Dipper V.S. Manliness
FUSION FALLS: TAKE TWO!
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
I THANK AND OW GOD FOR EVERYTHING!
...III...
Dipper washed his face off then looked deep into the mirror...he'd just taken a shower and currently wore just a towel...he gave himself a bit of a look-over...the scrawny noodle-armed boy who'd come to his Grunkle's Shack in the middle of nowhere was...well, he was still THERE...but now there was maybe something else...? He had some cool 'battle scars' now if nothing else. Dipper blushed at the memories of a naked Wendy crying over him in the hospital...
He looked at himself once more...
Between fighting monsters, running for his life from MORE monsters, and Grunkle Stan giving him more chores then Social Services would EVER allow...
Dipper flexed his biceps...there was DEFINITELY something forming there...perhaps...
And just like that, his towel fell off, exposing the one male 'muscle' that CLEARLY wasn't planning on growing anytime soon...
Dipper let out a resigned sigh as his brief fantasy shattered. He then got dressed just in time for his Grunkle to take them out to eat...and right past Tyler Cutebiker-
"Puma shirt? Panther shirt? Puma shirt? Panther shirt? Pum-
POW!
Tyler whimpered in pain as the giant men wearing only a loincloth punched him in the stomach, they laughed wickedly and smirked as Stan drove away oblivious...
....
Hey girl, hey girl
don't lie to me
tell me where did you sleep last night
In the pines, in the pines
where the sun never shines
I will shiver the whole night through
Hey girl, hey girl
where will you go
I'm going where the cold wind blows
In the pines, in the pines
where the sun don't ever shine
I will shiver the whole night through
Hey girl, hey girl
don't lie to me
tell me where did you sleep last night
...
Greasy's Diner is a local diner in Gravity Falls, which is in the shape of a log.
It's a typical restaurant that serves breakfast pancakes and other traditional American foods. Of course since the Merge many of the resident non-humans now show up at the diner for something to eat.
It's normal to see several fairies all sharing a pancake, a gremlin sitting at a booth ordering something, and deer women getting something to eat before or after work. And with the summer's rush of tourist coming to the sleepy town, it's now very busy.
One of the new waitress hits a woodpecker and a beaver- "HEY! Knock it off!" Snaps Norbert as he rubs the bump on his head -with a broom, Old Man Mcgucket is drinking a lot of coffee, Sheriff Blubs is eating pancakes very quickly while Deputy Durland points a speeding device at him, a certain blonde heiress was looking annoyed as she read the paper...
This is around the time Stan, Dipper and Mabel enter the diner, spotting a empty table the 3 made their way through the crowd. the three Pines were too hungry to notice, but people were giving them looks...well, one of them anyway...
Once Dipper, Mabel, and Stan got to the table, they sat down and waited for someone to get their order. Stan read the paper that's on the table, reading the headline of 'Pacific City Agency merges with SCP Foundation to help XJ9 fight new A.I. menace'. That's when Lazy Susan walks up to the table to get their order.
"Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?" Stan asked.
"I got hit by a bus!" Lazy Susan said.
"Ha ha ha ha! Hilarious!" Stan laughs.
"Thank you. Ha ha ha ha hee hee ho ho ho," Lazy Susan said laughing.
"You do split plates, right?" Stan ask.
"Maybe...," Lazy Susan said making her lazy eye wink. "Wink!"
"Great! We'll all split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the lady, and a small plate of ketchup for the boy," Stan said.
"Got it," Lazy Susan said writing it down and walks off.
"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!" Mabel said.
"With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?" Stan ask as a piece of a bill shows out of Stan's sleeve, which he taps it back down. "Tap tap."
"Awww...," Mabel said.
Dipper looks over and sees the Manliness Tester, advertising a prize of free pancakes.
"Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester," Dipper said.
"Manliness Tester?" Stan ask.
"Beating?" Mabel also asked before she and Stan started laughing.
Neither notice a certain girl overhearing and getting interested...
"He says he's... he says he... HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Stan laughs.
"What? What's so funny?" Dipper said.
"Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly 'Manly Mannington.' Ha ha ha!" Mabel said.
"Hey, I am too "Manly... Manny" or whatever it is you said," Dipper said.
"Look, face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's... 'incident'," Stan said.
...Flashback...
Dipper is in the bathroom wearing just a towel and singing at the mirror with a comb as the microphone.
"Disco girl...coming through...that girl is you...," Dipper is singing.
Stan walks into the bathroom.
"DON'T COME IN! DON'T COME IN!" Dipper shouted.
...
"You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation 'BABBA'?" Mabel ask.
"No. Heh heh, I wasn't. It's not important. Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine. You see this chest hair?" Dipper said as she brings down his shirt, to show his chest and it shines very brightly.
"Put it away, put it away!" Mabel shouted.
"So smooth! My eyes!" Stan shouted being blinded.
"Aw man...," Dipper said putting back his shirt.
Stan and Mabel burst out laughing again.
Their laughter overshadows Pacifica chuckling. Who- although also blinded -got some nice pictures of his hairless chest...
"Fine, 'family of little faith'. Get ready to eat your words. And a plate a delicious pancakes," Dipper said as he walks toward the manliness tester as other people eating watch. "Alright, Dipper. Time to manhandle this...man handle..."
Dipper stares up at the machine and starts sweating. "And a one and a two..."
"Quit stalling!" Stan said.
Dipper starts tugging on the handle and the light starts moving toward the category he belongs in. The categories are "wimp," "middle-aged woman," "barely possible," "man," and "manly man." Dipper keeps on pulling the handle until the light goes down to "wimp." A card comes out of the machine that says 'You are a cutie patootie!'
"Oh, what? This thing must be broken. It's totally broken, guys. It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or-," Dipper was saying till he gets pushed out of the way by Manly Dan.
Velma sighed, "Sweetie-
But Manly Dan just cracks his knuckles ignoring his wife as his sons watch him. Wendy was not here. Between still shaken from the whole 'Dusk 2 Dawn' ordeal and other 'issues'; She was spending time by herself rethinking everything...
"It's rickety man, you shouldn't even-," Dipper was saying.
Manly Dan pushes on the handle with his pinky and the machine automatically goes to "Manly Man" before exploding and giving everyone free pancakes.
"Yes! Pancakes for everyone!" Manly Dan shouted. Velma just shakes her head...
Everyone at the restaurant cheers. A pancake falls on Dipper's head. Mabel and Stan laugh at Dipper.
"I need to get some chest hair and fast," Dipper said. He starts running out but is tripped by a beaver- "Hey! Watch it!" Snaps Dagget.
"I'm fine! Heh heh! Everything's fine!" Dipper shouts as he continues runs out leaving everyone else to enjoy the pancakes and the beaver shakes his fist at him...only to be knocked over again as a VERY amused Pacifica secretly ran after Dipper...
Velma groans as Dipper runs out before she could make Dan apologize...she knew he was just asserting his authority over Wendy's 'chosen', but that was going too far! That boy deserved better after what the did for their daughter!
...In the forest ...
Wendy was wandering around in the woods near the forest commune of her aunts. Since the merge many deer women around gravity falls have tried integrating themselves into a more urban settings...but mostly to find more men, better income and BETTER parties. Most Deer woman are still reluctant to leave the woods.
