The Quiet Kid: Sicut Vult

by aegishailstorm

Dispositions

" This is odd." He repeated, examining the street. He was right by the new library, just a short 5 minute jog from his house.

He quickly ran over from the alleyway to his house and went around back, the glass of his back door was unbroken, he materialized his key and opened the door, throwing back the curtain and scanning the living room. "Hello?" He asked softly. No reply was given, he locked the door behind him. And proceeded up the stairs to the second floor of his home with his sidearm up in one hand. Everything seemed to be just as he had left it. He went off too the right and looked out his bedroom window. At first glance the town seemed intact and undamaged. Then, he noticed a few wisps of smoke rising from the north side of town. Another thing, there were no pegasi in the air. Not a single one. Which was very out of place, given that there were usually around 2 to 5 pegasi flying around at any given time. Even though the town was predominantly made up of earth ponies.

"Hmph. Now's one of those moments where I wish I could just call Twilight and ask her a question. This ain't normal." He opened his front door and looked out into the street.

"This better not be some kinda pocket dimension that Chrysalis teleported me to!" He looked around. He could hear dogs barking, that was good. It meant that some creatures were still here.

"Dawgone it! I was planning on rewatching Smokey and the Bandit!" He kicked a stone off his front porch.

"I oughta check and see if Joey's here." He jogged over to his friends house and pounded on the door. "Hey, bud! Open up!"

No response. He banged on it again. And waited. After half a minute, it occurred to him that he probably wasn't home. He wasn't quite willing to try knocking on Crimson Skywatcher's door just yet. And he didn't really know his other neighbors all that well. And so, he decided to try heading over to the town hall. A few minutes, and he was there. He twisted the door handle and crept inside. "Hello? Anyone in here?" He surveyed the dimly lit room.

"Oh, William. I'm so glad you could join us! Haha!" It took him a few seconds to recognize the voice.

"Ma'am. Mayor. Might you be able to tell me what happened to... I don't know, everyone?"

"Oh, I can't help you with that. But I would be more than happy to relocate your face!" His eyes widened behind his sunglasses." The hell did you just say?" William's hand went to his gun. "She's a pony, she might've just threatened to kill you. But, she's still a pony. Damnit!"

"What are you talking about?" He kept a calm tone. And an awkward smile on his face. " Seriously though. Please tell me."

"You piece of-" The mayor threw something at him. He sidestepped as it clattered to the floor. "That was a perfectly good chair, why'd ya do that?"

"You're the worst!" She threw another chair at him. This time, he caught it, and set it down. He growled. "Damnit lady! I have done nothing! I was gone all yesterday! I barely know you but I'm fairly sure this ain't normal." As he finished his sentence, a baseball flew through the window and hit him in the head, harmlessly bouncing off of his head.

"This is ridiculous. Agh!" He groaned as he stood up, and began to walk over to the mare who was throwing things at him from behind a podium. He was sick of putting up with this. He had no tolerance for things like this.

"Where are you!?" He walked around the podium. And was met with, well... It definitely looked like the mayor. Except for the fact that her fur was matted with dirt and sweat, and he eyes were glowing a deep red.

"Who put what in your coffee this morning?" She snarled, which seemed out of place. " I don't know, I can't stand it!" She whipped around and reared up. William scrambled out of the way as she sent a kick into the nearby wall. "That's it!" He whipped out his cattle prod. " You're commin' with me!" He reached into a small pouch on his gun belt and pulled out some paracord, then began to tie the mare to the sturdiest chair he could find.

"What's happening to you!?" He demanded. Where did everypony else go?" She didn't look scared in the slightest. Which concerned William. Usually ponies would start shuttering if he so much as brushed up against them in public. Something which had started to go away before the Canterlot bombing. With some of them even attempting to invite him over for brunch. But, after the attack, they were all back to their old scared selves.

They took change even worse than he did.

"I oughta throw you in a closet and leave you? Would you like that!?" She continued to growl and whinny in an almost feral manner. He rolled his eyes and pocketed his sunglasses.

"This is ridiculous. " He filled a bowl with water and propped it up next to her like a dog. "Now listen ma'am, you gon' stay RIGHT here 'till I figure this out. I'm sorry if you have to go to the bathroom, just... Drag yourself over there. Ok?" She began screaming bloody murder. And a spoon flew through a window and hit William in the arm.

