My Little Argonian: Family is Sacred

by Warren Peace

Princess Problems (Pt2|Ch12)

Author's Note:

It's been a hot minute but I finally managed to crank this one out. Initially things were going to be way different and that's the main reason this one took so long, I wrote myself into a corner. I do think this version of events is far better and makes more sense in the long run so overall I'm happy. I can only hope that all of you enjoy it!

Chapter Twelve: Princess Trouble

‘Luna.’

“I heard you the first time,” I growled, sitting down hard so the world would come back into focus, Damnit! Great time for me to be drunk!

‘Indeed.’

“Aram?” Rain asked, her worried frown turning from Discord to me.

“Bring Choc and Moonbeam, armor up, Luna’s coming.” I cut to the chase, turning back to Discord as a sober-faced Rain galloped from the room, “How close is she?”

‘Too close for comfort but too far to poke with those dingy little dinner knives at your side,’ Discord riddled between my ears.

“How many minutes until she arrives, you overweight lawn ornament!?” I snarled back.

‘Bringing my weight into this? The nerve!’ Discord scoffed, ‘We’ve got about ten, maybe twelve minutes tops before she comes marching in through the front door.’

“Damnit! You couldn’t have said anything sooner?!” I checked that my knives were still in their sheaths and wondered briefly if there was any point to grabbing my bow and arrows. I decided against it for the moment as Discord continued.

‘She’s only just crossed into the Everfree forest, that’s the reason I was able to detect her; she can’t hide her presence here,’ Discord answered as I stumbled over to the sink, gulping water and tearing into a hunk of bread. Anything to offset the alcohol poisoning my system.

“Magic!” I spat, “If you can detect her can she detect me? My acolytes?” Rain returned with the others, both in the process of donning their armor. That was good, but how good against an equine Princess I wasn’t looking forward to finding out.

‘Are you an alicorn or otherworldly spirit enthralled with the powers of a god?’ Discord failed to give me a straight answer, ‘Fine, fine. No, not in here. You’re like the tiniest drop of chocolate milk in the ocean on the arcane spectrum, all the anti-magical noise the forest spits out masks you against most scrying attempts. Luna, on the other hand...well, try hiding a horse on an ant farm and tell me how that works out for you.’

“Can she detect you?” I said past a chunk of bread, turning my eyes to Discord.

‘That’s a good question. Hmm...’ Discord replied, pausing for a breath, ‘Were I in my fleshy, squishy form then yes. But as I am now, I would wager I’m registering about as much as the rest of you,’ I flinched at the sound of someone rapping their knuckles on stone, 'This stone thing isn't just for show, you know...'

“Pardon interruption, but what is plan?” Choc spoke up, both her and Moonbeam now kitted out in their armor, “We run? Fight? Die?”

“Ideally not the last one,” Moonbeam put in.

“Aram?” Rain asked. All eyes were on me.

A plan.

I froze at the notion, a chunk of half-chewed bread in my mouth. How did one even begin to plan to defeat a being like Luna? Back in Skyrim things were simple; people bled, succumbed to poisons, even vampires went down if you opened their throats or filled their flesh with arrows. But Luna? Could my weapons even pierce her hide? Could I get close enough to use them without her blasting me to Oblivion?

So run? But if we ran, we’d lose everything we had. Safe haven, money, but the worst would surely be Discord’s statue. The Dark Brotherhood had worked around its loss of a Listener and the Night Mother long before my time, but that was Skyrim. Here we were wet behind the ears, hardly established with only a single soul sent to the dread father. Without Discord we’d be taking shots in the dark to find new contracts.

But to fight? Maybe we had a home advantage here in our sanctuary, but the force multiplier of that was dubious at best. Perhaps I could have Moonbeam rig portions of the castle to collapse on her or open up to swallow her whole. Glancing to my twin knives I asked myself once again if they were even capable of defeating Luna. Once again we stood a greater chance of being defeated and, again, losing Discord’s statue. Even if we managed to escape whatever prison we were locked up in (provided we all survived the ordeal), they would return Discord’s statue to Canterlot. I was no mage, but surely they'd magically tighten security so we couldn't just…

A ludicrous idea shot into my head like a bolt of lightning magic, the world swirling as I wheeled about to Discord’s statue. I half ran, half stumbled over to him to the confusion of all in the room.

