Cows & More on Strike

by ThePinkedWonder

Chapter 1: Start of a strike & royal problems

“I gotta say, Starlight, yer bucking is pretty good,” Applejack said as she trotted from her apple trees and through her farm’s field. The cowpony was carrying a bucket – filled to the brim with apples – on her back. “Maybe we should check and make sure ya ain’t a distant Apple.”

“Maybe,” Starlight Glimmer said with a bashful smile, trotting beside Applejack with a matching bucket of apples on her back, “but I bet a lot of unicorns can buck apple trees as well as me.”

“I wouldn’t sell yourself short. I don’t know if Twilight could have done so well when she was still a unicorn.” Applejack chuckled heartily to herself. “I still remember when she tried to pull a snowplow during her first Winter Wrap Up, but she couldn’t budge it an inch. She even had to cast some spell to move it.”

“It must have been bad if she used magic...even though she told me not to rely on spells to solve my problems…” Starlight frowned. A budding spark of anger crackled in her eyes. “Over and over again...and yet she did.”

“Well, she really made a mess of things with her harebrained spell. Heh heh, ya should have seen what she did the time she was ‘tardy’.”

The frown on Starlight’s lips brightened to its former cheerful smile. “It couldn’t be as bad as when I...gave you all a magical ‘hangover’ three weeks ago.”

“Or steal Cutie Marks to make everypony the ‘same’, or try to change the past,” Applejack pointed out more sternly. Her smile stiffened into a hard, nonsense frown.

“Y-yeah, that too.” The reformed-ish unicorn shrank away, a sheepish grin curling on her lips.

“At least you now know that even if we have different Cutie Marks, we’re the same at our cores. We’re all ponies.”

“Hee hee, true. We are the same in that regard.”

“We sure are.”

In the grazing fields, one of two cows, Bov-let, disapprovingly shook her head as the pair listened in on Applejack’s and Starlight’s conversation.

“Moo-ine, did you hear that?”

“Yep,” Moo-ine answered. She took a bite from some grass and chewed it as she spoke, “How dare Applejack talk about everypony being ‘the same’, yet her family is cheap with the bits they pay us weekly?!”

Bov-let huffed, glaring at the oblivious Applejack. “Maybe it’s because we aren’t ponies.”

“You know what? We should demand a big raise. If they don’t give it, we could go on strike!”

Bov-let smirked. “Good idea, and I bet the other cows will be on board. Either the Apple family pays up, or they’ll have to drink pony milk if they want milk.”

---

Two hours later...

As Applejack strolled through her field, Bov-let called out, “Hey, Applejack.”

“Hey.” Applejack trotted to Bov-let and Moo-ine. “Is somethin’ wrong?”

“Moo-ine and I were thinking that we should get a raise. We’re stuck here, and we cows provide you a lot of milk. Given all that, we don’t think the five hundred bits a week we each get is fair.”

“We talked it over with the other cows, and we all agree,” Moo-ine said. “Some were even thinking it for months, but kept it to themselves.”

“Oh.” Applejack glanced toward her house. “I’ll talk to Granny Smith, but I think we can give–”

“One-thousand and two hundred bits a week,” Bov-let plainly stated.

Applejack’s eyes widened. “How much now?!”

“Well, as I said, we’re here all the time, and eating enough hay to produce the milk you need is not easy.” Bov-let scowled. “I bet if we were ponies you wouldn’t mind.”

“What the hay got into you?! It’s not because yer aren’t equal to ponies, but it’s just–”

Moo-ine’s sharp scowl deepened. “Then pay up!”

Applejack growled and pointed a hoof at Moo-ine. “At best, y’all might be able to get eight hundred bits, but no more than that!”

Moo-ine raised her head in defiance and turned away. “Then we’re going on strike! Get your milk somewhere else!”

“Fine!” Applejack stomped a hoof, sending mud splattering from the hoof’s slam. “Go ahead and have yer strike!”

“We will!” Bov-let stomped a hoof, matching the impact and mud-kicking of Applejack’s stomp. “We didn’t like it here anyway!”

---

One month later…

A group of cows marched in front of Sweet Apple Acres’s entrance, all wearing signs that flanked them. The signs either said “Strike!”, “Cows are ponies too” (they should have worded that one better), a picture of an apple in a cross-out symbol, or other anti-Apple phrases or pictures.

“Apple family is unfair! Fair pay for cows!”

Inside her living room, Applejack peeked out of a window and sighed dejectedly. “I can’t believe they’re still at it. I think the chickens somehow got into the act too, because they stopped layin’ eggs.”

“I know,” Apple Bloom said while whirling a hula hoop around her torso. And no, the filly wasn’t stricken with Cutie Pox again; she’s genuinely good at hula-hooping. “Can’t you just pay the cows what they want?”

Applejack shook her head. “No. That’d be pricier than not sellin’ any milk or eggs in the long run.”

