4. Chain Collisions
As the sun neared the apex of its ascension, its golden rays of heat pelted the grassy fields surrounding the town of Ponyville. A certain scaled individual basked in the solar splendor, amplifying his heat intake by lying upon a large rock. This nameless individual was a speckled gold and black king snake. The reptilian monarch did not usually take pride in his royal title, but he most certainly felt like a ruler upon this wonderful day. His ebony body soaked up the heat like an abrasive politician absorbs insults. Nothing could ruin his perfect day. No stray dog would find him on this rock, especially not that annoying border collie from the farm. No tasty rodent would distract the serpent from his sultry sun salutations. Not even that sky-blue pegasus pushing a large cloud directly in front of the sun could—hey!
The now shaded and severely disgruntled serpent hissed in annoyance as Rainbow Dash, captain of Ponyville’s weather team franticly streaked from one side of the town to the other, gathering as many clouds as she could.
“Dangit!” Dash shouted in frustration as her latest cloud literally melted before eyes. “Why is it so blasted hot today?! Ponyville is supposed to have an unadjusted heat basis of 70° Marenheit for the next two weeks, so why the hay did I wake up this morning to a blistering 95°? Urgh!”
The neon-maned mare groaned in frustration, allowing her eyes to close and her wings to go completely limp. With no resistance (or magic lift) to keep her up, the pegasus quickly found herself in freefall. Below her, the business district of Ponyville rapidly approached. The unforgiving pavement rose rapidly meet the (seemingly) unconscious mare, eager to inflict pain. At the last possible second, Equestria’s self-proclaimed best flyer snapped open her eyes and gave her wings one huge flap. *SNAP!* The sudden bout of air resistance (combined with a not-at-all shabby dose of pegasus magic) provided the perfect amount of force to counteract the momentum of her fall. Anypony watching would have seen Rainbow Dash come to a complete halt, suspended a mere twenty-four inches from the ground as if by magic. (spoiler, it was!)
Rainbow allowed a smirk to crawl across her muzzle. “At least I still have that going for me. Perfectly executed Hairdini fall, as usual. Pffft, once Spitfire sees me do that, she’ll practically be begging me to join the Wonderbolts. ‘Oh, Rainbow Dash, that was the most amazing trick I have ever seen! Won’t you please join my—‘cough’—my te—’cough, cough’”
Equestria’s own element bearer of Loyalty was rudely interrupted from her fantasy by a severe case of coughing, caused by a humongous cloud of dust billowing from a nearby window. Rainbow collapsed into a fit of wheezing as the offending smog swirled around her unnaturally. With tears streaming from her suddenly agitated eyes, the suffering mare just barely managed a half-hearted flap of her wings. The magic-infused push was sufficient, however, to blow the dust up into the sky, banishing it from Ponyville forever.
Rainbow let herself limply fall back onto the pavement and gave out a miserable whine. “Why me?” she moaned, rubbing her eyes with her foreleg, “why me?”
Oblivious to the plight of Ponyville’s unfortunate weather captain, two friends were waging a war on a never-before-seen scale within the very building from which emanated the dastardly cloud which caused Dash’s downfall.
“Have at thee, fiendish filth! Nopony can withstand the combined attacks of Equestria’s most fearsome duo! We shalt deal with thee most ferociously.” Firm Feathers crowed with fervor as he used his wings to funnel a tornado of dust and grime out the window.
Across the room, the unicorn stallion True Blue responded in kind. “Harken to mine brother of war, as he doth verily speak the words of truth. Thou shalt rue the day thou didst take up residence in our domicile. No more shall we live under thy tyrannical rule, o demons of soil and scum!”
Blue narrowed his eyes, sizing up the couch before him. To his left, Feathers sported a similarly grim expression, flexing his wings in anticipation.
“Do you see the enemy before us, private?”
The gray pegasus shook his head slowly. “Sir, no sir! They be hiding underneath yonder barricade.”
“Such barricades are meant to be breached, soldier. Ready your weapons.”
“Aye sir! Weapons readied.”
A small ball of wind gathered at the tips of each of Firm’s wings.
“On my mark.”
