The Dark Side of Equestria: The Iron Uprising

by Gabriel Smith

Act 1: The Science Minister

From the Diary of Bright Spark, 27th of Julember, 1640 ACA (After Celestia’s Ascent).

Dear diary,

Much has changed over the past thousand years since Celestia took the throne. The villain Discord lies defeated. While I of course wasn’t around during his reign, I did grow up hearing the stories, it must have been horrible - and I’m glad now we have the two Princesses ruling over us!

...Did I say two? Well, there were two up until the other one went crazy or something and Celestia had to lock her away in the Moon of all places. I know I’m not supposed to question, but if she has wings, can’t she just fly down from there? Or for that matter, why the Moon? Last time I checked, wasn’t that her base of operations? That would be like imprisoning me in my laboratory without restraints. Quite.

...I’m rambling again aren’t I?

Oh dear, so I am. Perhaps I should take a few moments to explain the world, yes?

Equestria is the largest nation on our continent, with borders stretching into the nearby Western Wastes (though why anypony would want to live there is beyond me), and our borders are vast enough to border territory with the nations of Mareguard and Zebgeria. While the Zebra are content enough to leave us be (we’ve only been at war a grand total of two times with the Zebra), the northern cities (especially dear old Stalliongrad) are often attacked by those Mareguard ruffians. It’s their fault they didn’t move when those Ice Spirits attacked! Quite.

Common discussion around the table says they can’t even grow their own crops, so they have to invade and pillage anything they can find, from food to drink - even our Mares! This sort of behaviour is most outrageous! Quite!

Despite all of this, our ruler Princess Celestia (though why she never took the old title of Queen eludes me to this day) guides over us all while protecting us. And all we have to do is not to question. I’m not sure why this is - she seems a nice enough Pony, maybe it’s just an old Mare’s tale based on the previous Monarchs? The truth as ever is beyond my grasp, but I shall find out someday, Quite.

...Anyway, where was I? I hope I put the kettle on...

Oh, yes! I remember now!

As with everything, we Equestrians endure as we have for the thousands of years we’ve been around. And with all the newfangled things ponies like myself have been hard at work, Celestia herself will be holding a special event to fill a newly created position she calls a “Science Minister” or something. We will be using the state treasury to monitor the progress of Invention and Industry. Furthermore, our position allows us to fund our own projects, so long as they benefit the state! This is wonderful, quite simply wonderful!

I’m hoping to enter, and furthermore I’m hoping to win! Quite! I’m excited now!

The only snag is that I am going to need help. You see, we’re supposed to show off an invention of ours. And while some of the other candidates have made things, I have yet to come up with something that actually works. My chances of success will be ruined if my new Automated Garden Raker explodes for the fifth time! I will speak with IronJack the first chance I get tomorrow!

Goodbye Diary. Sleep well now. We’ve a long day ahead of us tomorrow.

From the Notes of IronJack, 28th of Julember, 1640 ACA (After Celestia’s Ascent).

Hmpf.

That crackpot’s been at it again. No matter ‘ow many times ah tell ‘im, he just doesn’t listen. Then he goes on about tea and crumpets, or some other nonsense. And now ‘e’s trying to be this “Science Minister” for the grand ol’ Princess herself. If ah’d any confidence in ‘im, ah’d have told him to quit while he was ahead. Then ‘ed probably ask me when was ‘e ever a head or some other nonsense. Bah. Let ‘im fail in front of the Princess. That’ll show ‘im what’s what surely.

‘E showed me the plans for this “Automatic Garden Raker” of ‘is. Ah swear, bloody inventors - it’s like they’re tryin’ ta run us all out of ah jobs we’ve all been doin’ for thousands of years without a grumble. Still, for all the slack ah just gave him, ‘e tips well at least.


From the Records of Her Majesty Princess Celestia of Equestria, 29th of Julember, 1640 ACA (After Celestia’s Ascent).

Well, my my.

There wasn’t a whole lot to do today. Tea with the Pharaoh of Zebgeria was the most exciting the day ever got. We laughed and exchanged a few jokes and stories, before commenting himself on his observations. Naturally, I nodded along and listened. The Zebra’s may be...strange, and very different from my subjects, but that doesn’t mean he’s not worth listening too. After all, the Zebra’s have undergone a very similar revolution to ours, only thousands of years before now - and before the Draconiqui even showed up.

He simply parted a warning, that rampant technology unchecked would destroy Equestria. I indulged him, but also told him of the new Science Minister position I was personally appointing. He simply sighed and nodded along. He told me I wasn’t taking it seriously. I told him so far things had been good, and some of these new inventions were actually making the lives of my little ponies easier. Of course, he hates whenever I call them “my little ponies”. I quickly remind him that treating my subjects with love and kindness made me much more respected, like how a foal looks up for his mother. He called me naive and left. Oh well, he’s set in his ways anyway. He has his way of running things, and I have mine.