“You’re in my head!” I snapped at him, “Will it work!?”

‘I didn’t quite catch that one, actually...’

“Fornication,” I grumbled, slouch-turning to my acolytes, “Moonbeam, Rain, strip. Choc, come here next to Discord.”

“Uhh…” Moonbeam fixed me with a bewildered look.

“Rather forward of you…” Rain snorted past a grin.

“What is plan, yashcheritsa?” Choc grumbled, glancing to her compatriots before trotting over, “I do not enjoy polovoye izvrashcheniye...” Rain snorted again.

“I’ll ask you what that means if this works,” I groaned, thankful that she at least had listened before turning to Discord, “You used me to teleport you, me, and Rain…”

‘“You, Rain, and me.”’

“Be quiet,” I snarled at the god-like entity, “Use me to teleport you again, you and Choc, somewhere else. That takes you off the playing field, keeps you secure if things go to Oblivion so you don’t wind up out of our reach. We can escape and come find you again, we won’t have to start from nothing.

“Choc…” before I turned to her, I turned to the other two, still wearing their armor, “Strip now!” I barked, making Moonbeam jump and Rain smirk. Both started getting out of their armor as I turned back to Choc, “You haven’t come with us on any of our missions, there's no way Luna knows you’re on the playing field. You’re going with Discord as security. Keep his statue safe and secure until the coast clears. If we get captured, help us escape.”

“Da, ya ponimayu!,” Choc surprised me with a grin of determination, “Plan is good.”

“Rain, Moonbeam, we’re the ones Luna knows about…” I took a moment to catch my breath, preparing myself for what was to come, “We stay here and act natural. We can’t have known Luna was coming. As far as she knows, it’s just the three of us here. We’re not part of the Dark Brotherhood and we’re not the ones who stole Discord’s statue or killed Spruced Up. We’re adventurers; we slew the dragon, took its treasure, and renovated a ruin that no one gave two winks about.”

“I...okay…” Moonbeam said, now with his armor folded across his back.

“That might just work…” Rain mused, also bereft of her armor.

‘And here I thought I’d have to possess your form and battle it out with dear, sweet Luna,’ Discord’s cackle rattled my brain, ‘Now we won’t be sending me to anywhere near Canterlot distances if we want to keep the spell masked. Probably best to keep me inside the Everfree Forest. Anti-magical noise and all that...did you have a spot in mind?’

“I can think of plenty,” I replied, I’d gone through a good portion of the forest while our Sanctuary was being readied; looking for new plants to make new poisons and tonics. It wasn’t quite like the back of my hand, but close enough that I no longer relied on Zecora.

‘When you’re ready, think of where you want to send us and say my name.’

“Choc, ready?” I asked.

“Da,” she nodded, placing a hoof on the base of Discord’s statue.

My mind raced over the many spots I’d visited in the Everfree, someplace far but not too far. We couldn’t have much time left, Luna would be here soon.

“To Oblivion with it,” I settled on a spot, spreading my fingers out across Discord’s serpentine chest, “Discord,” I said.

Nothing happened.

“Discord!” I tried again.

The faintest cackle echoed between my ears.

“Bastard,” I growled, “My name.”

I crumpled to the ground as a wave of magic ripped through me, Discord’s statue and Choc vanishing in a flash of light. My eyelids were tugged shut, exhaustion shaking my limbs and preventing me from standing.

“Aram!” Who was that? Rain?

“Fine,” I grumbled, “Magical...sleepiness or...whatever you called it.”

“Fatigue, but close enough,” I heard Moonbeam say, “I’ll grab some food, let’s get you to a table and...well...wait for Luna to show up.” I could almost hear him gulp.

0 . o . 0 . o . 0

Above...

Luna stared down at the crumbled ruins of the one-time seat of Equestrian power, the castle that used to be her home. Her wingbeats were soft and measured as she held herself poised high up above.

