My Little Argonian: Family is Sacred

by Warren Peace

Where Creatures of Stone Reside (Pt2|Ch7)

Author's Note:

I hate this new formatting system, I can't just use a single empty line to show a short passage of time anymore! Oh well, the shorter breaks will have to suffice!

For maximum enjoyment, activate text-to-speech mode

Chapter Seven: Where Creatures of Stone Reside

“You’re the creature of stone?” Rain spoke up first, staying beside me with wings cocked back and ready.

“Well, technically, yes,” Discord said, glancing briefly at his unshaken paw. Shrugging, he pulled it off and tossed it into the void behind him. Yet the second I took my eyes off the flying appendage a new one had appeared at Discord’s side, “Though as you can see I’m rather quite fleshy here and now. One upside to having your own realm, I suppose.”

As if for some sort of convoluted emphasis he reached down and pulled his flesh up like a skirt, revealing glistening muscle, sinew, and a miserable looking cat that yowled and sprinted off into the void.

“Oh, so that’s where mister whiskers had gone to!” Discord said, pulling his flesh back down with an elastic snap and dusting himself off, “cat got my kidney, I guess,” he gave a short laugh.

“What are you?” I asked, sizing him up with a somewhat disturbed look, “some sort of daedra?”

“Close…” Discord said, his clawed hand snapping to my earhole and returning with an oblong, brown stick before I could move, “...but no cigar.” He bit off one end and spat it off to the side, then tossed the rest into his maw and swallowed, snorting out a jet of smoke, “But no, I’m just Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony, two-time previous ruler of Equestria, and the maker of a rather delectable fondue.” He gave a short bow, the top of his head popping off to reveal a smaller version of himself that tipped its hat and disappeared.

Collecting myself, I cleared my throat and spoke, “You already know why we’re here: Sithis told me to bring his light to this land,” I said, getting to business, “I’ve trained my acolytes, found you, and spoken my name.”

“‘Your name,’ to be precise,” Discord gave me an impish grin, “a clever little twist, don’t you think?”

“No,” I replied with crossed arms.

Discord shrugged, “Well, you can’t win them all...but of course, where are my manners? Let me show you my cozy, little home!” he turned and snapped his fingers, all of us reappearing in a flash within a small cottage with tables attached to the ceiling, stairs leading nowhere, and other odd additions that made no sense at all.

“What in the..!” Rain exclaimed, finding us seated around a table that floated in midair with curious pastries and cups.

“Chaos magic, darling,” Discord gave her a thin smile, “do try to keep up.” His fingers snapped again and our cups filled with a mysterious, dark liquid, “Chocolate milk, anyone?”

Trying not to think too hard about the odd abilities of our host for fear of my sanity, I steered the conversation back to business.

“Where do you fit into Sithis’ plan?”

“Straight to the point, eh? It’s quite simple really, so much so I almost dread the simplicity,” Discord took a bite of his drink, “back in Skyrim, you had your night mother to tell you where to go to find those who had performed the black sacrament,” one of the pastries leapt away with a squeak as Rain tentatively reached for it. She pulled her hoof back with a perturbed look, “Smack them first, helps keeps them down,” Discord gave a short laugh before turning back to me, “I...am your night mother,” he frowned, “that...sounded much better in my head, hm.”

“So...these ponies know how to perform the black sacrament?” I asked with a disbelieving scowl.

“Oh, of course not,” Discord snorted, “not yet at least,” he punctuated the word by smashing a fist down on a pastry, then tossed it into his mouth, “Mmm, still warm.”

Watching the action, Rain turned very green.

“Not in my house, please,” Discord snapped his fingers and Rain was gone. He settled my fears with a shrug, “she’ll be back.

“At any rate, no, they don’t know the black sacrament yet, not like they know the pony polkie, that is! You’re lucky nobody really even knows about you or your little hidey hole, either, though that may change once word gets around.”

“So how are we supposed to get contracts?” I asked.

“Leave that to me,” Discord grinned, “I can’t actually appear in Equestria, and with all the new wards Celestia’s had cast on my stone, it would take nothing short of a miracle for me to get free again. However, once we’re all settled in in your lair I will at least be able to enter the dreamscape and seek out those with troubled lives. From there, it’s as simple as seeking out those who are willing to go the extra mile and pay to have somepony...killed.” He made a face at the last word, forcing me to raise a brow.

