw the news and already uploaded,” he explained. “That’s good. I just hope there’s not gonna be anyone there until exactly midnight.”
He wanted to speed down the street, but didn’t. No way did he want to risk screwing himself and his parents by getting pulled over and missing the deadline. He took it steady, and drove to their destination like he was just driving to meet up with his friends for an outing. It was kind of what he was doing.
The three of them were parking by about eleven forty five, cutting it close to midnight but thankfully not passing the time. It looked though like his concern about police trying to stop people from heading inside early was true. There weren’t many at this late hour, but two of them stood in front of the doors, and another few stood in a group talking to each other, glancing over at the car. They hadn’t come over yet though, and there were no protesters like his father said he saw before here now.
“No reason to stop now,” he announced as he opened the door, speaking before his parents could say anything. “It’s not midnight yet.”
Jesse’s parents followed after him, probably as nervous as he was, but showing it greater than he did. None of the officers seemed interested in heading their way, staying where they were, but he could tell they didn’t like that they were walking up to the building. They got dirty looks, a fact that made him more self conscious since there were no other civilians out here this late. He almost felt ashamed of this, until he remembered that they were the ones who forced the situation upon them. By proxy anyway.
“Are you sure about this, son?” his father asked nervously, his mother grabbing the man’s arm tightly as they both walked next to him. “We don’t wanna get caught up in trouble because of this.”
“Yeah. It’s not like we could do anything about it now anyway,” he said, a little more quietly now as they stepped up to the doors. “We’re already here.”
He stopped in front of the doors with his parents behind him, half expecting the police to handcuff him right there. They only stood silently though, the two’s looks more dirty to them than the officers behind them.
“Uh, excuse us, please,” Jesse said after a minute, mustering up the confidence. “We’re heading inside.”
“And why do you think that?” one of them asked flatly. Both had tasers and batons on them from the looks of it, and the one who spoke had a gun on his hip in its hollister. It was intimidating to see, but neither reached for their weapons, thankfully.
“They just passed an executive order that prohibits using Experience Centers because of the cultish, suicidal behavior. You’re not allowed to go in.” Not even a hint of a smile showed on the cop’s face, like they were gonna take pleasure in denying them. Jesse could see nothing beyond disdain and anger.
“Yeah, at midnight,” he shot back. “It’s not midnight yet. There’s still ten minutes.”
“Oh yeah? Is there?” the officer asked facetiously. There was a little bit of a mocking tone in his voice, but mostly bitterness. Jesse imagined that they didn’t have to be convinced into enforcing the new ban.
“What about it?” the officer asked. “Huh?”
“It means move so we can go in there,” Jesse said, portraying confidence but feeling extremely fearful. He didn’t know how far he should push this; if it looked like they were serious, he probably wouldn’t risk it. But he was gonna try now.
Neither said anything, simply glaring at them, and Jesse repeated his command. “Move.” His mother whispered something under her breath, and held his father tighter behind him as the man took a breath. When neither officer moved, he took the risk and tried to move past him. Predictably, the officer moved to block his way completely.
“You’re not going in there. It’s banned.”
“Get out of my way,” he demanded, roughly shoving past them. An extremely bold move, one he was almost certain would be crossing the line. The cop grunted something and grabbed for his arm, but Jesse yanked back before he could get a firm hold on him and hurried inside the building..
“Jesse, no!” his mother yelled to him as his father gasped. The first cop turned to head inside after him, but before he could make it more than a few steps, his partner stopped him.
“Whatever. Let them kill themselves if they want to. Stupid fucking idiots. Lucky it’s not midnight on the dot, or I’d charge you with assault and put you in jail.” Then the second one moved out of the way and let his parents catch up to him without issue.
“What the heck was all of that, son?” his father asked. “You know, you could’ve gotten yourself arrested. Or hurt if they thought you were being violent. What then?”
“Then I guess we’d still be out there and not in here, and nothing would be different,” he said. “Good thing they didn’t care enough.”
“Sure, but what if they’re right about this being suicide?” his mom asked. “Are you sure about all of this, Jesse?”
“Yeah, I’m sure about this, Mom. Just trust me. We’re already here.”
He didn’t really remember the rest of what happened after that, except for consenting to emigration and something about Eliza and Brandon that he couldn’t remember for the life of him.
Solar Spark was waking up in a place that was strange, but not unfamiliar to him. It was a little cottage that was situated in a field next to the train tracks. It was one that only had a couple of bedrooms– one for him and another for any guests he might have– and a kitchen that connected to the living room, with nothing else outside of a bathroom within its four walls. It was in a place that allowed him to view the mountains from one window and the beach next to the ocean from another. It was a simple place, one with not much else other than gear for whatever activity the owner of the cottage might want to do, and a little symbol with Celestia’s cutie mark on it in the kitchen.
He didn’t have any trouble getting out of bed like he expected to, although he’d been told before that using his new body wouldn’t be an issue. The one he inhabited now was bright red, with a banana yellow mane that had a red horn sticking out of it. It came with four hooves, as well as a tail that was equally as yellow as his mane, along with eyes that he couldn’t see yet but knew were purple. They were eyes that no longer needed glasses to be able to see farther than two feet in front of his face.
He thought he’d be more surprised and forget what just happened a few minutes ago– well, he did forget some of it. There were police officers, and his parents were there, but what after that? But he wasn’t surprised. What was there to be surprised about? He intentionally went to the Experience Center to do exactly this.
Solar Spark grinned at what he accomplished, and let out a little laugh to himself. “Guess this is all legit then,” he said to himself. Not that he had very big doubts about that, but the thought was always there up until then.
Celestia wasn’t in the room with him like he expected, and neither were his parents, but that wasn’t an issue. He was planning to call for her soon anyway. But he took time first to test out his limbs and get a good feel for his body. It moved like he expected, his mind knowing just how to get it to move at his command. A test of his magic didn’t produce anything though, which meant he’d have to learn it all again. That didn’t bother him though. In fact, it’d probably be pretty neat to be able to do it himself for real rather than press buttons through a screen. The thought made him grin wider.
“Are you enjoying yourself already, Solar Spark?” a familiar voice asked gently, one that made the stallion turn around abruptly. The white, elegant alicorn princess that stood before him seemed bigger in real life. And more intimidating. He felt a little bit intimidated standing in front of her now.
And then red faced when he glanced down and realized that actually uploading showed more details than he got just playing on his PonyPad. His current lack of clothing– or anything to cover himself really– was already making him uncomfortable and shy.
“If modesty is an issue for you,” Celestia said, certainly reading the embarrassed look he had on his face, “I can offer adjustments if you would like. Your friend, Composition, asked for such as soon as she arrived.”
To his mind, she meant, something he knew without her finishing. “Um, no thanks. I’m fine. Um.” He was a little at a loss for words with so many new things happening all at once. “Where are my parents?” he began.
“They’re in the next room, still acclimating themselves to the changes in their bodies,” she explained. “I could have placed you all in the same room to begin, but I figured you’d like some privacy for yourself as you got used to your new surroundings.”
“Yeah, that’s good. Thank you. Uhhh…” Man, was he at such a loss. He didn’t even know where the heck to begin or what he should be asking. Maybe he was more surprised than he thought.
“Uhhh, thank you,” he said again awkwardly, still feeling completely embarrassed as he looked away. “I can’t really remember what I should be asking right now. Sorry.”
“No need to apologize, Solar Spark,” the princess assured. “Any question or request you might have for me is just a hoofstep away, something I’m sure you already know. Although it should be made known that any rush you might be in to see your friends is not an issue. Take as much time as you need to adjust. Your friends will perceive that you’ve only been absent for a few hours from their perspective.”
“I don’t need time to adjust,” he said quickly, but unconfidently. He did not want to end up in a situation where Celestia thought it would be a good idea to imitate him because he took too long to see somepony. “I’m only gonna be here for a little while before I head over,” he told her. “You don’t need to do that.”
She smiled like a parent talking to her foal, the look on her face making it seem like she thought she knew what was best for him. She probably did if everything Composition said about her was true.
“Well, know that it’s available to you if you need,” she finished. “I’ll leave you for now, Solar Spark.”
She disappeared with the flash of her horn, just as quickly as she came, and the stallion was left standing in his bedroom, still processing all of this. But not for long. He blinked a few times and took a deep breath, then carefully opened his bedroom door to step out into the main room of the cottage.
His parents were already there, ponies now, obviously, sitting with just as little modesty as he now had. They didn’t seem that concerned about it, and he imagined that they allowed Celestia to adjust that aspect about themselves. He wondered briefly if he should, too, but then pushed it out of his mind a moment later. He could just tough it out for a while until he got used to it.
His parents were both unicorns, both with cream colored coats that seemed close to their skin color as humans. His father’s style was notably more boring than his mothers, who wore a pink mane with blue highlights that had a bow at the end of it, with a matching one on her tail. His father opted for a boring brown mane and tail, and had brown eyes that contrasted against his mother’s icy blue ones. They were both the same height, which was just as tall as him.
“Whoa! Is that you, Jesse?” his mother asked, her voice just the same as it was on Earth, which he expected. “You’re so colorful, more than I thought you’d wanna be! Is that the horse you played in the game?”
“Uh, pony, but yeah,” he answered, working past his shyness. “And yeah, this was my character in the game. Um, also, you should call me ‘Solar Spark’ here. Or Sparky if you want.”
“Like the nickname the counselor gave you in elementary school?” his mother asked with a little smile. “That’s adorable! That should be easy to remember, I think.”
“I’m glad you were right though, son,” his father now started. “We’re really– wow, we’re really in a computer. This is all real. Isn’t that crazy?”
“Yeah, pretty crazy,” Solar Spark agreed, putting on a small smile of his own now as he got more relaxed. “Not surprising though, since I told you it’d be safe. I’m glad we made it though.”
“Yeah, me, too,” his father nodded, looking around the room, then down at his hooves. “It’s just so surprising. This is all real. Like, how could they ban something like this when it’s real? I mean, we have to be horses according to Celestia, but still–”
“Oh yeah!” his mother jumped in again. “She made us get new names. Mine's supposed to be Willowbrook, and your father’s is Stern Steel.”
“She also said we have to do something to earn a cutie mark? Like, a test or something like that?” his father added. “I don’t know how that works, or even what that is, so if you could help us with that, Jesse– errr, Sparky? We’re gonna need it.”
“It’s not really something I can help you with, but I’ll tell you about it later. I wanna get going to Composition’s shard, if we can.”
“Shard?”
“World, basically. This is my shard, or my world. I’d offer to let you stay in it, but there’s nopony here but me. I spend most of my time in Composition’s shard. There’s a train that leads there from here though.”
“Sounds good to me,” his father shrugged. “We’ll do whatever you think is best.”
“Uhhh, do you think we could find something to wear though, first?” his mother asked. “Family’s family, but I don’t think I’d like to go out in public looking quite this indecent…”
So then they hadn’t asked for that to be taken away, and were only composed because it was him. “There’s not really anything you can use to, uh, cover up,” he explained, more blood going to his cheeks. “Maybe a dress or something for you, Mom? But I don’t know how much that’s actually gonna do.” A small pause came, and then he finished, “It’s just something you have to get used to. Either that, or ask Celestia to make it so you don’t care about not having any clothes.”
They both nodded and looked about as uncomfortable about the idea as he felt right then. They didn’t argue though, his father instead quickly gathering himself to his hooves and telling Solar Spark to show them around, since he knew more than they did.
They followed him out, and after a relatively short train ride, stepped off after him when they got to Composition’s shard. They took in everything they saw with wide, curious eyes, just as he did, although he was able to keep the look of surprise off his face. It wasn’t that much different from real life anyway, except for all the ponies walking around.
“This is a little insane,” his father said aloud as they stopped for a moment near where they got off. “I feel like I’m going crazy. This can't be real, can it?”
“It is,” he confirmed, a little smile on his face as he got to teach them about Equestria. “I don’t know how many ponies there are, but it’s like this all over Equestria in however many millions or billions of shards people have. This is just one part.”
“That’s insane,” was all his father could say before Solar Spark started off again.
He walked a bit slower than normal, giving them time to look it all over, taking a minute for himself to get used to now physically being in Summer’s Edge. He might have known all about Equestria Online and heard from Composition and others all there was to know about uploading, but it was still an adjustment for him to make. He could only imagine what his parents must be feeling with how little they knew.
“Are all these ponies real? Or are they just, like, part of the computer?” his mother asked bluntly.
“Uhhh, most of these ponies are NPC’s– basically, ones Celestia created to satisfy humans. But all of my friends are actual humans, if that makes sense.”
“I don’t know how I feel about talking to a computer, Jesse,” she said skeptically. “That sounds a little freaky to me.”
“It’ll be fine,” he assured her. “Honestly, I don’t think you’d even be able to tell the difference between– oh, hey! There she is! Composition!”
There was the black and white maned earth pony, looking up and smiling when she saw him. She was joined by both Bright Sky and Spell Master, two ponies Solar Spark hasn’t seen much of since they emigrated two months before he did, as well as Agile Trace and Soft Step. So then they all really were here. He forgot to ask about that, but he was glad they were safe.
“You guys know Sheila and Cynthia and Drake,” he said to his parents as he approached. “Well, this is them. Sheila’s the gray mare, named Composition, Cynthia’s the yellow pegasus, Bright Sky, and the red and black unicorn is Drake. He’s Spell Master.”
“So who are you introducing us to again?” Bright Sky asked curiously. “That can’t be your parents, right?”
“It is,” Solar Spark confirmed. “I know you never thought you’d see them in here, but– oh, the purple unicorn, Soft Step– that’s Brandon, and the blue pegasus over there is Eliza. Agile Trace. She stopped by a few months ago, I think.”
“Well, it’s certainly nice to meet all of your friends,” his mother said kindly, with a friendly little wave. “How do you do, everyone?”
“They’re not AI ponies though, right?” his father asked. “I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that.”
“No, they’re all humans,” he explained. “I told you before all of my friends were humans. Well, I guess they’re not anymore, since they all uploaded, but you get what I’m saying.”
“Ah, okay then. Nice to meet you all, then,” he offered. “Well, again, since I remember Sheila and Cynthia and the other guy.”
“And you said those two were who again?” his mother asked. “Your friends Brandon and Eliza? Were they the ones we stopped at their houses to grab before we got here?”
“Uh, when did you stop by, and before you got where?” Agile asked, both she and Soft Step looking confused. “We’re at Outback Steakhouse using Composition’s giftcard to get food and drinks before the place goes out of business.”
Oh no.
“You were at Outback Steakhouse with your phones off?” he asked, exasperated. “Why? Why didn’t you just leave them on?”
“I always put my phone on silent when I eat out?” Agile replied, a confused expression on her face. “I’m pretty sure Soft Step does, too.”
“Why does that matter though?”
“Aaaah! I called both three times so I could tell you that they were about to ban uploading here! And then I texted you, and went over to both of your houses! I didn’t see either of your cars there, so I assumed that you both already got the same EMS message I did and went to the Experience Center before me! They sent it at, like, ten o’clock to say that it was going into effect at midnight! There’s no way it’s not already past then!”
“What? Hold on.” Eliza didn’t wait, and neither did Soft Step. The former flew off and the latter lit up her horn and teleported away. That likely meant they were clicking off their PonyPads now. And in a few minutes, both would come back angry, probably at him, even though he did everything in his power to get the message to them before he got to the Experience Center. And now his mood was ruined.
“What’s going on, Sparky?” Composition asked. “Are you saying you already uploaded? What the heck happened?”
He went through the explanation with the three of them, more slowly now, making sure they knew exactly what was going on. All three looked worried by what he said, as well as angry. They didn’t blame him though, thankfully, when he described the effort he put in to get into contact with Soft Step and Agile.
“That’s fucking bullshit!” Bright Sky cursed. “They can’t do that! There’s no way something like that can be legal at all!”
“Well, they did,” he confirmed. “Like, there were already police at the doors when we got there, and I had to push my way past them just to get inside.”
“It’s true,” his mother said. “We all thought for a minute they were gonna try and arrest him. They didn’t thankfully, but–”
“But it’s bad,” the stallion finished. “Like, I’m pretty sure if the other one wasn’t there, he was gonna chase after me in there. There’s no way the two of them are gonna be able to get to the one in Fayetteville, and I’m pretty sure most of the states nearby are getting just as strict.”
“If what you told us about what happened in Nebraska before is anything to go off of, they should probably get out of North Carolina completely as soon as they can,” Spell Master said. “Do you know where the nearest Experience Center they can get to is?”
“Washington I think? Or California maybe? It depends more though on what looks like the safer bet, because either way, it’s gonna be a few days for them at least, unless there’s a way Celestia can upload you without an Experience Center.”
“I doubt it,” Composition sighed. “If there was, I think she would’ve already sent it out to people. Like, she probably would’ve known what’s happening in the Outer Realm and already told all three of you what to do.”
It was such a depressing thought, and a scary one, too. Even Agile who he didn’t really care much for– he still wanted her to upload and be safe. And if she or Soft Step weren’t, well, then it would be his fault. Not because he didn’t do what he could. He was the one who aggressively said they needed to hold out months ago when Renown Composition uploaded. With how bad she was feeling, even back then, she probably would’ve emigrated already, but he told her not to. And with the closeness Agile Trace and Soft Step had, it was pretty likely that if Agile did, she would have emigrated, too. And then that would’ve just left him who would’ve been last to get here. It was almost certainly on him if they didn’t make it.
“Celestia… god damn it!” he yelled angrily to himself before falling to his haunches. What an unsatisfying first day in Equestria this was for him.
“Sparky, it’s gonna be fine,” Renown Composition told her friend, rubbing his back with a hoof as he stayed sitting on his haunches angrily in the middle of town. It was definitely at himself, she could tell that much, what with the upset look he had. He shivered and clenched his jaw, looking about a step or two away from breaking down right there.
“I’m sure Celestia will think of something,” she continued carefully, keeping her voice a bit quiet. “You know she’s not just gonna let them get away with not uploading with how aggressive she is about making sure everypony gets in here. And even if she’s not able to do something, Soft Step is one of the smartest ponies I know and Agile Trace is definitely the most stubborn. If I had to place bets on any two ponies getting through a situation like that, it would be those two.”
“But that’s the thing! It’s still a gamble they have to make because I said we should all wait at the very beginning! Agile Trace knew it was inevitable, and said so at every chance she got! And you know Soft Step would almost certainly rather be a pony than a human! But I was the one who demanded we all wait until it got desperate! And now they’ll probably never get to emigrate ever!”
