The Long Way Round

by Snaproll

Chapter 2

Dear BB,
Thank you for your kind words regarding last night's Gala. I feel I must pass on my own congratulations as well, upon the occasion of you becoming acquainted with one Rarity Belle, a friend of my Faithful Student and resident of the very town which you will be visiting. Having spent the evening post-Gala with her and her companions, I am sure you will not be surprised to find her to be a mare of impeccable poise, manners and character, and industrious, as she is the proprietor of Carousel Boutique, an Up and Coming name in the world of fashion.

Should your paths cross again, I recommend your apology to contain legendary amounts of taste and sincerity. As a seamstress, Miss Belle is in possession of a worrying degree of pointed instruments, and it would be a shame if my favorite nephew were to resemble a pincushion.

Safe Journeys, and write often.
Your friend,
Tia Tia.
P.S.: Pending confirmation of her qualities, it would be my singular pleasure to grant your request regarding Lance Corporal Chain's transfer. This may be of excellent news to a certain valet in your employment.
P.P.S: Your Auntie Luna humbly request and requires you to pick up a pound of rhubarb custard hard candies at Ponyville's local confectionary and says, quote, "Go Get 'Em, Tiger."

Celestia sat back from her desk, regarding the letter she was about to write to her nephew, checking for obvious typos, phrasing, and even the meter. Though she had fond memories of the infant Blueblood growing up, spending time with the young colt as he matured into a stallion of breeding and refinement, she could still see the infant colt in the adult he had become. Or perhaps, she thought to herself, he was becoming. True, Blueblood was an able steward of his family's estates and fortunes. And he had taken one of the lessons she had attempted to instill in him at a young age to heart: The lofty position of the Royals existed, to be sure, but it existed to elevate those lower than they were, by example and by action.

"Let us see your missive, Celly." Luna spoke over Celestia's shoulder, her blue eyes perusing the letter. A millennia exiled to the Moon had not dampened Celestia's memories of her sister's habits, and she sensed a question lurking close under her sister's surface. It only took thirty seconds of silence for...

"A question, Celly. Why has our nephew not simply bludgeoned the object of his affection and carried her back to his hovel?"

Celestia's mind provided her with an image of Blueblood's face had he heard of his family estate, comprising several acres on the outskirts of Canterlot and a magnificent four story manor house, as a "Hovel", not to mention the reaction to the Canterlot Society Pages if any member of the peerage were to begin engaging in Percussive Courtship.

Or worse, if it were to begin catching on. Goodness knows, Celestia had enough on her hooves dealing with the nobility as they were. The last thing she needed was for them to become collectively dumber by dint of repeated concussions sustained during the mating process.

"Times have changed since you were away, Luna. It's considered more..." Appropriate would have been the most apt description, but given Luna's irreverent streak, that particular word choice might inspire her recently returned little sister to greater feats of questionable sanity. "...Fashionable for stallions to woo mares by presenting them with gifts, sharing their interests, and giving tokens of affection."

Luna frowned. "But...Tia, how am I to judge the suitability of a mate then? If he is not brave enough to confront me in single combat, nor possesses the strength to heft a cudgel, then what good would he be in the bedroom?"

Nope! Not touching that one! Divert her attention! Celestia waved a hoof, airily. "Oh, you're a clever filly, Luna. I'm certain you'll figure out a way that won't involve sustaining a concussion." An idea occurred to her, and she gave a thoughtful look to the west. "If I remember correctly, there is currently at least one battalion of the Palace Guard undergoing their physical fitness review out on the parade grounds. Perhaps you should inspect-" Celestia's voice cut off as Luna sped by in an indigo and violet blur. "WhatabrilliantideaTiadon'twaitup!"

Celestia shook her head as she sipped her tea, sending the letter intended for her nephew on its way in a blaze of emerald fire and wondering if Luna was about to set events into motion that would necessitate any sort of mediation, arbitration, or long term therapy for members of the guard. Sighing, she decided that was Future Celestia's problem, and helped herself to the cronut that Luna had abandoned.

⚜⚜⚜

Blueblood read his aunt's letter for the fourth time that morning, and the second time since he and Concord had boarded the train to Ponyville. Rarity Belle he mused to himself, rolling the name around in his head. It certainly seemed to fit the mare, equal parts elegance and uniqueness.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you, Sir." Concord grinned at his employer from across the compartment, his eyes merry.

