Chapter 18 – I Saw You
Present Day
Canterlot, Equestria
T.I.T.A.N. HQ
She heard he had retired to his private quarters, refusing to be entombed in a hospital bed, as the nurses said he had put it. It left her heart even heavier knowing he wanted to be alone, finding some false comfort in the shadows instead of the presence of others, or his pilots, who most assuredly needed his leadership now more than ever. Not even his leadership, just him. Just his presence would have been a comfort in their time of need.
Luna knew the pain of that separation more than anypony.
Twilight had her duties, and Celestia assured Luna she could handle reorganizing T.I.T.A.N. for the time being. With the time she was given, Luna would not waste it. For as the night droned on in a sleepless chaos within the mountainous walls of the T.I.T.A.N. HQ, the early morning hours were Luna’s domain. Swimming in a sea of dreams, she witnessed the various bubbles of the ethereal plane.
And she found Shatter’s to be particularly heartbreaking. And worrying. The things the dark recesses of his mind proclaimed in the memory, in the nightmare, were a cause for concern. The moment it ended was the moment Luna made her way to the hospital wing, only to learn of Shatter’s absence, which then brought her to his private quarters.
Standing alone in the dark, on the opposite side of the door, in the empty hallway.
She raised her hoof to the cool metal of the door, halting only centimeters in mid-knock. As if… sensing a haunting. A fleeting feeling of shadow beyond the door. A darkness that was all too familiar creeped within, hanging in the air, and then immediately retreated when her presence was felt. It was gone, and she breathed again.
Blinking rapidly, and softly knocking three times.
All she heard was a faint: “It is unlocked.”
Given that approval, and with her horn aglow, Luna made her entrance into his quarters. The metal door slowly swung open, and inside all Luna could see was Shatter Heart sitting up in his bed expectantly, staring straight ahead with a dead stare in his eyes. As if he had been in that position for maybe hours, and had molded himself into it. But Luna knew otherwise.
He was asleep mere minutes ago. It was as if he was already expecting her.
“Hello again… Shatter,” Luna addressed, cautiously making her approach to his bedside. In her soft hoofsteps, she took note of his room. The flag of Neighpon was draped from one end of the wall to the other, the insignia of Neighpon’s T.I.T.A.N. faction decorated as a large patch on his jacket hanging on the coat rack. Pictures, all in black and white, showed him and his pilots. Him and his brother. His parents. All of them face up. All reminders.
Noting that, with flashes of his dream coming and fading behind her closed eyes, Luna opened them and stood near his bedside. She offered a soft smile. “Did you sleep well?”
“You and I both know that’s not true,” he responded gravely.
Luna held her breath. “You know of my… abilities, then?”
“You are the Princess of the Night,” Heart muttered, tilting his gaze to her. “It is your duty to peek into the minds of your little ponies, to gaze into their dreams, to guide when needed, to comfort if necessary.” For a moment, Luna was taken aback by his words, made evident by the growth of her eyes. Shatter suddenly twitched, sighing with tight lips. “Or… former princess.”
Luna breathed a chuckle. “Well, the duty still stands, as far as I am concerned. Perhaps Twilight will learn about dream walking in the future, but as of now… I find comfort in aiding my little ponies whenever they are distressed. And yes, I do still like calling them ‘my little ponies’.”
It was Shatter’s turn to chuckle. Or, at least force one. “Somepony has to.”
“Like Princess Twilight,” the former ruler suggested. Shatter’s prolonged silence was telling, but Luna was determined. She cleared her throat gently. “Twilight is doing well, wouldn’t you agree?”
“She is doing her duty. The most any of us can do.”
That’s a start, Luna thought to herself. You cannot lose him now.
“She is leading T.I.T.A.N. well,” Luna mused, taking a seat on the floor. She slowly stared up to the ceiling, sighing. “The responses to these attacks have been efficient. Already, reinforcements and support units are moving to devastated areas to search for survivors. Major cities are slowly being evacuated. ORCA devices are in the air and we are constantly tracking Godzilla’s position. A necessary and effective response, I would say. Not only that… but her royal duties have improved immensely since she took the throne a year back. Leading this nation and T.I.T.A.N., building better many of the mistakes we have made in the past.”
“And yet your sister still covered it up.”
The interruption was sharp and direct, like a needle jammed too suddenly into the vein and injecting a freezing cold into the nerves. Luna stared at him, confusion in her eyes, but Shatter could see through it. He could see through her innocent attempts of leading him on, addressing his nightmares, and what he said in them.
“Do not treat me like a child, Director. I know why you are here. Peak into my mind, lead me into a false sense of security, try and convince that we are ‘better now’; is this how you lead in Equestria?” She opened her mouth to interrupt, but Shatter beat her to it. “You can try… all you like to convince me, but it won’t work. All else is a lie when I alone have the truth.”