"What now!?" He stormed outside. Standing there was Rarity. With the same glowing red eyes. "So, what do you think of my apparel? I actually found something other than camo that I like." She snarled, and levitated up what must have been a dozen drawers worth of silverware. Knives and all.

"Damn. This looks bad." He ducked, and the room filled with aggressive silverware. Tearing through the windows and thin walls. William dove for cover, the mayor growled in anger, but did so as well.

"Oh William!? I'm going to start a new fall lineup! I think I'll name them all after different parts of YOU!!" She cackled. William brought his gun up at a 30 degree angle and sprayed out the window let off several shots on semi-auto.

"Back the fuck off!" He swapped to a more complete helmet with a face shield, and a more durable rig with tougher plates and arm protection. A sort of ballistic vest t-shirt. Alongside shin pads. "Come at me!" He let off more shots in the general direction of the flying silverware as he ran half crouched, contemplating what he was going to eat for lunch as a fork imbedded itself in his right shoulder pad. He ran upstairs and threw open a door leading out onto a balcony. He began scanning his surrounding all of a sudden a white and blue blur tore through the skies and a figure glared down at him.

"Joey. Hey, hey!" He waved to him. The alicorn floated above him. Blocking out the sun and casting shadows across the deck.

"William!?" He sounded almost happy to see his friend, but William knew to dive when he began charging his horn and sent a bolt of magical energy through the deck. Causing the Mayor to break out into another fit of equine cursing.

"What are you doing!?" William shouted back. The alicorn didn't respond. He only circled back around for another pass. William rolled back on inside and waited. Joey disappeared in a flash of blue light, and reappeared right outside. At this moment, he sprung and tackled the alicorn. They both would have gone tumbling over the side had Joey not bounded up into the air in an attempt to throw William off.

"What the hay is wrong with you!?" The alicorn screamed, bounding from side to side and kicking in an attempt to get William off. Who was now hanging on for dear life.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" William repeated, trying not to look down. Almost as if sensing his friends thoughts, the equine stopped in mid air, and went into a steep glide. William swung his way up onto his back and yanked his wings back. The alicorn came to a grinding halt about 50 feet off the ground.

"Cut the crap before you get us both killed! Maybe after that you can tell me what's going on!" His friend ignored him, and barrel rolled. This wasn't working. And, on that note. He used to be unaware that a pegasus could buck in mid-air. He was now. Joey punched through the cloud layer, revealing a half dozen pegasi with murderous expressions on their faces and glowing red eyes.

"Hey guys, remember me?" They appeared to not. They all rose into the air around him.

"Do y'all mind? What'd I ever do to you?" They all growled in unspoken agreement. And then kicked William off of his alicorn.

"Damnit! Go to hell-" He was freefalling for a moment, then he disappeared through the clouds beneath a parachute. Then crash landed on the road and took of running. He looked up, and watched the silhouettes of a dozen flying equines disappear out of sight.

"Agh! They aren't usually-ever like this. Something is really wrong. If only I could call Twilight. Where was a good sorcerer when you needed one, eh? He could go to Zecora. But that was an almost 45 minute walk. And he didn't feel like putting up with all the rhyming.

"Maybe her old castle will have something noteworthy!" He began to creep his way across town. But, he froze when he passed through Sugarcube corner. A bloodcurdling laugh rang out from within the pastry shop. William decided not to investigate.

"Cupcakes!" He muttered with a chuckle. Hoping that he wouldn't have to spend his afternoon mopping up blood. He hurried his way along. The School of Friendship looked empty as well. He'd check that place later. He crept up to the door and slung it aside. Locking it behind him, he activated his weapon light and shone it down the hallway. Almost on que, the crystals on the wall began to glow a blueish white, lighting up the room for him.

"Well ain't that convenient?" He said with a light chuckle. Tapping the walls with his knuckles. He went straight for the library.

"Hello there William." Rainbow Dash's voice echoed through a hall. "Let me guess, you're lookin' to kill me too?"

"Ah man! You ruined the surprise!"

"Speakin' of that, where are ya?" He heard a growl. "The throne room, just try me!" He laughed. "There ain't no way in hell you'd ever be able to stand up to me with a straight face- Actually, scratch that. You're borderline insane!" He rounded the corner, and found Rainbow... Twirling a sword which she must have gotten out of a display case somewhere. Her eyes were glowing blood red, and her mouth was practically foaming with rage.