And of course the whole 'au naturel' attitude and increasingly lackluster nudity laws made for the occasional uproar...
Wendy was naked, she was practicing her deer form. But mostly she just wandered about nude in the privacy of the woods...
After her parents found the antlers in her room- and allowing her to keep Dipper company until he got better -they had a LONG talk with her...
Wendy had always felt ashamed of being related to- in her mind - a bunch of sex crazed nymphomaniac's...she'd been mostly able to ignore the whole thing back before the Cleaving when her family was forced to hide their heritage and their nudity...now...not so much...
It most certainly didn't help that she was going through the 'big change' several years early!
But Dipper sacrificing his dignity and- nearly -his life made her realize how silly that all was...besides, her embracing her deer side was what kept Dipper from getting killed by those wax dummies...how was that NOT a good thing?
Speaking of Dipper...
...
SHUT UP!
Everyone looked at Dipper stunned. "Wendy is the nicest, strongest, coolest, smartest, most amazing woman I've ever meet! I don't care if I never have sex with her! She's my friend, she's a good person, and saving her is the right thing to do! SO I'M DOING IT! SO GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Said Dipper in-between gobs of blood leaking out from his mouth...
...
Wendy smiled at that memory...if Dipper thought she was cool and didn't think she was a slut...then the rest of the world could go fuck itself...She was a deer woman dammit! And if she wanted to get naked and fuck, SHE WAS GOING TO STREAKING FUCK!
With this new liberated mindset: She was spending more time learning her heritage, being naked, frolicking in the woods, practicing her sex magic and transformation.
Now that she was no longer repressing her 'true' self, her urges were less sever and easier to control...at least when not around Dipper...
Evidently the reason why her 'big change' was happening early was because Dipper possessed the ULTIMATE turn-on for Deer woman: The HEART of a true HERO.
It hadn't fully developed yet due to him being so young...but there was potential...and all the adventures he'd experienced since coming to Gravity Falls was only making it mature faster...
If he was only older...
Wendy shook her head, best not to think down that path...Even if she was willing to overlook the age difference...she had her own 'baggage' to deal with...
Still...Dipper was a nice guy...while most kids his age thought of Pokemon and poptarts...Dipper was actually interested in serious things in a relationship...at the very least she should help him find another girl to be with...but who?
CRACK!
Wendy was so distracted by her inner-turmoil...she never saw it coming before it was too late...
...
Dipper was having a funtime with his new manitour buddies. Punching stuff, partying, punching stuff, relaxing in a hotspring naked...punching stuff...
It all made him feel like a REAL man..a real man that was VERY tired... Chutzpar told him he had a while before his FINAL test ceremony was to begin and that pain hole had REAL taken a lot out of him...
So wanting to make sure he was fresh for becoming a man...he sleeps in some shrubs...
Which is exactly what Pacifica had been waiting for...
She'd been following him all day...throwing his real clothes down the incinerator while no one was looking, taking pictures of his loincloth clad form- FOR STRICTLY BLACKMAIL PURPOSES; as she would constantly justify to herself...
She sneaks up on him...blushes a she gets close to his almost bare form...then slowly lifts up his loincloth...then snickers... "Some man." She mocks...while deep down she's REALLY thinking 'So tiny...so cute...'
She quickly throws that thought aside...She takes a few pictures of his minuscule genitals- FOR BLACKMAIL PURPOSES!(she would AGAIN angrily screech to any who asked).
She was about to back away and leave...
"Wendy..." Mumbled Dipper to himself, a happy smile on his still sleepy face.
Pacifica snarled, 'Stupid red-head with big boobs...trying to impress her? Well let's see how she likes this!' She pulls out a permanent marker...
"Uh, shouldn't we help Destructor?" Asked one of the Manitour secretly watching this from nearby.
"Dude, everyone knows the unspoken exception to the 'Men fear nothing' rule, is a pissed off woman! He's on his own!" Said his friend...
Dipper, eye's lazily opened and saw...Pacifica snickering!? She was bent over him as she put the final touches on-
"WHAT THE BLOOD!?" Snapped Dipper as he jumped up, startling Pacifica. Written across his belly were the words:
VIENNA SAUSAGE FOR SALE!
FREE OR BEST OFFER!
With an arrow pointing toward his GENITALS!
"Oh, snap!" The manitour couldn't help it...they HAD to laugh!
A mortified Dipper frantically tried to rub it off, but it was special perma-mystic brand! He was stuck with it for life! Dipper snarled, "What the hell!?" He barked angrily.
Pacifica was a A bit taken aback from getting caught, but she quickly reasserts herself. "I'm just reminding you not to get caught up in your little man-fantasy." She saunters over, an uncomfortable and flustered Dipper- suddenly VERY self-aware he was practically naked in front of a cute girl -found himself losing ground to her and being backed up against the wall.
Pacifica presses up against him. "It's been amusing watching you pretend to be a man. But who are you trying to fool?" Feeling very bold, she reached down and 'cupped' his loins, earning a startled 'eep' from a mortified Dipper.
While the manitour just shuffled about uncomfortable at the sight of one of their own being so brutally emasculated...but also perhaps...a bit jealous?
"You can prance about all day in a loincloth, punching things and screaming at the top of your lungs. But I think we both know that this- Dipper let's out an involuntary moan as she squeezed his man meat -more then proves that your more girl then boy." Mocked Pacifica eagerly...who despite her confidence was starting to feel a bit 'hot under the collar' herself...even more so when she felt Dipper's 'reaction'.
"Oh! Well, unless you've somehow managed to stuff a micro-sock down there without me noticing...looks like you like this, weirdo?" She squeezes it even more, Dipper's legs were now jelly...his eyes heavy with tears of shame...but DANG if he wasn't horny as all get out!
Pacifica laughed, dang it all if she was enjoying this! She was just as horny as Dipper was, sadly for him she was better at hiding it. "Savor this you freak of nature, this is the closest you'll ever get to a 'woman's touch' down 'there'. Your dink is so pathetic that it couldn't penetrate Swiss cheese!"
The manitour's cringed, dang that was just COLD! They felt that BURN from 10 feet away!
"Oh, and what have we here?"
Dipper blinks away the tears and shame...and looks to where she was gesturing...IT WAS A CHEST HAIR! HE HAD AN HONEST TO GOODNESS-
And then she grabbed it...
Dipper's eye's went wide... "No...please...come on...I've waited so long..." He implored, he NEEDED this...
Pacifica eagerly laps up his pleading, "Make a WISH-
pluck
Dipper felt his heart sank...as the last shred of masculinity he had was taken away...and blown into his face...
Pacifica was happy, she had the boy that had taken out monsters on his knees BEGGING. She felt elated, on top of the world, invincible, unstoppable...so of course she finally pushed it too far...
"I just wished that whore Corduroy was here, why you'd lower yourself to love a sex-addicted Deer fucker I'll never-
CRACK!
Pacifica tasted the blood in her mouth before her body hit the ground. She looked up stunned, she'd torn his loincloth off on the way down but Dipper didn't care, DIPPER WAS PISSED!