She found that very interesting. Almost exactly like his subconscious mind proclaimed in the nightmare. Or perhaps he was fully conscious of what he said. “And what truth is that?” she asked.
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in several breaths, if to calm his nerves. Each breath was slower than the last, ensuring his heart was at ease. He couldn’t say the same for his mind, or his fractured spirit.
“He follows his own,” Shatter answered regardless of his internal war. Turning his stare to her, keeping it as cold as his frostbitten soul. “Gojira is not loyal to any nation or creed. He cares not… for suffering. For destruction. For annihilation is all he brings in his own crusade, his own rule of law. And will we be subjugated to his law? Will we always be at his mercy? Should he decide we are a threat… nothing could stop him from enacting his will. His order. His own… twisted, righteous intent that he alone follows. And now here we are… facing him.”
Once a long time ago, Shatter believed only he and his brother could know the truth fully. Others did, but those were stories passed down from generation to generation in his homeland, warning of the terrors the King of the Monsters could and very well would bring. It was a tale of caution, and it was just as true as any other historical event.
But now, that terror had spread, and all the world knew it. It was not some cautionary tale or ancient legend to tell children by the fire. It was real, and now everypony knew the truth, or some fraction of it. So, sharing it in full with Director Luna felt less discretionary. The situation had escalated to Shatter’s worst fears, and these were the conversations they needed to have, right here and now.
Instead, Director Luna changed the subject. “My sister asked you once before where your loyalty lies. Would you mind if I asked this time—?”
“No,” Shatter interrupted, then quickly added, “Now, it is my turn to ask: Why does your loyalty lie with those that hide the truth?”
Brow furrowing, expression shifting as if facing an insult, Luna argued, “There is nothing hidden anymore. The whole world sees Godzilla’s actions now, Shatter Heart.”
“Then why hide them all those years ago?” he snapped.
Her expression calmed down considerably. Hearing the raw emotion dripping from his tone, and knowing all he had been through—having seen it through his eyes—Luna took a moment to watch her own boundaries. T.I.T.A.N. had not dealt Shatter and his people a fair deal. She was not present for such decisions to take place, but her sister was. Celestia knew what was at risk, and Luna trusted her with more than her life. In this life and the next, Luna would never doubt her sister.
Did it make T.I.T.A.N.’s actions right, though? Did hiding what happened lead to the best possible outcome, when what they feared for years now became a reality? If anything, Luna found solace in finally facing these questions now, with Shatter of all ponies. Better than leaving it buried.
So, she responded. “My sister did not wish for chaos to unfold globally… much like the world leaders of the time. Tensions were already high as it was, and bringing in Titans would have only sparked a greater flame that I am afraid nopony would have been able to douse. At least… that was their thinking back then.”
Luna slowly turned to meet Shatter’s cold, hardened stare with her soft one. “It was a different time back then. Many uncertainties, many insecurities. Though, they made do. My sister worked within the boundaries, maintaining the peace while supplying those who suffered. She ensured T.I.T.A.N. would aid all who suffered from unprovoked Titan attacks.”
“Yet she found no trouble in silencing them when they spoke the truth.”
“Are any of us so innocent?” Luna asked, and the break in her voice was real. The surprise in Shatter’s expression was just as real, but he slowly understood where she was getting at. Even the lands beyond Equestria knew the tale, the history, of Nightmare Moon. Especially considering what Celestia had done to her own sister…
“But what I said earlier was no lie: Twilight is building better the mistakes of the past. After the Crystal Empire, when Twilight was made head of T.I.T.A.N., she ensured that nothing more was hidden. Everything was uncovered by the organization to the public, including the disaster in Izunokuneigh.”
The look on his face just as quickly dampened at the utterance of that haunted name. “Yes, she had no choice at the point, did she? There was no denying what millions of creatures died for, and what millions more witnessed with their own eyes,” Shatter whispered. Noticing Luna’s continued, silent stare, Shatter managed an elongated scoff, weakly chuckling, weakly out of breath until he took it back in. “Oh, am I supposed to be thankful? Does it now make it right to have hidden what happened to my home? Or silencing my brother and I?”
He learned forward in his bed, whispering sharply, “Are the fallen of Izunokuneigh now being heard?”
The needle quickly shifted from her vein to her heart, and Luna was frozen like a glacier.
“We have always heard you,” the director replied, voice shaken lightly. She blinked a few times, but no tears. “Even upon my return, when my sister told me, my heart ached. As it still does now. We sought to prevent chaos before… as we do now. The suffering heard around the world will not be silenced. T.I.T.A.N. is on the path to peace, to unity, and it is one that we all must stand together on. In order to commit to a better future where we all survive.”
