Daring Do and the Iron Pyramid

by Unwhole Hole

Chapter 7: Young Pegasi Tend to Flirt

Night fell, and it was unlike any night Daring Do had ever seen. Nearly every night she could remember involved a world illuminated by artificial glow, from magical lamps, fireflies, candles and fires and strange inventions involving glass and vacuum seals. She supposed that the light from below was the reason she could never see the stars above.

Except here, there were no stars. There was no moon. Only blackness, and a darkness she could feel. Had it not been for the feeble lights strung through the camp, she would have been totally unable to see even a hoof in front of her face, let alone move around. It was almost darker than the inside of the tomb.

She understood why the griffons had not seen the thestrals. The thestrals, she supposed, did not need to see.

In the camp, though, life was still bustling, although more slowly. Most of the tents had been rebuilt, and the griffons had stacked themselves inside several of them in large, purring piles. At least the ones that Captain Gruff had not goaded into the night watch. At least half of them were patrolling the camp. Most looked sleepy and annoyed, but a few waved to her as she passed. They knew who was paying them.

Most of the archaeological team, likewise, had gone to bed. Their lights were out, and they were sleeping soundly, preparing for the work they would have the next day when the sun arose. If it ever did rise. In this region, that was not a certainty.

Wun, though, was not asleep. She rarely did. Her light was visible on the distant side of the camp, illuminating the largest of the tents with a strange and unnatural glow.

In the distance, Daring could see the shadows beyond the camp. As if the light just stopped. And, from that, she saw the reflection of eyes. She heard them sometimes call. The sha were watching.

Also at the edge, she Cretin standing as still as he could, trying to look as non-suspicious as possible and failing at it badly. In fact, he was barely standing. He seemed to be leaning at an almost impossible angle.

Then the shadows beside him moved. Thestrals emerged at the edge of the camp, not knowing that Daring Do was watching. One of them approached Cretin, looking around suspiciously. The pair of them stood there for a moment, looking around before the thestral produced a large bottle of punch from her robes. Cretin, likewise, produced a mango. They traded the two in silence. By the time Cretin had finished drinking it, the thestrals were gone and Cretin stood there, dumbfounded as to where the bottle had gone. He had, apparently, drank the whole thing.

Daring Do started laughing, although tried to be quiet about it. She supposed the thestrals were maybe not as bad as she thought, just hesitant. Maybe by the time the dig showed them that there was really nothing to be afraid of, they would even be friendly.

Yawning, Daring Do decided that it was probably time for her to go to bed as well. She herself did not have to do any actual work, but she still needed to be fresh for the next day. Maybe the archeological team would even let her help.

As she thought about the team and walked to her tent, she suddenly stopped. A thought had occurred to her, and her heartbeat suddenly quickened. She had realized that there was, in fact, a good chance that Caballeron was still awake—and that no one was stopping her from going to his tent instead of hers.

The idea of it was simultaneously frightening and terrifying. Going to a colt or stallion’s tent at night was something she, for the first time, could do, probably without any sort of consequences—but she had no idea if that was a thing she would normally do. She never had a chance. The only colts she had ever known were servants, and half of them were geldings. The other half were always perpetually serious.

“That’s not the point,” she said to herself. “I would just be saying hi. He’s probably sleeping anyway.” She took a few steps forward. “Besides. He’s a jerk anyway. A firm, strong, archaeology-minded jerk...”

A passing pair of griffons snickered, pointing. Daring looked back, and realized that her wings had betrayed her.

“Darn it,” she muttered, admitting defeat. Then, against her own better judgment, she found herself walking to his tent.

It was on the far edge of the village. He had picked a spot not far from the pyramid itself. Daring paused, breathing hard and considering turning back, but she saw dim light under the edge of his tent. He was still awake.

“Just saying hi,” she said, taking a breath.

She approached the tent, pushing back the flap. It was a relatively large structure, one meant to hold a small bag for sleeping, a desk, and a place for him to work in translations in peace.

“Hey, Pontracio,” she said. “So, runes, right?”

She face-hooved, realizing how stupid that sounded. Only then did she notice the sight of his hooves splayed out on the floor, behind his desk.

“Wait, what the—hey, Caballeron!”

She turned the corner to find him shirtless. This sight normally would have been either critically embarrassing or deafeningly exciting—despite the fact that most ponies did not, in fact, ordinarily wear clothing—except that he was slumped against his overturned chair, sweating and pale, clutching his right hoof. His upper limb was red and swollen, with a number of red lines extending from a pair of red holes. Fang marks.

