Fluttershy skipped over to Tree Hugger's cottage in the woods. Why she lived in such a secluded part just outside of Canterlot, Fluttershy didn't know, but she appreciated the solidarity her friend's house provided her with. It wasn't unlike her own house, but Tree Hugger's cottage was much more secluded and was a nice break from the hustle and bustle of the city in Fluttershy's opinion. The singing of the birds and crickets and the sighing of the tree's leaves relaxed Fluttershy as she sucked in a breath of the chilly, new Spring air. The high school senior shivered a bit and wished she had brought a jacket to warm her pale yellow skin. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, however she knew she would feel more comfortable in her friend's always-warm and welcoming cottage.
Stopping on the doormat on Tree Hugger's front porch and gently wiping her feet, Fluttershy knocked on the door. Softly at first, then louder as she heard the telltale sounds of feet coming towards her. The wooden door swung open, revealing a bathrobe clad Tree Hugger, pushing her dreadlocks behind her shoulders.
"Ah, Flutter Butter. So nice to like, see you man. I was just finishing up my morning meditation to align my chakras y'know?"
The yellow girl nodded, hiding behind her pink locks. "I- I didn't mean to interupt you. If you want I can just wait out here and-" Fluttershy was cut off with a hug from her friend.
"Nonsense. Come on in and let's get you warmed up. Don't want you catching a cold out here." Tree Hugger ran her fingers over Fluttershy's goose bump-ridden flesh in an attempt to both warm and soothe the girl.
Fluttershy couldn't help but notice all the blinds were closed. That's odd, the girl thought but tried not to pass judgement onto the yogi who was pulling her inside.
The air inside was much more pleasant than the chill of the outside world. The rattling of an ancient heater radiated throughout the house. The light in Tree Hugger's living room was on, and Fluttershy took a moment to marvel at how there was electricity and running water this far away from society.
"Wanna finish meditating with me Flutter Butter?" Tree Hugger had sat down by this point, her legs crossed in front of her.
"Don't you want to get dressed first? If I didn't know better I would have thought you just got out of the shower, not your living room." Fluttershy felt awkward at her own joke but she chose not to hide behind her hair.
"Actually after we're done meditating, I wanna tell you something," Tree Hugger glanced at her yellow friend who had joined her on the floor. Fluttershy nodded in agreement. Why had Tree Hugger dodged her question?
***
"Have a seat while I get us some tea, man." Tree Hugger left the room without waiting for a response and took the screaming kettle off the stove, pouring the steaming water into a tea pot filled with dried lavender and chamomile. She took it into the kitchen where her guest was waiting, sitting on the edge of her seat as if nervous.
"Hey it's okay, these herbs will totally calm you down."
"This isn't another... special tea is it, Tree?" Fluttershy questioned the girl pouring tea into her cup with suspicion.
"What? Oh nah, that was just one time. This is just lavender and chamomile." Fluttershy trusted her best friend and took a sip.
"Mmm this is good but it needs something extra."
"Honey!" They exclaimed at the same time, both laughing. Tree Hugger got up to go get the sweet liquid both of them wished to add to their teas.
After relaxing a bit from both the herbal tea and the company of someone close to her, Fluttershy finally asked "So what did you wanna tell me, Tree?"
Tree Hugger took a deep breath, adjusting her bath robe and running a hand through her dreads. This was the moment. But Flutter Butter would never reject her, she was better than that.
With a loud exhale, Tree Hugger spoke slowly and delibertly. "Well, the thing is... I'm actually a nudist." Fluttershy looked shocked for a moment, but not for the reason Tree Hugger had assumed.
"And you didn't tell me? Don't you trust me?" Fluttershy's squeaky voice was laced with hurt.
"No! I mean, I've wanted to for a long time, the right time just never seemed to come," Tree Hugger said while stroking Fluttershy's hair with the gentleness of a mother.
Tree Hugger continued. "Of course I trust you. I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable." Fluttershy nodded in understanding and rested her head on Tree Hugger's chest.
"You could try it too if you wanted." Tree Hugger offered.
"WHAT?!" The animal lover fell out of her chair and picked herself up quickly.
"I could never do something like that! What if it offended my family? Or society as a whole?" Fluttershy was borderline panicking at this point, struggling to hold onto any fragment of composure.
