> The Quiet Kid: Sicut Vult
>  by aegishailstorm
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Sunrise over Steel
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ok, keep calm, you're gonna be alright, calm yourself William. And the training will kick in." One moment, he had been sitting up in his bed. And the next, he was sitting in the drivers seat of a sports utility vehicle with a Pacific highway 1 sign on one side, and a set of flash lights that belonged to a California highway patrol officer on the other. "Well shit." He groaned and set his hands on the steering wheel. " Hey officer, how you doing?" He didn't even both to look over. All he did was slightly pat the wheel.  

1 minute passed. Then another. 5 minutes later and neither him nor the officer had moved whatsoever. Finally, he decided to turn and look out his window. Standing there was a rather familiar unicorn with white fur, and a greenish mane with a few red stripes. Gusty the Great. He had only seen her a few times, either as illustrations in ancient books. Or in dreams. Usually locked in combat with Grogar the Necromancer. A rather angry blue goat-like creature. Who, contrary to the name. Never resurrected any of the dead. The tyrant had used a magical bell to harass Equestria several thousand years prior to Nightmare Moon's defeat by the Element's of Harmony. Grogar himself had been defeated by this, "Gusty." For the moment, neither the man in the car nor the unicorn spoke any words. 

"Why am I here, and... Where did the officer go?" But rather than answering, the unicorn quite literally melted away into the air. In her place was a very unhappy Grogar. Before the magic goat could make any moves. The human within pulled an M45A1 sidearm and sent two .45 ACP flying into it's forehead, just below the horns. As soon as the second pull of the trigger was finished, the whole world flashed black.

"I could've done better."







"Gahh...Ow!" The man dressed in over the top MARPAT camouflage fatigues groaned in pain as he rubbed his head. Which had just made unwilling and violent contact with the northern wall of his bedroom, just behind his bed. " Damnit Luna, where are you when I need you?" He mumbled as he rolled over and scanned the room while simultaneously rubbing his eyes. Every bone in his body was telling him to fall back asleep. But he managed to keep his eyes open long enough for him to come to arrive at his senses. Meet William, several years ago, he was unwillingly brought to Equestria, and given the ability to summon any piece of military hardware he so desired by a group of... No longer living mages. 


Long story rather short, he ended up single handedly defeating a coalition of changelings, griffons, and dragons assembled by the leaders of their respective nations to try and take Equestria, and it just so had happened that Ponyville had been their first stop. William returned to earth soon after. Fast forward 4 years, and he was back in Equestria, fighting the Storm King. This time around however, he wasn't alone. by some freak accident one of his high school buddies had been dropped into the Everfree forest and transformed into an alicorn. Long story even shorter, he disposed of the Storm King and his army, got a house in Ponyville... Which he quite heavily renovated. Lived almost 2 years in it, made a few friends, and quite few more enemies. Most of which are not so tragically no longer living. That brings us to today...


William looked over at his bedroom window, which faced east, out towards the town. And cracked his neck. Just as he was about to slide out of bed when he heard knocking at his window. He identified the sound of the hooves softly tapping the glass immediately, and walked to the window with a dim smile on his face. 

" Good morning William!" Called a voice from outside, he threw the curtains aside and opened the window. Hovering just inches from the window sill was an alicorn with white fur and a dark blue mane. "Good morning Joey. Mind using the door?" He chuckled, and dove down as William shut the window and looked back at his bedroom. "Well, time to go to work." He opened his bedroom door  and turned left, heading down the stairs, where her turned left again, heading right to his front door.

He threw the door open. In place of his friend was a grey earth pony mare with a notebook in her hooves. " Sorry man! I couldn't stop her!" Joey's voice cried out from just beyond the brim of the door. William face palmed. "What do you want?"  He asked her gruffly.

"Oh, sorry, I go by Frosty Fields. I was asked by Canterlot Daily to do an interview with the Quiet Kid. I take it you're him?" William hesitated. He had made it quite apparent by now that he did not want his face, or his name in the newspaper. He wasn't here for fame, and, seeing that he was an introvert.  Did not want to intentionally go out of his way to look for it. His response to the mare was a simple. " No thank you. Please go away." And a slow closing of his front door.


"Please???" He peaked out to find that the mares pupils had widened, and her ears had drooped down. He raised an eyebrow, "What are you doing?" She groaned, and stood back up. " Trying to get you to let me in through being cute? It's worked more often than you think." He facepalmed. " Damnit, you have 2 minutes. Start asking."  He took a few steps backwards, as soon as she had stepped inside, he shut the door and motioned to the couch.  "Sit, or stand. I don't really care." 


"Alright, I'm not willing to disclose much. Other than the fact that I enjoy my life here in Ponyville. And I haven't really had much on my mind since I defeated Tirek and Cozy Glow. I still absolutely despise her name by the way. Chrysalis is still adjusting to living in Ponyville. I'm a relatively simple man. I like guns, I like the lonesome woods. And I like peace and Quiet." He checked his watch, " Oh would ya look at that. The 2 minute's is up." He practically pushed her out of his house and shut the door as fast as he could with out it being considered slamming.


"What did I tell you?" Joey asked with sarcasm as he trotted into view. William wasn't amused by his sarcastic remark. But let it slide. " So, how's you're morning been?" The alicorn asked William. " Good."

"Do you mind if I come inside? I need to talk to you about Chrysalis." He frowned, and stepped aside. "What about her?" William asked as he sat back down.  "How do I explain this? Remember when Starwatcher moved in?" William nodded. 

"So... She's having problems with the locals? Go figure. I mean, she doesn't even look reformed at first glance. But at least she's better than before, mostly." William chuckled, "Where's she staying?" Joey blinked back, " Twilight let her, 'borrow,' a room in her castle. At least until she trust's her enough to give her a house of her own. Oh, also, while Twilight might not trust Chrysalis, her friends are getting along great." William shrugged, " You ever heard Discord's backstory? One moment he's trying to corrupt all of Equestria, next moment they're eating at the same damn table and talking about old times. Only difference here is that she hasn't gone all soft yet. Oh, and she's still got those hole's in her hooves." Joey swallowed hard, "They give me the creeps." William jumped up and headed for his kitchen. 

"Tell you what, I'll grab myself a snack from the pantry and we can head on over." He twisted the knob on his pantry door and pulled out a sack of freeze dried apples and a glass of water. He reminded himself to  make a stop at Sweet Apple Acre's later on in the day. " Let's go, I can eat on the way." He donned his boot's and set off down the cobble road towards Twilight's castle on the far side of town with Joey in tow. He made sure to steer clear of Sugercube corner. Regardless of how many, " Free cupcake's." She offered him, he couldn't help but cover his ear's or tune his amplified hearing protection down whenever she started talking. Now, while he himself was no stranger to talking fast. But she took it to a level that most sentient being's would consider 'extremely annoying'. As he passed through the center of town he suddenly found is path blocked by a wooden cart full of carrot's. 


"Hey, ma'am?  Please move your cart before I force it out of my way."  A head of an earth pony poked out over the top. " To answer your question, I can't. The front wheel's broken. I hit a patch of bumpy road on the way into town, and it just got worse from there."  William knelt down. " Damn right it is." The mare in front of him rubbed her eye's. " You're William, right?" He nodded. " Yes, and you're Carrot Top. The local carrot farmer. I'm gonna be on my way now. "


"Wait-" She stopped him. He looked back at her, and noticed that she was clutching a single Equestrian bit in her hoof. "It's yours if you fix it." William took another look at the front wheel.  " You've got a broken few spokes. Hold on." He reached into his plate carrier and pulled out a roll of ducktape. 30 seconds later, the wheel was as fixed  he could manage.  She inspected his work, then tossed him the coin. " Thanks for the help. Hey, did you know that Twilight's going to be crowned the ruler of Equestria in a few day's?" The information hit him like an Abrams tank. He looked off into the distance. " Yeah, yeah I did. You're welcome." He tipped his hat and continued on his way.






William turned off down a side road near the School of Friendship and knocked on the front door of Twilight's castle.  "Hello? Anyone home? It's me, William-" The double door's swung open before he could finish. Revealing none other than Twilight Sparkle. Well... That's what fool would have though, any being with a set of working eye's would have noticed that her eyes were glowing green. "Hi Chrysalis."  She chuckled. " Hello William. I see you're to smart for this old changeling's tricks." 

"It's not that I'm smart. I mean, I am... It's that our eyes were glowing, kind of a dead giveaway do ya think?" She groaned, " Why yes, I suppose it is." He stepped inside. " What do you mean by suppose?" He thought to himself. William shook his head. But regardless, he would excuse it.


"So... What seems to be the issue? Let me guess, you keep terrifying others. Or perhaps you're hungry?"  She snuffed, and looked back at him as the two walked down the hallway towards the double stair's leading up to the rest of the crystalline structure. "A combination of both. I  can't stand living with them! Why must everything be brightly colored!?" She stomped her hoof. " Aye, I understand. If it wasn't already apparent, I despise it as well. Keep in mind, it is still their property. As long as they keep it away from me, I don't care how nonsensical it gets. "

"You told me about it the last time we talked. But how the hay am I supposed to deal with it, how do you keep yourself from ripping them to shreds?"  William laughed. " I use something called the Warrior Poet mentality. As long as what they are doing doesn't bother you directly, or is hurting any other being that matters to you. It's fine, just give them a wide berth. As for the anger... Have you tried cutting firewood? If not that, then punching trees. "  She rubbed her chin as the two of them walked into the map room and came face to face with Twilight Sparkle. William cracked a smirk. " Excited about your crowning?" She stared at him. "What? Oh, yes... That, yes I am!" Her gaze shifted to Chrysalis. Whilst they weren't trying to kill each other anymore. Neither was glad to see the other. William broke the tension.

"Twilight, you're supposed to be the Princess of Friendship, correct? Well... please fix- Try to fix Chrissy's problems. I've some stuff to do. See you later."  He tipped his hat to the both of them and left. 

Meanwhile...

Frosty Field's left Williams house and boarded the Ponyville Express. From there she took a train northwards towards Canterlot. After delivering her rather inconclusive report the the Canterlot paper she headed to the royal castle. She kept going until she was at the precipice of the royal vault. Contained within were some of the most powerful and dangerous artifacts in all of Equestria. Among them was Grogar the Necromancer's damaged bell. She looked at the lock and grinned. "Someday. Someday." A malicious laugh filled the hallway as a single bolt of lightning crashed through the mid day sky.
> Figure in The Fog
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whilst Canterlot experienced a burst of freak weather, William headed out of town. Towards the Everfree forest. His favorite place for getting away from everything. Setting aside the fact that it was essentially just an Equestrian version of Vietnam, without the mosquitos. He searched for about 30 seconds before he had found the pathway through the woods which he had taken hundreds of times before. It had started out just like any other part of the forest, but had gradually been worn down by William's constant travels. He stopped to scratch the hair under his helmet before checking his watch. It wasn't even noon, so he decided to go in further. " Should I pay my 'ole shooting range a visit of go poking around in caves?" He settled on the shooting range for the time being. 





"Hi there Chrysalis!" Joey waved the the changeling as he passed Twilight's castle. " Where's William? I promised him I'd go out rockhounding. She scowled at him from the crystalline steps, more out of annoyance than malice. " Don't bother asking me. I just moved in a few days ago, remember?" Joey nodded. " Eh, he's probably out somewhere in the Everfree forest." She raised a chitin hoof. " Why does he like that place again?" Joey shook his head, " Beats me. Wanna go get some ice cream?" Her scowl remained. But she bit her lip. "No thanks, I'm good." The alicorn shrugged in acceptance and flew off.


"Why did you put your personal range way out here?"

"Because it's away from everything else."

"Like plant's that aren't covered in thorns?" William had been conversing with himself when he suddenly stopped to take a look around. As there was no one else to speak with out here, he talked with himself. Going over courses of action and how the rest of his day might go. The faint smell of semi acidic pine sap floated past his nose. " Timberwolves, eh, could be worse." He kicked a rock and continued, running his gloved hands along the frame of the  .300 blackout carbine slung around his chest as he did. The air all around him was moist, and clouds swirled overhead. Which, combined with heavy tree cover had blocked out the majority of sunlight. It wasn't abnormal for the Everfree. He rather liked it. It reminded him of earth.

As he walked along, he began to leisurely hum, "Home On the Range. "  William dug his boot's into the dirt and rooting foliage underfoot as he went along the path. He was looking for something, though he wasn't exactly sure what. Mainly he just needed something to pass the time. And... He supposed, his mindless trek though the dense woodland would fill that role for the time being. And, after thinking for a few moments he remembered that there were indeed plants with thorns outside of the Everfree. Just not quite to the same extent. 

After about five minutes he had made it to his shooting range, but rather then stopping, he continued onwards. He had decided that he would once more visit the castle of the 2 sisters. It was a rather sudden decision. But he figured he could just fire on trees as he went along anyway. He slung his rifle over his shoulder and armed himself with a Sig MCX PCC, or "Pistol Caliber Carbine." Which he held firmly in his gloved hands. Though, for some reason. He did not end up firing on any trees. Not because he was lazy. But because he simply didn't have any reason. He could find his way back with relative ease. He had been this way many times before, and, to William's delight. The veil of fog had still not lifted. And he was hopping that it would last though the day.

"Ah yes, back again. " He said with a chuckle as he crossed the bridge leading to the castle and gazed up at the ancient portcullis. He still had a hard time comprehending that Celestia and Luna had actually been around to help design it. Even though he knew them better than most of Equestria did. Though, technically. They wouldn't even be it's rulers for much longer. That honor was to be bestowed upon Twilight Sparkle. Whilst Celestia may have believed her worthy, the Quiet Kid had his doubts. His very, very large doubts. 

But nevertheless. It was coming, and he would be there to watch it unfold. Regardless of whether or not he had something better to be doing. Which, being him. He would probably return to Ponyville to find everyone in hiding from yet another monster. And, being that he had done a pretty good job at scaring most of it's usual 'visitors' off. There was a chance it might end up being an imaginary one. Which had happened on more than one occasion. Go figure. As much as William enjoyed the company of Ponyville's inhabitants-with the exception of a few. And they knew who they were.

He stopped to put his hand on a stone pillar. From there he surveyed the courtyard. " Ah, this place never fails to bring a smile to my face. Which is good, because most stuff doesn't!" William found himself laughing at himself for a few moments. Then stopped, and began to make his way up to the throne room. The whole time, he was reminiscing about the 'old day's'. They weren't really 'good' old days. Except for a few. It was a different kind of stress. Back on earth he remembered the responsibilities he'd had; Collage classes, hiking, friends, shopping, working for campus security and occasionally the cafeteria, secretly training for his eventual trip back to Equestria. Managing his schedule. The list went on. Here, it was a different kind of stress. The kind that came with living in what was essentially a fantastical warzone. Even here, he still had responsibilities. In a way, he had even more responsibility than earth. Fortunately, there was great power which came along with it. He reminded himself of that when he finally reached the ramparts of the dilapidated castle. Just in time to watch the midday sun cut through the fog. He took a look around, then threw a clay disc up into the air, and chipped the edge of it with a quick burst from his PCC before watching it sail out of view.


"God knows where that went."  He threw another one, then another, and another. " The more his eyes and arms got into the motion of tracking the discs across the sky and through the fog, the better his aim got. Five minutes later, he was landing bullseye's every other one. A few moments after he had thrown the last disc. He made the PCC disappear, and reclined. He though a bit about Earth. It had been a few months since he had last visited. He wondered what the world was like. What things had changed, and what had stayed the same.  With nothing else on his mind for the moment. He began hiking back into town.
> In the Spirit of Flanders Field
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Quiet Kid  began his walk back to Ponyville under the afternoon sun. After his first visit to the rotting Castle of the Two Sister's nearly a year and a half ago, he had discovered that there was a far more convenient pathway which led to it.  It was poorly maintained. But it was still less dangerous and tiresome than the Everfree forest. Even if he occasionally had to contend with other travelers. Which wasn't a problem given who he was. Most of the time, he could walk the roads with impunity. He made his way parallel to the Everfree forest, humming the chorus of, " The Ballad of Paladin" From the old TV show 'Have Gun Will Travel' As he went along.

Singing wasn't necessarily a hobby of his. With the exception of a few times here and there. Some of which he regretted more than others. He wasn't even that good at is, and honestly couldn't care less. The mistakes had been made, even if at the time he hadn't thought of them as mistakes. Besides, most of them weren't, 'mistakes' in the traditional sense. Just little pieces of history which bothered him a slight bit. William had more important things to think about for the time being. 

"Actually. For the first time since my arrival, I don't have anything to worry about. There are no villains, no malignant magical forces, no bumbling bureaucrats, not even that strange social anxiety of mine which pops up from time to time. Damn. Oh well... I'm pretty sure I'll find something to worry about. It just run's in the family. " 



He paused for a moment to think. But began walking again after a few cycles of the thin digital hand of his watch had gone by. 


William could hear birds chirping off in the distance. The sun's glow was slowly beginning to paint the landscape with an orange tint. The dirt he was kicking up smelled faintly of ozone and rotting tree leaves. The fact that he still had family back on earth had almost slipped his mind. His parents were good, they both worked good jobs and were nice people, and at the rate time was going by, his annoying brother was probably just beginning to stumble his way through the lower levels of high school by now. That was pretty much all. 



His excuse for suddenly disappearing from collage was that he had, " Taken up a career in northern Alaska." And left it at that. That also reminded him that he was just about overdue for a visit back to his home planet. But that idea would have to go in his proverbial, "Mental filling cabinet." He was beginning to see glimpses of the distant Castle of Friendship. The star at the top glimmered in the sunlight. Though no matter how many times he looked at it, there was just something that magical crystal tower that unnerved him. He couldn't shake it.  And very name of it made him feel odd. He was never able to figure out why. 

"I've probably just read too many Orwellian novels. I mean, it's not like Celestia 'll turn into Big Brother."  


William's gaze shifted to the even more distant Mount Canterhorn and the towers which made up the royal castle. But found himself laughing. " Hah! Yeah, I was right. That's a load of shite, that's something Pinkie would do." He clutched his armor clad stomach in pain as a result of the laughter. 


He was perfectly aware of the fact that he was laughing alone, in a place where there was no one to hear him laugh for almost a mile in all directions. 

"Have gun will travel reads the card of a man... A night without armor in a savage land..."





"Who are you singing to?" William nearly jumped out of his OCP pattern camouflage at the voice of his next door neighbor, Crimson Starwatcher. A wolf-pegasus hybrid with a little to much curiosity and snoopiness in William's opinion. She descended from the sky above with a semi-amused look on her face.

" I wasn't aware that I was singing out loud. I thought I was humming. Things blend together when you're alone. And why should you care? No, I'm serious. That wasn't supposed to be antagonistic, I was asking a actual question." She landed on all fours.

"Oh, whatever. Where are you going?" William shrugged, and fiddled with the sling of his rifle. " Follow me, we'll talk on the way into town." She raised an eyebrow. " Quick question, where have you been all day?" 

"There's a castle in the Everfree forest, just southwest of Ponyville. You should ask one of Twilight's friends about it some time. They've got quite a few stories to tell. And so do I, though, I'm usually too busy or just to lazy to tell them to others." William waved her along and began to walk northward with the western sun shining in his eyes. Crimson turned to him. 

"Would you mind telling them to me?" She asked. William couldn't help but chuckle. " Well, you've lived some of it. Hey, remember that time I blew up that random field north of Ponyville?" 

"Gee let me think. Hey, you haven't been back there yet, have you? Fluttershy and a few earthponies did a pretty good job repairing the damage you caused." William sighed and tipped his hat down to keep the sun out of his eyes. He took his sunglasses off and stuffed them into one of the pockets of his vest. He let them settle right next to one of the 2 spare magazines of 5.56 caliber M855A1 armor piercing ammunition which he almost always carried around with him when he left the house. 

"That thing sure seems useful." William looked down at his vest for a few moments more than he was planning to because of the comment. "Damn right it is. In the words of one of my personal heroes; 'the food chain was altered forever the moment the first human picked up a rock and a stick." She didn't respond. The wolf pony just stared on ahead. With only her ears angled towards him. 

"You know, Nightmare Night's coming up soon. You oughta watch yourself around this forest." William laughed. " There isn't a damn thing in these woods that I haven't fought and beaten several times over!" The mare laughed. 

" Are you sure about that?" She asked smugly. William raised one of his eyebrows and laughed. "Damn right I am-!!!" He instinctively doubled back as a bright blue flash suddenly filled his forward field of view. He recognized it almost instantly. 

"Gahh!!! Damnit Joey!"

The alicorn had teleported in right in front of him. This was an action which William would normally have been fine with. Except for the fact that he had appeared a mere 8 inches from his face. Far to close for comfort.  The stallion dropped to the ground and looked around at Crimson and William. "What? Was my teleport to-" They both nodded. The alicorn sighed and hung his head. 

"What do I know? One day I save your life from your own bomb, the next you're off like nothing happened." William dropped his brow and smiled.  "One, it wasn't technically  nuclear. Two, I thanked you for saving me. Many times, you just turned into a road hazard all of a sudden." Crimson looked from human to alicorn and then back again. She wanted to get back into the conversation. She just didn't know how now that they had started arguing amongst themselves. 

"So... What was that about sticks and stones?" They both turned to the wolf pony. " Nevermind." William responded dryly. " You two can tag along if you want. I don't have any reason to stop you." The 3 began walking again. But as they got closer to town, William's pace quickened to a slight jog. Crimson and Joey did the same. The pair kept up with William until they had reached Ponyville's northern limits. 

"Hey! Where are you going!?" Joey called, bounding forward ahead of William just as the human reached the top of a short hill. He paused when he saw where they were. 


"It sure look's nice, doesn't it?" William gestured to the vast meadow below. Just a little while ago it had been a smoking crater. And now, it was nice field of red poppy flowers. 

"It looks pretty amazing. Fluttershy and the earth ponies did a good job fixing your mess." William looked over at his friend and rolled his eyes. " Sure, remind me again, how do you like your body parts arranged? Yeah. That's what I thought. It would have all gone away had I not stopped Tirek and Cozy Glow, how they were  vaporized by the blast I have no idea." He sat down cross legged and looked off into the distance, towards Canterlot."

"Tell me Joey, are you familiar with the TV show,' Yellowstone'?"  The alicorn sat down a few feet off to the side.  "I recognize the name, but that's all." Crimson sat down next to the pair. "What is it now?" She questioned. 

