The Long Way Round

by Snaproll

Chapter 3

Rarity sat in her workshop, considering the bare ponnikins standing around her, their mute audience her only companions in the creative process.

Almost.

"Hey Rarity! Me and Applebloom and Scootaloo are headed out to Sugar Cube Corner! Do you want us to pick up anything for you?" Sweetie Belle called as she led a small, loud freight train cleverly disguised as the other Cutie Mark Crusaders downstairs, making enough of a racket to drown out Rarity's creative muse. Taking a deep breath through her nose and suppressing a sigh, Rarity shook her head and turned to regard her younger sister and her partners in crime. "No, thank you, Sweetie Belle. I'm on the cusp of my new fall line, and must be left undisturbed!" And, after the binge at Doughnut Joe's, if I never see another cruller in my life it will be too soon. She turned and gave her sister a fond smile. "You go on and have fun. And remind Pinkie for me that she needs to hang her dress! I simply cannot abide wrinkles!"

Instead of charging through the front door in pursuit of Cutie Mark related glory, Sweetie and her friends stopped and traded a look with each other before Sweetie tentatively asked "So, how was the Gala last night?"

"Last night was..." Drat. How can I be honest with Sweetie and at the same time not crush the dreams of a young filly? Rarity's mind cast about for a word that would fill the need and landed upon..."Memorable. Exceptionally memorable."

"Did you meet that stallion you've had your eye on?¹"

Ugh... Rarity thought to herself, did I ever! And good riddance, too! Out loud, she said. "A lady does not speak of such things, dear little sister. Besides", she added, hoping that this would head her curious sibling off on another line of questioning, "I don't want to think about Stallions at the moment! I've got designs to focus on! Now shoo! Off with you! And be home by sundown!" She called, returning to her sketchbook, an idea for a daring new dress and hemline practically demanding to be drawn before the muse left her.

_{1: Sweetie Belle was no stranger to her older sister's habits, and had decided this was a more tactful expression than "Constructed a Shrine To In Your Bedroom". Particularly since, by Sweetie's count, Rarity had at least two different shrines established and, given her older sister's habits of watching Thunderlane on the weather patrol, was about to establish a third.}

"Looks like you might not have much of a choice, Miz Rarity." Applebloom piped up from the window, staring out front. "You've got a couple of stallions on their way in."

"At least they're handsome." Scootaloo chimed in, studying the two approaching stallions with a curious eye.

Overcome by curiosity at her friend's comments, Sweetie Belle joined them at the window. "And one of them really needs your help." She glanced back at her sister, her expression earnest. "I don't know fashion like you, sis, but the suit he's wearing...well, you'll see in a moment."

Well, if I must get a handsome stallion's measurements, I must, Rarity thought to herself, ruefully. A seamstress' life is all but dull drudgery. "Oh, very well. Try not to trample over them as you're leaving, girls." Rarity called absently, floating an array of measuring tapes from her work bench in preparation for her next upcoming clients. If this doesn't get that Blueblooded Boor out of my thoughts, I don't know what will.

⚜⚜⚜

"How do I look, Concord?" Blueblood gave himself a final once over.

"Like an affront to the fashion sensibilities of a generation, boss."

"Perfect." Blueblood raised a hoof to knock on the door, but before he could, the door slammed open, catching him full in the face and knocking him flat. A trio of fillies dashed out, trampling over the prostrate stallion. The last one, a white unicorn filly with a pale lavender and pink mane and tail stopped and considered what she and her friends had done. "Hey mister, are you alright?"

"Maybe you should get offa his stomach first." Applebloom suggested diffidently from one side.

"Oops! Sorry mister!" She scrambled to one side, while the slightly flattened unicorn was helped to his hooves by his green pegasus companion, who was suppressing a good deal of inner merriment. "Are you ok, sir?"

Blueblood took a deep breath, making sure his lungs still worked. "Oh, I'm fine, fine, thank you, young miss." He glanced at the door that hung open, curious. "Is Miss Rarity Belle in?"

"Sure! She's just working on her new fall line, or something. Go on in."