To Pacifica's shock she found herself being forcibly pulled off the ground and slammed against the wall.
"NEVER BADMOUTH WENDY!" Screamed Dipper.
"Insulted His Mate?" Whispered one Manitour to the other. "Insulted his mate." Agreed the other.
Another tsked, "And she was SO in control until then..."
"YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU SPOILED BRAT! WENDY IS WORTH A HUNDRED OF YOU! AND WHO ARE YOU TO LOOK DOWN AT HER- OR ANYONE!? LET'S SEE HOW YOU- Before Pacifica can blink, her clothes are ripped off -HA! CALL ME 'SMALL'!? LOOK AT YOU! AT LEAST I HAVE MINE, YOUR'S MIGHT AS WELL NOT EXIST!- He angrily berates her flat chest -AND IF NOTHING ELSE; AT LEAST WENDY AND I ARE LOVED! WHAT ABOUT YOU!? WOULD ANY OF YOUR HUNDREDS OF SYCOPHANTS GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOU WITHOUT YOUR MONEY AND FAME!? I HAVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MY BACK! CAN YOU SAY THE SAME?! IF YOU DIED TOMORROW WOULD ANYONE CARE?! IF YOU TRIPPED AND BROKE YOUR NECK, WOULD ANYONE WEEP!? NO!YOUR THE WORST LINK OF A CHAIN OF ASSHOLES! I BET MY DICK THAT THEY WOULD ALL SING 'DING, DONG THE BLONDE BITCH IS DEAD! HALLELUJAH, HOLY SHIT!'" He tosses her to the ground. "NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I DISCARD THE LAST SHRED OF MY APPARENTLY USELESS MANHOOD AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH!"
Pacifica ran away naked and in fear of her life...sobbing...
Dipper glares after her...takes several deep breath's...then collapses to the ground exhausted... "Holy crap...did I seriously just do that? Oh, man...I...I can't feel my legs...Wow, I'm shaking...I'm seriously shaking..."
He looks over to the stunned looks of the manitour, Dipper snorts. "Okay, fine. I get it, I'm out. Just give me a moment to recover and I'll leave."
"The hell you are! THAT ROCKED!" Shouted one of them and the others cheered in agreement.
"Wait, what?" Asked Dipper confused.
"Buddy, you destroyed that girl! Which, ordinarily we'd be against...but since you were protecting your mate that makes it okay! AND AWESOME!" Again, this sentiment is eagerly cheered on.
Dipper sighed, "She's not my mate...she's so out of my league...my chances...well...what 'chances'? He admitted somberly.
The manitour are a little confused by this statement, but press on. "We'll if nothing else. Your a man to us." Many cheer their agreement.
Dipper looked at them surprised, "What about my final trial?" He asked confused.
"Right, were going to level with you: the final trial was just for you to kill that wussy multi-bear who listen to girly BABBA music all day..."
Dipper looks at them horrified, "You were going to have me MURDER a sapient creature just because of his taste in music!?"
The manitour blanched...then looked thoughtful, "Huh...wow, when you say it out loud...that DOSE sound horrible...I guess we'll have to rethink that...but whatever! In the meantime your a man!" They all cheered while Dipper just looked at them in shock and disgust.
It's then that Dipper realized... THESE were the people he'd idolized and saw as the perfect example of men? Well forget that! He'd rather never be a man at all then do something that horrible! ...which makes him even more depressed as he realized he'd basically wasted the whole day with nothing to show for it but a VERY embarrassing message scrawled across his chest...
A dejected Dipper politely declines their request for another party and just leaves...his clothes are found destroyed so he just put his loincloth back on...and marches off in defeat...
splat
And then he sees it... right on the manitours doorstep... WENDY'S HAT...covered in BLOOD...and the blood trailed away...leading a frantic Dipper onward...
...
North Pole -
In the frozen wastelands of the northern lands, the evil snow sorcerer known as Winterbolt made his home. He remember his ice specter being destroyed and him transforming into a tree. But thanks to the merge that brought many worlds to be merged together with spell casting magic being destroyed. Winterbolt without his magic wandered the frozen wastelands of the north, learning about this new world he found himself in and how to use the technology he came across. He manage to even get his hands on a two Mr. Handies and a protectron that were in a army supply depot that had a working IFV. He reprogram the robots using the smartphone and watching a video how to do so.
The IFV is a six wheeled vehicle designed for supporting infantry operations and transporting soldiers through the battlefield in comfort. It is a fairly tall design, with a forward driver's position, sitting over the primary engine, in a compartment isolated from the troop section. The vehicle can carry six soldiers and two power armor units in reasonable comfort in this section, with a note that power armor units must stand for transportation. For defense, it is provided with a 105mm gun in an autonomous dorsal turret and a pair of ball-mounted 76mm guns to the sides of the driver's cabin, giving it its distinctive whiskers.
And with the supplies that could fit in the truck, Winterbolt with his robot minions wandered the frozen lands. Winterbolt collected and learn as they traveled, all to gain back the power he once had. That's when he discovered the abandoned and partially destroyed city named Tesla City.
Now a year later he now rules the city with a cold iron fist. He goes by the name of Mr. Winter with the backstory of him being the only survivor of Tesla City. Which had grown in size thanks to the fact that there is a vast platinum mine underneath the city. Which thanks to the robots and the automatons which are giant steam powered robots that are built in the city's factories, he has mined around the clock, allowing him to corner the market on the rare metal. Many people come to his city to see the steampunk machines at work that can take working in below zero weather. While others came to work the mines and other jobs that are needed to keep the city running.
Winterbolt using his newfound wealth to research in gaining back his lost magic. He does have a freeze ray that he brought along with magic items that use passive magic which is the only magic besides borrowed magic that works in this world. He knows about how those Santa's and guardians have their powers thanks to The Man In The Moon giving them some of his magic.
"HELLO THERE," a voice called out surprising Winterbolt who is in his study.
"Come out," Winterbolt said putting down the amulet that protects the wearer from burns.
"I'M RIGHT HERE," Bill Cipher said as he appears on a mirror hanging over the fireplace, sipping a glass full of frozen and shattered bits of Slenderman. "AND I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU AND COME HERE TO OFFER YOU A DEAL TO GET YOU ICE MAGIC BACK."
(Feel free to add more Slenderman tortured bits here Madhat)
"What kind of deal?" Winterbolt ask recognizing a demon when he sees one and it's better to listen before taking any action against one.
Bill takes a big sip and spits it out, "Yuk disgusting! Make my drink taste good! was that too much to ask!?" He shouts as he angrily blasts the broken bits...Winterbolt eagerly joins in...he watched the things movie after losing a bet...so he had plenty of rages stored up...
Neither notice a shard rolling away...
...
"Hmmmm...it seems I owe you an apology heathen..." Said Cortes the Conqueror...he examined his new sword as it glowed an eery green...
"Water under the bridge", reassured Tzekel-Kan wickedly as El Dorado burned around them...no one noticing or caring about his new stone eye...
...
Dipper knew that this was a trap...Wendy's blood made into a nice little trail...and into convenient little arrows sometimes? A Hide-behind NOT hiding AND pointing the way?! Of course it was a trap! But if there was even a small chance Wendy was in trouble...he had to take it!