True Blue’s horn lit up with his cobalt magic. The couch before the duo also lit up with the same aura. Blue swiftly levitated it off to the side, exposing the dark secrets underneath. With one flick of his wings, Blues’ pegasus friend launched a preemptive strike upon the enemy.
“DIE!”
With a snarl, True Blue charged forward, joining his friend in battle. His weapons of choice held aloft by magic (those being Lysol, rags, and air freshener), the final stronghold of the enemy was felled. The last of the dirt and grime of a thousand years (more like three, actually), blew out of the window. Blue quickly slammed the window shut with his magic and grinned at his partner.
“The battle is over; Firm, we are victorious!”
Letting out a victorious whoop, Firm Feathers proceeded to collapse onto the displaced couch, breathing heavily. Blue soon joined him with an amused snort, fanning himself with a newspaper. As they lay there panting, the two stallions grinned and shared a hoof bump. Several minutes passed by as their breathing slowly returned to normal. After a while, Blue sighed and rolled himself off the couch. Landing on the stone floor with a small *clop*, the blue-maned unicorn began making his way to the door leading upstairs.
“Well, as unexpected as this morning has been, I do believe it is high time I got a start on my actual work for the day, Feathers.”
The drab pegasus moaned, burying his muzzle deeper into the couch cushions. “No, I don’t wanna. I thought you said I had the day off too?”
“You may have the day off, Feathers, but I do not. I work for the government, after all. Even if there is no work to be done I must at least keep up appearances. And thus, I will be in my office, filling out meaningless paperwork until the sun goes down.” Blue paused in the doorway and smirked. In a slightly lower voice he spoke again, just loud enough for the pegasus to hear.
“…and that is when the fun begins.”
One hour later:
It was now just a few minutes past noon. True Blue sat in his office, freshly showered and ready for the day. In his hoof was his daily cup of coffee, fresh from Sugarcube Corner. He took a big gulp of it and smiled. Black, with just the barest hint of sugar, just how he liked it.
Blue had just returned from his daily errands. He had been in a bit of rush today, considering how late of a start he was getting. Unfortunately, ponies often get sloppy when they rush things. They sometimes forget the smaller tasks, like brushing their teeth, making their bed, or checking their mailbox.
Such thoughts were far away from Blue though. He was busy surveying his office, wondering what he should do with the rest of his day. As mentioned before, government jobs can sometimes be quite slow.
As for the office itself, the room opened up into a hallway just beside the main entrance of the building. Blue’s chair faced a wall covered in Equestrian recruitment posters. One depicted a very familiar white unicorn in a striped top hat. Captain Shining Armor stood on three legs with his fourth stretched out towards the reader. A curly blue mustache was poorly imposed over the stallion’s muzzle. Inscribed at the bottom of the poster were the words “Equestria wants you!”
This poster (and several others surrounding it) were part of a failed effort to raise recruitment numbers for the EG (Equestrian Guard). Unfortunately, not many ponies seemed to be interested in becoming peacekeepers these days. Violent crime was virtually nonexistent, and other, lesser infractions were rare. As far as wars went, they were—well, simply put there were none. The last “war” Equestria had seen was the invasion of the Griffin empire over 300 years ago. Even that had only lasted for less than a week. Griffin forces had indeed terrorized some villages on the outskirts of the country for several days. The arrival of a certain solar princess, however, had caused the instant decimation of the invading army. The fleeing pony refugees were quite surprised when the griffins pursuing them had suddenly disappeared. They were even moreso shocked when, returning to what once had been their villages, they discovered a sizeable swath of smoking sand where their homes had once stood.
When questioned about what had happened, Princess Celestia gained a dark look in her eyes, proclaiming that “those nasty griffins will not be hurting my little ponies ever again.” The nobles who had brought forth the question quickly wised up, shut up, and made sure to bury any stories about the true events of the Pony/Griffin war of 637.
On the left wall of Blue’s office, several filing cabinets were lined up in a row. These contained countless government documents concerning recruitment tactics, procedures, guidelines, restrictions, and other such bureaucratic nonsense which True had never even bothered to read.