"Oh, I was just about to tell Joey here a story.  Do you wanna stay and hear it?" She looked around, both her's and Joey's ears swiveled to a small rock outcropping nearby. Crimson began to growl. "We're being watched." She whispered to Willam.

"Nobody move." He mouthed, slowly reaching for his rifle. In a flash, he turned his gun on the outcropping. 


"What?" A voice replied from within the outcropping. It was Chrysalis. " I was just listening in on your conversation.  Where's the harm in that?" The rock flared with a green flame for a moment. Leaving only Chrysalis behind.  Joey stared at the changeling in amazement. " You can turn into a rock?" She nodded. " Yes, and that's not the only thing." There was another flash of light. And when it faded, there was a second alicorn with white fur and a blue mane standing in front of the three. Chrysalis laughed and transformed back. 

"I... Don't really know what to think of that." He responded as his ears dropped slightly. William clapped his hands together. " Alright, are the interruptions over, good." They all scooted closer to him. 

"Yellowstone, is a TV show- Story." He corrected himself. Chrysalis and Crimson Starwatcher couldn't have known what a TV, or the internet was. " About a human cattle rancher and his family that lived in the northern part of my home country. A wild region called 'Montana'. The rancher's name... Was John Dutton. Look at Applejack and Sweet Apple acres as an example. They raised cows for a living. But that's about where the similarities ended. You see, there were quite a few people that wanted what his family had. That being his ranch. Now, you see. This John Dutton was a very stubborn man, that farm of his had been in his family for over a long, long time. And he wasn't about to give it up. And so, he, his family, his friends, and those in his employ fought tooth and nail to defend their way of life. Some of their methods were more questionable than others. But, they were fighting for something worth fighting for, not just their ranch, or their money, or even their family and friends. They were fighting to keep their way of life. And, in the end, they won.  Sorta. Nothing's ever simple where I'm from." 

Chrysalis glanced at him with skepticism. "So what, you're something like this John Dutton character?" William nodded as he reached into a pocket and pulled a little bag of rock salt from it. He unzipped it and began snacking away on a piece. 

"Not quite, but close enough. This world is, as Rainbow Dash would put it. This place is awesome. It oughta stay that. That should be all the explanation you 3 need." He placed the bag back into his pocket and stood up. " Who want's to eat out? I'm feeling generous this afternoon."

"Good idea, usual place?" Joey asked him. William answered with a nod. " Are y'all good with burgers?" Crimson and Chrysalis nodded in agreement. "Sure, I am alright with that. It sounds a little... Rustic, but, I am alright with that." Joey lit his horn, before anyone could raise any concerns, the 4 of them teleported away. 

They did not, in fact, end up at William's dinner of choice, they ended up in mid air, just above the straw roof of one of Ponyville's many residential homes. The alicorn, wolf pony, and changeling all caught themselves with their wings by instinct. That left the one human, William. By the time Joey realized his mistake, William had gone crashing through the roof of the home below. The alicorn gave the other two a nervous shrug as William cursed at the top of his lungs below. 


All of a sudden, his warranted fit of rage ended. And was instead supplanted with, "Oh, hello there Lyra. Sorry about the roof, wanna join us for dinner? My friends are up there somewhere. No, no, I don't know how it happened, but I've got a few theories!!!" The alicorn winced. " Opps?" He still hadn't fully gotten the hang of teleportation.
> Prospect
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The great Canterhorn river is Equestria's largest tributary. Screeching from Canterlot's great waterfalls down to the far southeastern regions of the continent. It was the life source of much of the Equestrian heartlands agriculture and infrastructure. In addition to this, various wild creatures nested and flourished  in and around the massive river. It's blue murky waters were adored by all. William was among them. Whilst he had known of the river since his first arrival in Equestria. He had only recently stumbled upon the banks closest to Ponyville when he had decided to trek eastward from Ponyville rather than south. What he had found was, in his opinion. Well worth the somewhat long trek through the countryside.  

Whenever William wanted to slip away from life, he'd go someplace that no creature could find him. In this case, it was the bank of this river. 

"I'm gonna build a castle-agh!" William grunted as he jammed his shovel into the soft riverside gravel, being sure to avoid his boot. He had stubbed his toe far to many times. It was perhaps the one advantage that hooves had over human feet or even paws. That wasn't the only advantage they had. Hooves were tougher, meaning that you didn't usually need shoes. And pony leg muscles were structured in such a way so that standing fatigued them far less than humans. They could even sleep standing up. An absolutely absurd feat in William's opinion. But nonetheless, amazing. Of course, human feet did have some advantages over hooves, they were more nimble, and made for better propulsion in the water. Plus, you could even occasionally manipulate things with them. 

"Gonna build it high..." He took another swing. 

"Gonna build it brick by brick, and stone by stone." And another.

" Till it reaches up to the sky." And another.

"When the sun goes down and the wind get's cold, we'll be warm inside." And another.

"The storm with keep 'a brewin', but we'll have a place to hide."  William wiped a bead of sweat off his brow and exhaled. His breath slowly dissipated into condensation. He looked down and scooped up some of the gravel. He sharply examined it. Tossing it around with his hands.  "Yeah, I think this'll do." He climbed out of the hole, reached into a pack, and pulled a prospecting pan from it. He ran his gloved fingers across the metallic ridges, then scooped the handful of the gravel up and dropped it onto the pan. He clamored out of the hole, cracked his back,  and shimmied over to the riverside, there he knelt down by the bank and dipped it in. He raised it out and swished it back and forth.  


"It's just like Coloma. Except... I think I like this better."  He looked in the pan and chuckled, not a damn thing. Ah, what the hell am I even looking for?"  He was panning. For something. Gold, gemstones, whatever was in this river. Sure, he had enough bits stored away at home to keep his way of life going for quite a while. Plus, Celestia was still paying him a modest amount of bits for his actions in protecting Equestria. Gold was used as one of, if not the primary currency of Equestria. Gold itself was plentiful here. And near limitless pockets of gemstones lay buried just under the surface, easily within the grasp of any old idiot with a shovel and a lust for money. Something in oddly low demand when compared to Earth. Mainly because most ponies were satisfied as was. 

"Alright, let's this try again."  He dumped the contents of the pan out into the stream and went back to the hole. He looked up to see the clouds thickening and slowly turning greyer and greyer. " I'm not normally one for the fall weather. But this is pretty darn good.  He went back to the riverside and began to repeat the process. It was at this moment that he began to smell ozone. As almost as if by instinct. He dove out of the creek bed and tore his steel plate carrier off. He made both that and his rifle disappear. William rolled into the hole he had dug and poked his head out. 


"Hello, lightning?" Out of the corner of his eye a he spotted a bright flash of light in the direction of Canterlot. 

"One, two, three, four, five, six..." He heard the distant rumble of thunder, then climbed back out of the hole. " Guess that's the end of my prospecting for today." He said to himself with a chuckle, redonning his vest and slinging a new rifle over his back. 

"Good afternoon William. Nice weather we're having, right?" The armored human heard the familiar voice of Twilight Sparkle behind him.  He turned to greet her. 


"Would ya'll mind not trying to sneak up on me for a change?"  The alicorn emerged from the bushes.  "What are you digging for?" He laughed, " I'm not entirely sure. Something interesting, I suppose. As you've probably guessed by the look of things, I was am still am a geologist. It's the only time I actually enjoy looking for things. I mean, have you ever tried looking for a TV remote- You no what? Never mind, have you ever tried to hunt down a book you've lost?" The alicorn though to herself, " Yes, actually. Even with an organization spell-"


"I'm not sorry, were you going to say 'organization spell'? Why have I not heard of this before?" He folded his arms as rain began to drizzle on both him and Twilight. She ignited her horn, and an umbrella of magical energy appeared above her. William sighed. 

"To answer you question. It's probably because you never asked about it." She responded.

"What do you- I can't ask about something that I'm not even aware exists!" William protested, folding his arms. "And I'm not about to go asking a bunch of extra questions either, that's just a waste of my day." 

"Oh really, what obligations do you have?" She smirked cheerfully. William thought to himself, then raised a finger. " I'm busy making sure that something doesn't come over next hill and eat you all. I'm the... Well, I'd like to think I'm the voice of reason in this place." He looked back out at the river, then back at Twilight.



"So, what'd you come out here for in the first place? I highly doubt that a pony like you would like walks in the rain." She chuckled. "Well William, I came out here because I'd like to ask you to be my honor guard for my coronation." William blinked, and stared at for before looking down at the  river bank. 

"Well? What is it?"  He checked his watch and looked back up.  

" Twilight, I've damn well done more for this nation in the past year and a half than the Equestrian Royal Guard has done for it in a decade. You did well asking me. I'll go along. You can save the specifics for later, you're lucky I'm in a good mood." A sharp crack of lightning made both of them jump. 

When it was over, they saw that a tree on the far bank of the river had been torn to splinters. Far above them, a hole opened up in the clouds, and Rainbow Dash poked her head out. "Sorry about that one Twi!" They both laughed. 

"You're playing with god damn fire up there! Keep up the good work with the cloudscape, but try not to kill us!" William responded callously.
> Intent
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whilst the ponies of Equestria were safely asleep in their beds, and William groggily walked the streets of Ponyville with enough ordinance to overthrow a small government. And Twilight Sparkle worried about her upcoming rise to power. Many smaller things occurred throughout the land of Equestria. After all, just because something looks dead doesn't mean it is.  In the various woodlands across the continent, all manner of creatures roamed with impunity. Crickets chirped in the fields, and timberwolves stalked the Everfree.


One thing in particular. This had to do with a certain ancient bell once in the possession of Grogar the Necromancer. As well a peculiar Journalist mare who worked for Canterlot Daily by the name of Frosty Fields. Who was currently in the process of sneaking her way into the Royal Castle. The guards, whilst well armed and armored by Equestrian standards. They weren't exactly the brightest. And by random chance, the lunar guard, the only force which might have discovered her, was off on some other assignment. One half was on an expeditionary trip to the Crystal Empire to investigate the secrets of Mount Everhoof. William had told them that Grogar's bell had been found there, and logically, there must be more to it. The other half was on leave in Shady Hollows, a batpony village on the eastern side of the Canterhorn mountain range.  So, the castle was left nigh unguarded. 

Frosty snuck in through a library window, made a left down the isle, through a pair of doors, and into a hallway. From there, it was only a short trot to the vault doors. As she approached it, she began to hear whispers. Now, the first time Grogar had appeared, it was simply Discord fooling around. Although the bell had been completely real. It had been shattered in the battle between Tirek, Cozy Glow, Chrysalis, William and the, 'Mane six'. But alas, not dystroyed. Gusty the Great had tried to banish Grogar eons ago. And succeeded to some extend. Now, with his bell damaged, the real Grogar was stirring. 


"Umm... Hello?" Frosty whispered, tapping her hoof on the vault door with the slightest hint of worry. At first, nothing happened. Then, a cold gust of wind blew in through a window. And the door shimmered with a faint turquoise glow, followed by a stronger yellow one. The vault's built in magical defenses fighting back against the foreign magic. Even so, some the bell's energy managed to seep out.

"Yes? Who is this?" A raspy voice replied.

"It's me, Frosty Fields, remember? You asked for me?" There was silence.

"Hmm... Ah yes, your dreamscape is dull by the way." Frosty blinked. " What?"



About a week ago...

Frosty Fields was snug in bed in her studio apartment in upper Canterlot. Reminiscing about the events of the day. She had stopped by Ponyville earlier in the day to pick up a new dress from The Carousel Boutique , but had found that it was closed. As she was walking back to the train station, she head a distant rumble. And when she looked northward, back towards Canterlot, she saw a slim mushroom cloud rising from the ground. A few seconds later, and it dissolved into the air.  


Part of her wanted to gallop in the opposite direction. But the rest was curious. Earlier, she had seen a significant portion of the towns population heading in that direction, so, she decided to go and see what was happening. When she finally came to a stop, she was at the brim of a crowd of ponies. In the distance, she could make out a bipedal figure, clad in black armor. He seemed to be congratulating a few of the other ponies around him. Including another alicorn which she had never seen before.


Frosty Fields tried to get closer, but was unable to get any closer before the bipedal being and the alicorn disappeared off into the distance and out of sight. Her gaze shifted to the smoking crater and the statue of a pegasus filly and a minotaur, and to... was that...the former queen of the changelings? She watched as the herd of ponies dispersed. And she went along with them. Now, back in her bed, her mind was swarming with questions. Still, it wasn't long before she was out.

Now, normally, a pony's dream would be pretty peaceful. It would not involve a horrific flashback of the day. But, Luna must have been out on break, because as soon as she had fallen asleep, Frosty Fields began falling. Or at least, it felt like she was falling. Usually, one would  wake up from the shock of it all, but she just kept falling, until, all at once, everything froze. The whole dreamscape went white. Then, slowly, a scene began to form out in front of her it was the bipedal creature from earlier. Only, he had something in his... Talons, paw-thing? there was an earsplitting pain and a gush of wind. She could hear something metallic splintering. She looked down at her hooves, and saw a shattered green bell. 

" Why hello there." A voice rasped.


Frosty turned her head, and came face to face with an old bluish goat. She stumbled back out of surprise and landed on her haunches. 

"Who- What?" She stuttered. The goat furrowed his brows. 

"I see you have found my bell."  The unicorn blinked in confusion, then looked back down at her hooves, there lay the shattered green cow bell from before, she watched as the princesses of Equestria walked up to it, then carried it away. 

"Alas pony, this is not happening in real time. That is my magical bell, which has been shattered and taken from me. I would like you to retrieve it for me. "


This confused Frosty greatly. She hadn't the slightest as to what was going on. And now, she was being asked by a magic goat to retrieve a magic bell with absolutely no context as to why. Frosty Fields had seen a few glimpses of the conflict, and wanted to know just a little bit more helping a complete stranger from a dream find a  magic bell. 

"What do you want?" She asked the goat. He rubbed his chin with a cloven hoof, "Hmm... I'd like to be alive again. Is that really too much to ask?" 

Frosty smirked nervously, " Are you telling me... You're dead right now?" The old goat laughed. " No little one. Just... Er... Sleeping! It's complicated. I will explain it all, I just need you to fetch my bell for me." All of a sudden, a blue light filled her dream, she turned to find Princess Luna, with a horrified expression on her face. 

"Little pony, do not listen to him, you have no idea how dangerous he is." Luna cried out, she lit her horn and shifted into a defensive stance. 


" Finally, someone recognizes me! " Grogar laughed. "Now, be off witch, leave me be!" He waved his hoof, and Luna's part of the vison imploded on itself. As soon as the alicorn was gone, he clapped his hooves. "Bravo for me! Now, little one, how about that bell? Wait, no actually... First, I need you to find the being that shattered my bell. I belived it could not be destroyed, I was wrong. I have a feeling that he has the possibility to be a great thorn in my side!" Frosty looked a bit concerned, but waved it off.

"Also, what's your name?" 

"Oh, It's a rather long title, I suppose you could just call me Grogar."

Present day


"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting visitors." She reasoned. "Also, how do I get this vault door open?" 


"You can't. Only one of the royal sisters can open it." This, she didn't have a fix for. Frosty assumed that with enough magic, she might be able to override the locking mechanism. But she wasn't an arch mage, and she wasn't about to go knock on Celestia's bedroom door and ask for it either. Thankfully, she wouldn't have to do any of that. Because a moment later there was a shattered bell lying at her hooves. 

"I don't know whether to thank myself or thank you. Both I suppose" Grogar's voice said with a laugh. Frosty scooped up the shards and ran.
> Motives
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William stumbled out of bed wide awake.  After a quick trip to the bathroom, he headed down the stairs, From there he ate breakfast, read the latest entry in the Ponyville newspaper, and geared up for another day. He checked his watch, and stepped out into the cool fall air. 

"B-GAH!" William screamed as he caught himself just before he rolled off his bed. He had been having one of those weird dreams where you think you're wide awake and getting ready for the day ahead. And just when you're about to 'officially' start whatever you were going to be doing, you wake up. 

William was not amused by this. He jolted, and flopped back onto the bed. He didn't feel like picking himself up just yet, so he just edged himself back towards the eastern side of the bed. He groaned as he saw the moonlight still shining through the window frame. 

"Damn, I wish I could just call Twilight or the princesses and have them raise the sun. " He scratched his chin, thinking too himself. " Actually, that's a pretty good idea. I might work on that later. " He repeated the process of getting ready, set out for  the day. 

"The streets are looking pretty empty today. I'd say they're probably all over in Canterlot- Oh shit, I forgot!" He took off at a slow jog towards Twilight's castle. Hopping that she hadn't already left. 


"Another note to myself, I've got to build me a bike. Running everywhere is getting really old."


He stopped at the front steps of the massive crystalline building, panting for breath. He took a knee, then got back up and knocked on the front door. William heard scrambling coming from within. It was Spike that came to the front door.

"Oh, hi William! Are you here to help Twilight to prepare for her coronation?"  William rubbed his eyes. Yeah, I just had a hell of a dream. Can I come in?"

Spike stepped aside and opened the door for him. The dragon led him down the lengths of winding crystal corridors, to the  Library. Where Twilight was in the process of losing her minds over what appeared to be a pile of books. She noticed him almost as soon as he had entered the room. He removed his helmet and smiled. 

"What are ya worryin' about?"  She shook her head and drooped her ears. 


"Being the ruler of all of Equestria would mean that I would have to move out of Ponyville. And leave all of my friends behind."  

William groaned and rolled his eyes. Ponies could get worked up over the smallest things. " Twilight, take a damn step back, and rethink your options, after all, once you're the leader you could just move Equestria's center of government here." 

He immediately realized that that was a bad idea. For the same reasons that he wouldn't move to Washington D.C on earth. Or Canterlot here. 

"Wait! Do not do that. That is a VERY bad idea!" William stammered, quickly putting a stop to that idea. 

"So how do I get things to stay the same? You're an expert on these things, right?"  He chuckled, and pulled up a seat. 


"Twilight, I don't think you're ready to lead this kingdom. Hell,  I don't think I would be either. But, with regards to this little issue. Don't worry about it. After all, you can teleport. Focus on the important stuff right now. Like your coronation."  The alicorn let out a sigh.

"I suppose you're right."

William chuckled. "Damn right I am. Now, what else do you have to do to get yourself ready for that coronation?"

"Check up on my friends?" William crossed his eyes and looked down at his watch. Then looked back up at Twilight and nodded. 

"Well, go do that then. I'll be waiting for you and your entourage. " He said the last word with resentment. William didn't particularly like Canterlot.

"Thank you so much for the help William. It really means a lot to me." 

William stopped to tip his hat, then walked back out the front door of the castle. He headed back to his street at a brisk pace. As he reached his doorstep, he saw a familiar shadow overhead.

"William! You didn't even stop by to say good morning!" A voice shouted. It was Joey, flying circles around William's house. 

With a roll off his eyes, William beckoned for the alicorn to come down and meet him. " You should know how it is, Twilight was- well... I wouldn't really call it whining. But she was definitely upset about the prospect of having to move away from Ponyville and all her friends." 

" And you did- what about it?" William laughed and kicked up some of the gravel that had been spread out along the roadside. 

"Taught her a lesson-" The alicorn's eyes widened and he winced. " What version of 'teach a lesson' is this?" Because I heard something  that sounded an awful lot like gunfire earlier." William made an awkward smile with his face.

"I'd never- Ok, I have thought about doing that a few times. But that was just Pinkie Pie popping Balloons filled with hydrogen gas. To summarize, I just reminded Twilight that  she can teleport. And you should've been there to witness the look of surprise on her face. It was like the idea had never even crossed her mind!"

"Well, that does sounds like her." Joey replied.

"Oh, and by the way, I forgot to tell ya. I'm Twilight's honor guard for her coronation. Which is today." 

"Holy ponyfeathers! She trust's you more than her brother?" William nodded. " Apparently, she does." 

"That's awesome."  William laughed. " Yeah, I suppose it is. Do you mind? I've gotta get ready." He pointed to his house, and the alicorn stepped aside and flew off. William accidently glanced up at the sun, and sneezed. Then walked into his house.



Whilst Twilight, her friends, Joey, and William were preparing to head off to Canterlot, events elsewhere were unfolding. The spirit of Grogar the Necromancer, bound to his shattered bell, and a unicorn by the name of 'Frosty Fields' were busy making their way west, away from Canterlot. 

"Hey, I've got a question." The bell emitted a low groan.  " Yes, what is it?"

"Were are you taking me?" The groan turned into a chuckle. 

"I'm not taking you anywhere, you're taking me. And because I know that anyone with half a brain would ask this next. I would like to have a physical presence, and so. You are taking the remnants of my bell to a place where that can be done." Frosty nodded, in spite of the fact that she was technically alone. She came to a wooden sign which had been planted into the ground next to the dirt road she was walking alone. She realized that she was at the edge of the Everfree Forest.

"Why did you- Oh, that's right I forgot. You ponies are scared of the Everfree forest. Back in my day there were far worse things in the world. Go on!" She groaned, and hesitantly trotted forward into the eerie wilderness.

Back in Ponyville...

William opened up his dresser, which was odd, because he usually just changed clothes through a snap of his finger. His attire usually consisted of camouflaged fatigues, ballistic helmets, night vision, and plate carriers. And part of him though he should go with his usual. But today way, and he hated to admitted, 'special. ' He went with a plaid blue shirt, a pair of cargo pants, his usual hiking boots. And, a tan cowboy hat. As well as a belt buckle with the silhouette of a pegasus emblazoned on it. His Colt M45A1 handgun sat comfortably in a leather holster on his left side. He spun around, walked into the bathroom, and took a look at himself in the mirror. 

"Something's missing." He thought to himself, fixing his collar. An OCP pattern plate carrier appeared on his chest. He gave the straps a tug, and checked the magazine pouches. Then looked back at himself in the mirror. Then said in his best southern accent,

"Why, I don't thing I overdressed!" He checked his watch, and headed out. He didn't want to miss the mid day train to Canterlot.

"What the-" William could practically feel the absurdity that Joey felt when he saw William dressed like a Texan wrangler. 

"Don't bother a-laughin' sonny." William said with a tip of his hat as he stepped up onto the wooden platform of the Ponyville train station. Around him stood dozens of ponies, Twilight and the others stood on the platform alongside them. But Rainbow Dash was no where to be found.

"She's probably just with the Wonderbolts." Applejack informed the others as the ponies began to shuffle onto the train. The conductor stopped William.  

"Do you have a ticket?" William stopped, and frowned.