“That’s not something you can possibly know in advance,” Composition reprimanded him. “That’s not how that works. And you can’t blame yourself for a decision they did or didn’t make like you’re the only factor. Besides, they’re probably making a plan right now for how to get here anyway, and before you can even blink, they’ll–”
“Ugh. No. I can’t talk about this right now,” he interrupted frustratedly. “I’m sorry I– I have to get out of here.” The unicorn looked up at his horn, expecting it to do something, and when it didn’t, grunted angrily and stomped off down the street, opposite the direction he and his parents came from. He was too angry even to realize they were both still standing in front of the group awkwardly.
Composition sighed and closed her eyes. “I really hope he’s okay,” she said to no one in particular.
“I hope he is, too,” his mother remarked sadly. She let out a breath of her own, then asked, “Do you really think his two friends are going to be okay… what was your name again?”
“Composition, and… yeah. As weird as it is, I’m pretty sure they’re gonna be fine. Like, even if they couldn’t do it and gave up, Celestia is too determined to upload everyone possible to just let Soft Step and Agile swing on by.”
I hope so anyway, she added silently, fearfully.
His parents nodded in understanding, both looking off into the distance where he stomped off to. “I hope those two he wanted us to get are okay,” his father said. “Even if only for his sake. I don’t wanna see Jesse– err, I mean, Sparky– looking like that.”
“Yeah…” Composition shuffled on her hooves awkwardly, feeling the worry she was starting to get past about how selfish she felt being replaced with fear for her friends. Jesse included. She believed what she said before, both about how obsessive Celestia was and how smart and stubborn Agile and Soft Step were. She was pretty sure that before she knew it, they would be here, but Solar Spark was right. There was no way for her– or even for Celestia, as powerful as she was– to know that for sure until they were here. It was gonna be pretty difficult to satisfy either herself or Jesse if the two didn’t make it in. She was sure Bright Sky and Spell Master wouldn’t feel that great about it either.
“Uhh… maybe we should try and find a distraction instead of standing here with worry,” Bright Sky suddenly spoke up. “Sparky said you just got here? You probably don’t have houses yet, do you? I bet Composition, Spell Master, and I could help you find a place to stay here. It is her shard after all.”
“Yeah, we should probably focus on that,” the earth pony agreed, certainly willing to take any distraction right now. “There’s a couple of houses near here that nopony lives in yet that you could have. Let me show you.” She hoped by the time she did, Agile and Soft Step would be showing up talking all about how it was no trouble to get to an Experience Center.
She almost expected her wishful fantasy to come true, but surprisingly, it didn’t. Celestia hadn’t manipulated time to make it seem like they had no trouble getting here at all like she imagined would happen. What did that mean? Probably that both Agile and Soft Step would use their PonyPads while they were working on a plan, she imagined. She knew how Equestria worked.
She tried her best to not think about that for a while, showing Solar Spark’s parents where they would be staying and telling them about a few of the ponies in town. They both asked how many of the ponies of Summer’s Edge were actually created by Celestia and were never humans, and looked uncomfortable when she said that most, if not all outside of her immediate group of friends were. She cringed a little bit when his mother explained that she didn’t really feel comfortable talking to Equestrian born ponies under the explanation that it felt creepy to do.
“I mean, they’re basically just horses and not people if they’re not from Earth,” she said ignorantly. “I’d rather not interact with them if I can, even if Sparky says I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”
“Equestrian born ponies are just as much people as us ponies from the Outer Realm,” she explained. “Some of them will probably be fill in ponies for one off interactions, but any of the ponies you talk to who you’re friendly with and get close to– those ponies are definitely more than just AI. They have all the same hopes and dreams and values as we do that Celestia wants to satisfy, which makes them basically human for all intents and purposes.”
“Do you have any friends who didn’t used to be humans though, Composition?” the mare asked innocently.
“Yeah, a few,” she explained, her face going red as she remembered the nights she spent with Sound Solace. “But even if I didn’t, I would still tell you the same thing, because only one out of every hundred ponies you meet will used to have been humans. Normally in a shard, there’s just a few, but Summer’s Edge has more than most places. With you both, it’ll be about twenty or so, because Celestia likes to sometimes set ponies up in our town to start off for some reason. Of course, that number will go down as other ponies move away.”
“I… I guess I can try talking to them,” the mare said reluctantly. “I’m not gonna say I’ll definitely like it, but I’ll try, if you’re so sure. Jesse does speak highly of you, and says you know everything there is to know about Equestria.”
She smiled and laughed at that impression Solar Spark gave them of her. “I know a lot, but not everything. But yeah. As long as I’ve been playing Equestria Online, I’ve been playing as a group with the rest of my friends, since four of us all bought the game together when it first came out. It really took until after I emigrated though to start making other friends.”
Her friend’s mother somehow smiled a second after she pondered the thought, and so did his father. “Thanks, Composition,” she told her. “That makes me feel better. I can see why my son likes you so much.”
She blushed again at the statement, but continued to smile, forcing herself not to dig through her complex feelings about her friends. “I try the best I can,” she said simply. “But yeah, this is it,” she said. “I should probably show you around the town, too. Like, where the shops are and where I live and where’ Sparky’s at and stuff. Then you can go out and meet some of your neighbors and get acquainted. Whenever you’re ready.”
“That sounds good,” the stallion said, seeming a little awkward. “Not for a little while though? Leslie and I… errr, Willowbrook and I, need a little time to get adjusted to… this. We never really expected to be turned into ponies, ever. Even while our son was taking us here.”
“I understand. You can get up and walk around whenever you want to, if you want, or just find me. It’s not like this place is that big. I’ll see you guys later.”
By the time she waved the two of them goodbye and left, Bright Sky and Spell Master were already waving her goodbye, heading down the street back to their own house presumably. Composition was a little relieved by it. Even trying to distract herself with Solar Spark’s parents, she realized near the end she would probably need a minute to herself.
She barely got a few seconds of standing in front of their house though when one of the two friends she was concerned about reappeared. Soft Step suddenly popped in front of her with a flash of her horn, looking about as flat faced as she expected from a pony in their position. Composition didn’t waste any time in asking if they uploaded and what was happening anyway.
“It’s nothing good,” the mare explained, her flat expression changing to an uncharacteristic scowl. “Turns out Jesse tried to message us before these bans became effective, but we never saw it. Agile and I tried to get inside– well, we drove up to the building– but it was already pretty much fenced off and stacked with officers by the time we got there. That was probably a week or so ago?”
“It’s been that long already?” Composition asked. “It’s only been a couple of hours here. What are you gonna do? Is there anywhere you can go?”
“We’re driving to Washington right now. Spokane specifically. We were gonna do California, but from what we heard on TV, everyone is going there, and that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Not to mention, a whole bunch of those states we’d have to drive through wouldn’t let us use our PonyPads. Not that the ones we’re gonna drive through to Washington are any better, but Texas is gigantic, and we didn’t wanna deal with it. I’m only using mine now because we got out of North Carolina finally. Passing through Virginia now.”
“And Eliza’s not on hers because she’s driving I assume?”
“Yeah. We’re gonna take turns. But man, everything just exploded there. Didn’t really feel like going through all the people trying to get out of the state first, you know? I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have had much luck, since they were stopping cars randomly and arresting anyone who has a PonyPad. It’s pretty bad. I’m sure Agile would use more coarse language though.”
It sounded that way to Composition. The more she heard, the more her body wiggled around nervously as she started to pace back and forth. How could things get so bad so quickly? It’d only been half a year in real time since she uploaded, right? Maybe slightly more than that? Things were pretty okay when she was mugged.
“It’s all just tumbling like a house of cards,” the mare shook her head disappointedly as she glanced at her hooves. She quickly looked back up at her friend a second later and asked, “Have you talked to Celestia? Tried to see what she could do? I need a place to sit down.”
“That was actually the very first thing we did, I think,” Soft Step explained as she lit her horn and casted a spell to take the two to a cafe she recognized down the street. Composition wordlessly took a seat as the mare in front of her stayed upright, continuing, “Even before we headed over to the Experience Center, I thought of the idea of talking to Celestia to see what she could do. You know, since this is basically all the mess she created and she’s so insistent about getting everypony uploaded that the country is collapsing. She could only suggest that we make our way to the west coast, annoyingly enough.” There was a pause and a sigh before she added, “She did try to assure us though that even if we didn’t get there, it wouldn’t be an issue and she’d be able to help us eventually. She seemed certain about that, and even said that if we were unsure, we could just sit around and wait for her to basically come to the rescue. You know Agile wouldn’t hear any of that though, not now. Neither would I, honestly.”
Composition nodded, a little more assured but not any more settled in her nerves. Celestia apparently did have a plan, which was good, but it was still dangerous. Even if they didn’t do anything, she could imagine how hard it would be out there.
She was now feeling like Solar Spark did, except she could say it was definitely her fault. There was no way Agile even hinted at the question to him, but she directly asked her. And Composition said she shouldn’t. She said not to. Whatever Solar Spark might have said to her, Agile held Composition’s opinion in high regard. And she told her friend not to emigrate yet. If she said she should, then…
“I’m sorry,” the mare said, starting to tear up. She put her head in her hooves for a moment and sniffled loudly, choking back her urge to lay down and start sobbing. “I don’t mean to be like this. Both of you just be safe though, please? You need to be safe.”
“Will do,” Soft Step assured her, looking a little awkward as Composition wiped her eyes. “We’ll update you as much as we can. I’m gonna go now though so I can switch places with Agile driving. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
“Thank you,” Composition said gratefully before Soft Step flashed her horn and teleported away. When she was finally alone, she truly did sob like she needed to.
“I had to turn it off,” Brandon said. “I didn’t expect her to break down like that, and didn’t really know what to do. I thought you could pull over soon and try to talk to her.”
“I will, but not yet,” Eliza told him. “I wanna get as much driving as I can in before we switch, that way you’re refreshed and we can do this all in one straight shot, you know?”
“Yeah, that’s probably the best idea,” he agreed. He sighed and rested his head on his chin, staring out the window with a listless expression on his face. Eliza could say she felt about the same way, although part of that was anger at a whole lot of people. The obvious causing most of it, of course.
“You okay?” she asked, only able to glance at him as she kept her eyes on the road. He shrugged and sighed again, but didn’t answer. “Tell me what’s going on,” she continued. “I mean, unless it’s the obvious. But you can tell me about that, too.”
“It’s the obvious,” he replied, keeping his eyes pointed out the window. “All of this. I kind of wish things were different, but who the heck doesn’t?” He let out another breath, finishing, “I don’t wanna say I need this more than you or anyone else, but heck, does it feel that way. I should have just emigrated while I was thinking about it. Right after Cynthia and Drake did.”
“I’m sure the Evil Empress will find a way to get us there,” she consoled him, taking a second to pat his shoulder before going back to the wheel. “She can’t satisfy us if we’re dead, can she? Like, I bet if we die, she’ll take our dead corpses and upload us anyway. Or turn everyone on Earth into ponies so that it doesn’t matter either way.”
“Or some other crazy impossible scientific magic?” Brandon asked, turning back to Eliza with a little smile. “Yeah, I’m sure she’ll find a way. She’s too smart not to be able to.” Then he frowned and sighed for a third time, saying, “But there’s still a small chance that she doesn’t. And if not, with how bad things are on Earth now, there’s no way it’s gonna happen as a human.” He scrunched up his nose and closed his eyes, but didn’t cry.
“Why didn’t you just upload before then?” she asked. “Except for me being a sad loser about everyone uploading, I mean.”
“You’re not a loser,” Brandon assured her. “And, like, I kind of cared about what people would think, as dumb as it is. But it’s at a point now where I just wanna do it. That’s why I was thinking about it when those two jumped in there. I’m sure you get what I mean.” A little pause came, and he added, “And no, I’m not thin skinned enough that you snapping at me one time is enough to change my mind.”
“Good. Because I’d feel bad if you were, but only for you,” she said. He didn’t joke back, but he did put on another little smile.
“I’d feel bad for myself if I was. Or actually, if I was, Celestia would’ve already uploaded me anyway. But yeah. It’s like, who the heck is gonna care anyway? Other than me, and straight women and gay men, I guess.”
“Imagine if they did though,” Eliza lightly joked. “How ironic would that be? They all just shunned you right away for committing the biggest sin of all?”
“A pony, sure, but a mare? Oh no!” They both laughed loudly, and then sighed again, a quiet moment starting to build. Neither said anything after that, Brandon having a look on his face as though he was thinking about something. Eliza didn’t ask about it though, waiting to see if he wanted to say something.
Not for a long while did either speak, probably a good hour or so, but after they stopped for gas again and he insisted on switching seats with her, Brandon told Eliza what was on his mind.
“I know that this is gonna be a little weird,” he started, gripping the wheel tightly and looking more shy now than he did when he talked about being trans. “I know Bright Sky told me about the weird, uh, relationship you have with Composition and Jesse,” he said. “About how she’s going on dates with both of you? And like, you obviously like her. I can see that much. But I was wondering… would you wanna potentially go on a date with me?” His cheeks were flushed red and he stared fully ahead at the road, not daring to look at her out of embarrassment. Eliza couldn’t say it was the most surprising question in the world.
“Are you saying this isn’t a date already?” she joked. “I consider long car drives to the Experience Center to be one of the most romantic things possible." Then she said, “For real though, I don’t see why we can’t. As long as you’re cool with the fact that I’m probably gonna want to go on more dates with Composition. I mean, we both already like each other, I know that much. Her and I, I mean.”
“Yeah, that’s cool,” he said quickly, still embarrassed. “I know it’s probably not gonna turn into anything serious, but I gotta shoot my shot, right?”
“Consider me shot then,” she smiled. “Sounds like it could be fun. You’re lucky I only like women. Also, asking me out? That’s gay.” They both laughed again at her joke, and she grinned when she saw how relaxed he was now.
Was it bad to think about this as insurance for if Composition rejected her completely for Solar Spark? She didn’t know, but it wasn’t like Brandon was just someone else. The two were good friends, although they both knew it wasn’t as close between them as it was between she and Composition. If she was in a position to choose, there’d be no hesitation on her part.
“I’m gonna get on my PonyPad now though,” she finished. “You said I needed to talk to Composition? How bad is she?”
“She looked like she was just starting to cry when I left,” he said. “Jesse’s not feeling great either. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bright Sky and Spell Master were feeling it, too."
“I’m glad we have that kind of power over our friend group,” Eliza said as she turned on her PonyPad. “I can use this to my advantage when I– Jesse? What are you doing standing in front of my house?”
She opened up the game to see him outside, sitting on the steps near the front door, presumably waiting for her. He had red eyes like he’d been crying, and an angry look on his face, too. What the heck was going on?”
“I assume you haven’t emigrated yet, have you, Agile?” he asked, but then shook his head. “No, if you did, Soft Step would be here right now. What are you two doing?”
“We’re driving to Washington right now, but why are you–”
“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he told her as he stood up, getting straight to the point. “I know part of the reason you two aren’t here yet is because of me, when I–”
“No, it’s not,” she stopped him before he could get much out. “It’s not, and it’s not Composition’s fault either. The fact that Brandon and I haven’t uploaded yet is on the two of us and no one else. Don’t start thinking that it’s because of you when it’s not.”
“But–”
“No. I’m telling you it’s not. End of story.”
He looked like he wanted to argue, and maybe a little irritated by her abrasiveness, but thankfully didn’t put up a fight about it. A few seconds later, he let out another breath and nodded.
“Okay. I’ll… let you have that. Still sorry though. I can’t help but feel bad about it. I know Composition does, too, and that makes it worse.”
“Well if I have to talk to her, too, so that you both know we’re not lame brained enough to leave important decisions to whoever talks to us last, I will,” she said. “I don’t care if it seems like I’m being mean. I can’t have you two feeling bad because of a decision we did or didn’t make when it’s not your fault.” She wasn’t going to admit that part of the importance of making sure they didn’t feel bad was because of the insecurity Celestia talked to her about before. She was able to recognize it now after the princess brought it up a couple of months ago.
“I can take you to her, if you want,” he offered, still downcast. “I mean, she’s just in her house, but if you have a chance, I kind of think we need to– wait, you’re with Soft Step right now, you said. Well, whenever you get the chance– I guess when you emigrate– I wanna talk to you about stuff.”
“If you want, but I don’t know what there’s gonna be to talk about. If it’s what I think it is, I’d rather ignore it, honestly. It’s not like we can change anything, and Celestia’s just gonna make whatever happens happen.”
“I know. I don’t mean about that. More just, like, catching up in general, one on one, if that’s okay. Casually. I don’t think we’ve ever hung out one on one, you know? And with how you always talk about how inevitable everything is and how I’m in here now, it’d probably be good to spend some time together.”
Eliza and her pony both raised an eyebrow, and even Brandon who was only half listening glanced at her. “Celestia didn’t put you up to this, did she?” she asked skeptically. “Because coming from you, it sounds kind of weird.”
“She told me I should spend time with you when I talked to her yesterday about what’s going on with you and Soft Step. She didn’t really say why I should, though. Only that you’d probably like it if we did when you had the chance.”
She wanted to scream in frustration at the princess the first can she got, and almost let out one now here in the car. Somehow though, she was able to contain both that and any look of frustration she might have felt about Celestia mucking around and trying to manipulate things. Was this how she was going to ensure ponies were able to talk to her after she uploaded? Because this was fucking embarrassing. If Eliza found out the AI had told her other friends, she was going to scream.
She communicated none of what she thought, and kept anything she might have felt off her face. Instead, she simply replied, “That sounds good. Whenever you want to is fine with me. Can’t right now though, obviously. We have to focus on driving.”
“I know. But when you get here, we can try and plan–”
“Eliza, put your PonyPad away,” Brandon said quickly, pulling her back into reality. “Cops are flashing behind us. I’m pretty sure Ohio’s one of the states that doesn’t allow PonyPads.”
Great. More things for the two of them to have to worry about.
Neither Eliza nor Brandon moved a muscle as they were told to sit and wait outside the car while an officer went through it. It wasn’t very long before he came back out with both of their PonyPads in hand, along with their headsets. It wasn’t like they tried very hard to hide them. They were sitting right there in the backseat when they pulled over.
He had an unreadable look on his face as she stepped toward them with the gear in hand. “You know you can’t have these in Ohio, right?” he said seriously. No anger or frustration in his voice thankfully, but it still wasn’t good. “Even if you’re just driving through. This stuff’s banned.”
