I'm a WHAT NOW?!

by Neospace0900

The Palate of a Pony

Chapter 2: The Palate of a Pony

"I don't trust that guy," said Mr. Dough to his family, who were patiently awaiting their new guest.

"Why not?" asked Tiger Lily, completely unaware of the noises made by the clumsy pony in the room above.

"Why should I trust him?" he replied with extra emphasis on the "should." "Why didn't he try to stand up during any part of our conversation with him?"

"Maybe he's just sore or something," suggested Mrs. Dough, trying to defend him. "He was unconscious for three days, after all."

"Oh yeah? What about his cutie mark?" he questioned.

"What about it?" asked Tiger Lily. "Was there something bizarre about it?"

"Nope. There wasn't anything bizarre about that cutie mark of his," he answered.

"There! If there's nothing bizarre about his cutie mark, then there isn't really a point to be had about how suspicious it is. You should really think things through before accusing people, Dad."

"You didn't let me finish. There's nothing bizarre about it because he didn't have one," he said.

"Oh..." she said, looking defeated.

"It could be because of his amnesia," offered Mrs. Dough. "He could have very easily forgotten what his special talent is."

Tiger Lily instantly perked up after this suggestion. "That's right! You can't know what you're good at if you can't remember anything!"

Mr. Dough glared at his wife for defending the object of his suspicion again. "Speaking of amnesia, was it just me, or did he look a little too happy when you suggested that possibility?" he asked.

Mrs. Dough looked as though she were deep in thought. After thinking for a few moments, she was stumped. "So what if he's a little suspicious?" she asked.

"I'm just worried that he might try to do something to you. I don't know what I'd do if..." he broke off. He then looked down at the ground, trying to hold back a tear. Mrs. Dough also looked rather depressed. Tiger Lily, on the other hand, just looked confused.

"I know how you feel," said Mrs. Dough, "but maybe this one is different. Not everypony would do something like that."

"I know," Mr. Dough said, having calmed down a little, "but I can't shake this feeling that something is wrong with that stallion."
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Meanwhile: (Upstairs)

Gingersnap walked through the halls of his new home. "You know; I think I'm starting to get used to the whole 'walking' thing. Now I just need to figure out how to get home and I'll finally be happy!" he said to himself. He's managed to calm down a little bit, despite this new world that he found himself in. He still didn't know how this happened to him, but he assumed things might start to become clear eventually. After walking for a little, he came to a complete, although not too smooth, halt. He stared at the challenge that had arrived before him.

"Ah. My old enemy: stairs," he said. It was a simple staircase, nothing that he hadn't seen before, but it seemed like a completely new thing to him.

After devising a battle plan, he cautiously took his first step onto the top stair. So far, so good. Now for the other arm. He then placed his other front hoof onto the step below the first. Pleased with how he hadn't fallen yet, he continued with the same pattern he just used. He was only able to repeat it once before making an important discovery: he had completely forgotten about his back legs.

Crap! Now what do I do? Maybe I could take the one leg and place it there? As he thought of how he would fix this, he slowly took one hind leg and placed it on the stair. This left him in a rather awkward position to balance in. He then lifted the other leg to correct this issue. To put it simply, he very quickly found himself tumbling down the stairs. He eventually landed in the doorway of the dining room.

"Owww..." he muttered through clenched teeth.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a doctor," said Mrs. Dough. She then left the building.

Tiger Lily immediately rushed to aid the fallen Gingersnap. "Are you okay?! Where does it hurt?! How did this happen?! Are you going to live?! PLEASE DON'T DIE!!!!!" she questioned in rapid succession

"In that order: I'll be fine. Just about everywhere. I tripped. I will live," he answered. "I just fell down the stairs. I'm not going to die from that."

"Really? Do you fall down the stairs often?"

"I can't say that I do. Falling up the stairs, though..."

"Up the stairs?" she asked with a very confused expression. "What do you do? Do you just go 'pffft. Screw gravity' then fly up the stairs? I think you'd need to be a pegasus to do that."

Really? Gingersnap thought. Pegasi live here too? Next thing they're going to tell me is that dragons live here.

"Now that I think about it, an older dragon could fly up the stairs. But I don't think that older dragons would need stairs, though."

I have no comment. He then stood up, wincing at the new pain in his hooves. He moved slowly and awkwardly, but he managed to reach the table. Carefully examining how Mr. Dough, who didn't leave his seat, was sitting, he tried to sit down at the place he thought was his. He stumbled a little, but he figured his newest injuries would cover for his awkward movements.

Laying on the table in front of him was a slice of apple pie, a sandwich with some yellow poking out of it (he assumed it was just some cheese), and a cup filled with a yellow liquid.