"Ah, I'm just joking. you've earned your spot on this train sir." Williams face brightened, and he tipped his hat as he stepped inside.

The train chugged along at a steady pace towards Canterlot. William looked around at all the other's, crowded together inside the passenger car. He was silent, opting to simply listen to the ponies banter about their lives. All of a sudden, the train came to a grinding halt.

"Agh! What now!?" He grumbled. William stood up and stormed into the engine compartment. From there, the issue was  obvious. A herd of sheep were grazing... In the middle of the tracks!

" Wha- Ok, who here claims custody of these creatures or I shall be more than happy to remove thee from thy tracks!" He stomped his food and pointed to the ground, nearly falling over in the process.

He waited a few moments, tapping his foot on the platform. A green earth pony stallion trotted out from the heard. Clutching a staff in his right hoof. 

"Yes?" 

"Your herd is blocking the train."

"Oh, it is?" The shepherd responded. William was becoming impatient. He pointed once more to the herd.

"Oh, of course! I'm sorry, I usual keep a tighter grip on the herd from now own." William tipped his hat.

"Thank ya." A few moments later, the herd was off the tracks, William waved to the shepherd, and the train was off again. 


William turned around and found himself face to face with Twilight. 

"What? I'm just as concerned as you are that that stallion was herding his sheep across a rail line. " William chuckled. 

"Well, stupid's gonna stupid. Doesn't matter where." They both laughed.


About a half hour later, the train came rolling into Canterlot station. William, Joey, and the six went one way, and the other passengers went another. Even the conductor got off. This was, needless to say, a very special occasion. The group made their way up to the Royal Castle. And Twilight's friends split off from the group to join the audience. 

Meanwhile...

Grogar the Necromancer led Frosty Fields through the Everfree Forest. The mare walked for quite a while before she came to a stone outcropping. On it's westward side, was a crack in the rock. 

"There, through there!" The bell shards in her saddlebags screeched. 

"Um... I don't think that's the best idea. I mean, it's getting dark out, and I've been really lucky not running into any monsters on the way here-"

"Don't worry! It's fine! All fine!" The shards pulsed with a faint blue light. Frosty shrugged and began to scramble through the crevasse.

"Ah, it's dark in here-" Frosty closed her mouth and nodded as the shards began to glow even brighter. Illuminating her surroundings. It was... A cave, with a couple of stalactites.

"Really?"

"Really." The shards responded. She took a few steps forward, deeper into the cave. 

"Go." Grogar commanded. Frosty descended further into the cave. Until she came to a wide-open section. The shards illuminated the room, casing shadows across what looked to be an underground fortification.

"How has nopony found this?" Frosty asked herself. Trotting forward, she stopped at a large circular stone table. "Light your horn, and touch it to the table." The unicorn did as told, and all of a sudden, the entire cavern lit up. A series of magical torches along the walls flared to life. The table itself also began to glow. Veins of magical energy coursed across it. 

"Alright, how about another question, what is this place?" Grogar chuckled, and the shards hummed. 

"Long, long ago, before that witch Gusty cast me away and imprisoned my bell. I had planned for potential 'incidents'. Now, obviously, one does not usually plan for banishment to a magic bell. But, I digress. The point is, this complex was the center of them all, and the only one still standing today. Now, quickly! Place the shards onto the table." Frosty unslung her bag and, gently, removed the shards and placed them onto the table. 

"Ok, now what-" The shards began to float up from the table. A malicious cackle echoed through the cavern. And Frosty pulled her ears back in mild pain. The laugh quickly quieted.

"Ah, don't worry! Everything is going fine, just fine Frosty." Grogar responded. 

"So... What now?" The bell shards began to organize themselves back into their original form. 

"Why, revenge... Of course!" The voice boomed. A boulder floated out of the shadows. It glowed indigo.

"Tell me Frosty, are there any targets that I could strike at for quick payback? Anything important to the royals?" Frosty Fields pawed the ground with her hoof and sat back on an old stool. 

"Well... Twilight Sparkle's inauguration ceremony is today."

"Where is it happening?" The bell asked. 

"Canterlot Castle-" Without another word, there was a flash of light, and the boulder was gone.

"Just out of curiosity, what was that thing?" Frosty asked concernedly.

Meanwhile, back in Canterlot. 

As the sun was began to set over Equestria. Twilight walked down the carpeted isle, flanked by the Royal Sisters. And William, with his HK 416 at the ready. The 4 came out onto a balcony, and William gazed down at the vast audience. Ponies, Griffons, Dragons, Changeling, Dimond Dogs, Kirin's, Yaks, and a host of other creatures littered the castle grounds. All anxiously awaited the good news.  

"Waited a long time for this, haven't you?" William asked Twilight. She nodded, and waved to the crowd below. William took a breath, and did his best to maintain his composure in front of the crowds as Celestia began her speech. 

"Citizens of Equestria and beyond! My sister and I have ruled this land for quite some time, but even we know that change eventually comes to us all. And though we know it can be unsettling..." William grimaced. "Don't laugh, don't laugh." 

"...It's as natural as the rising and setting of the sun and the moon, both of which my sister and I feel confident leaving in the hooves of the pony who has served this land with distinction for quite some time. " 

"Hah! Haha!" William let out a small bit of laughter at what Celestia had just said. 

"And so, without further adue, I give you the new ruler of Equestria, Princess Twilight Sparkle. William watched as Twilight trotted out from behind him, and promptly proceeded to catch her hoof on the garishly long dress that Rarity had made for her, and fell flat on her face. William snatched her up and got her back onto her hooves. 

"Clutz." He thought to himself, waving at the crowd as though this had been a planed occurrence. 

"Sorry." Twilight responded meekly. William rolled his eyes. He watched as Celestia and Luna levitated their crowns off and, low and behold, fused them into one and placed it upon Twilight's head. But, just as this happened. William began to smell something oddly familiar. 

"Is that, blackpowder? OH SHIT!" Before anyone could do anyone, a massive explosion rocked the castle. Arcs of blue light went everywhere. William quickly phased from his Sunday best into a full body set of ballistic armor. 

Luckily, the blast hadn't been near the balcony. Rather, one of the outlying towers had simply disappeared. William blinked, wiping the soot off his visor. 

"Everyone alright!?" He called out, he looked off to his side. Celestia had engulfed Twilight and her sister in a magical shield. They were unharmed. And, by the looks of things. The audience was mostly unharmed as well. All eyes were now on him. William had to say something, and quickly.

"Apologies for the pyrotechnics folks! Would y'all mind-a stayin' foe the cake?" The newly crowned ruler of Equestria shot him a furious look. 

"Is everycreature alright?" Celestia called out franticly.

"William!" It was Joey, flying just above the smoke cloud alongside a few Wonderbolts. 

"I'm fine Joey, you?"

"Bit singed around the edges, but I'm intact. There's creatures down here that need some serious help!" William dusted himself off. In spite of the situation, he wasn't at all worried. After all, this was something he was good at. It was at this time that Rainbow Dash finally showed up, flying circles over the courtyard. Her expression on her face was a mixture of anger and confusion. 

"Twi! Are you alright!?" She cried out. 

"Twilight's fine. C'mon Rainbow, grab a stretcher and help me out! And maybe then we can dig into desert." William called back. 


He wasn't lying about that cake. And when he was done with it, he'd get to figuring out what had caused the explosion. It seemed as through his day's of being a couch potato were over. At least for the time being.
> Adventure
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Bang! Crack!" 


Bullets met wooden targets on a shooting ranger deep within the Everfree forest. William was drilling himself again. Trying to keep the Canterlot  bombing from 3 day's prior out of his head. It wasn't his fault, obviously, he couldn't have possibly known about it. This was Equestria he was in after all. Not Syria. Not Iraq. Not Aphganistan. Not Myanmar. Not Crimea. Equestria was supposed to be a magical paradise. Fun. In the normal kind of way. 

But regardless, that didn't change the fact that someone must've wanted the princesses, or someone else at that coronation ceremony dead. In the dead silence of the dawn, he holstered his weapons and sat down on a stump to think.

"This is what I wanted, something to do. So, now I have my damn wish, what do I do with it?" He went over his options. The simplest, and he thought best option, was to find who or what tried to blow him up and put a bullet in their head. Jack Bauer style.  But he knew his friends would have something to say about him just walking out of town and waging a one man war like the old days. He whistled the intro to Yankee Doodle then started off towards town.


"Oh- I've never liked the fall months! Everything looks so Garishly orange!" William heard Ponyville before he saw it.

"For once Rarity, you and I agree on something, 'Cept I hate 'em for a whole different reason. They remind me of grade school. Ah!" He shook at the memories, advanced algebra had taken a... less than healthy toll on his mental health. But he had gotten though it. 

"Hey Will!" It was Crimson Starwatcher, the wolfpony was clearly irritated by something. He still didn't like being called 'Will'. He quickly made his way across the bridge which linked the fields on the southeastern side of town to the Town Square, spanning over a small creek which really didn't need such a large and extravagant bridge. 

"I'll let is pass this time. What is it?" 

"There's royal guards stationed at every intersection. They asked for my ID twice! Do I look like I have pockets?" William snickered, "If it's any consolation, it's not my fault that they're here. It's Celestia's, and they're here on her assistance. It was her last official order as this nations matriarch. Just follow me and they'll leave ya be."

"William! You've gotta-" He held up his hand, stopping the white and blue alicorn on an Equestrian bit. 

"Is this about the guards, or something else?" Joey's face made an awkward stare. 


"Twilight let Chrysalis teach teach the foals as part of her 'reformation' process." William facepalmed. "Sorry Crimson, duty calls. Just mention my name, most of these guards operate on a 'nightclub' basis with important people."  She nodded, though the concerned expression on her face showed that she was as confused, if not more so than him about the incompetency of the guards.


"... Anyway younglings! That, is how you manage a hive during the winter." William tapped on the door of a classroom.


"Got a moment?" He tapped on the doorframe. The former changeling queen turned to him with an expression of apathy across her face.

"Yes, yes I do." She said with a shrug. The class surrounding her got up from their spots and walked off. Leaving William and Chrysalis alone in the room. 


"Twilight and the others sent me to watch you." He explained. " I caught the last part of your 'lesson'. Missing home?" Chrysalis scoffed and turned her head away.

"No, not at all! They turned their backs on me, their queen and-" The changeling paused and looked down at William, who responded with a chuckle. " Well, I couldn't care less about you 'reclaiming your kingdom.' But, I did come here with an opinion of my own. How about you go back to your hive and try do make... ugh, peace with Thorax and the others?" She frowned. 

"They disavowed me, I disavowed them. I want nothing to do with them anymore!"


"Are ya sure?" Chrysalis thought about it for a moment. And then nodded. 

"I suppose you are right. Well, I'm not really a fan of Ponyville. "


"You hate it, you absolutely despise it." William folded his arms and stepped closer.  "And, you can leave whenever you want." Chrysalis raised a chitin eyebrow, " And what?"

"You wanna leave? C'mon. Go get your things packed up and go. It really ain't that big of a deal. And you're not one for emotions anyway."

"Except when I'm hungry!" She responded slyly. 


"Well, let's go then." 


The changeling's expression changed almost instantly, from one of indifference. To that of an eager filly begging her mother to buy some candy. William couldn't help but laugh at the reaction. Although he wasn't quite sure what she was excited about. Just an instant ago she had been despising the idea. 

Several minutes later, and she was ready to go. The fact that she didn't have any bags to pack made things much easier. William simply manifested a rucksack and threw some items from the school commissary into it. As they were about to step out the front door, after Chrysalis had bid goodbye to the few 'associates she had met during her time in Ponyville. She called them associates rather than friends oddly enough. Although this didn't bother William. He had encountered many different types of phobias on his journey. Frankly, he understood why Chrysalis still possessed it. But at the same time, couldn't care less. He wasn't known for valuing the opinions of others much. Unless they directly impacted his own life. Some in Equestria though less of him for that. But, again, he didn't care. 

"Alright, we're going northwest. Obviously, no rail line would be able to take us were we're going. Though, it will get us close. C'mon."

Chrysalis and William walked to the radio station. And were joined by Joey.

"Where are you off to now?" The alicorn called out, trotting up to the pair and stopping just shy of 3 paces. Chrysalis was about to say something, but William stepped in. 

"She's homesick. So I'm bringing her back to the hive."

"I though you hated the place?" 

"Oh, because of all the hundreds of them I killed in defense of Ponyville. Nah! I'm sure they're over it." Chrysalis rolled her eyes and scoffed humorously.  There was a moment of awkward silence, and then William muttered, " Well, we're leaving. Please don't ruin the idyllic magic paradise. " He motioned for her to move, and the two boarded the train. 

"Nothing he does makes sense." The alicorn turned and walked off the platform. 

William couldn't figure out who the passengers in the car were staring at more on the ride there, himself or the Changeling queen. William was geared to the teeth in armor. And Chrysalis was well...  Chrysalis. She just had to glance in the direction of a possible dissident. And they would immediately become interested in their hooves. After about 3 hours, the train arrived at it's farthest north western station on the rail line. They had passed by several small towns, including one he was quite fond of, Greenville, was it? Where he had first met that elderly mare, what was her name again? Greystone. He wanted to visit her, but he was busy at the moment. 

"Well, we're here."  William raised his hand and gestured to the wilderness ahead of them. " According to my map, the hive should be a 18 mile walk north of here." He groaned at the prospect of the round trip. "I don't suppose you'd carry your own things?" Chrysalis laughed. 

"I might be royalty, but I'm not lazy." She said, raising what few things she had brought along from Ponyville and setting them. 

"Ok then, would it be too much to ask if I could fly on your back the rest of the way there." She laughed, then her face went dark- Well, darker than it already was. "No. Not a chance. Not even you." He shrugged and hefted the straps of his day pack.

"Figures. Well, let's-a go!" He gave the 'forward' signal with his hand, and walked off into the woods. With Chrysalis close behind him. Though, she eventually managed to push her way in front of him. Insisting that she lead. William was irritated. But, he didn't protest. 

"Let her feel important." The voice in his head said.  "She'll be out of the way in a little while." Well, that last statement was most definitely not true. Based on the fact that they still had a good 17 mile's left to go. And William's feet were already beginning to hurt from all the walking he had done during the day.
> Skeleton In The Closest
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You know, it occurred to me that there's something that you, in my opinion don't value quite enough." Chrysalis frowned. But calmly responded with, " What do you mean?" 

" Fresh air, the woods." Back where I'm from, there are people that ain't never even left the city they were born in. It's sad, when the Sierra Nevada mountain range and all its beauty was less than an hour away from most of them." He shuffled his feet as the grass underfoot turned to gravel. They were at the edge of a cliff. Way out on the horizon, just visible among the hills and woods, was the changeling hive. It's black spires casting ominous shadows across the landscape visible from miles away.

"Huh." Was Chrysalis's response. She didn't look all that interested in William's story. She just kept staring at that spire in the distance. "That's good for them."

"The sun's goin' down. Wanna pack up and bed down for the night... Or keep going?" 

"Whatever's good by you." She responded.

"Hic manebus optime." The changeling cocked her head to one side in confusion. " What did you just say?"


"Here we shall remain, most excellently. It's a latin phrase. Here, let me tell you a story about one of the ancient nations back on my planet. It all started in this part of the world called the Mediterranean..."


Whilst William told tales of Ancient Rome and Greece and those who inhabited it to a intrepid changeling, far away in the Everfree forest, deep within an ancient bunker, Grogar the Necromancer plotted his next move against Equestria. 


"How's your afternoon been?" Frosty asked as she trotted back into the cave with a picnic basket in her magical grasp. "I've been off gathering things to try and make this place less dreary."  The unicorn had been persuaded by Grogar to help him escape Canterlot's magical vault and assist him in what he claimed was a mutually beneficial partnership. And, with no other choice, she accepted. Even if his callus attack on Canterlot had made her just the slightest bit skeptical.


"Yes, yes, that's all good and all. Put the hibiscus over there and the Daises over there." Grogar's bell glowed above the table at the center of the room. It had reassembled itself as soon as it had been brought into the cavern. It flickered brighter when he spoke.

"Now, what shall we do next?" Frosty asked.

"We must focus on reforming my physical body." Frosty nodded. " Yes, of course. But what about the new princess of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle? Or that Quiet Kid? I know for a fact that he was at the inauguration ceremony." 

"I suppose we could work on threats to my-our rule first. Let's start with Ponyville. Now, let's see... How should I end them? Bombs, crossbow, magic? Fire is always a solid choice! No... I'd like to really mess with them!"


"Something to make them mad you mean?" A hoof stomp echoed through the cavern.

"Yes! There is a spell in my arsenal which can quite literally bring anger to life, bringing out the worst in a creature. The problem is, I can't cast it from here, it's far more complicated than a teleportation spell." Frosty Fields swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Don't worry, I'll show you how to manifest it. Then, it's just a matter of teleporting you to Ponyville. And boom! No more problem."

"Boom." Frosty murmured. "Ok, I can do it."


"Alright then, let's get started."


Back at William's camp in the woods, Chrysalis had collapsed on a bed roll as soon as William had brought one out. He had just about gotten into the backstory behind the Trojan war when she dozed off. William sat on a rock close to the edge by  the cliff. Watching the sun go down in the west as he ate a chocolate bar.


"Ugh! This place is too rocky. I can't get any- Oh..." The changeling fluttered up and looked around. William had his rifle broken open in front of him, he was fiddling with the bolt carrier group. He noticed Chrysalis creeping up on him, and quickly snapped his gun back around and turned to meet her with open arms.

"How what your nap?" She groaned," Magic does not help with aching backs." William chuckled. " I can understand that. So, I take it you wanna go by dark? Pack up your things, I didn't even unpack mine. " As Chrysalis packed up her things, William donned a set of NVG's, and waited for Chrysalis to finish, taking up a spot by the cliff so the last rays of sunlight silhouetted him against the landscape. 

"C'mon, let's go."  He motioned forward and led her down the cliff." If we start now, we should make it to the edge of the desolation around the hive by... Morning if nothing slows us down." He waved forward and began making his way down the winding path that led down the cliff and into the surrounding wilderness. 


"So, Chrysalis, you've gotta remember, your subjects have been 'reformed.' Please, I beg of you, don't try to rip 'em apart. Oh, and try not to berate them too much. You need to convince them that you're worth taking control of the hive. Got it?"

"I understand, if those cowards want to play dress up and act like Pinkie Pie-" William turned around.

"Understandable. Listen, when I met Throax and the others a few months back, I didn't know what to say. It was a mixture of anger, confusion, and not trying to burst out in laughter. Oh, I should mention, your eyes glow in the dark."

"What?"

"Yep. It's obvious, even though these. They're shimmering." Chrysalis looked at him concernedly," Are you telling the truth?"


"Indeed I am." The changeling mumbled to herself and floated up off the ground. She floated away from William, off into the bushes.

"Hey! You're going the wrong way." He hurried after her as she seemed to aimlessly wander off. He walked over and took a look. Her pupils were wide open, she seemed almost catatonic. William gave her a poke with a bayonet, and she snapped out of it and fell to the ground. 

"Agh! Huh- What?"

"Snap out of it. What's going on with you?"

"I... Don't know." William facepalmed, "Well then, let's keep on going. I'm not sure changelings are supposed to be taking Tylenol anyhow."

"Pray tell, what is Tylenol?" William laughed, "Ma'am, that's on a need-to-know basis and you don't need to know." He rolled his shoulders and pushed his way through the bushes.

About an hour later of William and Chrysalis wandering through the woods in awkward silence, when it was suddenly shattered by an earsplitting roar. Then several more.

"Manticore's!" Chrysalis shouted in a hushed whisper. "Where is it?" William responded," Get out into the open! Don't let them get behind you!" He examined the magazine in his gun. "M855, green tips. Don't run. They'll think you're prey." He flipped up his NOD's and swapped to a Surefire light on his rifle, resting his finger on the pressure switch.

"Here kitty kitty!" He flashed his light out into the darkness. He caught the glint of a set of fangs. Followed by what sounded like the flapping of leathery wings. 

"If there are any noncombatants out there, respond now!" He paced backwards. Then let of a round over the treetops. Birds went flying off in panic, but still the manticores remained. Growling and seemingly even more aggressive than before. William wanted to swap over to thermals to scan the treeline, but he didn't want to be left without a long gun should they come at him. These creatures were the size of pickup trucks. And their scorpion tails were nasty and could rip a pony's leg off in the right spot. 

Deciding that he had given enough warning, he started spraying back and forth into the bushes. The flash hider did little to obscure the blasts and cracks of his rifle that sent shadows dancing across the ground as William emptied his gun's magazine. He pressed the magazine release, and with a flick of his wrist, sent the P-mag flying off into the darkness. Quickly, he replaced it with a 60 round drum, hitting the bolt release with his left thumb whilst he grabbed his pistol with the other hand via a cross draw and let several .45 ACP rounds off into the bush. He reholstered with his sidearm and brought his rifle back up. 

"Agh! William! Why don't you just tear off my ears while you're at it!?" Chrysalis clutched her ears angrily. Gunfire and sensitive equine, or insectoid ears didn't mix at all.  She hissed at the manticores as William kept backing away. A manticore came right up out of the bushes and moved to pounce, William stitched it from tail to maw with a half dozen rounds, and it toppled over, he swung his gun around and clipped 2 more as they darted past. 

"It's a whole damn pack!" He tossed a concussive grenade off in the general direction of the creatures. He almost laughed when he got the result he wanted. A lot of yelps and howls of pain, alongside running in the opposite direction.

"What are these things doing out here!? I was told that this forest is supposed to be peaceful!" He paused for a moment, then realized the irony of the situation.

"It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate son!" He cackled softly. 

"Oh, surely you would think to leave some fun for me too?" Chrysalis morphed herself into a manticore. Marked only by her glowing green eyes.

"Alright, I think I've routed them. Quick, let's get out of here before-" He whipped his gun around and spotted a timber wolf stalking him. He swapped over to a sawn-off Remington 870 and lobbed a round of dubble odd buckshot through its body, turning it into little more than splinters. 

"Go go go go!!!" William broke out into another sprint he threw more grenades behind him. " Bang! Bang! Bang!" More manticores and timber wolves gone. The broke through the treeline at a rock outcropping. The flurry of grenades gave him just enough time to swap over to a thermal sight. He whipped it around to gun down the one on the rock. But noticed something off about it's heat signature, it was all muddled. 

"Chrysalis, can ya help me out with this?" She roared at the creature. And, in a flash of green flame, the manticore up on the outcropping morphed into a changeling with red markings.