Concord glanced over at Blueblood. "If you don't mind, I'll wait out here for you, sir. I don't want to get in the way."

Blueblood nodded, steeling himself. "Righto." And with that, he strode through the front door, shutting it behind him and leaving the grown pegasus and three fillies staring after him.

Concord glanced aside at the trio. "I'm guessing Miss Rarity doesn't entertain...ah...gentlestallion callers very often?"

Sweetie Belle pondered, and then shook her head. "No. She really doesn't." She cast a glance at the door herself, and then back over at Concord. "Is this your friend's first time calling on a lady?"

Concord considered that for a minute. Granted, his employer and friend was suave and self assured. But he had some fairly large blind spots as far as the fairer sex was considered. "Yeah. At least, since I've been working f...with him."

There was a silence between the three younger ponies and the one older one, before Scootaloo asked "Wanna listen in on them?"

⚜⚜⚜

Blueblood shut the door behind him, his heart racing. Here it is. When I can start to make everything right. So why am I so nervous?

"Just a moment, darling, I'll be right with you!" Rarity's voice called out from a back room, customer service courtesy turned up to eleven.

Blueblood swallowed against his dry throat. "N-no need to hurry, madam. I'm in no rush."

He busied himself eyeing up her establishment. Granted, Blueblood preferred to put his money to work for him in the form of investments, but judging by the creative disarray around him, Rarity's business was a pleasantly bustling one, though he could scarcely discern a rhyme or reason to any semblance of organization.

"Ah, and now we're ready to begin! What can I do for you, sir?" Rarity's entrance was preceded by four bolts of cloth, bobbins, skeins of thread, and a pincushion full of needles held in her aura. She was humming distractedly to herself.

She's so beautiful. So poised. So...waiting for you to speak! He kicked his brain into gear. "Oh, I was hoping I could acquire a new suit. And give you an apology."

"An apology? What do you have to-" Rarity stopped in mid-bustle to give her attention to her customer. "YOU." Her voice had something hard, serrated, pointy, venomous and, quite possibly, on fire in it. "After LAST NIGHT, you DARE show your face HERE? Wearing THAT?!?"

Maybe I shouldn't have worn the suit. Blueblood thought, starting to "I...well, I came here to say I was-"

"Sorry?! Rarity laughed, an edge of hysteria to her voice. "What makes you suppose that a simple 'Sorry' was going to cut it?!"

⚜⚜⚜

Outside, Sweetie Belle glanced up at Concord. "So, that's Blueblood?"

"Yep."

"The stallion my sister's been mooning about for the better part of the last six months."

"You'd be the better judge of that than I would."

Scootaloo frowned at that. "She doesn't sound like she's all lovey-dovey about him."

All four ponies, young and old, flinched as something heavy crashed against the wall of the Carousel Boutique.

"Yeah...I think Blue might have stepped in it last night." Concord considered the three young fillies for a moment. "Still interested in listening to their" he paused as something else heavy crashed to the ground inside, a percussive counterpoint to the melodious sounds of an angry mare with a full head of steam and the whimpering yelps of the object of her ire. "...conversation?"

Applebloom glanced in the window. "Ah give it at least another hour 'fore they're done."

"Probably two." Sweetie Belle nodded, sagely. "The last time I saw Rarity like this, she carried on until she got hungry, and it's at least two hours until lunchtime." At that, a trio of small bellies rumbled loudly.

Concord nodded at that. While he had some nagging doubts about leaving Blueblood at the mercy of the fair lady Rarity, and though he had always considered himself a brave, stalwart stallion who never left a friend behind, this was no rampaging hydra or out of control bugbear, or even a monstrous dragon₂. Still, this was not a conflict in which a wise stallion inserted himself.

_{2: Though, Concord would later reflect, the parallels were eerily similar.}

"Tell you what. Why don't we go trade notes and get something to eat." He nodded back towards the boutique, and ignored the sounds of his friend begging for mercy. "On my pal's bit."