From the Diary of Bright Spark, 1st of Meigh, 1640 ACA (After Celestia’s Ascent).

Dear diary,

Well, tomorrow’s the day. I’m so nervous about this. I mean this is the Princess I’m showing a device towards, not a client! I hope IronJack sorted it out to my exact specifications. If this works, then the efficiency of raking a garden should be increased by 33.33%! Those other Garden rakes will be a thing of the past! At least I hope they will, I hope this thing doesn’t end up being too expensive for most Ponies to afford...or worse, we have catastrophic consequences like that Reducto-Ray I tried testing in the lab once. It took us days to find IronJack again and restore him back. I’m just glad a Spider didn’t find him first. Horrible things. Quite.

Anyways, so the panel I’m told is just Her Majesty Celestia. I should get used to calling her that. Or would I be profaning? I’m not sure.

All I can hope is that a month of planning and construction work hasn’t gone to waste. Quite.

Now...where’d I put that blasted teacup?

From the Records of Her Majesty Princess Celestia of Equestria, 2nd of Meigh, 1640 ACA (After Celestia’s Ascent).

Today was...surprising really.

That Science Minister position I had written about previously? Well, today was the day I was to judge the candidates. The problem was, most of the people who turned up were booooring! They were all super serious, no fun types who wanted the job so they could fund themselves. Mind you though, the inventions were certainly creative. There was this wooden craft that flew like a Pegasus - a “Plane” I think they called it - It took off, did a few loops around and landed. I clapped of course to be polite - but I wouldn’t have hired them. I wanted my Minister to have a bit more personality to them.

That’s when I saw them. The inventor was a Stallion - an Earth Pony stallion specifically - his body dyed many different colours, with his hair similarly technicoloured. He told me it used to be bright scarlet, and that some lab accident or another had changed his colour. He was accompanied by a rather dour looking Unicorn - a grey coloured giant of a Unicorn who looked more at home in a factory than one of these new laboratories. The technicoloured one explained he was the Engineer. I nearly spat out my tea when I heard this. Okay, I lied - I did spray it. All over the Unicorn. The Technicoloured Pony laughed, up until something I thought I’d never see - a death glare from a Unicorn. Clearly, this Unicorn wasn’t from the upper class. I do wonder how he ended up where he was though.

Anyway, so he showed off this massive contraption - at least twenty feet long on these crude copper wheels, with all these arms and spindly claw like hands. “The better to grab leaves” he told me. So he powered it up, and there was almost immediately this popping sound. A few moments later, some pressurised steam sprayed out from the casing. The Unicorn I swear hit his face with his own hoof, then yelled about how they should have “added some piping to the boiler”. I on the spot made the multi coloured Pony my Science Minister. Hey, it didn’t work, but he amused me - which was more than I can say for most of the things I saw today. He moves into Canterlot tomorrow. Hopefully he won’t mind the dreadful round of smog we’re having right now.

From the Diary of Bright Spark, 3rd of Meigh, 1640 ACA (After Celestia’s Ascent).

Dear diary,

Yes! Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes! Yes! Yes! YESSSSSS!!!!!

I’m the Science Minister! Equestria’s first ever Science Minister! I told IronJack she’d pick me, and she did! She did! I’m Excited! Ecstatic! Euphoric even! So what if my body can’t work out what colour it wants to be anymore? I’m still the Science Minister, and yaboo sucks to anyone else who thinks otherwise! Take that, critics!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s a long ride from Cubesbury to reach Canterlot. I’ve a lot of packing to do. Quite...

Comments

[Lord of Nothing]

I was never planning on posting comments, but this, THIS, deserves a rare comment from myself and a fave!
I look forward to the continuation with much anticipation!
Also, congrats in starting what I'm sure many people will come to use in the future.

[blerg]

Now this looks interesting, unlike some of the other drabble on the site!

[Thorlol]

Wow, I've seen this format in a few books, but never like this. Thumb and Fave.

[GuyInTheCorner]

This story. IT IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS.

Fav, like, and watch!

[Gabriel Smith]

Thank you everyone for the comments. If it doesn't look grimdark now, it should be getting a lot darker in later chapters. We had planned this out for some time now. My only concern is if I actually have the chops to pull it off...which is completely untested

[blerg]

eh, grimdark is okay, but throw in some comic relief occasionally. It helps to break the space up and offer some time to recover for the reader.

[Gabriel Smith]

1323418 Duly noted.