How to Forget Happiness

by LyraAlluse

Step One: Have an Overactive Imagination

Step One: Have an Overactive Imagination

At Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, have a really overactive imagination. Read tons of books on every subject. Never pay attention to what the teacher is telling the rest of the class. Instead, draw pictures of seaponies and dragons. Let yourself dream of places that nopony else can see. Tell your peers that you talk with Hayscartes, you are on a first-name basis with Princess Celestia, and that breezies live in your back yard. Let this weird the other foals out for a bit before explaining to them that you were just pulling their hoof (well, mostly).

Get called to Vice Principal Neighsay’s office (in the days before he became Chancellor Neighsay) to have a surprise meeting with your parents in the first grade. Have your first grade teacher join the little get-together. She will be dressed up really nice, in her Sunday’s best. She will tell your parents that she thinks you need to be on a Moondust Mood Enhancer or Moondust for short. Pretend not to understand what she is talking about, but secretly despise her for trying to discourage you from being yourself.

Take Moondust all through your second grade year. Don’t remember anything from it. Understand that the drug will affect your mind. You won’t want to do anything. You won’t want to sleep, eat or play with the other foals. Have your parents get worried sick over you.

Have them get so worried that they take you off of Moondust when you enter the third grade. As soon as you’re taken off of the vile enchanted powder, return to your old self again. Remember the pain that your peers, teachers and own flesh and blood has put you through. Let it rest unprotected like a deep cut on your heart. Learn bitterness at a young age. It will serve you well later in your quest for self-pity.