The Quiet Kid: Sicut Vult

by aegishailstorm

Feels Like Home

"Out in the front yard sittin' on a log..." He felt a hoof tap him on the shoulder.

"William!"

"Eh?" William tipped up his sunglasses and eyed the disconcert alicorn overshadowing him. William pushed Joey out of the way and stood up.

"What is it? I'm singing along to one of my favorite songs. Trying that, 'be happy' thing you've been telling me so much about."

"I don't have any problem with that man. One of Starwatcher's cockatrices got lose again. And Carrot Top is halfway to becoming a statue!" William sighed and put his hands on his belt.

"Walk with me." The two began to walk in unison away from Joey's front yard. William pointed back at the expanse of grass and the small garden out in front of his friends quaint Equestrian cottage.

"I need that." The alicorn arched an eyebrow and looked at him with an expression of confusion on his face.

"The chair you were just sitting on, my house, the garden, or all of them at once?" William laughed.

"I want a yard. I'm sick and tired of waking up to the sight of my neighbors tending to their gardens and then shuffling off to work across bare gravel and cobblestone. I've got a backyard that leads right off into the woods, sure. But that just ain't the same." The alicorn trotted alongside him let out a laugh and smiled up at him with earnest.

"Then... Just build yourself one. How hard can it be?" A shrill scream rose up from the next street over. Followed by Rainbow Dash's cry of; "I don't got it! Run everypony!"

And shortly after, " Oh NO YOU DON'T!" From Applejack, William's pace grew quicker. He drew a cattle prod from thin air, and calmly walked out into the town square. He scanned his field of view until he spotted the demonic chicken-creature. They were incredibly dangerous animals in their own right. Why one would raise them for eggs and meat was completely beyond him. But, Crimson Starwatcher managed regardless.

"Applejack?" He called out. " He could hear the crack of a lasso flying through the air. " Dang! Fell short!" The cockatrice darted out from behind a cupcake stand.

" Does Crimson want it alive or dead!?" Rainbow Dash poked her head out from behind the fountain. " I don't know. But I'm loosing my cool with this thing!" William nodded in agreement, and transitioned over to a fairly ordinary 12 gauge pump action shotgun. He slid the chamber back, and stuffed one additional shell of Birdshot into the chamber, then locked it back in place.

"Where is it?" A demonic squawk rose up from behind him, without thinking, William whirled around and set the shotgun's holographic sight reticle onto the creature. All of a sudden, Crimson Starwatcher bounded up over the rooftop of the building behind it and pounced on the cockatrice, strangling it with her claws.

"Gotcha!" She exclaimed, throwing a sack over it's head and then perking up triumphantly.

"You could've let me take the shot." William grumbled.

"Thank you for not murdering my food." She responded with a tinge of irritation in her voice. There was an awkward pause, and then she added;

"For me."

William smiled, and the shotgun in his hands disappeared. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked around. "Folks! I apologize for the inconvenience. Please go back to whatever it was you were doing before the medusa-chicken thing attacked." There were some murmurs in the crowd, but they dispersed without any complaints. William turned to glare at Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Crimson. He put his hand on his forehead, and sighed.

"How does your livestock keep getting loose?" He finally asked Crimson.

" They're dangerous creatures." She responded. William shook his head, and pointed down at the cockatrice trying to get away from her. " Make a chicken coop from Granite and steel then! I'll even help you out if ya want." Applejack nodded.

"Yeah, you're a force to be reckoned with, but you can only be one place at a time. Same goes for the rest of us." William threw his hands up in defeat.

"What are ya gonna do about it? Besides, I've got more pressing concerns." They listened intentively, stepping closer to hear what he had to say next.

"I'm going to put in a front lawn and a garden to go with it. I've lived in this town for just over a year, and I still haven't put one in. I should have thought of it when I was renovating my house originally. But I didn't then. I intend to remedy that mistake. And no, I do not currently need your help. But I would be most grateful if you could point me in the direction of the nearest hardware and or garden supply store."

"Good for you, sounds boring." Rainbow Dash sped off into the clouds.

"I'd love to help William, but I've gotta finish pickin' the rest of my farms crop 'fore anything else. Sorry." Applejack trotted off towards Sweet Apple Acres.

"Sure, why not." Crimson muttered begrudgingly. "I'm gonna go collapse somewhere." She flew off, leaving only Joey and William. They looked at one another.

"So..."

