Spaceballs: the My Little Pony parody

by Fonzie

Planet Spaceball

Author's Note:

It took me awhile, but I finally finished this chapter, and on my birthday no less.

A couple of miles away from planet equestria, was the titular planet spaceball. And let me tell you, it is the polar opposite of their neighbors. Crime filled the streets, the atmosphere was very horrible, and worst of all, people were constantly taking the last parking space at the store. The only thing the two planets have in common, is music, though is not as happy sounding as equestria's.

https://m.

yes, planet spaceball had so much crime, it was considered the worst planet in the universe, and Gotham City.

And who's responsible for practically running the planet to the ground, only president Cozy Glow of course.
After all she started it.

I know what you're thinking "how the buck did she become the president?", well you're about to find out, she's in her office on the phone right now.

"Don't be ridiculous, as president of planet spaceball, I can assure both you and the readers, that there's absolutely no air shortage whatsoever, and there's no such thing as climate change or global warming... yes I heard the same rumors myself, so thanks for calling, and not pressing the charges,
goodbye."

The moment she got off the phone, she laughed alongside her bodyguards, their names were Jessie, James, and two Pokémon named Meowth, and wobbuffet, the infamous team rocket gang themselves.

President Cozy Glow managed to catch her breath and mutter "what a blockhead." that was how she became president of planet spaceball in the first place, she manipulated the press, the public, and the guy who worked for League of Endangered Animal Protectors, L.E.A.P for short, that she was who planet spaceball needed.

And as you can see, she was pretty good at it, she was able to continue being in charge, even when she was past the 2 term limit, because she knew how to be a master.

How good you may ask? Well she's taking a walk through town with Jessie, James and Meowth, so she'll tell you.

https://m.

oh yeah, as you can clearly see, she relished in lies and manipulation.

And after a long hard day of lies, she sat down in her chair, looked around to see if anyone was in the room (she had team rocket go and make her some steamed hams), silently prayed team rocket wouldn't burn down the kitchen... again, and opened a hidden drawer in her desk, revealing several soda-like cans that all had the same label:

PERRI-AIR
CANNED IN EQUESTRIA
NATURALLY SPARKLING
SALT-FREE
AIR

Opening a can of the precious oxygen her planet needs, President Cozy Glow greedily inhaling the fresh air that is sorely lacking in the planet right now, if she could get her hands on Planet Equestria's air, she'd be set for life.

"President Cozy Glow!"

Startled by the sudden call, she quickly flung the can away, closed the drawer, and turned to the flat screen TV, where a cream colored cat with a appeared. "Yeah?"

"This is central control, Spaceball Commanderette Delilah speaking."

"Yes, what is it Commanderette?"

"Lord helmet has informed us that Princess Sweetie Belle is in sight, and Spaceball One is closing in on her."

That was clearly music to her ears, the princess in the line of capture is just what they needed to take Equestria's air, "excellent."

"We have both ships on the radar ma'am, if you wish to observe?"

"I'll be down immediately!" She answered, anxious to see everything fall into place.

"Shall I have Scottie beam you down Ma'am?"

President Cozy Glow froze in her tracks, she heard of "beaming" but was a little bit nervous about doing it, and it showed when she turned towards Commanderette Delilah and said "I'm not sure about that beaming stuff, is it safe?"

"Oh yes ma'am, Scottie beamed me twice last night... it was wonderful."

"Alright, I'll give it a try." She said, "after all, it worked on Star Trek."

She stepped onto the beaming platform, and readied herself as best she could.

"Scottie, beam her down."

"Yes sir, immediately sir."

https://m.

And just like that, President Cozy Glow was in the control room... except something was off about her that someone was quick to point out, "GREAT SCOTT! What happened to her head?!?"

Delilah turned to the source of the commotion, and immediately noticed the problem, "It's on backwards!"

Hearing this, made the President panic, "This is terrible! Someone do something!"

"I'm sorry ma'am, there must've been a microconverter malfunction."

President Cozy Glow's eyes darted around the room, until they came to rest on a rather... interesting feature, "Why didn't anyone tell me my flank was so big?!"

This got a few snickers from the crew, including a certain spider demon, who snapped a picture of it.

"Hold on ma'am, we'll try to reverse the beam, it might be in the interlocking system." Scottie assured her.

He made his way to the interlocking system, to flip a few switches, while President Cozy Glow gave her flank a good scratch, "Lock One, Lock Two, Lock Three, Loch Lomond, Taylor Lock-ner."

Once everything seemed to be in order, he activated the beam.

https://m.

And just like that, she was back in her office, with her head screwed on right.

"Are you alright madame president?!"

President Cozy Glow turned to the screen, "I'm fine, no thanks to you." She said with a bit of annoyance in her voice.

"We'll beam you back ma'am."

"NO! Forget it, no more beaming! This time I'm walking." She said, not willing to go through that again.

So she through the door into the next room, which happened to be the control room.

"President Cozy Glow, salute!"

"HAIL, COZY GLOW!" Everyone said, raising their right hand, and putting their left hand and the right arm.

"Hello, President Cozy Glow."

She made her way towards two twin boys, that were on the other side of the room, she faced one of them, "Hello Zack."

"I'm Cody."

She faced the other one, "Hello Cody."

"I'm Zack."

Ignoring their correcting her mistake, she made her towards Commanderette Delilah, "So, where's the princess?"

Commanderette Delilah, turned her attention towards a another radar, "Right here ma'am, approaching spaceball One at 15,000 light leagues per minute."

Hearing this put a smile on the president's face, "excellent, she's almost in our grasp. Tell dark helmet he must take the princess alive!"

To say President Cozy Glow was ecstatic would be an understatement. She was overjoyed that her plan was coming to fruition.

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Based and Ballpilled