Parent Trap

by PhantomBulwark

Operation Rarijack II

The Apple family entered the Ritz-Canterton hotel with the same air as they did any other place: carefree and boisterous. Vignette could feel a headache coming on at the sight of them but pulled her face into a smile.

“Mother, Daddy, this is my fiancée and the love of my life,” she pulled AJ in close, “Applejack Apple. And her… family.”

“Hello dear.” Vignette’s mother smiled, “You may call me Mrs. Britches and this is my husband Bracer. And who is this?” She turned her attention to a glaring Crispin, snagging his cheek in a pinching manner.

“This is Applejack’s son, Cortland. And these are her other family.”

“It’s mighty nice to meet y’all,” Applejack interrupted, shaking Bracer Britches’ hand. “This here is my sister Applebloom, my brother Big Mac, my cousin and business partner Pinkie Pie and her wife Rainbow, annnnnnd Granny Smith! Oh, and this is our friend and occasional experiment expert Twilight.”

“A pleasure,” said Mr. Britches, his expression saying that it was not at all a pleasure.

Crispin gave them all the darkest glare he could muster and out of the corner of his eye he saw Applebloom and Big Mac exchange looks. Even his Aunt Twi made a face.

“Well,” Vignette gave a large fake smile, “why don’t we all freshen up before we have dinner hmm?”

Sunset regretted letting Rarity convince her that taking a first class flight to the airport. She also regretted agreeing to the limousine. Both came with complementary booze. “Rarity,” She gently tugged a tiny bottle from her friend’s hand, “maybe you should slow down.”

“I’m about to see my ex for the first time in thirteen years Sunset. I’m freaking out.” She grasped Sunset by the cheeks and stared into her eyes, “Have you ever seen me like this?” Sunset opened her mouth to answer but- “Don’t answer that. Do you think what I’m wearing is okay?... Don’t answer that either.”

Sunset shook her head, “just wear that little purple number I know you brought and she’ll be putty in your hands. AJ always was a sucker for you, pajamas or ball gowns.”

Rarity’s face flushed, “you think?... No, wait… that isn’t what we’re going there to do. We are going to switch the boys back and never speak again.” She glanced at Cortland, “We’ll come up with a way you boys can see each other.”

“Do you hate Ma that much? You just never want to see her again?” The spacious stretch limousine suddenly felt much too small.

“The reason we came up with this arrangement was because we never wanted to set eyes on each other again. I’m fairly certain your mother isn’t looking forward to this anymore than I am. You did speak to her didn’t you?”

Cortland cringed when Rarity pulled another shot of vodka from the small cooler. “Uh… yeah, Ma seemed really… excited to see you again.”

Rarity’s eyes went wide and she squeaked, “She is?” She snatched yet another shot.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Sunset muttered out the side of her mouth. Then to Rarity, “the other girls will be there too Rares. Fluttershy is arriving a few hours before us and the rest are already there.”

“Right, of course darling, I can do this.”

By the time they rolled to a stop outside the hotel Sunset had her doubts about Rarity being able to ‘do this’.

She gave un-lady like giggle as she tumbled out of the limo and Cortland cringed. “Uh… Mama? You feelin’ alright? “

“What? Oh yes darling, perfectly fine. I just need a bit of fresh air, why don’t you two go check us in hmm?”

Sunset gave him a subtle shrug and they made for the reception desk. The hotel’s massive glass windows, beautiful marble floors, and giant chandelier made it hard for Cortland not to stare.

As they checked in Cortland caught sight of Crispin and the brothers immediately met in an embrace. “Man, it’s so good to see ya.”

Crispin smirked, “you’re a sight for sore eyes as well. Hello, Aunt Sunset.”

“Sunset!” Pinkie and Dash were upon her in seconds, they drew plenty of eyes but no one seemed keen to stop them. The reunion was shortened somewhat by Rarity’s tottering arrival.

“Cortland darling I thought you said that-” She froze, “… Oh why now? I’m already seeing double.”

“Good to see you too, Mother” Crispin snipped.

Rarity drew him into a hug and sighed, glancing over his head she surveyed the rest of the group. “Hi Pinkie… Dash.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “oh get over here you dummy.” Rainbow pulled her in and the prior group hug came back in full force.

When they finally separated Crispin smiled a little sheepishly at his mother. “So, not to cause any more stress but um… Mom doesn’t actually know you’re here.” Rarity’s shriek was so loud it rattled the windows.

Applejack sighed as she and Vignette stepped into the elevator together. Since the moment they’d arrived Vignette had been making not-so-subtle comments about moving the wedding to the hotel. Not even the fancy mirrored walls of the massive elevator could draw her attention away.

“Just think dearest, if we held the wedding here we could invite some investors….”

AJ scowled, “It’s our damn wedding. Why would I want a bunch of stuck up blowhards there?”

Vignette recoiled, “those stuck up blowhards are the only reason you have a dime Applejack Apple. Our happiness depends on those men.”

If she had been listening, Applejack likely would have had quite a few words about what truly brought her happiness. But she wasn’t listening. A shriek from the lobby drew her attention. And her eyes locked on a familiar form. As the elevator door started to shut her hand snapped out and caught it. As the door slid open again it became apparent that Rarity had seen her too.

AJ’s eyes flicked from left to right as her brain tried to spit out some explanation, her ex… the love of her-No. She couldn’t think like that… her ex and her sons- her boys were in the same place. Her old friends were all together…

“What the fresh hell?”