Fallout Equestria: "As I Wander"

by Jacoboby1

Chapter 1 "Among Wanderers"

Fallout Equestria

“As I Wander”

Chapter 1

“Among Wanderers”

By Jacoboby1

It was cloudy again today. My father used to tell me stories about the sun. He said it used to shine down on Equestria like a bright beacon of warmth and hope. Nowadays nopony knows of the sun, just the impenetrable clouds of the Equestria Wasteland. It was like Celestia herself had denied us the sun because of our sins. Maybe one day the goddess will find it in her heart to forgive her subjects…but until then…it was just another day of clouds.

I was lying flat on my belly looking down at the raider camp before me. The camp was small, only a couple of tents and a large covered up square object in the distance. It looked like a large crate with a few tattered blankets over it. I had no idea what was in the camp but where there was one raider there was bound to be more. If we didn’t stop them now, more would follow. I looked through a pair of binoculars and started talking to myself “Five…two unicorns, three earth ponies. One of them has an assault rifle…poorly maintained…a frontal assault will do us no good…”

I zoomed in on the actual cage. I couldn’t see what was inside as it was covered up with strips of cloth. Whatever was in there though…warranted the need for two guards both armed with guns. It was valuable and the Wanderers could use something valuable, whether it was to trade or to give us an edge in the ongoing struggle to survive out here.

It was then that I heard a crackle. I reached into my saddlebag and pulled out a makeshift radio fashioned out of an old walkie talkie. Not the best quality but you had to make due in the wasteland with what you can get. So a filly’s walkie talkie was all I had to communicate with everypony else on the team.

“Drift here” I said into the receiver. I was far enough away from the camp to talk normally in the radio. I kept my tone just a little quiet just in case one of the Raiders had super hearing “How are things on your end, Rosy?”

A rough female voice spoke on the other end “I can see pretty well from over here. Looks like they got something and don’t want to share with the rest of us”

“Where’s everypony else?” I asked

“I left Trample behind with the tumbler in case we need to make an escape. Burstfire is circling above ready to strike should we need him. Alice…well I don’t know where she went off to. You know how she can be”

“We'll only use Alice as a last resort, she’s still unstable” I said knowingly

“I only hope its worth it Drift, but you haven’t done us wrong before. So, what’s the plan?”

“I’ll pick off the first couple with my sniper rifle” I explained “You then give Burstfire the signal and take care of the rest. I’ll call Trample, and we’ll see what these raiders are hiding”

“Will do, Rosy out” I heard the radio turn off and I reached for the sniper rifle to my left. It wasn’t the best quality and has been known to jam or occasion. Even with my knowledge of weaponry I couldn’t fix it without good parts. I only hoped it worked well enough to take out these raiders.

I held it in front of me and my brown magic wrapped around the weapon. I looked through the scope and saw the raider with the assault rifle. My crosshairs found the head of the pony and I was about to use my magic to pull the trigger when…

“Damn it Burstfire! Drift, we got a problem!”

I cursed under my breath and levitated the walkie talkie to my ear “What happened!?” I spoke firmly into the receiver.

“Burstfire! He’s going in ahead without waiting for the signal!” Rosy shouted over her end.

I looked up with my sniper rifle and cursed again. There was a black blur flying over the camp. The black Pegasus stopped and aimed his battle saddles at the nearest earth pony. The raider didn’t have time to get over the shock of seeing a Pegasus under the clouds before he got a hole in his head provided by Burstfire. The young Pegasus’ red blazed muzzle showed a smirk. Burstfire always had a streak of cruelty that came from living in this hell on Equestria.

The two unicorns grabbed weapons and opened fire on the Pegasus. Burstfire taunted the earth bound ponies and flew away. The red manned Pegasus was about to get away when one of the unicorns got a lucky shot and clipped the Pegasus in the wing. Burstfire made a noticeable jerk in the air as he as he began falling toward the earth.

“Idiot…” I said under my breath. I spoke into the radio with a voice of quiet command “New plan! We get in there and save Burstfire’s ass!”

“On it!”