Three sets of wide, eager eyes stared at him, radiating a sense of anticipation that would only have been exceeded had Concord promised a surcease of homework and the distribution of brand new Cutie Marks.

⚜⚜⚜

"...so, he decided to come here and apologize for his behavior." Concord concluded, taking the opportunity to finish the second of the two fritter's he had bought earlier that morning, savoring the juiciness of the apples married to a perfect blend of sugar, spices, and more sugar.

The trio of fillies contemplated Concord's story, as well as what remained of the small mountain of baked goods that lay before them.

"It all sounds like one of my big sister's romance novels." Sweetie Belle glanced over at her two friends. "You know, the ones I told you about. In her 'Private Stash'³."

_{3: Contrary to Sweetie Belle's assertions, what she had found was simply Rarity's Semi-Private stash, the one which she left easily discovered in case she wanted to lend some books to her friends or throw nosy little sisters off the scent. Rarity's Private Private stash, on the other hoof, contained a great deal of books that were short on story, plot, and character development, though she would argue that they certainly had plenty of Artistic merit.}

Concord arched an eyebrow. "Romance Novels?"

Sweetie Belle nodded. "They weren't very good. Nothing like Daring Do. Lots of boring pages about kissing." She shook her head. "Anyway, they're all the same." She shoved two cupcakes forward with her hooves, then shook one. "I hate you!" She spoke, in a high, squeaky voice. She shook the other one, this time giving it as deep and booming voice she could "I hate you too! I can't stand the sight of you!" Then she shoved them apart. "And then they spend half the book brooding on the other one, and then one does something nice for the other, and then..." She mushed the two cupcakes together at high speed, smattering all four ponies present with frosting.

"OooooOOOoo! Are we having a FROSTING PARTY?!" Before Concord could clear the scattered crumbs of cupcakes from his face, he was confronted by what he was certain was far too much pink before he was nearly suffocated by more buttercream icing than he was aware existed.

From outside the pink, he heard a somewhat familiar female voice. "Consarn it, Pinkie, if you're gonna declare a Frostin' Party, you cain't bring that there cannon to it. It's just too overpowerin'!"

"I can't help it Applejack! If I don't fire it every other day or so, the breech gets gummed up something fierce and then I won't be able to do anything with it! And a Frosting Cannon that doesn't fire is about as useless as...useless as...Help me out here, AJ, the euphemisms are more of a you-phemism thing."

"How about 'Like Wheels on a Tomato.' Now come on, let's git 'em out of this mess." Concord felt a pair of strong hooves hook around his barrel, and with a sucking sound, he was pulled free from the gripping frosting and came face to freckly face with a pair of green eyes.

"Oh!" Applejack let go of the stallion, blushing fiercely. "Ah'm sorry, Ah didn't...you were...frosting covered..."

"I'm fine, miss, but I do appreciate the help." Concord summed up whatever dignity he could muster and gave her what he thought of as his kindest smile."And it gives me a chance to say I was right, your fritters were excellent."

Applejack's psyche, meanwhile, was undergoing a bit of a crisis.

Here he is again! And covered in Buttercream Icing! Have a Taste!

No! Ah got some dignity, after all.

He liked the taste of your fritters, maybe you should offer him a taste of something else you have?

"PIES!" Applejack shouted, blushing even more. "Ah mean...we also make pies, if you'd like to take one home with you."

"Well, I don't...Oh dear." Concord's hazel eyes were drawn from Applejack's green ones to the front door of the Carousel Boutique and following a parabolic arc. "I think I will take you up on that, miss, if you'd just-LOOK OUT!"

Panicked, Concord grabbed Applejack and dragged her out of the trajectory of a beribboned Blueblood, who came crashing through the front window of SugarCube Corner headfirst and didn't stop until he met the front counter of the establishment. Applejack's heart raced as Concord steadied her before he moved over to the comatose unicorn noble. "Hey boss, you ok?"

Blueblood's eyes were crossed, and his voice cracked as he gazed blearily around the ruined shop. "Concord! My dear friend...why are you pink?"

"Long story, boss. I take it the young mare wasn't, ah...receptive to your apologies?"