“Will that be a problem?” I scowled.

“No, no problem at all, I did promise your dear, old Sithis, after all. Though I swear he cheated in that card game...no other way he could’ve beaten me!” Discord chuckled, “After all, I myself was cheating!”

“What?” I replied, A card game?

“Well, when you’re an immortal god capable of doing literally anything you want, the idea of killing just loses its flavor. For instance!” he snapped his fingers and Rain reappeared beside me, wiping her maw and looking less green and more confused than ever, “Why bother killing my enemies when I can snap my fingers and make them want to do nothing more than dance or re-enact a play? I could turn them into a mouse, a house, a grouse, a louse, any number of things! A dead body is just a dead body, it can’t squirm or laugh or cry or do the pony polkie. Killing’s just...it’s not my thing, okay?”

“I was talking about the card game,” I said, Sithis played a game of...of cards with this being!? It seemed far too mundane, too sacrilegious to be true.

I suppose gods have to have fun as well, my mind commented.

“Oh,” Discord said, “Well it was poker night. I’d made my famous fondue and…”

“Nevermind,” I interrupted, “How is this going to work? We can’t be coming here every week to find out who needs to die. Eventually something will go amiss and we’ll be caught.”

“Well as I said, so long as I’m stuck in stone in Equestria I can’t physically manifest there. That goes for the other five realms I’ve been frozen in stone, mirrors, and carbonite in.”

“What’s carbonite?” Rain asked.

“A story for another time,” Discord replied.

“So how do we free you?” I asked.

Discord laughed, “You, free me! How adorable that you think you can, aha! No, nothing short of you convincing Princess Celestia herself to release me would do the trick, and she can’t be bothered to make a mistake as egregious as that!”

“Then how are you supposed to help me!?” I growled, smashing a fist on the table.

“Careful with your manners, mortal,” Discord gave me a serpentine smile, “You may not know the pony polkie, but I would be more than happy to teach you.”

It’s somehow all the more terrifying that that’s a threat, my mind commented as I was forced to settle back down. I wasn’t interested in getting on another god’s bad side in my lifetime.

“Thank you. Now, what I can do is move my statue to a more...secure location. Maybe the princesses’ old castle in the everfree forest?” Discord suggested, “Good piece of real estate that. A real fixer-upper, sure, but location, location, location!” he smiled, “Good historical piece, and located in the middle of a cursed forest that will block everything from scrying attempts to locator spells, a wise choice indeed.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t manifest in the real world?” I said.

“True, and my chaos magic won’t work without my physical form, but!” he raised a finger, “If I had access to someone who could use regular magic, I might just be able to use them as a channel to teleport us back to your sanctuary.”

“So we’re going to have to go back and get Moonbeam,” Rain muttered, “We came all this way for nothing?”

“I didn’t say that,” Discord replied, “Your lovely, little Aram here is capable of spellcasting...if severely out of practice.”

“Wait, what?” Rain looked to me, “You can use magic? But you don’t have a horn!”

“I can barely light a candle,” I replied, ignoring Rain for the moment, “How in oblivion do you expect me to cast a teleportation spell!?”

“Horns aren’t all the rage they once were,” Discord spoke up, “And I don’t expect you to cast the spell. All I need is your physical body and all the magical energy it can hold,” Discord considered a moment, “Oh, and your hand, of course.”

Before I could move, his talons were around my wrist, a smile on his face.

“What are you…” I startled.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it back,” his paw grabbed onto one of Rain’s forehooves, “I might keep this, though…” Rain’s eyes went wide and Discord laughed, “Kidding!” he turned to me and suddenly I felt a tingling sensation as magic was drawn into my body, “Though I’m not kidding when I say this is going to suck...for you at least.”

“Wh…” I was cut off by an explosion of light.

0 . o . 0 . o . 0

The Sanctuary...

“...at?” I finished, finding myself tumbling across the hard stone floor of the sanctuary, “Fornication!” I spat, folding up tight to lessen the force of the impact.