Dipper followed the trail up the hill, desperately running with Wendy's hat in his fist...
The sight he saw below...made him vomit.
Two giant barbarian-like beings were 'enjoying' some female captives. Dipper recognized the words they shouted as they...'thrusted'... as ancient canaanite...he learned a little bit of this language when he was researching some of the worst pagan Gods that could've been brought by the Merge...and the old canaanite gods were some of the worst...he didn't know enough to translate...but he was at least able to figure out their names: Magog and Agog.
Dipper briefly wondered how pagan gods got to America but he decided it didn't matter, all that mattered was rescuing the woman...
Unfortunately, most of them had either been ripped in two by the barbarians massive dicks or asphyxiated to death as they raped their corpses...
There was only one left...Dipper felt his heart sink...WENDY!
Wendy was naked and tied up...her eye's were drowsy...yet full of fear...
Dipper raised his spear, ready and eager to...to...to do what?
Dipper groaned, What was he thinking? They were five times his size! This wasn't some action flick! Wendy's virtue and life was on the line! He couldn't just smash his way in like some dumb 'macho' guy like those stupid manitour...
A light bulb pops over Dipper's head...
He silently hides behind a bush...but not before briefly showing himself to Wendy and giving their tradmark 'Zipped lip' to her.
Wendy was still frightened, but hope was burning in her heart...and some 'other' places. But she stifled that thought as she kept her eyes focused on the big brutes as their giant dicks tore the last of the other woman they captured in two...
They then began to eye her hungrily, she began to sweat...
bump!
"OW!" Shouted Magog- although talking in ancient Cannonite, 'sweaty, hormonial men' was a language all deer woman were naturally fluent in -as Dipper hit him from behind with a stone. "Hey? Who hit me?" He turned to his brother, "You hit me?" "What? No!" Said Agog, clearly annoyed to have his sex interrupted. "Well your the only one here!" Challenged Magog. "You calling me a liar?!" "Well I ain't calling you for dinner!"
And just like that both, were fighting...
'Wow...their idiots...' Thinks Wendy and Dipper as the later helps the former escape while their too busy fighting-
HONK!
Went the hide-behind that just briefly pops out behind Wendy with a clown horn.
The two kids freeze as the two monsters of men look toward them, "HEY! HE'S STEALING OUR WOMAN!" "GET HIM!"
No time to talk; Wendy turns into a deer, bites Dipper's loincloth and runs with him swinging from her mouth...
Dipper winched in pain, both from the indignity and the pain of the wedgie crunching his rear and balls...but he swallowed his pride and focused on figuring out a way to save his friend.
Ignoring the rips in both his loincloth and scrotum he quickly directs Wendy to lose them by scampering up a tree-
CRACK!
Only for it to be smashed down, causing them to fall down a hole...where they find Minotaur, Sawtooth and a naked Pacifica?!
'Oh, my.'
'What the heck?!'
...
...Earlier...
Pacifica was sad...
Whether because of being nude, the emotional thrashing she'd received...or being captured by Luchadores as she ran through the forest...probably the later...
Pacifica recognized the Luchadores from their wanted posters...if she remembered correctly they were from the same world as The current presidents gang- The Saints -She'd heard that they'd been defeated. But it looks like they simply went underground after the Merge and somehow managed to make themselves into a underworld power.
The minotaur joined up with the Luchadores after the Merge had screwed up everything for his world. The Olympian pantheon had lost their powers - Namely being immortal - The hydra was killed by a anti-tank missile being used on it's main body, the Nemean Lion was gassed to death, most of the man eating cyclopes were gunned down, both Typhon and Echidna were killed by missile strikes. The surviving monsters- who ate people -quickly learned to stay hidden from the humans who- unlike their world -can see and kill them.(1)
Long story short: creatures like the minotaur are now is force to work with humans to survive in this new world...
The cave they were working from mostly dealt in small time stuff. Poaching local wildlife, picking up drop offs of cargo, keeping items hidden for tax evasion purposes. Stuff like that.
Right now they're sitting on a shipment of gemstones from those ponies. The gemstones aren't that valuable thanks to the gems being like salt crystals that grow over time. Like how there's that rock farm that grows the crystals inside of rocks.
There was also a shipment of blaze that was being harvested from Some Sawtooth's that they had locked up with an EMP device that keeps it docile.
One gangmember was on patrol when he saw the naked Northwest heir wandering unescorted through the forest. Seeing easy money, he'd snatched her...
Pacifica was left naked, shackled, gagged and dangling above a pissed off Sawtooth. She was sobbing and she'd even pissed herself with fright...While the guy who'd brought her seemed to be getting yelled at over the phone?
She suppressed her fear to listen in on this oddity...only to find herself focusing on something else...
Namely Dipper and Wendy coming down one of the vents the gang had built into the cave...
Dipper and Wendy quickly hide behind a crate, they looked at the scene before them baffled...
Wendy- still coming down from a panic attack from nearly getting RAPED -was more focused on getting the heck out of there then anything else.
Dipper...well, he was conflicted...he knew pacifica was a bitch...and he SHOULD be enjoying the sight of an asshole getting her comeuppance...but he wasn't...all he could see was a terrified, piss-soaked, helpless, SOBBING girl looking at him...her eye's trying to PLEAD with him...but just as quickly give in to resignation and despair when she realized WHO it was...for after all...what idiot would save a bitch like her?
Wendy...also saw this, She quickly whispered... "We've just gone through hell...were outnumbered and outgunned...no one would think less of you if you just left and got help...I certainly wouldn't." she reassured him...
She knew she was being cruel- despite what rumors would suggest rumors, she had nothing against Pacifica. Heck, she barely knew her! -but the sight of those girls getting ripped apart as they were raped was still fresh in her mind...she was BARELY keeping it together as is...
Dipper sighed... "I know...I know your right...I know what your saying is the smart thing...and it REALLY doesn't help that I hate her guts right now- it's only then Wendy notices his 'tatoo' and some of his anger rubs off on him...while also trying VERY hard not to laugh -which only makes what I'm about to do all the more stupid."
And just like that, all of Wendy's fears and anxiety's left her. When one is able to see the full glory of a 'heart of a hero', how can you feel anything but inspired?...and maybe a bit horny...but mostly inspired!
Dipper quickly tells her to go back through the hole and draw Magog and Agog to the cave while he set free the Sawtooths. there only hope to rescue her and get away is if they distracted everyone long enough for them to get away!
Wendy daringly popped her out, saw the two pagan God brothers searching for and shouted: "HEY YOU WUSSES! YOUR WEAPONS ARE AS LIMP AS YOUR DICKS!"
The enraged shouting- and hole being punched in the roof of the ceiling -was enough to get the Luchadores running to the other side of the cave.
Now although it was true that they had the brothers outnumbered, outgunned and had a freaking minotaur on their side... the cannannite brothers couldn't be counted out just yet. They weren't slouches when it came to being warriors after all. More importantly- unlike the minotaur -they came from a world of enlightened magic and frequent gun fights. so although their 'tolerance' wasn't as great as it once was, they could handle there fair share of bullets before going down.
