.........................................AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This actually isn't all that bad (I'm a bit wary when people use both the Sex and the Gore tags. Typically doesn't bode well for the story's quality), but you really need to remember to put spaces after commas and periods.

It's what's separating it from "not that bad" to "pretty good".

Not bad. Fix some grammar mistakes and it would be amazing!

I've been editing the stories for him (I really wish he'd run them through me before posting :/) Chapter 3 is revised, so it should be posted soon, once Muzzy gets on. And remember everypony....

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzimkqgZf71r54mdi.gif

1187115 sorry Swiss,but I have a certain Somepony that keeps hounding me to keep the story moving,but I'll let you revise first.