“Eeyep,” Big Mac commented, reading a book called “Life of being the only male in a household.”

Rocking in a rocking chair, creaks cutting the air with each rock, Granny Smith said, “Besides, this ain’t my first rodeo of dealin’ with strikes.”

Apple Bloom stopped hula-hooping. “It’s not?”

“Nope. Before any of y’all were born, some of our cows went on one. Claimed we took too much milk and didn’t pay enough.”

“Really? What happened?” Applejack asked.

“After around two months of having to feed themselves after being so used to us feedin’ ‘em, the cows got sick of it and ended their strike. But, to show there were no hard feelings, we raised the bits we paid them by fifty.” She stopped rocking and gazed at a picture of Bright Mac hanging proudly on a wall. “That raise was yer pa’s idea. That boy was too sweet for his own good.”

“I see.” Applejack rubbed her cheek. “So we just gotta wait ‘em out?”

“Yep! I’m all for givin’ them a raise, but one-thousand and two hundred bits a week for each of them is too much!”

Apple Bloom said, “I hope everypony’s okay with not havin’ milk for a while.”

“At least it’s only our cows and chickens on strike,” Applejack peeked out her window again. “It’d be far worse if others join in and force our hooves.”

---

In the Crystal Empire...

Prince Shining Armor, captain of the Royal Guards, paced back and forth by the Crystal Palace’s doors. His typically lush light and dark-blue-streaked mane was rugged and spiky.

“Strike, strike, strike…” a voice seemed to chant from the nearby Crystal Heart. It sliced the power it emitted by half, dimming as a result.

Shining halted his pacing and swung his head to the heart.

The voices ceased. However, the relic pulsed an aura of tenseness that sent quivers down Shining’s back.

After a moment, he sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I’m more stressed than I thought.” He resumed his pacing and muttered, “I hope a store finally has milk in stock. It’s bad enough the Crystal Heart has been weakening over the last three weeks, but if we stay out of–”

A guard adorned in gold armor (too bad it – like those guards – was borderline useless against threats) ran up to Shining. “Captain, I have bad news. No store had milk.”

“Again?!” He released a disheartened moan. “This is bad. I can barely–”

“Hey, Prince Shining Armor! What’s going on with the stores’ lack of milk?!” a scowling female crystal pony asked.

He answered, “I-I’m confused about what’s going on as we–”

“I bet you and Princess Cadance are hogging it!” another crystal pony, a stallion, yelled as he pointed an accusatory hoof at Shining.

“Strike, strike, strike,” the Crystal Heart muttered again. Seriously. “Pay those cows, or I walk!”

The Prince stared at that heart. “Were you talking?”

“Yes, I am,” the aggressive stallion answered, “and you are keeping all the milk to yourself and Princess Cadance, aren’t you?!”

“N-no! This isn’t like that cheese...shortage.” Shining backed away. “Back then, Cadance was going through a ph–”

“A likely story!” Another nearby mare blew a blow horn. A swarm of scowling crystal ponies flocked in front of Shining Armor and his guard in lines.

“Okay, long story short: they hoarded the milk, just like they did cheese four months ago!” The mare holding the blow horn shouted. “Let’s go with plan ‘C’ and charge in!”

The Captain and his guard gulped. They darted inside the castle, slammed shut its door, and Shining cast a massive magical barrier over his suddenly under siege palace.

Outside, ponies threw themselves – and fellow ponies – at the rose-colored shield and bounced off it.

Boy, that escalated quickly. It ruined this story’s already suspect pacing.

“Uh, if I may be so bold, couldn’t you have explained to them that you have nothing to do with this shortage?”

His horn still glowing, Shining answered, “I tried, and didn’t you see how it went? Crystal ponies are extremely irrational, even brutal, when they think you’re hiding stuff from them. It’s made worse still when they are thirsty for milk.”

“Understood. But what should we–”

A feminine, yet monstrous roar boomed through the castle.

Shining Armor’s ears wilted to lay across his head. “Oh no. Cadance is losing patience for milk too. Her roars are growing louder and more frequent.”

“Should I send somepony to another town and see if any of their stores have milk in stock? I...*gulp*...don’t have ‘death by grumpy but benevolent alicorns’ covered on my life insurance. It only covers for evil ones.”

“I’m starting to wish mine did, but sending somepony to search for milk outside the city is a great idea. Tell whoever goes to duck out the palace’s second or third secret door.”

“Okay. I’ll find somepony at once.” The guard hurried down a hallway.

Now alone, Shining planted his hooves, gritted his teeth, and battled to maintain his barrier against the outside mob’s relentless impacts. However, thinking about the vastly more frightening albeit drop-dead gorgeous alicorn boding in their bedroom, Shining said to himself, “Mom warned me about alicorns, yet I still married one. I hope whoever marries Twily has better luck when she’s in bad moods.”