"Hardly." Blueblood grumbled, settling himself into his seat. "I was merely contemplating how stiff these cushions were."

"Gee," Concord mused, "If only you knew the pony who owned the railroad. You could write him a letter, or something."

"Now now, be fair. I only own thirty percent of the railroad. That's hardly the whole enchilada." Blueblood shrugged. "Fancy brought up that point at the last board meeting, but I had to turn it down as an official line item as our treasurer assured us we would have to increase fares by five percent. Given that would have increased costs for ponies who rely on the railroad for commuting as well as those who use it to ship goods, Fancy, myself and the other board members agreed we should keep the seats as they are." Blueblood sighed. "I am merely regretting not requesting that my personal rail car wasn't attached."

Concord rolled his eyes. "Well, you did want to remain incognito, sir. A half-furlong of chrome and brass tends to draw a crowd."

"Oh, I admit it's hardly practical. That does not obligate me in any way to like it." Blueblood poked the seat cushion he sat on, wheels turning in his mind. "Remind me when we get home, I've a proposal to put forward to Fancy regarding the cushions. I may have a solution to the seat problem."

Concord nodded, fishing out a notepad from his vest and consulting a calendar. "I believe you and the gentleman are scheduled to play zesta punta next Tuesday at his residence. Would that be an opportune time?"

"Perfect. I presume my basket has been properly mended?"

"And reinforced. It arrived yesterday morning."

"Excellent. How's the leg, by the way?"

"Oh, fine." Concord grimaced and stretched the limb experimentally. "It's sore, but it'll serve."

"Good, good, I'm glad to hear it. I couldn't bear it if I returned you to your mare in a worse condition than you were received." Blueblood nodded out the window as the train began to slow. "Looks like we're about to arrive."

⚜⚜⚜

The two stallions stood on the Ponyville station platform amid a rapidly dwindling crowd of commuters and porters. Concord glanced over at his employer, who was regarding the town with an arched eyebrow. Concord smiled. "First time in a small town, boss?"

"Hardly. I've spent time in a number of charming villages and hamlets." With a nod, Blueblood stepped off the platform, levitating his suitcase in his golden aura.

Concord stepped off after him, shrugging his saddlebags up. "But near Canterlot." He pressed, confirming a theory.

Blueblood nodded, smiling. "Indeed. They're charming places, away from the hustle and bustle of the city."

Concord glanced around, his worst fears confirmed as ponies out on their daily errands stopped in their tracks to look at them. "And...you wanted to remain incognito, right?"

"Indeed. This is why I am engaging in the bucolic practice of carrying my own luggage and giving your back a break," He bobbed the suitcase in his magic by way of demonstration, "As well as wearing this cunning disguise." He gestured to the brown tweed suit and matching flat cap he wore with one hoof between steps. Concord, like most stallions, considered himself rather oblivious to the world of fashion, but he was fairly certain that Blueblood's chosen outfit clashed magnificently with his mane and coat.

"Fair points, boss. But, let me circle back to something here...Is this your first time in a small town where you wouldn't be recognized on sight?" By this point, the clusters of ponies had started to stare at the two strange stallions in undisguised curiosity. Some of them, mostly mares, Concord noticed, were following the two of them from a discrete distance, chatting quietly with each other. Of all the times to have a Special Somepony...ah well.

Something in Concord's leading questions seemed to have gotten through Blueblood's noggin. He glanced around and started to note the same things Concord had already done. "Ah...oh dear."

Concord gave him a rueful grin. "I would have said something if I thought it'd make a difference. Shoot, I was actually hoping that I was wrong." Having grown up in a town not unlike Ponyville, where a newcomer would be Scrutinized¹ and Interrogated²
_{1: Albeit with varying degrees of subtlety
2: With approaches ranging from Outright Hostility to Detailed and Sincere Inquiries Regarding The Stranger's Background and Interests, the latter of which Concord had seen result in no less than three marriages.}

Blueblood paused and considered his valet. "Concord, if I did not trust your judgement, I wouldn't have hired you in the first place." One of his blond eyebrows arched imperiously. "So, Concord, how likely is it that Miss Rarity knows of our arrival?"

The pegasus considered that for a second. "Probably still fairly slim. She's a working mare, and an industrious one at that. Odds are good she's shut up in her shop, either working with a client or on new material."

