The Feelings We Keep Inside

by jw278

Chapter 4

As we join Rarity, she is running around Ponyville looking for Spike, asking any pony if they have seen him. That’s when she ran into somepony that said they saw him in the park. Rarity ran as fast as she could to the park and frantically looked for him until she saw him sitting against a tree on top of the hill by himself with his head in his knees. She made her way over to him going at a very slow trot. As she got closer to him, she heard, “Don’t, just don’t. Please, just leave me alone, Rarity. I just want to be alone.”

Rarity’s heart fell as she heard Spike say that. After taking a moment to catch her breath, Rarity sighed and asked, “How did you know it was me?”

“I could smell your perfume because of how good my senses are. Being a dragon has some perks, after all,” Spike answered without looking at her.

Rarity gave off a weak smile as she said, “I never knew that,” before saying, “Very well, Spike. If you wish for me to leave you alone, then that is what I shall do, but not before saying what I must.” Rarity sat down on the other side of the tree and rested herself against it. She was quiet for a moment, struggling with what to say until she remembered what Cadance had told her about being honest and talking to him. “Spi-“

“I’m sorry!” Spike shouted, cutting Rarity off. “I’m sorry for everything! This is all my fault! I should have known better! I just...I can't do this anymore, Rarity!"

As Rarity listened, she could swear she heard him crying, and it was killing her to know it was because of her. “No, Spike. I’m the one that is sorry. You did nothing wrong. Everything that happened was my own doing. I’m a fool, Spike. A blind fool. No, I take that back. Not blind. I chose not to see, because it was easier to do so.”

“No, you’re not, Rarity,” Spike said in response. “You’re no fool. You’re kind, caring, hardworking and beau- and generous. Sometimes ponies can take advantage of that. Ponies like him.”

A gentle warm smile appeared on Rarity’s face before she said, “Thank you for saying that, Spike, but that’s not what I meant. I can see it now, though, thanks to a friend.” As Rarity let out a small sigh, she asked, “Tell me, Spike, do you even know why we had a fight yesterday?”

As Spike just sat there in silence, not answering her question, Rarity said, “I do. Or at least, now I do. Jealousy, Spike. I wanted you to be jealous. Or at least part of me did.”

“What!?!” Spike said in confusion "I don’t understand. Why would you want me to be jealous?”

Rarity let out a half baked smile and said, “Oh, I think you do understand, Spike. Have you ever wondered why I’ve never found my prince charming after all these years of knowing me? If you are to be believed that I am this great mare you speak of so fondly, then surely I should have found the right stallion by now.”

Again Spike said nothing, as Rarity thought, “I see. So you are going to make me be the one to say it. I suppose given everything that’s happened, it’s only fair. It’s time to be honest with him, but more importantly, with myself.” Rarity cleared her throat as she said, “You’ve always seen me through rose tinted glasses, Spike. Some perfect mare. Well, that is not the case. I am very flawed, vain, can be very insecure, and also very selfish.”

“What!?! Don’t be ridiculous!" Spike shouted. “You’re not any of those things. Sure, you can be a bit high maintenance sometimes, but that’s because you know what you like. There’s nothing wrong with that and being selfish. Please. You’re the literal embodiment of generosity, Rarity.”

Rarity half-heartedly chuckled and said, “And there you go again. Seeing me through those glasses of yours. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for me to choose not to see; because you made it so easy for me not to, Spike.” Rarity took a moment and breathed out slowly as she looked up to the sky and said, “I assure you, Spike, I am all those things and more. I have been very selfish and greedy over the years. I dare say I could give a dragon a run for their bits with how greedy I have been. Everypony could see it, but you. Like me, you chose not to see, but I think it’s time you took those glasses of yours off and saw the real me.”

Rarity slowly began to cry as she continued. “The greedy, selfish mare has done all she could to keep you to herself. Because she admired you. You who were different from any pony and yet showed more kindness, more gentleness, and more nobility than any pony ever could. I thought if I kept you by me, then maybe I could be like that. Maybe I could become that mare you saw when you looked at me. But, I can’t, Spike. That mare doesn’t exist. I know that now,” as Rarity took one last deep breath, she said, “Because, no matter how hard I try, I will always be greedy for the love of the dragon that has my heart. That is why I have never found my prince; because I found him long ago. I guess, I was just scared that I wasn’t good enough for you.”

