11618000 I see you took a bit of my idea and made Twilight a donor of his blood, but with Applejack also donating, maybe in the future Nick will have both the strength and endurance of an earthling and the magical ability of a unicorn.
Since that ponies have magic if Magic's in your blood and Nick got blood from Twilight and Applejack does that mean he also might get some magic. I say give 2 weeks and Nick going to think those female ponies look awful pretty.
Still liking the story so far, if I have one issue, it's the mention of family, Mainly it felt out of nowhere, maybe a line about AB reminding him of his sis. But still good and looking forward to more.
Fortunately, they found my wallet contained a card with my name and blood type, and it turned out that both Twilight and Applejack had the same blood type as me.
Unless they somehow have human blood and DNA, this is impossible. Interspecies blood transfusions are impossible as it would cause anaphylaxis among a multitude of other problems in the recipient, as the body would see the foreign blood as an invader and would react accordingly. Death being the most common and probable outcome.
11622341 Fair, but on the flip side, they deal with multiple sapient species all the time, and would already know that.
So while blood type is most likely not the useful piece of data it would be for us, the more likely situation is that they know how to produce the blood from a sample that they currently had access to. Magic!
One thing that didn't feel right is[ "Ah, don't worry about it," Applejack said, still chuckling. "I should have known you'd pull something like that."] How could Applejack have known if its the 1st time that they truly met nothing he has done would have shown his playfulness like that. Its not bad just off.
Actually I don't blame him for yelling. Some people won't get something through their heads until you snap. Twilight needed accept the answer she was given instead trying to force it to change.
Fortunately, they found my wallet contained a card with my name and blood type, and it turned out that both Twilight and Applejack had the same blood type as me.
Hospitals never trust the patients word, cards, or dog tags. They always test your blood type themselves and blood typing is a pretty fast process. Reason for this is because giving someone the wrong blood can be catastrophic.
It was a challenge, but I successfully completed my meal with the gentle encouragement of Red Heart, as I finished, I noticed a blood pack on the tray and asked her about it. She kindly explained to me that when I arrived at the hospital, I was in critical condition and needed an urgent blood transfusion. Fortunately, they found my wallet contained a card with my name and blood type, and it turned out that both Twilight and Applejack had the same blood type as me. They selflessly donated their blood to save my life, and for that, I am forever grateful.
Transfusion with an unknown species. That could have ended poorly. Got real lucky, Nick! Wonder if this is a clue about the world MC’s in given there’s some compatibility between the two species.
Finally got around to Chapter 2. It's a big step up from the first, minus some easy oversights of capitalization, but that's easy to read over.
One area I would point out where I think you could do better, which actually kind of surprised me, was in a portion of the exchanging of dialog:
I snapped at her,”Twilight!, i can’t fucking remember how i got here, for fuck sakes, i can’t even remember how I got this!?” I yelled, while I pointed to the stitches on the side of my head.
Twilight was taken aback by my outburst, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. Stammering, she said, “You didn’t have to yell at me!”
I could see that my words had deeply hurt her, and I felt ashamed of my behaviour. "I’m sorry,” I said, “I should not have spoken to you in such a disrespectful way. Please forgive me." Twilight’s hurt expression softened at my apology, and she nodded slowly in response.
Then twilight said, “I’m the one who should be sorry, pushing you to remember when it’s clear you can’t. Can you forgive me?"
“I forgive you, Twilight, and I am sorry for yelling like that. It’s just... It’s been troubling me, and I still can’t remember how I got this injury in the first place,” I said, pointing to my head. “The only thing I can remember is walking back home and then blacking out.”
Now, what I highlight in green I feel is really good dialog. I comes off as authentic and organic. What I highlighted in red, when I read it sounded like the tone shifted to be too formal and detached from the situation. It went from an extreme emotional response caused by Twilight's aggressive question and Nick's frustration from his inability to provide an answer to him providing a calm and collected, if not scripted, apology.
That's not to say what he said was wrong or inappropriate; it just felt a bit off for that exact phrasing without some better context in the narrative leading into it, like:
I could see that my words had deeply hurt her, and I felt ashamed of my behavior. It wasn't like me to lose my composure like that, so I knew my next choice of words had to be more well-thought-out and deliberate.
Even then, maybe not so formal, but that's just me.
Otherwise, great job bringing everyone back in. I loved reading how everyone got along and gathered around the phone, goofed around with pics, and took enjoyed themselves with only a few simple interactions. Everything you did with Redheart was incredibly sweet, as well. I use her a lot in my story as well. Got somewhat of a soft spot for her.
Also, afterthought side tangent: Equines have eight major blood types. A, C, D, K, P, Q, U, and T. Compare that to human's A, B, AB, and O... Only that A types match up, but other factors still come into play, such as respiratory pigments, blood platelets, and plenty of other components that would likely trigger an immune response, allergic reaction, fever...
