Bluebloods Big Adventure

by Gingerquill

Prologue

“You’re sending me where?!” Prince Blueblood gasped in shock and horror at his new ruler, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Her new crown had not long settled upon her brow before she had begun reviewing and familiarising herself with the roles and titles of the palace staff and residents. One in particular had stood out on the lists, not by virtue of his duties, but rather their total absence.

“The Zebra Lands.” She repeated, keeping her face deliberately pleasant. Seeing the non-existent extent of Bluebloods role within the palace, and indeed Equestria at large, Twilight was at a loss to explain exactly what it was he was the Prince of.

So far as she could tell, nopony else seemed to know either…

“It has come to my attention that a new Princess has come of age in the Zebra Lands, and in the interests of extending the good will and friendship of Equestria, I have decided that you will visit as an emissary. I am sure your knowledge of etiquette and noble propriety will serve you well. Future relations between the Zebra Lands and Equestria could hang upon a good first impression.”

The fact that while Blueblood probably did possess a vague knowledge of etiquette and propriety, but apparently chose to ignore them, was not lost on Twilight. Still, she had decided it was time for the Prince to earn his keep and do something useful with himself and maybe for the land at large. Sadly, this was proving far more difficult than she had originally envisioned.

“But I don’t even know where they are!” he whined.

“And that’s quite alright,” Twilight continued smiling politely, “I have had a quick brief prepared that will allow you to familiarise yourself with a few important points of Zebra Culture, including details of their homelands. In fact, a little more information would not go amiss, our knowledge of Zebra history has a lot of room for improvement. Be sure to make a point of learning a little more while you’re there.”

“But, surely there’s somepony else you can send? It’s probably dusty out there…” It didn’t take long for his whinging to grind on Twilight’s nerves these days. If she didn’t find a use for him soon, she was going to need a good dentist.

“It’s all been handled.” She was forcing her smile through clenched teeth now. “You’ll be travelling with an entourage and they will keep you safe. And clean… Now, don’t allow me to keep you any further, you have preparations to make and a brief to read.”

Blueblood opened his mouth to complain more but instead slowly closed it again, perhaps choosing discretion over valour upon seeing the slightly crazy twitch in Twilight’s eye. Bowing his head in defeat he turned to trudge sullenly and slowly out of the throne room, settling for mumbling under his breath. After he finally left and the doors closed with a dull boom, Twilight released a sigh that might have been a muted scream.

“I never imagined the day would come when I actually missed Chrysalis, Tirek and Cosey Glow. Yet here it is.”

“Highness,” the Royal Equerry, Raven Inkwell, began cautiously, “not that I wish to tarnish our working relationship this early on by repeatedly questioning the wisdom of your decisions, but are you entirely certain sending Prince Blueblood on a diplomatic mission is a good idea?”

“Probably not,” Twilight conceded after a moment’s thought, “but frankly I’ve run out of good ideas and I’ve only got bad ones left. He’s got to be good for something, and I’m determined to find out what.”

“Surely you remember the Jock Strap Incident?” Inkwell asked with a carefully neutral tone.

“There’s an entire cadre of Royal Guards with him, so if any holes need digging this time, he’ll have them around.” Twilight replied quickly with a shudder, before she continued speaking, perhaps trying to convince herself. “There’s no official business to be done, so the formal representative can handle all the delicate matters. All he has to do is arrive with a little pomp and ceremony, watch a ritual dance, be polite and make a little flattering small talk over dinner about how lovely and charming everything is. I doubt even he could make a mess of that.”

Raven was unconvinced.

“There’s a reason Princess Celestia was content to, ah… promote him sideways… for the purposes of public engagements.” she finished with far more diplomacy that the Prince had ever managed.

“You mean hide him under a rock.” Twilight stated flatly.

Raven nodded solemnly, and Twilight sagged with deep sigh that might have been another muted scream.

Comments

[BelleofdaBall]

Blueblood actually DOING something? This I gotta read.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

“Surely you remember the Jock Strap Incident?” Inkwell asked with a carefully neutral tone.

Ah... so Twilight is Freeza. That’s interesting...

[howard035]

10104931
I mean, we have seen at least 4 different forms for her...