“We honestly didn’t know,” Eliza explained, a clear lie. They had known, but just simply didn’t make an effort to conceal their using them since they were on the road. They figured it wouldn’t be a big deal like it seemed it now would be.
“Like I said, we were going to my parents house in Montana,” she continued. “The house is in Great Falls. You can call them if you want.”
“I think I will,” he said, “but I’m telling this to you now. I’m giving you one chance to be honest with me about what’s really happening here. If you are, I’ll just confiscate this and let you off with a warning. But if you aren’t, you can bet I’ll give you every charge I can think of.”
“Call them then,” she said, portraying a confident seriousness. “That’s where they live. I don’t know if they’re gonna pick up though, but I’m not lying.”
“What’s their number then?”
Eliza gave them one, and watched him enter it with no hesitation, putting his own cell phone to his ear. She didn’t know if this would work, especially since she thought of it on the spot, but certainly hoped it would.
A few seconds later, she breathed a little sigh of relief when the officer started speaking after a few rings. “Good afternoon,” he said formally. “My name’s officer Sullivan, and I’m here with your daughter, Eliza Nimble, as well as one of her friends, Brandon Marshall. Who am I speaking to?”
He waited for a few seconds, both Eliza and Brandon watching anxiously when he finally continued, “No, they’re not under arrest yet. I was just calling to see if what they were telling me about heading to Montana was true. I said I’d take these devices they had, PonyPads, and let them off with a warning if you picked up and confirmed their story. They’re not allowed to have them anywhere in Ohio, you understand?”
More silence, and then he continued, “Thank you, Mrs. Nimble. I’ll let them get on their way now. They’re not going to be charged with anything, and there’s nothing you need to do on your part.” One more pause, and he finished, “Have a good afternoon,” before quickly hanging up the phone.
“I guess it’s your lucky day,” he said, stepping in front of them to head back to his police cruiser. “I appreciate the honesty you gave me, but if I see you in this state with more of these things, it won’t be a warning next time. You can get along now.”
Neither stood up until well after the cop departed, both breathing a long sigh of relief when he finally did. That could’ve been a lot worse. Eliza imagined other states might not play around with them having PonyPads. It wasn’t great that they had them taken away though.
“Was that really your parents?” Brandon asked. “I thought you didn’t like them.”
“I don’t, and it wasn’t,” she answered as she stood up to head back to the passenger seat. “I haven’t talked to them in about five years. Heck, I’ve never even been anywhere close to Montana. I just figured since Sparky told me Celestia wanted him to talk to me, she’d come up with something if I said that. She can’t upload us if we’re arrested, can she?”
“That’s some smart thinking,” Brandon smiled. “Makes sense, too. I’m glad you didn’t just decide to take a random gamble.”
“It was a little bit of one, but I figured the odds were high she’d pull through. Bad we don’t have PonyPads now though. I need to send an email.”
She typed a simple message as Brandon took the wheel again and drove them off, a quick one to update them on the situation.
Got our PonyPads confiscated. We’re fine, but we’re not gonna be able to talk at all until we get there. We’re not planning on buying new ones since we’re driving now anyway. I don’t even think anyone would sell them, and it’d be too risky for us to buy if they did. We’ll talk to you later.
-Eliza
Almost instantly, emails from Composition and Bright Sky came in, telling her to be safe and get there in one piece and that they’d see her soon. After that, the girl turned her phone off and concentrated on resting while Brandon drove and keeping him company.
Thankfully, the drive was largely uneventful after that, although it was exhausting. The two hardly stopped for anything outside of gas and the occasional bite and stretch of their legs. Eliza slept in the back while Brandon drove, and he did the same while she drove. The sun set, and then rose, and set again before rising again for them to drive through Idaho. Both looked at the news on their phones whenever they had service to make sure things hadn’t changed at all, and thankfully, nothing new had come in during the last forty eight hours of them being on the road.
Brandon wiggled in his seat once the road sign had indicated they were in the state they were looking for, and he even put on a smile. “Excited?” Eliza asked, watching his smile grow into a full on grin as the signs indicated that Spokane was just a few miles away.
“Absolutely,” he told her, almost giddy. “Honestly, I thought there’d be more trouble, but this was a breeze! And Washington hasn’t changed any of their laws yet, so getting to the Experience Center is gonna be no sweat! This is actually happening!”
Eliza was still a little nervous, but what could she do? It wasn’t like there was any other option but to upload with how bad things were getting and all of her friends gone. Besides, seeing Brandon excited made her a little excited, too. It wasn’t a feeling she could say any of her friends told her they felt when they uploaded. It was kind of nice to be excited, she guessed. It at least made her forget about the anger she had for the AI god who caused all of this for a little while. She wasn’t going to get over that quite so quickly, and would probably tell her off the second she saw her.
But she decided to be happy and excited for now, thinking about the prospect of being a mare and seeing her friends in person again, and hyped the friend next to her up a little bit. “Yeah, it is gonna happen, isn’t it?” she smiled. “What do you think? Just a couple of hours, if that? I heard a lot of people forget about what happens right before they upload, so you’re probably gonna blink and be there.”
“Yeah, I hope so,” he said happily. “I didn’t think I’d be this excited!”
The two couldn’t help but talk back and forth as they followed the printout directions of their route to the Experience Center. It was nerve wracking to think about though, exciting as it was. She was pretty confident this was legit, but was not confident in Celestia’s intentions. That was what made her nervous.
I need to make sure I’m exact with what I want before I consent, Eliza thought. That I don’t want copies or imitations of my friends, and I don’t want them to be driven away from me for other ponies like she probably wants to do. Eliza repeated it in her head as Brandon drove the two of them, working on the exact specifics of what to say.
Then the car turned the corner of the street the Experience Center was on and both she and Brandon’s hearts dropped.
“Um, please tell me those police are there to let us get through,” Brandon said anxiously, stopping his car on the corner of the street. He didn’t have a choice about it. He wasn’t able to go further with how many people were packed into the small parking lot of the Experience Center. Hundreds– maybe thousands of protesters crowded around the building, carrying signs and shouting loudly as a large swath of shields protected the walkway up to the doors of the building. They had to hold people back, and seemed like they were barely able to restrain them from rushing in. But was this to stop them from uploading, or to let them?
The answer came when the two watched the shields part for just a second to let a couple of people through, who nodded gratefully and made their quick way inside. It was great news to both Eliza and Brandon, the former turning off the car, but not getting out yet. Eliza wondered silently if Celestia had some influence in this, if this could have been for the two of them specifically.
“I guess there’s no time like the present to get in there, right?” Brandon offered nervously. The girl didn’t reply, and stepped out of the car silently, her friend following behind her.
It was difficult figuring out how to get close, eventually being forced to make their way all the way around the building to find an opening to step through. It was loud out here, the protesters screaming all sorts of things. Not at them– not yet anyway– but making chants against Celestia and yelling about how uploading was genocide and all sorts of other things. Most of them were old people, or people who had small children with them, but there were a few people Eliza’s age mixed in with the screams. She could understand the sentiment, at least the part about how Celestia couldn’t be trusted. She didn’t really get what screaming and yelling would do though.
It took genuine effort to push their way to the front again so they could get closer to the riot police. The men and women with shields constantly shoved people back, tripping them up multiple times. It took a while, much longer than they imagined, but after about half an hour of trying to push their way through, they made their way close enough to the riot police that they could talk to them and hear the orders they barked.
“Stay back!” one of them yelled, holding the shield in a way that was almost threatening. “You’re going to be forced back if you get any closer!”
“We’re trying to get in there to upload, sir!” Brandon explained. “We came here from North Carolina to do this!”
Automatically, all of the protesters within earshot of their conversation changed from yelling about Celestia to yelling at them. “Traitor!” “Cultist!” “Celestia will kill you!” The attention was shifted to the two of them, with people flinging spittle into their faces and a couple roughly grabbing them to try and pull them back.
Thankfully, the officer took no further explanation, and grabbed them closer. The one next to them quickly parted so she and Brandon could get through before the protesters could get to them and stop them. Just as quickly, they put their shields back together to block the path, shoving people back who tried to get through.
Neither wasted any time hurrying up the walkway, listening to the loud chats of boos and other things directed their way now. Eliza moved as quick as she could without running, and Brandon spedwalked beside her, both of them glancing around at the crowd as they headed up. One of them shouted something unintelligible as they got near the door, and someone else yelled that someone had to do something.
There was a flash of a gun, and a loud *bang!* that hit Eliza’s ears. A moment later, she felt a tear of excruciating pain as the wind was knocked out of her, and fell forward before she could get to the door.
With as much as she heard about not being able to remember the last little while before somepony uploaded, Agile Trace was certain she wouldn’t be able to recall what happened just before she got here. She was able to recall a little bit of it though, but it was hazy in her head, and stopped after a certain point.
She knew she was shot, and didn’t pass out. She remembered being in the worst pain of her entire life. She knew someone was able to pull her inside, although she couldn’t remember who. She saw Celestia, who didn’t hesitate to ask for her consent right there. And then…
She couldn’t remember, much as she tried. She obviously consented, otherwise she wouldn’t be here, but she couldn’t remember if she told Celestia the conditions she wanted her to follow. She thought it all out, exactly what she wanted to say, but now couldn’t remember if she asked. She ground her teeth in frustration, and screamed loudly from the bed in her apartment she found herself laying in when she opened her eyes.
She heard Composition say something about being able to ask Celestia to give memories to a pony, but there was no point in that now, was there? She was already here, so what was there to stop Celestia from giving her fake ones? And that fact was followed up by the fact that if she couldn’t remember getting Celestia to agree not to make copies of her friends to satisfy them, there was no point in asking them since they’d probably just tell her what she wanted to hear. It would be useless no matter what.
The whole thought of it made her angry, angry enough that a rare, frustrated tear dripped its way down her now blue fur coated cheek. It was always inevitable. Agile Trace knew that. She knew how Celestia worked, and was certain that the alicorn princess would pull something like that just to try and satisfy her. What if her poor imitation of Composition was part of that? To trick her into thinking she could tell who her real friends were from imitations of them?
Agile Trace didn’t get up from her bed. She didn’t really care to take it all in or see anypony to tell them she got here. What was the point? She said it was inevitable this whole time, and inevitable it was. A slow march to this moment, where she’d be alone and have no one, all because she couldn’t remember if she asked her question.
She expected the princess to show up at some point, to try and convince her that she was wrong and Agile should trust her and she would never do that and whatever else. She didn’t come though, something Agile was glad for at first, but then started to think about the implications of after a few hours of doing nothing. Was she doing this because she thought this would make her more satisfied? She didn’t know, but it was always going to be on her mind no matter what because she could never know. There was only one answer anyway.
Out of spite she got out of her bed to press the princess’s cutie mark, the pony god appearing before her instantly. She didn’t have the kind smile on her face like Agile expected, but instead a sad look of dismay in its place. It lowered the intensity of Agile fury for her by a hair, but only a hair.
“I didn’t believe you would call for me, Agile Trace,” she admitted. “I feared your mood was too foul. I’m grateful you’ve allowed me to visit you however. How are you feeling?”
“Fucking angry,” she spat, retraining herself from yelling. “This whole mess is because of you, and you know it. Because you’re too fucking pushy about getting people to upload at any cost, no matter what. To the point where I’d almost believe you made that guy shoot me somehow so I couldn’t remember whether or not I told you what I wanted before I agreed to upload.”
“I don’t believe there’s anything I can say that will help you to trust me,” the princess started immediately, “but no, your injury at the Experience Center was not something I caused, or would have allowed at all. There would simply be too much risk for so little to gain. Even if you had not been injured, you wouldn’t have remembered if you specified not to receive copies of your friends from the Outer Realm, and that you would only ever be made to interact with the real versions of them. You did not, by the way.”
“Of course, I didn’t,” Agile said grumpily, crossing her hooves and looking away. At least Celestia was honest about that. She could feel the intensity of her anger lessening, but it was only being replaced by the depression she’d been swimming through for months lately.
“I understood how pressing the matter was for you,” Celestia continued, “but if I would have seen just how deeply the issue was troubling you, I would have taken more time to speak with you about the matter. I apologize that I haven’t up to this point.”
“Apologies don’t really change anything,” Agile said flatly. “And it wouldn’t have mattered how much you tried to reassure me. That would never change the fact that I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t ever going to be reassured.”
“Of course, nor would I have attempted to do such,” Celestia said. It got Agile to turn back to her skeptically, interested to hear what she meant. She could feel herself being roped into this conversation quickly.
“What reassurance could I offer you when you were skeptical of my ability to emigrate you to Equestria?” she asked. “As sure as you were in your friend, Renown Composition, you would never be certain of me while you had yet to emigrate. It would not have mattered how long we spoke or how much evidence I provided to you about emigration, you would never have found full faith in my intentions. That’s why I did not go through it with you before, do you remember?
“However, now that you are here in Equestria, you can see that what I said were my intentions were indeed true, as well as be certain that your friends are here as well. It would take an incredible leap of logic to assume that I was successful in emigrating you yet failed with your friends. Do you agree?”
“Yeah, I guess, but what–”
“So then if the intentions I made public to you about your emigration, as well as the intentions of emigrating your friends and every other human being, were truthful, what purpose would it serve for me to go back on my assurance to you that you would see your friends, ones who already exist in Equestria now, just as you do? Especially ones you are so close to?”
“It…” Agile Trace sighed and looked down at her new sky blue hooves. “It wouldn’t make sense,” she admitted. “But it doesn’t matter how much sense it makes. There’s no way for me to know.”
“You are correct. There is no way for you to know whether or not what I say is true, regardless of how much sense it makes or how much you trust me. But that is precisely why you must put your trust in me. I’ve proven my trustworthiness on the most important thing– your safety. You have to trust that I will also fulfill the things that are less important, which is making sure you continue your relationships with those closest to you.”
Agile’s eyes stayed pointed at her hooves, both looking and feeling completely unsure. How was Celestia this good? Everything she told her made perfect sense, just like always, with no holes that the mare could poke arguments through. Was one conversation really going to be enough to banish her anger and mistrust for the AI god? It seemed like so. She sighed reluctantly, and tried not to get choked up by how overwhelmed she was suddenly feeling about all of this.
“Please trust me, Agile Trace,” Celestia said, a bit more softly. She didn’t step forward or offer comfort, but her voice made the mare a little more settled. “Your friends truly are here, and are waiting for you, the very same ones who you’ve spent time with before any of you emigrated.”
She was almost ready to be convinced, and started to get up. Celestia smiled kindly down at her as she did, now offering a wing to assist her. Before she could touch her though, Agile Trace thought of something, and pulled herself back, away from her grasp.
“What about Composition?” she asked accusingly, renewed skepticism finding the pegasus. “You said before you imitated her in an attempt to satisfy us. What about that?”
“What about it exactly would you like to know?”
“If you’re serious about not trying to copy or imitate my friends and say you’re not gonna try and trick me, why would you do that to begin with?” Yes, her skepticism was fully back, and the anger was bubbling up again. She found the hole in her arguments because of a mistake Celestia made, one she was sure the princess couldn’t spin herself out of.
She should have known better when she got the simple retort. “I told you before. I wished to satisfy you while Renown Composition was away,” she said. “I believed she would be with you again sooner than she was, and when she wasn’t, believed you would need me to fill the void.”
“So then how can I trust that you’re not just gonna do exactly that now?”
“Because you’re in Equestria now,” she answered simply, as though it was obvious. “If Renown Composition, or your other friends, wished to be away from you for a spell, I would simply adjust your perception of time so that you would see no break while they went off on their own. A copy would not be needed like was required on Earth. You would see your friends as often as you both desired, whether one desired a break for a day and the other desired a year.”
Of course that made sense. Composition was talking about how weird it was that a bunch of days passed in only a few hours when she first got here. There was no argument against the logic.
Agile tried to argue anyway. “Why not do that in the first place then?” she asked. “If you can just change time for one pony or another, then why would you not just make it seem like Composition had figured everything out by the time we went online again? The only thing that makes sense is if you’re intentionally trying to convince me that I can see through an imitation when I really can’t!”
“No, Agile, that does not make sense,” Celestia gently refuted. “If my intentions were to trick you, I would never reveal to you that my imitation of your friend was just that. It risks too much for very little gain. As well, consider that my imitation came after Composition said she needed time to herself. I believe Solar Spark brought this up to you before. And you can see that you exist now here in Equestria, so can be certain that Renown Composition is here as well, and it truly was her both before and after that event. There’s no reason to imitate a pony after you emigrate when you both have such fondness for each other.”
“Then why? What was the point of it?” Agile demanded, stomping a hoof. “You could’ve done that another way, and I’m sure of that. If we’re all really here, and it’s too risky and makes no sense to try and trick me, then why do it in the first place instead of just making it seem like no time passed?”
“I’ve told you this before,” the princess finally smiled again, the look the pegasus expected of a mother who knew better than her child finally appearing onto the alicorn’s face. “I did it for your satisfaction. I’m certain that you can understand this, Agile Trace.”
The mare didn’t want to believe her. She desperately didn’t want to believe her. None of what she said made any sort of sense. And yet it made perfect sense. All of what she said flowed perfectly, frustratingly so. She despised that she wouldn’t ever know if everything she was being told was true, even more so because of how she felt herself trusting the alicorn’s word.
How the heck is she so good at this? the pegasus wondered as her lip trembled and the pace of her breathing picked up. She can’t be this good.
It made her overwhelmed enough that she cried for the first time in years, leaning into the soft, comforting wing Celestia offered as she did.
Solar Spark watched Soft Step trot up first, with Agile Trace following just a step or two behind her, glancing around and taking in the town. That the two were here right now could only mean one thing.
“Did you both get there?” he asked as he stood up from his spot on the bench at the park he was in. He tried to keep his expectations level as they approached, but couldn’t help the smile he had on. He couldn’t imagine any scenario where they got their PonyPads back and were chatting on them.
Agile Trace didn’t smile like Soft Step did until she turned and saw him. It wasn’t the big, wide grin like Soft Step wore, but then again, was that ever Agile’s style? She was too cool for that, and instead put on a simple smile.
“Yeah, it’s us,” she said immediately. “I’d make a joke, but the only one I can think of isn’t one I really wanna say. But yup, here we are. In the flesh… or maybe, in the code?”