" It's you!" The changeling cried, pointing at Chrysalis, who transformed back into her regular form and laughed. "Why, of course it's me! I wish to speak to your 'leader', whoever that may be. Thorax, I would presume?" The changeling turned to William. " And you, your name is William, correct?" He hissed. 

"Indeed it is, and I take it you're Pharynx?" The changeling nodded in affirmation. " Yes, it is. Your reputation precedes you, Quiet Kid." William grinned. 

"Heh, I've always wanted to hear that!" He thought to himself. " Well? Let's go!" He waved his finger in a circle, and kept walking. 

"It isn't a good reputation!" Pharynx protested. William chackled again. " Of course it isn't, but I couldn't care less!" 

"So... How's the whole 'reformation' thing a-going?" He got no response but a grunt. "Understandable." He broke open an MRE stuffed with chocolate and crackers and began to eat away with his night vision on, being careful not to scratch the lenses. 

"What is that?" Both changelings turned to him. " Like I said," He paused to swallow, "Need to know basis. Besides... Don't ya'll feed off love or what not?"

"Well, yes?" He looked up at Chrysalis in fear. She didn't even acknowledge it. " Indeed I do, but with you and all of those ponies around me all the time. I haven't had to sink my fangs into anyone for quite some time now." William paused and glanced over at her. " What was that?" 

"Oh, nothing!" William groaned and tugged on the cuffs of his OCP pattern camouflage. "It's what, a hour out from here? Hey, hey! Any chance we could teleport back out of here once we're done? Hello!?"

"That's all?"

"You'll be fine- fineish." Grogar replied. " Just cast and run. I'll bring you back once it's been done."

In a flash of blue light, Frosty Fields was brought from Grogar's bunker out to Ponyville. She appeared on the southern side of town, just past the bridge. 

"Oh well... Now, what did he say about this? Ah yes! I've got to escalate a conflict, then cast it. And... Run? Oh well, doesn't sound too hard."  She began trotting along, walking past town hall and into town. With nothing but porch lanterns and the glow of the moon overhead to light her way. She looked around nervously. Though, being that she wasn't a giant wizard goat, but rather an average looking unicorn mare. She blended in much better. 

"I told you too stop buying barley! For Celestia's sake! Just get whole wheat or oats from now on!" A female voice cried from inside a house. 

"What about sourdough?" A male voice responded. It was a family argument, nothing really to be worried about, but it would do well enough. She ignited her horn with the spell pattern given to her by Grogar. Her horn started up glowing in it's typical greyish color, but then began to faintly spark red. 

"Oh, this is so stupid!" Frosty thought to herself as she walked up to the front door and knocked gently, whisking her tail uncomfortably as she awaited a response.

"Yes?" The mare came to the door, as soon as she had cracked open the door, Frosty panicked and sent the spell flying through the door and right into the family. A flash of red light later. And the door slammed shut. She could hear the sounds of screaming and furniture smashing inside. 

"Oh my! Time to leave I suppose!" Frosty galloped off. 

William strolled behind and let Pharynx and Chrysalis let go on ahead. "I'm tired, I'm full so I can't eat to stay up. I'm drowsy to no end, my bones hurt, the soles of my feet hurt." He complained. The two floating changelings stared back at him. Probably expecting him to apologize for his complaining. William said nothing. It was a long while, and William had been forced to walk it all but they finally made it to the cliff overlook just outside of the changeling hive. 

"Damn. You've made some renovations. The desert wasteland was now dotted with all manner of plants, and the very tip of the spire seemed to be missing. On top of that, said wasteland seemed to be far larger than he had originally observed. In the distance, more rocky spires rose up from desert. The thing was that unlike the deserts farther south, this one had to be in the low sixties, just below what some psychopath decided would be considered 'room temperature'. He paused out at the edge of the cliff, and with a snap of his finger, changed into a flat dark earth jacket and Wrangler jeans with the silhouette of a devil lizard and crossed rifles adorning the left side of the jacket. He tugged on his belt and then walked out ahead of Pharynx.

"So, this is where ya live, huh?" Pharynx nodded. "Who- how did you do that?"

"Oh, magic. That simple, nothing more." 

"Nothing more? How could you say that? It's awesome!" Pharynx shouted. His voice drew the attention of several more camouflaged. Changelings, who stared at Chrysalis with a mixture of shock and terror. Although William suspected that they though the same of him. 

"What are you doing here!?" William recognized the voice. " Thorax!" The changeling materialized out of a wall and gawked at Chrysalis. He looked just like William remembered from Twilight's 'School of Friendship'. Green with orange highlights and strange antlers. It looked like he'd been attacked by a 5 year old with a glitter bucket who'd watched to much well... My Little Pony.


"What, are you doing here?" His voice sounded like he was trying to determine whether to blast her to bits or give her a big hug. He assumed that he probably wasn't capable of the first one. And was too scared to try the second one. 


"I have come here-" William cleared his throat.

"She's causing a ruckus in Ponyville, and she doesn't necessarily like living with ponies. I made the trip with her because she wanted back into the hive. 

"Indeed I most certainly do." Chrysalis responded.

"And why should we? She kept our entire hive enslaved and subjugated for the better part of who knows how long!" Pharynx counted. William chuckled. " That don't mean she hasn't changed since, have ya seen Discord?" He set his gloved hand on Chrysalis's shoulder. She pushed him away.

"Give her a chance, try to get to know her. I'm off to try'n find a place to get some sleep."  Chrysalis went off in one direction, still surrounded by a crowd of very confused looking changelings. William sat down on a rock and unpacked his bed roll, lit by the glow of the various green bio lamps and torches around him. He was quick to pass out to the sound of crickets and the distant commotion of the hive. 


William awoke to the sound of shouting, "Huh!? Oww! What-" Something kicked him right out of bed. Angered, he shot up and grabbed his rifle. The sun had just about begun to rise in the east. The creature that had kicked him was Chrysalis by the looks of things. Trying to back away from an angry crowd.

"Why did you come back here? You're worse than Pharynx was!" One of them asked, stomping their hoof. It took William no time at all to figure out what had gone wrong. 

"Ok, ok, everyone, please wait. Explain what happened to me. Do it calmly! One at a time!" He pointed to Pharynx first. "Oh, not much. She blew up our... Ugh, feeling's forum. Sent a magic charge flying right into the center of it all. The crater's still smoldering."

"In my defense, it was perhaps the most pathetic thing I have ever seen! I can't believe that you were all once my subjects." William scratched his chin and rubbed his tired eyes. "Gee, no wonder you abandoned them when they transformed. But listen, she's still one of you. And she tried to care for you the best she could. Even if that meant attacking ponies to steal emotions of all things! I went over this with Chrysalis, you'd have benefited more had you approached Equestria with a proposition for a mutually beneficial alliance rather than going to war and leading yourselves right into the crosshairs of my guns." There was a murmur in the crowd. William continued talking.

"Those of you who have gone up against me in combat, and survived. And you know who you are. Will understand what I'm talking about."

"That may be so, but what about her? What proof do we have that she isn't just going to turn around and do what she did before?"

"My word and Her's. Nothing more, nothing less." Thorax sighed. "Alright, we'll give her a chance." 


"Thank you." Chrysalis replied. It was perhaps one of the few times he had ever heard her try to be sincere. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something off. The changeling's eyes were glowing again. Her body was engulfed in a flash of light. Much brighter than a normal transformation. 

"She's transforming!" Thorax exclaimed. William watched intentively as Chrysalis floated back down. She looked almost the same, except for the holes in her legs and horn, which had disappeared. And, she wore a bright smile on her face. Which immediately faded back into indifference, and then turned back into a smile. 

"Thank you for bringing me back to my hive William. Truly, it means a lot." William paused for a moment. " Show of hooves, who'd like Chrysalis to stay now?" They all went up this time. 

"Well that was much simpler than I had thought it would be. Sure glad this wasn't some kind of 'skeleton in the closet situation and you could just get straight to the point."

"Oh, but I have had them in the past. They make good chewtoys for Dimond dogs." William blinked. "Good for you, now... Should I stay or should I go." He laughed again.

"Do what you want, you've earned it for bringing Chrysalis back to us." Thorax replied. Pharynx crept up next to him. " Hey, question... Can I have one of those whatever you call it?"

"My rifles? No-" Before William could finish his sentence, he was teleported away by Chrysalis. And reappeared back in Ponyville as if nothing had happened in the first place.

But, as William looked around, he noticed that the streets were eerily quiet, especially for 9:30 in the morning. 

"I've got a damn bad feeling about this."
> Dispositions
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" This is odd." He repeated, examining the street. He was right by the new library, just a short 5 minute jog from his house. 

He quickly ran over from the alleyway to his house and went around back, the glass of his back door was unbroken, he materialized his key and opened the door, throwing back the curtain and scanning the living room. "Hello?" He asked softly. No reply was given, he locked the door behind him. And proceeded up the stairs to the second floor of his home with his sidearm up in one hand.  Everything seemed to be just as he had left it. He went off too the right and looked out his bedroom window. At first glance the town seemed intact and undamaged. Then, he noticed a few wisps of smoke rising from the north side of town. Another thing, there were no pegasi in the air. Not a single one. Which was very out of place, given that there were usually around 2 to 5 pegasi flying around at any given time. Even though the town was predominantly made up of earth ponies.

"Hmph. Now's one of those moments where I wish I could just call Twilight and ask her a question. This ain't normal." He opened his front door and looked out into the street.

"This better not be some kinda pocket dimension that Chrysalis teleported me to!" He looked around. He could hear dogs barking, that was good. It meant that some creatures were still here. 

"Dawgone it! I was planning on rewatching Smokey and the Bandit!" He kicked a stone off his front porch. 

"I oughta check and see if Joey's here." He jogged over to his friends house and pounded on the door. "Hey, bud! Open up!"

No response. He banged on it again. And waited. After half a minute, it occurred to him that he probably wasn't home. He wasn't quite willing to try knocking on Crimson Skywatcher's door just yet. And he didn't really know his other neighbors all that well. And so, he decided to try heading over to the town hall. A few minutes, and he was there. He twisted the door handle and crept inside. "Hello? Anyone in here?" He surveyed the dimly lit room.


"Oh, William. I'm so glad you could join us! Haha!" It took him a few seconds to recognize the voice. 


"Ma'am. Mayor. Might you be able to tell me what happened to... I don't know, everyone?" 

"Oh, I can't help you with that. But I would be more than happy to relocate your face!" His eyes widened behind his sunglasses." The hell did you just say?" William's hand went to his gun. "She's a pony, she might've just threatened to kill you. But, she's still a pony. Damnit!"

"What are you talking about?" He kept a calm tone. And an awkward smile on his face. " Seriously though. Please tell me." 


"You piece of-" The mayor threw something at him. He sidestepped as it clattered to the floor. "That was a perfectly good chair, why'd ya do that?"

"You're the worst!" She threw another chair at him. This time, he caught it, and set it down. He growled. "Damnit lady! I have done nothing! I was gone all yesterday! I barely know you but I'm fairly sure this ain't normal." As he finished his sentence, a baseball flew through the window and hit him in the head, harmlessly bouncing off of his head.

"This is ridiculous. Agh!" He groaned as he stood up, and began to walk over to the mare who was throwing things at him from behind a podium. He was sick of putting up with this. He had no tolerance for things like this. 

"Where are you!?" He walked around the podium. And was met with, well... It definitely looked like the mayor. Except for the fact that her fur was matted with dirt and sweat, and he eyes were glowing a deep red. 


"Who put what in your coffee this morning?" She snarled, which seemed out of place. " I don't know, I can't stand it!" She whipped around and reared up. William scrambled out of the way as she sent a kick into the nearby wall. "That's it!" He whipped out his cattle prod. " You're commin' with me!" He reached into a small pouch on his gun belt and pulled out some paracord, then began to tie the mare to the sturdiest chair he could find.

"What's happening to you!?" He demanded. Where did everypony else go?" She didn't look scared in the slightest. Which concerned William. Usually ponies would start shuttering if he so much as brushed up against them in public. Something which had started to go away before the Canterlot bombing. With some of them even attempting to invite him over for brunch. But, after the attack, they were all back to their old scared selves.


They took change even worse than he did. 

"I oughta throw you in a closet and leave you? Would you like that!?" She continued to growl and whinny in an almost feral manner. He rolled his eyes and pocketed his sunglasses.

"This is ridiculous. " He filled a bowl with water and  propped it up next to her like a dog. "Now listen ma'am, you gon' stay RIGHT here 'till I figure this out. I'm sorry if you have to go to the bathroom, just... Drag yourself over there. Ok?" She began screaming bloody murder. And a spoon flew through a window and hit William in the arm.


"What now!?" He stormed outside. Standing there was Rarity. With the same glowing red eyes. "So, what do you think of my apparel? I actually found something other than camo that I like." She snarled, and levitated up what must have been a dozen drawers worth of silverware. Knives and all. 

"Damn. This looks bad." He ducked, and the room filled with aggressive silverware. Tearing through the windows and thin walls. William dove for cover, the mayor growled in anger, but did so as well.

"Oh William!? I'm going to start a new fall lineup! I think I'll name them all after different parts of YOU!!" She cackled. William brought his gun up at a 30 degree angle and sprayed out the window let off several shots on semi-auto. 

"Back the fuck off!" He swapped to a more complete helmet with a face shield, and a more durable rig with tougher plates and arm protection. A sort of ballistic vest t-shirt. Alongside shin pads. "Come at me!" He let off more shots in the general direction of the flying silverware as he ran half crouched, contemplating what he was going to eat for lunch as a fork imbedded itself in his right shoulder pad. He ran upstairs and threw open a door leading out onto a balcony. He began scanning his surrounding all of a sudden a white and blue blur tore through the skies and a figure glared down at him. 

"Joey. Hey, hey!"  He waved to him. The alicorn floated above him. Blocking out the sun and casting shadows across the deck. 

"William!?" He sounded almost happy to see his friend, but William knew to dive when he began charging his horn and sent a bolt of magical energy through the deck. Causing the Mayor to break out into another fit of equine cursing. 

"What are you doing!?" William shouted back. The alicorn didn't respond. He only circled back around for another pass. William rolled back on inside and waited. Joey disappeared in a flash of blue light, and reappeared right outside. At this moment, he sprung and tackled the alicorn. They both would have gone tumbling over the side had Joey not bounded up into the air in an attempt to throw William off.

"What the hay is wrong with you!?" The alicorn screamed, bounding from side to side and kicking in an attempt to get William off. Who was now hanging on for dear life.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" William repeated, trying not to look down. Almost as if sensing his friends thoughts, the equine stopped in mid air, and went into a steep glide. William swung his way up onto his back and yanked his wings back. The alicorn came to a grinding halt about 50 feet off the ground. 

"Cut the crap before you get us both killed! Maybe after that you can tell me what's going on!" His friend ignored him, and barrel rolled. This wasn't working. And, on that note. He used to be unaware that a pegasus could buck in mid-air. He was now. Joey punched through the cloud layer, revealing a half dozen pegasi with murderous expressions on their faces and glowing red eyes. 

"Hey guys, remember me?" They appeared to not. They all rose into the air around him. 

"Do y'all mind? What'd I ever do to you?" They all growled in unspoken agreement. And then kicked William off of his alicorn. 


"Damnit! Go to hell-" He was freefalling for a moment, then he disappeared through the clouds beneath a parachute. Then crash landed on the road and took of running. He looked up, and watched the silhouettes of a dozen flying equines disappear out of sight. 

"Agh! They aren't usually-ever like this. Something is really wrong. If only I could call Twilight. Where was a good sorcerer when you needed one, eh? He could go to Zecora. But that was an almost 45 minute walk. And he didn't feel like putting up with all the rhyming. 

"Maybe her old castle will have something noteworthy!" He began to creep his way across town. But, he froze when he passed through Sugarcube corner. A bloodcurdling laugh rang out from within the pastry shop. William decided not to investigate. 

"Cupcakes!" He muttered with a chuckle. Hoping that he wouldn't have to spend his afternoon mopping up blood. He hurried his way along. The School of Friendship looked empty as well. He'd check that place later. He crept up to the door and slung it aside. Locking it behind him, he activated his weapon light and shone it down the hallway. Almost on que, the crystals on the wall began to glow a blueish white, lighting up the room for him. 

"Well ain't that convenient?" He said with a light chuckle. Tapping the walls with his knuckles. He went straight for the library. 

"Hello there William." Rainbow Dash's voice echoed through a hall.  "Let me guess, you're lookin' to kill me too?" 

"Ah man! You ruined the surprise!" 

"Speakin' of that, where are ya?" He heard a growl. "The throne room, just try me!" He laughed. "There ain't no way in hell you'd ever be able to stand up to me with a straight face- Actually, scratch that. You're borderline insane!" He rounded the corner, and found Rainbow... Twirling a sword which she must have gotten out of a display case somewhere. Her eyes were glowing blood red, and her mouth was practically foaming with rage.

"Are you sure!?"She lunged at him, William sidestepped. And drew his tomahawk. "I don't wanna hurt you!" He shouted. She landed on all fours. And began to circle him. "Good, 'cause I wanna hurt you!" Rainbow charged again, William batted her away with the tip of his blade. 

"But why? What happened?" This actually caused her to halt for a second. "There was a scream, and a flash of red, and now I wanna tear your head off!!!" He was now forced into the moral dilemma of attacking the  pegasus trying to murder him, and retrea-tactically withdrawing and going another route. Instead, he transitioned from a tomahawk to a gladius, and parried Rainbow Dash's blade, he locked hilts, and twisted the blade out of her mouth. Then gave her a 'gentle' tap on the head with the pommel of his weapon. She stumbled, William grabbed her and swept her leg, dropping her to the ground. 

"Stay down!" He ordered. "Dear lord, what's next? The CMC throws a Molotov cocktail in my face!?" He twitched. The pulled out a set of quick tie zip-cuffs and fastened them around her legs. "Stay quiet." She scowled at him. He patted her on the head and ruffled her mane.

"I'll rip out your-" He covered her mouth with a piece of duck tape. "Stay still and don't try anything. I've gotta deal with somepony else." She began to roll away in protest, and then darted up into the air for a brief moment before William yanked her down.

"I reckon I oughta tie up your wings as well!" He sat her up in her respective chair in the map room, leaving the door open by a crack and then left the building. But, as he walked down the path towards the school and onto the bridge over the pond. His vision was suddenly filled with a purple glow, and an alicorn figure appeared ahead of him. 

"Twilight!" He shouted. " According to powers beyond my control, you were recently made ruler over this land! And so, I would like to humbly ask that you explain to me why I've spent my morning dodging silverware and trying not to get trampled to death by herds of murderous ponies!?" She set herself down. 

"What? No, no, Spike sent me a message and asked that I come and visit, I had heard that you were taking Chrysalis back to her hive- By the way, where is-"

"No time, damnit! Explain!" He pointed to the purple and little green dragon approaching them with a broken cider bottle in claw. 

"Spike, what are you doing with that?" His eyes glowed blood red. "You never spend enough time with me!" He roared. Charging at her with the bottle angled like some sort of mini bayonet. She picked him up in a magical aura. Rendering him mostly harmless.

"What happened here?"

"I don't know, but it's townwide, even Joey tried to turn me into a scorch mark on the pavement. I don't even know where he learned those spells!" Twilight sighed, and looked down at Spike. "Well, I think I recall what this is, Starlight Glimmer attempted to literally bottle up her anger a while back. Do you know who cast the spell?" William shook his head.

"Nope. Just showed up, and ponies started attacking me." 

"Huh, give me a moment. I just need to take a sample of the spell, and, if we can't find the caster, then I'll have to look into creating a cure. I shouldn't be that hard considering I've seen it before."

"You're talking about this thing like it's a plague." She rolled her eyes.


"Because that is what it is. It's a metaphysical virus comprised of sentient emotions. The reason why you haven't been 'infected' yet, lies in the fact that you always seem to be angry." William laughed, and crossed his arms. 

"That, is a very accurate observation Twi." She cocked her head off to one side and raised an eyebrow.

"You never called me that before, why now?" William smiled. "Just trying to take your mind off the fact that your dragon companion is trying to tear out your throat." She jumped as Spike sunk his fangs into her fur. There was a bright flash of reddish light, wisps of smoke drifted up. William put his hand up to shield his eyes. 


"Twilight? Ya good?" He watched as the alicorn of friendship lifted up off the ground, and glared down at him with bloodshot eyes. What left her mouth in the moment after was something less resembling coherent speech, and falling more in line with a distinctly equine cry of rage. She ignited her horn. William raised his rifle and fired off a burst. The little rubber bullets bounced harmlessly off of a magical shield. 

"I'm gonna gut you like a fish!" Spike shouted gleefully, waving his broken bottle around like a bayonet atop Twilight. William wanted to make a joke about Napoleon, but he had a hard time finding anything to laugh at.

"Do you honestly think you can hurt me!?" An eldritch voice rose up from within Twilight, William took off running. Out of town. 

"I've got to loose them." He thought to himself as he ran back the way he came. William sprinted, and sprinted, and sprinted. As it turns out, a human cannot possibly outrun a pony at full gallop. Much less a pegasus. Alicorns even less so. He ran until he was coughing and sputtering and his vision blurred. Twilight kept gaining on him.

"God, I wish this she were some other creature. If this was any dragon they'd be taking a lead rich dirt nap by now!" He dove until a flower cart and watched as Twilight over shot. Losing him. He crawled into a side street and sat up behind some planter boxes to rest. After that he continued on his way out of town. Wondering where to go.

"Maybe Zecora would be willing to help me? God no, I can't stand all the rhyming. And her shack reeks of Swamp Fever." 


He ranted over his options as he made his way back around the Town Hall  and across the bridge leading southeast out of town. As he was about halfway across, the shadow of a pegasus danced across the ground. And he took off running, he jumped into the first patch of bushes he could find on the other side of the creek. He went prone down by an oak tree and looked across the stream with a thermal scope. He could see everything. Even the pegasi congregating in the skies above. He could see the two alicorns, both in flight looking for him. He could see the mayor through the broken window. And a whole host of any unicorns and earth ponies. Even Vinyl Scratch was there. And she almost never left the confines of her home. 

"Just like a hog hunting trip down in West Texas!" A voice in his head muttered. He pushed the thought aside. "A semi-auto .300 Win mag rifle with a suppressor and a bipod would work great with this optic." He thought to himself. 