---

In Canterlot Castle…

Two guards covered in gold armor, like the Crystal Empire’s guards were, marched into the castle’s throne room.

One of them said, “Princess Celestia, we’re sorry, but the store is sold out again. Their main supplier of milk still hasn’t been able to sell them any.”

Celestia’s ears drooped, and she slumped forward. “Did they at least have any idea when they might receive some?”

The second guard answered, “Sadly, they don’t, and they are facing other problems too, such as their cash registers ceasing to operate. Some of their employees even thought one said ‘strike, strike, strike,’ or ‘pay those cows’, though I’m sure it was in their minds.”

“I see.” Celestia gazed toward a banner of Princess Luna hanging from the ceiling. “I hate to ask, but would you mind informing my sister of the...news?”

“T-tell Princess Luna?” A guard crept back. “Uh, I don’t think I should bother her–”

The other guard whirled himself and his partner around to face the other direction, and whispered. “Are you out of your mind? We can’t refuse a request from Celestia! She’s kind, but she’s still Princess Celestia!”

“I know, but I don’t want to go anywhere near Luna! You know the mood she’s in!”

“I understand, but as your superior, I order you to go.” He wrapped a foreleg around his subordinate’s neck. “Think of it this way, Cloudy: this is your chance to move up in the ranks. Plus, unlike ponies living in the Crystal Empire, your life insurance covers death by any alicorn.”

Droplets of sweat rolled down Cloudy’s forehead, yet he managed to nod affirmatively. “As you command. On days like these, I wish I had listened to my father and became a writer.”

The pair turned back to their Princess, and Cloudy said, “Okay, I will tell Princess Luna.”

After his potentially last words, Cloudy dawdled out the throne room.

“WHAT?!” a female voice bellowed. A *boom!* from the voice’s source fired tremors throughout the castle.

Celestia winced. “Why didn’t I think to cast a protection spell on him, just in case?”

Cloudy wobbled back into the throne room, his mane, coat, and armor singed. “Princess Luna will need another venting doll. The last one didn’t withstand her...frustration.” His knees buckled, and he collapsed with a thud. “If I were a foot closer to it, my wife would be a rich mare now.”

Princess Luna stomped inside and to Celestia, glaring her in the eyes. She bore an intense scowl, on par with Nightmare Moon’s.

Celestia tittered and slowly waved a greeting hoof. “Um, hello, Lu–”

“Celestia, this is ridiculous! I haven’t had any milk to go along with my cookies in ages!”

“It’s only been two weeks since–”

“Well, it feels like ages! Ugh!” Luna stormed out, mumbling under her breath. Guards in hallways jumped out of the volatile alicorn’s way and stood erect with submissive grins.

“Should we prepare the next doll for you to enchant with an ultra-durability spell?” The (for now) unharmed guard asked.

“Yes, and bring me five extra ones. I have a hunch Luna will ‘wear out’ the next one before the week is over.”

A new guard trotted into the throne room. “Princess Celestia, I have bad news and worse news.”

“As if we needed either.” Celestia moaned. She composed herself and said, “Let’s begin with the bad news.”

“Our ovens stopped turning on, and we can’t figure out why.”

Celestia facehoofed. “When it rains, it pours. Now I can’t even eat my usual five cakes as my stress relief.” ‘And without my cakes, I don’t know if I can take another week of Luna’s complaining!'

*Boom!*

Another alicorn-triggered Equusquake rocked the palace.

“Oh, dear. Luna is going to bring down the castle at this rate. I shouldn’t run to–I mean, request for Twilight to fix something like this.” Celestia stared upward pensively and lightly tapped her cheek. “I believe our stores receive most of their milk from the Apple family, so I will pay them a visit. Perhaps I can–”

*Boom!*

After the third equusquake ended, Celestia gulped. “B-before I leave, I should cast protection spells on all of you as a safeguard. Oh, before I forget, what is the worst news?”

“Princess Blueblood wants his own area of Equestria to rule, again,” he answered with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

The mare moaned. “Not this again...wait, you mean, ‘Prince Blueblood’?”

“I know what I said,” the guard said bluntly. His eyes enlarged as if he was suddenly aware of whom he was speaking to. “Uh, with all due respect to you and the other princesses.”

“It’s okay, and you can tell ‘Princess’ Blueblood that I will consider it,” Celestia said, giving an understanding smile. She couldn’t admit she had similar thoughts about Blueblood’s at times divaish whining, even if “diva” isn’t a word in Equestria. “At any rate, after I cast the protection spells, I will hurry to Ponyville.”

Hoping that her message would persuade her nephew to stop pestering her for the moment, and be happy she granted him his prince status, Celestia cast her protection spells and departed Canterlot.

How about that? Even if it weren’t due to a villain, Princess Celestia might save the day herself this time!

Author's Note:

It looks like Twilight might get to sit this one out. Princess Celestia is aiming to fix this mess herself!

But will she?