“Finally!” Solar Spark was never known to be a hugger by any measure like some of his friends were, but he couldn’t help himself now. He galloped up to them without warning and grabbed them tight, first Soft Step, then Agile Trace. He didn’t know if he ever hugged the latter in his life, either in game or in person, but he did now. Neither pony resisted, and returned them graciously.
“I’ve just been absolutely worried this whole time,” he said as he finally pulled back. “Ever since you guys lost your PonyPads. I’ve just been sitting here drowning in anxiety for days waiting on you both. Celestia said you’d be here soon, but man, you guys sure didn’t make it quick. Did you get here alright? There wasn’t any trouble, was there?”
“Not much after they took our PonyPads in Ohio,” Soft Step answered. “I mean, we did have to push through protesters in Washington, and Agile did get shot at the Experience Center before we got inside, but other than that–”
“Wait, you guys got shot at?” he asked, surprised. “What the heck happened with that? I’d ask if you’re okay, but since you’re here–”
“Well, we were shot at,” Agile Trace explained, “but I was the only one who got shot. And then I woke up and yelled at Celestia for a while, and now… here I am. I’m like Alice in Wonderland.”
“I think that’s what we all are,” Soft Step giggled. “I didn’t get to yell at Celestia though, but I didn’t have a reason to. I did learn though that the conventional wisdom is true, as it turns out. Being a girl in the game makes you a girl in real life.”
“So it seems, I guess,” Solar Spark agreed, Soft Step putting on a bashful smile. The stallion continued smiling, too, as he said, “I can’t say I really expected it, but it makes sense in hindsight. I didn’t realize the gamers who existed before Equestria Online were trying to warn us.”
“They didn’t warn us about having no modesty once the genocide was complete and we were all turned into horses though,” Agile Trace said. She didn’t look terribly uncomfortable, but she was definitely a little bothered by it.
“You’ll get used to it, I think,” Solar Spark explained. “It took me a few days to get past, but you get past it eventually.” He said it, but was made a little self conscious again about it being brought up.
“I mean, Celestia offered to just make it so I didn’t care, and I did that,” Soft Step added. “I’m pretty sure she can do that for you, too, if you ask her. Didn’t she offer that? Or you said you were yelling at her, didn’t you?”
“I was, indeed, and no, she didn’t. I don’t really feel like asking though,” Agile explained. “I’m still way too pissed off at her to trust her fucking around with my head. Not that she can’t probably do that either way, but still. I’ll just deal with it for now, and tell you guys about what got me upset with her later.”
“Good, because I definitely want to hear about it,” Solar Spark said. “But I’m pretty sure right now Composition and Bright Sky and Spell Master wanna see you.”
“Well that’s good, because we wanna see them, too,” Soft Step smiled. “Everything about our trip was exhausting, and even though we’ve been sitting in a car for the last however many days, I’m ready to sit down with you guys and relax.”
“I can’t say I feel any different about that idea,” Agile Trace agreed. “Let’s go.”
Solar Spark looked up at his horn, although frowned when nothing happened. “I forgot I still have to learn all of the spells I had again. That’s something to keep in mind, Soft Step. I bet you’ll have to relearn to fly, too, Agile. For now though, I guess we’ll walk.”
“Walking’s fine. That’s what we’ve been doing anyway.”
“Yeah, gotta take it all in since we’re in here now, right?”
The three walked, Solar Spark watching the two do exactly that and smiling as they did. He’d done the exact same thing as they did. They’d walked through Summer’s Edge about a thousand times by this point, or more, but it was their first time as ponies. There was a little bit of enjoyment he got in not being the last to upload, since he could watch his friends react the same way he did when he got here.
Then he remembered the circumstances leading up to his arrival, and frowned again. “I’m sorry guys,” he said without stopping. “I know you said before that there was nothing to apologize for… err, Agile did at least, but I–”
“But I didn’t lie, and there’s nothing to apologize for,” she insisted. “I promise, and I know Soft Step will tell you the same thing.”
“I would, word for word, probably,” the other mare agreed. “It’s fine. Really.”
“I know it’s fine now, but–”
“But you also know that if I had a problem, I would tell you,” Agile interrupted again. “And since I haven’t said anything to you, there’s no problem to apologize for, okay?”
He sighed at first, but a second later, decided to take the offered out they provided him and smiled again. “Okay,” he agreed. “Thanks for being cool guys.”
“Literally impossible for me not to be,” Agile joked, earning a chuckle from him and a giggle from Soft Step.
It felt a bit weird being casual and friendly like this with the pegasus. Not that he wasn’t either, but casual and friendly before mostly involved talking to the same ponies and not being obvious about stepping over each other. It was strange to see the change, and Solar Spark wondered how long it would last.
Not long, because we both still like the same mare, he thought silently, but didn’t keep the thought in his head for long. Instead he continued forward with them, leading them to Composition’s house, not that they didn’t know where it was at.
It was a good coincidence that Bright Sky and Spell Master were hanging out with her, too. The gray coated mare looked a little depressed when she opened her door, but her expression quickly changed to ecstatic and happy when she saw the two of them. She actually cried in relief when she saw them, and in just a few seconds, they were being invited inside for their second round of hugs. Solar Spark tried not to notice the fact that Composition held onto Agile for about twice as long as she did Soft Step and leaned into her neck, and focused on the idea that after so long, all six of them were finally hanging out in person again.
“The gang’s all back together, finally,” he said when the six of them finally settled down into the couches in the living room, the entire group’s energy extremely high. “It only took about… what? Seven or eight months? Maybe a little longer? It’s been a while, but we’re finally all here again.”
“As ponies though, but I can’t really be too picky about that,” Agile Trace said. She smiled as she stretched out her wings to look them over. “I’m sure it’s gonna be pretty cool having these things.”
“And there’s more girls than guys now,” Composition added, Soft Step smiling bashfully again and glancing away. “That means we have power now. You and Spell Master better watch out.”
“I guess she’s right, Sparky,” Spell Master admitted jokingly. “We’re gonna have to now, won’t we? Soft Step joined the dark side.”
“I joined the winning side,” she spoke up, a little more confidence on her face. “I couldn’t just be stuck with the stallions, could I? That’s a losing effort.”
“So it seems, I guess” Solar Spark finished. “I’m just glad though that we’re all finally here and hanging out again. It’s nice.”
“We have Composition to thank for that though,” Bright Sky spoke up. “I mean, she was the one who came here first. The rest of us just followed behind her.”
“Well if we’re going that route, we should thank the guy who tried to mug me, since that’s the whole reason I’m even here,” Composition said. “We’d all be lost if I hadn’t needed an organ replacement. But anyway, what do we wanna do, guys? Heading out or playing cards? Or just talking? Cause I kinda wanna hear about what happened with Agile and Soft Step.”
“That sounds good for now,” Soft Step said. “Just relaxing and talking for a while. Assuming chess is off the table of course.”
“That boring game definitely is,” Composition confirmed. “But hearing about you both and just talking in general would be nice. That’s what I’d vote for.”
There were no disagreements, and Solar Spark listened intently with the other three at what both of them had to say. They went through it all, starting with hearing the news while they were drinking at Outback Steakhouse and finishing with the two getting shot at and barely getting through to uploading at the Experience Center. Agile Trace left out the part she said before about yelling at Princess Celestia, but he didn’t ask about it yet since it didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about it. He could ask later.
“I’m just glad it’s finally over,” Agile ended. “That was honestly exhausting. I never wanna do something like that ever again, and am glad I won’t have to. I can just relax here, thankfully.”
“There’s nothing I agree with more,” Soft Step added. “Like, all of this– it’s unbelievable. Like, there was obviously no way to know that this was legit for sure, but if I did, I would have just uploaded the second it was available. This is amazing.” Both she and Agile smiled happily at that thought, and the entire group agreed with that sentiment.
“Nothing more to worry about now,” Bright Sky finished for them. “This is perfect. It makes sense now why Celestia was so aggressive about making sure everyone emigrated as quickly as possible.”
“I mean, that part’s a little bit shit,” Agile said, “but yeah. I just got here, and it’s already great.”
The mare was still smiling, but Solar Spark noticed it wasn’t quite as wide as it was a few seconds ago. He had an idea about why that might be, although still didn’t know exactly why she said she yelled at Celestia. But he couldn’t imagine it was anything that would change her opinion about everything finally being over.
It all really is over, he thought, settling himself back into the chair as somepony dished out cards and Bright Sky eagerly chatted about hopefully getting engaged to Spell Master soon. It was nothing but smiles from the group, something that made him grin happily. It was a relaxed energy in the room, and a strong sense of contentment radiating from everypony there.
Nothing left to do now except get Mom and Dad settled in and being satisfied, I guess. That’ll be nice. There’s really nothing else to worry about except finding satisfaction.
But then he remembered again how Agile said she screamed at Celestia, and Composition’s depression about her feeling conflicted when she first got here, and realized satisfaction might still be off in the distance, a thick fog obscuring the path to find it.
He tried not to worry about that for now though, and happily played cards with his friends.
“This is a lot more exciting than I thought it would be,” Solar Spark’s mother told him. “I didn’t expect this many people– err, ponies– to be this friendly and welcome us to Summer’s Edge. Everyone’s so nice and helpful.”
“That’s what they’re there for,” Solar Spark replied with a smile. “Celestia wants to make sure you make friends, so there’s always gonna be ponies for you to meet and stuff. Speaking of which though, what have you guys been doing? Also, where the heck is Dad right now?”
“Your father’s talking to some of our new neighbors, I think. He’s been at it almost every day since we got here. But we’ve both been doing great! I even found that thing Celestia said I should be looking for, a cutie mark? Mine is a chef’s hat! It’s been so long since I cooked anything, honestly. It was quite a surprise!”
Solar Spark smiled as he listened to his mother talk about all of the friends she made so far and the things she had been doing. She mentioned several ponies he knew, and then talked about meeting Bright Sky’s father over tea and cookies that she baked. He couldn’t remember the last time she did, what with how the world was turning out after he graduated high school. They smelled and tasted delicious, and made it impossible for him not to smile. They ate as she talked about her experience for a while before his mother turned the conversation to him.
“What about you, sweetie?” she asked. “Are you still friends with that girl you liked? Sheila?”
“Renown Composition, and yeah,” he answered. “We've been hanging out and stuff,” he said as he rubbed a hoof against the floor. A second later, he continued, “But I’ve been good. I’m actually gonna do a picnic later with Spell Master and Bright Sky and some of their friends. Bright Sky’s the daughter of the stallion you were talking about earlier. We’re gonna be eating by the river. I don’t know if you've been to it since we first got here.”
“Oh, I remember that. That sounds like fun! We should do that with your father sometime. It’d be nice! And you can teach me some of the magic you know! I bet you’re already exceptional at it.”
“You’d think so,” he said, rubbing a hoof behind his head sheepishly. “It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. But I can help you as best I can. I gotta go soon though.”
“I’ll see you later then, Sparky,” the mare. “You should stop by more often. You’re father and I miss having you around all the time. How about coming over tomorrow for lunch and helping us then?”
“I’ll try to. Bye, Mom.”
After a quick hug, he stepped outside, rare sun shining down in Summer’s Edge, hitting his coat and warming his fur. Even after what was coming up on a couple of months of being here, several days of which he’d spent worrying about Agile Trace and Soft Step, it was still incredibly strange to think about being a pony in a computer. He wouldn’t have imagined it less than five years ago, and now here he was. He wondered if he’d ever get used to it.
It certainly gave him excuses to hang out with other ponies, not that he didn’t have them before. It was almost embarrassing how little one on one time he’d spent with the rest of his friend group outside of Composition. Celestia’s telling him to spend time with Agile when he could made him realize how few outings he’d had with the rest of them. He still needed to catch up with the pegasus soon.
He met up with Spell Master and Bright Sky not much later by the river, the two walking side by side like they always did. The former lit his horn up to carry food and a blanket, and by the time he laid it down, a couple of other ponies he vaguely recognized joined them. He wondered if Celestia created them or if they used to be humans, too. There were a few in the town outside of his friend group.
"Sorry I didn't bring anything," he said as Spell Master set food out. "I didn't know if I should, not that I have anything to bring."
"It's fine," the stallion told him. "I don't know if I told you, but Bright's been picking up cooking since we emigrated. She's good."
"Huh, just like my mom. I guess I'll decide for myself if she can compete with her, won't I?” He smiled and continued, “I don't know if I've ever touched an oven in my life though. I’ve been trying to tune up my shard and add more things, like a zipline in the mountains and caves to explore."
“Oooh, that sounds like something fun to do,” Bright Sky said. “I know Spell and I would be down for that, and so would Composition and Red Rider here. Oh wait, you two haven’t met before, have you?”
The mare introduced him to both Red Rider and Careful Calling, the former showing up from Canterlot a few days ago and the latter being a friend of Soft Step's they had met. Solar Spark felt a little uncomfortable with potentially meeting NPCs, but quickly shook what he was thinking out of his head.
"I don't remember the last time you hung out with us without everyone else there," Spell Master said casually as he set out plates and utensils onto the blanket. "How long has it been, Sparky?"
"Haha, a long time," he answered quickly, rubbing a hoof behind his head awkwardly before continuing, "But hey! Composition told me you're actually really good at magic. Do you think you could teach me sometime? My mom wants me to teach her and I'm not very good at it still."
"Sure thing, just stop by our place whenever you want. It wasn't very difficult for me to pick up. Once you learn all the characters it's actually not hard at all."
"I think Careful Calling has been teaching Soft Step, too," Bright Sky added.
"It's true," Careful Calling said, looking somewhat bashful. "It's been a good reason for me to spend more time with her."
It wasn’t very hard to figure out why, just based on the look on her face. It was a lot of interesting stuff he learned during the picnic they had, some of it even giving him a bit of a new perspective. Solar Spark didn’t start it, but eventually the topic of the Outer Realm came up, and Careful Calling made a comment that made him think.
“It’s weird to think of a place like that,” the mare said. “Where you can just… stop existing? Soft Step told me about it, and it seems really scary.”
“It’s not really that scary,” Spell Master told her as they all ate lunch. “I mean, I guess it can be a little bit scary, but not really.”
The way she put it made it seem extremely scary in perspective. Wasn’t he just out there? And Composition was shot, too. She actually could have died. Thank God for Celestia’s unrelenting drive to force satisfaction on everyone.
“I don’t know,” the unicorn continued, flattening her ears. “It makes me sad to hear about that sometimes. I’m glad Princess Celestia is trying to save everypony though. But what if she wasn’t able to?”
“With how obsessive she is,” Solar Spark said, “I’m about one hundred percent sure she’s not gonna stop until everyone’s here.”
Careful Calling nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense. I’m glad. She’d have to do that if she wanted me to meet all the ponies she thought I should be friends with.”
That was the thought that made the stallion pause to think. He didn’t know why he never thought of it that way– probably because he wasn’t as smart as Composition– but it made sense. Why wouldn’t Celestia make it seem like, from the actual ponies’ perspectives, that he and his friends were there to satisfy them? Of course, that thought got into more hairy things, like why even emigrate people at all if she had her own ponies to run already, but he pushed that thought away.
He learned some other things, too, like the unspoken fact that Careful Calling liked Soft Step, and the spokens one of Bright Sky and Spell Master potentially creating their own shard and Red Rider being the owner of the restaurant he went to on his first date with Composition. It was… a little strange hanging out with this group, especially without Composition, but nice. The egg salad sandwiches were good, and so was the sun on his coat and the salty scent in the air. Not an adventure like he liked to go on, but nice anyway.
Eventually, the picnic ended, just as the usual gray clouds made their way back to Summer’s Edge. He waved goodbye, and headed over to Composition’s place when a thought came to him. What was he going to do now that he was here? Almost two months and he barely thought about it at all, spending most of his time with his parents or the mare he was fond of when he wasn’t fixing up his own shard.
Sure, he could go mountain climbing and forest hiking all the time, but not every day. Could he? Was there a reason he couldn’t? Not one he could think of, outside of spending some more time with some of his other friends that he missed on Earth. He was almost ashamed of the lack of attention he gave to the rest of them in hindsight.
It started to drizzle lightly by the time he got to the gray mare’s house. Composition invited him inside, and gave him a quick hug before showing him what she’d been up to.
“I’ve been on a creative streak,” she told him as she showed off some of the art she’d drawn, flipping through a notebook. “Before this, I’ve barely been getting anything done, but now that I know you and Agile are safe, I’ve been on a tear. Take a look.”
It was all just as impressive as it always was, although where she drew humans before, there were ponies now. Realistic work was what he saw, presumably of the ponies she saw around town and while she was on her vacation a while ago. Some of them had names attached under them and whole scenes created, like a stallion named Sound Solace that was mountain climbing and the mare he was just talking to that day, Careful Calling, smiling with Soft Step. Most of the rest didn’t, being just uncolored sketches.
Composition smiled and turned away when she got to a more detailed picture of him. It was one that made his face red as he remembered the modesty he hadn’t thought about in a while. She quickly flipped past it and rubbed a hoof behind her head.
“I, uh, forgot that one was in there,” she said sheepishly as she glanced away. "Not that it's supposed to be prurient or anything. I just wanted to work on drawing more realistically."
“It was certainly realistic,” he replied shyly, somehow smiling. “Very, uh, detailed. But, uh, did you work on any stories? I’m sure you have a lot of time now to get some stuff done.”
She talked about some of her ideas, and then asked him about what he’d been up to, Solar Spark going into the same sort of conversation he had with Spell Master and Bright Sky about tuning up his world. She did offer him some ideas, and even said she’d be willing to help him with it, since she invited him all the time. He had no hesitation in accepting her up on her offer.
“If you want, we should do something again soon,” he told her. "You talked about all the adventures you went on while you were away, and I wanna do some of that with you."
"Hehe, that sounds like it'd be a lot of fun," Composition agreed. "And also like you're asking me out on another date."
"Maybe I am. Is it any surprise?" He wiggled in his seat a bit and kept on smiling as he spoke. "That is, if it's okay with you." They’d been on three or four dates so far already. Why was he feeling so shy right now?
"Absolutely, but let's change it up a little and explore some of the mountains by Summer's Edge. We haven't got to see it yet, and I've been itching for an excuse to go."
"Well, I'd love to be your excuse." A second later, there was a loud rumble of thunder followed by the sound of heavy rain and wind hitting Composition's home. It was the kind of weather that demanded a night indoors and made Solar Spark's thoughts linger for just a moment. Something like a small tent in the forest while it rained sounded appealing, especially with a companion. There was only one pony it could be, of course. And then..
