Years after being assumed to the position of Friendship ambassador, Spike learns that he has to deal with the tribulations of being an adult, along with the challenging issues that plagues his caretaker and mentor: Relationships.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hi there.
hello there.
where the pic from?
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I can't link it from here on the account of site rules, but I can say you'll find it on Derpibooru. It will be image 1657203, artist is KnifeH, who I believe isn't doing nsfw anymore.
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thanks!
Oh boy, and the madness continues. Honestly with how Spike was portrayed in the prior story, I haven’t really forgiven him for some of the things he did. Just hope I can feel differently reading through this.
Oh boy, a new story from one of my favorite authors. Anon why you so sweet to us?
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your move.
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Jedi scum, I was trained in your lightsaber arts by Count Dooku
Damn, looks like you got me hooked again. Hopefully this maintains the more lighthearted air I’m seeing, I like the more casual stuff as opposed to the big drama its predecessor held (which was juicy, but harrowing).
Not sure how to really describe it, but I just love the way you write character interactions. The casualness and brazen banter of some is just really cool to see. Let’s see where this train goes
okay my critique here.
The Good
To be honest this is a great story, personally and while I am a huge fan for dragons and all that, the way its done here it is beautiful and unique to the point where I could never come up with some of the concepts shown here. It is a tough view on their lives and I love it for the astetic as well as the different take on them.
Occellus is a little out of character but I love it as well. Its one of those (its the quiet ones) type deal and I actually wish there was more of her.
The balance
From a standpoint, Spike is a great character and the potryal here of him is pretty nice. Different, a unique approach and nothing to crazy like other fics where he is just a sex crazed dragon and thats it. There is a good telling of how, why and whats going to happen to him. It is not that bad of a dipiction of him and I enjoyed it.
That bad.
The human part of this series(Have not read the first series) really bothers me and that is why its so hard to give a like or even a fav to this story. The human element kills it to the point where I am more thrown off when some random part of it is entered.
The technology I feel is a bit... really out of place but at the same time it would make sense if Equestria could harness said technology for themselves. If they invented themselves or say that they took inspirations or even had brought it over from the other side, that would work but thats it.
OCs are fine and all, and Mary Sues can be a bit draining(if not done right) or just boring. I normally just ignore fics with humans in them and not even bother to comment on them. its hard enough trying to find an Equestria Girls fic where I am actually interested in it.
Humans tend to ruin things(In my view but there are probaly some great fics out there) with them and this in and out with them throws me off.
So, you are a great writer, I wont discredit you in that regard. I actually finished this through to this chapter and found some great dialogue(the texting actually made me smile) and the humour was grand! Spike and Ocellus is a new shipping that I enjoy and the BFF with Benefits is awesome. All the other secondary characters are great and I do enjoy the creative zebracorn, so that makes it great.
All in all, I don't think I will follow the story but I will give it a like for what was established here and will see what other stories you will write in the future.