But for the sake of magical talking pastel-colored horses, we can give them a pass and say Nick, AJ, and Twi all have A type blood and their biology is close enough not to cause too many problems. Even if there were any, the old boy was out for a week, just say he had some antibiotics, immunosuppressant drugs, some antihistamines, and maybe a corticosteroid or two (anti-inflammation steroids, not the get-big in-the-gym kind), and he'd be fine.
Science is fucking crazy, yo.
RIP to Nick's fam. I've lost family to car wrecks myself. Lost a lot of good people in many ways, but... life comes at you fast. Sometimes, it's taken away just as fast.
This was so wholesome I love it 🥰
Thanks for the chapter! I look forward to the next ones.
11618000
I see you took a bit of my idea and made Twilight a donor of his blood, but with Applejack also donating, maybe in the future Nick will have both the strength and endurance of an earthling and the magical ability of a unicorn.
11617991
I agree.
11617991
11618000
Glad you guys are liking/loving this story and I'll won't disappoint you
Since that ponies have magic if Magic's in your blood and Nick got blood from Twilight and Applejack does that mean he also might get some magic. I say give 2 weeks and Nick going to think those female ponies look awful pretty.
Still liking the story so far, if I have one issue, it's the mention of family, Mainly it felt out of nowhere, maybe a line about AB reminding him of his sis. But still good and looking forward to more.
Awesome start for part 1, keep it up!
11619916
Thanks I try my best
One problem I have
Unless they somehow have human blood and DNA, this is impossible. Interspecies blood transfusions are impossible as it would cause anaphylaxis among a multitude of other problems in the recipient, as the body would see the foreign blood as an invader and would react accordingly. Death being the most common and probable outcome.
11622341
My thought exactly. They would react negatively and probably die
11622341
Fair, but on the flip side, they deal with multiple sapient species all the time, and would already know that.
So while blood type is most likely not the useful piece of data it would be for us, the more likely situation is that they know how to produce the blood from a sample that they currently had access to. Magic!
One thing that didn't feel right is[ "Ah, don't worry about it," Applejack said, still chuckling. "I should have known you'd pull something like that."] How could Applejack have known if its the 1st time that they truly met nothing he has done would have shown his playfulness like that. Its not bad just off.
Actually I don't blame him for yelling. Some people won't get something through their heads until you snap. Twilight needed accept the answer she was given instead trying to force it to change.
Hospitals never trust the patients word, cards, or dog tags. They always test your blood type themselves and blood typing is a pretty fast process. Reason for this is because giving someone the wrong blood can be catastrophic.
Monk
Transfusion with an unknown species. That could have ended poorly. Got real lucky, Nick! Wonder if this is a clue about the world MC’s in given there’s some compatibility between the two species.
11653166
A positive outlook with helpful criticism mixed in very refreshing to see :D
Finally got around to Chapter 2. It's a big step up from the first, minus some easy oversights of capitalization, but that's easy to read over.
One area I would point out where I think you could do better, which actually kind of surprised me, was in a portion of the exchanging of dialog:
Now, what I highlight in green I feel is really good dialog. I comes off as authentic and organic. What I highlighted in red, when I read it sounded like the tone shifted to be too formal and detached from the situation. It went from an extreme emotional response caused by Twilight's aggressive question and Nick's frustration from his inability to provide an answer to him providing a calm and collected, if not scripted, apology.
That's not to say what he said was wrong or inappropriate; it just felt a bit off for that exact phrasing without some better context in the narrative leading into it, like:
Even then, maybe not so formal, but that's just me.
Otherwise, great job bringing everyone back in. I loved reading how everyone got along and gathered around the phone, goofed around with pics, and took enjoyed themselves with only a few simple interactions. Everything you did with Redheart was incredibly sweet, as well. I use her a lot in my story as well. Got somewhat of a soft spot for her.
Also, afterthought side tangent:
Equines have eight major blood types. A, C, D, K, P, Q, U, and T. Compare that to human's A, B, AB, and O... Only that A types match up, but other factors still come into play, such as respiratory pigments, blood platelets, and plenty of other components that would likely trigger an immune response, allergic reaction, fever...
But for the sake of magical talking pastel-colored horses, we can give them a pass and say Nick, AJ, and Twi all have A type blood and their biology is close enough not to cause too many problems. Even if there were any, the old boy was out for a week, just say he had some antibiotics, immunosuppressant drugs, some antihistamines, and maybe a corticosteroid or two (anti-inflammation steroids, not the get-big in-the-gym kind), and he'd be fine.
Science is fucking crazy, yo.
RIP to Nick's fam. I've lost family to car wrecks myself. Lost a lot of good people in many ways, but... life comes at you fast. Sometimes, it's taken away just as fast.
11622341
Awe, damn, bro. I just started reading this story and made a comment about that then scrolled down to see you beat me to it.
11808162
Ever heard of xenotransfusions
A human can get animal blood
Without problems