Please be lemonade. I don't want to see life's manager or anything like that. I don't have any engineers to make combustible lemons. I just want that to be lemonade! he begged to whatever gods may govern this world filled with talking horses.

He reached over to pick up his sandwich. After fumbling for a little, he managed to actually lift it off of his plate. Upon taking a bite, he was greeted by an unfamiliar taste. He didn't hate the taste of it. In fact, this is one of the best sandwiches he ever tasted. Before his swallowed it, he asked, "Whach in dish sandvich?"

"Just some freshly made bread and some daffodils," responded Mr. Dough.

Upon hearing the word daffodil, he immediately spit out the sandwich, causing petals to fly everywhere, especially into Mr. Dough's mane. He then tried to cleanse his tongue with a disgusted look on his face. His expression became even more disgusted after realizing he didn't know where his hooves have been and how clean they were. Tiger Lily laughed at the scene while Mr. Dough tried to get the daffodil petals out of his mane. After noticing the petals, he apologized for what happened.

"Are you allergic to daffodils or something?" asked Mr. Dough, having removed as many petals as he could. "I knew I should have used daisies," he then muttered to himself.

"No. It's nothing like that," replied Gingersnap. "I just wasn't expecting anything so... floral."

"What were you expecting then? Cheese?" questioned Tiger Lily, lightly chuckling as if she made a joke.

"Yes, actually," he responded. "Would you happen to have some?" he asked, looking rather serious.

Tiger Lily and Mr. Dough looked at each other for a brief moment before bursting out into laughter. After calming down, Mr. Dough said, "Look, we may be a bit better in the bit department that some other ponies, but we're not that rich."

"Oh," sighed Gingersnap. He then took another bite of the sandwich, this time allowing it to be swallowed. It was at this point that his stomach spoke louder than his desire to eat a sandwich with no petals. He then wolfed the sandwich down fast enough to put most speed eaters to shame. He then set his sights on the pie that sit on the plate in front of his sandwich-less hooves. "There's nothing in that pie that I should be concerned about, is there?" he asked, eyeing the pie suspiciously.

"It's just freshly-picked apples and pie crust," assured Mr. Dough.

Seeing no way to pick up the pie without it crumbling in his hooves, he reached over and took a bite out of it.

...

"THIS IS THE BEST PIE IN THE HISTORY OF ALL PIES!!!!!" He yelled for all to hear, causing Mr. Dough to blush a little. He then proceeded to send the pie on a one way trip to his stomach. He decided to slow down while eating this, for he wanted to savor every last moment with this delectable dessert. Upon finishing, he leaned back and unleashed a mighty belch.

"My complements to the chef!" he praised.

"What else would you expect from the 6 year reigning champion of the Ponyville Pie Baking Contest?" he boasted.

"But what about that Applejack pony who keeps beating you?" asked Tiger Lily.

"Shhhh! He doesn't need to know that!" he said in a loud whisper.

At this time, Gingersnap stood up to leave. Before he had the chance to, Mr. Dough stopped him. "Before you leave, I have some things I want to ask you," he said, looking serious.

"Ask away," Gingersnap replied with a calm expression. This expression was able to effectively mask the terror that he felt.

"I'm just going to be honest with you. Do you really have am-"

He was cut off by the door being blown open, attracting the attention of everypony present. "I came as soon as I heard!" announced the mare that walked in the door. She was a light red unicorn that wore a lab coat and had a stethoscope dangling around her neck. Her teal mane was pulled tightly into a bun, with only a strand or two of hair hovering in front of her emerald green eyes. She had a "tattoo" of a red cross on her flank.

At least it's better than bread, thought Gingersnap.

"Where is Gingersnap? I need to perform some medical examinations immediately!" she announced. She then scanned the room for her newest patient. Eventually, her eyes spotted the unicorn that she was looking for. She then gasped very loudly.

"It's you!"

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Note from the author: Any comments, questions, critiques, etc. are greatly appreciated. It also wouldn't hurt to like or favorite.

Comments

[M3Xkillers]

Ahh, for the doctor... I think it would be...

I don't know

[pahnazd]

Doctor... uh... (lame mode activated) Whitecoat? Although that'd be more of a psychiatric ward doctor
Quick Fix? I dunno, not very good at names myself, sorry.

However I do wonder where will this evolve - you did catch my attention, can't wait to see how will all of this play out

[AllPonyProductions]

Portal and asdf movie references

[Brony Dragon]

that aquerd moment when you think something nasty is tasty

[SuperMarioDemon]

"Ah. My old enemy: stairs,"

Kung Fu Panda 2 reference.