Caballeron sat up from his daze in a start, wincing from the pain as he moved. He saw Daring Do and reached for his shirt, pulling bandages over the wound. “Do you MIND?! Did you even KNOCK?!”

“It’s a tent, how the heck am I supposed to knock?” Daring Do reached out and pulled back the bandages, once again revealing the wound. She looked at Caballeron, aghast. “The snakes, one bit you.”

“Such powers of observation you possess.”

“But that was hours ago, in the tomb when--” Daring Do gasped and reddened. “It must have been when you saved me...”

“If it had bit you, you would be in a coma within an hour, or worse. But I am an earth pony we are...” He winced. “...more resistant. In ancient times, the unicorns would inject us...with venom...to generate antivenom...”

“This isn’t ancient times! You’re sick--”

“And I will recover. Just leave me alone.” He pulled his shirt on, or tried to. He tried to stand, but the pain set him back down on the floor and so he instead sat up, as if he intended to calmly sit there.

“You’re not okay. Hold on! Stay right there!”

With a rush of air, Daring shot out of the tent, nearly tearing it down in the process. She vanished into the night.

Caballeron rolled his eyes. “And where, pray tell, am I supposed to go?” He groaned. “I can’t walk...and I’m in a desert...in the middle of nowhere...no hospitals, no medicine...”

Daring Do suddenly returned, dropping a pile of various dried plants on the ground. Caballeron stared at them, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t think a salad is what I need right now.”

“If you’re not going to help, shut your speech hole.” Daring Do began picking up the herbs and shoving them in her mouth, chewing them loudly.

“You close your speech hole, that is disgusting! Where you raised in a barn?!”

Daring Do made a rude gesture, and then rolled the ball in her mouth. She grasped Caballeron’s foreleg and pulled it outward. Caballeron nearly fainted from the pain as Daring Do spat the contents of her mouth into the wound, and then slapped it with great vigor.

“What in the name of Celestia’s tail dock!” screamed Caballeron, recoiling. “That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life and...” He frowned, and then looked down. “...and it no longer hurts?”

“Snakeroot, blue nightshade, buckthorn, creeping oleander, and equal parts bloodgrass and devil grass. Also some cinnamon, usually, for the smell, but we didn’t have any so...don’t sniff it.”

Caballeron’s eyes widened. “Half those are toxic and the other half are deadly.”

Daring rolled her eyes. “Trust me. I learned at a very young age not to swallow.” She frowned. Then her legs buckled and she collapsed to the ground.

“Daring!”

“Making it does poison ponies, though. A little bit. Um...is it okay if I wait here with you for a little bit? Until it wears off and I can, you know...walk?”

Caballeron sighed. He sat up and pulled a blanket off his meager bed and threw it over her. She grabbed the edges and pulled it around her. “Thanks.”

“Creeping oleander will lower your metabolism. Honestly, what a reckless thing to do.” He sat up, flexing his limb. It ached, apparently, but did not pain him nearly as severely as it once had. “Where did you even learn to do that?”

“My father keeps zebras. Ones he retrieved when on safari. Some of them taught me how to do things.”

Caballeron frowned. “Ah,” he said. “Safaris. The wealthy in the savanna, shooting pictures of animals.”

Daring’s expression darkened. “Sure…‘pictures’...”

“A strange thing for you to know. When your father could pay for the very best of medical care.”

“Says the guy who took a snake to the leg for me. And trust me, it’s not the first time I’ve used it.” Daring pulled down the collar of her shirt, revealing a small, barely perceptible scar of two small dots.

Caballeron squinted. “What was that?”

“A cobra. When I was eight. I snuck out and got into the Singapone jetstream. Took it all the way to jungles up north. I was lost for three weeks.”

Caballeron’s eyes widened. “You’re joking.”

Daring Do parted the blanket, pointing at her rump. “Compass cutie mark. I had to get it somewhere.”

“And your father never sent somepony to look?”

Daring chuckled, putting her rump back under the blanket. “You’ve never lived with unicorns, have you?”

“No. Not generally.”

“They don’t experience love. Just calculation, I guess. I could get attacked by cobras in front of them, they would expect me to deal with it while they just watch. It’s expected.” Daring sighed. “It’s something you learn to tolerate.”

“Apart from being a member of the wealthiest family in Equestria and having limitless funds, sure. I suppose that must be a terrible life.”