"So, if I were to show up with, say, flowers, it would probably come across as a bit forward, wouldn't you say?"

"Like a freight train. Loaded with Dynamite. On Fire. Careening off of a cliff, sir."

"Your visual imagery is rich as always, Concord." The aristocratic unicorn frowned, then began looking around town. "But it might provide a reasonable contingency."

"Uh huh." Concord, rather than watching the gaggle of mares watching them³ was instead watching Blueblood. "So, you're gazing around town looking for a flower shop."
_{3:They can smell fear, he reasoned. ⁴
4: He was right.}

"That's right."

"And not because you have no idea where this mare lives."

"Nonsense. I've merely...well, yes, you've got me there."

"So all this talk about flowers was just a pretext to make casual inquiries about her."

"Basically."

Concord rubbed one of his temples with a forehoof. "Boss, we'll get things done a lot faster if you quit beating around the bush." He nudged his boss with an elbow and nodded at a storefront. "C'mon. This seems like a decent spot to make inquiries about your lady. That and I haven't had breakfast yet."

⚜⚜⚜

Applejack whistled to herself as she puttered around with her apple cart filled with baked goods. Granted, she had managed to offload the pies, brown betties, strudel, pies, danishes, muffins, cupcakes, tarts, pies⁵, and cookies with Doughnut Joe at a steep discount, but Granny Smith had been her usual industrious self and produced more with their considerable stock of their namesake fruit for the local Ponyville custom. Granted, she thought to herself, the proceeds from last night's...Escapades weren't quite as profitable as she'd dreamt, but she'd elicited a solid promise from Doughnut Joe that he would tell everypony he sold her wares to where he'd gotten them and, more importantly, where they could be found again and acquired in exchange for bits.

With a sigh, Applejack looked over the ledger she'd brought with her, considering the farm's financial outlook. With that venture last night, we're...well, as much fun as Ah had last night afterward, it weren't no successful excursion. And that puts us behind for this month. Rubbing her head with her forehoof, she pondered the Marketplace. It was a little too early for the Lunch Rush, but there seemed to be a crowd gathering, following a pair of bemused stallions who trotted through town. That's odd, she thought, consulting the Weather and Events calendar she had tacked to one corner of her stall, We're not scheduled to have a parade or musical number until Thursday afternoon. Ah wonder what all the commotion is?One of the stallions, a white coated unicorn wearing an absolutely horrible brown tweed suit and a peaked cap pulled low over his eyes, seemed to be following the other, a green coated pegasus stallion who...who...

Years later, Applejack would vehemently deny anything of the sort, but to her, in that very moment, the green pegasus walking towards her was bathed in a ray of sunlight, tiny flowers sprung up in his hoofprints, and a choir of breezies sang hymns of praise about his flanks, his muscles, and the broad wings folded at his sides. He strode towards her, confident, despite the limp he carried in his right rear leg, and said The Words, The Words she had been waiting for, The Words that she had hoped a Handsome Stallion would say to her from the time just after she got her cutie mark and started to think that maybe colts merited nearly as much interest as apple farming.

⚜⚜⚜

"Excuse me miss, We'd like two apple fritters and directions to Canterlot Boutique. My friend here is in desperate need of a new suit." Concord gave the blonde earth pony mare a friendly smile, passing a hoofful of bits from his saddlebags onto the stall counter. He kept the smile on his face as the mare stared at him, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes wide and pupils dilated. After a half minute, he started to grow concerned and waved a hoof in front of the mare's face. "Hey. Hello in there? Anypony home?"

⚜⚜⚜

He's talkin' to me!

He's trying to buy stuff from me!

Say somethin' ya empty headed fool! Quit droolin' at him like a durn fool!

Applejack shook herself, abruptly aware of just how long she'd been staring at the stallion's handsome features. "Ah, right. Two apple fritters, comin' right up." She turned to where she kept her wares, paused, and turned back, arching an eyebrow. "It...it was apple fritters, right?"

The stallion nodded, his expression one of mingled concern and caution as he spoke. "Are you alright, miss...?"