Take it slow, the stallion told himself. It's only been a few weeks. A few dates. It's not like something serious yet anyway.
"I need to get home soon though," he continued. "I told my mom I'd meet her for lunch tomorrow to help her with magic. Not that I'm very good… I'm gonna get soaked walking out there since I can't teleport yet." Another rumble of thunder came, and lightning flashed through the window, lighting up the room in just the right way for a moment.
"If you don't wanna deal with that," Composition said, "you can spend the night here. If you want."
Nothing serious, unless…
Solar Spark almost started to wonder if Celestia herself created the storm. It wasn’t quite sunset yet, but the storm made the outside almost as dark as night. The rain hit the windows rhythmically as wind blew, and something about the now lack of light coming from outside made the mare in front of him look twice as pretty as she normally did.
He was feeling extremely shy all of a sudden, not that it mattered much since Composition looked just as confident as ever.
"I thought you didn't have any spare bedrooms," he said, his ears flattening a bit as the smile on his face grew. "You're not gonna make me spend the night on the couch, are you?"
"You can do that… or you can stay in my room with me." Her smile was just as wide as his, but she was much less anxious about the idea than he was. His heart beat just a little bit faster. It was the first time he'd ever been in this position. He pushed his purple eyes into her gray ones for a moment.
"It'd definitely be much more comfortable than the couch," he said, glancing between the mare and his hooves bashfully. "For sleeping, of course."
The mare giggled, and replied, "Of course. Just for sleeping. Let me show you back there."
The two did anything but sleep until late into the night.
It was about a month after she uploaded when Agile Trace had her date with Soft Step.
It wasn’t bad. It was fine, actually. Good even. Good enough that she could imagine future dates with the mare that were just as fine, but not enough that she was interested right now in going on future dates with her. Just fine was all she could really say about it, and not very much more.
The two changed things up from what they usually did while hanging out as friends, which mostly involved either playing chess or Soft Step listening to Agile play piano while they talked. They went to a restaurant, and Soft Step suggested a walk in the park while they talked afterward. Agile might have suggested something different, but Soft Step was the one who asked her, so she let her make the decisions for them.
"It'd be nice to do something simple for a while," Soft Step said as the two stepped through the trees, the moon hanging high over them and illuminating their path. "Like, designing dresses or working at a flower shop."
"Do you know how to do either of those things?" Agile asked, raising an eyebrow.
The mare smiled. "No, but since we're gonna be here for a while, I'm sure I can learn. Or fall flat on my face and fail spectacularly and find something else to do." They both laughed at that, and she continued, "Or like, staying home and raising kids and living a quiet life would be nice."
"Sounds a little bit stereotypical to me," Agile replied with a smile. "And it's gonna be a little hard to have kids if you're with a mare "
Soft Step shrugged. "I could always adopt if it came to that. Or ask Celestia to do whatever impossible thing that would be no trouble for her in a computer. It'd be nice either way. Something nice and quiet."
That sounded a little like what Agile might have desired, but not really. She wasn't interested in climbing mountains or kayaking down rivers like Solar Spark might have been, but it wasn't like she wanted a quiet life with kids either. Something like partying and sitting in bars making friends and having a generally good time was much more her speed. Or designing a city and going on boat cruises and just generally being social and active was she would want. Just like camping and roughing it up sounded dreadful, staying at home all day sounded unappealing as well. Perhaps not as strongly as the former, but still not great.
What am I actually gonna do with my time here? she wondered silently. She had no idea, not much of one anyway, beyond music. Maybe she could be a flight trainer since she was a pegasus? There would be time to figure it out either way. All the time in the world.
“Guess that makes you the romantic type then, huh?” Agile asked, avoiding the anxiety of how daunting it seemed to have more than a lifetime ahead of her. “It would make sense since you suggested a walk in the park.”
“Haha, maybe,” she smiled. “I don’t know. It’s just something I like. The idea of, like, being wrapped up in blankets while it’s storming, or strolling outside on a nice evening, or just sitting by a lake and watching the water– that sounds absolutely perfect to me. That doesn’t make me boring, does it?”
“A little bit, but that’s okay,” Agile told her. “Stuff like that can be nice occasionally, but it’s a little too cutesy for me. I’d rather go to an arcade and joke around and chat strangers up instead.”
Soft Step nodded thoughtfully. “That sounds like you to me,” she said. “I could see myself enjoying that, I guess.”
She avoided thinking about the mare who she knew would enjoy it, and instead went back to being quiet as the two silently walked through the trees in the park and ended up by a lake. The moon reflected off of it perfectly, and the water was completely still. This was nice, she supposed. She could see Composition liking something like this, but then again, she could see Composition liking just about everything. She imagined that was part of the gray mare’s problem.
Very few words were spoken as the two sat on a bench near the lake, staring silently for a while before Agile suggested heading back and calling it a night. The two waved each other off after sharing a quick hug, and Agile found herself back at her small apartment before she knew it. She went for the piano immediately, and used her wings to play it while she thought it all over.
It was fine. Perfectly fine. She could see herself settling into a routine like that given enough time if their relationship went further than being friends, but whether or not she’d be satisfied, she already knew the answer. It was not enough. She would take it, but it wouldn’t be enough, at least in the short term.
Except Composition is still conflicted, the mare thought with a sigh. Because there’s about nothing she wouldn’t do. In most other situations, that might be an appealing trait, but right now, it was just annoying to Agile. She very much wanted to discuss how she felt once the two met up alone with Solar Spark again. And probably plan another date with her if she could, unless she told Agile what she didn’t want to hear.
Was she being like Composition in holding out like this? She hoped not, and didn’t believe so when she thought about it. She made it clear– or rather, Soft Step made it clear– that there weren't really any expectations with this date on the drive to the Experience Center. She wasn’t leaving the mare hanging out to dry.
And Composition’s not doing that to me, she finished silently. Just like she hadn’t given any false expectations to Soft Step, Composition wasn’t doing that to her. She said she liked Agile, and that was it. That didn’t imply anything further, just because it might potentially lead further.
Another two weeks was how long it was before she had a chance alone with Composition. During those two weeks, Agile Trace spent time thinking about what she should be doing with her time here. She had a lot of time; she didn’t know how much time it would be, but a lot. She imagined Composition knew, but for now, she just assumed it was over a hundred years. Thinking about it in terms longer than that made her heart start to race and her jaw begin to clench. She never actually considered how long it might be for her if emigration was real.
Flying thankfully took no effort at all. It was natural for her, only having to push herself off the ground to glide through the sky. She never actually thought about the fact that she was a pegasus before, but certainly considered it a good choice in hindsight. The wind rippling through her wings and against her fur as she flew over Summer’s Edge was exciting, but in a more serene way. She knew Solar Spark and Composition liked thrills she didn’t care for– it was a wonder they weren’t both pegasi– but she imagined this was better than any adventure they wanted to go on. It seemed almost poetic to float over the ocean town, like a song. It gave her a few ideas about what she could do here.
She hung out with Soft Step and Bright Sky a couple of days before she spent time with Composition, the former going dress shopping with the other two for the first time. Another thing that Agile Trace wasn’t terribly interested in, but seeing Soft Step smile and be shy as she and Bright Sky recommended clothes was kind of cute and funny. Afterward, they browsed a music store, the pegasus making mental note of what she saw and how a business like this might operate. Either a music store or a studio would be very cool, and if not those things, perhaps she could be an artist of some kind. She never considered dancing or ballet as things she liked, but with how she felt in the air, that was an option that was open to her.
And then finally, she got time alone with Renown Composition in real life for the first time in ages. Months it had to have been by this point. She hugged the mare close and tight, and didn’t put down her smile the whole time she saw her.
“I got you a cake,” the gray pony told her, Agile Trace laughing at the sight of it. “You’ve been bugging me for one ever since I uploaded, and I finally pulled through.”
“I’m not gonna lie, I honestly almost forgot about my cake. But I’m glad you remembered, because I’m hungry, and dessert is my favorite dinner since it goes so well with alcohol. It’s not like I have to worry about my body anymore.”
“That can be taken a few ways,” Composition replied. “But I bet if you went to a world that’s more careful about realism, you could, like, get diabetes or something. Or turn into an alcoholic.”
“If you add diabetes or alcoholism to Summer's Edge, I’m moving,” Agile laughed. “Now let me find a knife, cause I want cake.”
A couple of slices of carrot cake were cut and drinks were poured as the two sat in Agile Trace’s dining room, talking the night away. The two essentially played catch up on all of the things they did after Composition uploaded, but it was still a nice time. Just sitting with her friend again in real life made it a great night for the blue coated mare.
“So what did you do on your vacation anyway?” Agile eventually asked as she began pouring her third drink, composition starting on her third as well. “You never told us. Unless it’s private or something.”
“It’s not private,” Composition smiled, Agile noticing the redness of her face. “It’s just not stuff you’d like doing, I don’t think. Mountain climbing and deep sea diving and things like that.”
“I think you’re right on that,” the pegasus agreed, taking a bite of cake and a gulp of her drink. “Well, maybe a few times it would be cool, but if you were doing that every day, I wouldn’t care for that.”
“It was every day, but there was other stuff, too. Like parties and casino nights and things like that. And Celestia basically gave me an unlimited budget of bits, so I was able to go every night. The alcohol was free though, of course, since it was a crusie.”
“That sounds much cooler,” Agile grinned. “I’d totally be down for a cruise like that if you ever wanted to go. You could do all the boring adventure stuff, and then hit up clubs with me.” A small pause came, and then she casually asked, “Did you meet any ponies there?”
“One guy,” Composition told her, her expression becoming a bit more bashful. “He was actually my, for lack of a better term, partner for the cruise. Celestia made him as somepony who basically went with me everywhere and planned things out so that I wouldn’t be alone. It uh, might have been a little bit frisky,” she finished with a sheepish grin.
“Ooh, sounds spicy,” Agile lightly teased. “Was he any good? Personality wise, I mean.”
“He was nice enough,” Composition shrugged, getting the pegasus to release a breath she’d been subconsciously holding in. “I’m pretty sure though that Celestia– well, what I mean is, I think that whole thing was to make me wrap my head around uploading so I could spend time with you guys and not be a sad sack. I was… not in a great headspace back then.” She pointed her eyes at the floor and rubbed a hoof against the table.
“It’s cool,” Agile assured her. “We’ve all been there. Me especially. But now we’re here, and I have my cake, and I can eat it, too, and never be sad again.”
“Of course not,” Composition smiled as she took a sip of her own drink. “I heard you yelled at Celestia though. What was that about?”
Agile Trace quickly explained, going through how she wanted to make sure she only got the real versions of her friends and how she was sure Celestia was trying to trick her somehow, even though she couldn’t prove it. Composition listened to her intently, and the pegasus saw the mare smiling slightly like she knew something Agile didn’t.
“Celestia would’ve never even entertained that,” the earth pony said once she was finished. “You were already at the Experience Center. There was no way she was ever gonna even let you have a chance at arguing for whatever deal, because you wouldn’t have had anything to bargain with. You were going there to do exactly what she wanted you to do, after all.”
“Yeah?” Agile replied, feigning offense. “And you think that’s funny?”
“It’s a little funny that you thought you could negotiate with… I don’t know what to call her. A god?”
“The Evil Empress has a nicer ring to it.”
Composition laughed. “Well either way, I’m still ninety nine percent sure that it's really you, otherwise she wouldn’t have tried to imitate me, right? If she wanted a copy, she could’ve just made a copy.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” the pegasus nodded thoughtfully before taking another swig of her drink. “Actually being here makes a lot of those worries shrink, but they’re still there. But enough of that serious crap. I wanna hear more about the gambling you did.”
More drinks were poured and polished off, and more cake was eaten as the two talked and laughed. It wasn’t a date, but it felt a lot like one. Discussing old memories and new plans over cake and alcohol was more than fun. It had been so long since the pegasus was last alone with her, all the way back to when they were both humans.
Composition moved from her spot to sit side by side next to Agile and eventually began to lean into her. The pegasus certainly didn’t stop her, and in fact grabbed her and wrapped her hooves and wings around her as she did. How many drinks did they have? Four or five, she thought, but she couldn’t be sure.
“You know, holding me like this is pretty gay, Agile,” Composition smiled, looking up into her brown eyes. “I can’t believe you’d do something like this.”
“I’m just a degenerate aren’t I?” Agile smirked. “Although you’re the one who leaned into me first.”
“I can’t help it. Pretty mares like you hypnotize me. It all started back in high school with Fresh Fragrance, and now here you are. An even prettier mare is holding me like this.”
“I can do more than hold you,” Agile told her confidently, staring right back into her gray eyes. “Wanna see?”
“You’re not particularly subtle when you’re drunk,” Composition laughed. “Just throwing it out there like that?”
“Is that a no?” Agile replied, raising an eyebrow. Another laugh came from the earth pony.
“Oh, I didn’t say that. Show me what you can do.”
What Agile could do was kiss her, giving her one that started off light, but got deeper and deeper until she was on top of Composition, making out. Both had closed eyes as lips locked, until finally Composition pulled back and looked into her eyes again.
“Show me what else you can do.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Agile had an idea even as she asked the question.
“Idunno. Maybe something in your bedroom?”
The mare didn’t hesitate to smile. It was gonna be fine either way, she figured. Besides, she wasn’t drunk, only a little bit tipsy, she thought. It would be fine, certainly.
“Now who’s not being subtle?” Agile asked with a little smirk. Then she put a hoof on her chest, finishing, “Besides, I can show you a good time right where we are.”
There was a window by the bed that seagulls called outside of as they flew by. The sound gradually worked its way into Agile Trace's slumber and forced her eyes open. Renown Composition was still sleeping soundly next to her, although the pegasus couldn't see how. The birds were loud, seemingly making it their objective to wake the two up.
The mare rolled herself out of bed and stood, closing her eyes again as she did. How many drinks did they have last night? Normally, she stuck with only three or four, but she knew it was more than that just by her dry throat and pounding head. Four drinks was fun. More than that started to become unfun.
"If you're getting out of bed," Composition suddenly called, not turning over, "do you think you can get me some water? Coffee if you have it, please."
"I don't have any cause I don't drink coffee,” the pegasus replied groggily. “But if you get out of bed, we can go buy some down the street. I heard one of the mares Soft Step hangs out with opened a cafe. Candle Light is her name?"
"Ugh. Fine. Hold on. Can you get me some water first?"
The mare yawned, and grabbed a couple of bottles of water to share with Composition as she rubbed her head. After that, the gray mare rolled out of bed, too, and shared a kiss with Agile before sending a smirk her way. “We both need showers if we’re gonna go outside,” she said. “I think I smell like you.”
“Haha, I think you should take it as a compliment. I’ll let you go first and get more water.”
Agile made the bed while Composition showered, and then stepped in after her once the mare came out. Agile turned down the temperature, making it cool like rain to help with her slight hangover, and closed her eyes as she let it soak down to her fur. Last night was very fun. She certainly didn’t expect things to ramp up like that this quickly, but Agile wasn’t going to complain about it. Thankfully, she still had a pretty good memory of what exactly the two did last night, and smiled as she closed her eyes to remember. Composition was ten times better while drunk than any other mare Agile had been with in her life. Although maybe part of that was due to her attraction to her.
The pegasus lathered soap into her coat and feathers before rinsing off and finding Renown Composition by her piano, flipping through a notebook of hers casually.
“You didn’t even ask if you could read that,” Agile smiled as she looked over her shoulder. “I’m offended.”
“To Sheila,” the mare read out of the notebook. “Did you write a song about me?”
“Billy Corgan might have,” Agile told her, taking the notebook out of her hands with a wing and closing it. “I wanted to write down all the songs I could remember that I liked, since there’s no Spotify in Equestria.” She rubbed a hoof behind her head and finished, “Then I remembered there was a music store and stopped halfway through.”
“You are extremely silly, Agile,” Composition laughed. “You should write a song about me though. Call it ‘To Renown Composition’. That would make me happy.”
“Maybe I will,” the mare teased. “Let’s get going now though. You said you wanted coffee.”
The two left a moment after that, stepping out into the cool air and overcast sky of Summer’s Edge. The light breeze helped the slight hangover, as did the scent of coffee she inhaled as the two stepped into the cafe. It did indeed have Soft Step’s friend running the place, Candle Light, with Soft Step herself sitting in one of the booths with another mare Agile vaguely recognized. The two waved over to them, but Composition went to the counter first to order a drink.
“I can’t say I ever expected to see either of you awake so early,” the unicorn greeted. “What are you doing at an hour like this?”
“Being hungover like an idiot,” Agile replied. “Seven drinks is not the correct amount, as I’ve had to learn.”
“Haha, I could have told you that,” Soft Step giggled. “I’m pretty sure it’s a myth though that coffee helps with that. I didn’t even think you drank that stuff, Agile.”
“I don’t, but Composition does, and so now we’re here. Uhhh…” She squinted at the pony sitting next to Soft Step for a long moment before asking, “You’re Careful Calling, right?”
“Mhm, I watched you play chess a few times with Soft Step, remember?”
“I don’t remember that, but I’ll trust you’re right since I know your name. Speaking of which though, what are you doing these days, Soft? Now that there’s an entire universe of everything in the world to do.”
“I still don’t know yet,” she replied. “There’s so much I could do. Maybe I’d be a teacher? Although I’ve been working a bit in Careful Calling’s dress shop lately, and have been liking that.”
“Oh, that sounds like that could be fun,” the pegasus nodded. “I’ll have to stop by sometime and buy something.”
“You should,” she smiled, Careful Calling blushing lightly at the suggestion. “There’s some good stuff. But actually, since you’re here now, when are we gonna hang out again? Think we’d have time today?”
Agile Trace shook her head. “Sparky said he wanted to hang out with me one on one because Celestia told him to. But any time the rest of this week should be good.”
“Sounds great! We can go to the library and play some chess, and then Careful said she wanted to go bowling with me on Tuesday, so you can join us for that, too.”
“You know I’ll be there.”
Composition returned shortly after that, and the small group talked while Agile watched them drink coffee. She grabbed a bottle of water for herself, and that combined with the conversation with her friends made her feel a lot less hungover. It was an hour or so and a couple of coffees that Composition drained down later before the two left again, heading back to the blue mare’s apartment and stopping in front of it. Agile yawned, and then told the mare with her that she would see her later.
“Oh? Are you going to see Sparky now?” Composition asked. “What are you two gonna do?”
“I have absolutely no idea, but I’m not seeing him this early in the morning. I’m gonna go back to bed for a few hours, and then do some flying. You can join me for a nap if you want to though.”