Shatter Heart never broke his eyes away. The haunting she had seen in his gaze before in the medical wing was just as present now as it was then. The turmoil Shatter had been through was devastating. It was a tragedy, and it left him with scars both visible and invisible. Scars that painted him into who he was. So, it was not a surprise to hear what he had to ask next.
“Where Gojira survives?” he asked quietly.
It was not a surprise that Luna did not answer.
It was as if he had expected the silence. “I do not know,” Shatter sighed, leaning forward and staring at his crumpled sheets. “I do not know if I can forgive T.I.T.A.N. for what they did back then.”
Just like him, she expected him to say something along those lines. Which only meant she was ready for it, and knew how to respond. Luna rested her hoof over his and asked, “Could you hope to one day?”
In some odd way, Shatter did not feel the same touch as he had with Twilight. Her hoof felt like nothing to him, like a false comfort, a weightless charity, as he had known before. Yet—and he could admit—after everything Director Luna had done; coming to him after his nightmare, avoiding the formalities when it mattered, speaking to him on a deeper, personal matter, that was something he could admire. That was an honor not many had earned from him.
Monarchies and politics aside, they were both still ponies. They both had living, beating hearts. They both had souls. They both knew pain and hurt together. And most of all… they had the ability to heal from it.
It almost surprised him to hear himself say, “I can hope.”
Her smile was lovely. Warm and comforting, unlike the stories he had heard of the Princess of the Night. It almost pained him to pull his hoof away. “But now… what can we do? It is all happening again… only now, the world sees Gojira for what he really is: a monster, a destroyer. You know my dreams; T.I.T.A.N. does not have the power to defeat this common enemy. Perhaps not even the armies of the world stand a chance to this great evil. The only chance we had… my Mecha…”
There were the fresh wounds again, bleeding profusely when his face broke. He buried it just as quickly, much to Luna’s dismay. “When he rises once more, I will be the first to lead our creation to the demon that threatens every life,” he hissed.
It was more than a threat; it was a promise, and those sometimes were the most dangerous. Luna admired his tenacity, his fighting spirit, but even she could see through the smoke and fog. She could plainly see the path he was treading and the ocean before him was black. It was limitless. No end to the depravity one could travel when given the mission and will to see it through.
There was no denying the darkness in him, as there was in her when she fell to Nightmare Moon.
“Shatter…” Luna uttered, and forced herself to push, “… this path you are on… what peace can be found in it? You seek blood… vengeance. There is hate in your heart and something far, far worse, I fear. I do not wish for you to continue down the same path I once walked when I rebelled against my sister.”
She rested her hoof over his once more and tightened it, ensuring he didn’t pull away. He needed this, Luna just knew it. “What Twilight said rings true now as it did then… we are here for you. We know your past, and there is nothing to fear of it any longer. You are not alone anymore.”
He stared at her hoof, then slowly raised his head so their eyes could meet. The red in each eye was telling. “I never was. Not until I lost my brother…”
“You,” Luna reaffirmed, holding his hoof as fiercely and passionately as she could, her eyes burning with the same ferocious passion, “Are not. Alone.”
She emphasized each word, as if convincing not only him, but herself. For she had faced her own personal demons, just as Shatter was battling his now. The way Shatter’s dreams tortured him, much like the Tantabus tortured her. It was Luna’s own doing to punish herself for the years of grief she caused Equestria and her sister. Only together, with Twilight and her friends, were they able to pull her out of that tortured mindset she had engrained in herself.
As if… she needed a reason to feel justice was served. She needed somepony to pay for what she had done. And that somepony just so happened to be herself. Only afterward, when Celestia had heard of it, when she was comforted by her older sister, when she was assured that her past deeds were forgiven and there was no punishment necessary… it was then Luna knew she wasn’t alone anymore.
Shatter was, in many ways, no different… and yet different all the same. He wanted justice, or vengeance, as he more so saw it. He wanted somepony to pay for these travesties. He would turn that hatred to Godzilla, but to what end? He alone could not fight the beast any more than the armies of T.I.T.A.N. could. That was why his subconscious mind tortured him. Those were the nightmares, the memories, all supplying him with the reason and the strength to do what he believed was right.
And if her presence was there for him, proving to him that he was not alone, perhaps they could walk the right path together. Not the path of vengeance, but justice.
Only… a little seed of doubt remained, and one that left Luna with the most subtle of chills lingering under her coat. As if she doubted it was Shatter’s own doing for his nightmares. As if… it was another darkness altogether. Perhaps one she personally knew.
Perhaps… a thought to delve into later. For Shatter broke the silence and asked, “Would you have done differently?”