She wasn’t quite sure what the sight of it made her feel; remorse, anger, perhaps a little happy nostalgia: the sound of laughter and galloping through the halls, though that flickered away as she beheld what time had done. A thousand years had not been kind to the crumbled walls and caved-in rooftops.

The gardens that she had once walked through were overgrown with gnarled masses of cruel Everfree weeds and shrubbery. Most of the stained glass windows had been reduced to jagged teeth of shattered glass. Briefly she wondered what had compelled her sister to move the seat of power to Canterlot.

Briefly.

“Highness,” Luna’s eyes were drawn to Commander of the Lunar Guard Silver Shrike. The armor enchantment making her look like a bat pony didn’t hide the fresh stitches in her side, “The Everfree’s anti magic is playing havoc with our scrying enchantments, but all the same no sign of traps. We did manage to detect life forces within the kitchen area, it’s central to the castle with…”

“We are aware of its location, Commander.” Luna raised a hoof, “Anything else?”

Silver nodded, “Fly bys show signs of recent repairs. Boarded windows and shored-up walls, someone’s renovated the place recently.”

That earned a raised eyebrow from Luna, “Very well, then. Let us intrude…”

0 . o . 0 . o . 0

Below...

I wasn’t sure how many of the ten or twelve minutes had elapsed by now. It certainly felt like it’d been long enough; though my senses and thoughts remained muddled by the mead so it couldn’t have been that long.

This waiting felt unnatural, unnerving. My instincts warned that I needed to run, to find a dark corner to hide, check my arrows for poison. My fingers itched, wanting for the smooth handles of my knives. But I knew I had to force myself to remain calm, to appear unaware, for this ruse to work.

It didn’t make anything easier.

A sudden thought struck me: could Discord have lied? What proof did we have other than his words that Luna was approaching? Could I have just let him teleport to some unknown location with one of my acolytes for his own heinous purposes? How well did I really know the chaotic entity?

“Aram,” Rain snapped me from my reverie, glancing to a hand (or wing, actually) of cards, “Got any jacks?”

I looked to my own hand of cards, narrowing my eyes across the set, “Which ones are those, again?” I asked.

“It’ll have a donkey on it.”

“No fish,” I brought my eyes back up to hers.

“Go fish,” she corrected me.

“Right.”

“Aram Falíe of Skyrim!”

All my worries about trying to look surprised when Luna finally arrived were blown away by the shout from behind me. My acolytes were no different, Rain’s cards flying as she jumped and Moonbeam letting out a sharp yelp as he toppled back out of his seat.

I tried not to wheel about too quickly in my seat for fear of falling to the floor, my glare landing on Princess Luna. Was I getting soft or had she really managed to sneak into the kitchen with us unawares? There was no way shod hooves could be that quiet on stone.

For a moment she stood and stared, as regal as her dreamtime forms but as real as the stone beneath her. Her eyes sized up the three of us before settling back on mine. Her hooves clopped over the floor as she approached.

“We meet in the flesh at long last, though it ought to have been sooner had you not refused our messengers...” her tone was neither cheery nor angry, rather cool, calm, and collected. Regal, perhaps.

“I don’t like being summoned with threats,” I countered with a scowl, quickly adding: “How did you find us here?”

Luna halted, standing a good number of paces from our table, her starlit mane impossibly flowing within the still air.

“A…gift let us call it,” Luna’s horn ignited, Moonbeam flinching in my peripherals. No blast of fire or lightning executed us, instead a slim black shape materialized before her, “Given by you, now returned.”

My arrow somersaulted slowly through the air until it floated before me. I glanced from it to Luna, suspicion making me hesitate before taking it from the air, my ring glowing softly.

“A rather potent poison rests upon its tip,” Luna's eyes tracked around the room, a brief flash of something shooting through them before they returned serious to me, “Mixed from plants found exclusively within the Everfree forest. It dost not take an alchemist to put two and two together and also accounts for the sudden disappearance of a blue dragon from this ruin. We had assumed it moved off, but looking around at the renovations we doubt it left its treasure willingly...”

She let her gaze burn into mine, the implication hanging in the air. I didn’t deny it, instead cutting to the chase.

