quite a few mistakes, good story but LOADS of typos, also you should change your paragraph structure.
This is how I do mine, there are better ways but I find this one works for me

"Come here" said the man, with a knife in his hand
"No" I screamed as I ran
"I said come here!"
"Never"
He was gaining

Bad example I know, but it is much easier to read that way

Break apart the wall of text into bricks of text. It's way easier to read.

also, you might want to eliminate this
"SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOO,what's in the book?"Nothing"She
your punctuation ain't too flash, spaces with commas, forgetting " (whatever those are called nowadays) just small stuff like that will affect how this works out
Hope my advice has helped, god effort and keep up the good work!

Would you mind if I edited this, then sent it back to you? I have a grammar OCD and I need to fulfill its wishes. Thanks.

Some spelling and grammatical errors, but understandable. I REALLY want to continue reading.

Hmmmm... :D SQUEE