Spike stood up and turned around to see Rarity crying. As he looked at her with a sad face of his own, he said, “Rarity, you mean you lo-”

“Yes, Spike,” Rarity said, cutting him off. “I love you. I think somewhere deep inside I’ve always known it, but I was too scared to admit it to anyone. Not even to myself.” As Rarity looked at Spike she said, “I know after all these years and everything that’s happened I don’t deserve you, but even so, can you find it in your heart to give me a chance? Can you love a mare as flawed as me?”

Spike closed his eyes and stood there in silence for a moment or two before taking a breath and saying, “Rarity, I’ve loved you since the first moment I laid my eyes on you. You’re perfect to me. Your so-called flaws are nothing more than perfect. To me.” As Spike saw a smile come on to Rarity’s face, he took a step back and said, “But, I’m sorry. We can’t be together. I’m a dragon, Rarity. I wish I wasn’t, but I am.”

“I don’t care that you’re a dragon!” Rarity shouted.

“But if it got out you and I were dating, it could ruin your social standing with the elite. Not to mention what it could do to your businesses,” Spike said. “While it’s true I never got the courage to tell you how I felt about you before, like you, I’m scared. What will ponies say when they see you with a baby dragon?”

Rarity got up with a serious look on her face and then pushed Spike to the floor, pinning him underneath her as she said, “No more lies, Spike!” As Spike looked at her confused, Rarity continued to say, “I know you’re only three years younger than me, Spike. As for my social standing, I could care less if ponies don’t want to socialise with me because of who I choose to love. That’s their problem, not ours. As for my businesses, I believe my work will speak for itself. I’m done running, Spike.”

Spike laid there pinned underneath Rarity, flabbergasted and asked, “Ho... how do you know that? Was it Twilight? I told her never to tell any pony.”

Rarity shook her head with a little smile and said, “No, it was Cadance. Seems she had enough of our little, 'Will they, won’t they' thing we had going on. Truth is, that is why I was acting so weird around you yesterday. I didn’t realize until Cadance told us all at our little lunch how old you really were. According to her, that was one of the walls I had put up around my heart, stopping me from being honest with you and myself.”

Spike grew angry and said, “She had no right. It wasn’t for her to tell.”

Rarity grinned and lowered her face closer to Spike as she said, “I’m glad she did, because now I get to do this,” before kissing him on the lips. It was just a quick peck on the lips, but it was enough to make Rarity blush as she moved her face away and saw Spike blushing with a goofy smile on his face.

As Rarity let out a little giggle, she said, “I never knew dragon lips were so soft. So, still mad that Cadance told me how old you are?”

As Spike snapped out of his trance, he said, “Hmmm, I don’t know. I may need another just to be sure.”

As Rarity released him from her hold, she stepped back and chuckled as she said, “Sorry, Spike, but if you want another, you’ll have to work for it. I’m a lady, after all and I can’t just give my kisses away so freely even if it is to the dragon that has my heart.”

As Spike sat up and folded his arms in fake annoyance, Rarity let out a little giggle before leaning over and kissing him one last time on the lips. This one was a bit longer and as she moved away to see the smile on Spike’s face, she said, “That one was for everything you did for me today. Thank you for coming to my aid.”

As Spike stood up and scratched his head, he looked up to the clear blue sky, to try and hide his embarrassment. That’s when Rarity asked, “There’s still something I need to know, Spike. Why didn’t you ever tell us, tell me, how old you really were? Why did you keep it a secret from us?”

Spike relaxed his arm back down to his side and sighed as he carried on looking up at the sky and said, “Like I said before, I was scared. I tried in the past to tell ponies how old I was, but they made fun of me or mocked me. In the end, it was just easier to not say anything.” As Spike tried to laugh it off, Rarity could hear the pain behind the laughter, “I mean, technically, I am still a baby by dragon custom anyway, so it’s not inaccurate to think of me as still a baby. I think that was also the reason why I never really told you how old I am and also the reason why I never came forward with my feelings about you. It’s kind of funny, if you think about it. You said that Cadance said, that my age was built up around your heart like a wall, stopping you from seeing how you felt about me. Well, in my case, it was the wall stopping me from telling you how I felt. I guess that makes us both fools now, huh, Rarity?”

“Hmmm, I suppose it does. A right couple of fools, we are,” Rarity said as she looked at Spike, who was still watching the sky. “But, you must have known we would have believed you. I would have believed you if you had told us, Spike.”

“I know, Rarity, but fear is a scary thing. So many times, I came so close to telling you how I really felt, but always held back out of fear. Fear of being made fun of, fear of not being good enough, but most of all, fear of rejection. The thought of you not feeling the same about me was my greatest fear. I’m used to being looked down on or even being made fun of, but the idea of telling you how I felt about you and being rejected by you, I couldn’t take that. So instead, I hid it all from you. I decided that if I wasn’t strong enough to come forward and tell you how I really felt, then I would stand by your side and make sure you were happy, even if that meant it wasn’t with me. As long as you were happy, that’s all I ever wanted.”