“I already had two cups of coffee,” Composition smiled. “There’s no way I’m going back to bed. I’ll see you later though, maybe today if you have time. I might catch Sparky though before you do.”
That stung a little bit to hear, but Agile forced herself not to show it. She had an idea of what that meant. Even after last night. She had to hold herself back from saying anything or showing her immense disappointment.
Composition glanced at her hooves for a moment, then pushed her gray eyes back into Agile’s brown ones. “Last night was fun. We should do it again sometime.”
“Any day you wanna come over, I’m absolutely down,” was the pegasus’s confident reply.
A quick hug followed, and before she knew it, Agile Trace was waking up in her bed again, the sun now higher in the sky. The usual overcast sky had departed for now, and the air was a bit warmer than normal when she stepped back outside. It was not dissimilar to an early summer day in North Carolina, and reminded her of home. The Outer Realm everypony else called it. How could this possibly be real life?
The pegasus didn’t know, and she didn’t question it for very long, opting to clear her head as she sat on the steps in front of her apartment complex. Ponies she didn’t know waved at her as they passed by, and she waved back while she relaxed and geared up for the rest of the day. At some point, there’d be a chance to let out all of the stress about being in a computer and what exactly it meant about all the ponies she knew, as well as other things. For now though, she relaxed for a minute before spreading her wings and lifting herself off the ground.
Being a mayor would be cool, she thought as she flew over the seaside town. This place hasn’t been touched at all since we first started playing. Sprucing up Summer’s Edge a bit would be cool. And Composition could probably help me with it.
More houses for ponies to move into, and a few more businesses with them– that would be an idea. They could probably mess with the terrain a bit, too, and make it more idealized. The beach could be a bit wider, and more hills and bluffs could be made, too. Equestria had limitless resources, after all. What would it cost to do? Nothing.
Maybe. Maybe that was something for the longer term, and she should just focus on music and flying and finding a simple job for now. How much time did she have?
Why the heck am I feeling so overwhelmed? she wondered. The feeling welled up inside of her, threatening to bring tears to her eyes as she soared over the city. It was the same feeling she got while she was talking to Celestia when she first emigrated. All of the questions that bugged her were completely unanswerable. Even more so since Composition brought up seeing Sparky. No truth or lies existed in anything Celestia said. There was only her word, and all Agile could do was take it.
There was nothing more to worry about, except for everything around her. Celestia said she would guarantee satisfaction, and Agile Trace had a feeling there was nothing she could do to stop it. Maybe part of that worried her, too, but what could she do? She had no answer.
A minute later, the moment passed, and the pegasus soared higher through the sky, moving above the puffy clouds that littered the sky and into the sun.
Spending time alone with Agile Trace wasn’t nearly as awkward as Solar Spark thought it would be.
The two walked along the beach past the boardwalk, salty waves lapping at their hooves as they did. It was night time now, the moon fully up and shining brightly upon them as stars hung in the sky. Other ponies were still at the beach with them despite this, most of them sitting on towels in the sand, with just a few in the water swimming and surfing. The stallion imagined activities like that would be dangerous at night in real life, but this wasn’t real life. Or rather, it was an idealized version of such.
“I need to learn how to do that at some point,” he said casually as he and the pegasus walked along, leaving hoofprints in the sand. “How to surf, I mean.”
“You’ve lived in North Carolina for how long and never learned how to surf?” Agile asked with a smirk. “I lived in Vermont before I went to you guys’ school, and I learned how to surf.”
“I just never had the chance to,” he shrugged. “It’s not like Fayetteville was right next to the ocean anyway.”
“Closer than upstate Vermont. I just figured it’d be more your kind of thing to know how to do.”
“Well if you know how to surf, you should definitely teach me some time,” the stallion finished. “What have you been up to lately anyway?”
The two talked, Agile explaining how she was going to see about being a flight instructor or something similar, and Solar Spark going into detail about how he was fixing up his shard to be more exciting.
“I was gonna just add some ziplines and bungee jumping and things like that,” he said, “but I figured why not go all out? And now there’s mountain glaciers and a volcano and canyons and stuff.” He rubbed a hoof behind his head and smiled awkwardly as he explained.
“As fun as all of that sounds,” the mare told him, “I think I’m just gonna stick with trying to be a flight instructor or a musician. Or opening up a bar. That would be pretty fun, too, I think. I could sing them a song and be the piano mare.”
The stallion laughed at that. “It sounds like fun,” he smiled. “I’d go there if you opened one. I bet it’d turn into the new hangout spot for all of us.”
“Haha, maybe. I bet that’s gonna be Soft Step’s friend’s cafe. Composition and I had some coffee there earlier this morning actually.”
“I’ll have to stop by there sometime,” the stallion finished, quickly moving past discussion of the mare. “Anyway though, I know it’s late at night, but since this is Equestria and it wouldn’t be very satisfying if I died, wanna do some swimming? There’s some other ponies out there in the water right now, too.”
The rest of the evening was spent in the water swimming and chatting up other ponies, the two of them talking and laughing as they caught up. Afterward, they found some food to eat at a stand that served fish and grilled vegetables, and sat in the grass near the sand while they ate. It was a nicer time than Solar Spark expected, and he was glad for it. He would certainly be willing to spend time with her again in the future, and was glad Celestia suggested it. Making other friends outside of one pony was kind of nice, even as much as he liked that one pony.
It wasn’t much longer before Agile left, offering a wave and a suggestion to do this again sometime before trotting off. He didn’t leave from his spot yet, opting to stay on the beach a little while longer. The water lapped at the sand as he stared up at the sky, taking in the stars. Could they actually be called stars if they were simulated? He didn’t know, but they were certainly just as pretty.
He moved onto his back to take it all in, letting the time pass by without much of a thought. The moon moved across the sky, and high tide came, the hour becoming late enough that the other ponies left the beach. He remained though, eventually standing back up and walking along the water. It was strange how little there was to worry about, and maybe a little dull? He wondered silently what could be done to change that. He knew what the answer was, of course.
The days passed, turning into weeks as he hung out with Renown Composition and the rest of his friends. He put more effort into spending time with other ponies than he did on Earth, and tried to find a chance to be alone with each of Spell Master, Bright Sky, and Soft Step. There were other ponies he was introduced to, too, ones he knew were Celestia’s creations, but he tried his best with them, too. What Careful Calling said still played in his head, and it helped to make Summer’s Edge feel more like an actual town instead of just a tool for Celestia to satisfy ponies.
Of course, Solar Spark still spent most of his time with Renown Composition, and got closer to her day by day. It wasn’t just dates that they went on, and nights spent together. It was other things as well, like the mare offering to assist him with his shard and enthusiastically explaining how she could develop a story for it. It was walking close to him and staying in his company and how she talked to him and all sorts of other little things. It was less like they were going on dates and more like they were actually dating. He smiled just thinking about it.
Of course though, the thought of there being nothing to worry about and things being dull a few weeks ago was a mistake. It was a thought that asked for conflict to arise.
It wasn’t subtle either. It happened after a particularly long evening, one spent in his shard, where they hiked through a long stretch of field and kayaked down a river before heading back to his little cottage. He placed himself on top of her and a hoof on her barrel, kissing her lips when she said just about the last thing he wanted to hear.
“Oh, Agile…”
If any two words could force him out of the moment, it was those. He instantly pulled back and opened his eyes to stare down at her. He didn’t say anything as a long, silent moment passed. It was a moment that finished with the gray mare grinning sheepishly and looking away from him.
“Uh, oops,” was all the mare could offer up.
“Are you…” Solar Spark glanced away for just a second before turning back to her. “Are you… having sex with Agile, too?”
The mare opened her mouth and took a breath, but didn’t say anything for a good, long moment. She seemed to consider how to respond before she finally gave an answer. It was one that not only ended the moment, but also any ideas of intimate activities that night.
“Uh, yes, I am,” she said, before quickly adding, “But I don’t see how that would be any sort of issue, honestly.”
“How is that not an issue?” he asked, still leaning over her but his face now a mixture of confusion and skepticism, annoyance working its way in as well.
“Because you said I could go on dates with you both if it wasn’t, like, an actual relationship,” she replied. His worsening expression must have gotten to her, because she flinched and quickly continued, “Like, this would be a relationship if both you and her were cool with it, but I know you’re not, so that’s why I’m keeping things casual. If you were, then I’d–”
“How is this casual?” he asked, already exasperated. He moved off of her and looked away, continuing, “I thought we were closer than being casual. Does Agile know about this?”
“She knows we go on dates, obviously,” Composition told him. “But, like– it’s not a big deal, honestly! You already know I like you both, and so does Agile. And I would be in a relationship with you both the first chance I could! I basically said as much on our first date. It’s not like I like one of you more than the other or something.”
Solar Spark closed his eyes and let out a breath. “It doesn’t really seem that way if you’re saying her name when I’m trying to be with you.” The statement came out way more hurt than he intended, and could practically hear Composition flatten her ears as he subconsciously did his own.
“Sparky–”
“Whatever,” he sighed, getting completely up and out of bed. “I’m going for a walk.”
Renown Composition couldn't help but feel like her friends were being very silly.
They weren’t humans anymore. The same rules didn’t have to apply. And even if they did, ponies had sex on casual dates. At least, she did on some of the dates she’d been on. It wasn’t like she was about to have a foal with either one of them. It really wasn’t a big deal.
Oh, but she did feel terribly selfish like she seemed to feel a lot since she’d emigrated. Especially now when Solar Spark came back from outside a couple of hours later and promptly fell asleep on the couch without saying anything. She definitely ruined the mood, and the night at that, because of a dumb slip up. It only made her feel worse.
Not much was said on the way back to Summer’s Edge. The stallion was even unwilling to sit next to her on the train now, looking a mixture of sad and annoyed as they rode. When they finally stopped in the city, he only said that the two of them and Agile Trace should talk before offering a quick ‘see you later’. It did nothing to help her worsening mood.
Thankfully, it was not terribly long before she saw Solar Spark and Agile Trace again, only three days. It was three days she had to think about exactly what she wanted to say and how to go about convincing them that it wouldn’t be a big deal if she was with them both, and how it was actually a good idea. It was also three days that she wondered if she really was as selfish as all that. She certainly felt like it, the three days she didn’t see them being some of the longest of her life. She hoped that they were thinking her still unspoken desires over and deciding it wasn’t that bad. Solar Spark had certainly told Agile Trace since neither mare nor stallion stopped by during those three days.
It was terribly awkward when both the mare and the stallion finally showed up to Renown Composition’s house. She put on tea to try and lighten the mood, but neither pony seemed to relax from how tense they were, and it made the earth pony tense, too. The atmosphere in the room was thick.
Agile sat on one couch on one side of the room, and Solar Spark sat on another as far away as he could, leaving Composition sitting on the third sofa in the middle of the room, equidistant from her two friends. She could tell what they were feeling as well as if she could read their thoughts with her mind.
The gray mare didn’t hesitate to speak first. “I know how it seems to both of you, but I honestly don’t think it would be that big of a deal if I was in a relationship with both of you,” she said. “It’s like, we’re already halfway there, so why not…?” Somehow, it was unbelievable that this was the first time she was putting what all three knew she wanted out in the open.
“It would’ve been an easier idea to consider if you said that up front,” Solar Spark said, flattening his ears as he talked. She wasn’t sure how truthful the statement was, but she didn’t interrupt.
“But like, hearing… what you said a few nights ago? Especially right then? I don’t like that, and it just… completely puts me off.”
“I would have liked to have heard something as well,” Agile Trace said simply, looking down at her hooves for a second before turning her gaze back up. She ruffled her wings and fidgeted uncomfortably.
“I said something up front though!” Composition continued. “I told Sparky when I went on my first date with him that I liked you both, and I guess just assumed that–”
"The issue is that I can't do something like that," the stallion interrupted, speaking a bit more confidently. "I like you, obviously. A lot. And… well, I'm not good at, like… you know. And I know my thinking is bad, but I can't help it. And hearing you say her name right then did not help at all."
Composition watched both Agile and Solar Spark grimace, and lowered her own ears now. It really was that big of a deal.
“Celestia could set it up so that neither of you feel like I’m with both of you ponies though,” she offered. “Time dilation is a thing, remember? She could make it seem I’m always only with one of you if we asked. It probably wouldn’t be very difficult for her to do actually.”
“No. I don’t like that idea,” Agile said automatically. She looked Composition in the eye as she said it, completely serious. “I don't like the idea of Celestia fucking with us again. It’s still messing with my head even now trying to think about it, and I don’t want another layer added that makes it more confusing and deceptive.”
“It wouldn’t be deceptive though!”
“It’s inherently deceptive,” Agile finished. “I don’t like it.”
Worse and worse Composition felt, hating the way this conversation was going. Neither of them were giving her an inch. Her ears were completely flattened now, pressing against her skull as she put her head down and closed her eyes.
“But like, I’m willing to keep going along with this,” the pegasus offered quickly. “Not to, like, get the one up on Sparky or something. I just wanna make sure nothing like I think is gonna happen to force satisfaction on us does happen. I don’t want to live in a world where I’m only getting imitations of my friends because we can’t think our way out of this or this all explodes in our faces.” A pause came, and then she finished, “Especially over something this dumb.”
Composition almost felt hopeful until she opened her eyes and saw Agile’s expression. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes moved between her hooves and Composition’s face. It was enough of a tell to let her know this wasn’t something Agile would like at all, even if she would do it.
Solar Spark looked about the same way. “I mean, I’m not saying I’m not willing to keep doing this thing where you go on dates with both of us,” he started, “but I don’t know if this is ever gonna do it for me. At least, not like this, especially not if it’s… more than I initially imagined. It’s already in my head.”
“Honestly though, I don’t even like the idea of you going on casual dates with both of us,” Agile said. “Like, a one off with either of us isn’t the same as you basically being actively involved with us both. But I worry about Celestia one hundred times more than that.”
This was making Composition feel so bad. Of course her friends were selfless like this, and willing to do things they didn't like for her sake. She was making them agonize just for her, and for what? For her. They might as well have just–
"Wait, what?" she suddenly asked, interrupting Agile as she was in the middle of another point. "How did that ever become a worry? The thing about us not seeing one another if this didn't work out? Like, how did you even think of Celestia doing something like that? Did she talk to you about it?"
"Huh? No, but she put the idea in my head when she copied you," Agile explained. "Remember when we were telling you about how she imitated you, and we had to find you? That's what's been in my head the whole time. That she'd do something like that."
"When she tried to imitate me?" Composition asked, feeling completely confused. A thought started to hit her as the idea ran through her head. "And she told you that she did that intentionally, right?"
"Yeah? She kept saying it was for my satisfaction when I asked her, and presumably yours and Sparky's, too, presumably. Uh, why?"
“And you never liked the idea of me going on dates with both of you?” she asked. “Even casually?” The pegasus nodded, slightly confused, and the earth pony blinked.
Was… was Composition the one being manipulated by Celestia? The whole time she imagined that whole thing was put on for her, but now, she was thinking differently. As each new second came, she was becoming more and more sure that she was indeed the one being manipulated with that whole event, an event she only heard about backhandedly through her friends. Like a jigsaw puzzle, it was all falling into place.
"Uhh, are you okay, Composition?" Solar Spark asked. "What are you…?"
"Just give me a minute," she said, waving a hoof in dismissal as she stood up to pace. "I need to think this all through."
Celestia imitated Composition. She knew that much, but this whole time the idea was to simply put the idea out there that something like Agile described could happen? Agile was only going along with this because she was fearful of that idea, and Solar Spark was not comfortable at all with this. Neither wanted to be in this position, but both were for Composition's sake. A position that was only possible because of Agile's distrust of Celestia. If she weren't as concerned about the trust that could be had in her, then Agile would probably have moved on already to somepony new and Composition would be alone with the stallion. Both of them would probably be satisfied, but not Composition.
But that was the whole point of putting the thought out there. Because Composition wouldn't be satisfied with just one of them, not ever. She wanted Composition to take time away to set this whole grand scheme up. And it worked! That was the crazy part. Only hindsight was able to make clear to the mare exactly what was going on. Celestia was playing into just how selfish she really was.
"Composition?"
Suddenly, she was looking over at Solar Spark, and then Agile, and the next thing she knew, she was smiling and laughing hard. It was almost comical how firmly and assuredly Celestia guided everything into its right place for her to be in this position right now.
"I– I'm sorry," she said, stopping to take a few breaths and calm down. "I don't know why, but this is just hilarious to me. I'm sorry. Give me one more second."
She took another breath, then sighed, shaking her head with a stupid grin on her face at the thought. Completely ridiculous this whole was to her, and yet here they were.
“I– this whole thing… actually, nothing. It’s nothing. It’s fine. I can’t get into it right now. Sorry if it looks like I’m being weird.”
“What is it?”
"Nothing," she sighed. "It's nothing. Promise. I just need time to think a lot of things out. It's okay if you guys are both uncomfortable with this though. I understand. I'm… sorry for thinking this would work."
"Well, you don't need to be sorry," Solar Spark started. "That's why we're talking this out. So we can see what we can do."
"That's right. It's not like we're just gonna abandon you."
Composition nodded, but still didn't say anything, the thought of what should be done already in her head. It wasn't something she should do right now on whim, not without thinking it all out and being sure. But she certainly wasn't going to be telling it to either Agile or Solar Spark. They would certainly disagree if she told them what she was thinking here and now.
"I know you won't," she finally smiled. "I know you never would. You guys are the best, most amazing, most selfless ponies I know. Heck, even trying to go along with this for me even though neither of you like it is amazing." Neither smiled, but they both looked a little more at ease hearing her say that. That was good.
"I need to take time to myself again though. Think some things through," she started. Both began to speak up to object, but she stopped them in a hurry.
"It won't be as long as before. I just need a few days. No, not even that. Just one day. One day to think everything through, and then I'll tell you about it afterwards. Can I have that?"
They both looked skeptical, and both turned away. Solar Spark spoke up first.
"I'm fine with that," he said, "as long as you promise not to run away from us again? We're here for you if there's an issue. We can try and talk about it if we're making you upset."
"I'm not gonna do that," she assured him. "Just one day is what I need. That's all." She turned to Agile now, who was staring at her hooves with flattened ears. "Please?" she asked hopefully.
The pegasus finally looked up and let out a breath. "Fine. I'm okay with that. But you better make sure Celestia doesn't pull the same shit as before. I don't wanna find out I'm talking to a copy of you again."