Daring frowned. “I never said it was hard. My life is great. Just...” She lowered her eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t even know how to describe it. I’ve never talked about it before.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s just how my life went.”

“No. Not that.” Caballeron sighed. “I’ve been unduly mean to you. I’m sorry for that.” He shifted position, sighing. “You did save my life down there.”

“And you saved mine.” Daring pointed at his leg.

“But you beat me a second time. If I had translated that lock wrong, who knows what it would have done to us?” He smiled slightly. “Although I still maintain that my translation was the correct one.”

“But the rune--”

“Reacted to the pure blood of a unicorn. Who is also part of the Trinity. Her blood would have worked for either translation, so at present we have no proof one way or the other.”

Daring Do stared at him, and then laughed softly. Caballeron did as well.

“Alright, fine. We’ll call that one a draw. So we’re even, then?”

“I don’t keep score when it comes to mares.”

Daring felt herself blushing—or probably would have been, had her blood pressure not been falling to a dangerously low level.

“Heh...well, I showed you mine. How about you show me yours?”

Caballeron gaped. “Ex—excuse me?!”

“Your cutie mark. You’re a linguist with a golden skull on his flank. That’s not exactly normal.”

“Ah.” Caballeron turned himself, looking down at the mark. Then he shifted again, staring at the tent wall. “Indeed. I suppose it’s only fair. You see, I am a pony of quite humble birth. I am Andalucian. My parents were farmers. We were quite poor.”

“Oh,” said Daring Do, looking down at the floor. She somewhat understood why he did not like her.

“Life was not easy. One year, the rain, it did not come. Not when it should have. And the crops were dying. We would have starved.”

“But what happened?”

“I struck out to plow a new field. And when I did, I found an incredible artifact. How it got there, I do not know. Perhaps dropped by a retreating army in ancient times, or left from a band of thieves. But it was valuable. Solid gold. When we sold it, we had enough money to survive that year.”

“You saved your family?”

“Yes,” said Caballeron. A thin smiled crossed his lips, but his eyes were desperately cold. “I did. And finding it was my spark of inspiration. My parents wanted me to be a farmer, like them. But I had resolved not to live in poverty.”

“So you became an academic? You went into the wrong field.”

“I went into the field I was good at. And with some know-how and hard work, I can make money here, too. It only requires patience.”

“So for you its finding the artifacts.”

“Excuse me?”

“Why you went into archaeology. I felt it too. When we found that honker of a crystal. That’s what you’re looking for, isn’t it?”

Caballeron’s smile grew. “You might say that, yes.” He shrugged. “So many of my peers are content to sweep dirt to dig up tiny shards of broken pots and claim them as exquisite victories. As a linguist, I could make my career in a library. Yet I do not.” He paused again. “I think...I think you might be the first pony I have met who understands why.”

“For me it’s a little different, I think.” Daring Do shifted under her blanket. “When I was little, my dad was...distant, and Wun was...well, Wun. I know I’m rich, so I never needed anything, really. I had food, fancy clothes, tutors of every language and on every subject...but they never really understood me, I guess. Except when it came to archeology.”

“Wun Hun-Dredd Perr-Synt is known worldwide for his extensive collection of artifacts. And, from what I hear, his eldest nearly matches it.”

Daring smiled. “When it came to those, there was...I guess a connection. We understood each other. All three of us. When I was a filly, that was my favorite thing. For him to show me the artifacts and talk about the cultures they came from, and the places they were taken from, and the stories that came with each one.”

“And you never set out to find them on your own?”

“I never thought I could. I had to beg Wun to ask for me on this trip.” She chuckled. “I used to spend nights dreaming about the tombs and temples my father described. Of walking through them, seeing the makes of ancient cultures, solving their puzzles and unlocking their secrets.” She looked up at Caballeron, who was himself blushing slightly. “I guess it isn’t really like that, though?”

“It is mostly sweeping dust and reading books, frankly.”

“I thought so.”

“But...on your very first day here, we did find that...how did you put it? The ‘honker’ of a crystal?”

Daring laughed, and in trying to suppress it accidentally snorted. Caballeron chuckled.

“Well, I suppose passion for the subject must be genetic,” he admitted, eventually.

“I think I’m living proof it isn’t.”

Caballeron raised one of his large eyebrows. “I do not understand.”

Daring Do pointed to her forehead. “I don’t exactly have a curved horn, if you didn’t notice.”