The most eye-catching item in the room was directly behind the stallion’s chair, where anypony entering the office would immediately notice. Two slightly-curved swords with crossing blades were welded on top of a ramrod straight spear. A solid blue pennant was affixed just below the point of the spear. This plaque was an exact depiction of the cutie mark which True Blue bore upon his flanks. The swords represented the stallion’s combat prowess. The slight curve of their blades indicated a tendency to manipulate information in order to achieve his own purpose. The straight spear had a dual-purpose of both representing proficiency in different weapons and also an unwavering focus on his goals. The blue pennant represented absolute loyalty to his country no matter what.
The final wall contained a small window looking out into the streets. If Blue leaned back in his chair, he would just barely be able to see the city of Canterlot over the distant horizon. Indeed, that was exactly what the unicorn was gazing at. Thoughts whirled inside his head as he contemplated his mission.
Fourteen years ago:
“Daddy?” A young True Blue wobbled on three legs, his other wrapped around a short spear. “Why do I have to learn how to fight? Why can’t I go out and play with the other colts from school?”
Loyal Spear sighed, trotting over to his unbalanced son. He put a hoof on Blue’s chest, pushing it up.
“Keep your back straight, son. You will get tired more quickly if you don’t. As for your question, the answer is simple.”
The Spear family’s patriarch lifted his child’s chin until their eyes were locked onto each other, a scant few inches between them. Ensuring his son’s attention was caught, the father began a speech which he had desired to give for many years. “As I heard from my father, so now I shall tell you.”
True’s eyes widened in surprise. His grandfather had died long before Blue had been old enough to know him. Loyal Spear rarely spoke of his father, always diverting to a different subject when it had come up. Maybe now Blue would finally find out why!
“Our house has served as guardians of Equestria for a long time. Indeed, it was your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,…..”
Blue’s eyes began to spin as his father droned on and on until finally he stopped.
“…great grandfather, Delusional Spear who established our house as nobility. He was a war hero, Blue, a survivor of the Pony/Griffin war of 637.”
“Whoa,” exclaimed the unicorn colt. “What did he do?”
“What did he do!? Why, he single-hoofedly took on the entire griffin army, that’s what! Delusional Spear (or Louie, as he preferred to be called), used his magic to change the very face of Equestria. There he stood, the only pony keeping the savage beaked monsters from feasting upon the fleeing refugees of the village.”
True Blue shivered at the thought of pony-eating griffins, subconsciously gripping his spear tighter.
Loyal Spear continued the story, his enthusiasm increasing with every word. “Strangely enough, Louie never displayed any magical prowess before the event which changed his life forever. As the invaders approached, Louie bravely called out:
‘Uh, where did everypony go? And why are those birds getting bi—wait, who’s there?!’
To this the griffins laughed, gazing down upon the lone unicorn and judging him to be easy prey. Three of their strongest warriors landed in a circle around him, brandishing their metal-shod talons.
‘Hello there, pony,’ they purred, evil smirks upon their faces. ‘Are you trying to protect your villagers? How cute. Unfortunately for you, we are going to eat EVERY SINGLE ONE!’
As the griffins erupted into maniacal laughing, even the brave Delusional Spear (again, he very much preferred Louie) took a step back. Regardless, he quickly regained his courage and responded bravely:
‘Wh-wh-wh-what d-do you m-mean eat us? Th-that’s not very n-nice.’”
True Blue frowned. “Daddy, why did Louie stutter so much? Wasn’t he a brave hero? He wouldn’t be scared of a few mean ol’ griffins.”
“I… don’t know son. I’m just telling you the story my father told me. Maybe he had a speech impediment or something?”
Blue nodded. That made sense. Of course Delusional Spear wasn’t afraid. Nopony could scare him!
“Anyways, where was I? Ah, yes. The griffins taunted the brave unicorn. They made sad faces and acted as though they were crying.
‘Aww, look at the poor little pony. He’s all afraid, crying like a baby, boohoo!’
Louie did not give into fear. He put on a resolute expression steeling himself for the inevitable fight. One last time he offered mercy to the poor fools before them, giving them a final chance to escape with their lives.
‘*sniff* P-please d-don’t hurt me.’ (Of course, “me” meant “my village and me” in Old Equestrian, son. This was basically a final warning to the griffins to back off or else!)
