Google Translate be like:

by Lame Joke

Original letter

Dear Princess Celestia,

I don't understand why Twilight is the only pony that gets to be a princess out of the six of us. Heck, she's like, the nerdiest one! Who wants a nerd to rule Equestria?

Me, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie had done as much, if not more than Twilight to help defend Equestria from all sorts of villain. Well, on second thoughts maybe not Pinkie, all she does is just brings cupcake and stuff them into her mouth, but that's not the point. Just because Twi gets to say all the fancy words before defeating the villain and is somehow lucky enough to land a leading role in the elements of harmony doesn't mean that she's the best at being a princess, right?

I mean, look at Applejack! She has as much leadership skills as Twilight because she knows how to run a barn and make good apples. And the cider is the best. Ah yes, the cider. I'm gonna go get some of it now, please excuse the stains if I accidentaly spilled the cider. So, obviously Applejack can be a better ruler than Twilight, she can just bribe the villains with her cider to get them chucked into jail, its so worth it. But she's racist though, cuz she sang that racist song, something about racist barn. Eh, she might not be good material for a princess after all.

Rarity can be a good princess also. She runs a boutique for fuck's sake! She makes a better princess than Twilight because she, uh, dresses in style? Do princesses need to dress in style? I'll take it as a no, but still Rarity is more presentable than Twi, just look at Twilight when she casted that spell on a doll and caused a rampage and a half in Ponyville. However, I bet Rarity sucks at doing stuff, she's only good at making dress. Imagine, the princess of dresses. I almost choked on my cider on that.

Fluttershy is quite cool as a princess. Picture her on a throne with some shades and lookin' smug, that's some princess shit right there. But she's just too timid, or as I always say, being a doormat. And she likes to be a tree. That's weird.

Now that I think about it, Fluttershy can be a doormat and a tree, just let her stand still like a tree in front of the castle and act as a welcome doormat. Heh, no need to thank me.

Pinkie... fuck her. Princess of being stupid and retarded. At least she can defy physics. Speaking of that, she still haven't taught me how to slow down in mid air while jumping into water, I'll have to go over to Sugarcube Corner later.

That leaves me, the perfect princess! You can just come over to Ponyville after reading this and just give me that horn, cuz I'm just that awesome.

Yours sincerely,
Rainbow Dash

Comments

[kitsune_shadow]

...
no comentar

[Godslittleprincess]

(screams in angry) (screams in angry more)(eggs and TPs Rainbow Dash's house in angry)

[RandomGuy101]

10227390
Amen.