"Are you sure!?"She lunged at him, William sidestepped. And drew his tomahawk. "I don't wanna hurt you!" He shouted. She landed on all fours. And began to circle him. "Good, 'cause I wanna hurt you!" Rainbow charged again, William batted her away with the tip of his blade.

"But why? What happened?" This actually caused her to halt for a second. "There was a scream, and a flash of red, and now I wanna tear your head off!!!" He was now forced into the moral dilemma of attacking the pegasus trying to murder him, and retrea-tactically withdrawing and going another route. Instead, he transitioned from a tomahawk to a gladius, and parried Rainbow Dash's blade, he locked hilts, and twisted the blade out of her mouth. Then gave her a 'gentle' tap on the head with the pommel of his weapon. She stumbled, William grabbed her and swept her leg, dropping her to the ground.

"Stay down!" He ordered. "Dear lord, what's next? The CMC throws a Molotov cocktail in my face!?" He twitched. The pulled out a set of quick tie zip-cuffs and fastened them around her legs. "Stay quiet." She scowled at him. He patted her on the head and ruffled her mane.

"I'll rip out your-" He covered her mouth with a piece of duck tape. "Stay still and don't try anything. I've gotta deal with somepony else." She began to roll away in protest, and then darted up into the air for a brief moment before William yanked her down.

"I reckon I oughta tie up your wings as well!" He sat her up in her respective chair in the map room, leaving the door open by a crack and then left the building. But, as he walked down the path towards the school and onto the bridge over the pond. His vision was suddenly filled with a purple glow, and an alicorn figure appeared ahead of him.

"Twilight!" He shouted. " According to powers beyond my control, you were recently made ruler over this land! And so, I would like to humbly ask that you explain to me why I've spent my morning dodging silverware and trying not to get trampled to death by herds of murderous ponies!?" She set herself down.

"What? No, no, Spike sent me a message and asked that I come and visit, I had heard that you were taking Chrysalis back to her hive- By the way, where is-"

"No time, damnit! Explain!" He pointed to the purple and little green dragon approaching them with a broken cider bottle in claw.

"Spike, what are you doing with that?" His eyes glowed blood red. "You never spend enough time with me!" He roared. Charging at her with the bottle angled like some sort of mini bayonet. She picked him up in a magical aura. Rendering him mostly harmless.

"What happened here?"

"I don't know, but it's townwide, even Joey tried to turn me into a scorch mark on the pavement. I don't even know where he learned those spells!" Twilight sighed, and looked down at Spike. "Well, I think I recall what this is, Starlight Glimmer attempted to literally bottle up her anger a while back. Do you know who cast the spell?" William shook his head.

"Nope. Just showed up, and ponies started attacking me."

"Huh, give me a moment. I just need to take a sample of the spell, and, if we can't find the caster, then I'll have to look into creating a cure. I shouldn't be that hard considering I've seen it before."

"You're talking about this thing like it's a plague." She rolled her eyes.

"Because that is what it is. It's a metaphysical virus comprised of sentient emotions. The reason why you haven't been 'infected' yet, lies in the fact that you always seem to be angry." William laughed, and crossed his arms.

"That, is a very accurate observation Twi." She cocked her head off to one side and raised an eyebrow.

"You never called me that before, why now?" William smiled. "Just trying to take your mind off the fact that your dragon companion is trying to tear out your throat." She jumped as Spike sunk his fangs into her fur. There was a bright flash of reddish light, wisps of smoke drifted up. William put his hand up to shield his eyes.

"Twilight? Ya good?" He watched as the alicorn of friendship lifted up off the ground, and glared down at him with bloodshot eyes. What left her mouth in the moment after was something less resembling coherent speech, and falling more in line with a distinctly equine cry of rage. She ignited her horn. William raised his rifle and fired off a burst. The little rubber bullets bounced harmlessly off of a magical shield.

"I'm gonna gut you like a fish!" Spike shouted gleefully, waving his broken bottle around like a bayonet atop Twilight. William wanted to make a joke about Napoleon, but he had a hard time finding anything to laugh at.

"Do you honestly think you can hurt me!?" An eldritch voice rose up from within Twilight, William took off running. Out of town.