"Of course I'll help." Joey finally responded. William wiped his brow, and looked around. "Let's get going."

A good hour of rummaging around the local hardware store later, and William had all that he needed to add a modestly sized front lawn to his house. He already had the power tools, all that was needed was approximately 900 square feet, and an alicorn to help ferry from the garden supply outlet to his front porch. He now had both.

"What now?" Joey asked as the last pallet of grass sod fell out of his magical grasp and onto the cobble road below.

"Now come the fun part! Jackhammer or C4? You pick."

"Err..."

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" A squeaky voice called from behind them. It was the mayor, with a pair of stallions wearing reflective vests and hardhats in tow.

"What now?"

"Why, you can't just go ripping up the street! It's not yours!" William folded his arms.

"Oh really, do you want me to go inside and get the blueprint of the property line?" The stallions on either side of her raised their eyebrows. "Yes, I would like that." William opened his front door and rummaged around in the kitchen until he found the original floor plans. And... Sure enough, they included the space in front of his house.

"Here. Take a look for yourself." The 3 ponies examined the sheets of paper with diligence.

"The road is public property. I don't care if you claim that you own it or not-" William facepalmed, and pointed back down at the prints. "It's there! Clear as day!" William was beginning to lose his patience.

"But-"

" And don't give me that, 'Eminent Domain' bullshit when I just saved your sorry flank the other day from that magical epidemic! Or how about that cockatrice that I helped wrangle an hour and a half ago! Or, did you already forget? I've done more for this town in the year and a half that I've lived here then you have since you were elected! So be a good neighbor and a nice little pony and let me finish my front lawn!" He shouted, pointing in the direction of Town Hall.

The mayor's mouth was wide open. She furrowed her brow, and opened her mouth to reply. But, one of the construction stallions intervened.

"Ma'am, he's right. You may not like it, but, he's in the legal green." William chuckled, and stuffed his hands back in his pockets. "Nice one." The stallion grinned and nodded at him.

"Fine. I suppose it's fair." The mayor snarled

"By the way... I forgive you for trying to murder me with a chair." He added. She and the stallions trotted away without another word. And William sighed. "The tension there was so thick you could-" William drew a pocket knife and ran his gloved hand along the blade's fuller.

"...Finished your sentence with an action." He slid the knife back into his pocket. Joey's ears sunk.

" Of course you did." William grinned. "I say both. Step back, I'll start riggin' the C4." His friend glanced around nervously.

"You're serious?" He nodded, " Yes, yes I am. I'll blast out the big chunks, then I'll break up the rest with a jackhammer."

"Ok, I've got some things of my own to sort out. I'll be back to check it out when you're done though." William smiled, and tipped his hat. His freind turned to fly away, and William got back to ripping up the street. A few moments later, the cold phrase of; "CLEAR!" echoed down the street, followed by the sharp crack of 5 pounds of plastic explosive tearing up cobblestone and gravel. William laughed like a maniac, and went to work breaking up the rest.

"So, how are you faring?" Joey asked his friend as he trotted up and examined the new lawn William had just put in.

"Oh, I'm almost- Damnit!" William cursed, and stomped the freshly laid sod out in front of his home, facepalming as he did.
"I forgot to run irrigation!"

"Which means?"

"I've got to tear this up and start over!" He sighed, and calmed himself and mumbled, "I need a break." Under his breath.

Unbeknownst to him, Frosty Fields was watching this all from beneath the shadow of an oak tree. She cheerfully trotted off and out into the forest, then disappeared through a knot in a tree.

"What is it, my dear Frosty?" Grogar's voice resounded though the cavern as the quaint unicorn mare appeared in front of the table. She stared up at the glowing bell with an arched eyebrow.

"He's got gardening issues." There was a pause. The air in the room seemed to go still.

" So let me see if I understand this correctly, he beats the emotional plague, but gets caught up with a garden?" He let out a thunderous laugh which made the stalactites on the cave roof shake.

"Well, that is no matter. We now know that we must strike him a little closer to home. Actually, scratch that, we must undermine him at a distance. Scratch that, we must focus on remaking my physical form!"

"All of this has given me a headache and a hornache, I'm gonna go and crash somewhere for a while, if you don't mind." Frosty off and out of sight, leaving Grogar's bell to scheme in the dark alone.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Is this really not a slice of life story?

[AmlpfanREADER]

I can't wait for more Already :)