So the fight was roughly even- at least as far as Dipper could see as he used the distraction to unleash the trapped machine beats...
In the ensuing chaos, Dipper untied a surprised looking Pacifica from the ceiling. Before he unties her completely, the fight destroys enough blaze to start engulfing the cave in a fiery inferno.
Much to her embarrassment, Dipper carries Pacifica out bridal style as she clings to his body in fright.
"Grab on," Wendy shouted to Dipper and Pacifica as she transform into a deer.
Once the two were on her back, Wendy in her deer form race towards the entrance of the rapidly collapsing mine. The Sawtooth's chase after the fleeing form of Wendy with the two kids.
Hearing the screams of panic from the two kids who were looking behind her, Wendy ran faster. She spotted the charging minotaur ahead of her.
Wendy quickly dived between his legs, Dipper- still having his spear -panicked and instinctively thrust it between the beasts legs-
GAH!
The minotaur screamed as it was stabbed in the boing-loings-
CRASH!
Right before the sprinting Sawtooth- completely focused on it's prey-crashed into him, thus causing a brawl between the two-
FWOOM!
Right before the fire FINALLY reached the gangs munitions supplies, causing a fireball that engulfed them and everything else.
Wendy- having been yelled at by her dad enough times on what NOT to do during survival training - makes sure to runs to the SIDE of the entrance of the mine, instead of trying to run in a straight line to escape the incoming fireball... (2)
No time to celebrate, the trio run off...not seeing the fire start to spread to the nearby woods...
...
Bill Cipher smiles as the mad Xelor alchemist vivisects Slenderman...
"So were agreed? You help me out, I give you back your family and all the time you lost?"
Nox frowned... "Well to be hones...I had my doubts..." The he gained a psychotic grin as he plunged the scalpel up Slenderman's rectum, "But something about torturing this idiot REALLY puts me in the mood for mayhem so let's do it!" Bill gleefully laughs as they shake on it...
"HA! Who can stop me now?"
Slenderman says nothing...
...
Champa: god of Destruction of universe 6...lay dead on the ground...
His attendant Vados...gagged as the assailant chocked her, she didn't understand it! How could this THING have so utterly defeated her! Even her time magic-
CRACK!
And with a flick of it's wrist...her neck snapped...and she was allowed to fall to the ground...
...
Dipper lead Wendy and Pacifica back to town. To keep their minds off what just happened, He told them about how he wasted his day trying to 'be a man'. He'd just gotten to the part about his love of BABBA-
"You like that stuff?" Pacifica ask as she walks on the other side of Wendy who is still in deer form. While she had gotten better at being okay with being nude...she honestly didn't trust herself to be in her human form around Dipper right now.
"Yeah, I do," Dipper admitted keeping his eyes away from Pacifica who after realizing that she was still naked and in front of a boy she started freaking out- Well, freaking out MORE then she already was. -Which is another reason Wendy is in her deer form, acting as a barrier between the two younger kids.
"Yikes, those Manitour sound like my dad and brothers...MINUS there 'restraint'." Wendy said that last part with an eye roll. But she smiles at Dipper. "For what it's worth Dipper, your a man to me. Heck, if nothing else you've saved me twice already. If that doesn't make you a stud, I don't know what dose." Wendy said with an accidental purr that made both of them blush
Pacifica was annoyed at that...but nevertheless RELUCTANTLY admitted: "Yeah...thanks for saving me...I GUESS that was pretty manly...y'know, if you overlook the needle dick." Said a flustered Pacifica in a back-handed matter.
"Same goes for you table," an annoyed Dipper said frowning at Pacifica.
"I'm still growing," Pacifica growls as she cross her arms over her flat chest self-conscious.
"You two still haven't hit your growth spurt yet," Wendy said. "I remember when I was around your age... and then suddenly, I was twice as tall in less then a year and STILL growing."
While Wendy said, this she focused her Deer woman senses on the two kids beside her...and what she sensed...INTRIGUED her...
Between her heightened senses and her budding knowledge of sex magic...it gave her an insight into who was attracted to who and WHY.
Pacifica was trying to act aloof...but Wendy could smell that she was crazy attracted to Dipper...and not just in the physical way...there was some emotional intertwining as well...and not just because of the rescue...something...something else...
Dang it! She wasn't learned enough to get exact details...save that it involved Dippers new 'tatoo'- something Wendy only had the recent luxury to notice...and she'd been torn between laughing, ripping out Pacifica's throat, ripping off his loincloth to revel at the sight of his shortcoming, copy the idea herself and write similar disparaging remarks across his testicles while he slept -It was too bad, Pacifica attitude HAD been getting better thanks to Sunset's influence...but she still did crap like this...which sucked, because Pacifica was one of the few girls Dipper's age in town...
She turns to Dipper- she braced herself for the pure euphoria that taking in Dipper's intoxicating scent caused her -Sweet mercy... scantily clad, heart of a hero raging, clearly horny as all get out, nice muscles starting to develop, scandalous tattoo painted across his chest leaving him nice and shamed...it was literally taking all of Wendy's willpower to not to rip away his 'V-card' by force...
'Okay, DEFINITELY need to get Dipper a girlfriend before I lose it...but no way I can set him up with a bitch willing to do something like THAT...maybe if I helped Sunset mentor Pacifca...?'
Oblivious to Wendy's internal musings, Pacifica voiced some of her own. "It's no wonder with how big your dad is. Not to mention, I've seen your mother," Pacifica said jealously. Wendy's breasts were the second biggest in town and since the biggest were her MOTHER'S, she was sure they would only grow MORE.
"Yeah... not looking forward to that. I'm going to have back and shoulder pains. Not to mention how they will just get in the way when I fight," Wendy pointed out.
"Yeah... sure... REAL bad," said Pacifica, clearly not convinced.
"Wait, I thought deer woman had stronger body's and all that?" Asked Dipper confused.
"Well, yes, but it still be a pain," Wendy said before seeing some landmarks that she recognized. "We're near one of my clothes stashes."
"You have stashes of clothes?" Dipper ask.
"I can't carry my clothes. So I put stashes around the forest," Wendy said.
Wendy lead them to a clearing that looks like a group were there from the bottles and empty food containers. Not to mention a strange musky smell. Which Wendy knows all too well.
"Looks like my aunts had a party here," Wendy concluded.
"A party?" Pacifica ask.
"Yes an adult party and knowing them that usaully means they'll have grabbed my clothes to replace theirs... again," Wendy sighed wearily.
"This happens before?" Asked Dipper.
"Don't ask," said Wendy. She goes behind a rock to transform back into human and searches through her stash, hidden in a hollow tree.
"Anything for me?" Pacifica asked hopefully.
"Eh...well, my aunt's 'party clothes'. Said Wendy awkwardly as she throws Pacifica something that was basically a 'kid-sized maid-outfit',"
"There's nothing else?" Asked Pacifica annoyed and more then a little mortified.
"Trust me, this is literally the least mortifying thing in there." Groans Wendy as she tries VERY hard not to look at her aunts 'sex-swing outfit.'