No. That wasn't ok. He was this town's One Man SWAT team, their minuteman. As the towns only gun owner and trained tactician, he had an obligation to uphold the ideals of the Second Amendment of The United States constitution in this place. He had an obligation to protect those who could not defend themselves. Because, in this town. His neighbors problems had a way of becoming his as well. Even in an far off world. The words written in that ancient document still held life. Such was the way things were in the world. 


William heard the rustling of leaves behind him. He drew a suppressed Glock 18 with a weapon light on the end and waited for whatever it was to poke through the bush. He saw a glimmer of sunlight glance off of a bit of blueish hoof fur. A unicorn mare stumbled out, his light lit up the whole scene. He put his finger to his mouth. 
"Shh..."

Her eyes were wide eyed with terror. She looked oddly familiar. "Hey... you're that journalist that tried to interview me a while back!" 


Frosty Fields had deployed the spell, just the way Grogar had asked her to. He had told her that he would materialize an escape portal. But, as it turns out, an ancient magical bunker inside a similarly magic forest run by a Magic Bell didn't exactly have the best reception. The goat-bell had simply told her to hide, and that he would have his teleportation spells back up and running in any moment. That was over 10 hours ago. It was now light out. And he hadn't called back. So, she had taken to hiding in the first patch of foliage she came across. Which, coincidently enough, was the same one William had climbed into some time later. And, since she wasn't exactly the best hider, he had noticed her. And was now holding her at gunpoint.

"Sh... Calm down. Frosty Fields, is it? What are you doing here?" She looked at him concededly. 

"I-I was just in town visiting some friends, and everypony started trying to kill me!" She sat down, and pawed the ground, her tail swished nervously. William shook his head. She stared at him wide eyed. Her eyes moving darting from his gun to his face. 

"Do you by any chance know any spells for fixing emotional plagues?" He pointed back at the town, she shook her head in response and gave an awkward smile." Sorry..." William turned around. Frosty looked to be on the verge of a mental breakdown. He barely knew this mare. But he didn't want her giving away his position. So he turned around a set his hand on her mane. 

"Don't worry, just stay right here and don't make any noise. When the screaming and gunfire stops. It oughta be safe then."  She flopped onto the ground in a fit of tears. He sighed. "Gee, I can't do anything for you, can I? Well, don't be a burden. Thanks." He gave her a nod and a thumbs up. And set off.

"That was close." She thought to herself.  Getting back up off the ground and dusting herself off.


"This is so stupid!" William said with a disconcert grunt as he hit the forward assist on the side of his rifle. He was out of options. Sweet Apple Acre, judging by the sound of clanging pitchforks, wasn't worth the trouble. Which left him with one option. 

"Crimson."

He stood at the edge of the pathway leading up to his next door neighbor's home. He hung his head. "Goodness gracious, what the hell is this world comin' too?" He fixed his jacket and walked up to the front porch, he gently tapped on the front door. Then backed off to the side and awaited a response. The door creaked open. And William poked his head in.

"Hello?" He stepped in, his gun at low ready. The room was all dark. And, go figure, as soon as he was through the precipice. The door closed behind him.

"Hello." It was Crimson alright. William turned his head, and spotted a pair of glowing eyes in the darkness. Candlelight flickered across the room. And she came into view. "Hello William. I've been waiting for you." He raised an eyebrow. 


"What are you talking about?" A wicked smile curled up over her face. She took a step forward. William took a step back. Crimson whined. "Just what are you doing here?" She walked up slowly and brushed up against his right leg. He looked down and frowned.

"Have you looked out of your window recently? Maybe listened to the chaos unfolding out there? Everyone I know is trying to murder me because of some errant spell!" She chuckled, and whisked her tail around. 

"Really? Why be worried about that? You know, I've never really taken the time to get to know you." She winked at him. He facepalmed, and glanced around.

"Question, are you high right now?" She blushed, and crossed her front paws siting down in front of him with a smile. Her eyes sparkled red. William cringed. Something was definatly off.



"Ok, enough of this. I'm going to get a bucket of ice water." She pouted. " Oh, c'mon! Just relax William!" He turned and walked into her kitchen, reached into the ice cooler. Reminding himself that he was the only person in town to have running water, he threw some ice cubes into a 5 gallon Home Depot bucket and half melted it. "Sorry carpet. But she needs to come to her senses-"

"Oh, way down yonder on a Chattahooche..." She was singing, it was slurred, but she was singing.

"Hay, since when do you know Alan Jackson?" He turned around, and readied the bucket. She rounded the corner at the same time, and tackled him. He carefully guided the bucket to the ground. She set her head on his plate carrier and rolled over. Then licked his visor and began panting. 

"Get off of me. I thought we settled this ages ago!" He grabbed her by the forelegs and pulled her up, then walked over and dropped her in the bucket. She screamed, and jumped right in between his legs. William looked down in surprise. Just in time for the candle to fizzle out. 

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Her voice called. William tapped on his amplified hearing protection. He could hear Crimson Starwatcher slowly trotting circles around him. 

"What is it that you want... Exactly?" A giggle echoed through the house. 

"Oh, you know..." William grimaced at the statement. 


She bounded into and out of sight. He heard wings unfolding, and something heavy jumped on his back. He felt something clawing at his neck, and wheeled around and practically crawled out the front door and slammed it shut to the protest of Crimson. But then thought things over.

"I need her help to fix the rest of my friends!" He swapped over to his thermal scope and tracked the wolf-pony to the back door. Being careful not to wake the cockatrices up. He slid the screen door aside. And her ears perked up.

"Yes?" She asked in a soft voice. William twitched. And, with a thunderous roar, jumped into the darkness and grabbed her. 

"Change your mind Will?" He bit his lip. "No one calls me WILL!" He snatched her up by the mane, and waterboarded her with the bucket of ice water.

"Agck! What the hay!?" She shuttered. And bounded away from him. " Get your gloves off of my mane!" She glared at him. William chuckled, and tapped his boot on the hardwood floor. 

"Heh, you're back to yourself! Thank the eldritch gods of Home Depot!" Crimson raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" William sighed. " Long story." Her eyes widened. 

"Wait, did I-"

"Yeah, you almost did." She laughed uncomfortably. William raised his ballistic visor. 


"Never speak of this again."

"Agreed." Crimson nodded hurriedly. That they shook on it. 


"Now." He clapped his hands. " Can you help me fix the malevolent emotional virus that made everyone in town want to try to murder me?" She shrugged. "Sorry, I'm not really the magical type. Try Fluttershy." He facepalmed.

"Ok, I'll see ya around." He turned around and walked out the back door. "Sorry for the door by the way. I rushed the breach."

"I... Can see that."

William was kicking himself until the sun went down. Fluttershy, meanwhile, was both seemingly unaffected, and capable of solving his problem. Give or take a half hour later. And the whole town was asleep in the afternoon sun. Sleeping off the wave of insanity that had fallen over all of them. All the while, William took a seat on his front porch and whittled a stick with a pen knife while an old Jerry Reed song played over a small radio. He set an apple down and ate pieces off the tip of his knife. 

"Ah," he looked up into the sky and watched a bat dart in and out of view. 



"Life, life is good. Come morning I'll get started on figuring out who did this. 'Till then it's easy going." He set his boots up on a stool and smiled.
> Feels Like Home
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Out in the front yard sittin' on a log..." He felt a hoof tap him on the shoulder.

"William!"

"Eh?" William tipped up his sunglasses and eyed the disconcert alicorn overshadowing him. William pushed Joey out of the way and stood up. 

"What is it? I'm singing along to one of my favorite songs. Trying that, 'be happy' thing you've been telling me so much about."

"I don't have any problem with that man. One of Starwatcher's cockatrices got lose again. And Carrot Top is halfway to becoming a statue!" William sighed and put his hands on his belt.

"Walk with me." The two began to walk in unison away from Joey's front yard. William pointed back at the expanse of grass and the small garden out in front of his friends quaint Equestrian cottage. 

"I need that." The alicorn arched an eyebrow and looked at him with an expression of confusion on his face. 


"The chair you were just sitting on, my house, the garden, or all of them at once?" William laughed. 

"I want a yard. I'm sick and tired of waking up to the sight of my neighbors tending to their gardens and then shuffling off to work across bare gravel and cobblestone. I've got a backyard that leads right off into the woods, sure. But that just ain't the same." The alicorn trotted alongside him let out a laugh and smiled up at him with earnest. 

"Then... Just build yourself one. How hard can it be?"  A shrill scream rose up from the next street over. Followed by Rainbow Dash's cry of; "I don't got it! Run everypony!"


And shortly after, " Oh NO YOU DON'T!" From Applejack, William's pace grew quicker. He drew a cattle prod from thin air, and calmly walked out into the town square. He scanned his field of view until he spotted the demonic chicken-creature. They were incredibly dangerous animals in their own right. Why one would raise them for eggs and meat was completely beyond him. But, Crimson Starwatcher managed regardless.

"Applejack?" He called out. " He could hear the crack of a lasso flying through the air. " Dang! Fell short!" The cockatrice darted out from behind a cupcake stand. 

" Does Crimson want it alive or dead!?" Rainbow Dash poked her head out from behind the fountain. " I don't know. But I'm loosing my cool with this thing!" William nodded in agreement, and transitioned over to a fairly ordinary 12 gauge pump action shotgun. He slid the chamber back, and stuffed one additional shell of Birdshot into the chamber, then locked it back in place. 

"Where is it?" A demonic squawk rose up from behind him, without thinking, William whirled around and set the shotgun's holographic sight reticle onto the creature. All of a sudden, Crimson Starwatcher bounded up over the rooftop of the building behind it and pounced on the cockatrice, strangling it with her claws. 

"Gotcha!" She exclaimed, throwing a sack over it's head and then perking up triumphantly. 

"You could've let me take the shot." William grumbled. 

"Thank you for not murdering my food." She responded with a tinge of irritation in her voice. There was an awkward pause, and then she added;

"For me."  

William smiled, and the shotgun in his hands disappeared. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked around. "Folks! I apologize for the inconvenience. Please go back to whatever it was you were doing before the medusa-chicken thing attacked." There were some murmurs in the crowd, but they dispersed without any complaints. William turned to glare at Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Crimson. He put his hand on his forehead, and sighed.

"How does your livestock keep getting loose?" He finally asked Crimson. 

" They're dangerous creatures." She responded. William shook his head, and pointed down at the cockatrice trying to get away from her. " Make a chicken coop from Granite and steel then! I'll even help you out if ya want." Applejack nodded.

"Yeah, you're a force to be reckoned with, but you can only be one place at a time. Same goes for the rest of us." William threw his hands up in defeat.

"What are ya gonna do about it? Besides, I've got more pressing concerns." They listened intentively, stepping closer to hear what he had to say next. 

"I'm going to put in a front lawn and a garden to go with it. I've lived in this town for just over a year, and I still haven't put one in. I should have thought of it when I was renovating my house originally. But I didn't then. I intend to remedy that mistake. And no, I do not currently need your help. But I would be most grateful if you could point me in the direction of the nearest hardware and or garden supply store."  

"Good for you, sounds boring." Rainbow Dash sped off into the clouds. 

"I'd love to help William, but I've gotta finish pickin' the rest of my farms crop 'fore anything else. Sorry." Applejack trotted off towards Sweet Apple Acres. 

"Sure, why not." Crimson muttered begrudgingly. "I'm gonna go collapse somewhere." She flew off, leaving only Joey and William. They looked at one another.

"So..."

"Of course I'll help." Joey finally responded. William wiped his brow, and looked around. "Let's get going."


A good hour of rummaging around the local hardware store later, and William had all that he needed to add a modestly sized front lawn to his house. He already had the power tools, all that was needed was approximately 900 square feet, and an alicorn to help ferry from the garden supply outlet to his front porch. He now had both.


"What now?" Joey asked as the last pallet of grass sod fell out of his magical grasp and onto the cobble road below. 

"Now come the fun part! Jackhammer or C4? You pick."

"Err..." 

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" A squeaky voice called from behind them. It was the mayor, with a pair of stallions wearing reflective vests and hardhats in tow. 

"What now?"

"Why, you can't just go ripping up the street! It's not yours!" William folded his arms. 


"Oh really, do you want me to go inside and get the blueprint of the property line?" The stallions on either side of her raised their eyebrows.   "Yes, I would like that." William opened his front door and rummaged around in the kitchen until he found the original floor plans. And... Sure enough, they included the space in front of his house.

"Here. Take a look for yourself." The 3 ponies examined the sheets of paper with diligence. 


"The road is public property. I don't care if you claim that you own it or not-" William facepalmed, and pointed back down at the prints. "It's there! Clear as day!" William was beginning to lose his patience.

"But-"

" And don't give me that, 'Eminent Domain' bullshit when I just saved your sorry flank the other day from that magical epidemic! Or how about that cockatrice that I helped wrangle an hour and a half ago! Or, did you already forget? I've done more for this town in the year and a half that I've lived here then you have since you were elected! So be a good neighbor and a nice little pony and let me finish my front lawn!" He shouted, pointing in the direction of Town Hall.


The mayor's mouth was wide open. She furrowed her brow, and opened her mouth to reply. But, one of the construction stallions intervened.  


"Ma'am, he's right. You may not like it, but, he's in the legal green." William chuckled, and stuffed his hands back in his pockets. "Nice one." The stallion grinned and nodded at him. 


"Fine. I suppose it's fair." The mayor snarled

"By the way... I forgive you for trying to murder me with a chair." He added. She and the stallions trotted away without another word. And William sighed. "The tension there was so thick you could-" William drew a pocket knife and ran his gloved hand along the blade's fuller. 

"...Finished your sentence with an action." He slid the knife back into his pocket. Joey's ears sunk.


" Of course you did." William grinned. "I say both. Step back, I'll start riggin' the C4." His friend glanced around nervously. 

"You're serious?" He nodded, " Yes, yes I am. I'll blast out the big chunks, then I'll break up the rest with a jackhammer."

"Ok, I've got some things of my own to sort out. I'll be back to check it out when you're done though." William smiled, and tipped his hat. His freind turned to fly away, and William got back to ripping up the street. A few moments later, the cold phrase of; "CLEAR!" echoed down the street, followed by the sharp crack of 5 pounds of plastic explosive tearing up cobblestone and gravel.  William laughed like a maniac, and went to work breaking up the rest.

"So, how are you faring?" Joey asked his friend as he trotted up and examined the new lawn William had just put in. 

"Oh, I'm almost- Damnit!" William cursed, and stomped the freshly laid sod out in front of his home, facepalming as he did. 
"I forgot to run irrigation!"

"Which means?"

"I've got to tear this up and start over!" He sighed, and calmed himself and mumbled, "I need a break." Under his breath. 

Unbeknownst to him, Frosty Fields was watching this all from beneath the shadow of an oak tree. She cheerfully trotted off and out into the forest, then disappeared through a knot in a tree.


"What is it, my dear Frosty?" Grogar's voice resounded though the cavern as the quaint unicorn mare appeared in front of the table. She stared up at the glowing bell with an arched eyebrow.

"He's got gardening issues." There was a pause. The air in the room seemed to go still. 

" So let me see if I understand this correctly, he beats the emotional plague, but gets caught up with a garden?" He let out a thunderous laugh which made the stalactites on the cave roof shake. 

"Well, that is no matter. We now know that we must strike him a little closer to home. Actually, scratch that, we must undermine him at a distance. Scratch that, we must focus on remaking my physical form!"

"All of this has given me a headache and a hornache, I'm gonna go and crash somewhere for a while, if you don't mind." Frosty off and out of sight, leaving Grogar's bell to scheme in the dark alone.
> May We All
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Joey, I need a damn break." 

"From what?"

"From all of this. It's one disaster after another, one day I'm gunning down manticores on main street, and the next I have to contend with a rabid cockatrice or magical plague. I find joy in all of this, but it just wears me down. I'm sick and tired of it. I require a break!" William exclaimed, his friend took a step back and chuckled, scuffling his muzzle as he did.  

"Oh really, you 'require' one?"

"Yeah! Hey, what the hell do you do all day? Oh, that's right, you tend to your garden and play hoofball in the park field outside of town! You offer out free hugs and help Spike sort books in the castle library!"  The alicorn's eyes grew wider. 

"I found something that I enjoy. That's all, before I was sucked into a portal in the center of my living room and turned into a pony I had nothing going on in life! I was still looking for a job, and then, when I came here, I liked it better than Earth. I get to have fun, laugh, and go to bed every night to the sound of chirping crickets and a bright Equestrian moon with no light pollution in sight. I don't even worry if I accidentally forget to lock my doors! I know my all my neighbors, and, as a bonus, I never have to buy any new clothes! Or really any, for that matter." He looked around, a smirk rolled across his face as he furrowed his wings and set them to rest on his sides. 

William took his hat off and wiped his brow, sidestepping a carriage full of potatoes as he did. He pointed off towards the Everfree forest. Then the opposite direction towards Mount Canterhorn. 


"At the risk of getting blowing to cinders by one of the many of the eldritch creatures that reside here. Monster attacks in town used to be an almost weekly occurrence!"

Joey gestured towards William's sidearm. "Earth was far more dangerous." His friend nodded. But William continued, "Yeah, but at least you know what you're getting there. Terrorists, crackheads, murderers, thieves, scammers. Here, you can never tell."  

"Equestria's got all those things as well."

"True, but they're tamer." William pointed out, resting his hands on his belt. " Look bud, this ain't up for discussion. I love Equestria as much, if not more than you do."


"You are probably right, however... With your friends you must not fight." Both William and Joey turned to face the zebra mare, who drew off her cloak and smiled back. 

"Zecora." She nodded at the mention of her name.


"Yes William, have been right here listening for quite a while, resting my hooves, for, as Applejack say's, I have had to walk a country mile." He smiled, " You're a rare sight around town. What are you here for?"

" Believe it or not, I have been invited to teach poetry at Twilight Sparkle's school, and I must admit, it is quite a relive. I have gone night insane from spending so much time alone, for a while I believed that I had accidentally hit myself in the head with a stone." 

"Hmph." William crossed his arms and pointed at her with his left hand. " I've got some old copies of Shakespeare's plays and Dante's Inferno, if you'd like to read 'em. Although, they're a bit headache inducing if you aren't used to the style of literature."

"Thank you for you offer William, you are always a great service when it comes to filling my mental coffers." William arched an eyebrow. 

"That's an... Interesting way to put it, I'll see if I can dig them out of storage later." She responded with an affirmative nod, then galloped off. William put hand on the butt of his sidearm.

"I still don't see what's wrong." Joey added. William turned and glared at his friend. "But to clarify-"


"Just a few months ago we went on that camping trip together." William facepalmed and groaned. "That wasn't a vacation, that was work!" 

"Care to make a disticnction?"

"Wha- ugh... It's impossible to argue with you." His friend smirked, and pawed the ground with his forehooves. His expression grew sympathetic. 

"Where were you thinking of going?" William fixed his cap, and motioned for his friend to start walking with him. 

"I'd normally say the mountains, or the woods. I've got both of 'em right here. Temperate rain forests? Humboldt back on earth? Too risky." The Quiet Kid pondered over his options as the pair walked out of town and headed towards the lake on the northeastern side of town. He looked out across the murky blue water. He turned his head, and spotted an old, grouchy stallion with a beret and a fishing pool. 

"Catch anything?" He was met with a grumbling. "Nope, fish are all down toward the bottom this time of year." William turned back to Joey, he smirked. 

"Joey, I think I know where we're gonna go." 

"Boo!" A bright pink earthpony mare sprang out of the water and bounced towards the old stallion with a fish in her mouth.

"We should probably..." Joey had already broken into a gallop. William followed close behind at a close jog. 

"Nope! Not dealing with that!"



"You're actually proposing that we take an aquatic vacation? Anywhere local is too cold." The alicorn asked inquisitively as William waited for his coffee to finish brewing in his home kitchen. He leaned up against his countertop and wagged a finger at his friend.

"Good question."

"Are you going to answer it?" William reached into the back pocket of his jeans, and, after a moment, pulled out a. He unfolded  it, and passed it over and into his friend's magical embrace.

"Moonlight Palms Seaside Cottages?" He passed it back to William, who nodded and set it on the counter as he went to pour the contents of the coffee mug into 2 separate cups. "Yep. Saw that nailed to the front door of town hall, and I thought to take it. Here, I hope you like medium roast."

"Of course." Joey responded. Taking the glass in his forehooves. William sat down next to him and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. 

"How far is it?"

"Is that really a problem? You can just teleport." Joey shot him a scowl, and set the cup down to point at his horn.

"I'm not the best at it! Or have you already forgotten me dropping you through a roof and into somepony's front room?"

"You also saved me from my own tactical nuke. Granted I would have saved my self. But you intervened first." The alicorn ruffled his wings. 

"Well, where does it say it is?"

"Apparently, get this- It's out past the Hayseed Swamps in the far southeast. Down by Seaquestria." Joey shirked at it's mention.

"What? What is it?" William asked as he took a gulp of his drink. breathing in through his nose as the hot drink rolled though his mouth and down his throat.

"I... I can't swim." The alicorn hung his head in shame and sighed.


William stared at him with a confused expression. "You can't be serious. I saw-"

"That was a year ago! And I had gone though that merpony transformation thing. That's different!" William set his cup back on the table and set his hand on his friends shoulder.

"Well then, now's a great time to learn."

"I tried to a few months ago during the summer, I can barely get in knee deep."

"Why couldn't we just go skiing? I thought you loved the cold." William shook his head. " I do, but I need to get away from this town for a while." The expression on his friends face told it all. "Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure bud. Don't worry about it, you don't even have to get your hooves wet if you don't want to. There's plenty of other stuff to do there." This statement resulted in a smile from the alicorn, who put his wing around his friend.

"Oh alright, it's supposed to be fun, right?"

"Yeah. And why are you making such a big deal about this? It's not like you're changing species. We're literally going on vacation. There's no need to freak out."

"So... You'll teach me?"

"Of course! Now go and get your things packed. We'll leave in the morning. Just... Be sure to keep it a secret. I don't want any of our neighbors finding out. Especially you know who." He nodded with understanding, and galloped out the front door. William stood on his front porch and watched him go.

"Heh, doesn't know how to swim. Oh boy is he missing out."

After a night spend pondering. William got up and went through his routine as usual, then, after making sure his house was locked up, walked out onto his back porch, and was greeted by his friend and a pair of saddlebags.

"Is that a-" His friend chuckled. William looked down at his shirt.

