Lance thought about this for a moment, "Hmm... Maybe he could help?" Then he snapped his fingers, "DISCORD!!!"
In a flash of light, a creature made of different animal parts appeared with a cocky grin on his face, "Oh hey there Chryssie, and..." he spotted Lance, "Aha, you must be the human Fluttershy told me about, so... What's the fire?" Lance is starting to like this guy now.
One how the fuck dose he know bout discord and two when the fuck did he meet fluttershy?! The start of this chapter makes no sense and has me so confused like what?! First of all this is an AU of the main story this is off of and retreading the first and second chapter says no where did he meet fluttershy nor have any knowledge of discord and equestria it’s self it hurts trying to wrap my hand around this and one last thing why the hell did chryssi freak the fuck out when he left on a “mission” without telling her when they literally JUST MET?! I get the love at first site thing your going for but no where did they get together tell after that to make her freak out like a concerned girlfriend or marefriend in this case. There is so many loop holes in this polt it hurts trying to make it work in my mind to make sense. I ask please go back and make it somewhat more comprehensive.
Now other then that it’s fairly good and the plot it’s self is nice to see as it goes back to the roots of me getting into fimfiction of HiE and WW2/futuristic technology plots so if ya can make it work more better and more comprehensive it’ll be fairly golden.
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
10590086
Thanks!
One how the fuck dose he know bout discord and two when the fuck did he meet fluttershy?! The start of this chapter makes no sense and has me so confused like what?! First of all this is an AU of the main story this is off of and retreading the first and second chapter says no where did he meet fluttershy nor have any knowledge of discord and equestria it’s self it hurts trying to wrap my hand around this and one last thing why the hell did chryssi freak the fuck out when he left on a “mission” without telling her when they literally JUST MET?! I get the love at first site thing your going for but no where did they get together tell after that to make her freak out like a concerned girlfriend or marefriend in this case. There is so many loop holes in this polt it hurts trying to make it work in my mind to make sense. I ask please go back and make it somewhat more comprehensive.
Now other then that it’s fairly good and the plot it’s self is nice to see as it goes back to the roots of me getting into fimfiction of HiE and WW2/futuristic technology plots so if ya can make it work more better and more comprehensive it’ll be fairly golden.