"I've got to loose them." He thought to himself as he ran back the way he came. William sprinted, and sprinted, and sprinted. As it turns out, a human cannot possibly outrun a pony at full gallop. Much less a pegasus. Alicorns even less so. He ran until he was coughing and sputtering and his vision blurred. Twilight kept gaining on him.

"God, I wish this she were some other creature. If this was any dragon they'd be taking a lead rich dirt nap by now!" He dove until a flower cart and watched as Twilight over shot. Losing him. He crawled into a side street and sat up behind some planter boxes to rest. After that he continued on his way out of town. Wondering where to go.

"Maybe Zecora would be willing to help me? God no, I can't stand all the rhyming. And her shack reeks of Swamp Fever."

He ranted over his options as he made his way back around the Town Hall and across the bridge leading southeast out of town. As he was about halfway across, the shadow of a pegasus danced across the ground. And he took off running, he jumped into the first patch of bushes he could find on the other side of the creek. He went prone down by an oak tree and looked across the stream with a thermal scope. He could see everything. Even the pegasi congregating in the skies above. He could see the two alicorns, both in flight looking for him. He could see the mayor through the broken window. And a whole host of any unicorns and earth ponies. Even Vinyl Scratch was there. And she almost never left the confines of her home.

"Just like a hog hunting trip down in West Texas!" A voice in his head muttered. He pushed the thought aside. "A semi-auto .300 Win mag rifle with a suppressor and a bipod would work great with this optic." He thought to himself.

No. That wasn't ok. He was this town's One Man SWAT team, their minuteman. As the towns only gun owner and trained tactician, he had an obligation to uphold the ideals of the Second Amendment of The United States constitution in this place. He had an obligation to protect those who could not defend themselves. Because, in this town. His neighbors problems had a way of becoming his as well. Even in an far off world. The words written in that ancient document still held life. Such was the way things were in the world.

William heard the rustling of leaves behind him. He drew a suppressed Glock 18 with a weapon light on the end and waited for whatever it was to poke through the bush. He saw a glimmer of sunlight glance off of a bit of blueish hoof fur. A unicorn mare stumbled out, his light lit up the whole scene. He put his finger to his mouth.
"Shh..."

Her eyes were wide eyed with terror. She looked oddly familiar. "Hey... you're that journalist that tried to interview me a while back!"

Frosty Fields had deployed the spell, just the way Grogar had asked her to. He had told her that he would materialize an escape portal. But, as it turns out, an ancient magical bunker inside a similarly magic forest run by a Magic Bell didn't exactly have the best reception. The goat-bell had simply told her to hide, and that he would have his teleportation spells back up and running in any moment. That was over 10 hours ago. It was now light out. And he hadn't called back. So, she had taken to hiding in the first patch of foliage she came across. Which, coincidently enough, was the same one William had climbed into some time later. And, since she wasn't exactly the best hider, he had noticed her. And was now holding her at gunpoint.

"Sh... Calm down. Frosty Fields, is it? What are you doing here?" She looked at him concededly.

"I-I was just in town visiting some friends, and everypony started trying to kill me!" She sat down, and pawed the ground, her tail swished nervously. William shook his head. She stared at him wide eyed. Her eyes moving darting from his gun to his face.

"Do you by any chance know any spells for fixing emotional plagues?" He pointed back at the town, she shook her head in response and gave an awkward smile." Sorry..." William turned around. Frosty looked to be on the verge of a mental breakdown. He barely knew this mare. But he didn't want her giving away his position. So he turned around a set his hand on her mane.

"Don't worry, just stay right here and don't make any noise. When the screaming and gunfire stops. It oughta be safe then." She flopped onto the ground in a fit of tears. He sighed. "Gee, I can't do anything for you, can I? Well, don't be a burden. Thanks." He gave her a nod and a thumbs up. And set off.

"That was close." She thought to herself. Getting back up off the ground and dusting herself off.

"This is so stupid!" William said with a disconcert grunt as he hit the forward assist on the side of his rifle. He was out of options. Sweet Apple Acre, judging by the sound of clanging pitchforks, wasn't worth the trouble. Which left him with one option.

"Crimson."

He stood at the edge of the pathway leading up to his next door neighbor's home. He hung his head. "Goodness gracious, what the hell is this world comin' too?" He fixed his jacket and walked up to the front porch, he gently tapped on the front door. Then backed off to the side and awaited a response. The door creaked open. And William poked his head in.