Luna almost did a double take. In a way, she almost expected him to ask something along those lines, but it was still jarring. It was still so incredibly heavy on her heart to hear him ask, “Had you never rebelled, had you ruled alongside your sister… would you have told the world the truth?”
The pain in his voice was agonizing. It sounded as if he desperately needed to know, and it all the more burned her soul. The question lingered in the quiet longer than she would have liked. Left in a state of bewilderment was unbecoming of the former Ruler of the Night. It did not reflect the co-director of T.I.T.A.N. and the strong persona she had crafted, either. But she was trapped, refusing to give a comforting lie after all the progress she had made with Shatter. He didn’t deserve that. He deserved what he believed.
He deserved the truth, and one that Luna truly didn’t know how to answer.
The best she could offer was: “Seeing how our world is today… how the masses reacted and adjusted to the Titans… I would have liked to. But back then… simply not knowing… simply… not being ready… I am not so sure.”
A lukewarm response, but the only one Luna could manage for such uncertainty. The past was the past, and even back then they did not know how the world would be tomorrow. They did what they thought was best, what was safest, as they continued to do now. The world knew now, and the best they could do was continue to fight for their way of life.
As for Shatter, he appeared crestfallen by her answer. But not shocked. Perhaps his lack of surprise hurt her the most.
She would not have his loss of faith in who they were or what they could be. She refused to release his hoof, in fact, tightening hers to his. Reaffirming to him fiercely and truthfully, “Shatter… we need you. You and all your pilots, now more than ever… May I ask where your loyalty lies?”
His stare met her own, and this time she was given an answer. A familiar one at that. “With our world… With ponykind, always.”
Almost exactly what he said that day in the throne room. Though, Luna noted the lack of his first response: “With the crown…” Did it mean something deeper, or did she delve too much into nothing? Regardless, it was an answer she could accept, despite her haunting doubts. She gave him one more promising grip of her hoof to his, assuring him in silence that he was not alone, before she rose to let him rest. It was still quite early in the morning.
The fact remained, however; he always stood by that belief. Ever since he joined T.I.T.A.N., since he stepped hoof in Twilight’s throne room, and even now as Luna offered one last smile and left him, closing the door behind her, he always believed that. He always fought for that.
Now, Shatter was even more convinced of that.
Artwork by Shrekzilla.
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A very Interesting and great chapter.
I'm always happy when Luna gets some attention. She's one of my favourite characters and my favourite princess (okay, I know she's not a princess anymore but... you know what I mean). Its good to see Luna starting to worry about Shatter's feelings towards Godzilla. A good nod to the Nightmare Moon incident that Luna can easily recognise and empathise with such feelings. Knowing that a personal grudge could easily blind you, Luna foresees the danger that could come if Shatter goes down that road. A path where you think what you are doing is justified but in reality, it does far more harm than good.
The line between justice and vengeance can sometimes be very blurred, especially for those who do not allow others to help them.
Shatter, because of what happened in the past, sees Godzilla as nothing more than a destroyer, and because of his resentment notices only the clues that confirm that belief and ignores the rest. This is, unfortunately, something that happens all too often in the real world. We often only see what we expect too see and this is why I think Shatter Heart is such a good character. His main character flaw is something very relatable. Now the question is, will Shatter have a positive character arc, learning to let go of his hatred, or will he have a negative arc, holding on to his grudge and probably dying in a similar way to Captain Ahab from Moby Dick.
Only time and the rest of this story will tell. Personally I hope Shatter can reform himself but if it's the second option and it's good in execution I'm fine with that too.
Keep up the good work and I see you next time.
As much as I feel for Shatter, and his losses, he has no idea what's really going on. As far as anyone knows, Godzilla may be suffering just as much from all the destruction he's being forced to commit by Ghidorah. He's as much a victim in this as Shatter is.
11582676 Very good point you made: the line between justice and vengeance is often blurred. Perhaps we can see just which side Shatter chooses
11582711 All they see is the fire. They don't see the suffering Godzilla is going through as well
Next chapter will have three illustrations.
The word count will be roughly around 7,000 words.
Will you do a review of the first season of netflix Skull Island ??
11592512 If I ever check it out, sure :)
11592967
Hey man I was wondering if you’re still planning on adding the young six in this story?
It was good of Luna to reach out to Shatter like this. Unfortunately, though I feel very bad for him and all he is lost, he seems to be deluding himself into thinking that killing Godzilla will fix all his trauma. He's just starting a fight he has no chance of winning. Plus, even if by some minuscule chance he succeeds in killing Godzilla (I'm talking less than 1%), it will just make everything worse. If he keeps acting like he is now he'll just get himself killed, and the only real question will be how many people he gets killed along with him.