I aimed my crosshairs at one of the other earth pony raiders about to join the fight. I pulled the trigger with my magic and the bullet sailed into the raider’s head. His head practically exploded from the force this rifle could bring. I reloaded the rifle and was about to fire at the other earth pony when I heard the gun click. Damn thing jammed again!

I left the faulty sniper rifle and ran down towards the camp. I ducked behind a rock as one of the unicorns took notice of my presence. She aimed with a pistol and shot at the rock just after I managed to take cover. I reached into my jacket and used my magic to pull out a six shot .44 revolver. Hundreds of years ago they called this model the Blackbird for its black coat of paint. It was also known for its sheer kick during the great wars of the past. Either way I was glad to have her at my side.

I poked out of cover and aimed at the raider with the Blackbird. I pulled the trigger and the bullet hit the raider in the shoulder. The unicorn let out a screech of pain and fell behind a piece of sheet metal for defense. I ducked back into cover knowing not to get too excited over just landing a shot on her. She was still alive and that was problematic.

Her earth pony friend came with the assault rifle and opened fire on me. Suddenly I was pinned down by a hail of bullets. Where the hell did they find all those bullets anyway? I want to know where they got them! I pulled out the walkie talkie and spoke over the symphony of bullets. “Rosy, are you there?”

“Yeah! That other unicorn bitch has got me and Burstfire pinned down! I can’t peek out or I’ll end up with more holes then I’d care to have.”

“How’s Burstfire!?” I shouted as a bullet grazed the edge of the rock. I no longer worried about stealth now that the raider desired to turn me into a target dummy. .

“If he’d hold still he’d be fine! I can’t work with all these bullets flying everywhere! Trample is too far away to be of much help. We can’t count on anypony else to come along! What are we going to do!?”

I closed my green eyes for a moment. It was the only option we had. If we waited we would be dead, if we rushed in, we’d be dead. Right now, I was going with option c.

I opened my mouth and I sang a tune:

As I came down to the river to pray

Studying about that good ole way…

Rosy spoke frantically over the radio “Drift, you can’t be serious! You said it yourself! She’s unstable!”

I ignored Rosy’s warning and kept singing that old song. I knew she would be drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

And who shall wear the starry crown?

Oh Luna…show me the way…

We shall show thee the way… I heard a voice speak in my head.

I smiled…Alice is ready for action.

I looked up as a ball of green fire descending from the sky. The Raider unicorn looked on as the being landed next to her. She looked up in fear as a fully grown Alicorn stood before her. Her coat was jet black and her mane was a swamp green that blew despite there being little wind. Her wings extended to their full length and her fangs were bare like a cat.

She spoke, not in an audible voice, but one you heard in your head. To those not used to it, it felt like a cold and dark being was whispering to you “You will not harm the herd! We have heard the call and come to save our herd!”

The raider screamed and aimed her gun at Alice. In half a millisecond a sword came out of Alice’s side sheath and knocked the gun away. My alicorn friend growled low as she advanced on the raider levitating the katana with her magic.

I took this opportunity to run to the other side of the camp where I figured Rosy would be. I saw the other unicorn shooting at my friends and aimed Blackbird at her. My bullet penetrated her brain and I ran to where Rosy was.

The scarlet earth pony was bent of Spitfire. She was younger then I was, maybe by a year. Right now her green and red mane was tied behind her as she bent over Burstfire. She was bandaging up his wing when I came along. Her gold eyes glared at me “Bout time, you have that spare stimpack?”

I nodded and tossed her the emergency stimpack I kept in my jacket. Rosy took the shot in her mouth and stabbed it into Burstfire’s wing.

“Damn!” Burstfire shouted out as the medicines in the stimpack did its job. He turned his head to glare at Rosy “Be gentle, you damn whore!”

Rosy slapped the young Pegasus on the head. Even in the heat of battle she wasn’t going to put up with Burstfire’s bullshit “Keep that mouth of yours shut! You’re lucky to be alive!” She finished putting the stimpack into Burstfire’s wing and swore profusely about what an idiot he was.

I peeked over the rock and saw that the remaining earth pony was running from Alice. The large alicorn was advancing on the cowering raider her green eyes looking at him like a predator would meat. I did not want to be the earth pony right now. Once Alice had tasted battle…she would taste blood until nopony was left to spill it.