"Hello?" He stepped in, his gun at low ready. The room was all dark. And, go figure, as soon as he was through the precipice. The door closed behind him.

"Hello." It was Crimson alright. William turned his head, and spotted a pair of glowing eyes in the darkness. Candlelight flickered across the room. And she came into view. "Hello William. I've been waiting for you." He raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" A wicked smile curled up over her face. She took a step forward. William took a step back. Crimson whined. "Just what are you doing here?" She walked up slowly and brushed up against his right leg. He looked down and frowned.

"Have you looked out of your window recently? Maybe listened to the chaos unfolding out there? Everyone I know is trying to murder me because of some errant spell!" She chuckled, and whisked her tail around.

"Really? Why be worried about that? You know, I've never really taken the time to get to know you." She winked at him. He facepalmed, and glanced around.

"Question, are you high right now?" She blushed, and crossed her front paws siting down in front of him with a smile. Her eyes sparkled red. William cringed. Something was definatly off.

"Ok, enough of this. I'm going to get a bucket of ice water." She pouted. " Oh, c'mon! Just relax William!" He turned and walked into her kitchen, reached into the ice cooler. Reminding himself that he was the only person in town to have running water, he threw some ice cubes into a 5 gallon Home Depot bucket and half melted it. "Sorry carpet. But she needs to come to her senses-"

"Oh, way down yonder on a Chattahooche..." She was singing, it was slurred, but she was singing.

"Hay, since when do you know Alan Jackson?" He turned around, and readied the bucket. She rounded the corner at the same time, and tackled him. He carefully guided the bucket to the ground. She set her head on his plate carrier and rolled over. Then licked his visor and began panting.

"Get off of me. I thought we settled this ages ago!" He grabbed her by the forelegs and pulled her up, then walked over and dropped her in the bucket. She screamed, and jumped right in between his legs. William looked down in surprise. Just in time for the candle to fizzle out.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Her voice called. William tapped on his amplified hearing protection. He could hear Crimson Starwatcher slowly trotting circles around him.

"What is it that you want... Exactly?" A giggle echoed through the house.

"Oh, you know..." William grimaced at the statement.

She bounded into and out of sight. He heard wings unfolding, and something heavy jumped on his back. He felt something clawing at his neck, and wheeled around and practically crawled out the front door and slammed it shut to the protest of Crimson. But then thought things over.

"I need her help to fix the rest of my friends!" He swapped over to his thermal scope and tracked the wolf-pony to the back door. Being careful not to wake the cockatrices up. He slid the screen door aside. And her ears perked up.

"Yes?" She asked in a soft voice. William twitched. And, with a thunderous roar, jumped into the darkness and grabbed her.

"Change your mind Will?" He bit his lip. "No one calls me WILL!" He snatched her up by the mane, and waterboarded her with the bucket of ice water.

"Agck! What the hay!?" She shuttered. And bounded away from him. " Get your gloves off of my mane!" She glared at him. William chuckled, and tapped his boot on the hardwood floor.

"Heh, you're back to yourself! Thank the eldritch gods of Home Depot!" Crimson raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" William sighed. " Long story." Her eyes widened.

"Wait, did I-"

"Yeah, you almost did." She laughed uncomfortably. William raised his ballistic visor.

"Never speak of this again."

"Agreed." Crimson nodded hurriedly. That they shook on it.

"Now." He clapped his hands. " Can you help me fix the malevolent emotional virus that made everyone in town want to try to murder me?" She shrugged. "Sorry, I'm not really the magical type. Try Fluttershy." He facepalmed.

"Ok, I'll see ya around." He turned around and walked out the back door. "Sorry for the door by the way. I rushed the breach."

"I... Can see that."

William was kicking himself until the sun went down. Fluttershy, meanwhile, was both seemingly unaffected, and capable of solving his problem. Give or take a half hour later. And the whole town was asleep in the afternoon sun. Sleeping off the wave of insanity that had fallen over all of them. All the while, William took a seat on his front porch and whittled a stick with a pen knife while an old Jerry Reed song played over a small radio. He set an apple down and ate pieces off the tip of his knife.

"Ah," he looked up into the sky and watched a bat dart in and out of view.

"Life, life is good. Come morning I'll get started on figuring out who did this. 'Till then it's easy going." He set his boots up on a stool and smiled.

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