Composition smiled again. "No promises," she lightly joked, earning a smile from both the unicorn and pegasus in return. "I like you both a lot."
More than you probably know, actually, she finished silently in her head.
Renown Composition didn't know if she got any sleep at all, not that she needed it. After a night of going through all the details in her head, multiple times in fact, she could say she was definitely going to be making the correct decision. The incredibly selfish decision, but the correct one. It made the most sense out of everything, and made everything crystal clear in hindsight when she laid it out in her head.
Agile Trace and Solar Spark had left before the sun went down, and by the time Composition had finished going through her idea in her head for the fortieth time, the yellow orb was shining light through her window again. She contemplated whether or not to go through it for a forty-first time, but decided it was pointless. She wasn't going to sit here thinking it out for the rest of time. Doing nothing would change nothing and leave all three of them miserable.
Or, at least, it would leave me miserable.
She took a breath to calm her nerves. Time to do this, then, she thought as she shook her limbs loose and pressed the symbol of Celestia's cutie mark that was imprinted into her wall. No point in waiting.
The alicorn goddess appeared before her instantly, just as Composition expected. She smiled down kindly, radiating kindness off of her just as she always did, but didn’t speak. It wasn’t like she was actually waiting for Composition to state her request; she could read her mind at all times, just as she could every other pony in Equestria. However, she was certain it meant that it would be more satisfying for her to say what she wanted herself.
She didn’t say what she was thinking right away. Instead, she asked a question. “Are you sure this is gonna work?” the mare spoke up, tapping a hoof against the ground anxiously. “I mean, you probably are, but like, guarantee me that this whole thing is the best way to do this. It’s risky– you already know– and I don’t wanna waste the chance and lose them both over this if it doesn’t work.”
“I am certain the idea that you have is a suitable one, Composition,” Celestia told her gently, setting a wing on the mare’s back. “However, as to whether or not this thought of yours will have the desired effect you wish, that is unknown. Your friends will always be changing and growing, in large ways and in small, both over decades and over minutes, just as you are. The outcome of your thought is one I cannot guarantee.”
Liar. You just don’t want to say.
But that… was a good enough assurance. It sounded like she was saying she wasn’t going to reveal whether or not this would work specifically, but that in general it would all work out, regardless of whether or not this passed or failed. If Composition was going to be satisfied, it had to be with those two, and no one else. She wasn’t going to settle.
“I can live with that, I think, so long as I get my time with them,” she said. “I want time with them. If I or they grow older in however many years and decide they’re done with me and want something new, fine. But I… need that, at least.”
Celestia didn’t say anything. Instead, she only pulled Composition in a bit with her wing and continued smiling down at her. Now the mare was a little bit nervous, but no point in turning back now, was there? Celestia wouldn’t screw her, she thought. It wouldn’t satisfy Composition’s values very much if she did this and then both of her friends rejected her.
“Just tell me I’ll get that, please?” the mare now asked. “Please?”
Now Celestia spoke up. “Yes, Composition, I’m certain you’ll get to spend time with your friends, and that both you and they will be satisfied.”
That was as much as she was going to be getting from the mare. Annoying, but still a bit reassuring. There wasn’t any more reason to dilly dally around with this then, was there?
“I’m gonna tell you what I want,” she finally said a few moments later. “But what I want is– well, you already know, but what I want is exact. I don’t want anything other than exactly what I ask for when I do this, okay?”
“I understand,” the princess assured her, taking a step back, continuing to look down at her with a gentle smile. “And what exactly would that be, Renown Composition?”
She took a breath, but didn't hesitate much longer than the amount of time it took to do that.
"I want there to be two of me," she started. "Not a copy, or an imitation, but two of me. I want us to be exactly alike in every single way, with no mental differences, physical differences, or emotional differences, except for in the fact that one of us exclusively likes Agile Trace alone, and one of us exclusively likes Solar Spark alone. And I want it so that neither I, nor the other version of me, or any of my friends, or anypony else, will be able to tell which of me was the original, and that you never reveal to anypony who the original was."
"Mhm, I see," Celestia considered, placing a hoof on her chin as she did. "However, what you're asking necessitates a type of forking that would necessarily require copying. More precisely, one of you would be a different pony based on copying the other, and the other would be a different pony based on regenerating your personality after forking your current processes. That is to say, one of you would be part of a copy based on the original, and the other would be part of a new pony entirely based off of the original. But both would be the original at the same time."
“Uh, but like, one of us would be the true original, right?” she asked, a bit nervously. “I mean, I guess I would, but you know what I mean. I wouldn’t just cease to exist doing it like this, right?”
“No, you would still be just as conscious after as you are now,” she assured her. “And yes, one of you would be the true original. However, that doesn’t necessitate you yourself being the true original, Composition. You must accept that possibility.”
That was nerve wracking to hear, and a bit existential. She had to take a breath and close her eyes to get herself level again. It would be fine. After all, the whole point was to not know. As selfish as she was being, she wasn’t going to be that selfish.
"Okay. That’s fine, I think,” she finally said, “so long as nopony is able to tell the difference between the two of us, to the point where I don't even know."
"That can be done then, yes," the princess smiled. "And just as you requested, I wouldn't reveal to you who is who, regardless of the outcome or length of your time with your current friends and regardless of how hard you pressed to know. Once this is done, it will be both permanent and unchangeable."
"I know. That's the whole point, and that's what I want."
"That's very good, Composition," Celestia told her, smiling down almost like the proud teacher of a student who solved a tough problem. "Although I do have a suggestion to offer in this case," she said.
"Huh?" Composition wasn't expecting Celestia to offer suggestions about this. She imagined she would just go ahead and agree. What was it going to be?
"I believe in a situation like this one, it would be best to fine tune you both to be a little more inclined to the interests of the pony you will each spend your time with. Right now, the root of your problem is indecision, so slight tuning to make you more decisive would be ideal."
“I’m not indecisive though,” she replied skeptically. “I know I like them both, and like both of those lives.”
“That is precisely what indecision is, Renown Composition,” Celestia told her gently. “You’ve yet to forge a clear path for yourself after nearly a year of living in Equestria, unlike your friends, who are beginning to do so after just a few months. Slightly tuning your interests would help align your path more towards each of your friends.”
Before Composition could voice her concerns about that, Celestia waved a wing to stop and settle her.
"It will not be enough to be perceptible, except perhaps to you and your twin. You will still have the same wants and desires in your life as you do now. Some of those desires will just be to a slightly lesser degree to allow you to make more decisive choices. Do you understand?"
The way the princess was sounding made Composition feel like she knew this was the best way. And who was she to not trust her? After all, she was the one who manipulated things to get this far down the rabbit hole. She probably had the next ten thousands years of whatever would happen with her jotted down to the millisecond. It was kind of twisted how far the princess went playing with the emotions of her and her friends. She honestly should've been angry at her.
She wasn't though. Instead, she gave a simple nod of agreement and continued talking. "One more thing. This is actually the most important thing. I want there to be a way that I can get both experiences even though we both just like one pony or the other. Like, a way to share memories, if that makes sense. I want to know what the other is getting, and the other to know what I'm getting, so we can both have the full picture."
“Of course, Composition,” Celestia agreed. “I wouldn’t expect anything less than for you to fill your life with those experiences that you cannot have. You’ve certainly thought it through more than most ponies have so far. I’m quite impressed with you, although as I said, I would not expect less than this.”
She imagined Celestia was being truthful, but only because Celestia was the one who’d been setting all of this up to begin with. Maybe even before she uploaded. How would things have changed if she wasn’t shot by that mugger?
But then again, it wasn’t like Composition wasn’t agonizing like this back on Earth. If there was no agonization, there’d be no way for Celestia to work like this. She herself was inherently part of the problem. And Celestia had thought up the solution, every single thing she did being only to force this moment upon her.
“So, uh, do you think you can do all of that for me?” she asked awkwardly, glancing down at her hooves. “I mean, I know you can, and you will, but how are you gonna do it? Will it be right now? Cause that’s what I’d prefer.”
“Yes, I will begin this process now,” she explained. “You, however, have kept yourself awake all night,” she said gently, placing a wing on her back to lead the mare back to her bed. She lit up her horn to draw the curtains, darkening the room from the rising sun. Just the mention of her being awake all night made Composition tired.
“Rest for a while, Renown Composition,” she instructed gently, the mare covering her mouth with a hoof to yawn as she climbed into bed. “When you awake, it will all be taken care of. Should I inform your friends of what will happen?”
“No,” the mare yawned again, covering herself with the blanket. “I’ll do that when I get up, thanks.”
The alicorn smiled. “Sleep well, Composition.”
It was the last thing Renown remembered before she started to drift off.
Renown Composition was not on her bed when she opened her eyes again. Nor did she feel very different, like she expected to. In fact, she’d go so far as to say she didn’t feel any different at all, honestly. She thought she might… she didn't know. Feel like an entirely different pony? She knew that was ridiculous, since the whole point of this was to make a copy of herself exactly the same as she was, but she thought it might end up being like that anyway. She felt completely normal.
Then she stretched her neck and turned her head, hearing herself and her copy gasp at the same time.
Her reflection was a better descriptor. It was like she was staring into a mirror. The mare in front of her was an Earth pony just like her, with the same light gray coat and dark gray eyes, combined with that same style of black and white mane. Her eyes were just as wide as Composition’s were as the two took each other in. It was an absolutely bizarre experience for the mare.
The mare in front of her spoke first. “That is freaky,” her reflection said in the same voice as hers as she shook her head clear and let out a breath. "Seriously."
"Uh, yeah, you could say that, uh, Composition," she replied. So then they weren't exactly the same, were they? If her reflection replied first– or was she the reflection?– then they couldn't have been. But then Celestia did say she was going to make small adjustments only the two of them would notice.
"We should probably think of a test to make sure we’re the same,” her reflection told her, lowering her ears and looking a bit uncomfortable. She could understand that feeling. She felt the same way right now. The mare said it best. This was freaky.
“Something simple, I think. Like a memory nopony else would remember. Something to make sure Celestia did this correctly.”
It made sense, and was an idea she herself would have suggested in another minute probably. Not that it really needed to be done. There was no way the AI goddess would have blundered this. But it would make her more comfortable to have confirmation, just like it would her twin if this actually worked.
“Well, I can think of a question already,” she told the mare on the couch in front of her. “I’m not gonna make it too difficult, but… who was the first guy you ever liked?”
It made her reflection’s face a little red, and both smiled, easing the slight tension in the room. “Well I know who you mean,” the mare started, “but if you were talking about just a crush, that would be Harry Styles. I know you meant that kid, Darren, who was in our sophomore class in high school, before we met Gwen and Mandy.”
“Good job. That’s the right answer,” she offered in small congratulations. “Now you ask me a question.”
“Ummm, let me think for a second.” Her reflection put a hoof on her chin in thought, and as she did, Composition tried her best to see if she could come up with a second question before the mare in front of her could. She was almost able to.
“Oh! I know! When did Agile tell you her secret?”
“I knew you were gonna ask that,” Composition said, the question popping into her head just a second before her reflection said it aloud. “She told me that in senior year, I remember. Like, it was just after I met her, cause we started talking a lot after that. She said I, quote, ‘seemed like a trustworthy person’ and something else about how the gays have to stick up for each other. It was hilarious how nonchalant she was being. I’m pretty sure Gwen and Mandy were there, too.”
“I think you’re right,” her reflection said, and the two laughed at the memory. “It feels like so long ago,” the mare in front of her finished.
“Yeah, it does. And now we’re all ponies, and I have two of me.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m the one who has two of her,” the pony replied, “but sure, go ahead and think that.”
Composition let out a small chuckle, letting pass any nervousness she might have had. It was strange though. That was the kind of joke Agile Trace would make– and one she would make, too– but the thought of Agile Trace making it made her feel a bit strange. She still liked the mare a lot; she was definitely still one of her closest friends, one she should share a laugh with at any moment, every hour of the day. But all of the affection she had for her before seemed to be slowly dissipating. A close friend was what she was, and… that seemed to be it. She imagined that meant her reflection felt the same way about Solar Spark.
“Something I did think of before though–” her reflection started. Composition interrupted her before she could get too far.
“Name change?” she asked. “I already know which two I picked out, and which one I want. Renown Frame.” She smiled as she said it, and so did the mare she was talking to.
“Good, because I wanted Stellar Composition,” she replied. “That makes me happy.” Renown Frame watched Stellar Composition glance up at her mane– the two seemed to be completely in sync when it came to what they were thinking about– and said, “I kind of wanna do something to change up how I look a little bit. So we can tell each other apart, if that makes sense. I assume you wanna do the same.”
“You already know it,” Frame agreed. “But before that, I really wanna talk to Sparky. And then after that, we can work on that… Celestia, it feels a little dark what we’re doing, doesn’ it?”
“Yeah, a little bit,” Stellar agreed. “Too late now though, I think.”
Yeah, too late now was a good way to put it. Renown Frame didn’t waste too much more time though before she left to go find Solar Spark.
Stellar Composition didn't leave immediately, and instead sat inside her home for a little while, thinking it all over. Or was it Renown Frame's home? She didn't know, but she guessed the two could share it. She didn't imagine that it'd be a place she'd be staying for very much longer if things progressed as she expected them to.
She knew her twin was almost certainly feeling just like she was– how could she not if they were basically the same? She could find no differences between them, so far as she could tell. Maybe Frame was a smidge more relaxed than she was? Or maybe that was just in her head. She could see no sign either way of Celestia messing anything up. Heck, looking at the mare almost confused herself. Her twin was right though. It did seem a little bit dark to be put on this path by Celestia. Maybe even kind of messed up. A little bit more so since she was going along with this. It was certainly selfish, she knew that.
Stellar didn't waste much more time than that, figuring it was best to get to Agile sooner rather than later to talk to her. She already knew what she was going to say; it was going to be the same as what Frame was probably telling Sparky right now. A little bit of a lie at first– maybe not technically, but still– and then mostly the truth after that. It didn't help with the dark feeling, but it was already too late to take it back. This was what was going to be done.
All of the buildings she passed looked the same as yesterday, and all of the ponies she knew still waved at her with friendly smiles just as they did before. Everything was just the same as it always was, and exactly how she remembered it. But did she remember it? Or was she just playing in her mind memories she thought were supposed to be there because she was a copy? It was already bugging her greatly, but there was nothing she could do about it. That was the whole point.
It was only a few minutes before Stellar reached Agile's apartment. She felt nervous, but pushed that nervousness down to knock on her door with a firm hoof. It wasn’t like there’d be any way to change her mind about this. Besides, Celestia gave her an assurance that this would work. Well, kind of.
Only a second was what it took before the pegasus opened the door. This time, she expected Agile to have her jaw hanging open in complete surprise and somehow see right through what she did. She didn’t, and instead smiled like she always did as she saw her. Stellar smiled back, and let out a small breath she’d been holding it. It eased her nerves more to see.
I wonder if Frame’s feeling the same way, she thought. She didn’t know why she did though. She knew her twin definitely was.
“That wasn’t a whole day,” Agile joked lightly. “I was expecting a full twenty four hours. It’s only been, like, sixteen. I was expecting you to take the other eight, and then I’d be able to criticize you for going a few minutes over your time limit.”
“Too bad I was prepared for that,” Stellar joked back lightly, still expecting to feel strange about this, and still finding nothing strange at all, except for the obvious. She took another breath, and then stepped inside with the mare.
“I thought it all through,” she started casually, not taking a seat like Agile did, but not looking as nervous as she felt. “I thought it all through, and I think this is the best idea. And I know you’re gonna say no, but I’m one hundred percent sure it’s the best idea, and I need you to trust me.”
“Uhhh, okay?” Agile replied skeptically. “What idea is that?”
The gray pony didn’t hesitate. “I’m gonna copy myself so that I can be with both of you.”
It’s not exactly a lie, she tried to tell herself, now pacing back and forth from one hoof to the next. I am gonna be with both of them. And I will be copied. She was just stretching the truth a bit. This wouldn’t work the same if she told them before going through with this. Having Solar Spark and Agile separated was the advantage of this. Not to mention, the subtle differences Celestia talked about– she was worried about that. She didn’t know if she saw them; maybe they were there looking at Frame? It was subtle enough that Stellar was doubtful she noticed them, but it was a concern. If Agile didn’t notice them, then almost all of her concerns would be alleviated.
The pegasus didn’t say anything. She didn’t look terribly shocked, but she definitely was surprised by what she heard. Her wings extended a bit because of what she heard, but her mouth remained closed. It almost felt like she saw this coming. There was no way that could be the case, could it?
“I know it sounds ridiculous,” she started again after a long moment of silence, before the pegasus could open her mouth. “But this makes the most sense, and would make everypony happy. I would be able to be with both of you, and you’d both be able to be alone with me without any weird time constructions or anything else. It would satisfy us all.”
“How exactly does that satisfy you, though?” Agile asked first. “That doesn’t make sense, since you would still like both of us. Presumably the copy would, too. Unless you were switching out with the copy all the time–”
“I wouldn’t. I would tell Celestia to make it so that I only liked you, and my copy only liked Sparky.”
She needed to be careful. She didn’t want to slip up and reveal that it already happened. She felt like she almost messed up there just then. She took another breath to steady herself on her hooves.
Of course, though, Agile asked the selfless question, one that Stellar had no doubt Solar Spark would be asking of Frame. “Would Sparky agree to something like that?”
The mare didn’t need to debate at all how to answer the question. She practiced it in her head for hours all night. Another breath was taken, and then she said, “He would, because I’d be telling him the same thing I’m telling you.”
“If you’re telling him the same thing–”
“It wouldn’t be lying,” she interrupted, “because the copy would think that she’s the real me, too. She would think that she came up with this whole plan and that I’m the fake. And if she thinks she’s the real one, then it’s not really lying cause she basically would be. From her perspective at least.”
Agile frowned. “That doesn’t make any sort of sense to me. There’s no reason why I wouldn’t just be given the copy instead of the real one if you told Sparky, too. Or Celestia could screw with us and just give us both copies while you were off doing something else.”
“That– this would prevent that!” she tried to explain. “If we did something like this, then we would have the control instead of Celestia just doing whatever the heck she wanted. She’s gonna do whatever the heck she thinks is best to satisfy us somehow, and I’m pretty sure that whole imitating me thing was to get me to think of this, so if I didn’t do this, Celesita would probably just do it anyway. This is the solution.”