Without a whole lot of options, she wears...getting a chuckle out of Dipper...much to her aggravation.
Meanwhile, Wendy- not having any other options -ends up wearing a bikini -much to Dippers delight and Pacifica's further irritation.
"Anything for me?" Asked Dipper.
"Sorry, until this summer I didn't exactly have CLOSE guy friends...so I never needed a reason to keep guy clothes with me." She lied quickly...there was no way in hell she was going to tell them her aunts have been deliberately stealing all the guys clothes just to give her an excuse to NOT clothe any cute guys if she happens to find one naked...something for which she was VERY grateful for now...
She dose find a white shirt to give him. And points out that considering the amount of weird people in town these days, people probably won't notice him wearing a loincloth...
"Lots of cloth and so very little loin," Pacifica said scathingly, still irritated for wearing a maid costume and silently rejoiced at the sight of a flustered Dipper covering his groin.
"And nothing to fill even a training bra yet," Dipper shot back causing Pacifica to cover her chest.
"Oh, for crying out loud you guys! Really! After all that, were doing this!?" Shouted Wendy annoyed, after everything she'd gone through this day she was done with this crap!
Wendy whirled on Pacifica, "For crying out loud girl! He just saved your life! After that tatoo and whatever other crap you pulled, I doubt most other people would've blamed him if he left you to die! WHICH HE DIDN'T! Would it kill you to show some gratitude!?"
Pacifca blanched as Wendy then turned on Dipper.
"And Dipper, come on man! So you have a tiny dick? So what! Those asseholes who tried to rape and murder me had dicks the size of mountains! Do you want to be like them?!"
Dipper went from to green almost instantly...but shook his head in denial.
"Of course you don't! Your a nice person! More importantly your a nice person who's saved my life and the lives of others several times! Dude, you let yourself got SHOT for me! Repeatedly! I knows 'men' three times your age who'd have just ran like cowards and left me or Pacifica to die! If that's not being a man, then screw being a man! Your Dipper freaking Pines and I'll take you over any 'MAN' any day of the week! And I'm sure when blondie here swallows her pride, she'll agree!"
Dipper...he had no words...he was crying... "Thank you Wendy."
She smiles, but then turns to Pacifica expectantly, "Well? ...Were waiting...keep in mind that the get-up your wearing is a LOANER and I can take it back and send you on your way in the 'altogether' whenever I want..." She half-joked...
Pacifica groaned but nodded, "Yeah, okay...I'm sorry Dipper...for mocking your manhood-
"And the tattoo." Pointed out Wendy
"Yes, And for giving you that childish tattoo..."
"And for being horny for his hot bod."
"Yes, and being horny for your hot bo-NO!" Screamed a mortified Pacifica as a mischievous Wendy laughs while Dipper flusters...
However, Wendy's amusement was cut short, as she sniffed the air in concern.
FRAK! WE NEED TO RUN! NOW!
She grabbed them and and galloped way in her deer form before they could react...just as the smoke began to rise...
...
As they continue to run through the woods, they came to clearing where they found wood cravings and calculations written on the ground. The wood cravings are of the 5 element bearers, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Some are just small pieces of woods while others are craved from fallen trees. They went deeper finding more and more wooden figures and more calculations written on the dirt or on the trees.
As they continue to travel through the woods, they came to clearing where they found wood cravings and calculations written on the ground. The wood cravings are of the 5 element bearers, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Some are just small pieces of woods while others are craved from fallen trees. They went deeper finding more and more wooden figures and more calculations written on the dirt or on the trees...eventually, they found the source...
"There has to be something that I'm missing," Twilight said as she sat on her flank looking over the calculations she had written down.
She's been coming to this place since she started living with the beaver brothers. For although Stump's sessions were helping here...she still had issues. Which was why she was here; Someplace where she could be by herself and alone with her thoughts. It's where she goes to try to figure out what went wrong with her friends. She spent time carving wooden figures of her friends alongside mathematical equations to try to figure out where things got so bad.
The moment Dipper saw her plot...he recognized her as the sexy She-Beaver from the dawm!...except not a beaver! But a pony! ...and not just any pony...
"Twilight...Twilight Sparkle?" He asked remembering her 'missing' posters. "what are you doing here?" Dipper asked...while also trying to make sure no one noticed his erection at seeing her.
Twilight was shocked by the sudden appearance of so many people, including the boy from a while back...wearing a LOINCLOTH of all things...his scantily clad state seemed familiar...but she couldn't put her hoof on it...
Her thoughts were interrupted by the girls recognizing her too.
"Wait...that's right! You're Twilight! the element of magic who all the ponies are looking for," said Pacifica.
"Yep, that's the cutie mark from the poster," Said Wendy as she looks at said mark, which really just leaning forward to whisper to Dipper. "Also, Dipper you suck at hiding your boner. Usually I'd tease you, but the last thing we want is this poor girl to get more skittish then she already is. So tuck it in!" She hissed.
"You need to go back to Canterlot, everyone there is searching for you," said flustered Dipper quickly desperate to changed the subject while hiding his 'reaction' behind a nearby stump.
"Well, I'm not going back. Not till, I figure out why things fell apart," Twilight said firmly...while also filing away Dipper's 'readjustment' away in her mind for something to look up later...
"What do you mean?" Dipper asked confused.
"They were my herd and now they're not," Twilight Explained.
"Oh...that's right! Sunset explain to me that ponies are herders, starting from their family to their friends. Once they form a herd they stay together and always have a strong bond with each other. Which is why it's such a big deal when ponies found out that Celestia abandon Sunset and how the element bearers broke apart," Pacifica elaborated.
"That's why, I have to figure out how to fix it. I need to bring us all back together," Twilight said.
"I know what you're going through. When I was held at gun point my so called friends all abandon me," admired Wendy. 'Well... except one.' She thinks with a blush as she tries not to look toward Dipper...
"Then you know what it's like. How you use to have people around you that you thought you could always count on But when it mattered the most they just leave you...," Twilight trails off sadly.
But then she brightens up, "But I'm not giving up! Friends don't give up on each other! I'll figure out how to fix things! I've had a setback... or 12... but I'm confident that if I keep to my calculations I'll soon have the answer I need to all my problems!"
FWOOM!
Right on que...the fire comes in...
Wendy cursed, she'd been so shocked to see Twilight she'd forgotten to keep her senses trained on the fire! It had spread from the cave hideout and had spread to most of the nearby forest! Before she could do anything, the fire was encircling them, cutting them off...
"NO! MY RESEARCH!" Shouts a horrified Twilight as the fire starts to consume everything she'd worked for the past couple months! She frantically tried to save it, but the fire was insatiable!
Although increasingly fearful of being burnt alive, Dipper was surprised when music began playing out of nowhere.
"What's going on?" Dipper asked.
"It's a heart song," realized Pacifica in awe.
"A what?" Dipper ask.
"You never been apart of one? It's something that the ponies can do that is passive magic. It just happens when a pony is at a high emotional level and just bursts out in song like in a musical. It doesn't happen a lot but it does happen," said Wendy while also eyeing the rising smoke. (3)
'I have to find a way'
'To make this all ok'
To their surprise, they saw the power of the heartsong was keeping the fire at bay!