“Aram?!” my eyes were drawn to Rain, standing on uneasy hooves across the room. She gave her head a shake and stumbled over to me, “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” I growled, though when I shoved myself to my feet I only stumbled and landed on my backside. Groaning, I put a hand to my head as the world swirled around me, “What in oblivion did Discord do?”

‘Why, I told you,’ his voice said, drawing my eyes to the cowering statue now in the center of the kitchen, ‘I used your magical abilities to teleport us back to the sanctuary,' there was an echoing chuckle.

“How are you feeling?” Rain spoke up at the end of Discord’s humor as he continued.

‘The princesses have got to be pissing themselves right about now. Their locator wards telling them my statue’s gone, but unable to track where, oh, if only I could watch!’

“Ugh, one at a time, I can’t listen to both of you!” I growled, hands shaking with a sharp feeling of pins and needles as the room settled back into place.

“What?” Rain asked, looking around, “No one else is talking.”

“Discord is,” I grumbled back, getting a firm hoof to the chest as I tried to stand again.

“No, stay down…” Rain began.

‘She can’t hear me, it’s your head I’m in,’ Discord said.

“...if I know my magic, you’re suffering from magical fatigue,” she finished.

“Fine,” I said to Rain, looking to Discord’s statue. The voice originated from that direction, “What do you mean you’re in my head?”

“What?” Rain asked, looking to the statue, “Aram…”

‘We’re mentally intertwined, you and I, there’s a little piece of me inside your head. Should make things easier, I won’t have to summon you somewhere anytime I want to chat. You will need to be nearby, however.’

“...what are you talking about?”

“Rain, quiet, Discord’s in my head,” I grumbled, What in oblivion have I gotten myself into? I mentally grumbled.

More trouble than killing the listener was ever worth, my mind replied.

‘Oh, hello, who’s this?’ Discord asked, ‘I didn’t know there was another tenant in here!’

He can read my thoughts? I wondered, startled.

What else can he see? my mind added.

‘Guys, I’m right here, you know, no need to be rude,’ Discord sounded somewhat offended, ‘But to be fair, I’m in your head like a catchy song, and privy to all that you know.’

I blanched at that idea.

‘Oh, don’t go blanching on me, I’ll keep my paws off your secrets...for the most part at least,’ I could feel him smiling in my head.

“What the hay is all this commotion!?” Moonbeam called as he and Choc came running into the room, coats sweaty and manes in disarray, “Aram!? Rain?!”

“Eto bylo bystro,” Choc observed, brow raising at the sight of Discord’s statue, “Cho eto? Is creature of stone?”

‘Ooh, ask them what they’ve been up to!’ Discord spoke up with mischievous glee, ‘If they say anything other than filling Moonbeam’s special Cream Chocolate pie then they’re lying.’

“Discord, shut-up!” I growled, mentally blocking his upset reply as I turned to my acolytes, “What in Oblivion is happening to me!?”

“Well, I...um...Rain?” Moonbeam pranced in place.

“Discord, the creature of stone, used Aram to teleport us all the way from Canterlot back to here,” she turned to me, “Apparently he can use magic.”

“So...magical fatigue?” Moonbeam asked, trotting over to me with a glance to Discord’s statue, “Choc, can you…”

“Food? Da,” she interrupted, remarking mostly to herself: “First time I am not doing for you.”

“What is going on?!” I growled once more.

“Like I said: magical fatigue,” Rain replied, “I still can’t believe you can cast spells!”

“In laymare’s terms, you’re experiencing exhaustion on a magical level,” Moonbeam explained further, “Run too far and you experience physical fatigue, use too much magic and you experience mental fatigue.”

“Ugh,” I muttered, “How do we fix it?”

“Food, water, rest,” Moonbeam replied simply, “Here, Rain, help me get him to the table…”

0 . o . 0

I found myself famished as a large tray of food was set in front of me, hands shaking and world swimming as I fed myself. My fried nerves settled as Rain regaled the others with the tale of our trip to Canterlot, finding Discord and our visit to his realm.