"Yes, I like Hawaiian shirts. Red and white, palm trees, Hibiscus flowers, and AR's." His friend smiled. " Of course, but aren't you just the slightest bit cold?" 

"Not on the Island I won't be, from what I can tell, the climate'll be nigh identical to Kauai. Hope ya like humidity and 80 degree rain."

"Going somewhere?" The two of them froze, and looked over at Crimson Starwatcher. 

"Oh, well..."

"We're going on vacation." Joey blurted out suddenly. William scowled at him, and then turned back Crimson. Who smirked back at him. 

"Heh, sound's fun. Wait a moment, I'll some stuff, and then we can go." She bounded off towards her house. William looked back at Joey and checked his watch. 

"We should really get going-" 

"Going where?" 

"Gah!" William jumped, and looked behind him, he was greeted by the batish face of Nightshine, looking down at him from her perch on his roof. She swung herself upside down and looked him in the eyes.

"The beach. Some nice seaside cottages on a tropical island." The alicorn responded without question. The batpony mare's eyes brightened. 

"Oh wonderful. I love the ocean!" William scratched his head. "Derpy better not come reeling around that corner next." 

"Oh don't worry, she's too busy chasing a butterfly to ask." She furrowed her brow and added, "I wish I was joking."

"Understandable. I'd hate to have to look after two ponies that didn't know how to swim." He rubbed his brow. "You do know how to swim, right?" 

"Oh of course!" Crimson replied, setting herself down by Joey. William glanced over at her bags, two large shapes stuck out of the rear that were definitely not her wings.

"What's in the bag?" 

"You'll find out." She smiled, and whisked her tail around. Nightlight set herself down next to William. 

"Is is private?"

"No."

"Is it-"

Nightshine cut the both of them off with a comment of,"I guess I'll be going with you 3. I'm out on leave anyway. My subordinates can take care of the barracks while I'm gone. I trust the rest of them enough to not turn Canterlot into a crater." William gave her a thumbs up. "So... Anything you've gotta grab before we leave?" She shook her head. 

"Nope. I'll be fine like this, although now that I think about it... Nope!" 

"Alright Joey, take it away!"


"You said it's like Kauai, I say it'll look more like-" The group disappeared in a flash of blue light. 

Meanwhile...

"Sir, nothing we've done so far has worked." Grogar's bell floated in silence over it's ornamental map table. Frosty Fields had had nothing but time since the failed attempt at getting rid of the Quiet Kid.

"We cannot get to him through anger, or emotions. Nor can we attack him directly, so... Let us make it personal."

"But how?" A wave of aquamarine light shot out from the bell. " By bringing in a few new players." 

"What do you mean by that?" Frosty asked the bell.

"He'll know. Oh, he'll know..." Another bombing laugh filled the cavern. The unicorn mare looked at her master in confusion.


"-The Virgin Islands!" William, Joey, Crimson, and Nightshine appeared on an open grassy expanse, surrounded by coconut trees and  low hanging mangrove trees. Lining the knoll at intervals of around 20 or so yards each was a mixture of bright cottages. 

"Hey, guys." Crimson murmured. She tugged at William's pant leg. He turned, and gazed out at the shinning blue expanse of open and the white sand beach about 150 yards from where they stood. 


"Last one in the water's a-" William held her back."

"Hol' up. We've gotta check in first. He set his hand on his sidearm, and pointed over at the check in cabin. It was painted white with a large arched roof. Off to it's right side, he spotted an open air restaurant. To the right, stood a flagpole with the Equestrian flag flapping in the wind. He sighed and breathed in the salty sea breeze. 

"Wow, it's surprisingly calm here. Usually, there'd-" He winced at the sound of a foal crying in the distance, and a pack of dogs barking.

"Nevermind, c'mon. Let's go." Crimson turned around a sulked back along.


"Hello there, welcome to Moonlight Palms. How may I-Oh, an alicorn." The unicorn stallion working at the front desk paused to lower his shades. 

"And... Hey, haven't I seen you in the papers before?" William groaned. "We're here to check in. The unicorn peered over at Crimson and Nightlight. Then looked back at a clipboard and flipped though a few pages. 

"What would you be under?" William set his hand on the countertop. "We'll be paying up front." 

"No need sir, they're with me." The four of them turned to find Luna trotting through the front doors.

"This is where you've been while Twilight's busy making a chaotic mess of things back on the mainland?" William crossed his arms. 

"Err... Thank you Princess." Joey bowed his head, William pulled him back up, and Luna laughed. "It's just Luna for now." The stallion at the counter raised his hoof.

"Beachside, or up towards the mango trees?"

"Mangos?" Nightshine's voice filled with sudden enthusiasm, which she quickly shook off. Resuming her regular alert pose. 

"Beachside for all of us."

"Will that be one cabin for all of you, or separate ones?" The four looked around at one another. "I'd be fine sharing a bed with any of you." Crimson murmured. Joey raised an eyebrow, and William frowned. 

"One cabin, separate beds for all of us." The stallion twirled his pen in the air with his magic, then began writing on the paper. 

"Our cabins only go up too three beds each." William shook his head. "Nope. Not not happening. And I don't think any of us would be too keen on sleeping on a couch." Crimson, Nightshine, and Joey all shook their heads.

"Alright, so two separate cabins, one bed for each of you?" William nodded. "Cabin's A and B. Right down the knoll and to the right. Under the bananas trees, the two closest to the water.

"Alrighty." 

"First one-" William stopped Crimson again. "We've gotta go and get set up first."

"If you need anything, just come to the front desk. I'm here half the time, the other half you'll be asking for a green pegasus mare named 'Riri'. She'll be happy to help you out." He gave them two sets of labeled keys, then went back to reading his surf magazine. 

"I've got to be going, I promised a some ponies down by the beach I'd play a game of Volley ball with them!" Luna turned and trotted off towards the far side of the grounds. 

"C'mon." 

"The humidity here is exhausting!" Nightshine complained. William tossed her a grey baseball cap. "There. Now you don't have to go on and buy one!" She smiled and winked back.

"Well? Let's see what we're working with."

About a minute of walking later, and the group stood in between their two cottages. William tapped the grass with his boot. 

"Alight y'all, I will be in cabin B. Anyone wanna make any picks?" Crimson leaned in and smirked.

"I'll go with William." He shook his head. "Nope, not gonna happen. I like privacy, and you have less of a notion of personal space than Pinkie Pie."

Joey grinned awkwardly." I'll stay with you, Crimson." She turned and looked over at the alicorn, looking him over from horn to tail. Her smirk grew wider, and she rustled her wings and nudged his hoof away with a paw. "Haha! Wonderful!" Joey rolled his eyes, and looked back at the wolf-pony.

"Great! You two'll be in cabin A, that leaves-"

"You and me." Nightshine sounded a little annoyed at the prospect. But seemed to accept it. "At least it's someone I know." William waved her over, unlocking the front door and stepping aside to let her go first. "Take your hat off and wipe your hooves. 

"And if I don't?" She sneered. "William glanced at her. "Then I'll make that hat disappear right off your head." She grinned and mumbled, " I was going to take it off anyhow." He nodded, and did the same with his mossy oak hat. Directly off to his side was the dinning table, ahead of him was the kitchen, pantry, and the entryway into the living room, a screen door took up the side outlooking the ocean, giving them a wonderful view of the beach from their front porch. Taking another right from there led to the master bedroom. With one large king sized bed, a bathroom with 2 doors that led into the second bedroom.

"Who'll take the big bed?" William raised his hand. Nightshine scowled, and took a step towards it, rearing up like she was getting ready to pounce.

"Race ya to it!" William jumped and rolled onto it, sprawling out and staring up at the ceiling.

"First." Nightshine mused, flapping her wings as she reclined back next to William.

"Really, what evidence do you have that you got here first?" She sighed. "Coin flip?"

"Nope. I don't gamble. Especially when it comes to beds."

"Then fight me." She replied, baring her fangs in a playful manner. "Trust me, you don't want me in the same bed as you. I'll be biting the sheets all night long." William chuckled.

"Who said anything about staying in the same bed?" He sat up and swung his legs over the side. Nightshine rolled out of bed and onto all fours.

"C'mon, we can deal with this later. Let's go down to the water. I told Joey I'd teach him to swim as a pony." 

"He can't now." Nightshine asked with a cock of her head.

"Nope, apparently not." 

"Well then, It's about time he learned. And I've got a few idea's on how I can help him."
> Friends with Benefits: Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William and Nightshine sat on the porch of the bar right at the end of the grassy knoll that led up to the check in building. William wore a wetsuit with a single red stripe running down the side from his wrist to his ankles, alongside a set of neoprene boots and his usual baseball cap. He rested his head on a fist and looked over at Joey and Crimson's cabin. 

"Settling in nicely?" He asked his friend as he bounded ahead of a slightly irritated wolf pony.

"Yep. Thank goodness there's a partition curtain in the bedroom!" He glared over at Crimson Starwatcher. Who smirked back and looked around at the group, then back out at the ocean. William noticed something odd about her.

"Are those... Fins?" Pointing to the pair of long plastic and rubber blades which she carried in a drawstring bag on her back.

"Yep, and a snorkel. Why do you ask?" William scratched his forehead.

"Cool-I didn't peg you a freediver." 

"Really?" She asked, shirking back and raising her eyebrow. "You never saw me out by the lake while you were walking around town at 11 in the afternoon?" He stood up and shrugged. 

"Nope, never did. Quick question. Couldn't your style of swimming technically be considered doggy paddling?" Joey and Nightshine both chuckled at this remark. Crimson's expression remained the same, she turned and began walking towards the beach.

"I suppose. But say that again and I'll-"

"You'll what?" William asked, setting his hand on his dive belt and patting the grip of a suppressed Glock 43. 

"Why are you going swimming with a gun?" Joey asked him. "You should know that I don't like being unarmed out in public. We've been over this." There was a brief pause as the remaining three began to follow behind Crimson. "I find it both unsafe and uncomfortable." 

"My thoughts on sleeping in the same room as a wolf pony exactly." Joey grumbled, lowering his head. Crimson glanced back and smiled at him.

"I thought I already told you that I don't bite. At least, I won't bite any of you." William dead panned over at her as the group stepped out onto the sand. 

"Just cut it out. I don't wanna hear any more 'bout your infatuation and inability to take a nap in the same room with one another. Look, it's either that or the couch. And I've had about enough of that to last me a lifetime." Crimson drew her snorkel and mask past her ears and mane and onto her face. Joey trotted straight up to the wake and swirled a hoof in the water, then looked back at William. 

"Hold on, Nightshine, Joey." He tossed the ponies a pair of goggles. "Trust me, it'll make everything much more tolerable. He pulled a neoprene hood over his head alongside his own snorkel.

"Ok... But you're presuming that I'd even like to go more than knee deep.

"Trust me bud, there's nothing to worry about. Look, if you're really that worried-" 

"I can stay on shore?"

"Nope! I refuse to live with the fact that my friend can't swim." Nightshine smiled at him. " It's alright Joey. It really isn't that hard. 

"Here, take these." William tossed him a bag, contained within it was a short sleeve wetsuit with blue stripes, alongside 2 sets of short full hoof traveling fins and a mask. The alicorn eyed the pile of items with suspicion. 


"You want me to wear... That?" William nodded. "Trust me, it'll make swimming much easier." Joey shrugged and sat down on the sand, then began to awkwardly roll around in an effort to get his wetsuit on. 

"Here, I'll help you." Nightshine said, she trotted over and helped the alicorn get his tail and wings through the various cutouts, then zip it up. The fins he was able to get into on his own, although he nearly tripped over himself when he tried to walk in them.

Joey ruffled his wings, and kicked out with one of his hind legs as a sign of discomfort. "This is ridiculous. Do I really need all this stuff?" 

William nodded. "Aye, you do. It may seem odd to you. But once you'll get in the water wearing those you'll be able to swim as fast and graceful as you are slow and awkward now." This statement seemed to brighten his friends mood.

"In that case, I'll take a pair as well." William tossed her a set of fins. She pulled them on with some effort. "Hey... Where's yours?" William chuckled, and a pair of black and grey split blade open heeled dive fins appeared in his right hand.  

"Same as Crimson. Ours are too long to put on while out of the water. If you think it's hard to walk around in yours. Just try doing the same in 20 inch long freediving fins!" 

"It'd be fun to watch though." Nightshine exclaimed. Crimson shot her a deathly glare. "Really, then why don't you go on and pay me the 150 Bit replacement fund... Lieutenant?" Nightshine scoffed. "In your dreams, wolfy."

"What was that!?" Crimson exclaimed, pointing at the batpony with a paw. William sighed. 


"Alright, everyone in the water." Crimson extracted her fins from their bag, tossing it aside, she wadded out until the water was just up  to her knees. She whipped around onto her back and, using her outstretched wings for support, pulled he fins on over her hind legs. She looked around at the others, then reared up and dolphin dove beneath the surface. 

"Where'd she go?" Joey asked, 10 seconds passed, then 10 more. 

"Boo!" The wolf pony resurfaced behind them, shooting up into the air with a gust from her wings before diving back down, kicking her fins up in the air as she hit the water again and dousing Joey and William in the process. 

"Come on!" Crimson insisted, swimming circles in front of them. "Try and catch me!" 

"Oh, it's on!" Nightshine responded, crossing her front legs and gradually pushing off. until her hooves couldn't touch the bottom. 

"Y'all have fun." William called out, watching as Nightshine gradually acclimated to her new environment.  William pulled on his own fins, kicking them just above the water level to insure they were on properly. Then, to Joey's surprise, he donned a pair of webbed gloves. 

"Alright, let's start out simple. Backstroke. Just mimic me." The alicorn fastened his goggles and rolled onto his back just like his friend. He rolled all four legs back and then kicked off in one go, sending him darting through the water for a short ways.  William.

"Good job, again! Think of it like flying. Angle your body with your fins and use them to turn. His friend attempted it again, and again, and again. Each time, William swam after him, coming up right beside him and occasionally grabbing him under his forelegs to keep him afloat. 

"Now, I'd like to to try and use those fins the way they were meant to be used. Stay on your back, it's is called a scissor kick. He gave the alicorn a quick demonstration, who beamed back in understanding and replicated the movement. Straightening his legs and just moving the ends of his hooves so that the fin blades caught the water just right. 


"Hah! It works!" He rolled back over onto his stomach and paddled over to William. Who grinned at his friend. " Told ya, anyone learn to swim. You just need fins and a good friend.

"High fin!!" The alicorn exclaimed. William thought about it for a moment, then brought his webbed glove up to meet his friends fin. 

"I see you're enjoying yourself."

"I guess so. You were right man." William kicked away, wanna keep going. The alicorn smiled, and arched his wings downward.

"Sure. Can we be back by lunchtime though? I'm already pretty hungry. I had a very light breakfast." William nodded, and gestured for him to swim closer.

"Of course, we just need to find Crimson and Nightshine." Joey looked down, felt something brush by his leg, the face of Crimson Starwatcher broke the surface less than and inch from his face. 

"Gah!" He lost his balance and fell backwards. William dove down beneath the surface and pulled his friend back up. The alicorn coughed, and shook his mane.

"I wasn't ready! Why'd you do that!?" Crimson smiled awkwardly. "Opps." She brought her paws up, took a deep breath, and disappeared below the waves, her fins kicking up right in his face as she swam off.

"Is this normal?"

"Oh, you've got no idea." He responded calmly as he treaded water beside his friend. William glanced down, what he saw put a smile on his face, about 15 feet down, a sandy reef stretched out as far as the eye could see." Hey, follow me."

"What? Where?" William sighed, and disappeared below the water level. Joey lit his horn, and disappeared in a flash of light. 


"Where is he?" William thought to himself, glancing around. All of a sudden, the was a burst of light above him, and his friend appeared right next to him. The alicorn looked surprised.

"Mph!" He called out. Quickly shutting his mouth and regretting his decision. William grabbed him and pulled him to the surface. 

"I shouldn't have to tell you this, but you can't breath underwater." He laughed, his friend coughed and sputtered. 

Joey rolled back and coughed some more, pulling up goggles up from his eyes, "Sorry, I didn't realize that." His voice was full of sarcasm.

"The trick is to hyperventilate at the surface, then, once all the Co2 is gone from your lungs, take some deeper breaths for about 15 seconds. Then take one more breath just before you dive. Make certain your whole body is below the water before you go down so you don't waste energy." Joey nodded in agreement. William kicked away from him for a ways.


"But, most importantly, you've gotta get your body to relax. You aren't meant to be in an aquatic environment. But if you can convince your body that everything is alright, then you'll be less likely to panic from a lack of air down there and end up in trouble. Stay calm, just use your hind legs to kick around and your forelegs to maneuver. This is supposed to be fun after all, not stressful." His friend smiled. " Alright, I'll try it." 


"Great, I'll be waiting here for you. I'm going to see if I can't find our other companions." William ducked down and began to look around, he swam forward for about 20 feet, right past a buoy then looked around a coral outcropping and spotted Crimson, sitting on the ocean's sand floor, unmoving. 

"What is she doing?" He swam closer, and tapped her on the wing. 

She turned and glanced at him, then shook her head and bounded off the ocean floor and swam for the surface. William heard something behind, and turned to find Joey waving at him. William pointed towards the surface, and thegroup broke the waves together.

"What was that about?" William asked Crimson. "I'll do what I please underwater. It's not like I'm-" She paused for a moment, and glanced around. "Where's the bat pony?" William looked around, then straight down, and finally back at Crimson. "I don't know." A wave came up and doused him again. A shadow appeared in the water, the three looked up to find Nightshine, scanning the water with suspicion. 

"What are you looking for!?" Joey called up to her.

"I saw something while I was over there!" She called back.

"Was it a weird fish?" She shook her head. "Nope, I barely got a look at it. It brushed right by me, and disappeared into a crack in a rock. It was definitely not a fish." William scratched his head.

"We're too close to shore for any large predator's or sea monsters." Joey's eyes widened when he heard Nightshine's description. 

"Do you think it could've been a merpony?" She shrugged, and lowered herself back into the water.

"I don't know." Nightshine responded, folding her wings and paddling over to William and Joey. " I've never seen one in person before."

"Shinny rough skin instead of fur, fins, hind legs compacted into a fish tail... Gills?" They both asked. The bat pony shook her head. "Nope, never."

"Well, what do you guys wanna do? Merponies are usually pretty shy and harmless. Do you wanna stay in the water, or go back to shore?"

Joey pressed the conversation, "I'm curious, let's stay here and find out if there's merit to Nightshine's claims."

"Alrighty then. Stay it is." William continued as storm clouds began to form overhead. "This weather doesn't make any sense. Aren't we still in Equestria?"

"If memory serves me, the archipelago that this island is situated in is Equestrian territory, yes. But the local pegasi opted a long time ago to not follow the same weather patterns as the mainland. They wanted to keep it natural, the way it was before ponies came here." Crimson touted, crossing her paws and smirking at the other 3. 

"How'd you-"

"Did you check the back of the pamplet?" Crimson asked William.

"What pamphlet?

" Crimson sighed. " The one's they were hoofing out at the front office? Did you miss 'em?" 

"Evidentially I did." William paused. " Well, everyone follow me, we're gonna see if we can flush out this... Whatever it is." The rest of them nodded in agreement, Joey seemed particularly eager.

"What? You've got a fondness for kirins, I've got a fondness for merponies." William chuckled. "That's fine by me, now that I think about it, I might have a present for you once we get back to shore." Joey raised an eyebrow under his mask.

"What is is?" 

"I'll tell you once we get back to shore." The alicorn raised an eyebrow. "Ok, now you've intrigued me." William laughed.

"Ok, go on and roll over on your back." His friend hesitates, but then did as William had told him. William swam over to his friend and handed him something. Joey looked down at the weird  amalgamation rubber blue rubber and black polymer with a degree of confusion. 

"What is it?"

"This," William held it up for the others to see."Is a monofin." Joey looked at the thing William was offering him once more.

"It looks like a mermaid tail."

"That's what it's meant to mimic. I've never tried using one before. But it's yours if you'd like." He passed it over to the stallion, who continued to gaze at the item in amazement. 

"This is..."

"You use it just the same way you would a real one." Joey kicked off his hind fins, and replaced them with the pseudo tail. He stayed on his back and flapped it once. 

"Yes?" William asked the alicorn stallion.  

"Awesome!" A smile crept across his face, he dove below the water, then reappeared by William, looked over in amusement. 

"I'm glad you like it bud. I'm glad ya like it." His friend swam closer and grinned, wrapping a wing around William. "I was thinking of a Birthday present to get you. And the thought never even crossed my mind that you'd like something like this. You're welcome." He patted his friend on the back, and kicked away from him.

"Keep in mind what I said before, don't panic underwater." Joey nodded in understanding. "Of course." The four of them dove beneath the surface.  William made a circle with his index finger and pointed deeper into the reef. The others turned and swam in the direction he had pointed in.

"Now... Where, and what are you?" William resurfaced for another breath, and dove back down. He could see the rest of the group about 10 yards ahead of him, poking around the bottom. All of a sudden, he felt something brush by his face. 

"Just a fish, just a fish. But what are they swimming away from?" He spun around, only to find the reef as it was before.

"Where is this thing?" William resurfaced again, and scanned the waves, then dove back down. He rounded the reef, and spotted his friend. Fighting with... Wait, what?

"Is supposed to be a... Shark pony?" William set his hand on his Glock and swam over to get a closer look. The creature grabbed his friend and wrestled him to the bottom, nipping at his fins and wings. It was a sleek grey, with gills running along it's neck, a mouth full of teeth, and eyes full of anger. It turned momentarily to glance and him, then went back to it's quarry.

His friend. William resurfaced again, and dove back down. He watched as the shark tore off the alicorn's mask. Whose eyes were wallowed and full of terror, he struggled. But the shark didn't let go. Instead trying to tear his fore fins with it's teeth. 

William raised his sidearm, and fired one round, which zipped a clean, bloody hole through the shark's dorsal fin. It roared in pain and let go of Joey, who desperately swam for the surface, the creature turned it's murderous gaze towards William.

"Oh no you don't!"


He thought to himself, holstering his sidearm and drawing his dive knife instead. The 2 creatures swam for one another. The shark tried to reach over his back and bite him in the neck, but William was quicker. He thrust the butt end of his weapon against it's right hoof gills, and, with the help of Crimson and Nightshine, gained control over the creature and pulled it to the surface. It grunted in protest and pulled them all down with it, swimming deeper into the reef and out towards open water. William had to put a stop to it before it could get away from him. And so, he did the only logical thing he thought possible.