"Applejack. And sure, Ah'm alright. Jus' had a late night is all." She turned back and, using tongs held in her mouth, filled two small bags with a fritter each, which she placed back on the counter. Great, now he probably think's Ah'm some sorta backwoods bumpkin with barely two brain cells to rub together. So much for that one, AJ. She kept any trace of dismay from her face, instead putting on her Best Customer Service Smile and said "Ah ain't seen y'all 'round here before. If'n you don't mind my askin', where are y'all from?"

The pegasus glanced back over his shoulder. "Just got in from Canterlot. Now, if you don't mind, miss, could you point us towards Carousel Boutique?" He nodded towards his taciturn partner, who glanced away, keeping his cap pulled low over his eyes. "My buddy here needs a new suit."

Applejack gave a low whistle, eyeing up the suit. Though her world of fashion began and ended with the hoof-me-down stetson she wore, an occupational hazard of being friends with Rarity meant that she could recognize a fashion atrocity without it blowing a tuba and breathing fire in front of her. "Lan' sakes, yer not kiddin'. Down the main street yonder, take the second left, and you can't miss it."

"Thanks, Miss Applejack." He reached into his saddlebag and hoofed over a slightly smaller amount of bits, giving her a friendly wink. "Take care of yourself, ok?"

"Sure thing. Thanks for stoppin' by!"

He ain't no regular customer! Git his name, filly! Git his name or you're gonna regret it!

Ah ain't in no state to get all twitterpated over some stallion, even if Ah could bounce a bit off o' them flanks.

Bits? Right, he paid in...Celestia's Crawfish!

⚜⚜⚜

As Concord turned to leave the obviously addled mare, she called out. "Wait! Wait a minute!" She came around the stall at a dead gallop, and Concord had a brief vision of an orange coat, flying blonde mane and tail, and the scent of apple blossoms, lavender and fresh cut timothy hay before he was flattened by a near panicked mare. She stood over him, breathing hard, and managed to gasp out "You fergot your change!"

At a loss, Concord summed up the grand total of his massive reservoir of wit from his days in the guard, and responded "...Huh?" Off to the side, Blueblood seemed to be choking on something. Concord decided to file that away for later, once his boss earned some suitably petty revenge.

Blushing, Applejack stepped back and gestured to the stall. "You didn't give me a chance to give you your change."

Wincing as he came to his hooves, Concord shook his head. "Consider it a tip. If those fritters taste as good as they smell, they're worth every bit."

Applejack rubbed a forehoof into the ground, suddenly bashful, and wishing that the ground would swallow her up and save her from embarrassing herself. Again. "Aw shucks, just some down home cookin' is all." She gave him a sly look. "But if nothin' else, Ah'd like to have yer name. Seems only fair, as I gave you mine."

Relief crossed Concord's face and he nodded. "Seems only fair. Call me Concord." He gave her a wink which Applejack firmly told herself did not make her heart go Pitter Pat, and then turned to leave. "See you around sometime, Miss Applejack.

⚜⚜⚜

Once they were safely out of earshot, Concord glanced over at his employer. "Oh go ahead, you know you want to laugh."

"Oh no" Blueblood shook his head, poorly restrained mirth lacing his words, "Far be it from me to get in the way of your paramour's affections."

"Hah!" Concord shook his head. "If my luck holds really true, somehow Daisy's going to hear about this, and then I'll have Tartarus to pay."

"Flowers?" Blueblood asked, curious.

"Jewelry, at least." Concord corrected, glumly. "Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet filly. But she's got a temper something fierce."

"Don't worry, my faithful valet. My lips shall be sealed regarding your, ah, 'side piece', I think the expression is."

Concord sighed as they rounded the corner, catching sight of the large building that was, unmistakably, Carousel Boutique. They paused, considering the building's construction, and Concord glanced aside at his employer.

"Nervous, boss?"

"Terrified." Blueblood said, his expression serious. "Scared beyond all reason." He took a deep breath in through his nose, letting it out slowly. "But that's the time when you must act. Come, friend Concord. Once more, into the breach."

And, acting at least forty times bolder than he felt, Blueblood strode towards the front door.

Author's Note:

After consideration, I had to break up this minor arc into two chapters. Stay tuned for the next chapter, due out sometime in the next couple of weeks.

Comments

[MaverickHunter13]

Oh snap, Concord's gol durn done did it now...

[Snaproll]

10378694
Poor sap. And he doesn't even know what he's done. I almost...almost feel sorry for getting him into this.