Princess Twilight's Guide to Reforming Villains

by bookhorse125

How To Reform A Muscle-Bound Cretin

Based on the pattern of the last few, you can probably guess what I'm going to say.

Yup. Still no idea.

Sigh. This is getting frustrating.

But, just like with the evil bug queen, though we have not actually succeeded in reforming this villain, we do have a few ideas on how to make it possible.

First thing you need to know: this muscle-bound cretin was raised by the most amazing dad in the universe. This guy wins all the awards - Worst Father Ever, Most Likely To Raise A Child Who Will Try To Destroy The World, Singular Continuity From The Comics, the whole shabang. Good ol' King Vorak. In fact, he was such a lovely guy that he (whether accidentally or on purpose, the world may never know) caused the muscle-bound cretin to seek to devour magic, which is something he could do, so that he could compensate for the fact that he was afraid he would never please dear old dad, in the 'wise' words of Discord.

Anyways, so the muscle-bound cretin and his brother came to the land of ponies to steal all their magic, but then the brother decided that ponies weren't so bad and forever committed himself to bronydom. His muscle-bound cretin brother, though, refused to do this as well, so the new brony turned him in and sent him to basically pony h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

This guy wins all the awards for best brother, clearly.

So the muscle-bound cretin spent a couple centuries in the most lovely place in Equestria, seething with anger. Here's a tip: do NOT let your enemies spend a couple centuries seething and plotting their revenge. It won't end well.

The muscle-bound cretin eventually escapes, nearly takes over the world, fails, gets sent back to his lovely prison, acquires a pen pal who fails to take over the world, and then gains a roommate. Then he escapes again and almost takes over the world again - geez, we really need a better Tartarus, preferably one that is harder to escape from - and gets turned to stone, where he can spend a couple more centuries seething and plotting his revenge. I see this ending well. And, no, I was not the one who turned them to stone. It wasn't even my idea, so stop looking at me like that.

But there is a simple way to reform this muscle-bound cretin - show him that you do not need to listen to your parents if what they are doing is not what's best for you. If your parents are asking you to jump off a bridge, don't do it. If they are influencing you to be a school bully and get everything you want by being cruel, don't do it. And, most importantly, if your lovely award-winning dad is making you feel like you need to steal all the magic in the world to be worth anything to him, don't do it! You don't need other ponies' approval for anything you do, and if your parents are terrible parents, no matter how many awards they win, do not listen to them. Talk to them and perhaps change them for the better if you're lucky - ditch 'em and run away if you're not.

But that's just about how you reform a muscle-bound cretin. And, no, definitely not easy, because if you fail, he will probably steal your magic and begin a campaign to take over the world and exact the revenge he's had a couple centuries to think about.

Author's Note:

Constructive criticism is appreciated. Thank you for reading!

Comments

[Stet709]

I take it this is only FiM villains since Sunset was skipped over. But at least somepony somewhat similar is next

[bookhorse125]

11199006
Maybe I'll get to EQG villains after I do FiM villains. Don't really know yet.

[Stet709]

11199049
Would be interesting since Twilight was only there for two villains. The rest would be based on anecdotes from Sunset (and Starlight in one case)

[Hedonism Bot]

geez, we really need a better Tartarus, preferably one that is harder to escape from

At the very least, one where prisoner mail is monitored.