“Stay back, damn it!” The earth pony shouted with a great amount of fear, “Keep away from me, you monster!”

Alice stopped short…levitating her long katana. Her green eyes looked indifferently at the earth pony. “Are we truly the monster? You hurt our herd…We kill those who hurt the ones we care for…”

The raider didn’t have time to retort before Alice stabbed the blade into his throat. Blood seeped onto the blade as Alice removed the sword just as fast as she stabbed him. The raider let out one last blood drenched choke before he finally gave up his last bits of life. Alice didn’t move…just stared at the corpse until her eyes became slits. She screeched and stamped the ground with her hooves. Her sword dropped to the ground forgotten as she began to rampage.

Rosy’s gold eyes grew wide “She’s becoming unstable again!”

I nodded and walked slowly toward the thrashing Alicorn. I spoke softly and gently “Alice” Her ears turned at the sound of my voice “It’s me, Drift”

Alice looked at me with those slitted green eyes of hers. She then growled and tackled me to the ground. I lay still as she ran her nuzzle on my brown fur sniffing me. I looked up at her with my own green eyes “Alice…you know me, you don’t want to hurt me”

Alice snarled at me, baring her fangs. She reared as if to stomp me into the ground.

I sung softly “Oh sisters let’s go down to the river to pray”

Suddenly Alice stopped mid stomp and set her hooves on either side of me. Her mouth didn’t move but the words of her singing along rang in my head. It was gentle, soothing, like a lullaby “Let’s go down… come on down…”

I kept singing to the alicorn as her rage subsided and she calmed down “Oh sisters let’s go down to the river to pray…down in the river to pray…”

Alice’s eyes returned to normal and she backed away from me. Her green eyes looked at me, tears glistening in them. “We attacked thee… we are ashamed for our actions.” She bowed her head to exemplify the shame she felt.

I walked to the alicorn and put my hoof on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Alice, you’re still getting used to the whole being free thing. We’ll work through this one step at a time”

She smiled a little then nuzzled me on top of the head. I felt her breath on my black mane as she calmed down. When she wasn’t in battle Alice was tame as a kitten. She was actually very nurturing and caring towards her “herd”. I guess it just came with the whole hive mind idea. I turned around to see Rosy and Burstfire appearing from behind the rock.

I walked towards Burstfire and glared at him. “What the hell was that about? We told you to wait for the signal!”

Burstfire’s frost blue eyes glared back at me “You were taking too long. We should have just rushed in and took care of them, but you had to take your sweet damn time!”

I looked at the stallion sternly. He was five years younger than I was and it showed. He was barely a stallion and he wanted everypony to know at least he was a stallion. Either way he wasn’t getting off easy “The next time that happens I have half a mind to leave you behind in the wastes and starve…”

Suddenly Burstfire’s eyes grew worried. He shook his head furiously, “You wouldn’t!”

“I would,” my voice wasn’t kidding around, “unless you get your attitude in order”

Slowly Burstfire nodded, “Whatever you say, Drift…”

I knew that wouldn’t help much with the attitude problem. But at least it got him off his high horse for a moment. The kid had a lot to learn about working with a group.

Alice’s ears perked up and her thoughts were excited “Trample is coming! We hear him!”

I looked over and saw a truck coming towards us. It was large with four all terrain wheels and powered by a magic powered engine. A rare find intact, but once you had it you never had to worry about finding gasoline. The thing ran on magic energy that you had to recharge once a day in order for it to work. Once you got it going it was a great asset to have in the wasteland.

The truck stopped in front of the camp and a grey coated earth pony came out of the front seat. He smiled at us “Sorry I missed the party”

I nodded simply “Good to see you here, Trample. Run into troubles on the road here?”

Trample was an Earth pony about a year younger than me. His coat was a concrete grey and his mane a natural silver. A cutie mark of an explosion showed his prowess with explosives. A skill I would’ve loved out in the field, but I needed him to bring the truck.