"The wedding's on a Wednesday, and everything's arranged." Blueblood made airy conducting motions with his forehooves, both his eyes staring in different directions. "Soon her name will change to mine, unless her mind is changed." He tried to get to his hooves, found himself unequal to the task, and threw one of his forehooves against Concord for support. "Concord, yer all sticky. And Pink. Why are you pink, Concord?"

The pegasus stallion glanced over at Applejack, long suffering written on his face. "Miss Applejack, I would be happy to relieve you of three of your pies, if you'll help me get my boss back over to the Ponyville train station. I don't think he's in his right mind after meeting with one of your boon companions."

"Ah see." Applejack was considering the punch-drunk unicorn stallion with a critical eye, torn between cool indifference on behalf of her friend and her maternal instincts screaming for her to find the poor stallion an ice pack. "Ah suppose I could help you out." She gave a sly look at Concord, fluttering her eyes. "Fer a date, Mister Concord."

"I...um..." Concord glanced at his boss, who was humming Ride of the Valkyries by Wagoner under his breath, and back to Applejack, who was smiling innocently. Concord sighed. "Miss Applejack, you're a lovely young mare, your baking is beyond compare, and I do need to get him", he said, nodding towards Blueblood, "Over there." He concluded, nodding towards the train station. "But currently my heart belongs to a special mare. As tempting as your offer is, I wouldn't be worth much if I betrayed her trust." He hung his head. "If you won't help me for that, that's fine. But I'd rather be honest with you and not lead you on for something."

Applejack took the news better than she herself expected. "Ah...shoot, Mister Concord. Ah suppose ah owe you an apology. Ah barely knew ya and Ah was ready to...nevermind." She shook her head, smiling. "C'mon. Let's git lovercolt here back to the station." She moved to the other side of Blueblood, supporting him between her and Concord.

Concord's eyes rose. "You're still going to help?"

"You were honest with me." Applejack glanced over at him, still blushing. "An' as much as Ah wanted you to tell me what Ah wanted to hear...that means a lot to me. So, consider this as my way of sayin' thanks." She shot him a hard glance. "Provided you pay for the pies, that is."

Concord nodded, grinning. "That and more. Plus damages to SugarCube Corner caused by my boss'...um...Kinetic Entrance."

"That's right decent of you." Between the two of them, Applejack and Comstock managed to support Blueblood out of the front door of SugarCube Corner.

"So, you got a special mare in your life, huh?"

"I suppose so, yeah. Though it's been a few weeks since we've seen each other. But I miss her a lot."

"Well, Ah suppose she's a lucky mare to have a stallion like you in her life."

"Thank you, Miss Applejack, but I'm just an average stallion. I'm pretty sure she's deluded into believing things about me that really aren't so."

"Ah wouldn't be too sure about that." Applejack gave him a smile. "There's few enough stallions out there who'd be honest about that. They'd just let a filly help them out and then ferget all about her. Yer a good 'un, Concord."

Concord smiled, blushing himself. "I suppose I'll have to take your word for it, Miss Applejack."

"Ya kinda have to. Element of Harmony and all that."

"Gotcha."

"Ah got one more question fer ya, Concord."

"Fire away."

"So, is this the same Prince Blueblood that gave Rarity such a hard time last night?"

Concord sighed. "So, let me explain what my boss was doing. Even if it was the dumbest thing on Equestria..."

And as the sun reached its zenith over Ponyville, Concord began to relate the story of Blueblood's side of things to Applejack as the three ponies staggered their way to the station.

Comments

[The Great Derpsby]

Am I the only one who thinks it's not okay to violently assault someone who's trying to apologise for something they did once, creating serious property damage in the process, and then making the party who got assaulted pay for it?

I hope someone points this out at some point. And I hope it's not considered "not so bad" because Blueblood is male and Rarity female.

I like the premise, but this really bothers me.

[Snaproll]

11047852
In the real world? You're absolutely right.

In the world of cartoon smol horses where injuries don't stick unless they're plot relevant & musical numbers break out? Less so.