He pulled on the shark pony's tail with a fin, and sent them both careening into a sand bed. The creature tried frantically to dive back down and get him off, but William held on, knocking the both of them out of the water.

"Don't you dare go!" William cried, holding the creature down.

"You owe us an damn explanation." 

The creature remained silent, still not submitting to William's grapple.
> Friends With Benefits: Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Speak like your life depends on it! Because it does!" William continued to tangle with the strange creature. But still, it didn't let up. It's ears stayed perked up, and it growled and bared its fangs.

"William! Let go! You're hurting him!" The Quiet Kid glanced behind him, to find his 3 companions struggling their way out of the water. Joey stepped ahead of the other two, but was slowed down by his fins. He remained just at the water's edge. William's glance of concern turned to anger. 

"He tried to kill you! Twilight may be fine letting stuff like that slide, but I take death threats to my friends just a little more seriously than your average pony!" He waved his sidearm around. The shark-pony thing continued baring his fangs. But, this time, he was answered with a growl. Not as pronounced as the one he had gotten when he had first pulled the thing out of the water, this one was more reminiscent of what a cat would make if you tried to get too close to it too quickly. 

"Can you even talk in the first place?" William heard a groan behind him.

"He's not going to talk to you, I can tell already." Crimson Starwatcher grumbled, removing her fins and stepping out of the water, she walked right up past William and looked the creature right in the eyes. 

"If you won't talk with my... 'Associate' here, how about me." The wolfpony shrank back her lower muzzle, exposing her own fangs." Let's talk, predator to predator. " This actually resulted in an entirely different response then what she had been expecting. The shark stopped growling, and started... Giggling?

"What is-"

"Oh, pardon me Mrs. 'I own everything'. But you're in my reef! What are you doing here!? Oh, just wait until the rest of my pack gets here!" William's eyes widened.

"So you can talk! Huzah!" He cautiously moved the gun barrel away from the creature's head."

"What are you, some kind of surface dweller?" The sharkpony asked, his voice full of both contempt and humor as he spoke to William. Who grinned in amusement at the creature's statement. 

" Sweet Lady Liberty! Someone call up Aquaman! But in all seriousness, that was exactly what I expected you'd say!" He turned back to Joey and winked.

"You did tell me after we first met the Hippogryphs and seaponies that if we met any other sentient aquatic species here that they'd probably call us, 'surface dwellers'."

"There's nothing I can do about it." William admitted with sarcasm. "It's better than, 'piece of shit meddling tourist.' Right?" Joey thought for a moment. And then nodded in agreement.

"Absolutely." 

"So..." William turned back to the sharkpony. Who grimly stared back at him in return. 

"You've got my attention, what do you want?" He sneered, scuffling his muzzle to reveal his fangs. But, oddly enough, he still kept the tone of his voice down.


"What do you want me to say?" The sharkpony replied snarkily, his tail swaying from side to side. 


"Why did you attack my friend!? We were minding our own when you came up and tried to drown him!"

"That merpony!? Where is he!?" The creature resumed struggling, pushing and kicking with his hind legs, William adjusted himself, his ears slanted backwards.

"Joey, hold him down with your magic. I don't have time for this!" William holstered his sidearm as Joey leapt out of the water and onto the wet sand. Shaking himself dry, he ignited his horn, and a magical aura enveloped the sharkpony's front legs. The beings gaze instantly shifted from William to the alicorn standing on the sand a few feet away from him.

"You! Agh!!!" William's scowl turned to a grin as the sharkpony began to scream bloody murder at his friend. 

"You merpony's and you shapeshifting tricks! Agh! Why can't you just leave us alone!?" William's grin remained.

"Sorry to... Burst your bubble- But that's not a merpony, that's an alicorn. The thing he was wearing was called a monofin. It's designed to help you move through the water faster and more naturally than normal." All of a sudden, the sharkpony's eyes went wide. 

"I'm... I'm so sorry. You looked so much like one I thought-" William facepalmed, and stood up, the sharkpony remained where he was. The color drained from Joey's face.

"It's alright, it's alright you made a mistake." The alicorn trotted up and put a hoof on the sharkpony's rough skin.

"I was going to eat you!" Joey's eyes widened, and he backed away. The shark quickly changed his sentence to. " Or-or, I would have eaten you if you were a fish!" He laughed uncomfortably and crossed his forehooves. He began to shake uncontrollably.

"Umm.... listen, you're not going to kill me over this, right?" Crimson Skywatcher didn't look all that amused by that statement.

" Maybe not either of them-" William raised his hand, which was still encased in a webbed glove, making the whole scene look far more awkward than it otherwise would have. "We don't know how many other sharkpony's, or whatever else are out there. If we make him swim with us to shore, then that'll guarantee the safety of all of us that can't fly. He eyed his three companions, who all returned it with faces that ranged from indifference to worry.

"Ugh!" Crimson complained. " Can't you just summon a raft or something? These fins are expensive, and I'd rather not ruin them with shark blood. Although now that I think about it..." She smiled to herself. Nightshine meanwhile, facehoofed and shook her head in utter disapproval. 

"We can't obviously just kill him. And we can't let him back in the water either." The creatures face scrunched back into a scowl. 

"I said I was sorry! What more do you want from me!? My tail? My gills!? My head!?" The intrusive thought of Crimson Starwatcher mounting the sharkpony's stuffed head up in her front room and kissing it goodnight every single evening passed in and out of William's mind. But he judiciously kept his laughter suppressed.

"Well then, it's settled." William snapped his fingers, and a small rubber package appeared in his hands. He walked over to the water, until he was ankle deep, and gently set it down, he grabbed a cord on its side, and blew the inflation charge on the side, there was a puff of smoke, and William stepped away as it rapidly inflated into a raft big enough for the four of them, one not included.

Crimson, do us all a favor and fly back to shore, alright? Try and see if you can't find Luna. I've got some words to have with her. Actually no, never mind that. She's on vacation. And this doesn't concern her. But I'll find someone who does!" William looked back at the shark pony. He drew his gun again, and pointed at the boat.

"Nightshine, would you mind-" William didn't even have to finish his sentence, the shark pony simply stood up and shambled into the boat. 

"Well?" William asked. The shark pony remained silent through the boarding process. And didn't even open his mouth until they were over water.


"What are you going to do to me?" William arched an eyebrow, then laughed. He scrunched down and looked into the shark pony's eyes.

"Well, we ain't gonna hurt ya, if that's what you're implying." The sharkpony's pupils widened.

"There is no way you are telling the truth. Just moments ago I heard you-"

"It's called sarcasm. I'm surprised you of all species don't know what it means. I was not being serious, but simply joking with my friends." The creature turned his head to face Joey and Crimson once again. Who returned his blank and perplexed expression with awkward smiles. 

"Um... I have a question about you." 

"Go on."

"Have you ever been on land before? I mean, before William wrestled you out of the reef like something right out in a Greek myth." The shark raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about, but yes. I have been on land before, that very Island in fact. My pack brought me there when I was young. They wanted to show me that there was nothing up there-here worth staying for. But I was fascinated by the that those land corals."

"Trees?" Joey corrected. The shark quickly nodded. "Yes, trees. I could not simply go and live there, no. I like the sea oh so much more. And so I took up residence in this reef. There is a cave somewhere down there that serves as my house."

"What do you eat? Excluding the odd pony or human passerby, that is." William asked, shuffling his way up to the front to the raft while struggling to keep himself balanced.

"Fish. Mostly fish. And various types of seaweed." The creature responded, curling his tail and gritting his fangs. 


"Alright, here's a big one. What's your name?" Joey and William asked in unison. The shark shifted uncomfortably. 

" I haven't had anyone ask me that in a while... Sharkponies aren't exactly fond on names, I suppose mine would be... Greytail." 

"Well ain't that original." The Quiet Kid mumbled. " It is... Nice to meet you, Greytail." The creature cracked a smile, but remained silent. 


About a minute and a half of paddling latter, and their raft came to a stop on the sandbar just 10 feet from where the water met the golden white sand of the beach.

"Now, who do we have here?" A flash of blue light revealed the alicorn form of (former) Princess Luna. Wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt, and a pair of oversized sunglasses. 

"Hmm... Facinating." She murmured. William arched an eyebrow." Mornin' Luna. We stumbled across this, um... Sharkpony when he tried to drown Joey." Luna's expression grew stern, she walked around Joey, examining him, and then turned her attention to Greytail.  

"This is certainty not what I was expecting when I first came here. You would do well to find Fluttershy, she has experience in this sort of thing. I am not the pony to ask." 

"Alright, well..."  It was then Crimson Starwatcher walked up from behind them. Soaking wet and with a big grin spread across her face. The Quiet Kid turned to her.

"Where have you been?"

" Finding  another shark-" She paused, and bit her lip. All eyes were now on her. William sighed, and rested his hands on his dive belt and holster.

"You found another one? Oh well... I reckon this oughta wait until after lunch. I'll go wind up some Jimmy Buffet, and we'll see what we have in the way of cheeseburger makin' supplies!" He clasped his hands together, and began to walk off, replacing his dive gear with a grenade pattern Hawaiian shirt and a set of cargo pants. 


"Is he... Ok?" Greytail asked the others. Luna turned to the sharkpony with smug look on her face. "I've seen his dreams, you wouldn't believe it."

"I just spoke with him. And I can already empathize with you." The sharkpony replied. Nervously glancing about at the dozens of confused and terrified beachgoers. 

"We should get you out sight." Joey told him. 

"Indeed." Responded Luna, trotting up to Greytail. "Come, I'm sure you have many questions about the surface. Allow me to entertain them."
> Fins to the Left and Fins to the Right
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hm... Curious..." Fluttershy raised the shark ponies mane, and tail, and semi webbed hoof, and simply murmured the same phrase over and over again. To the point that even the weird hybrid pony she was examining was beginning to look at himself strangely.

"Ummm.... What are you looking for?" Fluttershy backed away and smiled at Greytail with her head lowered.

"Oh, it's nothing, it's just that I've never seen a pony like you. Umm... Forgive me, but, where do you live?" The Sharkpony grinned back with his toothy smile that made the yellow pegasus nervous to the point of almost quivering. Greytail rolled his eyes. 
"The ocean? It's that way? Big, blue thing? Cold, warm? Sandy bottom with assorted reefs?" He looked back and over at Joey, Lt. Nightshine, and Luna. 

"Why did you bring her here? Because I don't think she's the brightest scale on the fish." Joey giggled and smirked at William's new play on words, an act which drew in only confusion from the trio of ponies standing around him.

"Really? I'm the only one who thought that was funny? Seriously? That- Really?" William knocked on the door to the cottage, two knocks, followed by three in quick succession. Both alicorns in the room breathed out through their noses and opened the door for one very happy looking Quiet Kid.

"Hey guys, they make some awesome grilled Onion stacks over at the bar!" William paused, and peered over at Greytail. 

"How's it going?"

"Good...?" The sharkpony responded with an awkward pause. "What's an Onion?"

"Oh, it's a-" William held up his hand in an attempt to quiet Fluttershy." It's better consumed then explained." Luna raised an eyebrow, and shifted her forehooves on her couch. Which she had gleefully taken from Joey after a hard fought verbal argument. Relegating the other alicorn to sitting on the hardwood floor beside it.

"Ah, well?" William pressed Fluttershy, sitting down next to Luna, who begrudgingly moved over for the human. William grinned briskly and crossed his legs. 

"I've never seen anything like him. I've never even heard of a shark pony before. And the seaponies never mentioned it to me, or Twilight when we went to visit." William rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. 

"Pray tell, how is Twilight acclimating to her new throne?" William facepalmed. 

"Like she of all the six would know..." He thought to himself, tapping his foot. Fluttershy beamed with sudden joy.

"Oh, she's doing great, maybe just a few hiccups..." William buried his face in his gloved palms and asked himself, " Just a few? My friend tried to kill me just a little while ago? I believe it. That is completely and utterly believable." William rose from his seat. 

"Alright, since all the lot of you seem incapable of asking the real questions, let me ask one." He pointed down at Greytail. "How many more sharkponies are there out there, and if so, what do they want?" 

"I- You're serious?" Greytail awkwardly walked around in a circle until he had comfortably sat himself down, nudging his massive tail off to the side. " Well, it's hard to tell. Hundreds, thousands maybe?" William smiled.

"Let me guess, they reside in some magic underwater city. Please tell me you don't have an annoying little... You know, of a Queen that hates Surfacers?" The sharkpony shrugged. "I have no idea. It's been so long since I've been out in the deep ocean, I already told you the reef around this Island is my home. I live in an underwater cave just a quick swim away from shore. Oh I did, until all of you started bothering me." William shrugged. "Eh, the lady at the head of the resort should have warned us. But it's too late now, and besides, don't worry. You're in good hands... And hooves I suppose."

Luna glanced out the oceanward window. "If it would be possible, I would like to visit this city of yours."


"Are you sure?" Greytail asked her. "They aren't exactly friendly towards outsiders, especially Surfacers." William facepalmed. 

"Look, I don't care." He responded, setting his hands back in his pockets. "We're on vacation, the least we could do is make something fun and interesting out of it. The good kind of interesting, not Pinkie Pie interesting." Fluttershy looked at William strangely.

"Why not?" The Quiet Kid sighed again. "Look, Fluttershy. You haven't really made any progress of any sort since we called on you. Do you wanna head down to this aquatic city with us or not?"

"William- Will, hey, can I call you Will?" The sharkpony asked. William scowled at him, and quickly shook his head.

"Nope. Not a chance, what is it?"  Greytail sighed. "Even if I wanted to bring you down there, how'd you breath? You don't have gills, and-" William held up a webbed glove. 

"Trust me, I've got that covered. Don't worry." Joey's facial expression fell. "Ok..." He whispered to himself, staring ahead at William and Greytail, who stared back at him and nodded with varying levels of confusion.

"Alrighty then! Everyone good!?" William suddenly stood up and clasped his hands together, looking around the room once more.

"What do you mean?" Luna asked him. "We cannot make a journey to another kingdom based solely upon a decision made in an instant." William, not knowing what else to do, taped the floor with a boot and chuckled. 

"We've been friends near two years now. You've seen into my head! How- We're going! It'll be a fun add on to our vacation! Right bud?" He patted Joey on the back, who looked over at William and smiled awkwardly. 

"Everyone settled with the idea? Great." Luna almost facehoofed. 

"Fluttershy, you didn't answer my question." William insisted. " Do you wanna come with us or not?"

"Um... Thanks for the offer William, but I'm afraid I've got things to do back in Ponyville... With Twilight gone, some pony's got to help run the School of Friendship. Would you mind sending me back?"  Luna nodded. 

"Thanks' for the help." Joey told her. "It's always a joy to have you around." William grunted.

"Luna, mind taking her back outside and teleporting her back? I'm gonna get changed, and then we'll head on out." William motioned for the two mares to leave, and when they had left. turned towards Greytail, pausing to glance out the cabin window for a moment. 

"Well? Everyone out! Joey," He tossed his friend his wetsuit. "Suit up, I'll be out in a moment." His friend quickly nodded and left with the others, an awkward sharkpony in tow.

"Well, it's not like you weren't asking for it." The voice in his head told him. "You wanted excitement, and now you have it!" William chuckled. 

"Yeah, if only I knew what kind of exciting this would turn out to be.


After about 20 or so odd minutes of preparations and debate with his friends, William had finally managed to find a rowboat which him and his friends could take out to the, 'underwater city' that Greytail was talking about. There were still a few uncertainties here, namely it's depth from the surface, and the hostility or otherwise apathy of its residents to allow non-sharkponies within their walls. But William, being William, figured he'd figure all of that out once they were out at sea, and, if things went south. They still had Joey or Luna to teleport them away and out of a precarious situation in an instant. 

"You're sure you can recall where this place is?" William asked Greytail. "Because I'd rather not waste my time on the ocean if I can help it. I've got things back on shore I'd like to do, I heard there's a pretty cool zipline up in the mountains above the resort. " Joey turned and glanced over at William with concern. 

"I thought you hated ziplines?" Joey said with an arched eyebrow, readjusting his wings at William peered over the edge into the deep blue water below.


"Are you... Sure about this?" Crimson Starwatcher asked Greytail, perking up over his neck and almost looking him in the eyes. 

"I'm sure, I'm sure." Greytail insisted, pulling himself towards the boat with his webbed forehooves. 

"He better be." A slightly discontent William responded as he checked his scuba gear and modified hydrodynamic Kevlar helmet and helped Joey and Nightshine out with theirs. He recalled how to do it for himself with ease, but found it ever so slightly more difficult for the equine figures of his three companions. 


Out of a flash of blue light, Luna appeared above them and settled down on the already overcrowded boat. "He isn't lying, I can sense it." William rolled his eyes and smiled unenthusiastically at the alicorn. "What? Can you read minds during the day now as well?" Luna simply smiled, shook her head, and was about to leave when William insisted that she stay behind and guard the boat. 

"We still borrowed this thing, and I'd like it to come back in one piece." He afixed his helmet and mask to his face, and then helped out his friends with theirs, but when he shimmied over to help the other alicorn, he found his friend backing away into the corner of the boat with a nervous expression on his face. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to get in the water with him, must less hundreds like him." William heard a quiver in his friends voice, and set a webbed glove on his shoulder. 


"Are you sure? I went though all the trouble of gearing you guys up, I'd rather my effort not be wasted." He gestured a thumb back at the water. The alicorn simply shook his head, "I'm sure bud." William smiled at him, and then donned his mask. 

"Sounds like a case of thalassophobia, hey, don't worry yourself over it- right guys?" He turned to hear three splashes, followed by a rocking boat a moment later. 

"And... They're gone. I'll come up in about... 20 minutes, and see if you've changed your mind, ok?" William asked his friend, his voice muffled by the respirator. Joey nodded, and patted his friend on the top of his helmet with an outstretched wing. Resulting in a rough hug from the waterproofed Quiet Kid. Who tapped his fins against the wooden hull of the boat, nodded and waved to Luna and Joey, and then pushed himself off and into the crystalline water below.

Splash!

William dove below the surface, looking down at the deep blue tinted darkness below. He glanced around to find himself face to face with Crimson Starwatcher, who tapped him on the shoulder, and then pointed down. Greytail swam up to him. 

"It's down there!" William froze for a moment. "How is your voice so clear!!?" Greytail shrugged, and pointed to his throat.
"What!?" He shouted, his voice muddled by his mask and the salt water. 

"Magic!" Greytail replied as he swam circles around William, gazing curiously at his equipment. Crimson Starwatcher spun around   to greet Nightshine, who furrowed and squinted her eyes beneath her mask. "I can see why you like this! It's awesome!" She called out enthusiastically, being barely audible to William.  Both the wolf pony and bat pony had taken to using their wings like giant paddles, making it hard for William to keep up as the descended deeper, and the water around them got darker. 


"Great, now I'm almost hopping Joey stay's behind!" He thought to himself. "If it's this deep, I wouldn't want him trying to dive down and getting lost in the process." William tapped his helmet mounted Flashlight, illuminating his friends ahead of him, who noticed the ray of light and turned back to wave to him. Nightshine gestured a fin towards her eyes, and then pointed downwards at a roughly 60 degree angle. William checked his depth gauge, with read exactly 110 feet, deeper than he had ever gone on any other excursion. He was wondering how his friends were holding up to the pressure.

"It's down there!" Greytails voice carried itself through the water. William waved at the sharkpony. 

"Where!?" He shouted back as loudly as he could. 

"It's right there!" Greytail swam up to William and tapped him on the shoulder with his dorsal fin, he pointed down with a hoof towards a large, black mass below them. It took him a while to realize that what he was looking at, was a massive stone spire. A massive stone spire which began to shimmer with blue light. Blue light, which cast an eerie glow over dozens of forms of creatures. Creatures, which William realized were none other than sharkponies, clad in grey and dull green armor and brandishing teeth and tridents. 


"Well, it looks like we found it!"
> An Aquatic Aphorism
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We found it." William repeated to himself. "We... Found it, crap!" 

"Everyone back behind me!" Crimson Starwatcher and Nighshine either didn't hear him, or were too preoccupied with the dozens of sharkponies with spears and tridents. He grabbed them both by their wetsuit collars and yanked them backwards. Greytail uncomfortably swam back and forth, trying to conceal his three companions.

"Damnit Grey! Care to explain the welcome party?" The sharkpony looked back at the confused William, and then turned back to greet the approaching aquatic equines.

"What do they want?" Nightshine shouted, her voice muffled by both her respirator and the water. William shrugged, and drew his suppressed water rated sidearm. 

"Grey! Order them back, or so help me Celestia, Luna, and The Almighty himself I will turn this ocean blood red!" 

"The sharkponies with spears halted a few yards ahead of William, swimming circles around the trio and eyeing them with what seemed more like cautious curiosity rather than blind contempt. They didn't utter a single word as they approached.

"Hey- Hey!" William keep his gun low, kicking his fins back and forth with just enough force to keep himself from sinking deeper. Greytail waved his hoof. 

"It's alright, they're here with me, they're... Emissaries!" The swarm of sharkponies didn't look all that convinced by his rushed statement. A few of them waved their weapons at Crimson Starwatcher, which elicited a low growl from the wolf pony, her fangs showing under her mask as little bubbles of air drifted up and away. Strangely enough, none of the Sharks seemed the least bit interested in William. In spite of the fact that he was the only one among them armed with an actual weapon, and wearing armor. Though, it was still obviously that they wouldn't have singled him out as a threat instantaneously, firearms didn't exist in Equestria, let alone underwater. And as for his armor, it probably just looked like strange bulky dive gear. Which, given their first encounter with Greytail, they understood in of itself.


"Halt!" William shouted, "Halt! Back!" He raised his hands, and gestured for them to stay back. To his surprise, they actually listened to him. They stopped trying to swim closer. 

"Greytail- To they speak? Or is this some weird sort of pheromone thing? Apologies, I don't know sharks all that well."


"It's... No problem." Greytail replied. Finally, after a few more laps around the trio, the sharks stopped circling, and one of them swam forward. William heard a series of chirps and... 'Movements' in the water around him.

"Sonar?" He thought to himself as he watched this strange performance unfold. 

"Grey, can you explain? You're a sharkpony after all." 

"Yeah, tell us! Or I'll swim over there and pry it out of you!" Crimson shouted, her voice still heavily muffled and distorted. Finally, one of the sharkponies darted over towards William, stopping just out of arms reach. 