Trample simply shrugged “Nothing but the wasteland and me. Pretty soothing really, but I hate that you guys get to have all the fun to yourself”

Rosy rolled her gold eyes “If you want to get shot at, be my guest”

“Why would Rosy want to invite Trample to get shot at?” Alice asked in all our heads.

I looked over at the Alicorn trying to hide a chuckle. Alice still had a bit to learn about being among ponies. “Its sarcasm Alice, Rosy doesn’t really want Trample to get shot at. She’s just joking around”

“Oh, this is one of those jokes you are talking about…ha ha?” She said that last bit in her head very confused. Her eyebrow even rose at this concept of “Joking around”.

Burstfire rolled his eyes as Rosy laughed a little “Don’t worry your head about it, Alice,” Rosy said, smiling at the Alicorn warmly. “Just leave the humor to me”

Trample looked past us to the covered cage, “What’s in there?”

I turned to the cage and looked at it curiously. “Something that would require two guards to guard it”

Rosy raised an eyebrow “Maybe it’s their whisky supply?”

Trample laughed “You would want that, wouldn’t you? No wonder we can never have a good drink back at Dodge”

Rosy frowned at her earth pony companion as he burst into laughter. I held back a chuckle at the comment about Rosy’s drinking. We never let her live it down.

Alice advanced on the cage and she looked at me with her head tilted “We sense brain patterns…there is something alive in here”

I nodded and cautiously advanced on the cage. I looked to my companions “Get ready, for all we know there could be a full grown Hellhound in here”

Rosy nodded and drew from her saddlebags a pair of knuckles. She specialized in close quarters combat and probably stood the best chance of fighting a hellhound up close.

Burstfire loaded his battle saddle and was ready for whatever came out. I could tell he was eager to shed blood after spending the fight getting shot at.

Alice lowered her horn ready to fire any spell at the cage. If there was anything more dangerous than Alice I had yet to find it. Facing a Alicorn was a dangerous undertaking any day of the week. Let alone one that protected her herd above anything else.

Trample’s battle saddle was loaded with grenades. I don’t think he understood the logic of not using explosives so near me as I walked to the cage.

Then again this was the same pony who thought it would be a good idea to poke Alice in her sleep. He still cringes whenever we talk about it. Suffice to say he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

I walked to the cage and slowly used my magic to move the curtain aside. My green eyes grew wide at what I saw.

Inside was a unicorn mare…I’d say two years younger than me. Her coat was a soft baby blue with a long and silk like dark blue mane. She was small framed and looked like she hadn’t eaten in days. She lay on the floor unconscious; she was probably drugged by the raiders.

All those observations fall under insignificant compared to what she had on her left foreleg. For on that leg…was a pip-buck.

Comments

[LuckyBreak]

ok dude, I sort of liked the story but it raised a few points i have to address. some of your descriptions feel a little rushed and some don't give enough details. There's a few parts that makes your main oc feel like a human rather than a unicorn.
now im not getting down on you or anything as i think its a decent entree into the FoE herd but you need to get a proofreader to look it over for you.
also ignore the random downvotes, theres a few idiots who go around downvoting every single FoE story as its 'overused ideas', bit of a derp in my opinion as every idea is overused if you think about it lol.
so in short, its a decent idea dude but you need to get a proofreader to give it a once over for you. Dont stop writing though

[Jacoboby1]

1291491Everypony keeps telling me to look for a proofreader but I have yet to find one willing to come and do it

[LuckyBreak]

1291961 i think theres a few groups that edit and proofread or theres always chat.
come in and chat and you might find somepony willing to take a look for you

[Jacoboby1]

1292042Hey thanks man, this was really an experiment to see what I could do with the setting. I think I might reupload this chapter after some heavy editing

[Doomande]

REVIEW TIME!