“That is both fascinating and horrifying all at once!” Moonbeam exclaimed, throwing a half afraid, half curious look to the statue and dropping his voice to a whisper, “We’ve literally got a monster of chaos in our kitchen!”

‘A ‘monster of chaos?’ How crude!’ Discord’s voice rang through my head, ‘I can hear him, you know!’

“He can still hear you,” I muttered between bites of cheese and bread, “There’s some part of him stuck in my head that can see and hear everything I can.”

“That’s...whoa...that’s just creepy,” Moonbeam said, casting another glance to the statue.

‘I can still hear him…’

“Oh, be quiet!” I grumbled, getting a look from Moonbeam, “Ugh, not you! Discord, again.”

“Right…” Moonbeam trailed off, “So it...erm, he is going to be giving us contracts?”

‘I think I’ve already got one,’ Discord spoke up, making me frown, ‘Oh, don’t look so surprised now, it is nighttime, after all. Equestria’s asleep and dreaming.’

“That was fast,” I muttered, mostly to myself.

“What?” Rain asked, ears perking up.

“Discord again?” Moonbeam asked.

“Yes,” I replied, then to Discord, “Where? Who?”

‘Well normally I’d love the irony of sending you back to Canterlot, but lucky for you this particular pony owns real estate elsewhere as well. He’s a Canterlot elite, so I imagine he’ll pay well for...services rendered.’

“I need a name and a location, Discord,” I didn’t bother mincing words, “Where do I go?”

‘Very well, then…’ Discord began.

0 . o . 0 . o . 0

Manehattan...

“Looks too public if you ask me,” Rain muttered as we neared the brightly lit club spilling just as much light as it was noisy, booming music, “Is that bad?”

“He’s not the target,” I gave her a partial answer, everything else depended on how this went down. More people meant more chances to be recognized, but I wasn’t wanted here...yet.

“Bouncer, twelve o’clock,” Rain reported, pointing to a stallion with muscles barely contained by his dark suit. He fixed us with a scowl as we approached.

“The buck are you supposed to be?” he snarked, eyeing us up and down before giving a snort, “Couple of gimps?”

“We’re here about a job,” I countered, fixing him with a matching scowl with arms crossed, “Your boss is expecting us.”

“You’ve got the wrong place, pal,” the bouncer chuckled, “Gimp show’s up the block a ways, I’d head thataway,” he gestured with a hoof, “Get lost.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of Rain’s wings twitch, her eyes narrow and lips creased. I knew that tell well enough to know what was about to happen.

“Rain,” I spoke up, turning to her, “Give me something from our coffers.”

“What?” she startled, looking to me and grumbling: “Oh...right.”

Settling her wings, Rain reached back and procured a gleaming, golden necklace from...wherever it was ponies kept their pocket lint. Handing it over, I dangled it in front of me, letting the gemstones set in it catch the club’s light.

“My credentials,” I offered.

The stallion looked from the necklace to me and back before swiping it for more intense scrutiny. Rain let out a soft growl, but otherwise remained civil at my side.

“May we enter?” I asked cooly after a moment.

“You said the boss was expecting you?” the bouncer looked up from the necklace.

“Shall I take back my credentials?” I countered, letting the bouncer stew with the necklace in his grasp, “Or can we go inside now?”

Biting his lip for only a moment longer, the bouncer tucked the necklace away and gave a jerk of his head, “Go ahead mister and miss..?”

I didn’t bother with a name as I pushed past him, though Rain stopped and for a moment I was afraid she’d snap.

“Bite me,” she answered, making what I could only assume was a rude gesture with one wing. With that accomplished, she trotted on in after me.

The blasting music increased in volume as we made our way inside, far unlike anything I’d heard back home in Skyrim. The instruments were more diverse and the lyrics growled and snarled in yet another alien language. A jet of flame from the stage drew my eyes to a group of darkly clad rams.

This world just keeps getting stranger and stranger, my mind commented.

In front of the stage was a large crowd of mostly ponies, densely packed and dancing frantically to the music. Flashing, chaotic lights spilled across them, highlighting their various colors.

The strong smell of alcohol drew my eyes to a long bar just beyond the crowd, where less rowdy patrons chatted, slept, ate, and drank to their heart’s content. As it was the one thing I recognized in this otherwise alien mess, I headed in that direction, motioning for Rain to follow.