"Hello? Can you understand me?" William waved his non occupied webbed right hand. The creature swam right up to him, and dove right under his hand, resting it right on it's own head as The Quiet Kid looked down in confusion. Unsure of what he should do. 

"What are you doing?" The creature snarled softly and shifted closer. "Umm... Greytail? What's going on?" The sharkpony stifled back a laugh. 

"I think she likes you!"  William looked down at the sharkpony, and then back at greytail. 

"This thing is a female? How can you tell? You all look the same!" 

"We don't!" Both the sharkpony by William and Greytail snarled. William swam backwards and up towards Crimson.  "You do." William replied. "You absolutely, positively, without a single shadow of a doubt, do." William found himself dogpiled from all angels by more uncomfortably friendly sharkponies. "What do I... Do?" He asked his friends. "They- Um... They clearly aren't interested in eating me, but... I wasn't really expecting this."

Nightshine swam up, and the sharkponies instantly shifted their focus away from William, and turned to the confused bat pony. Her expression went dead, but was reduced to giggles in mere moments. 

"Are we going to anywhere?" Crimson shouted over at William. "Down!" William called back. 

"Down!" Greytail resonated. 

"What!?" Crimson cried out. William and Nightshine were already gone, Greytail with them. " William!" She sputtered out, coughing as she suddenly recalled that she couldn't breath water. The wolfpony uttered a groan of frustration, and followed William. As they descended deeper and deeper, and the ringing and pain in her ears grew progressively worse, the sharkpony city came into full view. 

"Quite a nice establishment y'all have got yourselves here... It's very..." William floated in place, looking around him. He was a good hundred or so feet off the ocean floor, surrounding him was a veritable Manhattan underwater made from stone spires. Below him, an uncountable amount of half pony- half shark hybrids darted in and out of sigh along glowing highways lined with kelp the same way a surface road would be lined by trees. Beyond the cities'... Skyline? Oceanline?

"Hey! Nighshine!" William called out, turning a few sharkpony heads in the process as the batpony bolted out from their grasp and swam up to William. "What!?" She shouted, just a few inches from his ear. 

"City skyline or city oceanline? What should I call it?" 


"That! That would be oceanline!" A sharkpony in the crowd called back in almost perfect English. "Oh, now you decide to talk?" William questioned, holstering his pistol and crossing his arms. 

"Yes?" The shark replied. The voice seemed male. " I... Just got here!" He replied. William facepalmed. The armored sharkponies still remained with them. But with the crowd had come an array of garb and dress that would've made Rarity spontaneously combust, or... Just dissolve- Considering they were underwater. Dresses and suits made from woven kelp and adored in all kinds of shiny fish scales and shells, with little bits here and there that glowed faintly against the deep blue currents around them. William took another look down.

"This satisfy you Nightshine? It's like flying! Except you're constantly falling!" The batpony shook her head in amusement, William couldn't hear her chuckle, but he could tell based off her muzzles movements that she thought highly of it. The trio looked out across the massive aquaitc construct, beyond it lay massive rocky crags lined with colorful globules William took to be coral, alongside vast meadows of seaweed and seagrass. 

"It's moments like this that make me recall why I love Equestria so much." William told Nightshine and Crimson. It took a moment to filter through, but they both understood it, and swarmed around William.

"Just wish Joey was here! He'd love this." The Quiet Kid flapped his webbed gloves and spun around to face one of the armored sharkponies. 

"Hey! Can you take us to your leader!? I'd love to see your city but- I've got a quota to meet!" Crimson pawed William on the back. "Quota? Since when did this become a job for you? I don't recall you getting paid for you just acting like-"

"I get stipends from Celestia every now and then! Little thank you of hers to me for my saving Equestria." Nightshine rolled her nocturnal eyes, now glowing softly behind her goggles in the poorly illuminated ocean. All either light either came from the little bit of sun that managed to poke through the water, or the glow of the magical lanterns and other such forms of illumination. 

"Oh of course you do!" Crimson sneered. "That would make you... What? A mercenary?" William laughed as he swam along, haphazardly rolling his eyes below his mask and smiled. 

"Crimson, Nightshine, I'll have the both of you know that I prefer, 'Private Military Contractor.' Contractor sounds cooler. Just wish I had the beard and dope ass sunglasses to go along with it." Crimson stopped and shook her head. 

"You? With a beard? Hah! You're more the pencil mustache kind." William chuckled. "Sure... I'm not in the mood to do an Italian accent right now, I'm part Scottish, don't ya know?" Both mare's looked at each other with mutual understanding that William wasn't making any sense. 

"Y'all might wanna check your depth gauges and dive clocks." William changed the subject as they approached one solitary spire towards the center of the city. It was at that moment that he noticed something odd. They were going along much faster than usual now that they had gotten down to the level of the other sharkpoines in transit. It was then that Greytail swam up and bumped shoulders with William, causing him to bolt around and just barely miss the opportunity to take a swing at him with a closed webbed fist. The sharkpony snared at him.

"Enjoying it?" 

"Enjoying what? Why are we moving so fast!? Ocean currents?"

"Yep! We use them as fast and easy transit. You barely even have to move your fins in the process." William nodded, and relaxed his legs. 

"Are there different variations of sharkpony? What exactly are you all descended from? What's your system of government?" William was asking questions just about as fast as Twilight Sparkle at this point, though, most were barely legible underwater.

"Save your questions for later! You've got plenty of time, I'm sure!" 

"Yeah, just a few more hours..." William grumbled. The crowd fell away from them, until it was just Greytail, a few armored sharkponies, and the surface trio. The guards guided them into the large monolithic outcropping, where they soon found themselves surrounded by pumice rock tunnels some 20 odd feet in diameter and glowing aquatic growths that lined the walls like underwater braziers. They flushed and contracted whenever he poked at them. And he decidedly came to the conclusion that they were filled with bioluminescent algae. It was all spectacular to be sure, but nothing he hadn't witnessed  in the Kingdom of the Hypogriffs a summer ago. A Kingdom which he had promptly been kicked out for erroneously deciding to help Twilight try and steal a magical sphere that contained some of the most powerful transformation magic he had ever seen. Even Chrysalis and her changelings hadn't quite come to match it. Ever since it had been shattered, the Quiet Kid wished that he would be able to find himself one, figuring that it would make a cool placement on his wall. But, he wouldn't even know where to begin looking.

"Where are you taking us?" William asked the sharkponies, "I specified, 'your leader' but who- or what is that?"

"Oh why,  you're going to meet them in a moment!" 

"Delightful-" The Quiet Kid rolled out of the way of a trident tossed his way, it's golden tips impaled themselves in the pumice wall behind him with a dull crackle and a flurry of bubbles. "What the-" He glared around the room, his helmet lamps casting shadows across it. At it's end, was a set of stone seats wrapped in kelp. In stark contrast to the massive, wide open throne room of the seaponies and Hypogriffs, this throne room. If it even was that, was comparatively modest. Greek stone columns held up an otherwise natural cave, with the wall off to William's immediate right completely open to the outside ocean. He glanced around, and saw no one. 

"William," Crimson swam up and tapped him on the shoulder. "Look up." The Quiet Kid set his hand on his gun and glanced upwards. Circling about 10 yards above them, was a trio of 3 more sharks. These ones looked just like the rest, with the exception of one. This one bore a strange growth on his head. Upon closer inspection, William realized that he was looking at a horn.

"A... Unicorn sharkpony? Now you're just playing.. 'how many hybrids can you stick in one body?' Cool, but... Obscene at the same time? How did this even come about? Your physiology must be a mess!" Nightshine laughed at him. "Now you really are starting to sound like Twilight!" William rubbed his temples and shook his head. 

"Yeah, I suppose I do."

"Who threw that trident at me!?" William demanded, shaking his fist up at the ceiling and turning his attention from one shark to the next. 

"Who are you?" They asked him, swimming downwards until they were eye to eye. "William. That is Crimson Starwatcher, and that is Nightshine. Are you some form of ruling council? Your dominion is amazing!"

"Are you spies?"  William blinked. "No... What'd lead you to think that?" A flash of light out of the corner of his vision caught his attention. 

"What was that?" 

"Seapony attack." The lead sharkpony eyed them suspiciously, glaring at Crimson in particular. Greytail just shrugged and awkwardly swam over to the corner of the room. "Look, tell it to me from the beginning, what's your quarrel with the seaponies and hippogriffs? Fishing grounds? Magical artifact? Perhaps a difference of Opinion? One of those damn friendship problems?" The council of aquatic equines looked at one another and snarked, grunting and snarling among themselves before finally turning to William, and then instantly going back to bickering among themselves. William facepalmed, wondering if this was worth interjecting himself into.

"Oh what the hell?" He thought to himself. "I'm... Not exactly on the best standing with Novo anyhow. Still, maybe I could one up Twilight and fix this myself! I'm not good with politics damnit!" William kicked his fins and floated lazily back and forth as he spoke to himself, so much so that he once more drew the attention of the shark council ahead of him. 

"Creature?" One of them asked, "What are you doing?" 

"Thinking." William replied. 

"About what?" Nightshine asked him. William shrugged, and held himself upright. "How to fix this... Issue of theirs. It'd be fun to see how far I can get. Plus... Twilight's ruler of Equestria now." 

"Who?" The council members asked. William's gaze shifted around. "You haven't been up to the surface in a long time, have you?" This elicited the closest thing William believed he could get to a laugh from these creatures. "Explain it to me on the way- No, no, no. Is there any way you could get a delegation here? I know a few of them. Including some members of the... Ugh, 'royal family.' I'd be more than happy to help you out just... Make it quick?" William groaned as they laughed again. 


"William..." Crimson tapped her dive gauge. "It's in the yellow now." He nodded. "I wanna go check on Joey." He turned back to the sharkponies, "You can either come with us or wait right here."

"The surface, are you- Are you serious!?" They swam out of the room, growling and snarking amongst one another, talking as though they couldn't believe what he had just told them. 

"It's no matter." He responded. "They can go on and do whatever they want. Hey, Greytail. I've got just a little tiny favor to ask of you, if you're up for it."

"What?" 

"Find me a seapony named 'Silverstream'. If you can- Actually, scratch that- Can you just wait for us to return? And... Maybe try to translate all their laughing and snarking and growling for us?" Greytail squinted his eyes at them and bared his fangs in a strange sign of affirmation. 

"Absolutely. They just don't want a strange foreign surfacer getting involved in internal affairs'." William shook his head. "I have nothing better to do. I don't care what happens, but- I am intrigued by your species." 



"What do you mean he's gone!?" Frosty Fields almost doubled back from her seat on a set of cushions in Grogar's Cave.

"Gone, t-that's exactly what I said. He's missing from Ponyville! The Quiet Kid is gone!" If Grogar had any corporeal form, he would have been shaking his head and laughing madly. 

"No... I don't believe it! No...  Keep looking, he must be there somewhere! This is a trick, I am sure of it!" The talking bell beamed with magical energy. Throwing shadows across the cavern walls. Frosty sighed and shook her head. 

"Fine. I'll go back to looking for him." 



"William? William! You're back!" Joey pulled his friend back on board, rocking the boat as William slumped over the edge, with Nightshine and Crimson in tow.

"Well??" The alicorns voice rang with eager curiosity. "Did you find it? The sharkpony city?"


"That'd... Be an understatement." William answered him nonchalantly as he removed his helmet.

"We've got a lot of stuff to work out. Yes, yes, I know... We're technically supposed to be on vacation! And that... Is exactly what this is! I'd appreciate it if you joined us." Joey shook his head. "William, I-I just can't." 

"Oh, don't stutter! We're on vacation!" His alicorn friend lowered his head and sulked. William waddled over and rustled his blue mane. 

"Get yourself a sunburn yet?" 

"No... But would you mind leaving an umbrella up here next time?" William laughed, and Joey laughed back. 

"Good idea."
> In Which: One is Brought to Forego a Proper Vacation
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I came here for a vacation, not political drama. God help me if I recommend they try a practice of Federated Democratic Republicanism."

"A practice of what?" Crimson Starwatcher asked him, drooping her head off to one side as she took to her glass of lemonade in a befitting... Wolfish manner. William kicked back on his reclining beach chair and laughed. "Don't worry about it Crimson, I'll tell you later." Joey elbowed Nightshine. 

"William gets political when he drinks root beer. That's everything there is to it." The Quiet Kid set an empty can down in the sand besides his chair. "Target practice for later." 

"Oh, of course it is." The trio of equines laughed, leaving William to rub his temples and turn back towards the ocean. "I... Wasn't trying to be funny, but... If you took it as such, then delightful!"

"Delightful? We're laughing at your expense bud, and you're calling it delightful?" William rolled his eyes, and sat up in his chair. "Lemme reiterate, we are on vacation, on a tropical island, intentionally avoiding my most hated season of the year-"

Crimson's ears perked up. "You hate the fall? Why?" William reached down into his cooler and pulled out another can of root beer. 

"Ah, the muted colors. The dimmed lighting, it's not quite Winter, and it isn't summer or spring either. I can't stand it. Especially back where I'm from, California. The Winters there are pleasant... Thunderstorms, pouring rain, everything's green all the time. Fall, was just summer skies with winter cold. I, for lack of a better word, despised it."

"Hm... I like it." Nightshine responded, sweeping her tail about in the sand as she rolled her neck from side to side. "All the oranges and reds and yellows on the trees, the cool air, and Nightmare Night! The one night that a bat pony can just be a batpony without other ponies loosing their minds." William pied a glance over at the bat pony and smiled. 

"Loosing their minds? Heck Nightshine, if it's any consolation, your kinds more reclusive nature makes you all the more adorable." She furrowed her eyebrows. 

"Adorable?" She resounded. "Yes, that you are." William repeated, standing up and cracking his knuckles. He removed his sunglasses and stuffed them into a shirt pocket. "To date, I haven't met a single bat pony that hasn't put a big, goofy smile on my face." Nightshine's eyes grew wide, and Joey laughed.

"William's like that. What can we hope to do about it but laugh with him?" 

"It's got nothing to do with me bud. It's you all!" The group resounded in laughter, and William walked over to the white and blue alicorn sunning himself, and promptly ruffled his mane in as much of an affectionate manner as he could.

"Look, we- Or rather I, would like to see this shark pony dispute resolved with as much prudence as I can muster." 

"And just how do you intend to do that?" Luna's voice spoke, an alicorn shaped silhouette of almost blinding blue light appeared and molted away on the beach beside Nightshine, who immediately bowed out of habit. " Please Lieutenant, there isn't any need for that. You are on vacation after all, and I am no longer a Princess." 

"You'll always be a Princess to us, ma'am." Nightshine responded. William smiled, and set his hands in his pockets. "They really adore you, don't they- Novo!" 

"What? The-!?" Crimson nearly tumbled out of her chair. 

The Queen of the Hypogriffs raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Hello... William? Was it? You look... Good." Her voice bordered on a haughty sneer. Almost fitting, given William's last interaction  with her. If anything, it was William that should have had anger on the edge of his voice. His thick skin made him disregard it either way.

"Novo." William smiled," It's certainly been a while. I couldn't help but interject myself into your quarrel with the Sharkponies. They wouldn't even speak with me, so I'm encouraging that you speak to them, while in my presence." Novo rolled her eyes. 

"And why would I ever want to help you?" 

"Because I'm trying to help you." He responded, dusting the sand off his cargo pants. "Not intentionally...  One of them- Greytail, he's around here somewhere- Jumped Joey underwater. It was a complete misunderstanding of course, but the council of sharkponies, I... Didn't really gain much about them- They refused to speak with me. They laughed for a bit, and swam off." Novo sighed and shrugged. "That sounds very much like them. Even once you gain their trust, they are usually nothing if not lazy and apathetic."

"I'd beg to differ," William countered."  They've got quite the little civilization down there. And you couldn't make a work of art like that through depression and apathy."

Crimson laughed as she pulled herself up out of the sand and shook her mane. "Remember the changelings and old Chrysalis? Or have you forgotten already?"

"I just visited their hive a little while ago. That's not funny." He turned back to Novo. "Look, here is exactly what is going to happen. You and I are going to go down there and peacefully settle your differences. And I insist that you do it peacefully. Otherwise, I'll leave, and you can go right back to your paltry slapping fights- Or whatever passes for war in this part of Equestria." This statement drew the attention of Novo and Luna altogether. 

"That may seem like a brash statement." Luna told Novo, " Until you've seen him 'in action', it is really quite astounding how violent a creature can become if they, so to speak, 'press the wrong buttons'. It is nothing short of a blessing that he seems to love ponykind the way he does." William laughed, and rested his hands in his pockets. 

"Love is a strong word. My hat just likes resting itself on the same nail as long as it can. Come on, you can use transformation magic, right? Well go on and turn me into a shark-pony hybrid... And we'll head down and see what we can accomplish." William kicked the sand under his boots as he realized how odd the words sounded. Joey laughed uncomfortably. 

"You used to worry about turning into other creatures and now you just ask it whenever you feel like it." William smiled. "Yes... It's fun. And there isn't any real danger to it that I've seen so far. Besides, I trust you bud. I don't really know 'magic' per say but that doesn't sound that hard to me." The alicorn itched his right leg with his left. 

"Yeah... That's the thing, I-Don't know how to do that. I know a few transformation spells... But sharkponies aren't one of them. Why though?"

"So that I can stay down longer, and... They'll probably take better to a fellow sharkpony than a strange bipedal creature whom they've never before seen." William turned to Queen Novo. 

"Can you do it in his place? Not out in the open of course. The cottage I'm staying in should suit my purpose well. Joey, come along." The alicorn flattened his ears. "I probably don't know half what she knows. Don't ask me." 

"Either way, I still want you there. Please?"

"Oh alright!" The alicorn huffed. "Are you sure?" William laughed. "Of course  I'm sure! What could go wrong?" William beckoned Queen Novo and Joey to follow him back off down the path towards the cottages.


"William? William! Wake up!" The Quiet Kid opened his eyes, and was greeted by the dog-like face of Crimson Starwatcher, who pulled him up to all fours and gave him a witty paw slap on the shoulder just for good measure. William almost lost his balance, but his brain quickly snapped back into the right frame of mind, and he locked his legs in place. 

"Joey! Pass me that mirror-" He pointed at a nearby dresser mirror with a grey hoof and gestured towards himself. "Don't pass me it, just push it over here!" The alicorn snagged the mirror with his magic, and pulled it over to William. 



"Wow."

William looked himself over, examining everything from his strange rough, almost rubbery skin, to his new tail and his wings. Something which seemed to have been brought over from his last transformation into a pony. He took a step back, and then a step forward to the point where his breath dispelled across the reflective surface. He studied his face and grinned confidently. "I look fantastic-" He shifted his neck off to the side and experimentally poked a series of rills running along it. 

"Gills! I've got gills!" He ruffled his wings, neatly folding them with only minimal effort. 

Crimson almost stumbled over Joey as she rushed to check it out. " Oh? How does it feel?" The alicorn and the wolfpony asked, neglecting a slightly amused Queen Novo, who had taken up the most regal seat possible in the whole cottage. A humble brown couch on the far side of the room, overlooking the ocean.  

"A flying sharkpony?" The stately hypogriff questioned. "Yes!" William responded, turning away from the mirror. "I both look, and feel great! And-" A small bit of green magic flickered through his mane. "I don't believe it." She responded.

"A sharkpony-pegasus-kirin hybrid!" William touted, spinning around,  "Though, the tail might take a bit of-" 

"Ow!" Crimson cradled her left ear and let out a little snarl of disapproval. "Sorry!" He rushed his apology. "Novo! The sooner this thing gets resolved." His gaze fell on Joey. 

"Bud! I wouldn't suppose you'd like to become a shark as well? I'm certain it'd be fun! And besides, Novo just showed you the spell. So you should be able to replicate it whenever you want. It's your choice." The alicorn beamed with moderate uncertainty. The whole sight was a bit odd. And he still didn't want to get back in the water after Greytail. 

"Hold on, hold on." William shuffled off into an adjoining room, and came back a moment later, clad in an altered version of his black and red armored wetsuit from before.

"Alright, that's everything. Let's go resolve a localized conflict." He trotted over to the couch and tapped on it with a forehoof, motioning back and forth from the couch to the doorway.


"Last chance." William gestured towards the water, swirling it with a hoof. Joey swiftly shook his head. "No, no, no. You go do your thing... And I'll sit on the beach and wait for you." William's gaze now shifted to Luna, Nightshine, and Crimson. Who were all somewhat confused by what was unfolding. "Everyone just-Wait here! I'll be back!" Novo, in a flash of brilliant light, transformed into a seapony and dove headlong into the ocean shallows, swimming off towards the reef and open sea. William burped, and dove in afterwards, scrambling across the sand until his head was below the water. By habit, his eyes snapped shut. Though after a few seconds, he opened them up, and realized he could see just as clearly as he previously could with goggles. He kicked his back legs, and shot forwards a little ways.

"Wait, I can breath just fine." He opened his mouth, and the sudden presence of salt water didn't feel off at all. Everything felt, for lack of a better word, normal. Even if it was all waterlogged. The feeling of water passing through gills felt strangely pleasant. 

"Well?" He heard Queen Novo's voice echo across the sand. 

"I'm coming! I implore you to be patient!" He tapped the sand, "Alright... And the tail-" William batted it around, and even managed to successfully discern how to change directions. Once that was all figured out, he swam off in the direction that Queen Novo had disappeared in.



"It's been what- Four hours?" Nightshine asked Luna, "The sun's starting to set. How long do these things normally take?"

"Patience, I'm sure that William and Queen Novo were able to figure it all out-" At that exact moment, a soaking wet sharkpony William emerged from the ocean, dragging what seemed like a barely coherent Queen Novo Behind him with a mixture of magic and tail straps. 

"Well... We fixed it, it was some just some stupid nonsense over ancestral fishing grounds. Greytail congratulated us. And... Novo here really doesn't take well to certain types of seaweed. Oh yeah! I still hate seaweed. Now... If you all don't mind-" He dumped the unconscious seapony on the sand. "I'm going for a nice, warm, night time swim. I'll see you all again in about... Oh, an hour or two. And get a little fire going. I bid all farewell until a later time!" The brown maned sharkpony/pirin hybrid fell back into the ocean, darting off about a hundred yards out into the water, before suddenly bounding up like a dolphin using his tail fin and wings, and subsequently stumbling in mid air and falling back into the water with a massive splash. 

"Hey," William thought to himself. "I've foregone a proper vacation for long enough, I'll have it here and now either way. I'll be back in Ponyville... Eh, I'll just say later!"