As Spike let off a big sigh, he continued, “But in the end, I even failed at that. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to be around you. To hear you laugh or to see you smile. Every second I've spent with you was like heaven to me, and in the end no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop myself from loving you.”

As Spike turned to look at Rarity with tears forming in the corner of his eyes, he asked, “Rarity, tell me this isn’t a dream. Tell me this is real and I’m not gonna wake up in bed, because I don’t think I could take that. It would kill me.”

Rarity stood up and put her hoof on Spike cheek, smiling as she said, “This isn’t a dream, Spike. This is real. I don’t know what’s going to happen from now on, but whatever happens, from this point on we will face it together. We don’t have to hide our feelings from each other anymore; we don’t have to be scared anymore.”

Spike gulped before asking, “Rarity, does this mean you’ll be my mar...” Spike stopped himself from saying it with a worried look on his face.

Rarity looked at him with loving eyes and smiled as she said, “Say it, Spike. I want you to say it.”

Spike took a big breath to calm himself down before saying, “Rarity, will you be my marefriend?”

As Rarity got a big smile on her face, she said, “Only if you’ll be my drakefriend, Spike.”

Spike chuckled as he put his claw on Rarity’s cheek and said, “I could never say no to you, my imperfect, perfect mare.” Before he moved his face in close and gently kissed Rarity. As he moved his face back, he smiled at the now blushing Rarity and said, “I’ve wanted to do that since I first met you.”

Rarity stepped back and giggled like a little filly in embarrassment as she said, “I see.” As she smiled at Spike, she thought, “He kissed me! Spike kissed me!”

Spike couldn’t stop himself from letting out a little giggle at Rarity’s reaction, finding it to be cute. As he smiled at her, he asked, “So, now what? This is all kind of new to me.”

Rarity smiled and said, “Me too, Spike. Me too. I suppose we should head back into Ponyville and find Twilight. What comes after that, who knows. We’ll take it one step at a time together.”

As Spike smiled at Rarity, he nodded his head and said, “Hmmm, I must have really worried her. Sounds lik-“

Just then, Spike grabbed his head in pain as he dropped to his knees. Rarity got worried and shouted out, “Spikey-wikey! What’s wrong!? Are you ok!?”

As the pain started to fade, Spike looked at Rarity with a small smile, and said, “Yeah, I’m fine, Rarity. I just think it’s the side effects from unleashing my seals. My body is just sorting itself out. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” Still seeing her looking at him with worry, Spike chuckled as he stood back up and said, “Spikey-wikey. You haven’t called me that in a few days.”

Rarity gasped as she realized she called him by his little nickname and said in a bit of a panicked voice, “Forgive me, Spike. I didn’t mean to. It’s just when I saw you fall, I got so worried. It just slipped out.”

Spike smiled at Rarity and said, “Why are you apologizing? I’ve always liked it when you called me that. It kind of made me feel special knowing that you were the only one whoever called me by that nickname.”

Rarity looked at him shocked and said, “Well, the thing is when I found out how old you were, I realised how insulting it must of seemed of me to keep calling you that, so I’ve been making a conscious decision to not make it seem like I was trying to belittle you.”

Spike burst out laughing and said, “Guess that explains why you were acting so strange then.” As Spike stopped laughing he smiled at Rarity and said, “Thank you for trying to consider my feelings, but you don’t have to stop calling me that. In fact, I really do like it when you call me that. I’ve never found it insulting.”

Rarity thought for a moment and as she smiled, said, “Very well, Spikey. If you like it so much, then I won’t stop calling you that.”

Spike nodded before putting a claw to his chin and saying, “Though, this does beg the question, if you are going to keep calling me Spikey-wikey, I wonder what name I should call you? I mean, it’s common for couples to have little nicknames for each other, right?” As Spike thought on the matter, he muttered a few names out, “My little diamond? No. Hmmm, how about my little gem?” Just then Spike smacked his claws together as a smile came on his face and he looked at Rarity saying, “I got it. How about my little Marsh-?“

“Finish that word, my Spikey-wikey, and there will be consequences. Are we clear?” Rarity said in a stern voice, cutting Spike off as her eye began to twitch. As she saw Spike nodding in understanding repeatedly, she chuckled and said, “I’m sure we can come up with something. There’s no rush.”