'I can't believe this small mistake'
'Could have caused so much heartache'
Sadly...it seemed that as Twilight's heart began to fall into despair...
'Oh why?'
'Oh why?'
So too did the heart song lose it's power...
'Losing promise'
Dipper watched as the unicorn grew more frantic...
'I don't know what to do!'
And that's when it hit him...
'Seeking answers'
The heartsong was on it's last legs...about to die...and so were they...
'I fear I won't get through to-'
Everyone was stunned at the sight of Dipper stepping into the song, the tone, the VERY essence of the song itsself completely changing...
"What?" Twilight asked seeing Dipper somehow defying ALL conventional knowledge about Heart songs by stepping into HER heart song and causing the music to change to a more up beat one...
'We're cast away on a lonely shore'
Dipper sang...
'I can see in your eyes, dear'
And indeed Twilight can see it in HIS eyes too...
The hurt...the betrayal...all from one he'd trusted implicitly...
'It's hard to take for a moment more'
Twilight sang, the magic of the Heartsong RESTORED!
We've got to-
They sang in unison...
'Burn the ships, cut the ties'
Dipper sang suddenly surprising Twilight.
'Send a flare into the night'
He urges her to walk with him...
'Say a prayer, turn the tide'
As the carvings of her former friends and of her old life...burned away...
'Dry your tears and wave goodbye'
Sang Dipper as he gave her a reassuring hug, giving Twilight the courage she needs-
'Step into a new day!'
-To re-enter the song!
'We can rise up from the dust and walk away'
Dipper sang as he gave Twilight a comforting hand on her shoulder...
'We can dance upon the heartache, yeah'
And lead her away from the burning wreck her obsessions and insecurities had become...
'So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships'
Despite everything, Twilight is tempted...
'And don't you look back'
Sang Dipper as he kept her and her gaze going forward...
'Don't let it arrest you'
Dipper continued to sing in a comforting way.
'This fear, this fear of fallin' again'
Twilight just watched him in awe...
'And if you need a refuge'
And she happily...eagerly followed him...
'I will be right here until the end'
Away from the old...and toward something new?
'Oh, it's time to'
Twilight sang again, her confidence growing...
'Burn the ships, cut the ties'
Both of them sang as more and more of Twilight calculations burnt...
'Send a flare into the night'
Dipper sang as carvings of Twilight's former friends burnt...
'Say a prayer, turn the tide'
Twilight sang as her PAST burnt...
'Dry your tears and wave goodbye'
Dipper sang as he helped her do just that.
'Step into a new day'
Both of them sang, trotting right past as all of Twilight's old memories...good and bad...
'We can rise up from the dust and walk away'
Just burnt away...
'We can dance upon the heartache, yeah'
Dipper also sang, all his anger, frustrations and rage...just seemed to fly off with the ashes...
'So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships'
Wendy and Pacifica watched amazed as they followed the two singers along...
'And don't you look back'
Dipper sang as he once more had to stop Twilight from looking back to one of the more 'happier' times...before it collapsed to rot and cinder...
'So long to shame, walk through the sorrow'
Again, the two other girls were amazed...for not only was the magic of the heartsong protecting them...
'Out of the fire into tomorrow'
But as more of Twilight's insecurities, obsessions and past burnt away...
'So flush the pills, face the fear'
But the magic was starting to make the fire dissipate!
'Feel the weight disappear'
And from the ashes...a new forest was now growing!
'We're comin' clean, we're born again'
Pacifica was so amazed of the orchestra of BOTH sound and sights...
'Our hopeful lungs can breathe again'
Twilight found herself embracing this, strange boy, confidence and happiness bursting in hear heart!
'Oh, we can breathe again'
And they could! The ash and smoke were gone!
'Step into a new day'
Sang Dipper as he lifted up a log to help Twilight pass.
'We can rise up from the dust and walk away'
Sang Twilight as she in turn pushed over a boulder to help Dipper pass.
'We can dance upon the heartache, yeah'
Dipper sang as he lifted Twilight in a dramatic twirl...making her blush.
'So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships'
Twilight sang as her heart raced...
'Step into a new day'
Dipper sang as they finally got back to a non-damaged part of the forest.
'We can rise up from the dust and walk away'
Twilight sang as she began to hold him close.
'We can dance upon our heartache, yeah'
Dipper sang as he reciprocated the embrace.
'So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships'
Twilight sang, the darkness fully leaving both this day and her heart.
'And don't you look back'
Both of them sang, looking deeply into each others eyes as they circled each other while moving forward...
'And don't you look back'
Dipper sang to Twilight.
'And don't you look back'
Twilight finished as the heart song ended...
The other two girls had stayed out of it, lest they disturb it and the fire consume them... They Knew they SHOULD be jealous...but quite frankly all they could do was clap in awe...
"That was great," Pacifica said amazed at Dipper.
"Yeah, I didn't know you could sing," agreed Wendy.
"I didn't know either," Dipper said before turning back to Twilight. "Ok listen. I'm not an expect in this sort of thing. But from what, I have heard. The other elements left you for someone that only knew for a day. They believed in the worst of you rather then question why should they believe a stranger to someone they know longer. What kind of friends are that?"
"They're not true friends...," Twilight said eye widening as her pupils shrink.
"Are they really friends or you all just group together because you are all the bearers of the elements?" Dipper ask.
"I... I don't know," Twilight admitted, she'd never thought it like that...
"You might not be part of a herd but you still have your family, maybe not your brother but your parents still love you," Wendy pointed out.
"I should go back. If only so my parents know that, I'm still okay," Said a timid yet resolved Twilight slowly.
"Good now lets see where to go next?" Dipper said as he climbs a rock to see where to go next.
From her position Twilight got a look up Dipper's loincloth as well as Wendy and Pacifica.
"Looks like he didn't choose to wear anything underneath," Pacifica said as she and Wendy held back from giggling.
"So that's what a male human sex organ looks like," Twilight said intrigued as she noticed it doesn't go in like stallions genitals tended to do. "Is it suppose to be that sma..."
"He's still a kid and growing," An annoyed Wendy interrupted as she grabbed Twilight's muzzle. "In any case, he doesn't need people to keep on pointing that out."
"And he literally just got you out of your depression by singing a beautiful ballet that synced with your heart and friendship magic so hard the world FORCED you into choreography...just...just don't go there, okay?" Pacifica adds, surprising both herself and Wendy who gives her an appreciative smile.
Maybe there was hope for her yet...
...
Meanwhile, Twilight- seeing she'd hit a sore subject -let it go...
And yet...
Her mind couldn't help but be filled by a question...
'Is it even physically possible for him to mate with reproductive organs that minuscule?'
This question filled her with scientific intrigue...and several other strange, new emotions that lit a fire in her soul...and a few other... not so 'PG' rated places of her anatomy...
...later...
After calling an uber, Dipper and the gang were taken to Greasy Diner to get something to eat while they wait for the cops to show up. The cops headed for the mine to see what's left of the hideout and arrest anyone left alive. They're also were told about the Sawtooth that was let out and came ready to deal with it.