“Well, you’ve got your meeting,” I grumbled, setting the arrow down and crossing my arms before me, “What did you wish to discuss? More dreams and tantabuses?”

“Tantabi,” Luna corrected, “And nay. Whilst it torments us to ignore your nightmares, you hath made it quite clear to us that you wish to handle such problems on your own.”

I felt two pairs of curious eyes probe my back at Luna’s words.

“Nay,” Luna said again, her height suddenly growing and the shadows of the room drawing in towards her as her expression grew dour, “What dost thou know of the beast known as: Discord?”

Silence filled the room.

Rather quick to get to the point, I mentally muttered, “I know about as much as any, I suppose. A spirit of chaos, imprisoned in stone. Why?”

“You were the last creature to have the pleasure of meeting him,” Luna’s expression remained dour, her horn lowering slightly. My own hands lowered to my sides, not quite reaching for my knives but ready at a moment’s notice. In the corner of my eye, Rain lowered her body ever so, “Do not debase our intelligence by playing coy, Aram Falíe. We are aware of your visit to the Canterlot gardens some time ago.” In response to my surprised look, she continued: “You are not quite as sneaky as you would think.”

That most certainly hadn’t been the last time I’d seen Discord, but I wasn’t about to reveal that to Luna. No, I had to come up with a ruse, something to fool her and throw her off the true story of what we were doing here. Perhaps a hint of the truth could blossom into a bountiful lie...

“Very well,” I made a show of relaxing my stance, gesturing vaguely to my acolytes to do the same, “Discord came to me in a dream, though I didn’t know it was him at first. He hid his presence to trick me.

“He gave me a riddle, one that ultimately led to my visit to the Canterlot gardens,” There was the truth, now time for the lies, “Once we found him, he ensnared us, my partner and I,” I tossed a quick gesture to Rain, “He wished to be freed from his stony prison and wanted us to be the ones to do it...”

“What were his plans?” Luna interrupted, hostile expression and stance unchanged.

I paused for the briefest of moments, “I...we never heard them,” I turned to Rain, using the moment to get more time and restring my lie before turning back to Luna, “We refused, of course. We’re adventurers, you see, travelling the land in search of stories of wealth. But to free such a monstrosity from his stone tomb? We’re not so easily plied. He surely would have turned on us at the moment of freedom.”

“Indeed he would have,” Luna agreed, looking as though a foul taste had met her tongue, “Yet, in spite of your words his statue remains vacant from its place of rest in the gardens.”

“I was getting to that,” I replied, clearing my throat for another crucial second, “He wasn’t pleased at our refusal to free him, naturally. I...hate to admit it but we caved to his threats,” I turned away to appear embarrassed, “We didn’t release him, but he forced me to act as a...a thing for him to use to teleport himself away from the gardens.”

“A conduit,” Rain put in, “Discord used him as a conduit to channel his own powers through since he was trapped in stone.”

“Yes, right,” I said, secretly thankful for the few extra moments to think before I finished the lie strong, “When we awoke, we found ourselves back within the Everfree forest. That’s all there is to tell, I assume Discord teleported his statue somewhere else.”

“Why wouldn’t he have left you in the gardens?” Luna inquired.

I could only shrug. I had no lie for that.

“Perhaps to hide the evidence,” Rain reasoned, “He may have figured the beasts here would consume us, not knowing that this is where we’d lived for some time.”

“And why did you not come to the authorities on this matter!?” Luna demanded.

“Retribution,” Rain answered again with a suddenly harsh tone, “Hay, did your lackies tell you how things went down in Hoity’s nightclub? They nearly beat Aram to death!”

“The injuries sustained by Commander Shrike were telling enough,” Luna paused for a moment, “And, truth be told, her report is the only reason this conversation isn’t happening with a set of enchanted bars of a prison cell betwixt us.”

Luna didn’t let the stark surprise of my acolytes and me fester for long.

“You could prove yourselves useful, you see, and thus earn our forgiveness for nearly unleashing the blight of Discord on our lands once again. Assist us in our task and we shall forgive your transgressions against both our land and our Commander. The alternative shall be determined by a jury of your peers,” she eyed me pointedly, “Or as close to peers as we can arrange.”