Just then, a look of realization came onto Rarity’s face. She leant in and kissed Spike passionately on the lips, catching Spike by surprise. After they parted, he asked, “Not that I’m complaining or anything, but what was that for?”

Rarity gave him a weak, sorrowful smile as she said, “That was for being the noblest creature I know.” Getting a half smile, half confused look from Spike, Rarity went on, “It was for what you did yesterday, Spike.”

“Yesterday? All we did was have a fight, Rarity. I don’t think that was something I’d call noble and certainly not worthy of a kiss,” Spike said.

Rarity slowly shook her head and said, “No, Spike. It was for how you tried to protect me even though we had a fight. You still went out of your way to try and protect me from getting hurt. Thank you for everything you did.”

“Ho… how do you know what happened yesterday? I told no pony,” Spike asked.

Rarity sighed and held her hoof up to the remains of a mark on her cheek, as she said, “Let’s just say that oaf wasn’t the only one to hit me today. Lyra paid me a visit at Sugarcube Corner and showed me- showed everypony, what he did to you. Needless to say, after I saw that, I kind of snapped and gave him a good wallop in response, which in turn, led to this.”

“Wha… but, how? I never tol-“ Spike slapped his claw over his face and sighed as he said, “Lyra. How could I have forgotten? That mare can use magic to let her see memories. She told me it was a spell to help me sleep.”

“Please, don’t be mad at her. She was just worried about you, Spike. I guess after she saw that, she couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. I don’t blame her for what she did. Truth is, if I was in her position I would have done the same,” Rarity said with a sad look.

Spike sighed again before getting a grin on his face and saying, “I’m not mad at her or anypony. They were only trying to help in their own way. I mean, I could have done without Lyra looking into my memory without my permission, but at the same time it’s not like I didn’t know she could do that. I guess, subconsciously that’s why I went to her and not Twilight. Well, that and if Twilight had seen me like that... Let’s just say I made the right call,” Spike said as he chuckled.

Rarity smiled before saying, “You know, Spike, you could have come to me. I mean, yes we had a fight, but I would have believed you if you told me what happened. You didn’t have to keep it a secret.”

Spike looked at the ground and said, “I know, Rarity. It’s just, it was kind of a guy thing and,” as Spike looked back up to make eye contact with Rarity, he continued, “I thought you were starting to like him and I couldn’t bare the idea of being the one to tell you and hurt you like that. I’m sorry.”

As Rarity pulled Spike into a hug, she said, “You have nothing to apologize for, Spike,” as she lent in to kiss him.

After a few moments, they came apart and Spike smiled, as he asked, “So, what was that one for?”

A grin came onto Rarity’s face as she said, “Hmmm, that one's on credit,” as she giggled, before saying, “How about we head back into town?”

Spike nodded in agreement and they sent off to Sugarcube Corner, sure that Twilight and the others would still be there. Just as they got into the doorway, Twilight could be heard saying, “What!?!” in an angry voice.

Spike cleared his throat and asked, “What’s up, Twi?”

Just then, Twilight spun around with tears in her eyes and charged straight at Spike, pulling him into a hug and started to cry as she said, “Why didn’t you come to me?! I swear by Celestia, if I ever see that pony again, I’ll-“

Spike put his claw over Twilight’s mouth, stopping her from speaking as he broke their hug and said, “I guess you heard what happened then? That’s also the reason why I didn’t come to you, Twi. You’ve always been over protective of me. Heck, now you have alicorn magic, Celestia knows what you would have done?”

As Twilight pulled him back into a hug, she nuzzled him, making him laugh as he pushed her away and said, “Geez, Twi. Will ya cut it out? You’re embarrassing me.”

As Twilight smiled warmly at Spike, she said, “I know you’re not a baby anymore, Spike, but if anything like this happens again I want you to promise to come to me. Understand?”

Twilight watched Spike nod his head in understanding and gave her a loving smile. Bon Bon came trotting over with Lyra trailing slowly behind with Lyra about to speak with a sad look before Spike pulled her into a hug and said, “Thanks, Lyra. I know I must of put you in an awkward situation and I’m sorry for that, but I’m glad I have a friend like you watching out for me.”

Just then, Lyra started to cry as she hugged Spike back and said, “I’m sorry, Spike. I know I shouldn’t have looked into your memories without asking. I was just so worried and then I went and made things worse by showing everypony. Can you ever forgive me?”

As Spike broke his hug with Lyra, he smiled at her and said, “There’s nothing to forgive. I know you were just trying to look out for me. You’re a great friend, Lyra,” as Spike saw her smile at him as she wiped her tears away, he looked over at Bon Bon and said, “You too, Bon Bon. Thanks for everything.”

