Pinkie's Doom Parade

by NeuPferdfurt

Late at night

It was silent except for the winter wind and the occasional rain shower on the roof of the tavern. Twilight Sparkle was wide awake, while her friends were snoring gently all around her.

The purple unicorn had always thought of the sound of raindrops on the roof as something pleasant and soothing. So what had woken her up?

She rolled over and tried to find a more comfortable position, but she wasn’t able to fall asleep again. Something wasn’t right.

Finally, she crawled out of her bed. She decided to check on her friends, using her magic to shed some light.

She went from bed to bed. There was Applejack, sleeping like a rock, her stetson on one of the bedposts. Rainbow Dash tangled in her bedsheets, upside down. Rarity wearing her sleep mask. Fluttershy hugging her pillow, probably dreaming of bunnies.

No Pinkie Pie.

The bed of the pink earth pony was empty. Maybe she had just gotten up because she was thirsty- or the exact opposite, an excess of liquid. But somehow Twilight didn’t believe that. Somehow the idea that Pinkie was wandering around at night all by herself made Twilight feel very uncomfortable.

A sudden noise coming from downstairs made Twilight jump. Slowly, she walked out of the room and down into the hall.

“Pinkie...?”, she whispered.

Just look at yourself! You are Princess Celestia’s most talented student, one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria! You have defeated monsters and ancient demons. You can deal with this.

But another voice in her head said:
You are just an egghead who got lucky. This creature is smarter than you. Not smart like a student of magic. Smart like a predator. And you are just a little filly, both vulnerable and tempting in the eyes of a monster like her.

It was as she had suspected. The sound came from the open tavern door, swaying in the wind.

She is out there, Twilight thought, she is out there right now. Is this a trap? Then again: Is there any safe place when she’s around?

The unicorn pony stepped out into the tavern’s courtyard. The wind was playing with her night gown, as if to mock her.

-

There were many gloomy taverns like this one along the roads leading through the dark, forested hills near Pferdfurt, a small northern town the mane six had visited for their last mission. The locals as well as the regional cuisine would have taken some time to get used to, time the six fillies were glad they had not to spend in these parts. They were already on their way back home. But they still had a long way to travel.

There had been complications along the road, as adventurers tended to be a magnet for trouble. But Twilight knew all too well that this new challenge was far beyond mere “trouble”.

The courtyard was covered in cobblestones, following the local tradition, and in the middle, there was a fountain with a statue.

And on the statue, there was Diane Pie, sitting up there like some sort of freakish monkey.

There was something in her mouth. The unicorn realized it was a knife, dripping with blood. Somehow, this didn’t surprise her.

The pink earth pony opened her mouth and allowed the blade to drop down into the fountain.

“Good evening, Twilight Sparkle.”

“So you are back.”

“I never left. Pinkie Pie is strong, but now that you have awoken me, I will find my way out of her brain. Again, and again, and again. I can’t stay in control for long, I can’t do everything I want, but I’m working on it. I’m practicing, Twilight.”

“Who... who’s blood was that on the knife?”

Diane flashed her teeth.
“You are worried I might have chopped up one of the natives, aren’t you? Alas, no such luck. I had to settle for a more... prosaic target.”

The straight-maned earth pony was licking her lips.
“When I’m coming for you, I want to be sure I’ll have enough time to enjoy it. Babysteps, Twilight. One night, Pinkie Pie will fall asleep and never wake up again. And that night will be a very special night for the both of us.”

As scared as Twilight was, she didn’t back down.
“You didn’t answer my question. Where did the blood on the knife come from, Diane? What did you do?”

Diane’s grin grew even larger.
“Here’s a hint...”

Then she produced a “Meow” so lifelike it sounded as if Diane was an surreal, oversized cat wearing a pink pony costume.

From one second to the next, Diane was gone.

Twilight didn’t turn around. She felt Diane’s breath on her neck.

(“By the way...”), the monster whispered, (“Before I have to go back to sleep, I’ll leave a little present for sweet Miss Fluttershy.”)

And then she had vanished again.

-

Twilight almost screamed when she got back into their room in the tavern.
Fluttershy’s bed was soaked in blood. The unicorn pony assumed the worst, but then she saw the tiny disembodied head on the blanket. It was the cat of the innkeeper. Fluttershy herself seemed to be fine, still sleeping, though the smell and stickyness of the drying blood were making her restless. When the yellow pegasus opened her eyes, Twilight immediately cast a powerful sleep spell on her. It worked just fine.

The unicorn spent the following hours cleaning up Diane’s “present”, as quietly and thoroughly as possible.

-

She had been so preoccupied with this grim task that she had forgotten all about Pinkie.

When she finally checked on her, she found the pink earth pony happily asleep in her bed, her mane back to its trade-mark fluffyness. She looked so peaceful, so childlike. But there was still blood on her hooves. Twilight would have to clean that as well.

I know when Diane is coming, Twilight thought, I can feel it. If I can just stay with Pinkie... watch over her... Maybe we’ll be alright...

She was looking at her friend for several minutes. Finally, she slipped under the earth pony’s blanket, putting her front legs around her. This, of course, woke Pinkie Pie up.

(“Hi!!”)

(“Hey Pinkie Pie... is it okay if I sleep here with you tonight? I had a nightmare...”)

(“No problemo! You want me to sing you a lullaby, so you’ll dream of nice things?”)

(“Wouldn’t that wake the others?”)

(“Then I’ll hum it into your ear instead.”)

Before Twilight fell asleep, inhaling the sweet smell of Pinkie Pie’s coat, she thought:
Tomorrow, I have to talk to Applejack. I can’t do this all by myself.