The evil griffins cackled maniacally, stepping closer to Louie. And that, dear son, is when a miracle occurred. The formerly inept mage Delusional Spear lit his horn with a pure white light, almost as if the sun itself was reflecting off of it. He let out a war cry, a tribute to Princess Celestia, the mother of Equestria.
‘M-m-mommy!’”
True Blue pranced about in anticipation, his long-forgotten spear lying in the dirt.
“What happened then, huh? What happened next, Daddy?”
“Well son.” Loyal Spear leaned in closer and whispered three words into his son’s ears. Three words which would change the impressionable foal’s life forever.
“The sun exploded.”
True Blue was startled from his trip into the past by a harsh knocking on the door. He shook the glazed look from his eyes and then frowned.
“Who could be knocking on the door? I’m not expecting anypony today. And why does the knock sound almost… angry? Huh, guess I better not upset them more by making them wait.”
By the end of his train of thought, Blue was already at the door, handle twisting in his azure magic. As he opened the door he donned a friendly smile, beginning his normal greeting:
“Welcome to the guard recruitment office, how may I help…”
True’s speech faded as he gazed into what appeared to be a window to an alternate dimension. Through the window he beheld himself, only slightly different. Azure mane, alabaster coat, polished horn; Blue’s perfect double stared back at him angrily. The only difference between the two unicorns was their attire. While Blue was wearing a sleek, black sports coat (strange attire for somepony who was planning on sitting in an office all day, but everypony has their own personal tastes.), the stallion across from him was outfitted in shiny gold armor and holding a sharp spear….
Oh. OH!
This was not an alternate reality at all. This was, in fact, a typical royal guard who just so happened to look like True Blue’s perfect twin.
A royal guard who was currently glaring daggers at Blue.
“Ahem,” Blue cleared his throat nervously. He recognized this guard, of course. He had been one of Blue’s “recruits”. That, however, did not mean that the guard recognized him. Blue had made sure of that.
“Um, can I help you, officer?”
The guard finally spoke, a hint of disdain in his voice.
“Indeed you can. You are the recruiter known as “True Blue” are you not?”
Blue began sweating. A guard, at his doorstep, asking for him? This was not good. Not good at all.
“I—yes, that is my name.”
“Good,” the guard responded. “I am going to have to ask you to come with me immediately. You are late enough as it is.” As he spoke, the guard began trotting briskly down the street, motioning for True to follow. The unicorn citizen quickly recovered from his surprise, breaking into a short run to catch up.
“Er, I’m late, sir? Late for what?”
Not even glancing back, the guard responded in a grim tone. “Late for lunch. Lunch with Princess Celestia, that is. Didn’t you get the letter?”
True Blue came to a sudden halt, his legs seizing up underneath him. Wide-eyed, he gazed forward at nothing, thoughts cascading through his mind.
“What?! Lunch with the princess? WHAT?! I did not get any letter this morn—” Blue’s thoughts came to a screeching halt as he remembered what chore he had forgotten to do this morning. Several blocks over, within a certain pony’s post office box, a letter adorned with the royal seal of Equestria itself lay unseen and unread.
True Blue raised his head, looking up at the guard, who had turned around after noticing Blue was no longer following.
“I, uh, forgot to check my mail today…sir.”
A momentary look of pity flashed across the formerly angry stallion’s. The guard stepped forward and gave Blue a comforting pat on the shoulder.
“Well that IS unfortunate.”
Viscount True Blue
The Noble House Spear
P.O. Box 124
Ponyville, EQ
We have recently noticed some strange occurrences within our Royal Guard. These occurrences appear to be related to certain recruits; namely, those whom you have recruited. We hope that you may be able to shed some light on the subject, as the implications of it are quite concerning. Please be prepared to meet with us at high noon at the “La Verite Revelee Café” in Ponyville upon the morrow, March 22nd.
Regards,
Princess Celestia
Diarch of Equestria, Bringer of Light, Herald of the Day, Ruler of the Sun
The Royal Castle
Canterlot, EQ
Stats
Page generated in 0.017 seconds
Total duration
652 users online
860,570 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
His ancestor was Delusional Spear... So the madness all stems from a Royal Guard who got traumatized by seeing Celestia vaporize a Griffon Army telling a tall tale his descendants took as truth. 🤣
Still, nicely done! Good luck in school!