“Lyra, I…mmm, I…” Rarity started before struggling to finish her sentence.

Spike sighed as he shook his head and went to stand next to Rarity, with a smile and said, “I think what Rarity is trying to say is she is also sorry for what happened today and understands why you acted the way you did. As an apology, she is willing to make you the best wedding dresses she can, when the time comes for you to tie the knot.”

Just then, Lyra, Bon Bon, Twilight, and Rarity all shouted in unison, “Spike!”

Rarity cleared her throat and said, “Spike is right, though. I am sorry for everything that happened today. If I was in your horse shoes, I would have done the same thing. I do hope we can still be friends.”

Lyra looked at Spike’s smiling face and then at Rarity, as she said, “Sure we can, Rarity. I’m sorry too. I know you didn’t really have anything to do with what happened. I just kind of lost it and-”

“It’s understandable, darling,” Rarity said with a smile, cutting her off. Before asking, “Where is Cadance? I was hoping to have a word with her also.”

“Oh, she went back to the Crystal Empire and Luna and Celestia had to go back to Canterlot.” Twilight answered with a smile.

“I see. That is a pity,” Rarity responded, before asking, “For that matter, where’s Pinkie?”

Before anyone answered, Mr. Cake walked over and said, “Oh, Pinkie said something about having to make a delivery before running off somewhere, but she told me that when you two showed back up here I was to give you this.”

As Mr. Cake passed Spike a cake box with a smile, Spike looked at him and said, “Sorry about all the trouble, Mr. Cake. Was there enough gems there to cover all the damage, cuz if not-“

Mr. Cake laughed and said, “Tell ya the truth, Spike, I was gonna give that stallion a piece of my mind before you showed up and beat me to it, so don’t worry about it.”

As Spike smiled at him, he looked down at the pink box and saw a little card that read, to Spike and Rarity. As Spike looked to Rarity, she nodded her head and Spike untied the pink string around the box. He opened it and an explosion of confetti came out, surprising everypony. As they all looked down to see what was inside, they saw a white cake with green and purple trimming. In the middle was a heart shaped like a fire ruby with a picture of Spike and Rarity inside it and underneath in blue icing it red, “To Spike and Rarity, congratulations on finally becoming a couple!!! Your friend, Pinkie.”

As everypony gasped, Rarity let out a little giggle and said, “How did she know? We hadn’t told anypony yet.”

Spike chuckled and said, “That’s Pinkie for ya. No pony knows how she works.”

“Spike, Rarity, does this mean you two are-“ Twilight asked, still shocked even though she had hoped for this.

“Yes, Twilight. Although it’s still quite new, Spike and I have had a little heart to heart and have decided to court one another I hope that’s ok with you,” Rarity said with a slight blush as Twilight, Lyra, and Bon Bon all had the biggest of smiles on their faces.

“Well, even if it’s not, it’s none of yours or any other ponies business,” Spike said as he folded his arms and smiled.

Just then, Twilight pulled them both into a hug and cried as said, “I’m so happy for you both.”

“Us too,” Lyra said as she and Bon Bon joined in on the hug.

After all the hugging and congratulations died down, they all decided to sit around a table and enjoy a piece of Pinkie’s cake together. After some time had passed, Twilight, Rarity, and Spike decided to call it a day and after saying their goodbyes to Lyra and Bon Bon, they left the shop.

Twilight couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear at the new happy couple and Spike said, “Twi, can you stop grinning at us? It’s kind of starting to freak me out.”

“Sorry, Spike. I’m just so happy for you both. I can’t help it,” Twilight giggled.

Spike just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. Just then, he noticed something in the sky falling toward them. Spike, screamed, “Lookout! incoming!” as he pointed to the sky before jumping in front of Rarity.

It hit the ground hard and after the dust settled, they saw Ember lying on the ground. Spike ran over to see if she was ok and as he got close to her she grabbed him and said, “There coming!” before passing out.

“Oh, my goodness. We need to get her to a hospital right away,” Rarity said worringly.

“No, she doesn’t appear to have any injuries. It looks like she’s just exhausted. We should take her back to the castle, Twi,” Spike said.

“Agreed, Spike. Let’s get her to the castle and find out what’s going on.” Twilight said before she teleported them all to the castle.

Comments

[Snivypony]

Will they still be together at the end of this story?

[jw278]

10643843
🤷 Guess ya gonna have to read to find out

But seriously though, thanks for reading my story, I hope ya enjoying it so far & thanks for the comment. About halfway through editing the next chapter so hopefully should have to wait to long