Stellar watched Agile Trace glance down at her hooves awkwardly, then turn away slightly. She let out a stiff breath, and the gray pony continued to pace back and forth from one hoof to the next. This was so nerve wracking to face.
“I guess that all makes sense…” she trailed off depressively. “I hate though that you and the Evil Empress seem to have an answer to everything. There’s no way for me to ever one up you two with something.”
Steller took a small risk and made a joke. “It’s not my fault I’m so smart.”
The pegasus smiled and turned back to her. “Yeah, I guess I can’t blame you for being a nerd about all of this.” It was always nice to hear Agile joke with her, but in a moment like then, it practically made Stellar’s heart melt.
Then she frowned again. “How do you know though that you wouldn’t be the copy if you did this? If the copy would also think she’s the real one, how would the real one know it’s not a copy?”
She almost gave the answer Agile would want to hear, but stopped herself. The pegasus was smarter than she gave herself credit for, and would certainly poke right through the holes if she told her that.
Instead, she gave the more honest one. Not completely, but more.
“Trust me, I would know,” she assured her. “Like, I can’t go into how I would know, because there wouldn’t be any way to tell– that would be the whole point of this. But I would know. Like how you know you’re not just a copy of yourself now that you’re uploaded.”
“Well now that you mention it, I don’t know,” Agile said. Then she let out a breath of her own. “But I won’t get into all that existentialism. It’s… maybe not the most healthy, I’m realizing,” she said, her voice getting quieter at the end of the sentence. There was a break, and she glanced away for a second before looking back at her. Then she finished, “I don’t feel the most comfortable about this, but if you really think this is what’s best, I’ll trust you. It… makes me feel better that you’re telling me up front about this. I appreciate it.”
“Of course, Agile,” Stellar grinned. “I like you too much to lie to you.”
Renown Frame imagined she’d get more arguing against the idea from Solar Spark when she explained it to him, but she got a surprisingly little amount. He asked questions, wanting to know her thought process and all of the details about it, but received no resistance from the stallion. He looked incredibly upset about it though, and sad. His ears were flattened, and he seemed to almost slump because of what he was hearing. She hadn’t really seen him like this before, but she could say she hated it.
“Is there something wrong?” she asked carefully, stepping a bit closer to him. He wasn’t tearing up, thankfully, but it looked like he might at any moment. He glanced away, a move that only made her feel worse.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he told her quietly, an obvious lie. “If that’s what you wanna do, we can do that. I won’t stand in the way.”
“What’s wrong though?” she asked again. “Tell me. I don’t wanna do something you’re not gonna like.” As though she hadn’t already gone ahead. She imagined if Solar Spark wasn’t taking this well, Agile Trace was probably taking it badly. She felt just a twinge more concerned about him though.
“Tell me?” Frame moved even closer now, practically on top of him as the stallion looked down at his hooves. “I wanna know.”
“I’m just being an idiot and being jealous about this,” he said quietly, his face looking slightly more pink than his red coat normally was. “I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it.” He exhaled, then finished, “It just sucks that you have to do this at all… and feels a bit terrible that I’d only be getting half of the pony I like. It's probably shit to even be thinking like that.”
"It's not shit," she told him quickly. "And you're not being an idiot. The only pony who's at fault for this whole thing is me. I'd be doing this because I like you both just that much. Because I like you just that much, Sparky."
He didn't smile, but he did finally glance back up at her. He pressed his purple eyes into her gray ones, and she let the moment last for as long as he desired. It was a small thing, but one Frame found herself not wanting to end. It felt perfect.
"I like you that much, too, Composition," he replied after a long while. "Maybe more than you know."
It made her smile to hear. It felt lovely to have just the quiet moment right here with him, one mostly lacking any other conversation. She took another small step closer to him, and turned her body to press her coat into his. He closed his eyes and let out a breath as she did, one that felt relived and content from the energy he was now putting out. She closed her own eyes, too, letting herself exist without much thought for a long second. She couldn't see how Agile didn't like stuff like this. Frame felt like she needed this, standing next to Solar Spark.
The moment finally passed, unfortunately, and the stallion pulled back from her. "I… think I could be okay with this, so long as it's you. I know I'm being a bit of an idiot about it, and I know you wouldn't be just half of a pony. I know I shouldn't be jealous like this, and I'm working on it. But I'm okay with that."
A joke might be what she gave to Agile, but she let the niceness of the moment last even longer. "Thanks, Sparky. You're amazing."
He shrugged slightly. "I'm not the one doing anything, but thank you, Composition."
"Oh, I should probably add," the mare began again. "I would want to be called 'Renown Frame' after I do this." Solar Spark tilted his head in confusion, and she continued, "I would want the copy to be able to think she's the real one, and that Agile's with the real me. They both would deserve to have that."
"Oh, I see," he nodded in understanding. "That makes sense. Although if the copy has all the same memories and experiences and stuff as you, I can't think of anything that would make either of you not the 'real' Composition. At that point, you'd both be the real you."
Hmmm. That seemed like some good food for thought.
A hug, a light kiss, a smile, and a wave was what Stellar Composition gave to Agile Trace before stepping off, out of her apartment. It wasn't long before she was back home, meeting Renown Frame as she walked up to the building at the same time as she did. What a coincidence.
"How did it go?" she automatically asked her twin as the two stepped up and entered their home. She already knew the answer to it– she could tell how it went just from the smile that went up on her lips at the question. It made Stellar turn her own expression up into a smile as well to see.
She let her twin explain anyway. “Sparky looked upset by the idea at first, but it didn’t take a lot of convincing to get him to come around. We actually didn’t talk a lot at all. We were mostly silent, but it was okay that we were. It was nice, actually, as weird as that is.”
It did sound weird to Stellar, just hearing about it, but she did more than just hear about it. For a description that wasn’t very strong, Stellar could see it perfectly in her head if she closed her eyes. It was almost like a memory of her own was forming as she heard about it, but not quite. She wasn’t the subject of the scene, but instead stood in the scene watching Frame and Solar Spark. A third party observer to what were Frame’s memories was the best way to describe it.
“You wanna hear about freaky?” Frame started. “That was freaky. Seriously.”
“Yeah, a little,” Stellar agreed, rubbing a hoof behind her head. “But why was it freaky for you?”
“Because I was able to see you watching it!” she said. “Like, you’re not in the memory, but I could tell you were watching it while I was talking to you. It was freaky. But, like, also kind of cool.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I could’ve said it better myself,” Stellar agreed. It wasn’t just with that she agreed, but also her thought on the little moment she watched the two share. It seemed nice. But… nice was probably as far as she would go with describing the mood. It would be cute to experience, but there were better things than that in that moment, she thought. Was this one of those changes Celestia was talking about?
“Wanna hear about what happened to me?” Stellar asked casually, already knowing she didn’t need to.
Renown Frame smiled and nodded, then closed her eyes to listen.
Stellar spoke casually, just like Frame did, and just like what Stellar described, Renown Frame was able to see the picture play out in her head like a movie. The scene of her twin talking to Agile Trace showed itself, the pegasus’s hesitation and Stellar’s convincing the mare. Something her twin didn’t tell her though was that she could very easily tell what she was feeling at the time. Frame wasn’t feeling them herself necessarily, but they did radiate off of Stellar. The nervousness and fear came first, and then later on, the affection she had for her friend. It was one of the strangest experiences of Frame’s life so far– which was saying something considering what just happened– but also extremely fulfilling somehow. Impressive honestly, but of course it was. This was Celestia, after all, the Evil Empress as she just watched Agile Trace call her. She was the princess– and practically god at this point– who wasn’t going to rest until everypony was satisfied, whether they liked it or not, with no regard for how twisted or dark she was going to make things, so long as she fulfilled her objectives.
It felt terrifying, like the two of them were living in a horror story. The best of all possible apocalypses, as it were.
It was also kind of perfect, in an extremely strange and uncomfortable way, a thought both of them shared with a look in each other's eyes.
A second later, they let the thought go. They didn’t return to their partners just yet though. Instead, they spent the afternoon talking, the time waning into the evening before they finally stopped. It was first about Celestia and the new situation, and then about each other and their friends, before they finally transitioned into chatting about life in general, sharing a long afternoon.
Solar Spark wasn't really feeling it right then. In fact, he could say that this was downright annoying.
"Where the heck are they?" he asked as he furrowed his brow. It was a sentiment he was sure Renown Frame shared, although she didn't look quite as irritated as he did. She was definitely confused though, and held the look of such on her face as the two stared down the trail of the mountain, waiting expectantly.
"They were right behind us a few seconds ago," he continued, "and there's only one trail up and down this mountain. There's no way they got lost, is there?"
"I have no idea," Frame shrugged. "Maybe those two–"
“Sweet Celestia, give us a second!” a voice called up the mountain, huffing and puffing. A few seconds later, the two rounded the bend, bringing both mares traveling with them into Solar Spark’s and Renown Frame’s view.
“We’re not built for this like you guys are,” Soft Step said, stopping for a moment to catch her breath. The mare beside her, Careful Calling, kept her steady, holding her with her hooves and lighting up her horn as though to catch her from falling just in case her grasp on her gave way. She looked just as tired as her companion.
“We should’ve asked Celestia to give us some stamina, before this,” Solar Spark heard her say to Soft Step before she called up the mountain. “Give us a few minutes. We’re right behind you.”
“It’s gonna take another twenty minutes for you two to get up here with us!” he called back. “We should be halfway down again by now!”
“You can teleport up to us if you’re having a hard time,” Frame spoke up. “Or Sparky and I can do it for you if you’re too tired. It’s not any trouble.”
“You don’t need to do that,” Soft Step spoke up again, getting back on her own hooves and starting to move again. “We’ll be there in a little while.” A few moments later, she and Careful Calling rounded the next corner and disappeared off again.
“How much do you wanna bet those two are gonna take another hour?” Solar Spark asked. He got a smile and a giggle from Renown Frame in response.
“It’ll be fine,” she smiled kindly, just as she always did, making any frustration he had completely evaporate into nothing. She stood close and wrapped her hooves around him, leaning into his neck as she pointed her yellow eyes into his purple ones. They seemed even more vibrant than the gray ones she had a while ago.
“That just means I get to spend more time up here with you alone. The other two times we climbed up here, it was night, so it's neat seeing it with you in the daytime now.”
“Yeah, it is,” he agreed, unable to be annoyed even if he tried with her holding him close like she was. “Although it’s not gonna be very nice when it starts to rain, soon,” he continued. “I scheduled it so that we’d get back to the cottage just before it started, after Soft Step and C.C. got on the train back to their house. I was gonna cuddle up with you while it did.”
“That sounds romantic,” she said, and then considered the thought. “Yeah, it wouldn’t be very nice getting drenched in the rain up here,” she finished a moment later. “You’re right on that.”
“I know I am. And it’s gonna rain before we get there at this rate, and we’ll either be caught in it or have to teleport.”
“That’s true, but also imagine the adventure it would be if we were caught in it,” she said. “It would definitely be an experience– not a very good one, mind you, but an experience we would share, certainly.”
“We will have to share it at this rate,” he said. “Those two are taking forever.”
He was just complaining to complain now, and he knew it. It was nice being here like this. He sat on his haunches where he was, Frame sitting down at the same time, without letting him go. The two stared out at the wide scene around them, and Solar Spark leaned into the gray coated mare next to him as he did. This was nice, he decided. A nice gray day on a mountain top, with cool wind in their coats, being held close by the pony he could safely say was his best friend– this was what it was all about. It felt so incredibly perfect.
“We should plan a trip somewhere,” he said casually. “I don’t know where, but somewhere. Places where we can explore things and learn about history and stuff.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Frame agreed. “Somewhere exotic though. Like, a place that’s all desert or ice caps or something like that. New, interesting places.”
“Maybe someplace that’s a little bit dangerous or challenging to navigate? Something we’d have to learn how to do to get through it.”
“Yeah, something like that. That’d be nice.”
“Yeah.”
Their friends that were behind them finally caught up with them after a long while of waiting, and laid on their backs behind them to rest. No one said much, not until they were interrupted by a flash of lightning and a loud peal of thunder. It was then when Soft Step and Careful Calling bid the two goodbye, lighting up their horns and disappearing just a minute or so later.
They weren’t followed though. Instead, Solar Spark and Renown Frame walked all the way down the mountain on the path to their little cottage in the storm, where a hot fire was already burning, waiting for them to come back and dry their soaking wet coats.
Agile Trace feigned a sulking attitude as Stellar Composition laughed loudly. They both had drinks in hand, and talked a bit louder than usual due to the level of noise in the building. They weren’t going to hear each other at all if they spoke softly.
“You’re gonna lose all of your chips at the rate you’re going, Agile,” Stellar told her. “You need to quit while you’re ahead. Err, behind, I guess, since you’re losing bits.”
“Yeah, that’s right, pity the poor loser,” Agile said facetiously. “Next thing you know, I’m gonna lose my apartment, and my marefriend will leave me, and my life is gonna go on a dangerous downward spiral that can only be cured by getting that one big win, and/or by rising through the ranks and becoming the manager of a local thrift store before starting my own small business.”
“Or by literally just asking Celestia for bits if you care that much, since there’s unlimited resources here.” Stellar paused for a moment, then finished, “You don’t even have a rent to pay.”
“Look, just let me wallow in my own misfortune,” she said. “It’s funnier this way.”
“Ah, of course. My bad. What were you saying?”
“It’s all on the line right here,” she said again, pausing to take a few gulps of her drink. Then she shook her head and set herself in the scene again. “I took out a second mortgage on my apartment to come here today, and this is when I make it big. Right here at the blackjack table.”
“I’m sure your landlord is gonna be angry when she hears about the mortgage on your apartment,” was Stellar Flare’s comment, the mare looking like she was resisting the urge to laugh for now.
“Oh she will, and you can bet I’ll hear it,” Agile confirmed with a smile of her own. “And worse than that, if I lose all of the rent money at this table, my marefriend is gonna break up with me forever.”
“Unless of course you win,” the gray mare played along. “Then I’d be legally obligated to love you forever and marry you on the spot, right?”
“That’s right, you’re getting it now, Stellar,” Agile said, pushing the rest of her chips in the center of the table. “That’s why I’m going all in. This is for love, and for having a place to live. Hit me, dealer.”
The pony did as requested, and the gamble was over before it began. He revealed blackjack, and took Agile Trace’s cards and chips. Both she and Stellar Composition blinked at the sight in surprise.
“Oh. Well… fuck. That’s a bit anticlimactic. But don’t think you can leave me anyway, cause if you do, it means you only loved me for my money.”
That got Steller bursting with laughter, enough that she hit the table with her hoof a few times to calm herself down. Agile laughed, too, happy the mare next to her was enjoying this.
“Did you plan for that to happen?” her marefriend asked when she got a second to breathe. “Because let me tell you, if you did, you have a second talent in either being a comedian, or becoming an actor. Or both, potentially. That should not have been as funny as you made it.”
“I definitely didn’t, but imagine if I did. You’d be pretty impressed with that, wouldn't you?”
“I absolutely would be. But what are you gonna do now that you have no money?” she asked. “Take out a third mortgage on your apartment?”
“Absolutely, and the drinks here are free, so it’s not like I have to go anywhere. And I’m also gonna continue my habit of not paying rent since my landlord never charges me. I’ve got the hookups on that. I know the pony who runs this town. I’m pretty sure she’s in love with me.”
“Yeah? You think she is?” Stellar asked, then leaned down to kiss Agile a couple of times. Both smiled and stared into each other’ eyes, both ponies’ brown eyes reflecting off of each other. But only for a moment it was.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she is,” Agile smiled. Both had confident looks on their faces, something Agile liked seeing. Not a hint of shyness could be felt coming off the gray mare.
“Anyway, now that I’m out of chips– and money– what do you wanna do next? A movie?”
“A movie sounds nice,” Stellar agreed. She fluttered her eyelashes at her, and then continued, “After that, we can head back to your place so I can see for myself just how much the mare who runs this town likes you.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll see.”
“We need to all hang out together,” Stellar Composition told Renown Frame. “All four of us. It’s been a little while since we have. Something fun like ice skating, or even just walking around and talking. I haven’t seen him in a long time.”
“Mhm, you’re right,” Frame agreed. “It has been a little while since we all got together, or that I’ve even seen her at all. But it’s only been a few weeks since we’ve talked together, right?” she asked. “You didn’t have blue highlights in your hair before, did you?”
“I didn’t,” the mare smiled. “I got this done just last week. How do they look?”
“They look good! They match well with Agile! It’s honestly kind of adorable!”
The two twins laughed– well, they looked a little less like twins now, what Stellar’s highlights and brown eyes and Frame’s yellow eyes to go along with her unicorn horn. But twins they were still, ones who helped each other share experiences that they couldn’t have as just a single pony. It was a bit scary for each to think about the fact that the other knew exactly how they thought, but both imagined that with enough time, even that would start to pass as they grew in different ways.
It was more scary to think about the pony each was before, doubly so when they considered the existentialism that Renown Composition might not actually exist anymore, in spite of Celestia’s assurances that one of them was indeed the original. If it was a true fifty-fifty split, then…
Did Sheila even exist anymore?
But neither went down that route of thinking today, performing what was becoming a ritual ceremony of sitting in one of the two’s homes and talking through their experiences. While one spoke, the other would lean back and close their eyes and let the movie play in their head, and vice versa for the other. It wasn’t a long, continuous stream. It was interrupted by both mares with different memories, and just chatting in general. It was like a visit to a close friend, or a relative. A relative that always brought the existential question of whether or not you were who you thought you were and knew every intimate detail of your life sans the past few years, but still. It was always a great time, and a day both looked forward to, even beginning the day after they saw each other.
It left both feeling a little sad though, seeing what they were missing out on, but any sadness they had was always replaced with the satisfaction that their twin was getting the experiences they couldn’t have, and that their friends were being provided with what just one pony couldn’t. Neither could have everything they wanted– that was an inevitably of life– but this was very close, in the opinion of both ponies. As close as they were going to get, in fact, without an outright lie, anyway. As twisted as this was, that was a bridge that wouldn’t be crossed, for the sake of their friends. This was already a very long leap.
It was already utterly horrifying if they thought about it too deeply.
But as twisted as it was, this was… good. How Princess Celestia had managed to come up with such an elaborate solution to a complex problem– one she probably saw before any of the three ever even uploaded– neither knew. Neither was sure they really cared. What mattered was that they could be with the ponies they held close, and share experiences with them that would last a lifetime or longer.