I shared a brief glance with my acolytes, getting reassurance that they would follow my lead for whatever came next. With that settled, what did come next? Luna was alone and in our sanctuary, the odds of us defeating her were still low, but better than if she’d arrived with an entourage. The attack would be warranted with her threats of imprisonment and trial, we could certainly escape her clutches but that would still be less than ideal.

Of course, she had dangled a tempting alternative to conflict and strife. I was no stranger to odd tasks, I hadn’t started off my career as an assassin, after all. Even once I had joined the Dark Brotherhood, not everything I did involved sending a new soul to the Void. So why not bite, if not just to earn another hour of freedom and a chance of making it out of this unscathed?

“What is this task of yours?” I asked, crossing my arms before me again.

Luna raised a single brow, eyes turning to each of us in turn, “Surely, you jest? Have you not been listening to us at all?”

Oh… I suddenly realized, nearly laughing at the irony of what she was about to say.

“You will provide assistance cleaning up this mess you’ve made. You will help us find Discord’s missing statue and return it to its rightful place within the Canterlot gardens,” Luna spoke, a hint of something that might’ve been annoyance lacing her regal tone, “Must we be any more clear than that!?”

The silence that followed that statement was deafening.

“You’re serious,” I voiced the single thought that managed to cross my mind.

“Indeed,” Luna intoned.

“Wait a sec, hold up,” Rain clopped a hoof down on the table, “So just because we kick in the teeth of your ponies and manage to escape that makes us candidates for a...what would this even be? Missing persons case?”

“Missing statues? Spirits?” Moonbeam pondered quietly.

“We certainly don’t need to remind you of our history,” Luna’s face turned sour as she spoke the next few words: “of Nightmare Moon’s history...suffice it to say we do believe in second chances, in the idea of redemption. You three have made a mess of things, we would find it fitting if you were the ones to resolve them.

“As to your skills of skullduggery, they may yet prove useful…that is all we may speak of now. Should you wish to accept our task and seek atonement we may speak more of it.” Luna left it at that.

“Can…” I gave my head a good shake to bring things into focus. With the mead in my system the effect is dubious at best, “Let us think on this.”

“This we will grant you, but we will not wait more than a half-hour’s time. Should you choose not to accept our task your atonement shall be as ours was, imprisonment...though not on the moon, rest assured.”

Small things, I suppose, I reasoned as Luna turned and strode away to the door to give us some privacy. All the same, I kept my voice low as I turned to my acolytes.

“This is bucking insane!” Rain hissed.

“We need to take the offer,” I countered.

“No, I agree. Otherwise she’ll whupp all our asses and toss us in prison! Better we let her think we’re helping while looking for a way out from under this,” Rain impressed me, a small smile creeping across my face.

“I think we’re all in agreement, then,” Moonbeam added, “We’ve, er...” he cast a glance towards where Luna was standing, “Let’s just say I agree and leave it at that. Too many prying ears to speak about certain details.”

“Indeed,” I cast my own glance towards Luna’s ears, spying one twitch of its own accord, “Princess!” I called over, waiting for her to return to her standoffish distance, “We accept your task.”

“Very well,” Luna smiled a pleasant smile, though it briefly turned catlike as she continued: “You may join us now, Commander Shrike.”

My puzzlement was replaced by alarm as movement caught in my peripherals. Turning, I saw Silver Shrike, the two bat ponies from Hoity’s club, and another three new bat ponies melt from the shadows around us, striding calmly over in their midnight armor. Silver grinned a mirthless grin at my surprise, the two bat ponies from the club glaring openly.

Clever girl… I scowled both mentally and physically.

“Security,” Luna explained to my sour expression, “We thought it prudent.”

“What now, then?” I asked.

“Skullduggery,” Luna answered.

Comments

[Mrazi]

This can't be it. Where's the rest?
Just as got involved in the story, I ran out of chapters. And judging by the dates on chapters, this is completely abandoned. Oh, well, it was an interesting read while it lasted.
I shall headcanon it as if Luna dropped in unannounced and killed everyone, end of story.

[Warren Peace]

11632689 I intend to finish it, just taking a longer break than I expected due to life stressors and such.