Princess Twilight's Guide to Reforming Villains

by bookhorse125

How To Reform A Chaos God

Reforming a chaos god who wants to turn the world into an endless abyss of chaos is actually pretty simple: just have a tea party with him!

Here are the supplies you will need:

One incredibly shy pony who only starts warming up to you when she sees your baby dragon
One draconequus chaos lord who originally destroyed the world, was blasted with rainbow lasers, turned to stone, set free, destroyed the world again, was turned to stone again, was set free again, and almost destroyed the world. Not quite, this time
One apple farm
A couple of beavers (preferably ones you aren't too attached to so that you won't mind them being mind-controlled)

Now that you have gathered all your supplies, it is time to begin. Start by turning the draconequus chaos lord to stone using magic rainbow lasers. You can always call the "Magic of Friendship Rainbow Lasers" hotline if you need to. Then call the "Magic of Friendship Rainbow Lasers" hotline again to turn the chaos lord back from being stone. Then turn a blind eye while he mind-controls your beavers, making them go all red-eyed and saying swears and building a huge dam in the middle of the river that goes through the apple farm.

While your mind-controlled beavers are building their dam, take the chaos lord and send him to the incredibly shy pony's house, where he'll turn the whole place upside down (literally) and set up a tea party for you and your friends. Then when your friends arrive, make sure the whole thing goes horribly wrong so that your friends are starting to doubt the shy pony's new chaos lord draconequus friend, even though shy pony secretly now has a crush on him, so she won't let her friends diss on him. She still insists that he can be reformed and refuses to give up on her mission.

Now you'll all need to go to the apple farm, where you'll see a whole bunch of water all over the place, because your mind-controlled beavers have been busy, and their dam has flooded the whole apple farm, so you have to go around in little boats to get the apples floating in the water. Then have the chaos lord go waterskiing on the water, and have shy pony ask him really nicely to get rid of the water. But the chaos lord tells shy pony that he will only get rid of the water if she promises not to turn him to stone, so shy pony agrees, much to her friends' dismay, who probably now all think that shy pony is dumb. I will admit, I did think that was a very steep deal, and Fluttershy should NOT have risked it.

Turns out, I was right. The chaos lord just froze the water, so now he's going ice skating and scoring tens. Okay, fine, I was extremely jealous. When it comes to ice skating, I've never gotten above a 5.6 in my life. My experiences during my first winter wrap-up were enough to convince me of that. Anyways, shy pony can't really do anything but continue playing the role of chaos lord's friend, until she gets so fed up with him boasting about it that she threatens to break up with him.

Who knew that chaos lords had romantic streaks? Anyways, shy pony denied being chaos lord's friend, and chaos lord was very sad, because he also had a crush on shy pony. So he fixed everything, and he and shy pony started dating, and they never had to turn him to stone again.

Oh, and if he ever turns back to evil, just remind him of everything he had, and he'll come back around. This doesn't mean he still won't make dumb decisions, though. Maybe he'll pretend to be an ancient monster and bring back three of your worst enemies and force them to work together so that he can launch an epic attack on you at your freaking CORONATION to become RULER OF EQUESTRIA to BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE. Or, at least, that's what he says. Who knows what was really going on?

And please don't tell Fluttershy about the dating. She's already mad at me for accidentally kicking one of her animals at her sanctuary because it scared me. So... just don't mention anything here, okay? Just say that all I did was talk about what a great job she did reforming Discord. Absolutely nothing romantic was mentioned.

Author's Note:

Constructive criticism is appreciated. Thank you for reading!

Comments

[GuardianDemonsWriter]

Discord here! Just want to let you know that ol' Sparkle here forgot to mention that I may (or may not have) come from a universe where I constantly annoyed a bald captain of a ship. This ship traveled through outer space.