"I accept you wholeheartedly of course, I just don't think I could ever do something so brave." The end was merely a whisper from Fluttershy. Tree Hugger took another deep breath and suggested Fluttershy start out with just her animals if she was interested in trying it. She had endless faith in her best friend and knew she could do anything she put her mind to.
"I.. never even considered that," Fluttershy admitted. Tree Hugger reassured her that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to, but Fluttershy insisted she wanted to.
"Why do you want to do it? I'm not saying you shouldn't, it's just I want to hear you say it out loud so you're not forcing yourself into something or doing it for the wrong reasons," Tree Hugger reasoned
Her yellow friend inhaled through her nose and said "I want to do it to get closer to nature, my animal friends, and my human friends as well." Tree Hugger confirmed that was a good reason.
"I think I want to try it today when I get home," Fluttershy decided. Tree Hugger felt pride swell up in her chest for the shy girl and smiled.
"Would you like me to come with you to help you get used to it?" Fluttershy's green friend offered. Fluttershy politely declined, insisting this was something she wanted to do on her own. She was practically giddy with excitement as the two continued to talk, thinking of the prospect of trying something entirely new. She couldn't wait to go home.
A good start, though I had a bit of difficulty figuring out who was talking near the end.
10443949
Thank you, and I will go back and try to fix that after I finish this next chapter. I appreciate the feedback and hope you enjoy what comes next!
Agreed that nudism isn't specifically a fetish, but I think Fimfiction has to err on the side of caution when it comes to nudity. It may be worth noting in the description that this is not a fetish story, so that readers know what to expect.
10445270
Thank you for the suggestion, I'll be sure to add something along those lines in the description.
W. What?
Not a bad start! I can tell you're new to writing, but you have the basic building blocks to make something great.
The opening line of any story needs to be a hook for the audience. It needs to be an emotional starting point to ensure we're invested, so stating an action like this is quite bland. Try shuffling it into a second paragraph after you've set the scene. You can also start by describing why Fluttershy likes the spring. What is she feeling, other than a bit chilly?
This is good, if a bit repetitive. You mention how Tree Hugger's house is secluded twice in the same paragraph, and "solidarity" is an odd word choice. Perhaps try something like:
Winding her way down the long forest trail, Fluttershy shivered as the crisp morning breeze bit at her skin. Tree Hugger had always been the reclusive type, so now that spring was finally dawning, Fluttershy saw it as the perfect excuse to trek through the woods and visit her. Already, the shrill chirps of baby birds filled her ears, all just as eager for the arrival of warmer weather as she was.
I've highlighted in bold the key words that help set the seen. "Show, don't tell" is a general rule in writing when it comes to emotion. Here, you can see how I've shown the effect of the breeze on Fluttershy, and given the reader more specific context as to why she's here. You even get a small opinion, backed up by an action.
This is good, but has a few unnecessary details. Why does she need to knock on the door louder if she knows Tree Hugger is coming? Try something like:
Tree Hugger's home was a simple affair: little more than a modest, wooden shack. Upon arrival, Fluttershy gently knocked on the door, stopping only once she heard the sound of approaching footsteps.
"Ah, Flutter Butter. So nice to like, see you again." Wearing only a simple bathrobe, Tree Hugger flicked back her red dreadlocks and gestured for Fluttershy to enter. "I was just finishing up my morning meditation. Gotta align my chakras before I start the day, y'know?"
Here, I've cut the paragraph down to its bare essentials, then moved Tree Hugger's description between her dialogue. Also, I know Tree Hugger is a hippy type, but try not to overdo it, as it can bog down the dialogue.
I've re-arranged the action tags so the subject is clearer. You don't need to mention that Fluttershy is yellow, since we already know that. Why is Fluttershy nervous about meeting her friend? Also, the last sentence feels like too much information, not to mention invasive.
This is very good! Aside from a few word choices, which I've corrected. This both gives us an emotional contrast, in addition to showing us more about Tree Hugger.
HOW did Fluttershy look shocked? Describe her body language in more detail. Perhaps move the "not for the reason Tree Hugger expected" to another line?
I could show more, but then I'd end up re-writing the whole thing :P. Hopefully you can re-edit this based on what I've given so far!