Seeing that Twilight was concerned about being recognized too soon, Dipper gave her his shirt to hide her cutie mark- As that's how ponies recognize each other - And with how dumb ponies are, they were completely fooled.
This left Dipper walking through town in just a loincloth, but Wendy had been right. With so much weirdness in town, no one noticed...the tattoo on the other hand...
"HA! Best offer?! How about I-
CRACK!
After Wendy punched out that first...twenty guys, everyone else got the message...
"I'll pay for the laser surgery." Pacifica whispered to Dipper, who nods in appreciation...
...
Once at the diner they came across the rest of the Pine family. Dipper began to tell them what happen after they teased him about his current 'attire'...or rather lack thereof...again, the tattoo, REALLY not helping things much to a distraught Pacifica's shame...
Sadly, when he introduced his Twilight-
"YES! I HAVE A UNICORN FRIEND!" Shouts Mable as she jumps up and starts to advance on a increasingly freaked out Twilight...
Dipper groaned, it was this same attitude that got Mable kicked out of petting Zoo's... "Mable", he warned timidly...
But NOTHING was going to distract Mable this time!
"Were going to have tea parties, you'll fly me over the moon to find my prince charming and we'll learnt he magic of friendship! Mable babels on and on as she starts to forcibly grab Twilight.
Twilight- not having the best of days -reacted how any sane, rationale person would after being grabbed by a complete stranger who couldn't take a hunt-
CRACK!
GAH!
-By kicking her in the cootchie...
"FRACK YOU! Listen to me! I'm not going to fly you to a prince charming, I'm not here to have a tea party, I'm not here to show you the magic of Friendship!" Twilight ranted causing all nearby ponies to gasp.
"What no friendship? What kind of pony are you?" a pony named Cornflower shouted in disbelieving horror.
"Oh suck it up already!" Twilight snorted then turns back to Mable who was still on the ground sobbing and clutching her groin... "And even if that last one were true, I would never want to be friends with an ungrateful bitch that treats her brother like crap!"
"I'm a good sister," Mabel defended between sobs.
"You did make fun of Dipper after he risked his life to save us," Pacifica pointed out equally annoyed
"He literally saved me twice already, so where do you get off calling him unmanly?" Accused Wendy irritably before turning to Stan. "And didn't we catch you watching that black and white old woman drama?"
"I was too lazy to get up to change the channel!" Stan denied hastily.
"Whatever, the point is this guy saved our lives, killed two freaking GIANT pagan gods and ended a forest fire with a sneer and a SONG! He's a man! We say he's a man! you disagree, frack off!" Said the girls in defense of Dipper.
Dipper...smiled at this. He understood now...chest hair...dick size...being 'cool'...murder for sport...losing your virginity...none of that made you a man...even if the whole world...even if your own FAMILY didn't think you were a man...if three awesome girls thought he was a man...well...dose anything else really matter?
Dipper smiled, hands on hips as the girls smiled at him...yep, he felt on top of the world...
"Wow, so your the guy who took down Magog and Agog?" Asked a gnome as he walked by, as he held up and pen and paper. "Your awesome, can I have your autograph?"
Dipper smirked, "Absolutely buddy." He says as he bent over-
RIP!
-Which apparently was the last straw for his poor, abused loincloth.
A flustered Dipper hastily covered himself as he experienced a barrage of wolf whistles, cat calls, cell phone pictures and 'even my little brother is bigger then that?"
'Eh, I'll take what I can get.' Thinks a nervously smiling Dipper as the girls hastily cover him and beat a hasty retreat...
…III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
...AN...
Author's Note:
1 - It was just as bad for the gods who lost all of their powers. The Greek gods found themselves kicked out from Olympus- which came to rest on top of the Empire State Building in New York. -after finding out that without their powers, no one would just obey them anymore.
Not to mention that many of their talents were enchanted by their godhood. With that that gone, many found their 'skills' mediocre at best. It was a bit of a 'toss-up' what Gods did well or end up dead...
Aphrodite ended up as a Playboy bunny.
Apollo tried to make it in the music business but found that without his godhood his music wasn't that good. Not to mention being a bad loser got him banned from many places where he tried playing.
Ares reacted badly to losing everything, he attacked the cops that escorted them out of Olympus and was gunned down.
Artemis was found during a raid on a drug den with some of her followers who stayed with her. With them being underage and having no skills beyond hunting. They were forced to sell themselves and make drugs to survive.
Athena tried to make herself look good by telling mortals all the good that she had done. But this was thwarted thanks to Medusa and Arachne showing up with a tell all book about the REAL Athena. Completely ruined she fled in disgrace. The last anyone heard of her, she was spotted working a dead end job in a small town.
Demeter managed to earn favor by helping with all the messed up farmlands that happened thanks to the Merge.
Dionysus- no longer immune to the effects of all the wine that he drinks -quickly became a homeless drunk.
Hades, thanks to his skills in keeping his underworld running- and the NON-magical material wealth he'd accumulated over the centuries underground - got into the business world and is doing well for himself.
DISNEY Hades: Was surprised by his popularity, many people feeling like he got a RAW deal in the movie/series and love his bombastic 'in-your-face' personality. His version of the underworld is now a major tourist spot and he gets paid big bucks for 'celebrity' appearances...he is currently locked in a fierce legal battle with James Woods over those appearance fees...
Hephaestus became a successful engineer in metal works.
Hestia now works as a nurse in the nursery. Being one of the few goddesses that really didn't do anything to mortals.
Hera tried to continue as if nothing had changed but ended up working an office job. She did leave Zeus as there was nothing that was keeping them together anymore.
Hermes ended up working as a delivery man after being turn away from many other jobs. This was mostly because of his history of raping women like many of his fellow gods.
Poseidon now works as a fisher man, this also was due to being shunned for his history as a rapist.
Zeus ended up homeless and later found brutally beaten to death. No one was surprised by this after all his past sins were brought out in the open...
The 'lesser' gods managed to do better thanks to people not knowing them as well as the Main gods. Many of them managed to make new lives for themselves. But still struggle, as many of them have emotions now. And so Many are plagued by the guilt and shame of what they did and used to be...
2 - I find it dumb how people never just jump to the side when something is behind them that can't move anywhere but forward.
3 - Best thing I can come up with how musicals that happen in the show happens.
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
Love me, flame me, review me
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I don't know if you're interested in. But I need help with creating my own Fusion Fall.
11606480
Oh? Well...I'm about to go to work...
But when I get back, sure. I'd love to help you with that...
Tell you what?
Write down a list of whatever issues your having and I'll try to help you work through them the best I can when I get back...
11606923
Mainly the Characters and where they're from is all I need as I'm not familiar with most of the characters.
11606960
Okay, that's fine.
...let's start with the basics:
What are your favorite characters(Movie, cartoon, videogame, comic, anime, manga, etc.):
What are your favorite worlds to explore/have adventures on(Movie, cartoon, videogame, comic, anime, manga, etc.):
(keep in mind the two lists here need not be related, they can be completely different, you could HATE the characters of a world, but LOVE the world their on. And vice versa. So don't be afraid to mix and match, you might surprise yourself and love the combo)
Feel free to ask any questions if you need clarification on something...