“This is the client, not the target,” I reprimanded her as we made our way over.

“Yeah, so?” she had to speak up to be heard over the music.

“So it’s best to not start with your typical way of doing things,” I continued.

“Oh, well I’m sorry if that guy was a total asswipe,” Rain grumbled, taking a stool next to me, “Wasn’t like there was anyone around to see it if I did stab his ass.”

“Watch your tongue,” I growled back as one of the bartenders cautiously approached with pen and paper in her magic, “Mead,” I ordered.

The bartender raised a brow, “We don’t stock mead here, sorry,” she replied.

What sort of bar doesn’t stock mead!? I mentally cried.

This one, evidently, my mind replied.

“Whatever you have that’s hard and sweet, then,” I grumbled.

“Yearling,” Rain ordered.

“You see our client yet?” I asked as the bartender went to fetch our drinks.

“Nope,” Rain replied, “though to be fair all that I’ve got are the pictures from those fashion magazines, it’s not like I’ve ever actually seen the guy.”

Our drinks came as the song ended on a note in tandem with another jet of flame, a new one starting up just as harsh as the first. Rain was content with her lager, though whatever concoction I received was a poor match for honeyed mead. Too lemony.

Scanning over the crowd as I sipped at my drink with a grimace, I spied a mare meld out from the ranks of the crowd. She locked eyes with me and headed over.

My danger sense spiked, but she was clad in only her coat.

“He’ll see you now!” she spoke up when she reached me.

“What!?” I asked, not hearing her.

“I said: he’ll see you now!” the mare called over the music, “Follow me!”

The mare led us through the dancing crowd, the flashing lights making them dance frame by frame. The going was slow, many of the patrons drunk and clumsy, but soon enough the crowd opened up, revealing a set of booths recessed into a wall. Some were occupied, mostly with customers of every level of drunkenness...except for one. Nestled in a far corner was a darkened booth with only a single shadowed figure waiting.

My nostrils flared at the sight, hands tingling towards my knives as I scanned the area. Client meetings were far more dangerous than one might think; perhaps a guard would overhear your words or, even worse, recognize you as an assassin. On the other hand, it might just be a ploy for an ambush by those who knew a previous victim.

Yet all seemed well as the figure gestured for us to sit, then tapped a gemstone set in the middle of the table. A shimmering shield lifted over the booth’s entrance, the music dying down to a muffled rumble and a light illuminating the stallion before us.

He wore a set of expensive-looking glasses, light grey mane well groomed and vest well pressed. He sat back in the booth, pressing his hooves together and considering Rain and me for a brief moment. The moment, however, passed and he spoke with an audible hesitance.

“I wasn’t sure whether or not that dream was real or not...not until you walked in,” his amber eyes darted briefly to Rain over the rim of his glasses, “So...I presume you’re aware of my...situation?”

“You want someone killed, we provide that service,” I said, blunt as ever, “All I know is that you want someone killed.”

“R-really?” our client asked, “I...I mean, it just seems so…”

I cut him off by ramming my right knife into the table, “This isn’t made to cut butter,” I replied, “Do you want someone killed or not?”

The pony gulped, “Yes.”

“Right, then, mister Hoity Toity,” I said, leaning back in my seat, “Who, where, and how?”

Comments

[Redstargazer]

I'm kind of skimming for stories at the moment and plan to come back to this one later, but the title, tags, and summary leave me with a quick question: Why is it tagged human? Argonians are decidedly not human. You description suggests the character comes from a skyrim universe as argonia not as a human turned argonian based on a game such as with HIE or displaced. Finally, it doesn't show anything related to equestrian girls.

[Warren Peace]

8346872 When they add an Argonian tag, let me know

In all seriousness, I put the human tag there mostly because the main character isn't changed into a pony and remains in his humanoid form. As well, humans do appear in the story, even if it is only briefly at the start and in many of Aram's flashbacks. As well, it's a crossover with a world that is primarily inhabited by humans.

Technically speaking, it is a Human in Equestria story, just rather than a human it's a human-like being that hails from a land of humans.