The first thing that spring into my mind is that Drift is using a sniper rifle with so much power that it can explode heads with just his magic. Because telekinesis is not known for being good friends with recoil. I could buy it if he used magic to set it up, but the ground to support it, but that is just a minor detail. He could also be rather good with his magic and I am overreacting on a really small thing, you chose. By the way is it rather nice to see a sniper that uses a single shot sniper rifle. It is always nice to see some new weapons instead of the same ones just with different colours, and especially nice to see that he use something that ain´t fully working

The only really bad thing I can point at is that you have a plothole. You say that Alice is free of the hivemind, but she does still act like she is under it, talking in we and what not. It could be because she had many different pieces of souls and memories in her, but that are not what I wanted to point out. You say that the story are about a decade before LilPips adventures, but the freeing of the alicorns was something that LilPip did. So a plothole, but not a big one. I am sure that there is a explanation somewhere, but I would just like that we got it rather quickly so we could patch that hole up

Beside The Last Sentinel are your story the first one I have seen that use magical vehicles, and you are the first one that makes a truck. I would really really like if there was some more details about it, because when you introduce a new thing like that to the wasteland are there always a lot of questions that the reader haves, or maybe some disbelief. And right now do I just see a human truck with some magic under the hood, and I do not think that that was what you aimed for. And now that we are at the truck. I saw that you mentioned gasoline in your story, and I think that that was a mistake. Because gasoline does not exist in Fo:E, or not that I know of. They had coal and lived in a steam punk world, using coal to make power, and gems and magic for all the other coll stuff that we know and love. But never have oil or gasoline been mentioned in Fo:E, or if it had must it have slipped under my radar.

One thing I find a little bit fun that you capitalize the races in your story, but not all of them, are talking about your "earth pony". It is actually something I have seen a pair of times before in other stories. But would like to ask why you do it? Because it ain´t names, it are races, so you do not need to write them with capital letters

It is a little to early for me to talk about the characters, but like the story so far. We learned a lot, and saw some action, and all that in 3K words, just the right length for a read when you travel with bus or trains. So looking good. A vote up and a favorite so I can see where this is going

"She specialized in close quarters combat and probably stood the best chance of fighting a hellhound up close."

Nitpicks:
Remember to use a space after your ellipses, and with a little fast Crtl+F search can you quickly kill the 3 double spaces that are in your story.

"Burstfire always had a streak of cruelty that came from living in this hell on Equestria." While this isn´t technically wrong do I not think that the planet is called Equestria, as far as I remember is it called Eques or something like that, named by the fans as so many other things.

"We get in there and save Burstfire’s ass!” Ass is a human term, I think that you should use flank here.

" I no longer worried about stealth now that the raider desired to turn me into a target dummy. . " Could use a little bit of rewording, and there is a phantom period here also that I think you want to kill.

"I opened my mouth and I sang a tune:" This line should not be in italic

"you have that spare stimpack?” I think you meant healing potion but it is a honest mistake that all could do

"Are we truly the monster?" I would capitalize the w in we, she is talking pluralis maiestatis there, but can´t remember if that is right or just something I would want to have there

"But at least it got him off his high horse for a moment." I do not think that there would be a saying like this in Equestria.

"A cutie mark of an explosion showed his prowess with explosives" I think that it is a little redundant to point out that he is good with explosives, when he have a cutie mark that are one.

"No wonder we can never have a good drink back at Dodge” Cold use some rewording.

"Rosy nodded and drew from her saddlebags a pair of knuckles" To use knuckles would you need to have some knuckles to put them on. I would instead say that she strapped some combat horseshoes on or something, same thing really, but just for our magical ponies.

"I walked to the cage and slowly used my magic to move the curtain aside." Why did he move so close to a cage that have something unknown in it? It is relative known that unicorns can use telekinesis at some distance when it is just light objects they move, and a cover is rather light.

[Jacoboby1]

1798656The parts with Alice I'd like to point out is that while she has broken free from the hive mind she's still not used to it. That's why she speaks in we and refers to the others as her herd. How she became free will be explained in the story. As for the capitalizing, it's some kind of weird thing with word that makes me have to capitalize races. The nitpicks you pointed out are simply errors that snuck under the radar and I'm still trying to learn some of the terminology in this universe. The reason that the sniper rifle explodes heads is not Drift's magical prowess but the fact that most single shot sniper rifles were highpowered and deadly. As for whether gas exists in FOE, that was just me taking liberties with the setting. I just figured some things like magical vehicles and gas would be available years before the main story arc.

Those are just addressing some criticisms you have in the story. I'm still learning all of the intricacies of this sight so expect some errors from me.