“Well, I had assumed that your mother—”

“Was the maid?”

Caballeron reddened and sputtered. “I—I had not said that, nor implied--”

Daring laughed. “That’s most people’s first thought, isn’t it? Fluffy, innocent Pegasus girl and a wealthy, unmarried purelbood unicorn? It makes a nice story, right? Sometimes I even like to believe it myself. Except they’re not like us. Different chromosomes.”

“I’m sorry, I did not realize--”

“My biological father was Ner-Do-Well.”

Caballeron gasped and leaned forward. “The famous art dealer, by far the most successful of his kind in all of Equestria? You’re HIS daughter?”

“If by ‘art dealer’ you mean ‘broker in illegal, stolen, and culturally critical, sacred artifacts torn from the peoples who created them and marketed to the ultra-rich to put in their bathrooms’?”

“You make it almost sound repugnant, when his acumen was so legendary—but he has not been seen in fifteen years...”

“Because he went into hiding. And left me with his biggest client.” Daring Do sighed. “Celestia...I’ve never told this to anypony before...”

“If I may be cruel?”

“You haven’t asked before.”

“Because I did not like you before. Why disparage your father when you are continuing his work?”

Daring sighed. She was amazed how easily he had seen through her, to the thing that had kept her up at night for the better part of a decade. “I figure that artifacts are just artifacts. It doesn’t matter if they’re in a tomb or in Wun’s museum. But if Wun has them, they’re safer. Nopony gets hurt, and the artifacts stay safe. Even if they’re sacred, they can be sacred on a shelf with a little brass tag.”

“How amoral.”

Daring’s wings stiffened. “Excuse me?”

“It means lacking morality.”

“Great. Stop getting my hopes up.”

“I am sorry. But it is not illogical. Noble, even, to protect them. And you clearly show great loyalty to your sister, which is always admirable. I had no siblings myself out of poverty. But I assume you two grew up together?”

Daring shrugged. “Wun very much liked the idea of having a little sister. She was in her late seventies at the time, and I think she was getting lonely.”

Caballeron sputtered. “Seventies?”

Daring grinned at him. “Unicorns don’t age like we do.”

“But the things she was saying to me—such lewd things--”

“She has an earthie-boy fetish.”

“I am not a boy! I am a stallion!”

“Not compared to her. And if you did walk over there? You could definitely get a snuggle.”

Caballeron stared at her, perplexed and disturbed. “And...should I?”

“My advice? Definitely not. Not ever. It’s a trap.”

Caballeron winced. “As in…?”

“As in, she makes ponies think they can use her affection for them as leverage. But you can’t. Unicorns don’t feel affection. She leverages it against you.”

“But…but why earth ponies?”

Daring Do stared up at him. “Because she likes to watch your kind atrophy and age while she stays young forever. It makes her feel powerful.”

“Ah.” Caballeron shivered. “Then I shall not.”

“You can snuggle me if you want, though?”

Caballeron turned several shades of red darker. Daring Do roughly matched the color.

“I—I do believe that would be highly inappropriate,” he said.

Daring almost collapsed from embarrassment. “Yeah, I figured it was. But you don’t get far in life without taking risks?”

“Age about two years and try again when your father is not paying me.” Caballeron reached behind him and removed another blanket from his bed. The night had started to grow very cold. “I am a professional, after all.”

“I know.”

“That said...” He wrapped the blanket around himself and lay down, facing Daring Do. “If you wish, you can sleep here tonight. I do not feel comfortable letting you be alone after the herbs you’ve been exposed to. Besides, we need to wake up early tomorrow. Although you clearly lack any formal training in the subject, I think that working together we can make considerable progress.”

Daring smiled. She could barely hide that she was overjoyed by his confidence. “I would very much like that.”

Caballeron smiled back. “Then go to sleep.”

Daring Do knew that she would certainly be able to—and promptly collapsed into a heap, snoring away on the desert floor.

Comments

[alamais]

“Because she likes to watch your kind atrophy and age while she stays young forever. It makes her feel powerful.”

That's a yikes from me, dawg.

Daring smiled. She could barely hide that she was overjoyed by his confidence.

Aww, they're so cute now.

[ponepony]

“They don’t experience love. Just calculation, I guess. I could get attacked by cobras in front of them, they would expect me to deal with it while they just watch. It’s expected.” Daring sighed. “It’s something you learn to tolerate.”

Twilight must be a very interesting princess of friendship in this universe then.