1192926 first of all, thanks for the feedback, and second the trixie scene was done by my little brother while he was in the bathroom. i was going to change it but i couldnt bring myself to do it
1192907 the trixie scene was done by my little brother while he was in the bathroom. i was going to change it but i couldnt bring myself to do it, he was so happy that he wrote something for my story.
1195349 well while i feel he may be a bit overpowered I've introduced several elements that can pose a threat. the mane six as i pointed out in the story and doesn't his power resemble a certain character? there will be more as i develop the story and refine it into a real adventure.
I like the fact that he is overpowered, to me it makes it more interesting, I can't wait for the next chapter, as I really like how this is starting off
Interesting. So far you seem to be able to balance out and properly use the near omnipotent being, this so-called 'Jacob' without losing the comedy and without being cliche. Will read on.
Lol, cool story bro... for real
I liked everything about this other then the Trixie part which seem a bit to random but *meh* good story.
I liked it!
Like the guy above me said, everything but the Trixie part was fine and I look forward to more!
Awesome so far but a bit rushed though. Details and that kind of stuff should be more common. but over all a great idea and a great chapter 1!
1192926 first of all, thanks for the feedback, and second the trixie scene was done by my little brother while he was in the bathroom. i was going to change it but i couldnt bring myself to do it
1193391 so you have wished it, so it shall be!
1191544 why thank you good sir/madam
1192907 the trixie scene was done by my little brother while he was in the bathroom. i was going to change it but i couldnt bring myself to do it, he was so happy that he wrote something for my story.
This is the type of mage that other mages wish they were.
1194564 that was the plan, still trying to pinpoint his weaknesses
He's to badass? 1194987
1195349 well while i feel he may be a bit overpowered I've introduced several elements that can pose a threat. the mane six as i pointed out in the story and doesn't his power resemble a certain character? there will be more as i develop the story and refine it into a real adventure.
I like the fact that he is overpowered, to me it makes it more interesting, I can't wait for the next chapter, as I really like how this is starting off
1196608 well wait no longer, i am on a roll!
Interesting. So far you seem to be able to balance out and properly use the near omnipotent being, this so-called 'Jacob' without losing the comedy and without being cliche. Will read on.